Oh no! An angry elf is challenging you! To the death! How do

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>>52573549
>backing out of an honor duel
Shamefur dispray

>>52573549
I'm a tradesman, I don't even have a sword! Whatever I'll find something to delay death by person with an actual weapon.

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>>52573549

Offer to lick her thighs instead. Up to two hours.

>>52573549
ROLL TO GRAB HER EARS!

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>52573549
I roll to seduce.

>>52573549
I leave?
I don't care about my reputation.

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>52573549
I roll to caress her ears.

>>52573549
Nah, I'm good, thanks

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>52573549
I roll to lick her thighs.

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>52573549
I roll to goatse at her until she submits.

>>52573549
Ask her reasons, then fight. If I win, ask if she's still sure about the "to the death" part.

Rolled 6 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>52573701
>>52573692
>>52573682
>>52573657
>>52573645
>>52573621
It's Opportunity Attack time, then.

>>52573549
*looks at sword* ... *looks at armor* *laughs*. Tell them that they are not a worthy opponent. If they then attack either dodge or block with buckler. Then grab their sword by the blunt end and bash them in their face with my shield.

>>52573549
Okay, but if I win you have to retire your sword and bear my children.

>>52573549
What the hell is she wearing?

>>52573768
Pole dancing garb. I bet Tulvik put her up to this. Whoreson is always sending pizzas and strippergrams to my work place.

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>>52573706
>If I win

>>52573768
She's obviously suffering from Chuunibyou.

>>52573745

You block with your buckler, and can only watch in horror as her stupid sword cuts cleanly through it, and your arm as well. You underestimated elven craftsmanship. You underestimated it greatly.

Would you like to try again?

>>52573853
We ReZero now?

>>52573549
Tell her that this is not the board to play forum games.

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>>52573853
THAS A GRAND STORY BUT YE SEE ME BUCKLER IS A LOT LIKE ME SWORD...

>>52573853
That doesn't look like elven craftmanship. It looks like a sharpened piece of sheet metal with a handle attached.

>>52573895
...designed to be weilded in two hands?

>>52573912

Not all elves go for the ornate aesthetic. Its only got an edge on one side, but its a hell of an edge.

>>52573853
You don't block a two handed sword straight on with a buckler you use it to deflect the blade aside, that being said it is still possible that the blade goes trough the buckler and some of my arm I stab the elf through the neck with my dagger.

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>>52573921
SURE IF YOUR A NOODLE ARMED
WAFER THIN
MILK SUCKIN
LOW TEST
SON OF A HAGGIS HOARKER

>>52573549
Beat her up and marry her ''till death do us part''.

But no seriously i bet retarded Elven marraige rituals are the true reason they have a low population.

>>52574008
ELF SLAVIN'

>>52573549

"I am a merchant, not a warrior. To cut down someone clearly weaker than yourself is no great honor and for me to tarnish my reputation by offending such a noble race without cause is an even greater dishonor. Allow me to reimburse you for your troubles and offer my most sincere apologies."

>>52573549
I challange her to death by snu snu

>>52573969
> this guy thinks he is hot shit going into a fight with a buckler and a dagger

Laughing so hard I am crying. Even my wizard has better weapons than that.

Okay but duels are a little different for my people. First, we must both get compketely naked.

>>52573549

Knowing my character, he'll just not understand what she's asking, then probably end up to get her frustrated due his non-understanding, and she'll get hugged by the titan-strenght beastman until she calmed down. Probably by the end of it, while her reputation won't be in one piece (and mine was non-existant anyway), she'll just give up on trying to challenge him.


Otherwise, in general?
Bullshit the everloving shit out of her. Give religious/social/whatever reason for which she cannot challenge me and/or viceversa. Apologize profusely, and give an alternative challenge that more acceptable.

>>52573823
She's literally a little girl. I'm not exactly sure how that's supposed to inspire even mild concern.

>>52574336

You're forgetting that she is

T H I C C
H
I
C
C

Look at those thighs. Look at those abs and pecs. She could fuck your shit up then get dis dick

>>52574336
She's an elf. If we go by DnD standard she can be very well smaller than you and still fuck your shit up.

>>52573608
Yeah, that's how my kobold would do it.

>>52574371
>thicc
Gross anon, she can't be more than 150 years old!

>>52573730
>>52573701
>attack of opportunity.
Goatse is a ranged attack, anon

Disarm her, then when she has no weapon throttle her neck until she is no more.

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>1/3

"Iliira!" shouted the elf.

"Me…" Iliira grumbled, looking up from where she stood behind the bar, cleaning one of the mugs. The drow found herself looking at a blond-haired, green-eyed, pale-skinned elf, dressed in what Iliira could only described as the stupidest getup she'd ever seen in her life, holding what might have been a sword if one didn't look very closely and notice that it was wood painted silver.

She also was, maybe, three and a half feet tall.

"What?" Iliira asked.

"I challenge you!" The elf girl shouted. "We'll fight...to the death!"

Iliira blinked. Ulgoth's Beard was starting to attract strange visitors, ever since she'd been part of the party that had sent Tiamat back to the Nine Hells. People coming to see one of the heroes of the Sword Coast. She was certainly the easiest to track down, ever since she'd managed to return home and settle down, running her father's inn.

Iliira leaned down on the bar, looking the elf girl in the face. "Where are your parents?" She asked.

The elf girl maintained her glare for a moment more, before breaking out into a huge smile. "Our ship just docked," she said. “And I heard that the Drunk Duck Inn is where you lived, and you’re the hero Iliira Ii’ilmerias, and you slew Arauthator the White, and helped slay Tiamat, and escaped the City of Brass! So I came right here!” Her face screwed up into a look of determination. “My name is Sereia! And if I beat you, then I’ll be just as famous!”

>>52574047
SHIT POSTIN'

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>>52574456
>2/3

The dark elf wondered if that was true. “So, to the death, huh?” she asked, coming out slowly from behind the bar. The other patrons were watching the exchange amusedly as Iliira picked up a mop, popping the handle out and pointing her ‘sword’ at the girl. “You think you can beat me?”

“I know I can! Mama and papa have been teaching me how to use a sword in case of pirates. I’m the best! I beat papa yesterday. That means I can beat you, hero of the Sword Coast!”

“Well,” Iliira said slyly, holding the mop handle up in salute before dropping into a combat stance. “En garde, then!”

Sereia copied the motion, then lunged forward, her ‘sword’ aimed at Iliira’s stomach. Iliira countered easily, of course, falling back a little. Sereia advanced, and Iliira retreated further, up onto a table that no one was at. Sereia followed easily enough. Her sword-strokes lacked any real power or speed, but her footwork – just as important as anything else in a sword fight – was pretty good. To be expected, Iliira guessed, given that she apparently lived on a ship and so was used to rolling decks and climbing riggings and whatnot.

Iliira kept her routine basic, a series of feints, parries, and ripostes that didn’t quite reach Sereia, while she moved around the bar room, hopping from table to floor, even swinging from a rafter at one point. A glance and a few motions at the bar patrons ensured that the others present would cheer at Sereia’s every good thrust or near-miss, while they booed Iliira’s retreats and own counters.

Finally, at what seemed like a good enough time, Iliira let herself swing her ‘sword’ wide, leaving an obvious opening. Sereia saw it and took advantage, diving in and gabbing her own ‘sword’ against Iliira’s stomach. The drow let herself fall back and into a chair, clutching at her ‘wound’. “You got me!” she called.

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>>52574478
>3/3

“Yay!” Sereia cried out, jumping for joy – at least until her name was called out, loudly and simultaneously, by two adult voices. Iliira looked, and saw a man and woman elf advancing into the bar.

“What do you think you’re doing?” The man demanded. “Running off into a strange new town?”

“But Iliira lives here!” Sereia countered, pointing at the innkeeper. “Iliira Ii’ilmerias! The greatest thief in the Sword Coast! And I beat her!”

“And I’m sure she has better things to do then look after you,” the older elf woman said.

The dark elf, for her part, shrugged. “Not really. It’s a slow day,” she said as she stood. It wasn’t her job to curb Sereia’s delinquency, after all. And it wasn’t like Iliira’s own habits hadn’t worked out in her favor. “So I take it you’ll all need a room?”

They did, and Iliira provided them with a room key and went over the list of services the Drunk Duck Inn provided. The two older elves headed upstairs after that, and Iliira smiled to herself at Sereia’s eagerness. It was only after the young elf was out of sight, however, that Iliira realized something: Not once had Sereia, or her parents, brought up the fact that she was a dark elf. She’d been referred to as thief, and a hero – and not a drow. Because it hadn’t mattered, hadn’t been important, to any of them.

Iliira didn’t stop grinning for the rest of the day.

>>52574384

Yep. And in other settings, like LOTR, she is probably just straight up better than you.

Settings where Elves are equals or lessers to humans are just lame power fantasies. Why bother even calling them elves at that point?

>>52573549

hah! "to the death"! Jokes on the elf! as a human I'll die of old age long before the elf does, leaving the elf to spend the rest of her extremely long life living in shame knowing that she's been defeated by a lowly human

>>52574558
>equals
To make it possible to play them.
>lessers to humans
You are right.

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>>52574456
>>52574478
>>52574498

>>52574558

There's more than one stat. Elves can be better at some things and worse at others, making them interestingly different than other races. I mean, that's obvious, you knew that already. I guess you're just being an asshole?

>>52573549
Say I concede and drink a tincture that will briefly kill me.

>>52574705
Found the human.

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>>52573692

>>52574705
In LOTR, and many other settings, Elves are strictly better than humans in all ways. That's what that poster's saying. They're also saying settings where this isn't the case are lame. You're misunderstanding their points, perhaps intentionally.

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>>52573549
>Exalted
>elf/raksha challenging an Abyssal
>angry makes sense, we are murdering large swathes of the Wyldright now
Frankly I'm surprised she can get within thirty paces and not corrode into black ash.
I will have to rip this trick from the wretch and learn to counter it before other whimsical lies like her start to become annoyances.

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>>52573549
BLYAT

>>52573549
Orgasm is called "little death" not without a reason.

>>52573549
Another elf for the basement? First catch of the day.

>>52574498
Cute, but that little girl is gonna get the shit kicked out of her when she tries that with some other hero.

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>>52573549
I shoot first with my sawed-off, go Gauru, and rip her dumb ass to pieces. Rahu Iron Master COMING THE FUCK THROUGH.

First blood instead. Death is needless, but you still get your taste for bloodshed.

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>>52573549
But I'm just a poor pleb with no combat training. What could I have possibly done to offend her enough for her to challenge me to a duel to the death? Can't we just have a cook-off instead?

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>>52573549
>get threatened to be killed by a stranger
>without tarnishing her (...) reputation

Why the fuck should I care for her reputation if she's threatening to fucking kill me? I think that by itself is pretty reputation-ruining.

Can we resolve this without violence? We could be cute elf girl friends instead

>>52573549
Sure, but I decide the time and place.

>>52573853
>got an 11 even with +5 to hit
>this much stupidity
>without even rolling damage
Why would I get hit on an 11? What am I, a wizard?

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>>52573549
We gun her down and keep moving. We don't have time to deal with rowdy civilians

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>>52573549
IF IT IS A FIGHT YOU SEEK THEN IT IS A FIGHT YOU SHALL HAVE

>>52573549
if i win,i want you hand for marriage...as a corpse you will serve no purpose to anyone

>>52573549
I put her over a fence.
Then I'm off to smoke souls and drown a bag of puppies.
>Antipaladin Life, nigga

>>52573549
I tell her to shut the fuck up, grow the fuck up, and get a life.

>>52576056
>In the distant future we forget how to make guns that aren't blocks

>>52574498
>>52574478
>>52574456
Alt version she tries to pull that shit with the That Guy's PC, when the parents come to the tavern she's not there but that guy's grinning ear to ear like a douche.

Moral of the story: Watch your fucking kid, 80% of adventurers are murderous and/or pedophiles.

>>52574798

Your right

I cast Power Word: Orgasm

So what do I win?

>>52576751
I love the blocky aesthetic so it works for me

Rolled 8 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>52577001
Rolling for CON save

>>52577001
>>52577145
As she had below 101 sex points, she orgasms instantly.
You win a new elf with benefits.

>>52577195
Stop railroading.

>>52573549
But I, too, am an elf. A half-elf, sure, but an elf, nonetheless!

I am also an innocent half-elf! I shall convince her that she has the wrong person, and if that doesn't work, convince her that she's wrong!

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>>52573549
"By the rules of my knighthood, he who is challenged decides the armaments of battle.

We shall fight to the death via wrestling in jello while fantastically inebriated."

>>52576023
>300 years later

"Where is he?!"

>>52573549
The party being challenged to a duel traditionally gets to choose the weapon. I choose faithful loving marriage as the weapon, and accept that she will eventually win in another 50 to 70 years.

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>52573549
I roll to convince her that she was my toaster all along.

>>52574478
Foot work is actually the most important part of fencing.

>>52573549
Did an elf just challenge the local town noble and mayor.
I don't even need to politely decline.
No. If you want to make some sort of deal with me, do it properly. Don't waste my time in some silly duel.

Rolled 12 (1d20)

I roll to bluff her into backing down out of fear of my apparent power.

>Maam. This is a bread store.

>>52580037
>>52580103
kek

>>52573549
"There will be time for duels when the archlich is dead. You can fight me when that bastard is dust."
>There's no way she'll survive the war with that kit.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>52573549
I cast dominate person.

>>52580079
>out of fear of my apparent power.
Read power as "boner" and now I'm weirdly disappointed in us both, anon.

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Wait until she's grown up and then motorboat her.

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>>52573549
"As the challenged i am allowed to choose the method by which we duel. I CHOOSE HIDE AND SEEK! I will of course be 'it' first. Now I will shut my eyes and count to 30 to give you time to hide."

>>52580445
You might want to explain the game carefully to her first or you could run afoul of pesky cultural confusion. Specifically she might decide that the best way to hide is a good offense and stab you while your eyes are shut, then bury you in a shallow grave.

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>52573549
I propose to it.

>>52580660
RIP THIS GUY WITH A 1

>>52573549
Tell her that you'll fight her in 100 years time.

She might remember, but by then you'll probably be dead

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>52580660
>>52580680
S-SHIT

I cast Feeblemind?

>>52580769
YOU'RE NOT DOING MUCH BETTER

I THINK IT'S YOU WITH THE FEEBLEMIND

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>52581055
BULL FUCKING SHIT IMMA WIN THIS

I CAST FIST

>>52573549
>decline
kek

>>52581094
JESUS CHRIST

WHADYA CAST, CHIN?

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>52581186
FUCK ALL OF THIS

I START INSTRUMENTALITY

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>>52580660
>>52580680
>>52580769
>>52581055
>>52581094
>>52581186
>>52581206
And so ended the tale of one anon, cursed forever by the Gods of dice and love, and an angry elf that was just sort of there.

https://youtu.be/5sWyODJ5dKc

>>52581319
*sniff*
beautiful

>>52573549
Reputation? Hah! I've already killed the entire royal family, and that was by accident! I'm never coming back from this. She can have her duel, but don't count on me to actually fight back.

>>52573549
I'm not dealing with her shit, I've got better things to to do. I snap my own neck.

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>52573549
I bash the elf's kneecaps in with my warhammer.

Rolled 2 (1d20)

"Can't we settle this in the bedroom instead, love?"

>>52574138
>Laughing so hard I am crying. Even my wizard has better weapons than that.

That dumbass doesn't know how leather works. I think we should just sneer at him in derision, since he obviously (from the buckler and dagger payload) is a new adventurer going out to feed the lich's armies...

>>52581594
>>52574138
>not having a special anti-elf dagger called Ear Knife in your arsenal

>>52579977
>Foot work is actually the most important part of fencing.
I thought it was the posts, else the rest of the fence wouldn't stay up...

>>52581645
Stop making shit up, newbie. The loss of the arm would have sent you into negative numbers from blood loss, and you wouldn't have had the propensity to stab her.

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>>52573549
Politely decline? Bitch, G. "Cherryslayer" Washington doesn't even take his foot off the accelerator!

>>52581748
You are truly low INT if you think you can convince us that there doesn't exist in all a natural propensity to stab an elf. Even elves have that! And speaking of newbies, the dude didn't even roll for attack let alone damage.

Get this armchair dungeonmastering the fuck out of here. It's clear you aren't even going to pay your fair share of the pizza.

>>52581833
I pitch in for the pizza - I was giving the guy what he deserved - armchair playing, because he did not roll. Not rolling WOULD get a penalty from a good DM to shut that shit down.

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Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>52573549
>to the death
This must be some kind of elven proposition.
Accept, and have dozens of half-elves with her.

>>52581748
Shit, son, assuming the elf's sword is stuck in the buckler and the dude's arm that's pretty much a clinch. You're going to take a penalty trying to maneuver a sword under those circumstances but pulling a dagger from a belt would provide a viable alternative. And for all that is holy don't be that stupid wizard who tries to throw a fireball.

>>52581866
Trying to step in and dictate the game without rolling yourself would get you penalized from any good DM. If someone isn't following the rules you let the DM handle it, you don't leap in and compound the problem by being That Guy.

>>52573549
Ask her why she is attempting to duel me as I walk my dog. Ask her if she wants to pet my dog. Tell her that she doesn't need to kill me to pet my dog.

>>52573549

I hate this Copypasta.

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>52573549
I roll to fake my death.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>52576023
>Until death do us part
Because I never say it. It nice to have an elfu following you around and saving you because she won't let you die until the duel.

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Look, bitch.
I may be a half-elf, but the other half is demon.
Don't make me literally vomit locusts and destroy you and all the forests your kin have ever slept in.

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>>52573549
I see your Ribbon and choose Cestree. Cestree trumps Ribbon, so I win.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>52573549
I attempt to persuade him to partake of a competition where our lives aren't on the line. Specifically, we create two TTRPG characters and have them PvP, the loser being obligated to perform one task each day for the next twenty two fortnights.

>>52582720
there's something wrong with her hips

>>52573549
>without tarnishing her
fuck, you got my signature trick, OP. I pull out my trusty 300 pigeons and toss them at her while escaping.
no one mentioned my reputation was any good to begin with.

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>>52573549
>declining a duel to the death
>ever

I bet Ausar never had to deal with this shit

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>>52582892
Ausar's a bitch

Claim your god forbids frivolous dueling. If anyone enquires who your god is bluff and name some minor forest deity

>>52583267
(Of course if it seems like an environment where admitting a different god would get you burnt at the stake claim your lord forbids it/you swore an oath)

>>52583277
"M-Miss Elf, how dare you! My girlfriend died from a duel to the death and I've never gotten over it!"

I guarantee you she'll be sobbing within 8 seconds flat, then move in for the hug. You go for the reach around and backstab because rogues don't play fair.

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>>52573549
Ask little xeno where are her parents, escort her to nearest Webway gate and wish Ynnari safety.

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>>52573549
>bringing a sword to a gunfight
yeah this'll be over quick

>>52582955
my QIP ascendant brother

Infinity Blade setting post IB3 where all the deathless are fighting in a giant global war to try and get their hands on the infinity weapons when?

>>52573549
...one if those honor duels to the death, eh? Well, good thing I've got a secret technique that I've been holding onto for days like this. A culmination of an ancient martials arts final technique, and a clans' long tradition...

LATER, BITCH, I'M OUTTA HERE!

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>>52573549
Why does she want to fight me?

I am but a humble potato farmer tending to my crops.

Why must she torment me and make me remember my glory days?

>>52573549
"I used to fight people to the death like you, then I took an arrow to the knee."

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>>52573549
I will Duel you but this will now be a Shadow Game

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>>52573549
>How do you politely dec

Swords are out and she doesn't leave this duel without a seriously fucking huge and gross and scabby scar festering somewhere visible on her pretty elf body to remind her for a long goddamn time why you don't dickwave death challenges to people who have already duelled far, far worse to defend their home against everything else that's tried to take it.

Duel to the death. Christ. Stupid fucking worthless amateur elf.

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>>52573549

>>52573549
Elves are inferior. I do not give them the honor of dueling me. I tell her to go back to her treehouse and pluck some strings on her silly harp.

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>>52573549
"Do you really feel the need to die this day? Find someone else to be your executioner."

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>>52573549
I'm going to try my absolute best as my rolls, buffs, and every trick allows to first disarm her, and then shove her over.

And then when she gets up, I'm gonna shove her over again.

And I'm gonna keep doing that, as best I can, every time she tries to stand.

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>>52573549
>Elf-chan you...
>...to the death? Me?
>Elf-chan chose ME? To the death? To be your final boss? Me!
>You want me! ME! Oh!! Elf-chan! Yes, yes! Yes! Elf-chan I will, you want it that much then yes yes yes yes yes I will! FOR YOU! ALL FOR YOU! PLEASE ELF CHAN DO IT FAST FOR ME! STRIKE TRUE AND FAST INTO ME DEEP! DEEP DEEP DEEP PLEASE I NEED IT ELF-CHAN, OH, OH IT'S SO HOT IT HURTS INSIDE ELF-CHAN, PLEASE IT'S COMING OUT PLEASE PLEASE IN ME ELF-CHAN PLLEEEEEAAAASSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>52573549

I pull out my arquebus and do this.

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>>52573549
The fuck kinda reputation I have where any women would notice me, senpai?

I decline by suckerpunching her and running away.

My reputation as an asshole is safe!

>>52583875
Jesus fucking christ. How fucked up would some dumb elf be if you just marched up to her screaming and tore your own head off or something as a response to the challenge? She'd be too scared to challenge anyone ever again.

>>52573549
I try to talk her out of it and see why exactly is she challenging me. If that doesn't work then i just beat the daylights out of her rather unceremoniously.

>>52583917

And then you just have your cleric res you. Problem solved, and they will be too traumatized to challenge you again.

>>52574458
DORITOS FINGER'D

>>52573608
This is always the best response.

Rolled 10 (1d20)

I spank her.

Please don't bump shit threads.

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>>52573549
>Choose the weapons
>I CHOOSE ROCK

>>52587646

What happens next?

>>52573549
I declare my admiration for her and decline on the grounds that I would never harm something so lovely and beautiful.

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>>52587748

>>52587646
>>52587764
Still a shame this was dropped.

>>52574336
Plus, y'know, elf. That means she automatically has some levels in Pansie.

>>52587646
>>52587764
now kiss

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>>52588154

>>52573657
>>52573682
>>52573692
>>52573701
>>52578617
>>52580660
>>52580769
>>52581094
>>52581206
>>52581545
>>52581579
>>52581900
>>52582201
>>52582269
>>52582721
>>52587017
So far, the highest roll has been to lick her thighs.

>>52574498
That was cute. Thanks Anon.

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>>52573549
This is why I do 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 Squats, and 10 km run every day.

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Is she bare crotched?

>>52589856
It's almost like she wears nonsensical clothes.

>>52589992
No, nonsensical cloths are one thing, but her anatomy is nonsensical. There should be a pussy. Where is the pussy?

This isn't an elf it's a homunculous shaped like an elf, a wizard sent her to assassinate you obviously, and is planning on taking advantage of your retarded grognard sensibilities. Disintegrate her and find the real enemy

>>52590068
It's almost like she's drawn nonsensically.

>>52589992
>>52590068
>>52590169
What is so strange about a leotard having multiple colors?

>>52589992
>>52590068
its a leotard you douchebags

>>52590327
christ, i was wondering I had to say it first.

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>>52590068
It kinda looks like a plugsuit.

>>52590357
or literally any marvel/DC super hero outfit

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>>52590483
There was a glorious era of the early 90's where Jim Lee decided that "Bodysuit + Jacket" was the new thing, and everyone ended up in a bodysuit and a jacket.

I think Rogue is one of the few characters that still uses that look.

>>52589856
We all are, anon. This isn't a duel in the traditional sense. Wait till you see the monster she's been tucking twixt her tight elvish buttocks.

You best start believing in /d/ threads on /tg/, you've been in one this entire time!

>>52590868
those body suits would have to be specially tailored to be form fitting. Like, boob socks basically. Lose/gain 10 pounds and the line would be ruined.

Deadpool's suit is probably the most realistic one you'll see in comics.

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>>52590898

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>>52573549
I tell her that if she wants to challenge me to death combat, she has to earn the right first by beating me at pogs.

Bitches don't know about my slammers.

>>52584613
DOESN'T-PITCH-IN-FOR-SNACKS

>>52573549

According to the rules, I'm in the right to chose the challenge. Therefore, I chose something that she has never done, or embarrassing to her.

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>>52573549

>>52573549
I guess I'll have to fuck her until she is heart-eyed.

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>>52583322
>This picture sums it up pretty nicely

I guess you can count the actual population of /tg/ based on this thread. Everyone will see this thread at some point, jump in, post something along the line of:
>kill the elf
>waifu the elf
and jump out. Because that's all there is to this thread. Role-playing at its best.

>>52592535
What about becoming business partners with the elf?

>>52573549
> How do you politely decline without tarnishing her or your own reputation?
"You know that my dick is longer than the knife you're holding, right?"

>>52592693
Roll for bluff.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>52592725
I actually was going for Intimidate, but whatever you say, bud.

>>52592741
I don't think this is how intimidate works.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>52592769
>he can't even intimidate people with the size of his penis
Anon, puh-lease.

>>52592810
Saying your penis is bigger than it could ever be is a bluff and nigger logic

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>52592890
>he doesn't use the genemods to give himself a knotted 2ft. long prehensile double-penis "for her pleasure ;)" (tm)
Sad!

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>52573549
Rollin for half-elf-on-elf diplomacy

>>52593010
>"for her pleasure ;)" (tm)
who's the lucky mare?

>>52593400
I think you made her madder.

>>52573549
One of my characters is an exalt with the charm that lets them punch the Wyld out of something, with amusing effects on Fae and the like; they're also second only to the Dawn in combat.
Another is a DnD bard made out trickery and deception skill checks; she's possibly after him because he already won against her before and now she's back for more before she loses again.
Another IS an elf. It might be much more of a problem for them, but they would politely point out they're a scholar of the Royal Academy and no longer an adventurer and would need to abstain.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>52573549
Roll to uncover the fiend's disguise! That is no elf!

>>52573549
Shut it elf! Can't you see I'm looking into your eyes?

>>52593906
I HAVE SPECIAL EYES

>>52593912
https://youtu.be/KjHclWPVij0

>>52574450
Hi there Virt

>>52594012
xD
He posted it again!

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Rolled 19 (1d20)

I wildshape into a bumblebee. Roll for intimidation

>>52574478
>The dark elf wondered if that was true. “So, to the death, huh?” she asked, coming out slowly from behind the bar. The other patrons were watching the exchange amusedly as Iliira unsheathed her great blade, pointing her ‘sword’ at the girl. “You think you can beat me?”
>“I know I can! Mama and papa have been teaching me how to use a sword in case of pirates. I’m the best! I beat papa yesterday. That means I can beat you, hero of the Sword Coast!”
>“Well,” Iliira said slyly, holding the sword up in salute before dropping into a combat stance. “En garde, then!”
>With a single deft swing of her blade, Iliira cut the young elf down. Blood spattered across the floorboards as her head, sword arm and shoulder were separated from her body.
>A few minutes later, Sereia's parents arrived at the inn. They, too, were cut down by the ruthless Drow, as is typical of her race. Their bodies and the bodies of all the witnesses were sacrificed to Lolth.

>>52594090
Success! The elf, not sure how you knew her fear of such insects, drops her weapon and runs off, screaming incoherent ramblings of how they are in her eyes and how she does not like Jazz.

>>52594197
I hover as she flees from my powerful stinger and scream out that her kind is not welcome in my neck of the woods

>>52593526
...Well, I never liked that side of the family anyway.

(Pulls an axe and knife)

>>52573549
*teleports behind her*
Nothing Personal, Kid...

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>>52594090
>>52594197
>>52594222
What's this? An Elven female terrorized by shapeshifting bees? A large influx of bees should put a stop to this!

>>52594276
Critical teleportation failure. You have materialized overtop of the elf, creating a horrific hybrid known as the Brundlelf. You immediately challenge yourself to a duel to the death.

>>52573549
*Dimensional Doors out of your way*

>>52573549
Have my Barbarian buddy step in for me and do the fighting on my behalf.

Reputation can't be harmed if the only living person who knows about the duel is in cahoots with me.

There is no discussion happening in this thread.

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>>52594493
*Dimensional Anchors your path*

>>52594510
Haven't you been paying attention, anon? The bees saw. The bees are always watching. Always.

>>52573549
Jokes on you, I don't have a reputation to tarnish!

This thread would have been archived a long time ago if there wasn't an elf in OPs post.

>>52573549
>elf
I pat the little girl on the head and keep walking.

>>52573549
Rapidfire: Mighty Strike, Mighty Strike, Mighty Strike, Mighty Strike -> Brave Burst: Rapidfire (As above) Rapidfire (As Above) Rapidfire (As Above) Dance of Invigoration -> Belt of Time -> Brave Burst -> Rapidfire (As Above) Rapidfire (As Above) Rapidfire (As Above) Synchronization: Team Attack [2-4 other players doing the same thing]

Enjoy 600 hits for 9999 each, scrub.

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It's time to kill a thread.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>52573549
Little girl, you are physically incapable of killing me. (Pat her on the head, rollin to persuade)

>>52594789
I'd let her pull on my meat.

>>52594662
Fucking pleb, having to use a day long cooldown in a duel.

>>52594864
Hey now, it said not to tarnish her rep so I guess he figured the best way to do that was to go all out.

>>52595133
You know, it would probably be easier to hid a thread you don't like than spam it.

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>>52573549
Not sure how accepting her challenge would harm either of our reputations. Going by OP's image she looks capable.

I would try to beat her down with my mace and hopefully just knock her unconscious after messing-up her leg. After that I'd relieve her of her sword and bind her before dragging her ass to a healer of some sort and dumping her off there.

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>Chaotic Good paladin of freedom
>18 cha
>7 int
He would probably turn and ask the party why this oddly dressed child is challenging him, turn to them and ask if they need help getting home, that they don't need to threaten him to get a ride and food if necessary.

That said if she attacks him unprovoked there's going to be a seriously pissed off paladin and probably one very unconscious elf soon.

>>52595666
It's not worth it, Satan! The elves have invaded! Can't you see them!

At any rate even an elf child is probably two or three times older than your paladin. Not really sure why that is, as if elves have really slow development times.

Who is this elf slut anyway and why won't she (male) fucking die already?

Marcille isn't very elfy when it comes to elves.

>>52595740
Some poor autistic Marcille fan has flipped his shit. I'd recommend reply hide or report for spam.

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>this thread

>>52595963
Combo breaker, eh?

>>52595291
I think what was meant was to avoid exactly what you said. If you just clobber her you spoil her reputation too. Although the scenario was how to decline which most people ignored anyway.

THE MAGIC FORCE OF THIS POST PROTECTS AGAINST VILE ELF INVADERS! ANY ELF POSTING AFTER THIS POST BUT NOT REPLYING TO THIS POST WILL GET MAGICAL SPACE TYPHOON CANCER AND WILL DIE A VIRGIN AT THE AGE OF SIXTY NINE.

>>52573549
rape

>>52573549
Offer her my body instead.

Hopefully I'll get a reputation for being a whore and be taken back to the elf village to be used by all the other elf women.

Rolled 8 (1d20)

"Well if that's the way you want it then you leave me no choi OH GODS WHAT IS THAT!?"

I scream pointing behind her before running in the opposite direction.

>>52595998
In that case then I would say that my (made-up) code of honor demands we share a meal before our duel. During the meal I will attempt to dissuade her from a duel and figure-out just why she challenged me.

>>52596142
Isn't it Mystical Space Typhoon?