Think of a Space Marine chapter (chaos is okay). A marine of

Well, that hole in my bathroom ceiling is fixed. As well as the grout in the tile. The half-built porch is finished and equipped with a bolter turret. All doors are replaced and gold plated.

I would be okay with this.

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>>52458462
Forgot picture

>Night Lord roommate
Fuck yeah

>>52458462
>>52458481

yes

>Ultramarine Chad waking me up at 5 AM to run

Fuck you OP

>Imperial Fists

I like to think he'd try and get me into construction.

>World Eater

aaaaand me and my family is dead

Crimson fist huh? I'll probably be fine.

>>52458413
>space wolves
Unless his wolves and wolf-furs and wulfen friends and hypoallergenic, I'm gonna have a bad time.

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>He steals my house.

Great.

>Salamanders

Aside from the possibility of my house burning down I'm OK with this.

>>52458413
>live in a fourth-floor walkup

uh-oh.

>>52459668
Salamander roommate would be bro tier for life.

Just really off putting to look at.

>>52459729

>Get home late
>Salamander turns off light in entry way
>Pitch Black except for two bright red glowing eyes
>"Welcome home, friend."
>Followed by a large toothy grin
>Still can't make out his facial features

>>52458751
Your house was gifted.

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>>52458413
>Emperor's Children

JUST

My room mate tells me I should lose more flesh and that flesh is for the weak.

Crap, word bearers
>walk home, find entire house has been deticated to the dark gods
>crap

Fuck yeah White Scar bro, to ride motorcycles with.

>>52458413
>black templar
The living room is now training grounds for noviciates.

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Doesn't say much outside of 'ALL IS DUST', but he plays a mean piano.

>>52459983
>Hey roomie, you got a second to talk about our lord and savior, Chaos?

Iron Warriors... fuck my life.

>>52458413
>Emperor's Children
I'm going to have a fun time or a really bad one. Probably both at the same time.

>>52458413
>Iron Warrior roommate
At least he's into 40k and plays the tabletop.

>>52459863
>Jesu- I mean by the Emperor, Callus why are you sitting around in the dark?

>>52460697
>Because i have I don't want to make you waste money, I can see in the dark. Also it's bad for the planet if you use too much energy.

>>52458413
>Night Lord roommate
Finaly batman is real
and kills people
FUCK YES

>World Eaters
H-hey dude. I'm moving out. No, actually I won't be taking my things. You can have them.

>>52460702
>Yeah, but why? Don't you have to get up early to venerate the Emperor? You were just kinda standing there.

>>52460767
>I also do not require sleep and I was cleaning. I also have baked you supper friend.

>>52458413
Death Guard
It's fine except for the space aids I'm gonna get.

>>52460787
remember Nurgle loves you <3

>plague marines

Well, this is going to get real disgusting real fast.

>>52460742
>RRRRR WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP MOVING OUT OR GOING TO LIVE ABROAD!? THIS PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH MY HEAD HURTS! I'M SO LONELY! >: (

I'd have to help him overthrow things and ruin people's days just because ...go alpha legion I guess.

>>52460786
>Also I replaced all of the kitchen utensils with custom made master crafted ones.

>>52460833
>Oh wow, you sure are a great room mate!
>It's fine friend, it's just my service to the community!

>>52460833
>You still kept the old ones, right? I don't feel comfortable using this butter chainknife. Or this power oven mitt.

>>52460864
The downside is that he's constantly setting off the smoke detectors.

>>52460873
At least the whole block loves him and he's a pillar of the community.

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>>52460795
It's like living with a randomly assigned roommate in college. Hope you like slightly higher-than-background humidity and the rich scent of onion.

>Word Bearers
Good thing I'm a fan. Especially after he finds out that his entire world is the creation of GW. He'll need a hug after that.

>Dark Angels
Uh... Okay?

>Dark Angels
He kills me in order to protect the conspiracy when I ask why he constantly leaves the toilet seat up.

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>>52458413
>Iron hands
Better delet this.

>Raptors
I never see him but he keeps asking me if I want to go camping.

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>Carcharodons
Stays in his room alot, till the neighbours dog began shitting on our lawn. It got... bloody....

I have to get used to waking up each morning with more cybernetic bits.

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That pretty bad for me, because I take forever when I'm in the bathroom.

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>Alpha Legion
Whose house was it to begin with?

>>52458751
I think he's more like that roommate that uses your stuff without permission.
Less horrible, more annoying.

"Hey, where re my nachos?"
"They were gifted."

"Hey, did you use my PS4 while I was gone?"
"It was gifted"

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>>52462144
>"Sup Alpharius"
>"Oh shut up, I already told you to stop this stupid meme, I'm NOT Alpharius!"
>Or am I?

>>52458413
>ultramarines
Everything I ever wanted to acheive in life is done perfectly, although it was a hard and long journey, my ultrabro kept me going until victory was acheived. Also blue is my favorite color now and I do not understand what a challenge is anymore.

>>52458413
I say "PRAISE THE IMMORTAL EMPEROR!"

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>>52458413
He just stands there doing nothing and leaking dust out of his armour joints.

>>52458413
>Dark angel
>goes through my browser history to check if im a fallen
>kills me for heresy
K

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>Red Corsair

I find all my stuff stolen by a space marine pirate. He hides his "booty" in the guest room.

>>52458413
Seeing as how most space marines are LOLALPHA, angry, hateful, bigoted, and incapable of compromise........I either try to find a way to get him kicked out or I move. I cannot for the life of me see how a space marine from any chapter would be fun to live with, no matter what positive aspects they might have.

>>52463312
Buzzkilling faggot

>>52463312
You must be a blast at parties

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>>52463312
>Space Marines suck
>Is obviously a heretic for spreading blasphemy about the Adeptus Astartes

>black legion
Good news is, there's no imperium for him to try to overthrow. Bad news, I'm not sure if I'd be able to convince him of that. All in all, I could have picked a worse traitor legion.

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>>52458413
Get called a faggot for not being ALWAYS ANGRY, ALL THE TIME!

>>52458413
He takes the knot.

>>52458413
>ultra marine
Always reminds me how he's the best at everything. And cannot complain because it's true and the house and food have never been better

>>52458413
Pls don't ever enter your infamous rage, Blood Angel.

>>52458413
Salamanders

Bros for life achieved.

>>52460691
I don't know he might get sad if you don't play with an Iron Warrior army due to the inferiority complex they have.

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>>52458413

>think of marine chapter
Minotaurs, because they are interesting.
>check spoiler
No, not that. I'm fucked. I'm so fucked. Pls no. I'm so not ready for this.

>>52465732
Never heard of that chapter before. What's their dealio?

>>52465793
They bully other Space Marines. And are presumably the High Lords executioners, so they sport the best tech and can easily replenish losses. Think of them as the guy who shows up to a casual game with a full Skyhammer and Gladius Strikeforce and Grav out his ass. Then multiply it by grimdark, and there you go.

>>52465793

>The Minotaurs possess a reputation for being unusually xenophobic Astartes, even for the Imperium, as well as often unreliable combatants who do not work well with other Imperial military units.

>Descriptions of the Minotaurs of old are of a force of berserkers that made war with savage abandon and eschewed all contact with other military forces.

>Furthermore, on the rare occasion of the Chapter serving alongside brother Adeptus Astartes, the Minotaurs have displayed such open contempt that all manner of recriminations have ensued, up to and including the fighting of duels and other low level hostilities. It is often reported that the Minotaurs are disdainful of all other subjects of the Imperium and that they radiate a malign intensity that makes even the boldest Imperial general fearful of approaching them.

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>>52465880
>a reputation for being unusually xenophobic Astartes
Holy fucking shit

>>52465716
but, what would he play then?

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>>52458413
>White Scars
I now own the most radical motorcycle in the state.

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>>52460833
my sides, in orbit

>>52458413
>Noise Marine
Nothing changes.

>>52458413
>Alpha Legion
I'm going to get murdered to preserve the secrecy of whatever he's doing

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>>52468805
>implying that you weren't a sleeper agent in so deep that you belived your own cover

>>52468842
>a sleeper agent in so deep that you belived your own cover
Something something Scanner Darkly.

>>52461818
Steak nights always the same..raw. But at the very least neighbors are quiet

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>>52468591
>most rad motorcycle
>now requiring a weapons license instead of a driving license
Now just paint it red/green, and it might be the very best motorcycle ever.

>>52468505
Tyranids.

>Lamenters

We're going to get along very well.

>>52458413
>Soul Drinkers
Shit, he's probably going to get me arrested because of his attempts to stick it to Da Man.

>>52463312
Every party needs a pooper, that's why they invited you

>>52458462
>>52458566
>Pain glove intensifies

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>>52459911
Pre or post heresy? Very important distinction.

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>>52460796
Get him a kitten. Everyone loves kittens, even chaos.

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>>52468591
>state
The marine you have chosen is a disappointment to his legion.

>>52458413
>Son of malice wanting to eat me.

Jokes on you. I'm fat.

>Alpha Legion

>It started innocently enough with conversations about the nature of Trust, Identity, and who truly benefits from specific actions.
>After that he started givinge tips on acting, costume, hacking, and how to evade security.
>Now I'm sitting in a coffee shop in mainland China down the street from a naval base with two other people I've never met, but had both the hydra tattoo and knew the code words, waiting for the go signal, wondering just how I got talked into this.

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>>52458413
>So... Ahzek... can you teach me sorcery?
+No.+
>Then how's, uh... how's Magnus?
+I'm busy.+
>Oh yeah, cool, cool, I get it. It's fine.
>So... did you ever find a cure for the fle--
+I said I was busy.+
>...
>You... want some help with that, or--
+Leave or I will destroy you and use your soul for my amusement.+

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>Salamander

I like to think he would make some amazing grilled food

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>Emperor's Children

Well, I guess he's going to critique my painting... loudly. ;_;

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>>52463312

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>>52458413
>Raptors
Stuff just appears and disappears. You learn to stop thinking about the sticky notes he substitutes for conversation.

>>52473184
>>52473184
this is made at least 400% better by imagining this with the TTS VAs

>>52458413
Khârn
>"hey khârn can you help me with this heavy ass box?"
>"SURE, NO PROBLEM"

>>52458624
Same here. They're bascially just bros.

Maybe I could talk him into being my personal trainer...

>>52473376
What a great guy.

>>52460883
>KKK shows up to burn crosses on the lawn
>Bromander shows them proper firestarting techniques
>they push the issue until he realizes they're harassing fellow Imperial citizens (as he sees modern humans) over skin color instead of something real, like thoughtcrime
>proceeds to punch them to death

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>>52461721

>>52463200
>duct-tape his joints to be kind, after stuffing as much sand as you can back in
>no reaction
>live for several years with what amounts to the best 40k statue ever in your living room
>you wake up one morning to find your door broken down and three corpses in the living room, and TSbro is covered in blood, still in his original pose
>turns out assholes broke in to seal your stuff and kill you while you slept

Iron hand
>wake up missing an arm with a machine one in place
>turns out Iwas in a bad accident and lost the arm
>he did it because I helped him move in and he's a general nice guy

>>52458413
Living with a Blood Angel would be pretty rad. He'd be the best wingman. Just have to hope he doesn't fly off the handle

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>>52465481
>>52473755

>>52458413
Imperial Fists
Well, I suppose living with a 7ft musclebound Marine obsessed over military tactics, fortification and masochism isn't that different from living with anyone else in the shop. Just a little bit bigger.

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>>52458413
I am now living with a Primarch.

Except I am the Primarch.

And so are you.

>>52458413
>White Scars
We ride Harleys into the sunset.

>>52458413
>Lamenters
[TYRANID INTERRUPT] and they eat me because nothing nice can happen to the Lamenters.

>>52458413
>Thousand Sons

Yeah, "all is dust" and the dust is getting fucking EVERYWHERE

bonuses:
>doesn't need to use the fridge/bathroom, making my cooking/cleaning that much easier
>could figure out some way to use his empty armour as a resonator for a speaker or something
>turns out to be not that keen on dogs, especially wolflike ones, good thing i generally prefer cats

>>52469988
>the bleedingest of the bleeding hearts
>fun to be around

At least he would have moved out after donating all his money to Bernie and being left without rent

>>52472725
Post Heresy, I had just finished up some CSM when I posted that.

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>>52477021
Good luck.]/spoiler]

>>52458413
>Mantis Warriors
kungfu movies on the television all day and all night
>Death Spectres
what a grim asshole. Sits around all day waiting for phone calls from his "cousin"
Probably doing insider trading or something, because you know he's loaded and have no idea how
>Flesh Tearers
No_survivors.jpg
>Mentors
No idea what he does either. He's got a bunch of particle physics and advanced chemistry textbooks sitting around, but says they're all bullshit. Wanders in to see what you're doing on a regular basis. Sometimes you've come back to find him checking your work for "errors" and mentions tutoring. Never actually tutors however, although he seems to have done so in an official capacity at some point.
>Silver Skulls
No heads, but he does collect anything else. Cards from numerous games, which he doesn't play, collector's editions for games, movies, you name it. He even tells you that everything is signed. Of course, you have no way to confirm any of this, as he's glazed them all in silver and hidden them in display cases.
You're not sure he understands how collecting works.

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>>52458413
seems perfect to me

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>>52458413

Nothing good.

Alternatively, we'd get down to pulling shenanigans.

>>52477312
>shenanigans ends with a shot in the back

It's all great fun until that point.

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>>52458413
I'm not sure I would spot him being he is from the Raven Guard

>>52458413
>What happens?

He is Alpharius, so am I, hijinks ensue.

>>52477449
>>52475468
>>52473079
>>52468805
>>52462314
>>52462144
>mom's house burned down
>she needs a place to stay
>naturally she can stay with me
>weird how she seems taller than she used to be

>>52475468
How do you know you aren't already?

>>52477449
Greetings fellow Alpharius.

>>52458413
>exorcist
... not much, really?
Less chance of him attracting the ruinous powers to my building relative to other marines, I guess.

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I'd probably try helping him out with studying and stuff, maybe try convincing him to get some way to imbue me with powers of Tzeentch and the warp so we can be strong psykers together.
House might get a bit crazy with all the daemon spell familiars and such though. On the other hand, it might eventually take flight and turn into a beautiful silver tower.

>Lone Stars
It's a /tg/ made chapter. Space cowboys, White Scars descendants.
Riding robotic mega horses.

He's pretty chill, is knowledgeable of the law as fuck and can outdrink anyone I know. Don't touch his revolver bolt pistols if you know what's good for you

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>>52477702
>revolver bolt pistols

>>52460241
>never home cause he's purging heretics.

>>52458413
>Red Corsairs
We go commit piracy.

>Minotaurs
I have no idea where he picked up that Porsche given he doesn't seem to have a job.