ITT: Times when YOU were >that guy

>>52422087
>speak like an Ork
>while playing Ork
>wasted half my army
>to kill this one space marine
>gave a hearty WAGGHHHHH upon kill said space marine

>>52422259
that's not being that guy, that's being vindictive, which isn't that bad unless you make a habit of it

One time I frogposted on a Tahitian scuba-diving imageboard.

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>>52422087
>Playing homebrew system friend spent a lot of time on
>Misread the tone by a longshot, mostly due to GM being a joker, one of the other party members being a serious player, and one being a straight up edgelord complete with "can I get hidden blades from assassin's creed" tier questions for every shopkeep
>Other two were pretty much fine, though forgettable
>Get so fed up dealing with "I'm [insert edgetastic name here] and I use my sword to kill my enemies" and "I'm in character, and won't be out of character until the game is over" that I just start hogging the spotlight so that I don't have to hear either of them bicker about shit
>Helps that character could take a heavy beating, unlike them, and was half as smart as them too, so nobody called it out of character
>Eventually kamikaze-strangelove a large monster into a death wall, get killed
>Two sessions after that, the game ends because life
I don't regret it at all

Fuck off, frogposter.

>>52422087
I cheated at a magic prerelease once if that counts. Nobody suspected, and I didn't get caught so I'm not exactly sure if it counts as being "that guy" but it is a scummy thing I did related to /tg/.

My default mode is "that guy".

>>52422087
One time, I got pizza for everyone.

>>52422259
I don't think that's That Guy at all. You're role playing.

That said, I've always spoken like my Orks when playing, and maybe I'm just hoping that's not a That Guyism.

>>52422259

This is basically every Ork player I've ever seen.

They're always morbidly obese and smell like an armpit factory and they always lose but they have so much fun doing it.

The second session of my first campaign ever involved a bath house.

I was the DM.

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>playing generic D&D 5e
>decide to make a skeleton bard with a trumpet
>named Mr. Skeltal
>Mr. Skeltal wants to look human
>enlist the help of two other PCs
>find a wanted serial killer
>kill him and skin him so we can tan his hide to make a flesh suit for me
>realize none of us know how to tan human flesh
>cast Speak With Dead and Zone of Truth on the now flayed serial killer
>ask him if he has any advice
>"yeah, I know a guy"
>go to his professional flesh tanner
>"your friend sent us"
>get a flesh suit
>rest of the players are looking at us with disgust
Pic unrelated

>play first game ever
>make edgy assassin character
>roleplay him with a deep angsty voice
>"I sit in the corner"
>"This is just like Skyrim!"
>"I loot the corpses."
>"Can't we just murder him?"

Master, Arvin, everyone else: I apologize. If you happen to read this please forgive me, I didn't know better.

>Friend asks me to join a new DnD 4e campaign he's starting
>Lolk, friendo
>Make a human wizard
>Wizard's name is Honky Shanks
>Honky's lifelong dream was to be a clown, but is forced into wizarding since he comes from a prominent wizard family
>Takes up the life of a adventuring clown after having a midlife crisis and going crazy
>Carries a bag of holding that has nothing but human noses in it
>Each nose is enchanted to honk
>Makes awful puns while honking his and other people's noses
He was a fun character to play.

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>>52424498
i'd wanna party with you three

>>52422087
The first time I played a table top game with a group of people I was a bit of that guy, mainly out of nerves and not knowing what to do. After a few sessions I got better about it.

>>52422491
that's not a frog its a devious devil

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>3.5
>join a game that needed a chair filled
>ok with the dm a skeleton cleric
>necromancer of course
>endgoal of equality for sentient monsters/undead
>party sets fire to an inn 'accidentally' on the way out
>leave town after run in with guards who are convinced my skeleton-ness is a clever ruse and try to arrest me for pranking when i lost my mask
>party meets me out of town, get mask back and take in young girl npc as a ward/servant >because she's now homeless and jobless after inn-fire
>white knight of the party takes issue with mr.bones getting the girl, draws weapon on me
>ONE other party member backs him up
>a few skeletons and zombie ogres later
>allogrenow
>stomp their shit in
>spare them because i'd never that guy hard enough to pc kill
>we go on our way

>Friend generously decides to run a pathfinder game for me and a mutual friend
>We avoid plot responsibilities until they bite us in the ass
>GM introduces a GMPC catgirl healer because neither of us are spellcasters and are secretly being inept in combat on purpose
>She starts acting shy and waifuish towards our PC's
>We silently decide that kinda shit ain't flyin' and start adding gay romantic subtext between our characters, completely ignoring aforementioned catgirl waifu.
>Campaign ends 3 sessions in after my rogue dies
>He passes away in the arms of his warrior friend, revealing the affections he held secret for so long, tears streaming down the warriors face as he swears to avenge his true love's death
>Catgirl GMPC just stands their awkwardly
>GM friend is fuming for the next few days

The whole game was kind of a "FUCK YOU" to how a normal game should run, but thankfully it had no lasting effects on either friendship.

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>>52425190
you and your friend are my heroes.

>>52422259

How are you being that guy? You took the ork path to "victory"

>>52425245
terrible thing was the campaign was 100% tailored to us, including the story and anthropomorphized animal race waifus (furries lol)

We were legit just being contrarian cunt "That Guy"s to the dude because we wanted to go against what was expected of us.

I don't wanna excuse that,
Even though it was fuckin' hilarious in action.

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>>52422087

I've been needing to get this off my chest for years.

>in college
>invited to play 3.5 by strangers from next building over
>party is the DM's three female housemates, playing a pretty standard barbarian/cleric/paladin set
>roll up doppleganger rogue, thanks to level adjustment have literally no combat utility
>but excellent at stealing loot and lying about it
>rob other party members blind, repeatedly
>DM warns me that they're considering teamkilling me
>begin bringing weed and booze every game night
>party entirely forgets teamkill plan
>i continue to fuck them over in every way possible, using disguise and bluff to allay suspicion in character
>DM kills my character in random encounter
>barbarian kills my second character after i start a fight immediately after rolling him, still salty about losing my doppleganger rogue
>DM kills my next character in dungeon crawl
>my fourth character tries to betray the party and leave them to die in the dungeon, also brutally slain by party
>i stop showing up or responding to invitation texts

What's really shameful about this is that I managed to have a two-week fling with the cleric player a year or so later. Did not end well. Why the hell she even gave me the chance, I will never know.

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>>52425442
>invited to play D&D with three college-age girls
>decide to antagonise them and act like a dick
da fuck is wrong witchu?

>>52425551

I can't even blame it on autism. My best explanation is that I was sleeping an average of 4 hours a night and was fucked up on a variety of drugs the rest of the time.

>>52425442
I honestly dont understand what kind of a person brings weed and alcohol but then tries to steal from people in game. My players dont even bring their own drinks let alone drinks for others, honestly anon I really don't get what kind of bizarre turbo autist you must be

>>52422491
Fuck out of here, that's Zorak. It even says it on the file name, dumbass.

>>52422087
>with group
>levelling up before we start the session
>group starts looking at spells
>guy reads out specs for pass without trace
>clearly interested
>i say "i've already got that one"
>awkward laughter
>guy looks to pick a different spell

Not sure what was going through my head that night, I don't make an effort to act that douchey.

>Playing a new 3.5 campaign, GM new to GMing, players new to DnD, only one other experienced player (who is also a That Guy)
>Decide to make a warlock, make jokes about how I know how terrible blasty wizards are
>This has been an ongoing joke since forever with GM, since they only ever play evocation-focused wizards if they pick a spellcaster at all
>Things happen, other That Guy does shitty things and kills the entire party, we reboot without his problematic ass
>I keep making jokes about blasty wizards the entire time, GM getting frustrated, says that a non-blasty wizard isn't nearly as effective as an evoker
>My eyes gleam with nothing but an urge to show them wrong
>Given choice to make new character after the reboot, I make a wizard.
>Conjuration, banned Evocation and Enchantment, picked Abrupt Jaunt instead of a familiar. Teleporting as an immediate action whenever attacked= can't be hit, ever.
>Grease and Glitterdust make quick work of everything, debuffs and necromancy all over. Alacritous Cogitation and we get a few huge loads of gold by doing stupid shit means I can cast any spell I know once a day, and I essentially have every non-evoc/non-illusion spells possible
>As soon as I hit level 5, grab Spontaneous Divination, more spontaneous power for meee
>Hit level 6, start taking assorted levels in Master Specialist, Mage of the Arcane Order
>Rod of Reach spell with Shivering Touch, abusing Celerity every round I don't win initiative
>Finally, Archmage.

I just hit level 16 and the GM doesn't know how to handle my character and I kinda wish I could just start blasting things. I've got Arcane Sight permenancied, my own hidden base, perpetual mindblank, Celerity with a custom Third Eye that counteracts daze 3/day, and just generally horrible. I don't even need the Reach rod. Next level I'm getting Time Stop as an SLA twice a day, and I even prepared a Greater Empower rod to use with it.

They were a brand new GM when they started, and I've ruined them.

>>52425606
I will bregrudgingly accept that reason for your poor judgement.

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>home brew SCP campaign
>playing intel/security agent
>site administration up our ass, other player who plays as one of my partners decides to suck up to the boss
>boss responds to our compliance by getting rid of our funding, seizing our resources, and refusing tips on obvious rats in the facility
>my agent gets pissed, gets a night stick and takes it to one of the bought out staff members
>cave his face in
>get detained by other security staff, get shafted by administration some more

This campaign is too real

>>52425719
he's to op, not to you

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Not sure if That Guy or not but one time I had enough of the other players dicking around and wasting time uselessly by being indecisive iditots who constantly made bad choices and took wrong directions, so I took the reins and railroaded us on the DM's quest. Straight up just forced the entire party to follow the plot by answering for all of us and making all our decisions so we can get somewhere and do something.

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>3.5
>I'm a rogue, so is a friend, other friend is a Barb
>We don't do shit, typical murder hobos
>dm tries to get us in order by introducing fully optimized NPC parties
>surewhatever.png
>we shit around, kill shit and get drunk along the way, burning houses down and separating families
>still no plot relevance so we continue to fuck off for sessions at a time
>dm keeps adding optimized NPC parties
>Barb finds if fishy that all of these badass people are trying to help us for no reason
>other rogue and I agree, let's fucking kill every last one of them
>I take the bard out, Of Mice and Men style
>except I made a sour deal with Death so I sacked his soul to save myself from becoming a complete skeleton
>Other rogue goes to kill the NPC monk
>He gets his shit knocked, as the monk proceeds to break his back like Bane
>Monk runs away
Barb subsequently buys a Collar of Mind Control, tricks the Druid into wearing it.
And that's how we made the DAM have an annuirism.

>>52422087
>Join a game of 3.5 as an artificer
>We're all teenagers, I'm the edgiest on of us all
>Ranger is special, has a spirit wolf, custom named sword
>He's the DM's best friend
>Get tired of the Ranger being the center of attention, and decide to target his waifu
>Her name was illyria, but I kept calling her Aloria to fuck with the Ranger
>DM gets noticably upset as a relay my plan to him, but lets me do it anyway
>Lure his love interest into my lab, and draw my wants of magic missile
>turns out she is a much higher level than me
>also has a magic item that gives her a permanent shield effect, magic my wands useless
>procede to scamper around like a bitch, throwing various reagents at her to no effect as she casts various damaging spells, whittling me down
>the chase ends with me running into my pantry, and I nervously turn to face her, as I'm at a dead end
>She snarls at me, furious that I tried to kill her, and that I lied about her love being in trouble to do so
>Realize that she's standing just opposite of the doorway as me, roll a bluff check to pretend I'm searching for gold as an attempt to "bribe" her
>As I do so, I ask the DM if closing the door would count as a swift action
>He says yes, expecting me to die anyway
>Find my scroll of explosive runes, cast it on the door, slam it shut, and run behind my bags of potatoes to hide.
>Explosion rolls max damage, she dies, I get knocked out, wake up a couple hours later
>I procede to reanimate her into a flesh golem, infusing a soul through some homebrew, as the DM was tired at this point, and instilled a similar personality that answered to Aloria.
>Various magical items to hide the smell and look of her damaged, reanimated corpse to cover for myself.
>Told the group she can't remember anything, Ranger is heartbroken trying to restore her memory.

1/2

>>52427118
2/2

>Campaign continues, we're defending a city from a demon invasion
>No one knows what happened but the Fighter's player, because I had to tell someone because I'm so edgy
>Rogue retards himself into getting a geaes put on him by the rulers of the city and ragequits
>Call him and eachother faggots as the game breaks down into teenage dickwaving
>Rogue, the youngest of us and the Cleric's younger brother, starts freaking out and tells about how he was molested as a baby and "dick-sucking talk upsets him"
>Speechless and rogue leaves
>People calm down except for the Fighter and Ranger, who start bickering again
>Fighter gets pissed, quits the campaign, and tells the Ranger what I did.
>Ranger goes quiet, and then screams at me for over 15 minutes, nonstop.
>Some threats, some prospects of his hatred, but mostly unintelligible rage
>I alternate from trying not to piss my pants from laughter and fear
>Ranger quits, campaign dies
>Turns out the Ranger was based on the main character from his and the DM's Fantasy novel series they were writing, and my act of edginess ruined the character for them.

I still don't know why I did it. 15 year old me was a dick

>>52422087
>playing with a retarded character, and i mean literally, he's dumb
>getting tired of him by the fourth session, still having some fun but i don't like the character
>start baiting death and forcing GM to save me because it's still too early to allow deaths
Not sure if i'm that guy, but i may possibly become one if this keeps going.
What should i do? My current plan is too keep playing and baiting death until i'm allowed to die and create a new character.

>>52427704
Why not tell your GM that you're not having fun with your character, and you kind of want to switch over to a different one?

>Be playing game that starts at 10pm
>Sessions regularly last until 2-3am
>I end up getting easily annoyed after about 1am because of reasons.
>Haven't been kicked yet.
I must be doing something right.

>>52427790
There's four characters in the party and we're all foreigners.
One of these characters needs me because we're from the same country and she doesn't speak the local language but i do.
I don't want to abandon her as i'm afraid it would create drama.
My character is also a huge part of the story now and if he just leaves it will be kind of weird.

>>52427833
Oh. Well, that sucks.

Maybe you could pull the GM aside or send them an email and together the two of you can work on a way where you can slowly phase out your current character instead? After all, you could have a native to that country who speaks the other PC's language...

>>52427845
She has a uncle who could teach her the language but it would take months in game that we don't have.
I do have a reason to leave IC, but it's kinda ankward to have that talk with the GM and others, specially since they're all hyped as fuck and really enjoying their characters.
I would rather just die in a honorable way but i will consider it.

>>52427190
>>52427118
They sound like fags too desu. Never have one character fromt and center if not everyone is in and agrees to it.

>>52427903
Why bot talk to the dm and plan that honourable death?

Reminds me of the time I tried to be diplomatic and even though my character has +15 diplomacy I ended up stumbling over words and fucking up royally. So I tried to rules lawyer and say that my high diplomacy shouldn't be affected by my IRL ineptitude. Got into a argument with the GM over it and both of us became salty afterwards.

>>52428570
If you got your point across, that should still work. You may have fucked it up, but content is what matters. You actually tried despite it, and you have a good modifier for diplomacy.

You were not that guy, unless you were a jackass about it. It honestly sounds like the GM was more like that guy.

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No specific examples but

>play obvious references to anime characters
>play grotesquely edgy mary sues
>shoehorn my fetish into games
>dominate the story, trying to run the campaign off the rails
>argue with the gm to get my way
>insult and belittle other players
>bring my girlfriend to sessions even when she's not playing
>almost never bring snacks
>sometimes get drunk and rowdy

But I'm the best writer/actor in my group so they keep inviting me back

>>52429051
Ah, you're a complete prick.

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>>52426349
But remember, Wizards are terribly blasty!
>Necromancy is bae.

>playing dnd 3.5 on roll20
>100 year old psychic warrior elan loli
>play as an an-cap meme personified
>constantly find ways to make my psionic powers broken and fuck with the plot and Lore
>main mode of attack is growing big and face sitting enemies to death
>incite a war between 2 countries and get party to betray starting nation
>cause party paladin to leave group since he refuses to betray party; he sabotages the party and becomes antagonist
>get an airship and turn it into a traveling restaurant/brothel named Pizza Whore
>fill airship with horny snake girl prostitutes
>try to keep war going and growing to benefit from with goals to franchise out Pizza Whore and become a mega corporation
>tried to convince GM to let me do a rules legal metamorphosis fuckery that would do the equivalent damage of a nuclear bomb with my psicrystal

Sadly my computer bricked and I wasn't able to continue.

>>52424445
>They're always morbidly obese and smell like an armpit factory and they always lose
Ya fo-got big. We'z tha biggest too ya git.

An' we alwayz win cuz orkz is best

>>52429051
>play obvious references to anime characters
>play grotesquely edgy mary sues
>best writer
I don't think that's how this works, unless your party is actually severely brain damaged.

>>52430239
That's how he thinks since he's That Guy.

I once said I would join a friend's campaign, and I did for two sessions. I didn't like the way he DMed whatsoever, and it was hard for me to keep interest. I knew this would be a problem for me and the rest of the table if I continued to come just because I was friends with the DM, so I told him I wouldn't be attending anymore. I feel bad for being unable to be in the campaign and supporting my friend, but it is better that I got out before my presence would actually harm it because I couldn't stand it.

>>52427903
It would definitely be best to talk to the DM about wanting a new character instead of just trying to die in battle. Maybe you can get crippled and have him turn NPC, getting you freed up to roll a new character and not have to worry about a social void?

>>52431922
That isnt that guy at all, anon. You handled it pretty well from the sound of that, even if it did disappoint other players. Sounds pretty understandable.

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>join space exploration game
>no space exploration
>everyone is on full murderhobo mode
>start leaving mid-game with horseshit excuses
>leave last game with no excuse
>never return

In retrospect, I should have at least told them the game ain't my thing, but also I don't give a shit and I hate all of them for things I thought I couldn't hate a man over.

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>>52422087

>>52424928
>Doesn't know about D&D Jester Lore
>Can literally perform so hard deities ask you yo make them laugh to earn shitloads of cash
>Can hide dealy spells in with jokes and jests, most famous was Diarmunds jest where he accidentally cast Power word kill and murdered everyone in a room, but it's okay because they thought he told a joke so funny everyone laughed to death
>Jester Joke battles/performances
>Juggling allows to throw back items thrown at you
>IMMUNE TO THE VERY CONCEPT OF INSANITY BECAUSE YOU ARE MANTLING THE POWERS OF CHAOS AS YOU JEST YES, YOU COULD WALK INTO RY'LEH AND PERFORM AND MAKE A BAZINGA JOKE THAT MAKES AZATHOTH LAUGH EVERYTHING INTO A COSMIC JOKE
>Draw whatever the fuck you want from a Deck of many things
Never fuck with a D&D jester.

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>Be me
>In high school
>Spend months making fantasy setting
>I still thought TVtropes was cool so I wanted to subvert every fantasy trope imaginable
>Elves are lame and overdone so I decide to make a race alike in all ways and call it "Feykin"
>First session
>Players wagon gets its wheel broken while fighting off feral dwarves when a mysterious not!elf comes to their aid
>"The feykin tells you that he can help transport the goods if you will make a pact to protect his meadow from the imperialistic steampunk halflings"
>Player cracks the biggest shit-eating smirk
>As what's so funny
>Player says "I ask him if he's trustworthty, or only feykin' it!"
>Everyone laughs
>Feykin/faking puns are made literally every time the character opens his mouth
>I start screaming at the players in fullblown autismorage
>SHUT UP! SHUT UP! IT'S NOT FUNNY! FUCK YOU!
>Everyone says this is why I'm no fun to play with and leave

I count my blessings every day that I chilled the fuck out by college because I'd still have no friends if I was the little shit I was back in high school

>>52435774
... It's kind of funny.

>flash back to my early highschool self
>first 3.5 game
>have a concept for a rogue-like character who uses ghost-themed magic for roguish purposes and manipulates soulstuff
>literally own none of the books and my only system knowledge is based on a terrible understanding of the online SRD and fucking D&Dwiki, of all things
>decide I want to create a homebrew of this character concept anyway
>DM lets me for some reason
>create a horrible, terrible, vomit-inducing mary sue character
>"My father is the god of the dead!"
>Due to my shit understanding of the system, my homebrew is actually pretty underpowered
>Literally have no Con score
>Have ridiculously high movement speed though
>I try to hog the spotlight with my mary sue-ness and am generally just an insufferable twat
>Flash forward, the party is fleeing from a troll in a wagon
>Due to their justified collective hate for me, the rest of the party conspires to use my body as an improvised weapon and attack the troll
>Get thrown out of the carriage
>This itself almost kills me
>Carriage races off into the distance, I'm stuck at half health with a troll
>Remember my absurd movement speed
>Fucking catch back up with the carriage because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
>A bunch of other mishaps ensue as a result of my shit character
>Decide suicide is the only option
>Another player playing an assassin helps my character kill himself by creating a shadow noose
Whew

>>52435846
>Ghost-themed magic for roguish purposes and manipulates soulstuff
Honestly, you're talking about a duskblade with maybe a bit of incarnate... And then some Soulcaster. It wouldn't actually be that terrible, excepting perhaps a lack of BAB. A lot more manageable as a gestalt, though.

>>52435774
I think you're feykin this story.

>>52427833
Ask the GM if your current character can become an NPC so you can play a character you're more interested in instead.

>>52429767
That sounds like it certainly was quite the game.

>>52434881
DIE YOU MONSTER

>>52435965
Directly after this whole fiasco, the DM told me to try playing a psion to represent my character idea.
Honestly, though, if I were ever to try and recreate the concept in 5e, I would just play an Arcane Trickster and refluff it. Plenty of enchantment and illusion spells are already pretty ghostly-seeming, and the invisible mage hand from legerdemain is absolutely very ghostly.

>>52435774
That's what you get for faking feykin weren't elves.

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>>52422087
>D&D
>Be a really shitty Rouge
>Once tried to raid a cart with friend
>Get caught
>Try to bluff my way out
>Roll a 1
>Friend and I get sent to jail
>Group spends the next two sessions trying to break us out
>I can't do shit cause I'm in jail
>Still yell recommendations on their actions
I was a REALLY shitty Rouge

>Another time fighting some monster
>It needs one more hit, and it's basically dead
>Group is tried of fighting it
>My turn
>Have an invisibility cloak which gave me automatic 20s when I wear it
>Waste it doing a useless grapple instead of just stabbing it
>Fail at the actual killing blown
>Whole group groans

>>52422087

I had a character with a British accent so I spoke in-character with a British accent for the entire campaign.

In retrospect that was probably extraordinarily irritating.

>>52425606
topkek

I would play with you

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>>52422087
Well, there was that time when I was rule lawyering about why I should be able to put a baneblade on a skyshield landing pad for an hour or so.
Around the same time I was also considering fielding chapter master Smashfucker and pretty much all the forgeworld cheese within the category "imperium of men".
The only reason I didn't actually did any of the above was because of money.

>>52422472
kek

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>>52422087
>Wife wants to learn Go
>I haven't played in years, but am hype to do so
>Wife buys Go board so I can teach her
>Teach her bare minimum mechanics
>Proceed to grind her into dust without telling her anything else
>She declares game bullshit, never plays again.

I've gotten better at teaching various games since then, but she still gives me shit about that nearly a decade later.

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>>52424498
>skeleton bard with a trumpet

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>>52422503

>>52425190
No homo
but just a titch

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>>52425442
This is some real transcendental that-guyism

>>52437791
kek

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>>52425190
>I know you're really sad over the rogue, Warrior
>I just want you to know, I'm here for you if there's anything I can do
>anything at all
>I can lend you a sympathetic ear if you want
>I can suck your dick if it'll help
>you like anal? I can do anal
>well, I tried

>>52438003
But Skeletons don't have lips.

>>52425551
pussy

>First ever time in a TTRPG
>Pathfinder (bad decision in hind slight)
>Have a lot of difficulty making a character from a gameplay perspective
>Playing not to die so I don't have to go through the laborious and boring process of making another character, and I was vocal about this with the group
>Another player acquires knock out gas in a vial in session 3
>Session 6, we find out that someone is a traitor, but we don't know who it us.
>I suggest that it could be the GMPC, but the other players ignore me
>The player from earlier suddenly uses the knock out gas and kills me and the third player
>Massive argument
>I give the GM an ultimatum of 'it's me or him'
>GM kicks the the other player since he only attended the first and third session
>Turns out the GMPC was the traitor after all
In spite of this, all the other sessions in the campaign went without a hitch

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>>52429051
>obvious references to characters
i played a fighter flavored into shovel knight.

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>>52427791

I once brought a fucking steak to the table, but no one wanted any. So I ate it in front of all of them by myself. Also had a 64oz cup with me too.

I wondered why no one wanted any, and have since brought stuff like chips or other snacks like that.

>>52422503
I've done it multiple times and even as recent as the last three Modern Masters draft I had.

First one traded cards post draft with a buddy, second and third I did that + import cards from the previous drafts pool and prize packs.

>guys make your characters
>bring Geralt from the Witcher Wikipedia page because I was too bored to put any thought in it

I argued for half an hour with the DM because I wanted a bear animal companion but was too low level. I tried to convince him a small bear would do. He caved in but gave it the stats of a wolf

>>52422087
>5e cos
>play the only serious character
>group includes anime character and edgelord with an anime weapon
>group does nothing but dick around
>get annoyed at me for actually roleplaying and gathering information before running dick-first into a pike formation of vampire spawn
>complain about it in a joking manner
>get branded That Guy>>52422259

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>>52438821
I'd say she was closer to >pic related
Both of us are furfags and she was an apprentice shaman from some forest village we stumbled upon

But in that moment we sacrificed all our degeneracy for the purest and manliest form of love with no regrets.

I'm honestly not sure if I that guy'd
>Playing evil campaign for like 6 months
>Former cleric of a good god who has since fallen and worships a demon of battle
>World has no forms of resurrection
>DM has a powerful NPC cast a geas on me to kill another PC
>Try to get out of this various ways, but the DM resists
>Eventually forced to kill the PC
>Other PC investigate and eventually find out that my character killed the other PC
>They try to kill my PC as retribution
>Through bullshit luck, my character overpowers them and kills them

At this point, everyone was dead but me. I've been called that guy for this, because I did kill the party, but I feel that my hand was forced, and that I really had no alternative.

>>52444944
It depends on what the reason behind the geas was. Still, I'm surprised they didn't expect the game to end in infighting since it was an evil campaign.

>>52444988
Both myself and the person I had to kill defiled a temple of a good god. She escaped, but my character got caught.

>>52445019
Well, okay, it does sound like that's how the story played out, so it's not like you got in that situation on purpose.

>>52425043
I remember as a kid, some Looney Tunes episodes would do a Red Skelton gag where a skeleton comes out of the closet and then a red skeleton comes out behind and yells "RED SKELTON". That horrified me as a kid because I didn't know who Red Skelton was and I thought it was a freshly removed skeleton still covered in blood.

So thanks for triggering me, shitlord.

>>52445053
Yeah. It just sucks because everyone in that group is now pissed at me because I ended an otherwise pretty fun campaign on a pretty down note. I still talk to most of the players, but the DM who forced me to kill the player doesn't talk to me anymore because I killed his campaign.

>>52445085
This was 100% the DM's fault desu

You went out of your way to avoid inter-party conflict even when the DM forced the geas on you. You're probably better off not playing with him anymore if that's the kind of shit he pulls.

>>52445085
>Yeah, because of this Geas, you have to kill a team member
>No, you may not dispute it

TPKs the entire party

>How DARE you do exactly as I said, then defend yourself?!?!
>Unfriend, unsub, *whiny bitch action*.

In all seriousness, the DM sounds like a bit of a dick, especially when you did your best to avoid what they specifically caused. You were the scape goat, and that is always terrible.

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>friend plays paladin that kills innocents for lols
>but he donates money to the church so it's all good, right?
>his character is forced to leave after the party's ex-assassin goes ballistic when he kills people in front of him
>makes new character
>CG sorcerer
>that shocking grasps civilians after inciting them to panic
>and bashes in a child's skull with a rock
>eventually kills himself by calling lightning underwater
>not a tear was shed
>bring it up with him ooc that all his characters tend to be dicks
>"don't worry anon, this next one is great!"
>comes back with CE half orc warlock with a blade for an arm
>commits genocide
>tried to enslave party members
>tries to kill people when he doesn't get his way
>the ex-assassin hatches a plan to kill the half orc warlock
>the warlock gets incinerated by a dragon and because the ex-assassin could've stabilized him but didn't
>tfw I am the ex-assassin's player
Was I That Guy for planning to kill him and letting him die?

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>>52446978
>>"don't worry anon, this next one is great!"
>>comes back with CE half orc warlock with a blade for an arm

>>52429767
>sadly
Thank god, you mean

>>52446978
>Was I That Guy for planning to kill him and letting him die?
>Was I that guy for letting a genocidal maniac who tried to enslave party members and killed people on a whim die
You shouldn't need anonymous internet support to know the answer to this question.

>Killed the party's favorite character because he kept getting in the way of my plans
>character was annoying and was borderline that-guy using diplomacy and bribery and non-combat skills to trivialize and cheese fights anyway treating D&D like its fucking undertale
>tried setting up an elaborate trap to get rid of him, but forgot he was a good swimmer
>wound up using dm fiat to just kill him anyway with monsters in the water
>I enjoyed it. No regrets
Of course the game fell apart after that. I might try running another game in the future.

>>52438844
>itsmagic.jpeg

>>52444944
Personally, I would've left if the GM forced me to fight and kill party members.

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>>52422087
I'm about to become That DM

>players go to tavern
>everyone getting drunk
>in a 5 man party, 4 of them seduce the tavern wenches
>the last guy nat 1'd the persuasion roll
>his character returns to his room despondently
>feel bad for him
>the woman he hit on earlier shows up to his room later on for fade to black
>players complain that it's not fair that he got some despite shit rolls
>all I say is "nat 1's always come back to haunt you"
>the wench the bad luck player laid got knocked up, and when they return in several months she has a bunch of kids running around

>>52448115
I'm guessing you weren't playing with RL friends, correct?

>>52448189
It becomes a bad thing when his bastard son shows up later on and tries to kill him for leaving his mother.

Or if the woman he woo'd becomes yandere for him and tries to kill the party and capture him for a shotgun wedding.

>>52448227
>It becomes a bad thing when his bastard son shows up later on and tries to kill him for leaving his mother.
I need this as a character concept now, except with a twist. Which is the least hackneyed?
>Character the bastard thinks is his father actually isn't
>Bastard's mother pulled a bed trick, so the father never knew
>Bastard and mother was secretly funded by the adventurer but never told anyone because she would be targeted otherwise
>Bastard and mother were assumed dead, adventurer is elated to see his child and horrified he never knew

>>52448227
You've actually given me an idea for something

>one of the PC's backstory was that she had left the village after twin mages destroyed it
>what if the twin mages which destroyed are actually the son and daughter of the first PC, grew up over time and went back in time to trigger the events of the campaign?
Or is that too hamfisted? At first it felt like a bolt of insipiration but now it feels too cliche and "what a tweest!" worthy

>>52448420
>Bastard and mother was secretly funded by the adventurer but never told anyone because she would be targeted otherwise
>Bastard and mother were assumed dead, adventurer is elated to see his child and horrified he never knew

These two together
>father funds mother and child
>they survive a bad situation, but father thinks they r kill
>kid comes after some time after father because he thought he stopped caring

>>52448438
I pray you don't have players like me. Because then they won't have fun and you will neither. Because of my autism.

>>52448483
>"What do you mean you couldn't find us? Why didn't you use any divination?"
>"Son, do you know what the band your mother told you to always wear DOES?"

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>>52422087
>Play NE wizard
>One of the oldest members of the party
>Constantly going around using mind-control and alchemy to solve the party's problems
>Wizard is dick to everyone most of the time, but it is usually the one that saves the day
>Slowly start driving most of the party towards evil
>Self-righteous LG elf caught wizard getting serious into necromancy stuff
>Have to kill him
>He rolls a new character and joins as an assasin minion
>Time goes on
>Wizard gets killed
>The group goes on a quest to revive wizard

The whole group hated me for most of the early game, but it was one of the most enjoyable characters that I have played.

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>>52422087
>player brings his GF to the group
>she immediately starts eyefucking me
>touches my feet with hers under the table
>meet up with her after and make out
>have sex with her numerous times

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>>52424498
>yeah I know a guy

>>52448189
That is pretty good.

>>52422491
that frog is more sinister than you realize

>>52449862
Good as in good That DMing or good as in a good choice in story?

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>>52422087
>first time playing d&d
>choose assassin because saw one of the pics that he looked like assassins creed
>literally name him altair
>dm is an asshole when it comes to dming
>2 hours in we are trying to get into a guard tower
>i go full /pol/ on our paladin and convince him to murder a guard without even asking
>a little drawing comes out of his pocket
>its from his little daughter
>we just killed the father of a four year old girl and the paladin feels so guilty both in game and irl
>tell him its too late to go back
>hear someone running/skipping around the corner by the back entrance
>pull out my daggar
>thrust arm around the corner with out looking and realize i just chopped off the guards 4 year old daughter's arm off
>shes screaming and the fucking paladin takes out his crossbow and kabobs her to the fucking wall
>i keep the arm with me for no goddamn reason
>we enter the back entrance of the tower and see that the reason why the daughter was there is that there was a birthday party for the fucking guard and we just murdered him and one of his daughters
>we get caught and were about to be let go but one of the guards inspects me and finds a severed arm
>so me, the paladin, and the bard who didnt do much get executed
>mfw this is my first time playing and i got two players killed whove been playing with said characters for a couple months now
>the dm didnt even like the bard at all
>mfw

>>52424498
kek i like you

>>52424928
I...I kinda wanna draw that and make that a thing somehow. I hope you don't mind me taking this. Many thanks, anon. Keks will be heard.

>>52450779
Why the fuck do DM's let something major happen like that when the new guy fucks everything up, sometimes even just fucking off to never play again?

I got a story but its more for that guy, not being that guy

>>52425442
you couldve gotten a decent foursome out of it but you just had to go full autismo didnt ya?

Started playing dnd with friends and no one even noticed or knew we had mixed up 3.0 and 3.5 books. I think we had both of a players handbook. Caused issues. Basically became a rules lawyer in an effort to make the game work, and that was good and fine with friends.
Problem was first convention where I was an ass continuously trying to correct the dm on rules and stats he was getting wrong. I'd only been exposed to people getting it wrong, not people changing it on purpose. Specifically remember a bigger than normal flesh golem with weird immunities. Feel like an absolute idiot whenever I remember that game.

>>52450973
he just did it for the lulz he didnt care because he knew his and his gfs character would get away scott free and wanted to see the bard die so he can convince him to make a new character, one less cringy and obsessed with wolves. either way i had fun and still played with them. the guy who made the bard keeps fucking dying EVERY SINGLE TIME a friend of ours joins us for the first time. ill tell another story if you want.

>>52449263
i hate you

>>52451142
I try to stop myself from rules lawyering too. But really, some people aren't even trying to remember any of the rules.

>>52451142
Yeah, I feel like that too. Especially since we have a few players that don't quite know how to level characters, and some mess up their base attack bonus increases when they're prestiging or anything like that, so I always get like 'how do you have a plus 16 on your reflex save'.

Then I feel like an idiot when I hear that they'd just bought and studied a tome of dexterity.

Though I tend to be rules lawyerish, mostly since the players aren't too experienced in the game, so I feel like it's my obligation to make sure they know how it works.

>>52422087
>>character was annoying and was borderline that-guy using diplomacy and bribery and non-combat skills to trivialize and cheese fights anyway treating D&D like its fucking undertale

I've never played undertale, but what's wrong with avoiding fights?

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>be 16 three years ago and cringy faggot into homestuck
>friends invite me over for 5e
>make a character a rogue because that is a class in homestuck as well that i liked the most
>all those days of rping made me a pretty good player
>help paladin whos being taken by some guards
>roll a 20 on stealth and luck and take a fucking sledgehammer out of the cart and bash one guard on the fucking head
>swing around blindly and roll a 1 hitting the paladin knocking an eye out
>guard dog is let loose and mauls the paladin nearly killing him
>second guard just so happens to be a skeleton and i slather peanut brittle on the skeleton and the guard dog bites the bones apart killing him
>be a fucking idiot and slather it on my balls hoping hed lick it off and instead mauls my testicles
>the dm says "make no balls (bones) about it" and they bring it up every single time since then
>still into hs
kill me

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>>52451543
>Homestuck
>Skeleton dumbassry
>Paladin loses eye from sledgehammer
>Peanut butter
>Filthy Frank
Everything you mentioned is terrible, you're terrible

>>52451294
it makes the quest a lot more interesting. stop being such a paladin.

>>52451677
fuck off ringot, that was three years ago.

>>52451705
>>still into hs

>>52451743
and? certainly better than bronies, undertale, and furries considering that the cancerous fandom is dying

>>52431922

What was annoying about his DMing?
Also agree that you are not that guy here at all.

>>52450779
JESUS FUCK

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>Argue with DM.
Admittedly the DM can pull some pants on head retarded stuff. Like he once had a god pretending to be a shop keeper and my necromancer found her out and the party was given the ultimatum of "worship me or die" and then the DM got pissy when my necrocleric told her to fuck off.
>Bring up rules a lot. Specially if it benefits me or the DM has it wrong.
>Play a character that seems like very obvious fap fuel. (16 ft. muscular scarred troll woman thats domineering and violent due to have the strength rivaling Orcus)
>Constantly slaughter dickhead npcs because nobody can reasonably stop me from doing it.
>Hog 50% of the rp limelight because I make up 60% of the parties power.
>Nobody knows my gender and I won't say.
>Invited a friend that makes game breaking characters.

Luckily I keep the campaign on track by constantly acting to keep things moving. I also am the only one that does flavor roleplay or act/interact with the world around me. So I haven't been kicked yet.

>>52452329
what? was it that bad for my first time?

>>52452547
More of a top kek but yeah.

If it makes you feel any better I once played a private eye in a shadowrun game set in the bayou. I had a robot waifu named patricia, wore a trench coat with assless chaps, and drove a white painters van.

we were investigating a string of grave robbing when we were attacked by the grave robing cannibal hillbillies. I tried to charm one, the roll failed and he tackled me. I tried again while he was biting my neck, by whipping it out and offering him some other meat to chew on. The roll failed and I came on his leg while he bit me and I bled to death.

>>52422087
One time I didn't use a coaster

>>52424445
My ork player friend is actually buff and manly. I've never known any other ork players personally.

>>52448115
You killed him because HE AM TALKY TOO MUCH?

You should be playing wargames.

>>52449263
And this is why you never play games with basketball Americans.

>>52453049
No, because he was being an asshole that'd just talk out every encounter and spend sessions just fucking around in an inn cooking and eating with the party instead of getting actual shit done.
He was a bad influence on the party because they wound up becoming more like him and it turned D&D into Skype with Miniatures. Fuck that, and fuck you.

>>52451677
When was Papa Franku mentioned?

>>52453269
Naw, naw. You're boring. Go play warhammer or something. You've obviously no mind for ROLE playing, and fightan gaems seems more your shtick

>>52453280
Peanut butter on balls

>>52422087
Played a Paladin in a group that was NE aligned.

>>52453342
What the fuck!? I was holding block and he still refuted me with logic? Fucking online native lag tactics ah ah ah ONLINE MESSAGEBOARDS ONLY THE SHITTY MAY APPLY

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>>52422087
>start getting into magic in HS
>first deck is self-built monogreen ramp into emrakul's crusher, not very good
>keep digging through commons at my lgs
>find 4x pic related and build a deck around them
I retired the deck after 8 consecutive wins each ending in me having infinite life and elves

>>52426101
wanting your group members to add something to the group isn't douchey anon, it means you care about your and your party's well-being. Unless you take it too far and act like a sperglord minmaxer about it

>>52453428
Literally me.

>>52453342
oh okay so it's perfectly fine when the player makes a shitty fucking scalefag fat fetish character just to derail my game

you must be a really good dm anon ;)

>>52448115
This is some dumb shit
Not everything is going to listen to diplomacy and bribes
You also sound like you're mad because you tried to railroad your players but they ignored you instead

>>52453605
>t. ive never spent more than 5 minutes worldbuilding

>>52422087
>Early game, playing a Barbarain.
>Needed a new weapon cause a living fire dog blew my sword up after it died.
>I wanted to get a weapon with special perk to it but didn't really have the cash for it.
>DM has me roleplay to convince him as the shop keep to haggle the price down.
>I basically babble about and end up annoying the shop keep until he gets mad.
>DM/Shopkeep grabs a Piercing Enhanced dagger and threatens to throw it at me if I don't get out of the store.
>O Really?
>Dick around like an asshole until the DM says that the shop keeper has thrown his dagger and I gotta make a save roll.
>Make it, lose a single point of health as the dagger still pierces my armor, now sticking out of my chest.
>"So the shop keep just threw the dagger at me?"
>"Yea."
>"And it's sticking out of my chest?"
>"Yup."
>"Ok, I walk out of the store with the dagger still in my chest."
>The two other players broke out into an infectious laughter as the DM swore a little.
>Got away with a strong weapon for free, one of the better moments of the game.

>>52453269
>Players are having a good time, enjoying character interactions, and invested in roleplaying their characters
>GM murders them because they're not going to his dungeon

>>52453791
>Players intentionally fucking around and ignoring plothooks
>dont expect bad things to happen
It's called Karma, bitch.

>>52453812
If the plothooks are ignored, then they obviously weren't all that compelling. Try not sucking or better yet, communicating with your players instead of having yourself a bitchfit.

>>52453854
Oh fuck off, you don't even play tabletop games you fucking cocksucking shitposter. Shouldn't you be posting loli anime porn in Jumpchain CYOA like the shitstain you are? >>>/qst/ pls go

>>52453878
>All that salt and mad
>"Its all the player's fault my games fail, not mine!"

>>52453961
Reading comprehension, dipshit. Yes, I did some bad things and I fucked up but it was not unjustified. Maybe if you spent like three minutes (probably longer cuz ur a stupid fuck) reading my posts you'd see what I'm talking about but you and I both know youre just here to shitpost "LE EPIC MAD SALTY MEME xDDDDD" fuck you.

>>52448115
Wait, I think I remember this story somewhere else. The monster were slimes, right?

>>52453878
Jesus I can smell you through the internet.

Ignoring plot hooks you is bad but arbitrarily killing pcs for it is hardly proportional

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>>52453988

>you and I both know youre just here to shitpost "LE EPIC MAD SALTY MEME xDDDDD"

You don't deserve anything better, frankly. Anything more than smug anime girls would be a waste of my time and wasted on you.

>>52453988
anon, this is a "times you WERE That Guy," not a "you still ARE That Guy" thread

>>52454107
requesting someone shop DSP's face on this please

>>52454016
Is this copypasta or something? If so it's al dente af

>>52453878
removing quest from /tg/ was a mistake.

>>52454107
>smug anime girls
>ever
You're as bad as he is, m8.

>>52454206
I don't know; but in the magical realm thread the player the GM killed made a greentext about it.

So if it isn't pasta the GM has a vore fetish

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>>52454357
>>52448115

>>52454357
>>52440192
>killing a character off for having FUN
Shit DM.

>>52454357

>>52440192

It'd probably be better if I just link to the Greentext instead.

>>52454506
>>52454509
>lizardfolk-hivemind

>>52427118
>>52427190
what a bunch of dick-sucking babies
that was a great thing you did

>>52429767
I'm dying

>>52453373
IT WAS FUCKING PEANUT BRITTLE NOT FUCKING PEANUT BUTTER. PEANUT BUTTER WASNT AROUND THAT TIME TILL SOME DINDU INVENTED IT USING HIS KANGZ MAGIC

>>52454506
>>52454509
He was kind of a dick but to be honest the bard seems to of missed the point of D&D If I wanted to spend time cooking and drinking and having a nice time then I dont have to pretend, I can just do that in real life but if I want to fight monsters and stuff then I need to play either tabletop or vidya. not saying you need to go full murder hobo but spending an entire session in town cooking and having a party sounds utterly pointless

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>>52455894
>>52454509
>>52454506

>DM hates that players are roleplaying
>Players convince monsters sent to fight players to party instead.
>DM is mad that DM made a decision that the DM doesn't like.
>Revenge player kill.
>DM villain cus fetish

That there is a farm-grade, pure bred, pile of bullshit right there anons. Don't feed the trolls.

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>>52422087
>Game starting this weekend
>4 characters
>GM went overboard on effort
>Think, I'll do likewise, make him know it's appreciated
>Backstory, journal entries, descriptions, all sorts
>Other characters are shit, not even descriptions or anything, literally a picture only
>Tell GM wish others had put in as much effort
>He tells players
>They bitch me out
>Vote me to leave

Am I that guy?

>>52456017
>DM hates that players are roleplaying
Well based on what he said it wasn't the fact they were roleplaying that annoyed him it was the fact they chose to roleplay as "Lol dude lets have a party in our make believe game and befriend everyone" maybe I'm a huge autist but when I sit down to play an RPG I want plot and adventure not hours of staying in a tavern

If you want an example of my autism.
Pet stores don't exists in any of my settings even if they are full of other anachronisms like french accents or modern moral standards. The reason i do this is when pcs get some money and go into town to buy stuff someone always asks if there is a pet store and If I say yes they spend the next 5 minutes going through the motions of purchasing whatever exotic bird, cat or dog they want for it to be forgotten immediately and fade into another long list of irrelevant things on their character sheet.

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>>52456273
I'm not sure if you are That Guy, but you are definitely me. I give so many shits about the games that I'm in that I sometimes worry that it'll make things weird. I go the whole nine yards for every character I make even if its just a one shot. I just really like writing. I try not to be smug about it though and I do my best to make sure that everybody gets an equal chance to shine at the table, even if I'm tempted to steal the show and run away with it.

>>52456394
sauce btw

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>>52456394
I do that, I enjoy writing too. When others don't make their character until 2 hours before session starts, I wonder to myself why has the GM allowed these people to enjoy their work?

They are putting in so much effort only for some tosspot to hand a shit character. Once saw a guy who put the same character in twice for the same Star Wars game, exactly the same, name, art, background, etc.

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>>52451543
>slather peanut brittle

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Need to get these sins off my ass
>in highschool I was emo asshole who browsed 4chan
>First dm was friend of a friend
>He leaves after I tell a Jew joke
>Next DM
>Leaves after a furry joke
>Next DM
>Isn't offended but has a shittier sense of humor
>Tires to be funny and fails
>Boring campaign
>Flake out to fuck some girl and avoid the one I had a crush in the group
>Come back after 4 months
>New campaign
>Start it with turning on the party, stealing all their shit, and getting murdered by invisible meme ghost
>Unfunny DM has my corspe get raped by a rage face
>Group girl leaves because she was raped at some point
>Other members call dm a tag for not being funny
>He goes into a rant about us being "4chinbois"
>Runs away into the woods to get away from us
>Group girl blames me for rape trigger
>Throws pencil at me in spite
>Hits me in the eye
>She starts apologizing
>Now we play dnd and I turned into a hopefully person

>>52456531
Carbon Pink, a work in progress by Jack Cayless.

https://jackcayless.tumblr.com/

>>52456712
Thats bready autistic

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>mfw used Diviner Wizard's Portent at every opportunity to single handily ruin a campaign by doing shit that should've been impossible for level 2 characters

>>52453269
>just fucking around in an inn cooking and eating with the party
is it bad that this seems appealing

>>52446978
we had a sorcerer player who, when he died, made a paladin. he played exactly like you described. we didn't give him a chance to make a third character

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So at the time I felt like I was justified because the DM was shit and the other players are shit, but I think this is a fine example of how you can ruin a game with the "Trying to win" mentality.

> Playing 3.5, terrribly unbalanced on both ends
> Minmaxed templated plant fighter lion barians next to druid/paladin/summoners
> Join as a secret agent to keep an eye on powerhungry evil PC
> Party is level 11, they think I'm a level 1 adept there for story purposes
> I'm a level 11 wizard that uses concealed spellcasting to hide my big spells for the ruse
> Party finally finds the big plot macguffin
> Evil PC necromancer I'm watching takes the macguffin, turns to the party
> Begins long evil speech, I text something to the DM
> Failadin draws sword, readies to charge
> Necromancer uses Mass Hold Person to restrain entire party, including, he thinks, me
> Evil necromancer continues evil speech until he's just about to actually finish off the party
> The think I texted to the DM was "I cast mislead" and a list of buffs to Silently cast
> I pop out of invisibility and fuck him up with a righteous fury
> Take plot macguffin and destroy it
> Party says "Thanks for saving us"
> No actually those ungrateful assholes say "He destroyed the macguffin! Kill him!"
> ChainDominatePerson.jpg
> Rules say I can't force them to kill themselves
> Force them to kill each other instead

>DM says I have to play a less overpowered class like druid now because Wizard's too strong
>Druids even more broken than wizards in 3.5
> Roll up warforged wild shape druid named Maximum Rhyme
> DM doesn't get it
> Summarily dismissed from the game when I attempt to transform into armadillo and roll out
> Probably worth but I still felt like an ass later

>walk into town
>Go to a bank and ask about interest rates

>>52459736
You fucking monster

>>52458501
>players who try to "win" rather than help make a story
Freeform RPing on GameFAQs as a youth has taught me to despise this mentality above all else.

>>52460043
Once a certain baseline level of backstabbing has been reached, you have two options.

One is to have a frank chat with everyone about how backstabbing is ruining the game.

The other is to show off how much better at backstabbing you are.

>>52451543
>>still into hs
This is the only cringeworthy thing about this. Homestuck went to shit the instant the trolls were introduced.

>>52451778
>certainly better than bronies, undertale, and furries
But Homestuck is all those things. It is all that cancer combined.

You're young now but you'll look back on your troll-worshipping ways with more horror than you do the session you recounted today.

>>52427118
>>52427190

You saved the world from another shitty fantasy novel written by idiot teenagers, you're a damned hero.

I got a story about how I derailed a whole session trying to get one of my previous characters resurrected as a plot device that ended up having our party driven out of a town because I was carrying around a week old corpse with me, but I don't know if it counts because OOC we were finding the reactions of PCs and NPCs alike hilarious, and no one really complained either

>>52422503

If you didn't get caught, that's not cheating

>>52452476
>16 ft. muscular scarred troll woman thats domineering and violent
Is it obvious fap fuel in the other players player's eyes or are you worried it might come off that way?

because this is my magical realm and if people tend to not notice I think I'll be making that exact same character too

>>52422491
Fuck off, Russian shill.

>>52426737
same senpai

>>52461869
>responding to a post made literally days ago to say something incomprehensible
Well, you certainly made a THATGUY out of yourself, pal!

>>52461897
Thanks mate! ;^) Remember, no Russian.

>>52452476

What system?

>>52422087
Every time I'm the player. That's why I always GM. I'm a terrible player but a passable GM.

I set a lesbian character and her NPC lover on fire and burned them to death in the name of my glorious new eldritch god, a thinly veiled Kek reference.

>>52456712
>runs away into the woods to get away from us

I assume he was never seen again?

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>>52448115
>>I might try running another game in the future

Here's some advice: Don't.

>>52424393
Nah, that can be fun. There is a line though, but as a rational adult I'm sure you know what it is based on your group.

>>52424498
That's fucking amazing.

>>52451150
I'll bite, story time

>>52452041

>First Session
>Everyone recruited into a country's secret organization for the best of the best.
>Everyone is Lvl. 1, no real reason for us of all people to be chosen

>Sent to fight off a goblin camp outside capital.
>Along the way, find a little boy among a pile of corpses, wielding powerful ice magic exclusive to him.
>Meet the DMPC

>Finish goblin camp, go back for reward.
>Prowl about int the town for a while, get our very own tower equipped for almost literally EVERYTHING

>Sends us on another quest that "Required all of the team to go at once"
>Kill a cultist after some effort, he laughs.
>Go back to town, and wouldn't you know, IT IS ON FIRE, OH SHIT. BLOOD, FIRE, CORPSES, CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

>Make rolls to save the DMPC
>Don't worry, the rolls don't matter.
>Little boy, not even a tween, leads us adults with at least some experience to the boss

>Boss is named '13'
>Boss is edge-erific, I think he even had a fucking scythe
>Succeed the rolls to hit him
>"Your weapons hit the mysterious figure, but appear to do no damage"
>DMPC is able to do damage though

>I go up a staircase, and plunge my double voulge into the literal edgelord's head
>"Your weapon sinks into his head, killing him instantly."
>What?
>"His blood corrodes and destroys your weapon's blade."
>Cool, I guess we are fighting an organization of edgy xenomorph anime characters.

>Get on boat for a new country, distribute xp
>Supposedly secret organization that hired us is now defunct on the same day.

>All in one session, that lasted 2-3 hours.

I will say, we were still in high school, and I am fairly sure it was his first time DMing. Even still, that campaign was going to be absolutely shit, and I didn't want to make it worse by not showing interest.

>>52472295
Your boss was a Jojo Bizarre Adventure villain. Your DM wasn't even subtle about it

>>52472351
I wouldn't even have any problem with it if it fit with everything else. It just came out of nowhere.

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>>52453423
"Dude. Wow. This game is bugged."

>>52453269
That's the situation when you the players relaxing and comfortable, having a nice party, and before it gets too boring... have an army of darkness sweep over the land, conquering everything and putting all resistance to the sword.

Then the rest of the campaign is to get back their peaceful, relaxing inn again.

>>52448189
How is that bad?

Also
>crit success/failure on skill checks

That is what makes you That DM

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>>52422087
I pestered my GM about the (really fucking bad) ending to one of his campaigns for such a long period of time that he quit GMing as a whole.

In hindsight I really wish he just kicked me from the group for not getting over the bad ending, but he was too nice.

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>>52453269

>>52453491
Wait, did he base the character on Alphys of all possible characters from Undertale?

If so you were right to kill them off. Fuck Alphys.

>>52422472
>zorak4
How many images of Zorak do you have?

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>>52477693
Wouldn't you like to know?

>>52426101
What's wrong with Pass Without Trace?

>>52429767
>>100 year old psychic warrior elan loli
>>main mode of attack is growing big and face sitting enemies to death

I've entered my magical realm.

>>52435846
>>Another player playing an assassin helps my character kill himself by creating a shadow noose
that's hilarious holy shit

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>>52450779
Holy shit.

>>52453706
That's not really that guy, that's pretty hilarious.

>>52477705
I would.

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>>52477964
You never will
but to give an idea, there are 113 (available) episodes of Space Ghost Coast-to-Coast (including specials), and 29 (including webisode) of the Brak Show, in which Zorak has a much higher amount of unique situations.

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>>52422087
Game of Demon: The Fallen
One of the characters (Yuriel, literally Fire of God) was a killsat pre-fall who got mothballed and replaced and fell because of it. His last act as an angle was to annihilate the factory producing the one use angel assassins (Zuriels) that replaced him along with the CBD it was buried under.
My character was an analysis sat who happened to be sitting over the factory when it was blown up, causing it's own fall.

There has been much in character anger directed at the Zuriels and the player won't apologise (it's a light hearted argument that we both bring up just to bicker over) and in our latest argument I escalated by taking some gorgeous character art he'd been given and doing well...that...to it.
I thought it was funny, my fellow player did not.

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>>52424366
You monster.

>>52474157
fuck off fun police

>first campaign
>high school club with friends
>make goofy gnome sorc
>dump wis
>it'll lead to all kinds of silly situations right
>nobody's really all that serious anyway
>mostly just murdering pirates across the sea
>get a hand cannon at some point
>my and my two friends in the group commandeer a sahaguin ship pulled by dire sharks
>we were the impetus for the group splitting into most people then sorc/rogue/ranger/barb
>reach the pirate cove we've been after at night
>shaped like picture, we're at orange and the others at pink, black is sheer cliff
>that's important
>rogue and barb swim up to the shore, sneaking up on some sentries
>I stayed aboard because fuckhuge sharks
>out of magic missiles, wait, the hand cannon
>point, shoot, BANG
>louder than thunder and echoes back because of the shape
>oh shit need some contingency
>like 8 pirates show up in a big dinghy, they haven't seen the ship
>rogue and barb surrender and are tied up
>EUREKA
>lure them over and hit 'em with some alchemist fire
>blow on signal whistle
>ship noticed
>just according to plan
>they toss the other two into the dinghy and approach
>less according to plan
>I'm out of spells and the ranger is useless
>so I toss the fire anyway
>allies die in the blaze, every pirate who didn't burn was eaten by the sharks
Only remotely interesting story of the sort I have

>>52451294
Lots of people for one reason or another are really into combat or look down on trying to talk down hostiles instead of going straight for the lethal option. See this guy >>52451680.

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>>52478425
frick

>>52429767
I'd play that realm.

>>52458501
>> Roll up warforged wild shape druid named Maximum Rhyme
>> DM doesn't get it
>> Summarily dismissed from the game when I attempt to transform into armadillo and roll out
I love you for this if nothing else.

>>52425442
>Did not end well
Do tell.

>>52472351
The DMPC was a fucking Naruto character as well.

>>52427704
>because it's still too early to allow deaths
What? Since when is it ever "too early" for a death?

>>52427833
Just replace the character build with a new one and pretend they were always this way.
Use the Willing Suspension of Disbelief, Anon!

>>52422087
>Turn up to first session of a new 5e game at a pub, billed as a serious roleplaying session
>GM spends two hours taking players out onto the pavement outside the pub and running them through a unique solo encounter session to set the scene or something
>I am last and get increasingly drunk
>Can't even remember what happened after the actual game started, other than my Paladin's god was called Ket so I kept making ketamine references.

That Guy particle collider up in here

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>>52422087
Feels good mane

>>52448189
i'll be using the shit out of this one. cheers.

not too that-guy on me: more the guy who wrote the module..

>party sent to investigate disappearances in a region
>check in at the last inn these missing noble's kids were seen at
>rooms for all!
>no watch set up because it's a fucking inn
>innkeeper long since dead
>inn now run and inherited by a pack of wererats infecting travelers
>makeshift dungeon in the basement
>party gets shrekt in their sleep
>except that one beefy fucking dwarf who saved the day

>>52448115
You shouldn't. You're human garbage, and your mom should have swallowed.

>>52453643
Nobody wants to play your shitty novel.

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>>52422087

My character killed another PC. Sabotaged the lines he was climbing up. The rest of the group either passively agreed with it or didn't peg the 'accident' as something the Proud Warrior Guy (TM) would do.

>>52435774

you're feykin with us

>>52435774
Are you autistic or just feykin it

>>52425606
You right.

>itt: furfag au/tg/ists mad that a DM wanted to run a fucking game and not a freeform RP

>>52482561
>he's still angry for people pointing out that he's a terrible DM instead of enjoying those (You)s

>>52482618
>he still thinks it's okay to have thatguys at the table derail a campaign in lieu of shitty "hangouts" in game
If I wanted to do that I'd fucking go hang out at a bar with actual friends, instead of playing make believe doing just that. How fucking sad do you have to be to spend your evening pretending to be someone else sitting around hanging out with make believe friends in a make believe tavern?

>>52478884
Which naruto character?

>>52422087

I roleplay on F-List... yeah.

>>52472295
>double voulge
Did you fucking play Wei Yan?

>>52485262
>back when we had the two different ERP generals
>tried to get into F-List roleplay
>players are like writing fucking novels

How do you do it?

>>52482671
The irony here is palpable.

>>52485816

Step one, don't have autism. Step two, filter autism.

Anyone who specifies post length minimums in their profile has autism, and is to be avoided. Sometimes a novel length post is fine, especially if you are setting a scene. But then after that, you really have to transition to much shorter posts so that real time interaction is possible. Autism doesn't understand this and confuses post length for quality.

>>52424366
>>52478305
What?

>>52485816
It just isn't worth it, man. I mean, writing smut is good, but after the third college try I realized F-List isn't where you want to go to learn how.

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>>52486855
Greasy
Hands

>>52488812
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>52470995
sorry, i forgot about this thread. anyways.
>third adventure with friends as before
>this time, one of our friends wants to try it out
>sure why not
>he makes a fighter whos so obsessed with ale the the only reason that he joined us on a quest is because we have a ship with a lot of homebrewed ale
>my character this time is a warlock who made a pact with a demon to carry said members to a demonic cave
>shit happens and we eventually get to the island where the cave is after fighting off filthy shitskin natives, a giant crab, and of course skeletons
>we encounter a minotaur and our ranger (the bard from last game) doesnt wanna kill it
>caveman tells us to
>we kill it after the ranger nearly dies
>caveman thanks us for killing the minotaur and reveals himself as another demon
>he gives us a contract where we have to kill 3 certain people everyday in order to live and in return we get whatever the fuck we want
>seems like a sweet deal, right?
>the ranger refuses because he doesnt wanna kill innocent people
>the demon says they are not innocent and he wants us to kill them so he can use them for demon-y things
>he refuses
>demon offers to level him up 5 levels (cant be done [at least as far as i know] but we still tried to just convince him to join us on our crusade)
>dm gets frustrated with ranger because hes defying the quest that the dm and i made together
>the ranger is getting pissed at the dm
>frustrated, the demon unzips a portal out of nowhere and throws him into the fly of despair, gif related
>i get full access to any brother along with an oni mask
>barbarian gets a replacement ax from hell itself
>monk can levitate while sleeping
>fighter gets a flask from hell that refills itself with ale
>elf knight is a slave owner
>ranger player leaves
>we all start to notice that he dies everytime someone new joins because this is the third time its happened, and not the last
>we all like our new addition to the game cuz he kept cracking jokes the whole time

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>>52489459
whoops forgot gif

>>52422087
>playing a female bard with Perform(seduction) skill
>we reach a treasure room at the end of a dungeon
>big pile of treasure in the middle of cavernous room
>obviously trapped in some way
>I'm tired of this shit, I just walk over and start picking up treasure
>various traps go off, I think I died immediately, it was a long time ago
>rest of party slowly gets killed one-by-one by a giant ball of fire that just rolls around the room
I don't really regret it, it was a shit campaign among friends in highschool where we were just stumbling through a mockery of D&D, we didn't even really know or understand all of the rules and were all shit and GMing and roleplaying. I honestly can't even remember any other aspect of that campaign that lead to that party wipe. I am mad at myself for doing it though because as I got more interested and serious about the hobby and we kept stumbling through attempts at playing D&D, that kind of flippant behaviour is exactly what got under my skin about my other friends when playing. Oh well.

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>>52424498
I like this man.
Ive only had a few "that guys" sort of moments
>Playing Pathfinder
>Orc Barbarian, very original dumb barbarian eats everything sort
>Wizard alway talks big game and has stick stuck up his ass.
>grabs his magic stick (that's always up his ass) because tired of his 6 str antics
>"Ill give it back only iff you gib me 50 platinum"
>"No"
>Too strong to be stopped
>"Fine. Me go rechard stick and sell it"
>throws it into a magic recharging pool
>Rod explodes nearly killing everyone
I was only RPGing Mr.GM man.

>>52489459
I'll be honest, I'd be on the Ranger's side. There was really no reason to trust a demon to not be a shit.

>>52491227
You're such a party pooper.

>>52491304
>trusting a demon to not fuck you over down the line

>>52425606
Congratulations, you somehow gave the right answer despite there not being one.

Well played.

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>Bro’s hosting a campaign with these weird Orcs that are a cross between the WoW Noble Savages and Tolkien War Beasts.
>time4WAAAAAGH!.jpg
>Make a proppa’ Ork
>Big Choppa
>Ard as ‘ell
>Rest of the party is compromised of a Half-Celestial, a Corgi Paladin, a Tiefling Psionic, a Fey Bard, and a Half-Elf Mage
>The bard’s a bastard who’s just as likely to ignore you as he is to spit in your face and smile.
>The dumb motherfucker nearly killed the party and our employer when he tried to put a Primordial Warmind to sleep with a song.
>He always uses the excuse ‘lol fey don’t help any1’ whenever we need help
>It was cute at first, then the thing with the Warmind happened.
>Ork iz proppa mad
>The bard’s about to incite a riot by playing a song of rage at a crowd of peasants.
>Punches the runt out and chops off his hand.
>mfw the party chews me out for maiming a party member
>mfw when my bro is holding his head in hands in disappointment

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>Be 13 y/o me
>Indulge in friend's BESM campaign
>Play an edgy drow with a gun

Really anything else would just be redundant.

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>>52491914

>corgi paladin

>>52491366
he didnt. i had gay sex with the demon halfway through the quest. its all good, famalam.

>>52492129
The character is a 3ft tall bipedal corgi. I don’t know what to tell you.

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>>52422087
>DM, who was friend, wanted to introduce three chicks who seemed interested in tabletop to Pathfinder.
>Wanted one more person to round it out; asked me.
>Agree to help show the ropes.
>Players and DM decide beforehand they want an evil-campaign. Everyone is Lawful Evil to Chaotic Evil.
>I am informed of this at the last second.
>Ican'twakeup.jpg
>Decide to make a jovial, vaguely Russian barbarian, because everyone else is playing a squishy sort of class like a wizard, a rogue, or a sorcerer.
>Thus begins the brief saga of Kazamir Lyosha.
You might be wondering how I'm going to be That Guy in this scenario; rest assured that it ends with the friendship between the three girls (which had evidently started in fucking kindergarten) being ruined, my DM/friend refusing to speak to me for about three months, and me stealing the spotlight like a motherfucker because I simply did not give a fuck.
>Game day.
>The other characters are wary of each other; they seemed to be looking for the best opportunity to back-stab each other for. . . whatever we were eventually going to be questing for.
>It was a literal 'I go into a corner of the bar and watch what's going on' sorta situation.
>Enter Kazamir.
>Walks up to the barkeeper, literally ask for his finest brew, ask how the missus is doing, ect.
>Offhandedly ask for a plot-hook, trying to keep this situation from being bogged down in 'edge' and show players how this sorta thing can work; at this point, the DM is still on my side, poor bastard.
>Turns out there are undead shenanigans going on in a crypt not far away from town and how there's a money reward for quelling this infestation; this perks the party's interest, and suddenly they're invested in what is going on.
>Kazamir politely decline the portion of up-front payment (he's Good); the rest of the party accepts it even as the DM tells them to make a knowledge (arcane) check; they roll decently, and start to get invested in the game.

Continued in next post.

>>52489459
Ranger did nothing wrong.

>>52492152

But why though.

>>52492237
Fuck if I know, its what the Player wanted.

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>>52492193
Continued from last post.

To give a brief bit of background, I'm almost certain the DM wanted to bang one of the girls he invited to the game; in particular, it was the individual playing the rogue. She was a bit of a bitch, and generally a downer, but my DM was whipped; I didn't think this was a healthy relationship, and I knew for a fact that this entire game was a ticking timebomb of issues.
God help me, I set the timer.
>I ask if Kazamir can also make an Knowledge (Arcane) check, as he is actually rather intelligent, and does have training in that skill.
>Kazamir does, and rolls obscenely well.
>Turns out there's some sorta legend about an evil artifact in the crypt that "requires an innocent's blood to obtain".
>The rest of the party basically leaps up and wants to take this quest, and start getting really friendly with Kazamir.
>I roll with it, despite it obviously being a trap.
>I maintain my in-character demeanor, just a friendly, cheerful Russian-accented dude who can hit shit super hard.
>Dickass rogue steals a shitload of the fair-share, don't bother calling her out on it, just roll with it and thank her for 'risking her neck' for looking for traps and other dangers.
>This despite Kazamir face-tanking all the traps thus far, and her effectively pushing Kazamir in front of all possible dangers.
>There is starting to be a schism in the group, however; the other players don't seem to like the stuff that being 'Evil' entails.
>They REALLY don't like how the dick-ass thief takes more than her fair share of loot.
>And they appreciate how Kazamir always evenly distributes the loot he manages to find, or sometimes even just gives it away to his 'friends'.
>I milk the spotlight for all it is worth.
>Operation_guilt_trip_is_a_success.jpg
>Operation_Poisonous_friendship_initiates.jpg
>Eventually the party finds this mystical artifact thing; more specifically, the dick-ass thief does.

Probably concluded in next post.