>"By order of the duke, no swords nor spears are allowed

>>52318564

"I'm part of the thieves guild, perhaps you can look the other way this time? (Bribe)"

>>52318564
Maces, daggers and crossbows are good though?

>>52318564
But guard! How will we defend ourselves against wizards?

>>52318627
"You couldn't even with those things. Have you tried bitching at your DM some more? I bet that will work."

File: Sunblade_Mage_Guard.jpg (47KB, 336x500px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 336x500px

>>52318627
Don't worry, us guards will protect you from those devious wizards. You can trust me, I'm a guard!

File: bat007.jpg (936KB, 1509x1600px) Image search: [Google]

936KB, 1509x1600px

>>52318564
We'd best get rid of yours, then.

File: shiggity diggity do.gif (1MB, 264x264px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 264x264px

>>52318592
>asking the ATF if these guns are legal

>>52318709
>trying to mail anthrax to the king but your mule died en route

>>52318564
good thing I still have my flintlock

So? I'd give up my weapons either to the guards for safekeeping or to a trusted follower to wait outside the city. Then I can go in and do my shopping and business.

Hopefully I'd eventually get in good enough with the local duke that he'd let me own a house in town and let me store my weapons there.

>>52318824
>not having a concealed weapon carry permit

File: Arden Skywood.jpg (93KB, 381x618px) Image search: [Google]

93KB, 381x618px

>>52318564
"I want a receipt of some kind in case something happens to them and I must be compensated. Are we allowed smaller items of self-defense such as daggers?"

Then I'd probably ask if the Duke is employing such a law because of domestic issues of some sort; if the answer is yes I ask if he is accepting contracted assistance.

>>52318564
>daggers are fine
>maces are fine
>crossbows are fine
>bows are fine
>meteor hammers are fine
>warhammers are fine
>axes are fine

>>52318564
"I have no weapons to declare. Are there any special laws regarding the practice of sorcery within the city that I should be aware of while I'm here?"

File: Hopegun.gif (3MB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 640x360px

>>52318967
>Guns are fine

>>52318564
"What about these guns?"

*Aggressive flexing*

>>52318564
M-muh swords...

What if your fists are registered deadly weapons?

File: gandalf the off white.jpg (7KB, 275x183px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 275x183px

>>52318564
Oh?... You wouldn't part an old man from his... walking-stick?

>>52318987
>Sorcerer
>Playing as some combination of lawful good and lawful anal
But why?

File: tumblr_nyuqq8oKnF1rjkl6po1_1280[1].png (190KB, 1280x640px) Image search: [Google]

190KB, 1280x640px

Knives are cool, right? Alright, then.

>>52318564
How about this sword
-unzips dick-

>>52319113
Technically a wizard by character class, but I don't think the setting has a single word pinned down for doing the kind of magic he does and "sorcery" sounds cool. Anyway, he's got a family, settled lifestyle, and cult meetings to come back to post-adventure so I figure he'd like to avoid unnecessary legal trouble that might land him in a foreign tyrant's dungeon for thirty years or some shit.

>>52319148
>I-is it curved?

>>52319201
That's all well and good but your wizard sounds like the kind of guy who in high school always reminds the teacher she forgot to assign homework

File: qt girl 142.jpg (424KB, 842x1000px) Image search: [Google]

424KB, 842x1000px

>>52319148
That's quite the mighty blade there, Sir Anon. I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to step over here for a more thorough inspection.

File: +4_STR.jpg (132KB, 611x640px) Image search: [Google]

132KB, 611x640px

>>52318564
>Looks at wand
>Looks at bitchin' staff
>Looks at potions
Yeah. Okay, that's fine.

>>52319148

>unzips dick

JFC your dick has a zipper

>>52318564
>Be caster
>Give no shits
>Laugh at martials and their inadequacies

The world sure does love shitting on martials, but what do I care. I gots magic and it's just impossible to *not* win as a caster.

>>52318564
*Looks down*

*Pats self down*

"OK, four daggers, handaxe, club, knuckle dusters, I'm good!"

File: Naginata.jpg (133KB, 600x450px) Image search: [Google]

133KB, 600x450px

>>52318564
No swords or spears?
Well I'll just be on my way then.

>>52318564
>>52318564
I know for a fact that my current party would take that as an excuse to steal the city walls.

File: Criminal_Scum_Toilet.jpg (21KB, 169x250px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 169x250px

I miss oblivion guards

"STOP RIGHT THERE, CRUMINAL SCUM"

>>52319859
Lurk more, please

>>52320351
You first.

File: gandalf-nod-because-a-normal-nod-is-too-mainstream_o_838808.gif (2MB, 700x350px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 700x350px

>"Oh... you would not part an old man from his walking stick?"

>>52319148
We're gonna have to confiscate that too, yes. Step right over here and the wizard will assist you.

"This policy is clearly a form of discrimination against the non-magic. I wish to register a complaint against the city."

>>52320365
I did my time. I'm not going back

>>52318564
Warhammers are still fine though, right?

File: 1416678193907.jpg (27KB, 315x239px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 315x239px

>>52318564

"Hear that boys? Guns, explosives, crossbows, knives, chainsaws, spiked 2x4s, chains, whips, ropes, and baby oil are okay! Let's get a move on, people, Duke's gotta have his cut of the profit on our 'highway tolls', and he's gotta have it now!"

>>52318564
Well I would hope not. Swords and spears in the city walls would be very structurally unstable.

File: 43.jpg (31KB, 315x239px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 315x239px

>>52320714
"Brother, is he the man who tried to take away your goods?"

>Monk character
Owkay

>>52318564
No worries as a paladin is trained with all sorts including magical.

File: nostep_large.png (352KB, 480x476px) Image search: [Google]

352KB, 480x476px

SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED

>>52318564
It's not like spears were usable weapons in Skyrim anyway.

The party unceremoniously dump their weapons in Mr Giant Autismo Bot's hands and tell him to stand outside the gates for the few days spent in town.
Then the Paladin sits outside as well, to give him some company. Because he's a big softie.

>>52318564
I immediately notify the other guards and have him arrested and questioned. There is no Duke, only a Jarl. This man is an impersonator.

File: 1435600785034.png (14KB, 1144x759px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 1144x759px

>>52321601

Rolled 9 + 43 (1d20 + 43)

>>52318564
Yes they are, bitch.
*rolls intimidate*

>>52322037
>+43

File: gadsen3.png (66KB, 600x340px) Image search: [Google]

66KB, 600x340px

>>52322002

>>52318627
Wizards are super rare, chances of a wizard going out of his way to dick you over is like getting hit by lightning.

It all depends on how much "Fuck you wizard go suck a dick" themed stuff you are wearing.

>>52322051
Level 10, 10 ranks
+3 from class skill, 10 from item, +5 from inquisitor levels, +5 from FCB (Half-orc or tiefling), +2 from racial, +2 from trait, +5 from Wisdom, +6 from Strength via feat.
Huh, correction, +48.

File: tolkien.jpg (4KB, 103x120px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 103x120px

>>52319082
>>52320374
Came here to post this.
/tg/ once again confirmed a board of scholars and gentlemen.
>stick

>>52322037
But if you do that, they'll just run and get the rest of the garrison and murder you.

>>52322074
Except that my friend here, Liliana Not-A-Drider, was struck by lightning.... twice during last night's storm.

So, I guess we're due for a Wizard attack?

>>52320503

>"And you will be allowed to do that without any weapons on your person."

>>52320278
Hail lord Matrim!

>>52322133
>What are strikes with healing effects
>What are AoE strikes

>>52322143
Pissing off gods for being a filthy spiderhumper raises the variable a lot.

>>52318564
This is ye olde medeival setting it's not like letting strangers carry weapons or not will actually do anything.

It's thepull-out-weapon-and-run-up-and-stab-you part that does it, now crossbows, thats another story.

File: matt.png (255KB, 429x415px) Image search: [Google]

255KB, 429x415px

>>52322155
Blood and bloody ashes, only just got what the Ashandarei was meant to be.

>>52318564
>"By order of the duke, no swords nor spears are allowed within the city walls."

Easiest conquest ever.

>>52321703
That feel when they show perfectly working spears in game jam, but refuse to implement them in Dragonporn despite it being Morrowind nostalgia bait. Why is Bethesda absolutely retarded.

>>52318564
>It's a realistic, historically accurate campaign.

>>52319131
Patrician taste

File: Solingen-Langes-Messer01.jpg (465KB, 1600x1200px) Image search: [Google]

465KB, 1600x1200px

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>52318564
Oh this? This isn't a sword: it's just a long knife.
>roll deception

>>52319131
My nigga

>>52319281
Statistically speaking, there's a 70% likelihood it is

>>52322155
Mat a shit, A SHIT!
>>52322465
Jordan's a disgusting weeaboo

>>52323719

Well, be careful with that then. Carry on.

File: image.jpg (23KB, 472x345px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 472x345px

>>52318723

>>52318564
Alright, guard. Have a fine day.
>Continue into the city with the various clubs and daggers on my person

>>52319148

Zipps havent been invented yet.

File: artiom-fedoulov-kriegsmesser-scb.jpg (179KB, 1600x800px) Image search: [Google]

179KB, 1600x800px

>>52323719
>A knife

>>52318564
Also mages are to have their hands bound and mouths gagged, yea?

Please say yes. I've been looking for an excuse to bind our witch up.

But guard, we are supposed to have weapons in case we need to revolt against the duke.

>>52319712
Why is that Wizard ripped?

>>52318564
>rogue
"Why of course I'll turn over whatever swords I have"
*Never mentions the 100g in knives*
>Paladin
"You would DARE separate a Paladin from his Weapon?!"
>Wizard
*grumble-grumble* "Sword? what sword? Do you see a sword?"
*Familiar flies the party's Shrunk gear in*

File: 1445684256862.jpg (63KB, 500x529px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 500x529px

>>52323353
Spears, flails, they showed lots of that in Game Jam. Fucking hell..

>>52324256
>Paladin
>Response isn't "Certainly good sir. Though I must say, despite my admiration for your valiant efforts towards keeping the peace, the peculiar wording of your law would still allow several scoundrels and ruffians to walk the city streets with a variety of harmful implements, like the several pounds of daggers my roguish-looking compatriot here keeps strapped to his person (purely for self-defense, of course). But fear not fellow lawbringer! I will bring with me my Holy Avenger so that I may reap justice upon any such ner-do-wells, thus easing the burden of peacekeeping on you and your lord, an act I'm certain your benevolent ruler would see fit to award with a fair sum of gold. Why, he may even see fit to award the keen-minded guardsmen who came up with the brilliant idea of allowing a Holy Knight of God and his compatriots their weapons for just such a noble cause!"
Clearly your CHA isn't high enough to be a true paladin

File: atf.png (531KB, 1024x1024px) Image search: [Google]

531KB, 1024x1024px

>>52318564
BUT I LOST ALL MY SWORDS AND SPEARS IN A BOATING ACCIDENT MR ATF

>>52324121
My /k/nigga

>>52324315
Who the hell runs their marketing department? They could have made gamejam DLC with all that stuff and people would have paid a fortune for it.

>>52324623
How the hell that AR isn't SBR? It has a stock.

>>52319082
>>52320374
Why was that guard so stupid?
He knew who Gandalf was.

>>52325690
length of stock.

>>52325709
He also knew that is lord and king was sort of mind controlled

>>52325709
Jedi mind tricks, anon.

File: sk20120913.jpg (435KB, 800x1221px) Image search: [Google]

435KB, 800x1221px

>>52319002
I can't find the page where the guard asks "What is that" when it's pointed at his face, so please accept this page instead.

File: f35d0be20fe3168bf386ecdf591d542b.jpg (79KB, 660x439px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 660x439px

>>52325729
>>52325690
Incorrect, that is not a stock, it's a brace.

>>52325747
No mind tricks, when the fighting started he stopped his men from interfering with the exorcism.

>>52325799
oh dang. I've never seen that before. Just how practical is that?

>>52325822
Not at all, unless you use it as a sock.

>>52325822
To shoot, or to dodge the ATF's SBR-definitions?

The ATF is unconstitutional and should be defunded.

>>52324243
he has arcane abs to get the ladies
>wizards
>natty
pick one

>>52318564
Boy i love thinly veiled politics on the board, golly gee.

>>52325781
I like this more than should be reasonable because it's a logical step that leads to a bad end.

>>52325895
But really, defund the ATF.

>>52326014
ATF? what traditional game is that?

>>52325868
>>52326014
i'm so glad i live in a country where angry conservative man-children can't have guns.

>>52325709
It's vaguely implied that's the reason he let Gandalf keep his staff.

>>52326089

something something I hope you like getting cucked by Akmed.

>>52325709
Remember, in LoTR the magic is way more lowkey and infinitely rarer than in DnD. The guard knew, at most, that there were rumours that Gandalf had some sort of magical powers. But he has absolutely no reason to think that the staff is a Staff as opposed to an old man's walking stick.

>>52326137
You forgot to praise Kek, yell about Shillary, and grumble about Libruls and jews.

>>52324243
You never heard of body magic?

>>52326089
But anon, I'm a liberal and also I feel bad that you have to live in a country that doesn't respect your inherent right to self defense.

>>52326214
Is there any examples of DnD style magic in LoTR? The only thing I can think of is when Saruman shot that fireball at Gandalf in ROTK

>>52325914
>I like this more than should be reasonable because it's a logical step that leads to a bad end.
If you haven't read the comic, the gun has some strange properties because it technically isn't supposed to exist in the setting. Among other things, people forget what it is unless they see it in use every day.

>>52326513

>Is there any examples of DnD style magic in LoTR?

Virtually none. Saruman and Sauron can scry on people with the Palantirs but that has more to do with the objects themselves.

>>52326483
>inherent
>rights
Lmao

>>52318564
"But axes, hammers, and bows are fine, right?"

>>52324195

"Listen pal, we don't want to hear about your fetish"

"Loses the weapons or your not getting in the city"

File: Kant_let_you_do_that.png (1MB, 932x687px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 932x687px

>>52326771
>Current year
>Not knowing that the rational nature of the universe creates internally consistent moral maxims as entailed by the Categorical Imperative
>Not knowing that in order for a maxim to be considered part of the Categorical Imperative it must first pass the Humanity Formula, ie, it must treat human beings (and other rational beings in general) as Things-In-Themselves, never just mere means
>Not knowing that therefore humans have a degree of natural rights granted them by the nature of their being rational agents

File: highking.jpg.cf.jpg (27KB, 530x248px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 530x248px

>>52318564

"by order of the King"

"Fuck off"

>>52326513
In Fellowship (the book), Gandalf uses some magic to light a fire while they're travelling Redhorn Pass. He also implies he painted a giant target on the fellowship's collective backs while doing so.

Not like our dm ever lets us into towns to begin with.

Fuck, I cant remember a game the alt dm has run in the last decade that did not have us as criminals from before the game started.

>>52327379
> I cant remember a game the alt dm has run in the last decade that did not have us as criminals from before the game started.

This never turns out well. Mostly because the first session always involves the GM's Pet NPC rescuing the party from jail.

>>52325660
Most of the heads of bethesda bends deep over for the marketing and share holders because they managed to save the company.

I mean its not ubisofts "Gotta be a tower to climb and audio log" catering to the fetishist but still, a lot of choices seem to be made by outside influence.

>>52327569
Yeah, I have all but given up.

I try to run campaigns as often as possible, dreading him getting the itch to run again.

<Keep holdout weapons>

Sure!

File: Viking.jpg (244KB, 622x1000px) Image search: [Google]

244KB, 622x1000px

>>52318564
Right.

>>52326771
Rights by definition are inherent. A non inherent right is called a privilege. Learn to English before you try philosophy or law friend.

>>52318564
"Fine, axes have better DPS anyway."

>>52326902
"So what, I should conjur my halberd and give it to you?"

"Just be aware it's going to disappear come midday."

>>52318564
That's cool. I use an axe.

cease quoting the law. we carry weapons.

File: kriegmesser.jpg (96KB, 1000x597px) Image search: [Google]

96KB, 1000x597px

>>52318564
I-it's a knife, guv'ner! Honest!

>>52326513
Pretty sure Gandalf does some shit when they fight wolves before they go into moria. Like he makes a tree grow and throws a lightning bolt or some shit.

>>52326089
What country?

>>52326513
Luthien put Morgoth and his minions to sleep with a song/dance. She also destroyed a tower with a spell

>>52320800
Underrated post.

>>52326089
>thinking the angry conservative man children live in the liberal shit holes

File: 1458075314541.jpg (38KB, 344x399px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 344x399px

>>52318564
Chat him up politely about the new changes in town to distract him a little. Slight of hand to block his view of the longsword at my hip with the tower shield on my left arm. One use of invisibility from my dayly spell like abilities. Misdirection twice from the same, swaping swords aura for the mundane worry stone in my pocket and the haversacks for my favorite marble. Finish getting info and consent to search if their is one. Only a dagger on my belt, backpack seems normal. Finish up with the guard and thank him for his stalwart service to his lord in these troubled times (bluff). Head on in to get a drink while the rest of my uncooth party gets gridlocked at the gate by a simple Stop, Question, Frisk. They'll catch up eventually. Ask if they got a claim token or other proof of ownership from anything confiscated.
Mfw they didn't.
Mfw the meat shield has better rogue skills than the rogue.
Damn it feels good to be a kitsune.
Nine tails for life.

>>52328046
He's making fun of the idea of anything being inherent, and then making fun of the idea of rights.

I'd guess he's an egoist. They seem to be the people who meme that kind of thing the most.

File: The_solitary_crimson_keyblade_by_Lrme87.jpg (194KB, 1016x1208px) Image search: [Google]

194KB, 1016x1208px

>>52318564
"Sorry, I'm from a, uh, far- away land and not familiar with the local laws. You can go ahead and keep my Keyblade (heh)."

>>52325709
He wasn't stupid - Grima even told him to take the staff - he just didn't care. Wizards do wonders for curing your king's ailments.

>>52326513
Gandalf calls down fire and lightning on occasion, but it's toned down in the movies. He also gets into a spell-counterspell shoving match with the Balrog, trying to keep a door closed so it can't get through.

>>52328784
>She also destroyed a tower with a spell
Kind of. She undid the magic that was holding it together, and it collapsed.

>>52326089
>Something something bin that knife mate.
>Something something, ban assault vehicles.

>>52319148
That's not a sword.

More like a thumb-tack

>>52324578
>being manipulative
>Lawful Good

Knave, thou art a coward! A true champion needs no blade!

>>52333216
Said many a man before dieing a pointless, avoidable "heroic" death.

>>52333216
This right here is why no one likes Paladins.

>>52318564
>Monk
Okay.

>>52333737
How do you disarm a monk without maiming them?

>>52333812
You can't. They're just citizens, visitors, and traders. NO ONE would tolerate a lord who just starts maiming people. He'd get his ass overthrown in a week, sooner if one of the guards just decides to end the madness of Olaf Hand-Stealer.

File: Carrot-Ironfoundersson.jpg (79KB, 500x789px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 500x789px

>>52324578
this is how one Captain Carrots

>>52319131
That wouldn't actually work. The laws that Messers bypass are guild construction regulations, not carry laws.

>>52333812
Give them a sword. They lose all their powers.

File: snug smug.jpg (45KB, 540x559px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 540x559px

>>52326089
>when you can't buy a kitchen knife without an ID and the muslims have been raping your family all month but at least you can feel a sense of superiority that you don't have any of those horrible scary guns around

>>52325709
Are you gonna tell fucking Gandalf that he can't keep his staff? That guard had to have balls to even ask him once.

>>52334788
>when you can't buy a kitchen knife without an ID
Good thing you're an adult with an ID

>the muslims have been raping your family

>not living in the country where you can legally own a shotgun
>not being able to defend you and yours with your own two arms

>>52318673
I want a setting where city guards are required to take Wizardry lessons throughout their careers. Like a secondary training course that carries over after you graduate into the force.

>>52324243
Somatic components.

File: M16A1.jpg (58KB, 800x191px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 800x191px

Good thing my gun isn't a sword or spear

>>52324009
*unlaces dick*

Is magic common in this setting, or at least in this particular location? If so:

"Look, buddy, if somebody tries to mug me within the city walls or something else happens, would you rather I use a sword or devastating magical spells?"

If not, I'll just blow a use of Greater Invisibility.

File: great axe.png (287KB, 843x843px) Image search: [Google]

287KB, 843x843px

>>52318564
I waltz in with my big ass battle axe

>>52326771
Fuck off, Stirner.

File: Sprite_ShieldKnight_run03.png (4KB, 99x96px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 99x96px

>>52318564
Can I keep my shield, though?

File: russian-482x700.jpg (86KB, 482x700px) Image search: [Google]

86KB, 482x700px

"Shyore thyeenk oafeesore. No sord no speer? Ees okee with me"

>>52335248
>your own two arms

You probably can't even curl fifty pounds, bitchbaby. Have fun being cucked.

>>52334788
sleep snug, smug.

File: SoulEdge_SC2.jpg (25KB, 512x512px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 512x512px

>>52318564
This is clearly a discriminatory policy against fine upstanding and well meaning, citizens such as myself. To bar myself and my fellows from your city is meant to support the ranged weapon supremacy!

>>52318564
''It seems i found a fief for my monastery ti rule over.''

''What was that citizen?''

''Oh nothing. Here's my spear. Do take care not top loose it.'' *claps his shoulder*

23 hours and 59 minutes later a guard died of heart attack in the middle of his patrol.

>>52318903
You're a good player. I like you.