ITT: "What were the writers thinking?" moments

>>52285484
What's wrong with that?

>>52285484
The only issue I see is that I think it says you spend your Standard Action to increase the reach, but that would leave you with no action with which to attack.
But I think that's just because it's poorly worded. The intention is intuitive.

What did you have in mind, OP?

>>52285500
I think it was supposed to be a Williams sisters troll.

Off topic though.

>>52285540
No, it's not clear at all. If you use your standard action you can't full attack or attack normally, and as it ends at your turn end you can't AoO with it.

Lunge just makes your reach increase. This wastes your standard action for no reason.

>FATAL.png

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>>52285484

>>52286979

> Hit>Def
> Def<Hit

Those are the same fucking thing. Why is it there twice?

>>52286979
>>52287002
Oh come on, using that game is basically cheating.

Still funny though.

Reposting from /5eg/, more like "what was the company thinking" though

>>52287180
>Reposting from /5eg/, more like "what was the company thinking" though
I am fucking retarded. Don't multitask and post, kids.

How does WotC manage to be so fucking retarded? How can they mismanage so badly what could easily be the best edition of D&D?
>Barely any content released in, what, three years?
>What's been released is mostly decent or pretty good, with strokes of genius sometimes, but also a lot of "what the fuck were they thinking" stuff.
>Unearthed Arcana (save for a couple of brilliant releases) has been rather uninspired and/or unbalanced
>Yesterday's UA. No further commentary is necessary.
>Release D&D Beyond 3 years later than they should have
>C&D great (free) D&D tools
>shitty P2W MMO tie-in that literally nobody gives a flying fuck about, when they could have sold the rights to an actually competent game company like Obsidian and let them make new cRPGs
>C&D the guy who was making an UA Codex (this pisses me off to no end)
>Make the FR the default setting, which would not be so bad if they actually bothered to fix stuff. The SCAG and SKT's info conflict each other, for fuck's sake. Also Mystra died but she's fine lmaooo
>Barely any support for Eberron, and NONE AT ALL for any other.

God fucking dammit. I could go on and on and on.
It would not bother me so much if D&D 5e was actually bad. The problem is that they're so close to greatness, so fucking close to a new golden age of D&D... And they fuck up massively.

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>>52285484
https://media.wizards.com/2017/dnd/downloads/20170213_Wizrd_Wrlck_UAv2_i48nf.pdf
Hi.

>>52287192
>NONE AT ALL for any other.
What about Curse of Strahd?

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>>52287045
Mea culpa, that's my notes for the combat system.

>>52287140
Are you trying to say that this game isn't an absolute masterpiece?

>>52287273
>Atlantasia
What is this shit?

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>>52287320
It's a good game.

>>52287273

So does this guy actually do anything with his newfound immortality, or does he just nerd out over current affairs? Does it elaborate on how he obtained the Medallion of Thoughtcrime?

>>52287353
>none of these last 12 potions work
AAAHIEEUGH

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>>52287362
No, as most of the DMPCs in the book, he just kind of hangs around.

>>52287242
That's an adventure, it barely touches on Ravenloft itself.

>>52287373
>>52287353
Byoutiful.

>>52287386

>No matter what you do or how well you cover it up, people will find out you killed this reptile that does only one unusual thing.
>Owe a "quest" to a deity for undefined reason.

Sounds like a quick and easy way to summon a god. Is there any actual defined punishment beyond running errands? What book is this from anyway?

>>52287002
>>52287273
>>52287353
>>52287386
what game are these from?

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>>52287448
>What book is this from anyway?
Don't let the name 'GM Bible' fool you, this is the core book for players (what few you may have) too.

>>52287273
I remember reading the pdf that was shared (by you, I guess?) There was not a single paragraph that didn't make me go 'wut' in it.

So in a sense it is a spectacular work and a triumph of will over good judgement, true.

>>52287475
This book is 545 pages long. It does not have a contents. It does not have an index. It has multiple blank pages for no readily apparent reason.

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>>52287475
>>52287500
Oh, and in case anybody's desperate for one, here's the character sheet. It was originally a whole bunch of .docx files.

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>>52287470
The Realms of Atlantasia.
One thing is reading it, a whole different thing entirely is trying to play it.

>>52287483
>by you, I guess
Might have been, but I'm not the only one posting about the game.

>>52287513
Neat, thanks. I've been using homemade sheets so far.

>>52287565
Holy shit is that little speech he gives supposed to be clever?

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>>52287565
>I've been using homemade sheets so far.
For what purpose? Surely you're not playing it?

Speaking of character sheets, the length of a character sheet doesn't always correlate to a system's quality. World of Synnibarr's character sheet is only two pages long (one of which is just two columns of line for recording skills and abilities/spells), and it's entirely shit. However, SenZar, a pretty good system, has this monstrosity. Who thought having this in the core book was a good idea? (some of the pages are actually from supplements, but the core version's only about a page shorter)

>>52287565
Based on the encounter tables an average city-dweller encounters Par-traxx the supreme deity once every 30 years or so just on dumb luck alone, btw.

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>>52287589
Yes, the author really is that fucking dense.

>>52287610
>For what purpose?
So far just for running it on /tg/.
But I do want to get some guys and run a oneshot in it. I've seriously been thinking about GMing it at a local con.

>>52287655
No wonder we know his exact height and weight. He's the least enigmatic "enigma" I've ever seen.

>>52287565
Oh god, these are gold. Can I get a copy to laugh at?

>>52287702
See >>52287475

>>52287677
>I do want to get some guys and run a oneshot in it. I've seriously been thinking about GMing it at a local con.
This must be the same sort of bizarre urge that's resulted in me having a copy of both Synnibarr 2E and its supplement on my shelf. Don't judge me, they were as-received-from-distributor new, and for the same prices they had in 1994/5.

>>52287655
Beats being dimension shifted because of dragon sex.

>>52287677

>ACatIsFineToo.png


How long is an "s.s" and "cycle"?

>>52287740
Is Synnibarr the one where you get bonus XP for calling out the GM fudging the rules?

>>52287817
1 semi-segment (s.s.) = 1 round of engagement
10 semi-segments = 1 segment
20 segments = 1 cycle

>>52287817
AFAIK s.s is a round and cycle is a month.

>>52287817
1 turn of combat = 1 semi-segment (s.s.)
10 semi-segments = 1 segment
20 segments = 1 cycle
80 cycles = 1 season (except the Chaos Season, which is 40 cycles)
5 seasons ((4*80)+40 cycles) = 1 rebirth

The book never specifies how many seconds a s.s. is.

>>52287854
A cycle is a day.

>>52287844
If the players dispute a ruling, and the GM is found to be wrong, the player may receive double XP for the entire adventure, but if the player is wrong, then they can be penalised.
There's another one where if the GM starts diverging from RAW and the players find out, the entire adventure can be declared null and void, and the characters reset to where they were at the beginning. However, both of those rules come with big caveats saying that the GM can refuse to give you them if he doesn't want to/you've been calling bullshit on too much stuff.

>>52287853
Also, there are 80 cycles in four of the five seasons, and 40 in the 5th.

>>52287902
>The book never specifies how many seconds a s.s. is.
We can work backwards. A year is 360 days, a day is 200 s.s. If we assume a day is 20 hours, then a segment is an hour and a semi-segment is 6 minutes.

>>52287921
Which means that every single round of combat is six minutes long.

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>>52287853

>Semi means half
>10 half cycles make 1 full cycle

The more I read, the stupider it makes me.

>>52287943
Hey, if you want we can start with the AD&D minute-long round. That makes every day 200 minutes long. Or 3 hours 20 minutes.

>>52287943
Gremlins roll 16 D12 every s.s for damage, so 6 minutes sounds about right.

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>>52287964
You also need to take into account that every Season of Chaos you have a 30% chance to be thrown into another dimension due to cosmic dragon sex.

If a s.s. is 1 minute, then a year is 1200 hours, or 50 real world days.
Which means that every 50 real world days, you have a 30% chance of being killed by dragon fucking.

>>52287980
>Gremlins roll 16 D12 every s.s for damage
Jesus Christ, that's broken.

>>52287677
Okay, real talk, I actually really like the idea of a Druid learning shapes like a Wizard is learning spells, one by one, and "live as the animal" is great flavor, makes sense, and is a nice fluffy way to restrict and what shapes can be learned, as well as giving it a fluffy excuse to be down-time only.

But how the fuck does this even work? The spell doesn't say you actually transform. You get the benefit of being able to transform AFTER spending time as the animal. Would Druids be just like, hanging upside down in caves trying to be bats? Trying to flap their wings to fly, screech to echo-locate?

Make no mistake, the image is hilarious and explains why people think druids are crazy (and honestly even make some sense as being part of the process), but doing it 24/7? Not to mention an owl hunting the druid while he's trying to become a mouse or something.

Speaking of transforming, it doesn't say how often you can transform. Reading it as written, a low level druid is spending a season as a mouse (however long that is) to be able to turn into a mouse for 10ss (whatever THAT means).

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>>52285484

>>52288039
>Reading it as written, a low level druid is spending a season as a mouse (however long that is) to be able to turn into a mouse for 10ss (whatever THAT means).
He spends either 80 days or 40 days (depending one whether he does it in the Season of Chaos or not) to be able to turn into that chosen animal for six minutes.

Also note the huge jump in duration at level 100 (80 times, or 40 times if you cast it in the Season of Chaos).

Actually, do you transform immediately on the conclusion of the season's worth of living as the animal, and then have to do a whole season of study again to transform for maybe only six minutes? This spell is bull.

>>52288073
>for six minutes.
60 minutes, sorry. It's not quite that shit. Though why they didn't just write "1 segment" and "2 segments" is a bit confusing.

>>52288084
Maybe to imply the minimum duration? You can transform 1ss 10 times?

Either way, it's pretty stupid.

What are the numbers on people having access to this spell? How often will you find a druid-type person in the woods when hunting for rabbits? How often do Druids steal chickens when going through fox training?

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thanks white wolf

>>52288126
>internal meat grinders
>internal
>meat
>grinders
Jesus Christ.

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>>52288126
That's basically the evil version of this thing from Dudes of Legend. There's also a female version.

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>>52285484
This whole book

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>>52288039
>I actually really like the idea of a Druid learning shapes like a Wizard is learning spells, one by one, and "live as the animal" is great flavor
I agree, I just think it's hilarious that this guy wrote that entry, but for some reason decided that he really needed to specify that you need to do some fucking to learn that shape.
You'd think that the the multiple statements of "this isn't a spell you cast lightly" and "you really need to live like the animal" implied it, but this guy really wants to make sure that this will include some boning.
It doesn't even say you TURN INTO the animal, so it's just mandatory bestiality
And that's not even mentioning all the other insanity of it. What if you want to study a shark? Do you need to live underwater?
If you want to turn into a pigeon, do you need to hang eat bredcrumbs off the sidewalk and shit on statues?

Oh, and actually turning into an animal is a different spell.
The basic idea is good, but the execution is hilariously bad.

As for how it's done, I assume you can just cast Animal Study whenever you want, and if you already have that shape then you can just turn into it for a duration that scales with your level.

>>52287192
Welcome to the pain of a 4e fan. WotC turned lazy during 3.5 when they could sit back and have everyone and their mother making awful but inexplicably popular books for them, and forgot how to actually make anything themselves other than M:tG.

>>52288186
><NO DRAGONS>
He's really insistent about that, isn't he?

>>52288052
You a) need Proficiency with the Kit, and b) need the Kit.
Medicine isn't useless, it's just not going to let you instantly heal people all the time. While there aren't any non-magical cures, the assumption would be that the ST will have a quest lined up.

>>52288155

They actually published this? I'm not sure how to feel about it. Post the Sacred Vagina

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>>52288219
Dragons are this guy's special snowflakes, and he loves them way too much for some players to fuck around with them.
Most of the texts about dragons are just how dragons are the coolest and the best, and will always shit on your player character if you try something the GM doesn't approve.

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>>52288231
>Post the Sacred Vagina
I'll do you one better. DoL is an April Fool's supplement, and it is glorious.

>>52288256

>April Fools supplement

That explains it. Do you remember Scroll of Swallowed Darkness for Exalted?

>>52287565
Just how many times has this guy been accosted to the point where he siccs his pet phoenix on people and turns into a chaos dragon and is still being bothered?

>>52285484
Wow, it's literally nothing. As in it doesn't help you at fucking all.
D&D 5E
>Heat Metal
>Lol the save lets you keep your sword so its balanced
>Lol armor what's that

>>52287215
The warlock stuff was ok
The lore wizard was offensive.

>>52288212
>>52287192
I just started 5e and man, they tossed out so many good ideas from 4e just to appease whiny shits that moved on to Pathfinder (which at this point is better than 3.5 ever was).

>>52288279
>Do you remember Scroll of Swallowed Darkness for Exalted?
Yep. Do you want me to post it?

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>>52288212
>>52288336
Life is suffering

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>>52288359

Nah, I got it. Didn't the devs say that if this sold well enough, they'd turn it into a full, official splat? We almost had a complete Swallowing Darkness Style. Maybe there's a homebrew for it, though.

>>52287565
What I love about that, especially the first sections, is that it reads like notes on an NPC in Dwarf Fortress, or some other game with procedurally generated NPCs.

>>52288024
So roughly once every 150 days?
That sounds about right.

>>52288470
I would not be surprised if it was random rolled (at some point anyway).

>>52287565
>scatter their atoms across every known dimension and plane of existence and...

THAT was the one. I saw this screencap in a Mary Sue thread about three years ago, forgot which game and character it was, and have since made two threads asking about it. Par-traxx from Atlantasia. God bless you OP, this has been bugging the shit out of me.

>>52288336
>Pathfinder (which at this point is better than 3.5 ever was)
Don't make me laugh. Paizo broke more than they fixed.

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>>52288474
Essentially, yes.
Statistically speaking, "dragon mating dance" has to be the most common reason for death in Atlantasia.

>>52288598
Glad I could help.
I'm not OP though.

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>>52287565
>he can't destroy anything or anyone
>he tears people into component atoms and scatters them across the multiverse, killing almost anyone and driving the sole survivor insane

>>52288607
I don't like PF, but I honestly disagree; at least as long as you include 3rd party stuff (to cover the vacuum left by no ToB), PF is at least on par with, and in many respects better than 3.5.

Hell, even core-to-core it's arguably better balanced than 3.5 (not that that's a high bar, but yeah).

Archetypes replacing prestige classes alone is an A+ change. Then there's the extra material that later got added, like Weapon/Armor Master's handbook that lets even the worst classes hover up to t3 if you use them.

Broken game elements are also way less frequent. The difference between an optimized and unoptimized character are still pretty huge, but you actually have to hunt down gamebreaking shit; no Pun-pun in PF.

Also, free online material.

Overall, I see no reason to play 3.5 over PF. If you are really missing something, you can just port it over.

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>>52288221
>need Proficiency with the Kit
Nothing about it says you need proficiency.

>>52288688
It does say it's a 30% chance that someone in the group will be caught. With 4-5 people in the group, the odds are better than 1/3 that you survive scalysextimes.

>>52288688
Wait, so its a 30% chance one person in the group gets pulled. That makes 0 sense, because that means that in a group of 1000000 theres roughly a one in 3000000 chance of you getting pulled, but if youre alone its a one in three.

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>>52288734
That's actually right, according to the precise wording. I remembered it as "30% chance that someone is taken".

Does this mean that there's 30% chance that someone in every group will be caught, and if so, does it mean that the best way to survive dragon fucking season is to gather as many people as possible in one big group?

>>52288757
>That makes 0 sense
Nothing in this book makes sense.

>>52288779
>does it mean that the best way to survive dragon fucking season is to gather as many people as possible in one big group?

That's actually a good story hook; The Chaos Dragons are coming, and the countryside is emptying as everyone floods to the nearest city to wait out The Scalying. Columns of people halfway between refugees and holidayers (if it happens a couple times a year, people are used to and and would be prepared to bring goods to the massive markets) flooding down roads, the brave or the desperate taking the opportunity to loot the abandoned towns before rushing to the city at the last possible moment...

I take it back, this game is amazing.

>>52288393
It's a pity because as crazy as it was, it fit well with the setting.

And making a martial art out of the act of sex is just brilliant. Even if you forget about some of the side effects.

>>52288883
Entire societies designed around avoiding getting pulled into dragon sex.

>>52288883
>I take it back, this game is amazing.

Yeah, I was thinking that too. If taken at face value, everyone has ridiculous shit happen to them all the time, be it a druid trying steal their carrots while tunneling like a mole, a demigod just walking down the street, or dragonfucking whiskering away people... and that's the "normal". It's like a less coherent Sigil.

>>52288904
>making a martial art out of the act of sex
>not turning a martial art into sexytimes
I am now going to develop a fantasy culture that has a method of courting involving two martial artists beating the shit out of each other until they finally just rut.

>>52288986
So like... Klingons?

>>52285500
It takes a Standard action to attack. By the rules as written here, you're spending a Standard action to increase your reach. Nowhere does it say you may attack on this action, all it does is increase your reach. It's effectively useless.

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>>52288883
See, I love this. Taking the book literally, by the letter even, and working with that.

For example, each year, a Priest of Rho-dain must found a new temple, complete with a High Priest.
If you're unable to do this, you die.

And logically, this High Priest must himself start a temple each year. Meaning the faith must grow exponentially, or else the priests start dying off.
It's insane when you realise that it's just there because the author is a complete moron who isn't able to understand the consequences of his rules, but taken at face value it's a cool setting element.

>>52289067
At least he realises that a priest of Rho-dain can "call upon a great force of Priest, Priestesses and champions from around the world".

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>>52289094
That's actually great.

The book doesn't even tell you explicitly what the temples believe in, you just kind of have to infer it from their chores and their spell list. I have no idea what most of them are gods of, they just kind of exist.

Look at these guys, the Priesthood of Bahl-inn-orr. These guys are essentially mercenary warrior priests that need to constantly seek out wars and battles to participate in.

Again, this would be kind of a terrible class as a player character unless you campaign features a lot of mass combat, but as a setting elements it's delightfully weird.

These guys:
>>52287002
Are probably the worst/best of them all. They need to start at least 2 wars per season (which means 10 wars per year), as well as one new street gang every year. It's so weird.
But it means that the entire world of Atlantasia need to been constantly engulfed in war, as the existence of just 100 Priests of Magg-eth means that there's 1000 new wars started every year. They even have to start two wars during dragon fucking season.

>>52288904

Well, we still have Blue Slut style. Which is about as close as we can get.

>>52289067
>>52289094
>Priesthood of Rho-dain consists of old men and suicidal NEETs

>>52289221
>They need to start at least 2 wars per season (which means 10 wars per year), as well as one new street gang every year.

This reminds me of War in Soul Music.

When the apocalypse was coming and Death was gathering up the riders, he found that War was amusing himself by watching a battle... between ant colonies.

Maybe you can loophole it out by stretching the definitions of wars.

>>52285484
You seem to be under the impression that writers didn't make this on purpose to shit on martials. This smells like Paizo, Paizo already confirmed they have no intention of making martials as good as casters or even remotely playable

>>52289292
>starting flamewars on the internet counts
>spend all day shitposting to complete your holy duties

>>52288300

He apparently gets hassled often enough that his ultimate attack, which has a flat 1% survival chance, has a single survivor wandering the world. So, we know he probably ults around 100 times a generation. Call it a little under twice a year. Plus, an unknown number of fights where it ended before that.

Now consider that in these fights, as his first attack, after moving on from talking this shit out, is to unleash his 75 foot long goddam phoenix. That means at least twice a year, but probably way more often than that, this huge, highly visible bird gets whipped out. and no one knows about it.

Guys, I think this setting might not be well thought out.

>>52288986
Also possible, and given the usage of techniques like receiving the thrust, Swallowing Darkness style is perfect for both.

Of course, there were canon charms devoted to sex anyway, like the Alchemical's "Thousandfold Courtesan Calculations" which made you the best at sex.
It was technically a totally legit and setting appropriate option to make some kind of sex-changing sacred prostitute robot god who can change their limbs into sex toys.

Who later becomes a city.

>>52289310
Considering their description that sounds extremely likely

>they allow for the most fun
>if your idea of fun is trolling on anonymous imageboards

>you can blend into the crowd
>because you are anonymous

>>52287905
>Also, there are 80 cycles in four of the five seasons, and 40 in the 5th.

So if a ss is 10 seconds, about the longest combat round I've heard of, a 'season' is about 2 days.

>>52289311
I think he might get hassled by people who want to see the phoenix, honestly. I mean, he can't destroy you (apparently tearing you into atoms doesn't count), so you get to see a cool firebird and even a Chaos Dragon that isn't fucking you into another dimension if you want to keep pushing.

Then you say "thanks Par-traxx, sorry to bug you" and walk off.

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This thread is fucking amazing. This Atlantasia shit is like if Terry Pratchett tried to write a generic straitlaced fantasy novel about discworld without a humor bone in his body.

>>52289527
But the book says that no one knows about the phoenix, and that atom thing has a 99% mortality rate.

>While Par-traxx cannot destroy anything or anybody (after all, he is THE creator), this has been known to kill any this happens to (there is 1 person who survived and now wanders Atlantasia babbling to himself as he attempts to organize all the information his mind holds now <you have a 1% chance of surviving this attack>)

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>"This can literally stop a target's heart"
>1% chance to actually stop heart

>>52289606
That's true. I guess my assumption should be that the one guy got really lucky. It does raise the question of why he has a specified pattern for dealing with abuse, though, and why Par-traxx doesn't do something like 'teleport this jerk a couple kilometers away and continue with his day'.

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>>52285484

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>>52289700
>why Par-traxx doesn't do something like 'teleport this jerk a couple kilometers away and continue with his day'
Because he's the author's self-insert character, and a power fantasy.

>>52289738
That's disappointing. You'd imagine that if gender was going to come up, Friend Computer would insist on the most stereotypical 1950's roles.

>spies come by to make sure that men are reading the newspaper aloud to their spouse and children every breakfast, but never finishing a column and instead offering their own opinions (opinions are required to disparage government officials as boneheads, any disparagement of government officials is treason)
>There's a secret seamstress movement to alter the dresses of housewives so they can actually do the chores

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>>52289738

>Half a sidebar dedicated to gender identity
>No "gender identity" field visible in the char sheet
>Hetero is illegal; homo is okay

Is this paranoia? When did this shit happen?

>>52289739
Why is every name in this world hyphenated? People, gods, places...

Also,
>manipulate 1 leader of a country to declare war by staging a siege every 2 rebirths

Are these guys allowed to work with the 'must start 10 wars a year' guys? Seems like that would be a great loophole: Magg-eth's priests team up with Gorr-nay-Mar's priests to start a war by organizing a siege, both sides hire Bahl-inn-orr's priests to be mercenaries (meeting their 'foreign army' requirement), they fight one battle mostly for show so Bahl-inn-orr's priests can lead a regiment, then they all go home.

Why are all the gods in this setting obsessed with war? Not even war for a holy purpose, to win back some sacred land or force everyone to believe something, just start and perpetuate a random war.

>>52289848
Kickstarter

>>52289669
8d20 is already pretty fucking severe under most circumstances. Overall the chances of a kill would seem to be a lot higher than 1%.

>>52288986
Like echani in kotor ii?

>>52289869

>Kickstarter

Was this asked for by the fans, or was it just shoehorned in by the devs? I'm not seeing it as an explicit stretch goal.

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>>52289869
A few of the gods are not massive assholes, but that tends to be the norm. If they're not obsessed with war, they're usually just plain dumb. There's for example a god of assassins who requires his priest to assassinate three people for money each year, and also hire an assassin once a year.
I suppose it's to keep the assassin economy healthy.

>Are these guys allowed to work with the 'must start 10 wars a year' guys?
Maybe? This book doesn't even have rules for movement, things are very seldom explained.

>>52289928
A weak City Guard is at least a level 10 fighter, meaning he has on average 52 health, and probably won't survive.

But a Hooker has "level 25 thief abilities and level 10 assassin abilities", which may mean that a Hooker strictly speaking should have the health of a level 35 thief/assassin? Or 70d6 health, with an average of 245. Giving the Hooker a good chance to survive.
Because Hookers are incredibly powerful for some reason.

>>52289848
>Hetero is illegal; homo is okay
Reminder that Friend Computer is INSANE, which actually makes it come off as a dig at the idea's stupidity from my point of view.
Still, it would be better as something like this: >>52289797

>>52290269

Yeah, no. It just comes off as ham handed, is all. The entire sidebar could be removed and nothing would be lost.

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>>52285484

>>52290167
What's the punishment for these guys if they fail to be loving enough?

>reverse the effects of at least 1 act of the Priesthood of Magg-eth
>search out and ease 1 broken heart

OK. I now firmly believe that these priests are running a scam on the gods. All these war-monger priests stage conflicts and break up families, then these folks come along and put everything right. It's all a big performance to make these crazy gods think they have loyal worshippers and keep them from going off-script with their divine dickery, while the common folk benefit from the magic of the priests and are more concerned with getting the crops in before the Chaos Dragons start the Biannual Boneathon.

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>>52290382

>>52290306
While many changes I've heard of in the new version irk me, I do like the idea that Friend Computer has no problem with homosexuality, simply because it has no idea what it is.

Its databanks know that sex is between a man and a woman for reproduction, so it can't comprehend anything else.

Which means that if you want to have straight sex, you need to dress up to confuse Friend Computer.

(The question is asking Friend Computer if it just assumed your gender grounds for termination or not. And the answer is yes.)

>>52290417
I want rules for fighting giant monsters in 5E.

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>>52290417

>>52290499
Yeah honestly as much as I get why people would get angry over this I think that the idea of Friend Computer not having protocols for handling gays because its 1950s computer databases never even mention them kind of clever

>>52290417
fuck off 5e is the only good e

>>52289001
>>52285500
Also it is "Until the end of your turn" meaning it increases, you can do nothing with it because no action, and it decreases. Meaning you can't even use it for AoEs unless an enemy somehow threatens one while on your turn. They'd have to do something like "Have a readied action to attack with an unarmed strike without Improved Unarmed when he uses Monkey Lunge" to trigger that.

>>52290746
thats not how you spell 2e you pleb

>>52290763
sorry if i'm looking for an actual combat system

>>52290744
Yeah. Also, the idea that because everyone's drugged up on libido suppressants, and everyone's a clone, you can call yourself whatever sex you want to and no one cares.
It's the colour of your jumpsuit that's important, not what you've got inside it.

Of course, in the style of old Paranoia, I now kind of want there to be a group of Troubleshooters all with the same name, but from different sectors. Mypronouns-R-(HIM/HER/ITT/HIR/ETC)

>>52290763
And that's not how you spell BECMI or RC.

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>>52290389
>What's the punishment for these guys if they fail to be loving enough?
Kahlah takes your best spells and your cash. The gods in this setting are really into getting that gold.

>Mortals are running an elaborate scam on the gods
See, if that was the actually intention of the setting it would be amazing.

>>52289738
Oh, have a sense of humor. Aren't Bible-thumpers always going on about how the LGBT agenda is ultimately about making heterosexuality illegal? Sounds like a perfect addition to a dystopian setting like Paranoia.

>>52287565
It's a good thing he's secretly God - since he can't be touched he needs to be secretly using shenanigans of that kind to avoid falling into the center of the setting's gravity well.

>>52289738
Huh, I kinda assumed that Friend Computer would have drugs in the water to suppress all sexual urges.

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>>52290945
Literally the first thing mentioned.

It's just that when it happens (and there are some secret societies where you can get "natural food," without the hormone suppressants) Friend Computer has a very limited concept as to what sex is.

Which of course, knowing Alpha Complex means there's probably a secret society dedicated to bringing sex to the masses, without really knowing anything about it.

>>52288688
So, wait, their scales are 40 to 80 feet long? How big is the actual Chaos Dragon!?

>>52289669
I mean, it's technically correct.

>>52289669
>>52291272
It's not like people have not live through stopped heart before. Defibrillation is a thing for a reason.

>>52291304
Yeah, heart stopping is relatively easy to fix.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_izvAbhExY

>>52291304
Yeah, but heart stopping is listed as an alternative to damage, is the thing. It doesn't actually stop unless you roll that 100, and apparently in that case NO damage is dealt.

>>52287433

It's pretty clear this is going to be the new style. Instead of a specific adventure path and a specific setting book we're going to get a single book that contains a loose adventure path that can be stripped for parts.

I'm actually kinda digging it.

>>52288052

Once again, you have a lot of options that are slightly different from each other and have slightly different costs, and you pick from the list what parts you actually care about and don't take the ones that you don't.

This didn't used to be a bad thing.

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Alteration is a really shitty spell.
The reason it's so bad is because although it can make a city within a certain size look like another city (this is an incredibly situational spell), you'd still know that the city was there. If Not-Paris has been in the same location for 1000 years, and it one day suddenly looks like another city from outside, what good is that going to do? Any maps would be the same, and anyone who knows the area would still know which city lies in that location.

This spell only really does anything if you desperately need to hide a city from someone who doesn't have a map and doesn't know the area, but can recognise the city from appearance.

>>52291304
>It's not like people have not live through stopped heart before
It's more about the fact that the way it's written makes it seem like there's only a 1% chance that the heart actually stops, and that the other 99% of the time it just does nebulous damage.

And if it stops there's no damage listed. So I think that means it's an instant kill.

>>52291105
I guess their entire body is covered in Predator dreads.

>>52291531
>still know that the city was there. If Not-Paris has been in the same location for 1000 years, and it one day suddenly looks like another city from outside, what good is that going to do? Any maps would be the same, and anyone who knows the area would still know which city lies in that location.


You say that like reliable maps are an inerrant part of history. In fact, that isn't the case.

The exact location of moscow, for example, was a state secret of the Soviet Union until satellite photography nailed it down.

>>52290794
then you are looking for 4e, and you are also a faggot.

>>52291531
"Camelot!"
"Camelot!"
"Camelot!"
"It's only a hamlet with Alteration cast upon it."
"Shh!"

>>52291794
>The exact location of moscow, for example, was a state secret of the Soviet Union until satellite photography nailed it down.
How the actual fuck do you hide your capital city? Did they just not print any maps?
I understand WHY they would try to hide it, but fucking how?

>>52291531
But it could make an immense stronghold look run down and weak, or a puny outpost could become a mighty fortress. It could camouflage artillery, it could summon imaginary walls, make a monstrous death maze out of flat farmland, or thoroughly hide fortifications behind a little magic curtain.

>>52292277
By RAW it seems like it can only be cast on cities.

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>>52289350
>>52289310
>>52289292
>mfw I realize that all of the wars in EVE Online are orchestrated by priests of Bahl-inn-orr.

>>52290709
>He doesn't read the Dungeon Masters Guide.

There is literally an optional rule that allows you to climb on creatures bigger than you so you can stab them in the face.

>>52287002
Atlantasia is love. Some excerpts from a dude who actually tried to play it.

>According to their description on page 69, goblins have a 20% chance of having armor. A roll of the dice indicates that Johann's opponent does not have armor. Any given goblin may or may not have a weapon. Since a goblin's fangs can potentially cause more damage than a broadsword (d12 vs d10), our goblin will just rely on his fangs.

>Attack order starts with the being having the highest dexterity and continues with successively lower dexterity scores until all combatants have attacked. I guess we roll a d10 for the goblin's dexterity. The result is 7; Johann goes first.

>We previously determined Johann's 'to hit' value at 25%. He attacks...and misses. We now roll “to determine how bad the miss is.” With a 14, the result is “player slips and hits them self [sic] (damage is at x2).”2 Let's just assume that the character hits himself. (Better him than me.) A quarterstaff does 1d6 and with a roll of 6, Johann does 12 Life Points of damage to himself. He has 1 Life Point left.

>It's now the goblin's turn; his 'to hit' value is 23%. He attacks...and misses! A roll of 31 on the 'miss' table means the goblin slips and does damage to himself. Specifically, the goblin loses 3 Life Points. Goblins get two attacks per semi-segment and with his second attack...he (barely) misses. On this occasion, the goblin does x2 damage to himself. He takes 8 Life Points of damage and is thus reduced to 24 Life Points.

>In the next semi-segment, Johann has first attack. However, thinking that the best tactic would be to allow the goblin to bite itself to death, Johann forgoes his attack. (My calculations indicate that, whenever Johann attempts an attack, he has a 26.5% chance of hurting himself. So, it is more likely that he will hit himself than an opponent.)

>>52292916
>The goblin lunges...and misses. Yes, he manages to hit himself again. He takes an additional 11 Life Points of damage; he has 13 Life Points left. On his second attack...he hits. Upon a successful hit, the goblin "must determine where the attack connects" by rolling on the placement chart. A roll of 64 means "chest & upper arms (roll for which and which arm)." 3 Uh, OK...Let's say even = chest and odd = upper arms. Our realistic method of determination indicates that the attack connects with Johann's chest. Now the goblin must determine the precision of the attack by rolling on the precision table; this will affect the amount of damage inflicted. Depending on the number rolled, the attack could do anywhere from x¼ damage to x10 damage. The goblin rolls 28, meaning no damage multiple.

>Now, Johann makes a defense calculation. His total defense is 36%, which is greater than the goblin's 'to hit' %, and so he rolls on a certain table. (Had his defense been lower than the opponent's to hit roll, he would roll on a different table.) With a roll of 90, the result is "attack glances off armor (0 damage, armor takes 1d4 off durability)." YESSS! Johann still has a chance! The durability of Johann's chest armor is reduced to 8.

>With a smile of grim determination, Johann forgoes his attack in the third semi-segment. The goblin attacks...and misses. A roll of 94 on the 'miss' table means “weapon glances off opponent's armor taking 1d4 off durability.” Does the armor lose durability? The weapon? Both? Let's call it a wash. The goblin attacks again...and misses again. With a roll of 92 on the 'miss' table, it's the same result as before.

>It's the fourth semi-segment and Johann lets the goblin attack. He attacks...and misses. A roll of 10 on the 'miss' table means the goblin does x3 damage to himself. A roll of 12 for damage means the goblin takes 36 Life Points of damage. He's dead! Johann is the winner! Take that, punk! Mess with the best and die like the rest

>>52291099
At least in XP, hormone suppressants are optional for high-clearance citizens(although most of them use them anyway).

>>52293163

Is this Gangrape? That's basically cheating, you know.

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>>52291794
>You say that like reliable maps are an inerrant part of history. In fact, that isn't the case.
Which is largely irrelevant, because a lot of cities will be placed along natural features. Your map might not have the exact location of Paris, but you can still follow the common roads or follow the Seine. If you know that Edinburgh is on the southern shore of the Firth of Forth, you're going to find it, even if it looks a bit strange.

Not only that, but Atlantasia has rules for maps, and not only is map reading a pretty common skill, but maps are also plentiful and rather cheap. Consulting a Sage is also pretty cheap. And then there's magical aid.

>>52292277
That's not really what it says though. It just says that you think it's another city, or that it is otherwise altered to something you don't recognise.

I like the way you think, but let me show you another way Alteration is made useless:
To cast it, you need to be at least level 91, which means that you could just cast this spell instead, plus another spell that summons 4 siege engines, each big enough to hold 3000 troops.

>>52293163
Gangrape is a work of art.

>>52289739

Hang on, there's a potential paradox in that religion. Say there's a priest that does all their chores except for the "front 1 siege opportunity per season" one, and gets to the 3rd offense and is thus flung at an enemy castle as part of a siege opportunity. Does that not then count as fronting a siege opportunity and thus release them from the consequence?

>>52293725
>your soul is redeemed as your body crashes against the castle wall
>you get to be a priest again if you survive
That's metal as fuck.

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>>52292916
>>52292924

This is just magical

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>>52285484

>>52286098
>let's combine elves and dwarve into this

What the fuck were they thinking?

>>52287192
Still miles ahead of Pathfinder.

>>52288713
>archetypes are an A+ change
>out of dozens of archetypes only three are good
>the rest are straight downgrades

Almost all of Pathfinder's "rich and deep content" is useless and not worth delving into.

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>>52294604
Holy shit, I knew Numenera was bad but I didn't know it was this bad. The whole passage translates to "feminism is gr8" and the last part barely hides his plea for a woman to come dominate him and joke about his small dick.

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I didn't see the picture of this anywhere so idk if its in here but if not, this.

>>52292924
how do gob bit self

>>52290417
>>52290731
What went wrong to make Wizards think a PHB shouldn't have a cover actually featuring player characters?

>>52294924
The 4e PHB has a dragonborn Fighter (possibly Paladin or Warlord) and a human Wizard on it, standing side by side as equals.

The 5e PHB has the caster about to deliver a SoS/D targeting INT to the giant who has a 0 INT save, while the ranger is standing aside, mouth agape in awe of his caster overlord deeming it fit to end the fight.

>>52295055
It's really sad when you realize that its honestly how it would work in game for 5e. Caster supremacy is also hard to work around really.

>>52295096
I feel like I would enjoy 4e for some reason, even though I've never played it.

>>52292916
>>52292924
Sweet Pulsating Spider Christ- there needs to be a rule in those books that all combat must be accompanied by Yakety Sax.

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>>52295317

>>52292924
>>52292916

See, that just sounds like the strongest combat build would be to bulk up on armour and shields and specialise in making it harder and harder for your opponents to actually hit you rather than doing damage yourself.

>>52295055
The really fucked up thing about the 5e core books is that none of them feature a dungeon OR a dragon on their covers.

>>52294604
>>52294736

>It makes sense that the cultures and norms would be much more disparate and unique

They're all uniquely similar to the authors ideal, aren't they?

>>52294764
The whole thing, please.

>>52287273
Is it just me or does this guy sound like a self insert?

>>52296043
what tipped you off? the CAPS mid sentence, the use of parentheses for emphasis, or the DOUBLE parenthesis for DOUBLE emphasis (x100)

>>52295862
I dont feel like having any picture of the full thing on my computer, and I pray god forgives me for simply having a picture of the creature itself, but this page has all its stats and the really disturbing magic-realmy parts

http://www.d20pfsrd.com/bestiary/monster-listings/aberrations/drakainia/

>>52288231
To be fair dudes of legend was an april fools book where they took it in turn to tear the shit out of a lot of tropes of players and a lot of the old material from Old World of Darkness.

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>>52288052
You live in a world where "Potions of Healing" are a thing. You live in a world where a 1st-level cleric can cast a healing spell. You live in a world where the gods are active and some gods are very nice and will heal you if you ask them really nice.

No, medicine is not needed.

>>52293163
Dammit, because of >>52295317 I'm imagining Yakety Sax being played during the rape scene.

>>52296198

>Potions of Healing

Think there's good money in Alchemy? Do potions of healing need medical skills to make?

>>52294484
>players
>ritually killed

This is a joke, right?

>>52294764
>>52295862
>>52296127
That doesn't seem very magical-realmy; just over-the-top body horror.

>>52296290
If you want to call your character "Lars Enny the Thief" when the GM is trying to run a serious campaign, then you've got it coming.

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This whole thing. Great concept, but they fucked it up with such bizarre and uninteresting fluff.

>>52294484

What fucking game is this? Why can't I create a qtp2t explorer called Ayla Mao?

>>52296232
>Think there's good money in Alchemy?

Yes

>Do potions of healing need medical skills to make?

Probably

>>52296435
Weapons don't require fighting skills to make, so I don't see why medicine would require medical skills to make.

You'd probably need medical skills to develop new types of potions, or prescribe the proper potion to treat various afflictions.

>>52296472
>I don't see why medicine would require medical skills to make

You're a retard.

>>52296472
>I don't see why medicine would require medical skills to make

what is pharmacy school

>>52291794
>The exact location of moscow, for example, was a state secret of the Soviet Union until satellite photography nailed it down.
History Channel tier bullshit.

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>>52294625
>>52286098
I genuinely believe kender exist because some faggot wanted to to play a retarded "innocent" thief and gave 'I'm a gnome' or something as an excuse. And when people called them out that that's not what gnomes are like, they got assmad and made a homebrew race and that's why kender exist.

Now how they got PUBLISHED, that i have no fucking idea about

>>52296901
A. that is truth

B. Because that player was named Margeret Weis.

>>52296901
They weren't originally that shit.

>>52297322
I'm pretty sure they were thinking 'dare you enter my magical realm?'

>>52297656
Panda, Koala, when it comes down to it really, what's the big difference? Both can only eat one type of plant that's poisonous, they raise their babies on their poop, and the world won't miss them when they're gone.

>>52297699
I've literally never seen a different version of kender

And yet your dubs insist I don't dismiss you out of hand, have you any proof of non-shit kender?

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>>52297726
Bamboo isn't poisonous, it is just really low in nutrients, it is like living on celery. You eat bamboo shoots in your chicken chow mien all the time.

>>52297656
>>52297770

God damn it anon, I just forgot about that shit. Post more

>>52297770
>Although the shoots (new culms that come out of the ground) of bamboo contain a toxin taxiphyllin (a cyanogenic glycoside) that produces cyanide in the gut, proper processing renders them edible.

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>>52297883
Have a template.

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>>52297770
>or a single horse
Why is it so specific?

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>>52297756
>I've literally never seen a different version of kender
The 1e description seems somewhat less glowing. The real difference is the Marak Kender, though.

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>>52298035
>Differentiating between thieves and 'handlers'
I'll tell you when I want you handling my junk, thanks.

>>52289001
>>52290750
this just seems like you're looking at the rules too literally. It's clearly meant to be an upgraded lunge attack, the wording is just poor.

>>52298126
Well, unless they put out a 'we screwed up' errata, it at least shows that they didn't care enough about keeping the wording of their rules consistent to do the proofreading. It might have been rushed as part of a big update and not double-checked, but it still seems like a pretty big oversight.

>>52287565
>his exact height and weight are common knowledge
>also he weighs less than 40 kilos
>but nobody knows that his familiar is a humongous phoenix even though he unleashes it every time he has a spergout

>>52297919
>furvert
kek

>>52289739
How many countries are there that these rulers don't eventually catch on about all the sieges that aren't actually their rivals?

>>52289067
>perform at least 10 removal of dead/season
>eventually, there are so many Priests of Rho-dain that the dead no longer outnumber them 10:1 and the priests start dying into an equilbrium point where there are enough of the dead for the remaining priests to remove
>next plague: run out of potential convertites
>eventually, the entire world consists of panicking Rho-dainites murdering each other so they can perform last rites, then getting murdered in turn by another priest killstealing to live, etcetera
>during all this, Rho-dain ain't give a fuck

>>52298511
Couldn't you just have a baby, baptize it or whatever, then kill and bury it?

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>>52294764
>Not posting the whole page

>>52298625
You still require an upkeep of 50 dead per priest per year.

>>52294736
>The whole passage translates to "feminism is gr8" and the last part barely hides his plea for a woman to come dominate him and joke about his small dick.

What? You're talking shit. The first two paragraphs are simply about diversity and saying that their fictional world is not the real one. The last paragraph just says maybe there could be a matriarchial society. It comes off as a bit PC and preachy but the content is actually very bland.

Seriously, if your post was serious then you must either be some completely brainwashed alt-right paranoiac or have a major repressed femdom fetish.

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You know, another thing to take into consideration is that many priesthood chores are per season, and a normal season is 80 days long.
But the chaos dragonfucking season is just 40 days long, meaning that all the priests have only half the time to complete their duties. For many of them, failure means banishment, torture or death.

So at the same time as everyone in the world should be converging in great groups to avoid being cast away by the power of scaly dick, all the insane priests of the world will be working twice as hard to start wars, fight battles, and perform final rites.
The majority of the priests are only really skilled in magic, and probably rely heavily on that to finish their duties. But in the chaos season, magic gets wonky and incredibly dangerous, meaning all these already desperate priests either have to risk casting altered chaos magic or will have to work even harder to do it all without magic.

This priesthood frenzy alone has to be more chaotic than the dragon themselves, and much more dangerous.

>>52298710
It would solve the need for exponential priest growth, which means the rest of the population could provide enough bodies.

Alternatively, have 50 babies per year.

>>52298814
>What? You're talking shit. The first two paragraphs are simply about diversity and saying that their fictional world is not the real one. The last paragraph just says maybe there could be a matriarchial society.
The REASONING, though. I'm not even the guy you're replying to but the logic in there is beyond fucktarded. "Hurf durf there's no communications so it can be more diverse" is straight up drinking the kool-aid of feminism, specifically the doctrine that gender roles are "cultural" and socially imposed on the world by the regressive, evil West, rather than having existed everywhere throughout all of history (because that would really fuck up their doctrine, so they can't admit it). If you don't think feminism is great, you don't believe flat-earth-equivalent nonsense like that. It's too stupid even for regular stupid people.

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>>52298035
alright.

now I've never READ a different version of Kender.

>>52299073
Did you read the Marak Kender bit at the end?

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Dark Heresy 2e errata, v1.2

>>52299210
>pulver

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This thread make brain hurt

>>52299309
What's wrong with this? It's literally blocking a pistol-whip, right?

>>52299309
i dont get it, whats the problem?

>>52299493
>>52299574
Melee combat here refers to combat at melee range, not literally using a pistol as a melee weapon.
That said it still seems perfectly reasonable

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>>52294604
(((Diversity)))

Goddammit, /pol/ was right yet again.

>>52299493
No, it's knocking somebody's gun away so they don't hit a point-blank shot.

I also don't see the problem.

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guess where it's from :^)

>>52299636
>/pol/
>right
>ever
neck yourself

>>52299710
>/pol/
>being left
>ever
what dimension did you come from and how do we destroy it?

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>>52299710
>another liberal having a meltdown

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>>52299165
I did, it literally reads like someone looked at the kender faggotry and went "Well I'll fix THIS". And that person was fifteen years old and wearing black nail polish.

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>>52299730
>>52299742
come say it to my face so I can shoot you for being on my property.

>>52299778
>t. Texas

>>52299796
yes ma'am

>>52296110
I got the impression that's just the guy's writing style. I know I tend to use parentheses within parentheses occasionally, though that's largely because I have a programming background and so I'm used to that sort of thing.

It's more that the description tries a little too hard to not have the guy seem like just a regular dude with a few changes, like what's his face the double secret god is his regular pc and this guy is meant to be a standin for the writer.

>>52296472
>Weapons don't require fighting skills to make
false
to make a good weapon you have to know how it would be used
you're not going to make a rapier for the guy charging into battle on a horse

>>52301646
>you have to know how it would be used
That doesn't mean you have to know how to use it.

>>52301698
There's a difference between knowing how someone uses it and being able to do those things yourself

>>52285484
most 2E modules

>>52301727
That's what I was trying to say.

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Rolled 67 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>52301825
wtf

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>>52301825

>>52293163
SOMEBODY

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>>52293163
I'm frightened and yet curious

>>52301899
ONCE

>>52301867
I got bored once, and calculated the maximum dick size in the game. If you're an anakim with the right "mutations" and godlike rolls, you'd have a dick over seven feet long.

>>52299309
If you're going to post from 2e, post the actual shit like the fire selector or the auxiliary grenade launcher.

>>52302065
TOLD ME

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>>52302660
『THE WORLD』IS GONNA ROLL ME

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>>52299210
>Our system is supposed to have everything.
>But...I don't want to add it Steve.
>Add the Catgirls.

You don't even need fetish RPGs.

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>>52301932

It's an unlicensed therapeutic exercise masquerading as a TTRPG where the basic idea is that the "rapists" narrate what physically happens but the "victim" narrates everyone's emotional response to it.

It's an odd thing, shaped a bit like itself, and I for one don't think that it should ever be played in real life, but as a think-piece on the assumptions we make about "games" and how they're written and structured it does have some interesting mechanics.

Content's shit, but interesting mechanics.

>>52289848
>Is this paranoia?

It literally is, yes.

>>52289848
Friend Computer just outlawed natural procreation, everybody is a clone

>>52289738
If there is absolutely no gender discrimination in Alpha Complex and hormones are suppressed then how is gender identity strong enough for anyone to be trans? There aren't even any gender roles for you to fit into or not fit into.

>>52296198
A world where all those things are common is a boring one.

>>52302956
Probably secret society's fault. Alternatively, gender identity exists solely because a group of High Programmers are having propaganda fights over the issue because they have nothing better to do with their time, leading to entire habs developing as genderfluid or trans or whatever because John-UV got a bug up his ass about it.

>>52289221
Obviously, Priests of Bahl-inn-orr have battles amongst eachother- each priest has a bunch of apprentices or warriors in training to join their platoon, and they split into two teams to fight against eachother in a 'play war' with blunted weapons.

At the very least, it means they're well trained.

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>4 mana 4/4
>Exiles a card the moment it enters
>Only requires one specific type of mana to cast
>"Hurr durr we don't test for modern"

>>52292194
The Soviet cartography division is actually a very interesting story. They had whole teams of infiltrators who's whole job was just to insert cartographers to study areas; maps recovered after 1989 show detailed maps of towns in the States down to individual buildings, perfect for planning a tank invasion. They also had things like the secret British dockyard at Chatham in great detail, when public British maps had nothing at all there.

In terms of how they hid Moscow, they didn't so much hide it as lie about where it was. They used a special random variation to warp civilian maps of the USSR (all civilian maps were based off a Soviet government map at 1:2,500,000 scale [for comparison, the Soviet military map of Scranton PA is at 1:10,000, and the maps made by American spy planes are at 1:250,000]), and any smaller maps of the Soviet Union were just blown-up versions of that map. The warping kept all the known features like rivers and notable cities, but slightly altered the coordinates, distances, etc. It made the maps functional for civilians, but impossible to use militarily.

Go look for a city you know and see every neighbourhood street neatly labelled in Cyrillic.
https://www.sovietmaps.com/

>>52297941
You know why.

>>52298691
oh come on, this thing is cool. in a creepy fucked up way.

>>52298691
That's something I would expect on a giant planet of lovecraftean madness, so I have no problem with that.

>>52305171
> thinking this card is OP
> in fucking modern

loving every laugh

>>52294695
Archtypes make me legitimately angry.

I think they were a genuinely good idea to avoid having to make "It's literally a Wizard, but with one change" classes, but they fucked up the implementation to a ridiculously bad extent.

And then 12 made "Literally a Wizard, but with one change" classes anyways.

>>52307154
There are some good archetype ideas

But I think most of the good archetype ideas just highlight how bad other ideas were, like how the mutation warrior takes a minor class feature from a spellcaster class and gives it to a martial class, and it turns into a straight upgrade over the base martial class

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>somehow the only item where its production cost is not half its price
>costs as much as a single healing potion that heals 3d8+5 despite basically being able to provice you with about 1.5 potions a day
>can use it on others too
I know, I know, it's 3.5, there's much worse stuff to complain about in there

>>52307251
shut your whore mouth. I love the healing belt and I will use it every chance I get and convince everyone to use it. It makes for better games.

>>52288719
>I dont know what Im doing but its working

>>52285972
This arguing is where I ban you from the table for being a pedantic cunt.

>>52307429
That's because you're playing a game that needs a LOT OF HELP to begin with.

>>52294695
Then you get Holy Gun which is worse than a Paladin with a gun by a colossal margin. And that's without proficiency.

>>52288247
>Sycaezz-aar-ryss-ail
Did he fall asleep on his keyboard or something

>>52289848
Outlawing hetero sex is actually perfectly reasonable and honestly it'd be bad if it weren't outlawed. Did you not read the previous Paranoia games? It was the same there

Homosex being okay is hilarious to me in the way it's described. Friend Computer just doesn't understand that people can be gay, so it doesn't think of it as gay. It's a computer without a concept of non-reproductive sex.

>>52308341
Considering some archetypes and the entirety of the kineticist class, this is far from the stupidest thing a Pathfinder dev has done

>>52287386
Isnt that the system with the cat o ninetails that explodes with one use?

>>52288024
The tournament threads some anon did in this setting was hilarious. Shame we cant have another one here, qst would just bumblefuck it up.

>>52308448
I think that was just a possible effect of each hit, and because those things get a lot of hits they would constantly explode.

I think we had some guy running a tournament in this system a few months back. But I think we didn't make it to the magic system.

>>52308341
The amount of times PF devs have been called out on their horseshit is just fantastic.

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>>52289221
>must join a foreign army every season
>must stay in foreign army for at least a season

>priests of bahl-in-orr never fight on their own side

>>52308542
>>52308448
Here are the threads if anyone is interested:

http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/50512930/#50512930
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/50519158/#50519158
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/51301664/#51301664

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A mistake, but a fun one if you're fine with throwing anything resembling balance out the window.

>>52302795
Sounds like wankery like that game where you play a regular session of d&d and then the gm goes ACTUALLY YOU'RE ALL PSYCHOTIC MURDERERS KILLING BLACK PEOPLE IN THE PROJECTS

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>>52309339
dont forget the trippy geometry dragons that are older than time itself and bigger than the universe

>>52309989
the raw concentrated autism of this book is unreal. It's like the movie Big but instead of becoming a toy maker Tom Hanks becomes Gary Gygax's right hand man and publishes a game manual full of his monsters that can deal eleventy-billion damage.

>>52308542
I actually did figure out the magic system though I've since then forgotten most of it, and intended to run a magic tourney. But the lack of time and the diminished interest in the last thread has resulted in me putting it off.

Running a tourney for severely incompetent level 1 mages and priest is still on my to-do list though.

>>52313085
Don't bother unless it's the season of chaos or whatever. At least FATAL magic has a chance of killing everything in 10000km radius on miscast.

>>52299309
this makes sense though
I imagine it's a bit like most of the fight scenes in John Wick.

>>52313126
But I'm not trying to compete with FATAL, and it honestly doesn't really matter if something blows up a 100m radius or 100km radius. If it did, I would be running FATAL instead.

My goal isn't to get the most outrageous results possible, it's to take an obviously horrible system at face value and run it RAW. Exploding whips and decapitation by fist are just bonuses.
I could do it during the season of chaos, that sounds fun, but the goal is mostly just to relish in the pain that is this system and watch bad characters flail around in it.
The defining trait of this game in terms of gameplay is how incredibly bad player characters are, and how convoluted the system is to get them to act at all.

>from Ultimate Mini Tabletop master rules, 1 page for the entire game
>The players write down a description of their characters, everything from physical description to what they can do and believe in, the good, the bad and the ugly.
>Next the GM goes over the papers with the Players and work out what will work in their game, balancing the abilties etcetra.
>When the game begins, its all roleplaying, and if the DM is unsure whether something should happen, they can roll a dice and take the players ability into account.
Thats literally the entire core rules.

>>52313857
Yeah, sure, why not. I'd play it on one condition: we have to toss a coin instead of rolling a dice.

>>52313875
There is suggestions section on the remaining half of the page which says you can use other stuff like coins or play rock paper scissor and whatever you think will work. It encourages amassing as much stuff you think might be useful at some point to improve the experience.

>>52313917
I thought you'll never ask. We'll be using anal vibrators of different sizes and speeds.

>>52313857
Sounds like an antithesis to this entire thread's rulesets madness desu

>>52313930
Kek I mean it could be useful depending on what sort of game you want to run. Its the most minimalistix shit I have seen so far. Maybe this guy saw the anal circumference roll in FATAL and went full philosophical mode

>>52313857
Eh, I'd prefer at least something like Lasers and Feelings, but I'd run it in a pinch.

>>52286098
I think people who hate kender are just people who hate children in general. Terrible people, basically.

>>52309752
>Sounds like wankery like that game where you play a regular session of d&d and then the gm goes ACTUALLY YOU'RE ALL PSYCHOTIC MURDERERS KILLING BLACK PEOPLE IN THE PROJECTS


Its worse, the developer specifically tell that the players can't be something they have no affiliation with, so you can't roleplay being at a jail unless everyone already gone to jail. They must be in a situation they not alien to them.

Also, the developer specifically tell players to not make excuses for the rapists actions and not make them likeable persons

>>52314119

My favorite bit is that you can only have characters go to jail for pre-rape activities because you "just can't get a conviction in Sweden these days."

>>52307251

My what an eloquent way to backdoor in healing surges. And in-combat ones, too!

>>52314204
Kek its /pol/s retarded Brother

>>52313085
PLEASE
do so, I laughed until pain on college thanks to those threads.

>>52313917
I've actually played a great game using Rock Paper Scissors as its 'system'.

Admittedly, it was mostly due to the GM being a great storyteller, and we only did it because we were in an environment where we had no access to dice or rulebooks.

>>52315098
In DM's bed?

>>52315098
Another jailhouse gamer?

>>52315212
Hey man ain't nothing else to do in the hole, sometimes they let you have dice, too.

>>52314116
Kender don't act like real children and children don't act like Kender.