>/ccg/ Custom Card General /cct/

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>>52244696
I'll open things with the recently-finished white uncommons from my in-progress set. I don't have a ton of time for cardmaking nowadays, so these took forever to finish up. Feedback, as always, is much appreciated.

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>>52245652
And I'll bump with my white commons and some other stuff from my set to pass the time.

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>>52245676

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>>52245838

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>>52245868

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>>52245899

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>>52245930
And that's about it for my current project.

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memes

>>52245983
Renewed Service is a really clean design

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>>52246478
woops

>>52246478
Thanks, anon. I'd offer you some feedback, but I know nothing about yugioh.
>>52246494
This I can do, though. Elvish Piper with sacrifice clauses. The fact that you specify nontoken creatures stops this from being maybe too much. On the second ability, I believe the wording should be "7 or greater."

>>52245652
Your cards like Rally Resistance are really baffling me. Why not just

>XW
>Create X 1/1 white Citizen creature tokens. X can't be greater than 4.

>>52246558
That would be functionally similar, definitely. But escalate is one of the set mechanics I'm working with, so I make a conscious effort to include it in different ways. Sometimes I go the traditional variant modes route, but I also include cards where escalate is really just a way to amp up the card.

Dead thread?

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>>52245652
Okay, gonna give this a shot. I haven't reviewed a wall of cards in a while, let alone a bunch of them. Also good to see you again Timeanon, how's things?

>UW01
Good use of Ambush here. I feel like I'd rather it be a more aggressive body though; gonna get back on your case about the big butts and slow draft environments.

>UW02
Ew, Absorb 1. I suppose it's fine as a one-off critter, but I've never been a fan. Bit concerned about how easily a W or GW deck could drop this though.

>UW03
Spellshaper without the creature type? You're breakin' my heart here.

>UW05
I kinda wish this had flash and was 1WW.

>UW06
First strike on creatures with T>P bugs me so goddamn much. Double strike makes sense, but...

>UW11
This feels really weak because it does nothing on its own. I'd redo it so you get a static bonus, then get something extra when you cast the fat spells.

>>52245676
>CW04
About as good as a one-drop can get. Drafting will tell you if you've overstepped here.

>CW11
This steps on Rally Resistance's toes a bit. I'd change one of them to work a bit differently.

>>52245838
>CU01
Bit of a disconnect here between flavor and function. One would expect a flier, or haste, but gets neither. It does mesh well with the Evoke part though. I guess that's the "haste" bit? Still comes off as strange.

>CU04
Love this.

>CU05
Good GU card.

>CU06
Feels on the cusp of uncommon. I think I've said this before. I like it though.

>CU10
I'd make this -4/-0 myself.

>>52245868
Most of this seems close to what I recall of your black commons from before, so I don't have much more to say. Black being one of the colors that likes Indestructible is a bit odd, but it's paired with green and white in this set so a little bleed is okay, because it's gotten it conditionally before. I might reduce the flavor text on CB02 by a line though.

>>52245899
>CR10
Not sure about topdeck theft at common. If WotC has done it before, that's fine.

>CR13
I'll take a playset. I love it.

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Guys I came up with a new mechanic.

It's like flashback AND split cards.

>>52245930
>cont

>CG01
I think the Pinnacle cost can actually be cheaper here. Or easier to use, considering it's a multicolor set. 3G? Green gets to be hyper-efficient late game, so I think it's fine.

>CG02
Straight ETB card draw like this is a bit odd in green, even if it's paired with blue in this set. I guess it's okay but I'd rather it did a Coiling Oracle type thing or something.

>CG06
Brutal.

>CG09
This being a net loss feels kinda odd. Maybe a death trigger and a P/T adjustment?

>CG10
One of my favorite green effects. Nice.

>CG11
I feel like this needs a wording overhaul; the Pinnacle ability reads really strangely.

>>52245983
>CM01
I feel like he can be RW. 2/2s with upsides are fine in gold cards at CMC2. If in doubt, could do +2/+1 instead.

>CM04
Fan of this.

>CM05
Also of this. Nice GU effect.

>CM06
The alternate cost here feels red to me.

>CM07
This is... I can't tell if it's too good or not. I'd be more comfortable if it were a creature and more easily removed.

>CM08
Another great GU card. I always struggled with this color combo but you have it down pretty well.

And that's it from me. Hope it helps.

>>52248252
I hope these are just placeholders because they look like shit.

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Bumping with another Remembrance card. I rather like this mechanic.

>>52250132
It is comically hideous, hopefully it's fake.

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Trying to quantify this guy's main ability for custom EDH. Essentially he gains power from others' hatred and suffering of him, so I had him get bigger every time you or your board draw hate.

>>52251147
>shroud in BR
Well... off to a rocky start. Abilities are plenty BR I suppose. I honestly wouldn't play him because you can't do anything with his size. He can't be voltroned and gets chumped all day long.

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>>52248131
>>52248292
Thanks for all of the feedback, man!
>UW11
I designed this to be kind of swingy, more of a Johnny thing. If I added a static bonus, I'd want it to be a small one.
>CW11
I actually imagine these working in tandem pretty well. Rally Resistance, then convoke those tokens to Raise Forces.
>CU01
Yeah, the flavor is geared towards the evoke bit.
>Black indestructible
It's more of a thing now since indestructible replaced regeneration.
>CG11
The wording is adapted from Savage Punch, but you're right that it's weird. It only shows up on that one card, as far as I can find.

I'll take all of this into consideration and make some tweaks on these. Thanks for taking the time, anon.
>Also good to see you again Timeanon, how's things?
Things are going well! I graduate in May. Finishing grad school is going to be a huge damn relief. How have you been?
>Essence Collector
I'm concerned about the "all other abilities" bit. Ruleswise, what exactly does that entail? I'm honestly not sure. It's a really cool concept, though; like Scavenge for abilities.

>>52254311
I want to FUCK time-anon while he designs balanced and interesting commons

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>>52245676
Convoke has weird antisynergy with the "5-or-more-mana" theme

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>>52254379
It does, but I wanted to add some depth of choice. Between the monohybrid mana and convoke, players have a variety of ways to pay for mana costs that can shift up and down. I want paying more to hit that five mark to be the right choice sometimes (and net bonuses aligned with the set theme), while in other situations I wanted convoking something out or playing monohybrid cards as cheaply as possible to be the right decision. Basically, I'm trying to give players tons of options with no one option being the clear-cut "best" option.
>Forbidden Love
I like it as a cheaper O-Ring variant with a twist.
>>52254366
I'm pretty much done with the commons for this set, though. How do uncommons grab you?

>>52254379
Maybe make it "as an additional cost, exile a creature you control"

Otherwise, you can play it without having a creature on the field.

>>52254311
You're welcome Timeanon. Looking forward to seeing your set said and done.
>Remembrance
It should just give all triggered, etb, and keyword abilities, kinda like what Necrotic Ooze does for itself. That's why I used the term "other" so it doesn't also grant Remembrance as well, for clarity's sake.

>>52256118
Oh, forgot to mention, I forgot about the indestructible likely replacing regeneration thing, so yeah that's fine.

Bump. Please be alive after I get off work.

>>52258457
>>52258459
>ccg in a nutshell
It's sad because it's true.

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>>52258474
Hey, I tried to give a ton of feedback and post some cards, but I can only do so much. I hate spamming the thread with cards with no feedback or anything, so I'm loathe to do that, but if we need content and bumps I have a minute to make something.

I'll try to do more complicated things with Remembrance when I have longer than a lunch break to work on it. At least one other person seems to think it has potential so that's nice.

>>52254472
Hm. This seems kind of expensive, but since it isn't an Aura it's persistent, so that's a bit of a plus. I want to say the blocking ability could be 1W or even 2/W, given the casting cost.

>>52259317
That's kind of neat. It seems kind of broad, though, and with plenty of potential for rules weirdness. Also, it would probably be better as an ability word, like Bloodrush:

*Remembrance* -- [Cost], [Exile this card from your graveyard: Target creature gains [abilities] until end of turn.

>>52254472
Holy shit, that's some juicy flavor text. I love the design, too. This is a truly excellent card.

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>>52259317
This feels too strong sense it shuts off all early game aggression. I think making it only a 2/1 or the remembrance 1w would be a good change.

>>52260549
Hm, I could see it being worded like Bloodrush also. I couldn't actually decide how I wanted to do it, since you have Unearth and Flashback as well. I guess I could do it either way and be pretty safe. I dunno about spelling out all the abilities on the card every time though; there's a reason I worded it like I did. The benefit to reminder text is that it doesn't have to be rules-tight like regular text, of course, so I felt like I got a bit more wiggle room, whereas if I did it like Bloodrush, I'm not sure I'd get the same leeway. I'm honestly fine with either way. If other people think Bloodrushing it is best, then so be it.

>>52261484
I can see your point. My main issue is that then a 2/1 with FS and defender has no business being at uncommon costing 1W; you can get that at common these days. I'm not sure the Remembrance puts it over the top or not. Maybe it does? Either way, I think I agree that 2/1 is a better place for it P/T-wise.

>Envoy
Seems okay. I suppose it compares roughly to Mardu Woe-Reaper in terms of power level.

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>>52261484
>>52262299
Hmm... or I could do this, since the theme of the thread is hybrid mana costs. Would this balance it out a bit more? Or should it just be 2W if it stays at 3/1?

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>>52262299
How I see it is, a 3/1 with FS and defender can kill most things under 5 mana, and the fact that it's only a 2 drop and demands some kind of removal spell to deal with it feels really gross.
The remembrance is what pushes it over, sense it basically is a 2 drop you have to use real removal on, and then also have to worry about as a battle trick.

>>52262359
This seems fine.

>>52262393
No, I saw your point and agreed it should be a 2/1 at 1W. I just wasn't sure about it taking an uncommon slot, but I guess giving an opponent's creature defender on a turn he wants to swing with it in a way he can't counter or avoid short of flickering/bounding it really kinda does merit uncommon status. I think I'll make it a 2/1 at 1W after all. Unless I was making it for a set with hybrid costs, the current version just bothers me since it has no reason to be hybrid.

>slime
I like it, but I feel like it's a rare, even though it's expensive as hell. Uncommon if you remove hexproof; it could also be cheaper at that rate. Probably 4BG honestly.

>>52262553
>can't counter
Well, that's a bit of a stretch, any ability counter can do it I suppose. But those are few and far between.

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>>52262553
>Drop hexproof, make rare, cost down
I really want it there as a GB finisher for limited though, similiar to Plated Crusher. Having it at rare just to up the power level seems a bit silly. I think if you put 8 mana into a creature and 2 colors it shouldn't be unreasonable for it threaten a solo win, even at uncommon.
Not like it would be difficult to double block it though with most 3 drops to trade.

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>>52262609
I've always seen uncommon as the "workhorse" rarity, not the one you stick finishers in, but that's just me I guess, as far as this conversation goes.

I'd shrink the body on the Wizard here. Too much value overall.

Speaking of value... woof. What the hell have I done here?

>>52262809
ooops, I just realized, for cards like this, I should change it to "this creature" instead of using the card name, to make Remembrance work. Fixing it now. Fixing the Blood Stalker upthread too.

okay im looking for opinions on how stupid/bad/OP this is
its my first try at a custom card and i tried to word it correctly and all but there's probably still mistakes because i'm retarded

i tried making it simple but powerful, and i went with a heavy control theme.

but yeah, opinions

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>>52263080
forgot image

i told you im retarded

>>52263092
Well, Catalog, the spell your +1 emulates, already costs 2U, so that right there is a red flag since your PW only costs 3 mana as well. +1 abilities on CMC3 PWs should be CMC1 or 2 spells, and if they are CMC2, they should be weak-ish. The -should be a -3, since that effect costs 3 mana on a spell, and so if you're going to drop the PW then do that, it should cost the same amount of mana as the parent spell. I'd make the emblem cost 2 generic per counter given how this is such a cheap PW. maybe if he were 2UU it'd be more acceptable, but I'm not 100% sure on that. It's a lot of lockdown.

>>52263217
okay thanks

i probably shouldve done a lot more research when i made it but i sorta made it off of memory and shit

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>>52263217
how's this?

>>52263217
>>52263092
>>52263276
well im gonna slowly be posting more of my garbage walkers for critiquing/balancing if you wanna stay tuned

>>52263276
Better, in my opinion. Minor nitpick: use contractions. So it's "don't" not "do not".

If you're going to post more, I'll be around for a bit. Try using photojoiner, linked in the OP, to stitch your card images together so they don't take up a ton of space. Course, this thread is slow as balls and we're the only ones here, but it's generally considered a courtesy when the thread is moving along.

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okay here's walker number 2 for critiquing
bad/eh/good/Op

all (constructive) criticism welcome

>>52263388
okay ill do those things, posted second one before i read this sorry

>>52263396
Okay this one has a lot more issues.

Flying is primary in blue, and secondary in white, though white could arguably also be primary in it at this point. However, granting flying is still primarily blue, so this guy should probably be WU.

for the +1, you're going to want to phrase it as "up to one target creature" so you can still use it even if there are no legal targets.

The -2 isn't white at all. It's BR, or something. If it could deal the damage to an attacking creature, that's white, but you can't use PW abilities at instant speed so it doesn't really work. It'll need to be replaced.

The ult is fine, if a bit boring. All in all, I'd hold off on posting any more cards till you go do some more research on wording and the color pie. It'll make people more receptive to your cards and make them easier to critique.

>>52263497
alrighty will make changes and since those two were already made, all future ones i make i will take more time on

>>52263552
Alright, sounds good.

Welcome to the threads, by the way.

>>52262809
I really like remembrance. I'm actually really jealous i didn't come up with it because i feel like one called "Ancestry" would fit my mardu human tribe perfectly as a mechanic. Like bloodrush from the yard.

>>52263617
thanks, ive been lurking some mtg threads for a while, including these ones and it got me interested, so i finally tried my hand at things.

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>>52260592
Thanks, anon. I'm glad you dig the flavor text; I work hard on that stuff.
>>52259317
Yeah, I tend to cost things pretty conservatively. I'll look into lowering it.
>Dauntless Defenders
I prefer the hybrid mana version. Also, did you consider the anon who mentioned that Remembrance might work better as an ability word? It might make things cleaner, rules-wise. I couldn't find any card that blanket-references abilities like Remembrance does. But, reminder text isn't rules text and all that. It could be totally fine as-is. Something to look into, though, I think.
>>52263722
You should keep it up. These threads can always use new posters and fresh perspectives.

>>52263756
thanks, now that i have a computer again i should be able to post a lot more and get involved with things, all while getting better at making cards

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>>52263497
okay, maybe this is a bit better? maybe the second ability should be -4?

>>52263638
Thanks. I still need to tweak it I think, and of course there's the debate on wording it like a keyword or an ability word. Right now it feels a bit awkward putting "this creature" instead of the creature's name to make it work, but I don't think there's an actual problem with that rules-wise.

>>52263722
Well good. Keep in mind that some people can be pretty harsh with criticism, so I hope you have your game face on and are ready to have your cards dissected.

>>52263756
Yeah, I considered it. I even commented on it if you check back upthread. Necrotic Ooze references all activated abilities of all creature cards in all graveyards so I think the phrase "all abilities" is fine. And again, as we both mentioned, reminder text isn't rules text, which s an advantage to doing it this way over "Bloodrushing" it because then it'd have to be rules-tight.

>Display
Hm. Seems a bit expensive but it's instant speed, so you can shutdown an entire combat phase with it, and that's pretty beefy. Probably fine, all told. Maybe you can get away with exile and refluff it that some Osarian bullshit goes down and everyone nopes the fuck out?

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>>52244696
How's this sound for a custom card?
Polder - Artifact (U)
3
T: Islands and Swamps you control are Plains in addition to their other types until end of turn.
When Polder leaves the battlefield, it's controller sacrifices a land.
F: The hungry tides forever seek to reclaim what ingenuity has stolen.

Something fairly balanced for a UBW deck, giving you that extra boost in white mana when you need it

>>52263865
No need to capitalize flying in the +2. Use "two" in the -3; damage and life gain get numbers (as well as P/T adjustments); every other instance of numbers uses the actual word. The tokens need a type. The ult should be "get +2/+2 and have flying".

>>52263867
oh i'm fine with taking harsh criticism, after all it helps me learn to get better, even if it's in a not so constructive way

>>52263928
Hm. This is fairly neat, I suppose. It's a different way to do mana filtering. Most filters are CMC3 already anyway, so it's probably fine?

>>52263930
okay made the other changes, but question.
for the type i presume you mean like color? for instance would it be worded Blue and White? also where in the sentence would it go, before or after the 1/1?

Oh shit, speaking of Necrotic Ooze, the ruling on its ability means that I don't have to use the "this creature" wording on Remembrance since any time a creature's name is referenced in an activated ability, it's technically doing the CARDNAME thing, so it automatically refers to the creature the ability is on. A bit confusing for new players maybe... I'll have to decide what route to take with it. So many goddamn wording options... yeesh.

>>52263991
"type" means what type of token it is. Creature? Artifact? Also yeah, you need the color in there too; I totally missed that part.

>>52263959
Just wish I had some good art, I'm making a setting soon and aim to have UBW not!Netherlands as a plane.
Any idea what their special mechanic should be? I had a buying industry idea going on, where you spend mana to get things that make more mana (hence, polder) but it quickly gets out of control.

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>>52264030
okay i think i got it right
but im stupid so maybe not

>>52264106
i forgot to un-capitalize the flying on -3
rip

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>>52264106
You also don't need to capitalize colors. "Mist" is an unnecessary subtype. Delete it; elemental gets the flavor across just fine without wasting space. In the emblem, "get" should be "have." See Elspeth, Sun's Champion for an example (since that's the same emblem she makes). Also, yeah, that's the same emblem Elspeth makes. You might want to reconsider yours for originality's sake.

Weird blue stuff.

Opportunity Cost U
Sorcery
Scry 1 a number of times equal to your devotion to blue.

Spread the Sands 1U
Instant
Look at the top five cards of your library, then put one into your hand, one on top of your library, one on the bottom of your library, one into your graveyard, and exile the rest.

Omenbands 1U
Enchantment- Aura
Enchant Creature
Whenever enchanted creature deals damage, scry X, where X is the amount of damage dealt.

Spiteful Student 2UB
Creature- Wizard
Whenever ~ deals combat damage to a creature, return that creature to it's owner's hand.
Whenever a permanent is returned to an opponent's hand from the battlefield, that player discards a card.
2/2

Traveler's Tales 3UUU
Sorcery
Search your library for an artifact card, a creature card, an enchantment card, an instant card, a land card, a planeswalker card, and a sorcery card, reveal them, and put them into your hand. Then shuffle your library.

>>52264031
>Ramp in the three slowest colors

>>52264106
Man, Planeswalker cards are so boring. What bad design they are as a card type.

>>52264412
i actually didnt know the whole elspeth thing, oops

more changes to make

>>52264031
Maybe an artifact theme with gold tokens and clues and other artifact-based ramp/advantage?

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>>52264472
Why do you say that? Designing planeswalkers is fun, if challenging. The line between boring and broken is especially thin with planeswalkers.

>>52264472
yeah im just starting off with them, i think they're a cool concept though.

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>>52264412
okay after yet another change, how's this?

>>52264566
It's completely different. Okay, stop for a minute. Consider employing backward design. That is, think about what you want the card to do before you begin designing it. And I mean more deeply than "UW Planeswalker." What role do you want the card to play? What deck archetypes do you think would want a card like the one you want to design? Start with a clear goal in mind, then design a card to reach that goal.

So, what do you want this card to do, anon? What is your design goal?

>>52264636
aaaaa sorry for doing stupid shit im jumping the gun

okay

so originally i was thinking of a planeswalker that was centered around flying and a sort of anthem type twist with the ult and the fact of the tokens and all, but throughout all of these changes i have fucked that up severely. for the deck archetype i was thinking more of a focus on the flying aspect of UW rather than the controlly aspect. kind of like a tokens type deck with anthems and shit.

im gonna try and fix this one more time, and if i cant get it right, im gonna wait a bit before i post my shit here again until i can make it better.

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Yes, I am still trying to make this work.

>>52245652
Good to see you again Time anon.

>UW01
Eh, I'm not sure that the worse body compared to Ampryn Tactician or Inspiring Captain should mean a better effect for less mana. I realize it's uncommon, but still.

>UW02
Seems cool.

>UW03
>UW04
Meh.

>UW05
I'm surprised it doesn't have Flash instead of Flying.

>UW06
Odd combination of effects, but OK.

>UW07
Is it so much worse than Secure the Wastes because it's uncommon?

>UW08
Meh.

>UW09
Why "up to"? Seems fine otherwise.

>UW10
Kinda interested in how this fares.

>UW11
Unsure how to judge this, sorry.

Pretty sure I've gone through the rest a few times now, but if you changed something or just want me to take another look, let me know.

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Would like some criticisms on some of the mechanics of the set I'm working on.

I feel like a some of these mechanics are either really broken and will be hard to keep in check (see shift, delusion) while others are more balanced/underpowered.

wheres the 5/5 black black white white with defender, reach, and lifelink
"blood-engine net-golem"
with +2/+0 against dragons, and fluff to say why.
i cant into art or computers, at least not while im drinking.

i could probably make an entire release[season? im a casual player, dont follow card releases too much] about angel-types with "the dragon" in their name, with lore to go with it, including 4th wall breaking which angels really should have.
>but, these angels are mostly magical programmers, so the creature-cards would mostly all be colored golems.
there are cards that check for dragon in the name and not just the type, right?

ignore me if you want, or dont, my name says where ill be.

>>52264742
Thanks for the feedback, COanon! Nice to see you, too.
>Why "up to"? Seems fine otherwise.
So you can pump more mana into it to hit the five mana threshold without the extra targets being necessary.
>Power Girl's Distractions
"You can't do anything at all this turn" seems a bit cheap at 3cmc. Maybe 2RW?

>>52264774
Lifebond looks interesting. Rage is odd and you can take the 'survives' bit off; If the creature triggers it and dies, it doesn't change a lot. Delusion is annoying to keep track of. Disease is a drawback and mediocre. Dissipate is meh, don't need a million blinking spirits. Shift is gonna be confusing as fuck, though I like it.

>>52264774
>Lifebond
Could be interesting, seems like it would be hard to balance though.

>Rage
Ugh, memory issues. I think I'd rather just use Renown.

>Delusion
Seems broken. The problem with this sort of effect is that the cards build on themselves. Like, imagine having Delusion on a mana curve. If you pulled it off correctly, the only mana you'd have to pay would be colored mana.

>Disease
Don't see the point of making this a keyword.

>Dissipate
Uh, so you get the effect twice? I feel like there should be a better way to do this. But even then, I don't think I'd make it a keyword.

>Shift
Ruling nightmare, and I can see this easily getting broken in two.

as an aside, would anyone like it if there was a tabletop game where when characters die in a party, they have to play mtg with someone else, and the winner gets to design the other persons player to be reborn into the world?
of course, this means if you keep winning you just get to play the part of "death"/"god" while the DM/GM/WM plays "quantum circumstance.

>>52264741
So, from what I can tell, you want an aggressive UW planeswalker focused on token generation and evasion. With that as a design template, you can break the card up into separate parts:
+ ability: Create a token/tokens of some kind (planeswalkers should generally have a way to protect themselves; creating tokens that can block is a pretty standard method).

- ability: Targeted buff/evasion of some sort. Maybe both. You could even make it removal (tapping, returning to hand, etc.), which acts as pseudo evasion; remember, your purpose with this card is to be aggressive and to create openings which your tokens/other creatures can use to attack. Removing an opponent's creatures works just as well as making yours tougher to block.

Ult: Mass buff/evasion or mass token generation. Could be an emblem. Want your planeswalker to have a flying subtheme? Make its ult spawn tokens based on the number of fliers you control. Want it to enable you to take a big swing? Ult gives all of your creatures a p/t buff plus evasion.

Once you have a goal in mind and a design template, the options for each part of the card become more narrow and easier to finalize. Planning makes design a million times easier, and generally produces much more positive results.
> if i cant get it right, im gonna wait a bit before i post my shit here again until i can make it better.
Nah, don't worry about that, man. Post here anyway. The critique helps you make it better.

>>52264913
>>52264774
I think dissipate is supposed to be both an alternate casting cost AND an active ability that drops it into exile, then blinks it back in at EOT.

>>52264989
does this mean for that many turns? otherwise how can you do that for each non-land card

>>52264787
Come back when you're sober.

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>>52264899

Good point on the rage thing

Disease is definitely the weakest, i originally had it as something completely different, but it was to similar to infect, and i wanted to do something with -1/-1 counters since green deals with life (+1/+1) on this plane and black deals with death. Thinking about reworking it. Dont have any ideas for it atm tho.

And yea shift is also my favorite mechanic. I feel like it can get a bit out of hand tho sense "changing zones" applies to so much. Also yes a rulings nightmare

Delusion I'm definitely worried about being busted, but i like the idea of it, and dont know how to balance it really (more colored mana in cards i guess?)

Dissipate is more of an enabler for unique creature abilities since white is an "exile matters" group

I think lifecraft is the most balanced, you have to build around it for the most part, and its easily applicable in many decks and scenarios

Also had this land set dealing with Shift dont know if its busted, or useless

>>52265104
n-no.
i literally just started drinking tonight, i just dont want to photoshop right now, or download photoshop/gimp.

>>52264805
So, how are you doing anyway? Teaching, right?

>So you can pump more mana into it to hit the five mana threshold without the extra targets being necessary.
Ugh, my bad, should've remembered that.

>Maybe 2RW?
Sold, thanks.

>>52264989
Prevent all damage for how long? And shouldn't each player draw a card afterwards?

>>52265162
>i literally just started drinking tonight
Even as someone who doesn't drink, I find this strangely amusing.

What about MSE?

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>>52265018
alright

it's the time of reckoning

but seriously

i tried, i really hope this version is better. i went back to the original theme. now once and for all, is it finally better? (probably not rip)

>>52265119

Shift should probably be worded as "Whenever CARDNAME changes zones, you may reveal it. If you do..."

>>52265204
>+2
I feel like this should be a +1.

>-2
This should be temporary.

>-9
Just a pump? That's it?

I feel like it needs to go in a different direction. Right now it just feels like Ajani or Elspeth, but with Flying. Like, maybe do some blink or bounce stuff.

>>52265119
>Disease vs. Lifebond
First off, mixing counter types in the same environment is generally a bad idea. My suggestion would be to make your green ability and your black ability both use +1/+1 counters, but make black cards have effects/bonuses related to removing counters while green focuses on adding them. It would require some revamping on your part, but I think it's something you should consider to avoid mixing counter types.
>>52265204
You're on the right track, I feel. The middle ability should specify an ending for the effect (until end of turn, etc.) Otherwise, it's indefinite. In the ult, "have" should be "get." But you'll get the hang of wording with more practice and by reading the oracle text of existing cards (seriously, do this; it helps).

Overall, you have a much more solid theme and internal consistency. With some tweaking of the costs and wordings and details, you have the makings of a pretty cool card there.
>>52265191
>So, how are you doing anyway? Teaching, right?
Yeah. Just passed my pedagogy exam, and I finish up my student teaching placement in less than a month. I'm on track to graduate with my Master's in May. It's a relief, to be honest. Grad school is exhausting.

>>52265325
actually i was thinking of the -2 giving permanent +1/+1 and flying, or is that too much? should the flying go back to until end of turn?

>>52265447
It has memory issues. Indefinite effects with no clear markers are easy for players to confuse or forget. If you want to grant permanent flying, look at a card like Aven Mimeomancer for a template.

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>>52264742
>COanon
Huh, figured you buggered off to /r/custommagic or whatever it's called. Guess we're not as understaffed as I thought.

>Distractions
Have you considered making it so the card does the first half on cast, then does the second half if you control a creature named Karen Starr, Power Girl? I know parasitism isn't that great a thing but given the nature of your project I think making a pseudo-silver border card work like that isn't off base.

>>52264989
Needs a duration on the damage prevention.

>>52264774
>Lifebond
In the right set this could be fantastic.

>Rage
Memory issues, so not a fan.

>Delusion
Eh. The main issue here is how useful is this? On instants it's great. On creatures it's great. On anything else it's typically going to be pretty underwhelming.

>Disease
Do the Festering Goblin thing. Man, I am suggesting that a lot lately. I'd also advise against mixing counters but we're not WotC, we don't have to care about complexity.

>Dissipate
I'd simplify this for starters. It already works well with ETB effects which white loves so there's no need to fabricate an "exile matters" thing for it.

>Shift
Damage needs a source that's not the player, but it has potential as a mechanic. Again, it's complex, but we get a bit more of a pass on that.

>>52265204
This anon >>52265284 has said basically what needs to be said. Basic, functional PWs are fine, but they are supposed to be splashy and showy by nature. You'll get there, just be sure you're vetting your own cards before you post. Self-criticizing is a big part of successful design. Course, nobody's perfect, so don't be afraid to post either. If you have a question you can't find the answer for yourself, then posting the card + the question can help a lot too. Also this >>52265509.

Here's the white counterpart to the Vampire I posted earlier, except this one is mythic. I kinda figured it probably would/should be.

>>52265284
>>52265204
How about
+1: Create a 1/1 blue and white Elemental creature token with flying
-2: Creatures you don't control lose and cannot gain flying until end of turn
-7: You get an emblem with "Creatures without flying cannot attack you" and "At the beginning of your upkeep, put a +1/+1 counter on each creature with flying you control".
3

>>52265284
>>52265325
>>52265579
again thanks for all of the suggestions and critiquing. im gonna go to bed now, but tomorrow i should hopefully have an even better version of sauzand ready. im trying to make it better but im just really worried of making things to powerful or underpowered. either way, I'm gonna do some tuning again tomorrow.

>>52265664
Sure thing. Remember: existing cards are your friend. They will show you relative power levels, wording, and display what's okay and not okay to do in each color. A lot of the questions you have can be answered by looking at existing cards; just go to Gatherer or some other card search tool of choice, and look up the key words of what you want an ability to do. If you search right, you'll find other cards that do similar things and that'll get you your wording and costs and everything much quicker than going at it blind. Most of us do this very same thing, and trust me, it helps a lot.

>>52265579
>/r/custommagic
I did say that even if I started hanging out there I'd keep an eye out for /ccg/. And I know I keep bringing it up, but goddamn I like /ccg/, I guess I'm just so used to the 4chan format. And of course, the artist requirement. Completely arbitrary crap. I did post a concept for a card based on King Kong, but it just made me realize I didn't think it through.

>Distractions
Eh, probably not. I realize it's just a joke, but still. Though I have made a few cards that were designed to go with certain characters, they didn't search by name, they instead worked off the abilities of the creature. Like, my card for Oracle has you discard cards to tutor cards (just like Transmute), and there's another card which will return discarded cards to your hand for a small cost. I do have a card for Starrware Industries, owned by PG, that I haven't finalized yet, so I could try to make that work with her mechanics. Not I just have to come up with something. Maybe some sort of artifact recursion, because PG's good at destroying them?

>Mythos Angel
I'll be sure to look at the Vamp card later. I normally don't like just gaining all abilities, but making it so you control which card gives abilities is a pretty good move, prevents gamebreaking stuff. I really like the card, I think it's pretty cool overall. Maybe a sorcery-speed restriction on Remembrance though.

>>52265641
>You get an emblem with "Creatures without flying cannot attack you"
Very nice.

>>52265861
Well Starrware does make science crap, so that might work.

>Remembrance
Thanks. I thought about a sorcery-speed restriction, but it removes a lot of design space, which I kind of don't like doing. Though, at the same time, the only way to counter it is stuff that counters abilities, and those effects are usually at a premium, which makes Remembrance strong. I'll have to think about it as I make more cards that use it. Though I dunno how much more I'll do because I don't have a set and there comes a point where you just go "yeah we get it; put some good keywords and an ability that meshes with them and tack on Remembrance, been there done that".

>>52265882
My thought processes
>Aeromancer means a flying theme
>U/W means being a controlly bitch about things
>Tokenpooper means creature focus
>+ needs to build up value
>-small needs to give advantage
>-big needs to have a giant, lasting effect on the game- winning outright is right out, but actually getting it off should make your opponent seriously consider going "Nah, I'm not getting out of this"

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>>52266254
>Starrware
OK then, here goes nothing. I had a few different ideas, which one do you think is the best? Mana costs are probably all over the place, they're placeholders more than anything.

>Remembrance
I guess then you could make it more like Haunt or Cipher, where it becomes a permanent part of the card.

>>52266319
Yeah, it was a really good choice. I still think the card needs to be refined a bit more though, but I really love the one-sided Moat effect for the ult. Especially with how flavorful it is.

>>52266587
Nah, trying to avoid Haunt and Cipher honestly, as a conscious design choice.

>Starrware
Huh, it being an artifact and not a land is a bit jarring. I honestly think I'd rather this help you dig for artifacts, since in the Conners/Palmiotti run, Starrware was all about innovation and stuff, even if it was kind of questionable as to some of the things they did. Of these though, I like number 6. It showcases innovation the best of the bunch, as a "learn from your failures" kind of thing.

>>52266724
Well, in that run it was actually called Starr Enterprises, if I recall, but you get the idea. It's basically the same thing.

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Back again everyone since I won't stop making bad cards. Building an Anime inspired set and currently working on FMA. Here are all the alchemy cards. Some cards slightly break color pie I know but it's for flavor reasons. Did a lot of changes from last thread, thank you last Anon for all your suggestions. Don't know how I feel about transmutation. I gave it a lot of restrictions but at the same time it being free might still be OP. Just going to playtest it and if it's too good I'll either make it pay some amount of generic to transmute or make it only search for cards that share a color with the transmuted card.

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Pay off cards

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Other Cards

>>52267443
>>52267473
>>52267528
What do you guys think?

>>52267546
I think you should stop making cards and go back to >>>/a/

>>52267882
but senpai I have no creativity or inspiration otherwise

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Doing threshold, how does this sound for each colors interests?
W: Yard hate, caring about how much is in opponents exile (mostly by yard hate), tokens
U: Delve, mill, flashback
B: Delve, very minor amount of mill, do things when cards are exiled from your yard, self sac for value
R: Flashback, do things when cards are exiled from your yard, minor tokens
G: Self mill, tokens, minor sac stuff

>>52268641
Delve is kinda crummy when paired with Threshold, innit?

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>>52268665
I think adding a reason to detire players from just delving out their whole yard is a good way to test player's skill and add a layer of decision making to make the game more fun.
Same with giving U and R flashback. It also gives the W yard hate more value.

>>52268701
Eh, to me it just creates a binary track for draft deckbuilding. "Do I have Delve? Then I will stack all the good Delve stuff." "Do I have Threshold? Well then I am not going to use Delve except maybe late-game on a wincon spell so I can enable my Threshold."

Just my opinion though. Law Bind seems fine. Cruel Dramatizer (sp) seems fine as a body but I'm not that thrilled with Plot. It's basically just "draft this to enable Delve" and doesn't do anything else on its own really except maybe punish yard hate, which you do say you're going to make as a thing, but I feel like there is going to be some severe parasitism going on in the dynamic between the colors and themes in your set. There's such a thing as your themes being "too tight" in that the set doesn't play well with other sets. I mean that's fine for custom cards and if you have little interest in meshing your set with actual cards, but if you are actually keeping real cards in mind for this, it's something to consider.

>>52267443
Your wording is atrocious.

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Another go on Tefe Holland. Tried to focus more on control over plant and animal life here by animating lands, while also buffing creatures.

>>52266724
>>52266775
Dig for artifacts? Well, the original idea was to make a card that worked well with the PG card, which crushes an artifact (or a land) whenever it hits a player. Notice how all of the Starrware cards benefit if your opponents are using artifacts. I'd like to make something that works well with PG, but since all the Kryptonians are just good beaters with extra stuff, that may be difficult, to be honest. Like, I couldn't even imagine what to do with Superman.

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>>52266724
>>52266775
>>52270857
Oh yeah, and iterations 1 and 2 or Starrware were lands. This is what I got, and I don't like them very much.

>>52270120
Yeah it is. I've been working on it as I see obvious problems but it's still bad. I ain't a wizards employee

>>52270893
One of the biggest things is that damage requires a source, this isn't Hearthstone.

>>52245652
Activated indestructibility costing black, on a white card, is very cool.
Interesting direction with escalate.

>>52245899
Ahralian Sellswords feels good man.

>>52245676
I'm a sucker for sandy/desert cultures for white. Convoke is very much at home in white.
The Camels here and and others in the cycle are a good example of a common cycle, nice going <3

>>52245838
Kethiri-Clan Egotist is very strong but also very printable. Nice restraint.

Aneketian Claimant kinda clashes with the rest of your set, paying extra mana that isn't somehow involved in the casting cost itself seems meh in a set like this. Is that intentional? Maybe it's good, to make strategies between the cards less linear?

Premotion is fucking sweet.

>>52245868
Eternal Vanguard could maybe stand to have its unearth cost 2B.

Darksight Evangelist is cool. Ba of Flickering Shadows is even cooler.

Liturgy of Blood - very tasteful reprint and blends wonderfully with your 'spend 5 matters' theme.

Retribution of the Bau I read only after seeing Favor of the Bau in green. I think you'd want people seeing the simpler design first.
Bump Ret of Bau to uncommon. It also is removal with value, which makes it worthy of uncommon power-wise, too.
Maybe in its slot have another black unearth enchantment, but overcosted and beneficial.

>>52245899
Ferocious Stand sounds like a name for a defensive card, when it's mostly aggressive in practice.

Dance of the Efreet is very nice. Probably undercosted for the modern era but fast mana in red is always neat to see examined.

Nice art for Demolish.


>>52245930
Again, unearthing enchantments as with Favor of the Bau is very clever.
Everwalker is a great name for a green zombie.


>>52245983
Props on the Lifeblood Harvester flavortext.
Volatile Volition is a very nice design. Very clean.

I like Patrol Saurian a lot. Feels like a decently strong limited card.

Disgrace of Defeat and Parting Blow are very flavorful, very nice designs.


9/10 would dev with.

>>52271299
>would dev with.
Shouldn't it be "Would draft with"?

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suicide is the only rational response to consciousness

>>52271905
That is super cool!

Just some custom commander stuff.

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>>52272263
Well, forgot an image, but here's one.

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>>52272275

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>>52271905

>>52272275
I don't get it.

>>52273004
You gotta pay [2] more every time you recast your commander. So she untaps more stuff every time.

>>52273356
I get that, I don't understand what its purpose is though. It's basically just a GU commander at 0.

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>>52273397
Most G+ decks in commander run ways to make their lands produce more mana

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>>52244696

I came up with this all by myself

ROSHIP ME!1!!

>>52244696

Color shifted iconics:

http://mtgcardsmith.com/view/alabaster-keres

http://mtgcardsmith.com/view/ocean-hydra-4

http://mtgcardsmith.com/view/immolator-sphinx

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>>52244696

>>52244696

Color shifted iconics:

http://mtgcardsmith.com/view/alabaster-keres

http://mtgcardsmith.com/view/ocean-hydra-4

http://mtgcardsmith.com/view/immolator-sphinx

>>52274161
Use Photojoiner if you want to post multiple cards at once. Link in the OP.

>>52273931
Ah, OK.

>card
Seems OK to me. Though I'd change the wording to
>That player loses X life and you gain X life, where X is the number of nonland cards revealed this way.

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<lengthy diatribe about AI risk>

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>>52272280
A design for my Mimeoplasm EDH deck.

simple question, is creating tokens a mono red thing? like color pie wise would it be out of the question for a red planeswalker to create tokens

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Started watching Iron Fist. First few episodes weren't that great, but it's really starting to pick up now. Anyway, idea behind this was to represent the Iron Fist with super-Prowess. Plus destroying the Indestructible, obviously. Though I'm totally open to changing it if this is too degenerate.

>>52275726
Creating tokens is just one of those things that all colors get access to. Just as with card draw, the only difference is how the access it, and how often they access it. Though granted, tokens have the added complexity of having to fit creature types, P/T, and keywords. I guess the next question then is what kind of tokens, and how do you get them?

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>>52275449
I think for the flavor text, "In this factory, the materials and the workers are one in the same."

>>52275726
Any color can make tokens it's just a matter of what the tokens are and do.
1/1s? Not outside of RGW.
Flyers? WUB
ect ect
It's simply the action of specializing in tokens to be a WG thing, they don't manopolize their creation.

>>52275449
That looks broken beyond belief.
>play frogmite for free
>1B play one shot robot

>>52274122
>Samurai Jack sorcery
>not Arcane subtype

>>52275809
planning on making a plain old 1/1 red Elemental creature tokens every time you take damage (it's the ult obvi"

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I understand that having a heart cut out is a big deal, but artificial hearts exist, yet nobody seemed to bring them up in this storyline.

>>52275953
Isn't that more of a problem with Frogmite being broken than anything else?

>>52276012
Yeah, that seems fine. Though why when you take damage and not when you deal it?

>>52276119
yeah you're right, im just new at balancing and didnt know if that would be too powerful for burn type style

>>52276119
actually im a fucking idiot, that is what i had down. i dont even know my own card

>>52276119
Frogmite wouldn't be broken if enablers such as this weren't ubiquitous. Actually, there aren't many enablers for it at all besides KCI so no, not really.

>>52276154
Just make the card and show us what you're talking about already. It doesn't have to be complete or finalized yet.

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okay, this is the bad planeswalker poster from yesterday, but today, i decided to try my hand at a planeswalker with a color i know and like, red. i know i shouldnt be creating cards willy nilly when i have to work on balancing, but i feel like i was comfortable enough to try red, plus i think i know red's role in the color pie fairly well.

so, same as yesterday, critique me and help me get better

also i was in the process of posting sorry >>52276212

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Might as well post a walker of my own. And I will come up with a better name later.

>>52276237
Well, right off the bat, the +1 is a marginally worse +1 from a Chandra that costs 2RR.

-2 needs better wording. Let's try
>~ deals 3 damage divided as you choose among one, two, or three target creatures and/or players.

The -6 is cool, though I'd change it to proc only when it's from sources you control.

Overall, not too bad, but it definitely has to be rebalanced. I think that just with that ult we might find ourselves in the CMC 5 range. 4 at least. And I feel like maybe the middle ability should be changed to something a bit different than just more burn. Or at least a bigger burn.

>>52276568
alrighty thanks for the feedback. the ult is what i thought would be the most susceptible. i knew the +1 was worse chandra +1, but i though since it was 1 cmc lower it would be good. the -2 just needs slight changes it seems, and ill make her cmc 4, but then i might have to do something with her +1 rip

>>52276789
Honestly, I feel like Red burn planeswalkers are a bit played out now. Since it makes tokens, maybe try incorporating a creature focus? Though I'm certainly no expert at planeswalkers either, others can no doubt give you better advice than I can.

Bump. Still be around when I get home from work, please.

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>>52276568
Feels fine. The +1 is a little weak, you could change it to "look at top 3, put 1 in hand rest in yard" and it would be fine.

>>52277766
Hmm, OK. Although, I'm wondering about changing the middle ability now. While I like targeted discard, I feel like it's kinda weak where it is now. Could I get away with casting the card without paying its mana cost, maybe at -3? Or maybe I should try something else. Recoil?

>card
Meh.

>>52278939
Hmm, seems cool. Maybe uncommon though?

>>52248131
>>52250198
Remembrance is flavorful, compact, yet has a lot design space. Kudos.

>>52264774
Lifebond is ok. Rage is too fiddly and has memory issues. Delusion is either really good or really useless depending on how you cost it.

You shouldn't do downside keywords, and keywording Disease doesn't give you any design advantages (it doesn't save lines of text, the ability doesn't need non-strict wording, you don't need a keyword to classify cards when you can just look for -1/-1 counters).

Dissipate is meh. Shift is very strong - hand to stack is one zone change, stack to battlefield is another, and battlefield to graveyard is a third. That's +3 card advantage (if you have the mana) just playing normal magic. Flickers and graveyard shenanigans just add on top of it.

>>52279238
Why did you put everything inside a spoiler?

>>52279274
Because I hit ctrl-s rather than ctrl-c

>>52279298
Ah, I see, you do the same thing I do. Well, at least it went through.

>>52272280
Hallowed Mist Beast is too strong/cheap. 4 power evasion and protection for 4. And gives some of your other creatures evasion for good measure.

Murdag is too big for a counterspell on a stick. Perhaps too cheap for a supercounterspell (can't be countered unless Stifled, ignores uncounterability). Partner is unnecessary - it's not like he encourages any synergy.

Gia is just a dumb design made so you can one shot players out of combat.

I don't see what's black about Ryota. Also too cheap for such a strong anthem given that Human is a well supported subtype.

>Nameless
>not just having one creature type, but all of them
"three" not "3". Use words for things you can physically count, numerals for things you can't. Otherwise, it looks strong but not broken.

The others are alright.

>>52275449
I like this a lot.

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>>52279071
A Recoil should be fine as the -2 sense it's starting with such a low loyalty count anyway.

>>52279383
Huh, a very weird type of cancle. Feels fine, if very under powered. I think if it was a 2/2 it would be more fitting as a rare.

>>52279383
Just counter the spell and have its controller get two tokens.

>>52271128
Fuck. I do it sometimes but I forget at other times

>>52279866
Seems like a really good body for the cost, even with the Threshold requirement.

>>52281846
>turn 1 5/5

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>>52281727
Does it feel too good? I can shift it down to a 4/4, or make it cost more.

>>52281846
2 cards for a turn 1 5/5 seems really strong as an early cheese, but sense the 5/5 has no real major upside he should be fine.

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>>52282069
Yeah, I thought about that too just after uploading it. Maybe it should cost a little more to cast it without mana.

>>52282086
>Threshold: 9 dmg beatdown, with trample AND hexproof
It seems unbalanced, because with its mana and threshold requirement, it feels clunky, but once it gets online it would be a monster that's very hard to stop

>>52282157
I would not lower it's stats if there's 2 creatures sacced, as it could very easily make it a 4-for-1 in your opponents favor.
Perhaps remove the discard-cost on its ability?

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>>52282196
Makes sense.

>>52279238
>Remembrance is flavorful, compact, yet has a lot design space. Kudos.
Thanks anon. I'm not very good at designing cards or mechanics, so it's good to know I can do something decent every now and again.

>>52282287
Not bad. It can't protect itself and it's just a chumpable body, but it can somewhat replace what you sac to it if you go that route casting it. I do like me some spellshaping. I think it should be a GU gold card though; blue can do what this does with instants and sorceries, but not so much with creatures.

>>52282086
This thing would be its set's Siege Rhino. Yikes.

>>52282022
I don't like Hellbent in green here; it's a BR ability word. Also not a fan of what it does because it can potentially shut off all your other Hellbent cards.

>>52281935
I can see this in white, but not so much in red.

>>52281914
This is fine.

>>52279866
I have to assume your set is pushed.

I've been thinking of bashing out a new cycle of Phyrexian Praetors with hybrid mana in enemy colors. Good idea or bad idea?

>>52284620
We won't know till you post them.

>>52285123
The "another" kinda bugs me because it doesn't start as a creature. But the idea seems cool, Though I could never see this effect in mono-White. I think hybrid UB would work though. Anyway, as for wording, you could use
>Whenever a nontoken creature you control dies, you may exile that card. If you do, ~ becomes a copy of that card and it gains this ability.
So you don't have to exile everything, including Soul Clay.
Or something like Faerie Artisans
>Whenever a nontoken creature you control dies, create a token that's a copy of that creature. Then exile all other tokens created with ~.

Hmm, actually, after looking at Cemetary Puca, I'm wondering if this should be upped in cost and rarity.

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Hybrid mana I guess.

>>52291704
Should probably say
>When ~ enters the battlefield, if it's on the battlefield,

>>52279615
Thanks, I'll take most of those into consideration.

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>>52292883
New revisions. I could use some more critiquing though.

>>52292996
>samurai without bushido
reeeeeeeee

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I have a strange fondness for this design.

>>52291704
I think the wording for Animate Dead style effects is too convoluted to use unless there's an excellent reason for it. Card's fine aside from that minor gripe, though.

>>52292996
Gift of Kruphix doesn't feel UG. I get that it's kind of unblockable, but MUST GO FACE feels red.

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>>52292374
>>52294457
Why does everyone have such a problem with this?

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>>52294531
I imagine he wants it to work so the only way the recurred creature can stay on the battlefield is if the aura is attached to it. Without the "if it's on the battlefield" clause, you can manipulate the stack to get around that, recurring a creature without having the aura attached to it. Lightform doesn't use that clause because it doesn't try to incorporate that downside into the card.

>>52292996
>Wow, this art looks JUST LIKE Kruphix! I'm sure that's just a coincidence though.

>>52294531
>>52294599
Let me try to simplify this: It's like with the old O-Ring wording, you can mess with the stack to get the upside without the downside. It's just not how the card was intended to be used. Actually, nearly everything about Animate Dead is designed to make sure it gets used in a very specific way, and the convoluted wording is required for that.

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>>52294457
Grizzled Leotau is vanilla with the same body, but with a much more strict GW cost. Yours isn't egregiously out of line or anything, but it at least flirts with being too undercosted. That said, it is a fun, solid design and I can definitely see why you'd be fond of it.

>>52274122

Holy* card much like

*littorally

>>52295813
I thibk it's worth pointing out that Grizz only has a 3.2 on Gatherer.

>card
Nice, looks good.

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>>52295813
Did someone say votive?

>sacrifice the birds in ritualized attempts
"ritualized" is superfluous, perhaps?

I like the card, anyway.

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>>52297930
At first I thought this was pretty neat, but a bit of the novelty wore off when I remembered you can Haunt your own stuff, which makes this a lot less interesting, but still kind of neat overall.

>>52295813
This is a really good flavor card as well as being a solid GU card.

>>52294457
This feels only slightly too good. I like the overall feel of it though; it's a well-made card.

>>52292996
The Nameless is pretty neat. Ulalume needs a bit of a re-balance if you ask me; I'd make her untap X-2 lands instead, so you at the very least have to pay her normal casting cost to get her each time, then give her a better body. As has been said, Gift of Kruphix doesn't feel GU. It feels R or BR or even RG. Ylva is a neat concept but I'm not sure it'd play very well. Lady Reverie feels weak to me.

Just making edition cards with keywords that already exist as mechanics, but aren't keywords. For some reason I like making Hexproof replacements. I wish I could remember the exact wording on the last one I came up with; I think it was "can't be the target of spells or abilities that cost less" or something like that.

>>52267546
just looking at the first picture
The wording is all over the place and occasionally breaks the cards, study how actual mtg cards are worded.

Roy Mustang is strong as fuck.

Neither of your named characters are legendary.

You talk a lot about alchemy spells but haven't actually shown any

>>52298612
surprised we haven't seen anything like this in Commander yet. Or maybe we have and I just missed it? I haven't even looked at the latest round of decks.

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>>52283733
>Not bad. It can't protect itself and it's just a chumpable body, but it can somewhat replace what you sac to it if you go that route casting it. I do like me some spellshaping. I think it should be a GU gold card though; blue can do what this does with instants and sorceries, but not so much with creatures.
Blue can pretty much dig into anything (ex.: Forbidden Alchemy). Limiting it to creatures because of the green side shouldn't be a problem.

>I don't like Hellbent in green here; it's a BR ability word. Also not a fan of what it does because it can potentially shut off all your other Hellbent cards.
I can see hellbent being green in my set since Horrors will also be green and the color itself will either represent the corrupted aspect of nature (Green horrors, nature itself infected by demons) or druids/shamans and their connection with the "uncorrupted" parts of nature (Green mages from the UG "guild").

Also, yeah, a bad player might activite the draw ability in the wrong situation, but that's why B and G will be filled with discard outlets (and because of the hellbent itself of course).

>I can see this in white, but not so much in red.
Yeah. you're right on this one.

>>52299010
>limiting it to creatures shouldn't be a problem
Eh, creatures are still a green focus, so it stilts the feel of the card towards green. Hybrid is hard to do though.

>I can see Hellbent being in green
Well, you can, but WotC doesn't. As custom card makers we have more freedom, so if you have no intentions on following the pie 100% that's your prerogative, but it's against standard design conventions. Horrors being in green also feels odd, though that has much more precedent to support it.

>bad players
We don't have to design for them thankfully, just like we don't have to be as mindful about complexity. Well, unless you constrain yourself with standard design conventions, which is a personal choice. I personally do, which is why I pointed out the anti-synergy with Hellbent, but I tend to give feedback from the standpoint of someone looking at a card fitting into the actual, existing game and all its limitations and whatnot.

>The Hunger
This name feels like it should be a legend, but I guess most of the Incarnations debunk that. Maybe just "Hunger" and have it be a Horror Incarnation? Power level should be fine compared to Devouring Swarm.

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>>52265579
>>52265191
>>52264989
Fixed both issues.

>>52299312
How are you doing on your set? And who are you again? It feels weird to me to call you Pirate anon. I hope that guy is doing well wherever he is.

>>52299312
>>52299387
Oh yeah, the card. Seems fine.

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>>52299387
Sets along way to go. Been preoccupied with life issues.

Set wise I'm trying to figure out the correct number of pirates at common for grixis, balance them and how to link them mechanically.
I'm guessing 3 of each and use saboteur abilities on them.

>>52299521
This should probably be uncommon.

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>>52299233
>Eh, creatures are still a green focus, so it stilts the feel of the card towards green. Hybrid is hard to do though.
Yeah, creatures are one of green focus, but blue can fetch for creatures as it can fetch for anything else. The card does swings more for green than blue, but still a card that does not break anything in blue pie.

>Well, you can, but WotC doesn't. As custom card makers we have more freedom, so if you have no intentions on following the pie 100% that's your prerogative, but it's against standard design conventions.
That's more MaRo's philosophy than anything IMO. Being "handless" and agressive makes sense in green if green is painted as a reckless/wild color on the set.

>Horrors being in green also feels odd, though that has much more precedent to support it.
Really? They felt way more weird in blue in SoI IMO.

>This name feels like it should be a legend, but I guess most of the Incarnations debunk that. Maybe just "Hunger" and have it be a Horror Incarnation? Power level should be fine compared to Devouring Swarm.
Makes sense. Consider it done.

>>52299684
>blue creature fetch
Technically yes, which is why I didn't stonewall it, but I'm someone who considers "card feel" more heavily than you do, I'd wager. I just wouldn't do it myself, but since you yourself admit it swings more green than blue, I think we both agree that hybrid is just kind of hard to do unless it's a simple card.

"Handless and aggressive" is red, by definition, but you seem to have made up your mind, so if I can, I'll try to keep that in mind when looking at your stuff.

Lot more "fast and loose" than I'm used to in these threads these days. Not complaining; maybe I'm just out of touch anymore.

>not!swords
Hm. Yeah, I suppose, but consider Last Breath before you finalize this.

>>52299521
>Been preoccupied with life issues.
Aren't we all?

>card
Better Suspension Field/Silkwrap? At a lower rarity? Eh, not sure about that. I'm also wondering if something else could be done with the flavor. But the only thing that comes to mind is Chained to the Rocks that enchants an Island instead of a Mountain. Actually, I might just make that.

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>>52299950

>>52299995
Can you find me an example that isn't around eight years old?

>>52299831
>but I'm someone who considers "card feel" more heavily than you do, I'd wager.
This came off a bit differently than I intended. I guess ultimately "card feel" is subjective, which is probably the reason we were debating the card to begin with.

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>>52299995
>>52300041
Ah, and I believe this card seems relevant, if we're going to talk about precedence.

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>>52299521
>>52299950
Done.

>>52299684
Eh, not sure about this. I'd probably make it rare just on reflex. Anyway, wording should be
>Its controller gains life equal to its power.
"It's" means "It is" which would make the sentence read "It is controller" which needless to say sounds very odd. Also, don't say "it" then "that creature" later in the same sentence. If you use both, it should be the other way around.

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>>52299950
Done.

>>52300160
Plainswalkers could just plainswalk away...

>>52300191
Wow, I just looked it up out of curiosity, there are only four creatures with Plainswalk.

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>>52299831
>Hm. Yeah, I suppose, but consider Last Breath before you finalize this.
Maybe making it double W/B how solve it? Also, "non-artifact" because of the flavor and artifact matters in this set (the UR guild is all about artifacts and spellslinging).

>"Handless and aggressive" is red, by definition, but you seem to have made up your mind, so if I can, I'll try to keep that in mind when looking at your stuff.
Now that I think about it, you're right. Red and green would end up overlaping. Well, back to the drawing board. I still need a mechanic for GB.

>>52300128
Fix'd. Also, nerfed to make it stay at uncommon rarity.

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>>52300258
You only use hyphens with subtypes. Observe how this card excludes both a type and a subtype, but does it differently for each.

>>52300258
>I still need a mechanic for GB.
Do you need a pre-existing one? Because graveyard stuff always works. Morbid might be good too.

>>52300319
I'd make this rare, were I you.

>>52300319
Red no longer gets redirects.

>>52300440
Source?

>>52300501
Have you seen any printed in the past eight years?

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>>52300298
Fix'd.

>>52300315
I've got to admit, it looks way better with Morbid. I'll experiment on the rest of the GB cards tomorrow.

>>52300339
Yeah, it does feels like a rare.

>>52300440
Which is bullshit. I hope that Wizard realises one day that they shouldn't monopolize the stack into blue only.

>>52298360
I'm surprised you didn't see it it's the first one I posted. See >>52267443

>>52300562
Yeah, it does look better this way. Hope the rest of them work out.

>>52300530
Fair enough, but you're talking about an ability that shows up only rarely. Of Red and Blue combined, you only get it on, like, twenty cards.

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>>52300191
Good point.

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Last one before I go.

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Random idea I had to make multi-color devotion themed on Ravnica Guilds.
Probably need some work on these for balance, but they're just the first bunch to demonstrate the effect.

>>52300568
My bad, wasn't looking very carefully.

Based on a cursory five second glance I feel the need to inform you that split second is cancer, and that I don't think Macabre Fusing works as a card, especially since exiling the creatures face down doesn't make any sense

>>52300963
Honestly, it just seems like a total pain. Also, for the Gruul one, have you never seen any P/T-defining effect before? Surely you must've seen a Goyf before.

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>>52301238
Yea, fixed it. I don't know why I had it the way it was before, probably just me rushing it or something.

>>52301457
>~'s power and toughness are each equal to your allegienace to the Gruul Clans.
Numbers should probably be changed to
>N or greater

>>52300780
At 7 mana most players would be able to pay the extra 3 to kill it. I also don't buy the double red.

>>52302460
Clever name. I suppose it's limited enough to warrant the CMC4 and no double U in the cost.

>>52300963
Orzoh doesn't fit them at all. They really don't do any ramping, and they won't have much use for it unless exploit is in the set, which would only make it feel too similar to the past set.
Suggested changes:
An over costed board wipe that costs less for Allegiance. Possibly does the soul separator effect on all of your creatures as well.
Same thing as it currently does, but instead of having the artifacts produce mana, you can pay something and sac it to grave rob a creature + make it white, black, and a spirit.

>>52302460
I like it!

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Kinda new to this. Want to make an edgy set where all the commons are hybrids (10 per ally pair, 8 per enemy pair). Anything constructive appreciated

>>52305397
Really bad idea. Hybrid is notoriously difficult to design for, because every single card should be able to be cast with either color alone. For example, cards 3, 7, and 9 here don't fit mono-Blue, because they use keywords Blue doesn't normally get access to, Vigilance, Lifelink, and Indestructible and Lifelink, respectively.

>>52300258
I wouldn't find it unreasonable to add a non-black clause as well. Compare it to Go for the Throat, which is excellent removal. Beyond Death may heal the controller but exiles as well, which is much stronger

>>52305758
Right, 9 is particularly bad. If I have more clauses like 6, will it be fine? Also iirc blue creatures can get vigilance and lifelink, its just not a main keyword for them right?

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>>52305758
How is this? I realized I didn't have any of white's removal or blue's counterspells at common so figured I'd chuck it in.

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Wizards really needs to make pirate tribal a thing.

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Terribly sorry about the white frame

>>52263928
why not just have it cost one more and not need the tap and end of turn? really you get to use it most of the time anyway

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>>52305397
>white borders
gross
>CUW01
Not monoblue
>CUW03
Not monoblue
>CUW05
Not monowhite
>CUW07
Not monowhite or monoblue
>CUW09
Not monoblue

>>52305986
You might as well be making a gold card at this point. Or a split card.

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>>52306801
>white borders
yeah I like em lul
Think I've fixed most of the offenders. Also includes first 2 Rakdos and 10 dimir hybrid commons. Let me know if there are any more major breaches I've missed.

>split cards
I really don't like the design, even if its efficient. I'll probably convert the more autistic ones in my set to split eventually.

>>52305941
I think 6 is OK on a conceptual level. It probably needs to be worded differently, but I don't know for sure off the top of my head.

>Also iirc blue creatures can get vigilance and lifelink, its just not a main keyword for them right?
Uh, no? Look, technically, any color could get any keyword. The main problem is justifying it. Look at the OP image, see how it talks about the evergreen keywords? For each of those keywords, the colors that appear next to it need none to very little justification. They need to be balanced, but that's it. For colors that don't appear there, you need very good reasoning to justify it. Usually when a color gets keywords it normally doesn't get, it has to be enabled with a color that does get that keyword.

Here's a quick list I got of mono-Blue creatures with the words "vigilance" and/or "lifelink" in their text.

http://magiccards.info/query?q=c%21u+t%3Acreature+%28o%3Avigilance+or+o%3Alifelink%29&v=card&s=issue

The first gets Lifelink as an activated ability that needs Black, a color that gets Lifelink. The same is true for the second, but with White.

The third has Vigilance, but you have to sac the creature unless you spend White to cast it. And, of course, White gets Vigilance.

Fourth requires a Plains, which produces White mana.

Fifth requires both White and Black.

Sixth requires White.

Seventh is a good example that not all cards are good justifications. Jodah's Avenger was made for the Planar Chaos set from the Time Spiral block, a block that played around with the color pie quite a bit. In this instance, that's the justification for mono-Blue Vigilance, that the colors are so different in this block they can do things they normally can't. The same is true for the following two cards, both made for the same set and block.

The last two are very old cards. They have no justification, it's just that the color pie has changed so much from when they were printed that they are no longer considered in-color.

>>52298230
I like the idea of "untapped hexproof" being a thing, and this card in general. I'd bump it to rare?

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Trying to make creatures a little less like enchantments. Cost reduced by 1, first ability changed from upkeep triggered ability to an activated ability.

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>>52299387
>I hope that guy is doing well wherever he is
I did a bit of internet sleuthing a while back. They're alive and well, but their interest has shifted from MTG to a Star Wars miniature-model game.

>>52300440
Calling bullshit on this.

>>52302460
Neat!

>>52308364
>set with a strong hybrid focus
best of luck with UB, it's a real bitch

Remember that vanilla creatures exist and are important.

>>52309363
If you wanted to make your creatures less like enchantments, then making them do creature stuff would be a good part.

Why would I ever attack or block with this?

>>52308364
Most of these seem hybrid just for the sake of fitting into your set's theme. Wizards already made that mistake, it's called Shadowmoor block.

All the ones that have one activated ability of each color, or require you to pay one of each color to choose that mode, or those kinds of similar things might as well not be hybrid at all. It misses the whole point of hybrid.

>>52309638
>Why would I ever attack or block with this?
Why would you ever attack or block with Azami?

>>52308944
yeah dont worry, i realized the error of my ways and changed it above

>>52309661
Yeah I hear you. What if, for hte more autistic creatures, I made them vanilla hybrids? I was thinking if I made all these weird hybrid commons, I could make super straightforward uncommons - strong counterspells in blue, strong exiles in white, etc.
>>52309606
Yeah I might just revamp the autistic ones and turn them into more vanilla type cards. very good point.

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Are these triggers OK for the token? Or should it be just for each combat phase? Hmm, but then I'd have to give it Haste. Only on ETB?

>>52312032
Seems weird to be able to produce a legendary token when there's already that same legendary token on the field.

Maybe add an "if you don't control charlie" clause?

>>52312082
I think I'll just make it an activated ability then.

>>52309331
Thanks, but why rare? I figured the complexity wasn't that high.

>>52299190
"The active player controls" is mostly unneeded

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Trying to play up Felicia's bad luck powers here. Kinda unsure how exactly to do it though. Should I try to focus more on thievery?

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>>52301512
Should I increase the tax or change the effect? About the double red, yeah, it's unnedded.

>>52305906
It'd feel weird to cast it in mono-white IMO if it excluded only black. Also, I feel like Go for the Throat + Path can cost W/B W/B just fine.

>>52313746
Should it be just "target player" then?

>>52314213
>Should it be just "target player" then?
That or "Creatures attack this turn if able", to go around any hexproof/shroud shenanigans

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>>52314244
Ok. Consider it done.

>>52314213
>Whenever a creature attacks, its controller gains 1 life.
"its" not "it's"
>All creatures have haste and attack each combat if able.
"each turn" is correct, but Wizards prefers "each combat" now.
>At the beginning of each player's end step, destroy all creature's that player controls that didn't attack this turn.
I'd suggest adding a "except for creatures that couldn't attack" clause to the end of this, but it's your choice.

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>>52314557
>"its" not "it's"
Fix'd. I keep forgetting this since english is not my first language.

>"each turn" is correct, but Wizards prefers "each combat" now.
Makes sense.

>I'd suggest adding a "except for creatures that couldn't attack" clause to the end of this, but it's your choice.
I don't get it. That clause would turn it into a totally different card. I want that enchantment to turn stuff like Pacifism into hard removal since creatures that don't attack for any reason get destroyed.

>>52314690
>I keep forgetting this since english is not my first language.
Don't worry, there are plenty of native English speakers who make the same mistake.

>I don't get it.
That's why I said it was up to you. I wasn't entirely sure if you wanted it to kill Defenders and Pacifism-ed creatures or not.

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how does this look? too powerful? maybe I should take away the haste?

also i don't know if i got the wording exactly correct on the first ability

any general thoughts/opinions would be nice

>>52314737
I would change the text into "whenever another rogue"

>>52314737
It looks like an underpowered lord that can make tokens. Pretty meh.

>>52314751
that's where i got the feeling that i messed up, i couldn't quite figure exactly what

>>52314791
suggestions for improving it?

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>>52314732
>That's why I said it was up to you. I wasn't entirely sure if you wanted it to kill Defenders and Pacifism-ed creatures or not.
That's exactly the point. To make combat hyper agressive with almost no blockers (except for vigilance, flash and untapping creatures probably).

It simply fits the playstyle of the Samurai tribal and it has a really good synergy with Provoke, which is a returning mechanic in this set.

>>52314852
>Samurai tribal
What?

>Provoke
Oh. Ew.