Meanwhile on dragon /tg/... This /dragon/ not /degenerate/ stop

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I have a very simple question for you, /dragon/.

Picrelated - Yes/No/NeverAgain?

>>52210665
No
Fuck those over confident pricks
All high and mighty, always "holyer than thou"
If i could rip each and everyone of their human humping throats out i would

>>52211653
>Fuck those over confident pricks
Well, yeah, why do you think I'm asking? This.

Heard they can get kinky.

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>>52211653
Tell us how you really feel.

>>52210589
What is that from? for I have a deck box with that on the cover and I have been curious about it for a while now.

>>52210589
>stop raping wyverns and griffons you soft bellied fucks

But it's okay to keep raping the princesses, right?

>>52213489
It's not rape, it's a sex toy.

I want black dragons to go.

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>>52213569
Whites need to fuck off as well. In fact, I'd go so far as to say all low wis/int specimens should no longer be classified as dragons.

>>52213657
And what's your excuse for having more than one head, too? Compensating for your small hoard?

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REMOVE HUMANS!

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>>52213510
Maybe if you spent less time fucking primates and more time killing gods we wouldn't NEED to make dragons great again.

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>>52210589
Who /hydra/ here and when will we get our own board? I mean, I don't even hoard, and have you ever seen a hydra with a breath weapon?

It's ridiculous that we get lumped in with these one-headed bird-lizards just because we both have scales.

>>52213836
Stop sucking your own balls fag.

>>52213569
>being this much of a bitch chromatic
Go back to your fancy mountains and shit and stay there, this is why nobody likes you.

>>52213842
HOLY FUCK GET OUT
HYDRA ARE DRAGON FOO IN D&D

DOES NO ONE READ ECOLOGY ANYMORE?

THEY'RE NOT EVEN INTELLIGENT

YOU LITERALLY LET OTU A PHERMONE
THAT DRAGONS HOME IN ON SO THEY CAN EAT YOU

YOU FUCKING PLEBIAN SHIT-STOPPING CUNT.

>>52213569
I AGREE

GET OUT SWAMP SHITTERS

>>52213863
>jelly

>>52213842
Hydras are fucking shitters always samefagging

>>52213657
Wait I thought that in order to be a proper dragon you had to have high int/wis and otherwise you are just a giant lizard, magic capability is a must as well.

>>52214255
A lot of chromatics have sub-par intelligence and wisdom

>>52214197
Which is why if anything you should want us to have our own board where you don't have to deal with it!

>>52214125
I will have you know that the Lernean breed stands as the most intellectual hydra breed in existence! We are, after all, the direct descendants of the original.

>>52214390
>Still food for all breeds of Dragon
>Still got one brain
>Still harvested for Dragon attaracting Phermones
>Still Harvested for food anyway
>Still harvested for infinite Dragon-bone warriors or Greek warrior men
>Listed number one on necromancer favourites in Dragon magazine
Shut the fuck up, you're not a fucking Dragon.

>>52214381
So they do ... never knew that how do they cast spells then?

>>52214506
Age category, whether they're involved in that faggot-ass fucking Dragon Jyhad (No really, theres a literal Dragon Jyhad Dragons play like World of Darkness except Dragons) or are Klauth life increasing nom-som-nom-spawn or that Dragon template for Dragons that somehow fuck up and forget everything ever.

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Why do you guys take advantage of these poor things?

>>52214888
Because the need the Money to put towards the Gnome Genocide fund.

And who here wouldn't fuck Deekin?

I'd fuck Deekin.

Who /ancient/ here
I just want all these bitchy sub-species to die off
Bahamut died for this

>>52213657
>red dragon


I want to see a white dragon humiliate a red dragon and steal the hoard.

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Friendly reminder that Smaug got punked by a hobbit and shot down by a mortal with a bow.

>>52215053
Friendly reminder that you haven't evolved legs and are talking about wyvrns
Seriously fuck off sub-species filth

guise how do i shot fireboll?

>>52214888
The little shits worship me, out of their own volition mind you, to the point were it's annoying and I'm a dragon. There is no way I'm not using minions like that as cannon fodder.

>be me
>died 100 years ago
>risen as a zombie by a necromancer
>ate him
wat do now?

>>52215287
First you animate the necromancer as your undead servant (alternatively go through his books and learn how to do that first). Next make more undead and concur the world like you were already trying to do.

>>52215287
go guard dragon graveyards, as is your job now?

>>52215049

>That spoiler

Look here you fucking degenerate. There are a lot of things we'll tolerate but not that. You can be a gender queer human fucker but don't talk about touching other dragon's hordes here or I'll call the mods on you.

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>>52216099
Your dub has convinced me of my sin. I will instead add her hoard to mine and make her subservient to me and only me.

With the size of the white dragon, it could basically mount the red dragon.

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>>52216447

>White on Red Cuckold
>I'd be pic related if I could actually sweat

What do you like to hoard? I used to do the whole gold and jewels thing when I was a newfag but now I like hoarding halfling skulls.

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So can we all at least agree that metallics are a bunch of fucking losers?

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>>52216552

Having uploaded my soul into a digital construct I have taken to hoarding various bits of data such as music and video files I find across the EXNET.

I occasionally break out the hoarde when I need to listen to something after uploading myself into my combat body.

>>52216643
At least I don't swim in shit you swamp nigger.

hey /knight/ I need help. my dragon left for groceries. pls send help.

lel

I think OP expected a different direction.

>>52216552
As a white dragon, I find the aurora as beautiful.
I hoard Light. One day the sun will be mine, then the stars.

And rip thread.

All right folks, that was short lived.

I am not OP.

Oh, wow I love seeing a dead thread again.

(Really though, I expected more)

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>>52210589
Why does everyone forget about Wurms...?

>>52221047
uhhh who knows, have a (you) to add to your hoard.
sooo no /k/nights on? I could really use some saving

Every thread about dragons always devolves into dragon sex talk, so instead;

How do you like to portray or use dragons in your setting? I've seen it done a million different ways and its always a little different each time. Seems like no matter how you do it someone will complain.

Also somebody post the picture of the cute dragon with the ballgag that says 'dragon fuckers league!', I forgot to save it last time I saw it.

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>>52221723
Massive slutty NEETS, who spend all day inside their cave, because most live in a shitty, icy wasteland. Sometimes they pick a kobold at random from their warren, and pamper them, treating them as if they're the dragon's favourite, even letting them fuck the dragon, something akin to God himself doing the same, and then adds the kobold to it's harem, where they are only allowed to cuddle the dragon. Then, when they die, they get sewn into a huge blanket for the dragon.

They also spend most of their time doing... Well, basically this.

>>52216552
Dude, never stop building dat sweet hoard of gold and gems. However, most dragons develop an eccentricity to hoard such as in your case is halfling skulls: mine is potions and alchemical materials (although I do actually use them which is weird, the materials not the potions).

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>>52222489
>>52216813
>>52216552

And this is why you deserve to be sword raped by a bunch of dimwitted tin cans. Hoard this, hoard that... all you care about is sitting in your basements on measly piles of trinkes until your scales rust off so that a peasant with a pitchfork can do you in. You lack vision, you lack scope.

Why would you want to settle for that when you can actually get out of your lairs and conquer those gnats? Make all of them your slaves, and those that don't make good slaves can serve as food.

If you're fine wity being a glorified sideshow attractions for wandering knights then fine, but I'm starting a world where dragons actually rule, and those who disagree can burn. Who's with me?

Is it weird that humans have basically started worshipping me? They bring me lots of food and treasures, are perfectly fine with me sleeping in the middle of their city, they respect me as some kind of ancient guardian, and they all pretty much enjoy being in my presence? Occasionally these adventurous folk come through town and the two dwarves make it a point to spend hours drinking with me. I'm a little alarmed that they're able to keep up though.

I've started buying and selling weapons and armor that they go and find. LITERALLY making anywhere from three to five times as much gold just flipping gear as they are going out and finding the shit.

>>52224075
Draganon, I'm going to make a suggestion that worked wonders for me.

Banks.

You see, people like their money. They like it to be safe. And sure, I could have gone and just taken it, but there's a better plan. I allow humans and such to come and add their money to my hoard.

I went from a middling sized pile of gold to needing an entire secondary cave complex complete with vaults and me-sized tunnels just to store it all. And all I had to do was promise those humans not to let "adventurer" types take it (like I would anyway).

And when they want to take their money back? Well, I just charge them a fee to take it back. One of those trickster Greens (you know the type, I'm sure) has told me I should start charging "interest" and actually LOANING my gold out, but humans have very short lifespans, I'm not yet sure what sort of fee I should charge.

Guaranteed, it works. I am the linchpin that the economies of two empires and five independent city-states revolve around, and I'm working on a growing kingdom off to the south.

I don't even have to take those princesses any more, I was actually OFFERED one in exchange for a loan as collateral!

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>>52210589
Is there a separate board for constructs in the shape of dragons?

Because I'm very flammable.

My friend white dragon just text me that he's gonna kidnap an Amazon princess, I'm not sure if this is a good idea, guys should I stop him?

>>52224160
>>>/o/

>>52224214
Kidnap her yourself before he does.

You folks are aware that your time is coming to an end, right? You will be erased by a threat you never knew existed.

>>52222858
Hey my obsession helps deal with the tin cans quite a bit, not to mention it makes the gnats think that I am somewhat more civilized and thus acceptable as a neighbor. This is true despite occasionally stealing from merchant caravans and eating a few cows. However, social ascension takes time and trying to go out an conquer the world will only get you killed by a bunch of adventurers, that has been well documented. However, inserting yourself into the political system when the time is right however is a much better idea and has shown to be successful many times over.
>>52224214
It depends on where the civilization is and how large it is, but in general it is a bad idea as you can get killed trying to capture the princess much more easily and the princess herself is capable of killing you if you're unlucky. I don't do so personally as there are no civilizations like that near my cave but I know dragons who do it regularly, it's just risky.

>>52224367
Fuck off nyarly

>>52224368
>Hey my obsession helps deal with the tin cans quite a bit, not to mention it makes the gnats think that I am somewhat more civilized and thus acceptable as a neighbor. This is true despite occasionally stealing from merchant caravans and eating a few cows. However, social ascension takes time and trying to go out an conquer the world will only get you killed by a bunch of adventurers, that has been well documented. However, inserting yourself into the political system when the time is right however is a much better idea and has shown to be successful many times over.

There are few things that could prove my point better than this, and this is why you'll always be second best.

You try to work yourself into an existing system, I'm going to make a new system inherently centered on us. Get aboard, loser, we're going to make dragons great again.

>>52224378
Who?

>>52224420
Ok go and get yourself killed then, the current system is centered upon a single powerful ruler, it doesn't take too long to be at the top once you're accepted by the society. Once you are you can make a dragon kingdom and adjust the society however you want. All it takes is for you to not be an impatient idiot subject to your basest urges.

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/Ancient/ here.
I've been around some 2000 year's now and let me tell you, cults are the way to go.
I made a warrior cult that worships dragons AND said that the shortlived fucks could become us!
The fucking idiots believed me!
I haven't been attacked for about 1200 years.
This is definitely the way to go.

>>52224573
>I haven't been attacked for about 1200 years
>implying dragon-slayer scums are not on this board
That shithead George started all of this

>>52224515
>Ok go and get yourself killed then, the current system is centered upon a single powerful ruler, it doesn't take too long to be at the top once you're accepted by the society. Once you are you can make a dragon kingdom and adjust the society however you want. All it takes is for you to not be an impatient idiot subject to your basest urges.

Oh please. Are you saying that you're doing what you're doing not to ultimately satsisfy the same urges?

Plus, social climing? Really? You are a petty lizard living in a cave under the hills in the countryside, who's going to take you seriously? Much less willingly let you into a position of authority.

What kind of degenerate subspecies produced such an imbred retard like you? Hydras?

>>52224626
He didn't even slay that pathetic excuse for a dragon.
He just put a fucking ribbon on it.
A FUCKING RIBBON.

>>52224658
Was that a true dragon though? Not some sort of wurm or serpent?

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>>52224678
I don't know what to call this.

>>52224634
I don't live in the fucking countryside. My main lair in a full blown laboratory I have potions that can do more things than your tiny brain can even imagine. I have multiple exits to it that are all heavily trapped (I don't trigger them) that allow me to quickly access just about anywhere in the kingdom I am working on getting. I could do it by force but I know how that turns out. If there is one thing I can't stand it's a fucking dumbass who doesn't know shit about what the fuck they're talking about telling me how to do something. I am respected and am a few YEARS away from controlling the entire Kingdom where I live I don't want you fucking this up for me because you are suck a fucking retard that you don't know what happens when a dragon tries to conquer the world, they get themselves killed every single fucking time. And then I am set back a century or so because the humans don't trust dragons any more.

>>52224880
For such an enlightened being you sure have thin scales.

Plus, I don't believe you. Potions, laboratories? You're a cattle raider and a petty thief. And the reason you settle for that is that you probably too weak for anything better. I bet you tried once, got your scaly ass kicked by a single knight with a single squire, and since then did not stick your nose outside of your lair. Do you even know what a human princess smells like? Sure you don't you kidnapping-virgin.

Just because you're too small (are you at least bigger than a human) to play in the big league doesn't everyone else is too. Where is your kingdom, by the way? Ooh, you're got YEARS away from controlling it? If they still tolerate your soft-bellied ass I'll be done with it in months time, so I'll probably start with it. You can watch if you want, maybe you'll learn something.

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>>52221723

>>52224573
2000 years and you still don't understand how apostrophes work.

>>52225499
Hey, 2000 years ago that was our grammar. Far better than what you have these days.

>>52225691
>petroglyphs
>grammar
I'm sending an adventuring party to your lair to tutor you in linguistics.

>>52225171
I have had some dumbass try to do what you're doing a few times and it always messes up what I'm doing so forgive me if I sound angry it's because I don't want my plans to be set back AGAIN. I raid cattle because I still need to eat and contrary to popular belief you creating gold using alchemy is really hard (at least not without using other materials that are just as valuable) sure I might be able to generate a large profit but I still have urges and I fulfill them in the classic dragon fashion because it comforts me to do so and it has limited effect on the populace thus it is unlikely to get me killed. As for not wanting to fight knights, that is laughable I could kill knights in my sleep, however, what I AM afraid of is proper COMPETENT adventurers, they can and will kill you if you are too destructive. I am being conservative in my estimate and it is an estimate for being in control of the entire kingdom rather than just a prominent city which I should be in charge of with in the week. The kingdom contains about 6 major cities acting as trade hubs to different areas around the kingdom as well as places for nobles to conduct important political stuff. There are also countless small villages each of them unique. It is a major world power, it is prominently human, and it has a particular interest in magic. You know what you have proven yourself to be an obstacle to my cause. You better watch yourself because I will come for you and I will kill you, consider yourself warned.

Human Knight here, how do I get a qt dragon girlfriend?

>>52225811
Tell them to wear strawberry-flavoured armour.

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What kinda dragon is this?

Why are you losers still plonking around on the Material plane, instead of the one attuned to your element?

>>52226255
That's not a dragon! That's a penis! Can't fool me.

>>52226160
If your plans are that easily foiled by outside force you're bad at making them. Not surprised really, all I'm hearing from you is excuses. "Can't raid villages, people die", 'Can't fight adventurers, they sting", "Can't burn castles, get out of breath", "Oh yeah, but at least I can kill knights! When my arthritis doesn't get me..."

Remember that real dragons get shit done. You haven't done nothing except sitting in your lair and occasionaly eating cows. Creating gold with aclhemy is difficult? You frog, get out and rob some palaces! Was your latest princess alchemical too?

Do you at least have WINGS?

>>52226184
Ask >>52226160 for a date, seems feminine enough for your tastes.

>>52226266
The Elemental Planes are rather boring to be honest and I always felt like something was missing there.

>>52214381
Stop presenting your prejudices as facts.

>>52226329
I'm not talking about regular adventurers, those are easy to deal with but ones that are actually very good at what they do kill dragons without batting an eye.

>>52226255
A bad dragon.

>>52226266
I moved to Astral long time ago, what the hell did you forget on Elementals?

>>52226388
>I'm not talking about regular adventurers
Do you think I am? Just how low-level you are?

/juvenile/ here (no bully), what's your expirience with kidnapping princes?

>>52226203
Eh. Sure. But they'll only taste that way if you get a 95% or higher on your exam.

>>52226550
dont bother, while politically heirs are quite important they seem to lack the bait capabilities for adventurers - if anyone shows up it'll just be an army ( and they usually don't carry any useful loot)

http://www.brian-peters.co.uk/Kemp%20Owyne.MP3
Thoughts on this human song? Their desire to romance dragons seems to have been around for longer than we thought.

>>52226607
But I'm not going to just take the prince and put him in my lair, I'll leave ransom demands. Won't they send ransom then if they know from the start that this is what I'm after?

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Mods are asleep post EP

Ah sorry about the dissaperence younglings but I had a nap.
Tell you what I'm gonna be answering some questions that you have.
Maybe you'll learn from this old bag of bones.

Hey guys, I just acquired a pretty decent amount of gold, but I need ideas on where to set up my hoard. Most of the caverns around here are filled with fucking dwarves and the rest have a bunch of knights circlejerking in them, so the traditional cavern idea is out of the picture. Any suggestions?

>>52226806
Maybe you could dig your own small cavern?
Big enough to hold a decent amount of dosh but small enough so that you can sleep infront of it to keep it safe from those dirty mountain dwellers.

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>>52216813
Follow your dreams bro.

>>52226806
You know what's real good? Monasteries.

They are remote, isolated, don't draw too much attention, easy to take over while bieng somewhat defensible. Some good snacks to get you started too. If you can, pick one not from some well-known order, something singular and not covered by paladins.

>>52226676

You are more likely to start a civil war if the chosen heir is gone as every Tom, Dick, and Harry with even the most tenuous relation to the throne will want to take power. Princesses rarely have this problem because a king can lose a princess without losing as much face, so they are more willing to deal.

>>52227007
I'm not the juvenile but isn't that good?
Watch the fireworks and all that?

>>52227030

Oh, hey, if that's your thing, wanting to swoop in and raid the war torn kingdom for whatever you want while everybody else is too busy fighting eachother, go for it. But if you want a nice stack of treasure or whatever to start your hoard ransoming a Princess can be much less messy.

>>52226786
How does it feel to wake up and see all of your hoard stolen, gramps?

>>52226255
Hey! I knew someone shifted around in my hoard give that back right away!

>>52226909
Remove spacers!

>>52227108
My cult protects me youngling.
Any thieves are executed and I know when there are thieves.

>>52227155
But what if it's the cult who are thieves? They know your sleeping rhythms, they know when it's safe to take stuff.

Humans were a mistake. How do we correct it?

>>52227186
I have placed my trust in my cult.
So what if a couple hundred coins are stolen?
I have them raid caravans and kingdoms daily.
I have entire rooms filled with art and magical items.
A couple coins do no damage to my pride.
Although I do have enchantments on my gold and art that freeze anyone other then me when touched.
So I'm pretty sure I'm safe.

>>52227223
Well, it's not our mistake, so why should we bother?

>>52227269
This

>>52226854
I doubt that would stop them, they're industrial little fuckers I'll give them that. Plus the knights might stop jerking each other off for a change if they see my fat ass hanging around outside.
>>52226945
Might give this a shot, even if it goes badly at least I'll get to eat some monks. I assume they'd taste decent, they just sit around all day. Better than dwarves at least.

>>52226639
That minstrel needs to be eaten.

This is one of the worst singings I've ever heard, and I'd had adventurer parties with post-modernistic conceptual bards trying to raid my hord, so I've heard shit.

As for the subject matter - you didn't thank that it was US who came up with >>52226255 , did you?

>>52227269
Why? One word: Wizards

>>52226422
If you don't think adventurers are a threat then you're stupid, adventures are the number one threat to your existence regardless of how old you are, if you haven't figured this out yet you will, probably by dying to one. I know this which I why I have a bunch of kobalds around my lair who have set up a bunch of Alchemical/machical traps on the path to my lair. Those guys are pretty smart too and I've given them a bunch of splash potions so they are actually a formidable defense. Then of course they have to go through me a dragon and all that entails buffed to infinity on my potions because I definitely heard that they were coming. I can probably deal with any group of adventurers you throw at me, but that doesn't mean I can't recognize them as a serious danger if you provoke enough of them.

>>52227626
What about them? I'm magic immune, to me wizards are peasants in campy clothing.

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>>52224573
>mfw cultists find out I wasn't lying about the rebirth part

>>52227647
Wyrm please. If adventurers are actually on your radar you don't have what it takes. What kind of herbivore environment have you been brought up? Did those kobolds actually raise you?

Keep getting rusty in your lair under the hill in the country side. Don't go outside, you might get burned when we get there.

>>52227758
Alright you made me chuckle.

>>52227840
You have to think about the future dude, maybe there is no adventurer that could kill you now but there could be in the future. Are you legit retarded because it certainly seems like it.

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D-dad?
Are you here?

>>52228206
No so- uh, fuck, I mean buddy, I am not here. Maybe you should check in the south, very far away from here.

>>52228225
Y-you sure?
I spent a lot of time getting here.
All my friends are dead.

>>52227939
Protip for all my hydra-bros out there, if some asshole dragon cauterizes the stump, just use another head to bite through the neck below the burn. Works like a fucking charm, you basically become your own cleric.

>>52225325

Thank you!

>>52227567
Bad tune but good cadence, I think. Y'know, for a human. This is the REAL music of our generation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuOOTI7FYK4

>>52227985
I get sronger with age, idiot. Go post in /orc/, you seem to belong there.

>>52224214
He is a hunter/ambusher, he can handle it. White dragon are weaker than most dragon but they are not as arrogant and strike swiftly within their snow burrow.

>>52228206
Awwww, look at it, it's so cute. Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Want a belly rub?

>>52228669
Sounds cute, who's this dragoness?

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Protip: If you take a really long nap and wake up to humans in these weird flying bird things, don't try to fight them. My wings are fucking ribbons right now. I'm honestly shocked I'm alive.

Does anybody know what they're going to do to me? They have me in some kind of metal chamber thing that I can't escape from and I'm too weak to fight them off. Nobody's talked to me in over a day. I'm... I think I'm actually fucking scared, as much as I hate to admit it.

Ok, serious question now.

Giantess princess - how do I even?

>>52228720
You might be getting *sronger* with age but you are definitely getting stupider. Seriously /orc/ are you kidding me that is definitely shit tier bait. You belong in /bbeg/

>>52222858
Light hoarder here. Light do not hold well. I have to make crystal to capture them in tall place to capture the most sunlight, but sometime at knight they would shot out and I would have to go catch them. Whenever I go out, creature of all shape and size would be praying and offering gift.

>>52226909
I will, but why are you consuming the light and not bathing in them?

>>52228836
Learn astral projection QUICK. Because otherwise you're about to find out how those kobolds you skinned for fun felt. With nothing to do about it.

>>52228767
Dunno her name. Check around south of the Screaming Marsh. You'll want to be careful to check your +7 Adamantine Condom before you go in. Bitch be egg crazy.

>>52228868
I've never done stuff like that! Seriously, I'm pretty nice compared to the rest of you fuckers.

Oh, Bahamut, please tell me you're kidding. I don't think I have time to learn a spell that complicated.

>>52228836
How are you posting here if you're locked up in a humie lab? You're not one of those faggots that swallows seeing stones, are you?

>>52228845
Vigorously.

>>52228915
I always keep a few on my person, but I mostly just jam them under a claw or between some teeth.

>>52226786
Do you believe your lord and savior Io, the true dragon? The one that die for your existance.

>>52228852
>everything I don't like is bait.

My mistake, you seem more /elf/.

>>52228915
He probably just uses magic. Do you seriously not know how to connect to the internet through magic? Newfag detected.

>>52228912
What kind of spells you DO know?
Also, tried breathing? Do surroundings melt?

>>52228875
But that's my fetish.

>>52228225
I always thought dragonborn were spawned to fight war for dragon that were to lustful to fight.

>>52228982
Disgusting. Take it to /succubus/ you degenerate.

>>52228255
Extremely sure. Run along now champ.

>>52228981
Surroundings don't melt. I tried breathing once, it reflected the damn beam back at me. Didn't hurt, thankfully, but scared me really bad.

I'm not very good at magic, if I'm being honest. I can cast some healing spells, create food or water from nothing, and I know several teleportation spells—none of which work. The walls around me don't seem to be magic but they're blocking all the good stuff I know.

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>>52228973
>using magic to connect to the internet
You medieval faggots really gotta stop killing your humans so they can invent cool tech for you.

>>52228982
My bad. Good taste in kinks, bro.

>>52229062
Hey that's not me bro.
>>52222858
This motherfucker is who you should be talking to.

>>52229051
If all else fails tell them that you're friendly, it might work.

>>52229051
>I can cast some healing spells, create food or water from nothing, and I know several teleportation spells—none of which work

What the FUCK? What have you been doing with your years if that's all you know? Healing, really? Tiamath have mercy on you.

Water from nothing, that's at least something. Can you at least teleport something else besides yourself?

>>52229051
How much water can you create?
Do you think you could fill the room?

>>52229008
Reproducing is not degenerate!

>>52229071
This bro knows what's up.

>>52229136
I don't know if that will, considering how they met me.

I woke up, decided I needed to stretch, and went for a flight. Next thing I know I see weird lights in the distance, so I go to check it out, but didn't even make it close before they sent those metal things after me. I tried to defend myself but they were way too fast.

Now I realize that it looks like I was attacking them, so they probably assume I'm hostile. They haven't even spoken to me yet—you think they will, or are they going to go straight to torture?

>>52229152
My healing abilities aren't really anything to sneeze at—I would certainly be dead now without their constant use. I didn't learn more offensive magic because I mostly kept to myself, and was generally able to use my size and breath to ward off any intruders. I wasn't ever into the study of magic, I preferred to look at history and nature.

I fucking regret that now, of course.

I can't teleport anything. Everything I try seems to just loop back around inside. I think the container is somehow redirecting the spells inwards. I'm honestly a little surprised my seeing stones work.

>>52229203
Well, yes, but that would just result in me drowning, would it not?

My dragon friends, I have an idea.

Cats. They're everywhere in human cities. They're taken care of by humans, worshipped by humans, and given a great life with no need to work.

What if we miniaturized ourselves? What if we became the cats?

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>>52229240
Do you want to end up like this?

>>52229268
A wyvern? No.

>>52229220
How long can you hold your breath?

Create water, apply pressure. The doors will give up sooner than you do, and if they don't - believe me, this is a preferable end.

>>52229220
I'm guessing the room isn't airtight so if you do it slowly the water will probably leak out and start flooding the building.

>>52229309
Nah, if humans thought of drainage doing it slowly won't work.

Creat water extensively so that it wouldn't drain in time. You may burst the system and THEN start flooding the dungeon, or even disrupt your bonds.

>>52229211
I doubt much torture will be involved ... unless they want to train an army of dragons but they didn't seem to have any domesticated ones. You should probably try to talk to them. However you should probably wait it out if you don't want to appear hostile.

>>52229396
black dragon here, i live on a plane thats similar sounding to this poor fool, and believe me they will skin your ass alive because dragon skin apparently is good for their advancement of technology.
i'm telling you when humans get too advanced they get sadistic as hell, and its neigh impossible to stop them because the bastards anti-magic literally every god damn thing.

Captured bro, you still here? Respond, we're worried.

>>52229309
>>52229281
>>52229572
I was trying the water thing, because >>52229448 scared the absolute shit out of me.

I got the container about halfway filled when the water started disappearing faster than I could create it. Then something banged on one of the walls and yelled "CUT IT OUT" loud enough for me to hear it. I think it was magically amplified, or something.

What the hell do I do now? If that Black is right I really don't want to be alive for that.

>>52228858
Same difference really. Just bathing on the inside.

>>52229639
They're draining it.
Create a layer of food to clog the drains then start pumping water again.

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>>52227136

Whatever you say groundling

>>52229718
I'll give that a try, I guess.

These spells require motion for me to cast. If they catch on to what I'm doing I'm fucked. I'm sure they have some way to restrain my claws. Let's hope they don't, I guess.

>>52229639
Hmm... ask them what they want from you.

>>52229639
You mentioned creating food earlier. Try filling the room with flour to jam up the drains.

>>52229738
Don't try to clog the drain they'll just kill you if you do.

>>52229738

Stellar Dragon here

Need some help?

What kind of fucking joker is telling my prisoner to try to kill himself?

We just had to shock the poor bastard with a few thousand volts so he'd stop trying to take an eternal swim. He's snoozing now, thankfully, but that shit could have killed him. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

Everything is under control. We're just trying to get the guy away from our population centers so we can explain what's going on in peace, without him trying to do some magic stuff.

>>52229448
>>52228868
Oh, Jesus. You actually told him that? Fucking Christ, is this why everybody we get is hostile?

We're not psychopaths, but waking up after being asleep for a few thousand years is pretty traumatic, and we don't want dragons to have a panic attack over our most populated cities. We're just moving him to a safe location.

>>52229739
You're the only person with a lick of sense in this place.

>>52229933
That won't be necessary, sir. We have this under control.

>>52229983
Nice try humie, but you're breakfast.

>>52229933, nuke these smartasses from orbit.

>>52229983

Good to hear

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>>52213842
Yeah we need our board, but no beta-three-or-less-heads allowed.

>>52230008

Only an idiot of the highest order lies to a Stellar Dragon

So am willing to listen for now

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>>52229983
You're going to scoop out his brain and turn him into some kind of giant robot. I've seen it before and frankly I don't want to deal with that shit again.

>>52230057
Reminder that we're dealing with humans who seriously think they are above us and can tell us what to do. So arrogance of that caliber is not unimaginable.

Okay, he's waking up. I'm going to talk to him and let him know what's going on. If anybody here could maybe give him some advice on integrating into a highly advanced society or something in the meantime, that would be great, but I'm going to tell him to take anything you say with a grain of salt.

The transition process is already really difficult. Please don't make it worse. Thank you.

>>52230086
That's the most retarded idea I've ever heard. You need to stop watching so much TV.

>>52230008
>>52230057
I'm not lying. Seriously, the last time somebody from our planet got into conflict with a Stellar the country he was dictator of disappeared. Not that we complained, really, but there's no way we'd lie to him.

>>52230163
I don't view myself as above anybody. I do view myself as somebody with legal authority to manage this situation, and to ensure an outcome that is as good as possible for both society and the Class-A magical creature.

>>52230163

True enough I suppose

I'll cast a spell and see what comes up

SPELL OF SPEAK THE TRUTH NO SAVE

>>52229983

What are your plans human

>>52230237
First off, jackass, that doesn't work over the internet. You need to have direct contact.

Secondly, I already said what we were going to do: Take him into the middle of the desert and calmly explain how society now functions, then let him choose between portal transport to a different material plane or enrollment in a six-month-long comprehensive transition program. It's not really that complicated.

>>52230270
>First off, jackass, that doesn't work over the internet. You need to have direct contact.

Human, you're dumb. Admitting that you're still capable of lying only incriminates you further.

>>52230270

you seem to be misinformed

Maybe a for a wizard the spell works like that

I am a Stellar Dragon

spells work how I say they work

In fact let's consult the book of Dragons

its titanic intellect lets it use any wizard's spell without error. It can also modify or create spells to suit its needs; for example, it could mergedarkness, 50' radiusandfireballto create ashadow flarespell. It can repeat spells as often as needed.

so yes it does work like that

>>52230361
Well apparently I was telling the truth, then. I haven't dealt with a Stellar before.

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>>52230270
Okay so you're in a desert, that narrows it down slightly.

Is he in one of these flying machines?

>>52230384

Am not surprised

We live on information and misinformation severe, painful indigestion so we prefer the Phlogiston or Wildspace

>>52230457

Causes Damn it

I know I should have made my own spell to connect to the Internet

Archmage my ass

Okay, I'm back.

The human explained some things to me. Fuck you to the people who said they were going to kill me, seriously. It's not like that at all, apparently.

The problem is that I apparently have a decision to make, which is to stay in whatever kind of crazy world my home is now, or go someplace completely different but superficially similar to what it was like when I went to sleep. I'm not sure how to decide on that. It seems like humans have a lot of power, which sucks, but they also said there were a lot of benefits to it.

Anybody have any advice for me on this?

>>52228836
>>52228912
>>52228940
>>52229051
>>52229211
>>52229639
>>52229738
>>52230523

>shit that didn't happen

>>52230523

I've heard good things about other dragons running corporations

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Hello fellow dragons, lets all announce where we hide our treasure

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Sup, bitches.

>>52230669

Nowhere

My species hoards and lives on knowledge

I've lived on gossip for the past 5 hundred years

Sport scandals, local rulers hidden heir, the lady of pain's favorite sex act and who's dating who

>>52230523
The completely different place will most likely be an induced coma to keep you docile while they scoop your brain out. Don't let them inject you with anything. Don't let them leave them all leave the room either because they might fill it with gas if there's no one else in there.

>>52230895
>Sport scandals, local rulers hidden heir, the lady of pain's favorite sex act and who's dating who

You'll never be micado if this is going to be your primary sustenance. Are pearls and gems you get from that even clear?

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>>52230457
This is an apple.

>>52214888
no gag reflex

>>52230929
I swear to fucking god.

Stop it. Please.

>>52231072
Meat, you shot him down unprovoked and electrocuted him. If that celestial celebrity gossip monger does not come down on your candy ass I will.

>>52230998

You mean mikado and that's only a maybe thousands of years in the future I don't care right now

And my gems are fine thank you very much

>>52231013

Please stop lying gives me painful indigestion

>>52231142
5 hundred years is not that small part of several thousands of years. And while you were listening on celebrity chronicles (I'd get thunder diarrhea from that one) other process actually wondrous knowledge.
Improve your standarts while it's not too late.

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>>52231142
I'm only mucking about mate

>>52229983
>Oh, Jesus
Not gonna fool me Paladin

>>52231274

Fine fine fine

I talk to a few space sages ok?

>>52231290

I get it

But you need to realize that is actually causes me pain

It's like if someone messed with your treasure

>>52230669
HYDRAFAGS GET OUT

REEEEEEEEEE

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>>52211653
That was once and she was polymorphed.

Guys how do I explain to them that I don't want to princess but the milf queen?

>>52232365
Explain to who?

>>52232585
The king of course

>>52232617
Don't kill king then become king then get queen. Easy.

>>52232365
Don't bother, show her how rich and powerful you are. If you're any kind of real dragon, you have more of both then her cuck of a husband. Ladies love riches, human or dragon. Trust me, I have a lot of experience in this.

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>>52230889
You're in the wrong dimension for all that, pal. Not a Word Wall in sight here.

By the way, those three you've got in your pocket, how're they? You know, the bookworm, the lapdog, and the zombie lapdog?

why do so many dragons possess the ability to speak and or use telepathy

Is it a smart idea to spawn a dragonborn army?

>>52233018
Because the ability to communicate is vital to intelligent or semi-intelligent in the worst cases creature's if we didn't have those abilities we wouldn't be dragons.

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Guys I need help

>Go to kidnap princess of new shitty kingdom
>They're fucking elves
>Don't realize this until I get home with the girl
>Now she doesn't want to leave

If I kill her then they'll swarm mages up my ass and if I let her stay she'll start inviting her friends over like cockroaches.

Elf Princess, wat do?

>>52234322

Can you ransom her?

Return her?

Drop her off somewhere and run?

>>52234428
These are fucking Elves man. If this one gets back to to the others they'll start trying to be diplomatic. Last time I bumped into one of their kingdoms I'm pretty sure a few of them started a cult after me.

Think the humans would keep her? They seem pretty stupid.

>>52234322
Cover her up in dragon life jelly. She would be too busy eating it.

>>52234322
Hire a dark knight to slay you then fake your death

>>52231072
To be fair, you shredded his wings, and almost killed him with your metal shit. If he didn't spend such a ridiculous amount of time training in healing magic, he could have died. You don't exactly sound all that trustworthy.

I've heard that some chromatic dragons have been getting themselves turned into hydras by the yuan-ti
retarded, ye or nay?

>>52231090
>>52235319
That was a couple of over-eager rookies. The jackass who started it is currently in custody and will definitely receive a dishonorable discharge and significant prison time.

You are right though, we fucked up real bad. This is the first dragon we've seen in almost a decade, and we screwed up. I've apologized to him already.

>>52234322
slay her, but make sure the death is plausible to blame on some other dragon you got issues with.

cover the whole thing up as trying to protect the princess by hiding her, maybe wound yourself up a bit to make it more convincing.

>>52235555
Retarded. Nice quints, too.

>>52229001
Sometimes they're spawned when a young dragon goes to Las Vegas for the first time and has too much to drink.

>>52234322
Trick some other dragon into taking her. Disguise her as a human. Maybe you could even get some value in exchange?

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>>52210589
WYVERNS ARE BETTER REEEEE

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Pretty much still a hatchling here, no bullying please. Can anyone tell me how I can find my human friend?

We used to hang out together all the time. He would always come to my forest and play with me. He was really frail so we couldn't really play rough but it was fun. I think he came from the village in the east. Anyway, last time I saw him was carrying some big chunk of metal and he told me he was going to play rough with other humans. I was kind of sad because he couldn't do that with me so I yelled at him. I'm really sorry about that.

I haven't seen him since. It's been so many seasons though. Is he still angry with me? I know it's not very dragonlike but I think I'm going to go first and apologize. I'm really tired of being alone.

Thing is, the village in the east has dissapeared. I haven't left the forest before so I'm not sure what to do. Is there like a place to find missing humans?

Old /knight/ here looking for good death in good old school dragon fight.
I want to go out in a blaze, you can have my magic items if you kill me.

I am experienced dragon slayer and don't fight kids, so only adult or older.
I have my own bard to compose a song about fight.
Serious offers only please, I don't have much time left.

Also it would be nice if you could capture a cute princess so she could cheer for me from side.

>>52238695
>implying that we allow staged fight here
Die on your worn bed without any glory old man

>>52238491
Wyverns don't have wings O.K fine they have very small ones and only have animal intelligence thus are strictly inferior to dragons.

>>52239757
But they are like a t-rex with small wings.

>>52239778
And dragons are like a T-rex with arms, wings and a brain.
Get out of here, wyvern, nobody likes you.

>>52238654
Half-dragon here. Having some personal experience with humans myself, I must say with a heavy heart that your friend is probably long dead. Humans have much shorter lifespans than dragons, and if the village is gone, chances are everyone who lived there died years ago. I'm sorry for your loss.

>>52238654
What shape was the chunk of metal? Was it flat, or long, or round or something? Did it look really heavy? If you can figure that out, maybe we can figure out where the village went, and where your friend went.

A moste fierey buump

>>52215020

Oldfag.

>>52216552
Princesses, well any heir really. I use Flesh to Stone to keep them in condition.
I don't know what drake started mating with them but I kills their value.
>>52224126
>I don't even have to take those princesses any more, I was actually OFFERED one in exchange for a loan as collateral!
Flesh to Stone her, they're only in prime condition in the second half of their second decade.
>>52224214
Oh boy, is he doing this for fun or does he think she's valuable? This is one of those times you can't rely on the pricing guide.
>>52226676
Just request tribute, if they don't get back to you go for it.
>>52234322
Do I really need to say it again?>>52235948
There's this fun human word called compensation, it's a good way to add to your horde after something like this.

>>52238654
Sorry, kid. You need to be at least 180 to post here.

>>52245442
Should be 1800, but noooo...

>>52226160
Wow, you almost make me ashamed to be a dragon.

>>52230211
>Humans are a Religion of Peace!
>blasts dragon out the sky, nearly killing him, shredding his wings

>>52229933
Get them, friend.

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>>52226184
Get a giant robot.
Chicks dig giant robots.

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Who /Dracolich/ here?
Not needed to sleep means I can enjoy my hoard 24/7, and my gauntlet of undead warriors make it that any who get through to me are strong enough to be killed and made into skeletal champions to test the next ones.

>>52230523
Don't trust them, if this is even you and not the humans pretending. Long story short, I tried to work with them, and it went south so I attacked their building's heart, which exploded, obliterating everything in a few mile radius, while I regenerated at my phylactery many miles away. I still fly by there from time to time, the land never really recovered.
>>52235948
Blaming it on the "rookies" I've heard that one before...
Wait, I might remember you. Do you remember me human? If you do, how did you escape?

>>52246397
No point warning him now. I'm pretty sure he's either dead or lobotomized already.

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So... nobody here watches my little donkey, right? I mean, who would be fan of that shit, r, right?

>>52247165
ur gey

>>52247877
ur right

ur geyer tho

So, /dragon/. 257 year old here with a love of thicc dragonesses. Anyone know of ladies near the Godcut Mountains?

>>52250362
Underage is not allowed.

>>52238654
They played too rough.

This is what you get for yelling at him. Now the whole town left too because of your rudeness. Humans are overly sensitive and take everything way too personally.

>>52250893
You're confused, m8, it's 180 to post.

>>52251096
Missing a 0 there, kiddo.

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Apprentice mage and neophyte scholar of draconic lore here, with something of a personal question.

Are dragons capable of suffering from depression, or are you above such chemical imbalances?

>>52251157
Pathetic Chromatic Dragons can. Not any real dragons, though.

>>52251154
0180
See >>52245684

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>>52251261

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>>52216643
>Bahamut - Platinum God of Dragons
>Tiamat - A rainbow hydra

Get over yourselves you inbred little pale scales, you may have the heftiest hoard in the land but we ARE our hoard. You don't even deserve to call yourselves Dragons if you can't look BADARSE while doing it. Sure you ain't a salamander?

>>52250893
>>52251096
>>52251154
>>52251261
Young Adult, suck it.

I hear tell that there's a rogue workshop building an army of dragon golems. Someone should stop them.

>>52253214
Draganon... Those aren't wargolems...

I mean really, does the name "RealDragon" sound like the name you'd give a weapon?

>>52253530
EVEN MORE REASON TO STOP THEM!

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ye olden dragonlance

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80s hair
yeah yeah !

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the scent...
of adventure !

>>52229001
They've been retconned from a slave race produced by chromatic dragons using stolen metallic dragon eggs (dragonlance draconians) into half dragons being the offspring between a dragon and mortal.

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ye olden forgotten realms

>>52253707
I wish there was a good poster of this

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OF DOOM !!!

Can dragon fire melt steel beams?

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>>52253945
That's racist.

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>>52253947
can dragon fire ignite jet fuel?

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>>52253962

>>52235555
Well that depends. In theory, if each head is a separate thinking being and y'all aren't just sharing a brain, it multiplies your mental abilities. Imagine being able to study from a whole pile of spell books at once; and maybe those other heads could come up with pillaging and conquering ideas you wouldn't have.

Though it could be a bad idea too. What if the other heads are jerks, or they want the entire hoard for themselves? Could get awkward quick.

>>52254255
They're hydras, so no.

>>52254288
What do you mean, no? We ain't talking about plain old hydras here, sharing one brain for all six heads or whatever. It's dragons turnin' themselves into hydras; and because we're so much better I'm sure we could swing a brain for each head. Or maybe a brain for every two heads, I dunno.

Having an other head might be kinda nice. Gets a little lonely out here sometimes.

>>52254417
They're still turning themselves into lesser beings. If you turned yourself into a kobold, you wouldn't be a better kobold than all the others. You'd just be a kobold, and therefore inferior.

If you're lonely then just find another lonely dragon and cuddle