>that smug munchkin that makes a trip/disarm/grapple build

>that smug munchkin that makes a trip/disarm/grapple build
Man, I always throw a bone to those guys, they need all the help you can give them.

As for the question
>What players do you hate?
Players who play Tier1 and Tier2 casters optimized as fuck but have a inferiority complex
>Huuuuur the barbarian deals 10% of what one of my summons deals 24/7 that's unfair duuurrrr
>Well, yeah, I end encounters in 1 turn, but I can only do that 8 times a day, meanwhile the monk can do everything at will
>I deserve more magic items because my HPs and AC is lower, doesn't matter I'm never in danger

>>51929312
Yeah, gotta hate those rare players who want to fight in melee and not just trade blows for raw damage until they win.

>>51929312
>What players do you hate?
Players who ignore the leanings and scale of the party, or who think the GM's commandments are "suggestions".
As for OP, your bait is scarce away from rotten, try harder. I mean, you could have gone with "Stat Me" and been better off.

>>51929312
>What players do you hate?

Left wingers.

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>>51930737
What do their wings have to with anything?
Personally, I think wings are part of the appeal.

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>>51930780

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>>51930814
You're like a baby, watch this.

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Anyone with a stealth focus, especially if they don't put any effort into actually RPing it and just expect it to work like an invisibility cloak.
>Encounter? Stealth until it goes away or the rest of the party kills it.
>PC's corpse? Stealth, loot it, deny involvement when anyone asks.
>Butterfly? Stealth because reasons.
The worst extreme is one of the PCs in my Pathfinder party is an NE Ninja/Master Spy/Evangelist (of what I can't remember) that can disguise himself as anyone, conceal his alignment, and bluff like the White Cliffs of Dover, and nobody can do anything about it. All he does poof out of sight, watch the carnage, and loot the bodies. And yes, I have tried not playing Pathfinder, but the group is too stubborn to learn or play anything else.

>>51929382
wew lad that's way too accurate, I've met that guy

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>>51931634
Hard times man, here have the cover of Heroes Unlimited to gaze longingly at.

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>>51929312
>players that make stat blocks instead of characters
>players that make a high Int build, but forget everything so the game devolves into sending them notes and then rolling Int once they forget those too
>players that treat every point of damage like they get sent in the negatives
>players that make stupid joke characters in serious campaigns
>players that make dead serious characters in joke campaigns
>Alfred
>players that ack metaplot questions and expect them to get answered
>players that ask spoiler questions and get angry when they aren't answered

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>Players who take restrictions and then get mad when they come up in game

>>51929312
A player in the Traveller group I'm in always abuses anagathics so his characters always roll out of chargen with a large spread of skills that are high enough to allow him to basically no-sweat a game.

It wouldn't be so bad if he actually had to make the debt payments and such that was actually required, but then again that's the GMs doing.

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>players makes a character
>on paper have a range of abilities that are effective in a wide range of situations
>only focus on one ability that is sub- par at best
>"I'm not effective here. Cater your adventures to me"

No, shut the fuck up. When I can grab your character sheet and play your character AS WRITTEN 20x better than you, the problem is not your character. Apply some inkling of intelligence or creativity to your laundry list of abilities and you'll figure out that if you at least try you can do all sorts of shit.

Goddamn this fucker makes me so mad.

>>51929312

>busybodies
Players who feel like their job is serving as the party's own Internal Affairs Office. In my experience the biggest That Guys aren't the Chaotic Random douchebags but the power-tripping Paladins.

>bunker players
Players who don't actually give a shit about the game or the other characters and spend every session fucking off on their own to build up some kind of business empire. These people are always unbearably paranoid and focus solely on building up wealth so they can build some kind of impenetrable bunker or other glorified life insurance policy.

>>51931880
Fucking hell


>>51931897
>bunker players
Wew I've met that guy too.

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>>51931880
Holy shit this
If you make a Daniel Jackson translator in a Stargate game, don't fucking while when ANYTHING ELSE ALSO HAPPENS

FFS you are not the star of the game for starting a lexicon of foreign languages.

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>That player who decides they are going to "fix" something in the campaign, usually by killing another character or destroying something important, then instead of admitting that they just wanted to fuck with the game they indignantly defend their actions any time it comes up.

>it's
>what
>my
>character
>would
>do

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>>51929382
>>51931668
You aren't the only ones either lads, a player in my group pretty much refuses to play a non-arcane caster.

Also, from my experiences:
>Players with "chaotic neutral" as their rogue's only character description. Cunt routinely steals half of all loot he finds before distributing it.
>Players who act as the leader and makes plans that never reflect the party composition, in this case plans requiring an entire stealth party when he's the only stealth build, then blames us for the plan's inevitable failure.
>Players who constantly ask unimportant questions during other player's turns, then says they're confused and don't know what's going on when they're finally up.

>>51929312
I hate players.

People who can't stand a few seconds without browsing some shit site like funnyjunk or facebook.
Man, just because it's not your fucking turn, don't stop paying attention completely.

I really don't want to ban cellphones because I don't mind people taking calls at the table, but don't fucking use it to browse the internet steve you fucking faggot

>>51931930
How do you even play that? Everytime you encounter alien, everyone has to wait for you to translate every little word?

>>51929312
>They want to play superheroes.
>All talk about superpowers.
>Roll random powers on that one wiki for laughs.
>They all make a powerless sub-par Batman.
why

I'd say unenthusiastic people who put minimal effort into the game but expect to be entertained anyway. They're gonna hop on Facebook until the DM institutes a no cellphone policy, they wont even skim through the rulebook beforehand and expect all the rules to be taught to them in play, they wont bother coming up with a backstory or reading up on the setting the game will take place in.

I'm not talking about dense stuff either, just simple requests like "before we start, skim through the PDF to get an idea of the tone/setting and have some goals for your character."

They expect to show up, put minimal effort into a team based game, and get rewarded. Some of them just don't know they're doing it, and they'll come around once they know it's a problem. Other people are lazy shits though, and there's no point in keeping them around.

>>51934215
Agreed. Cut them the fuck loose.

>>51931711
>>players that make dead serious characters in joke campaigns
This isn't bad unless they go full no fun allowed. Having a straight man can really enhance the comedy because of the contrast between them and the goofballs.

>>51929312
Murderhobo characters that never negotiate because "Muh alignment"

>Uhh yeah my character is a war veteran mercenary without friends or family or anything connecting him to anyone.

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>>51935294
Maybe he's been burned too many times by GMs that insist family members be butchered/raped/used as living batteries for the Evil Guy's toaster oven of souls?

>>51935294
One of my players actually did that pretty well, I think. His family was slaughtered and his smithy ransacked by a band of gnoll marauders, so with nothing better to do with himself he took up the mercenary's life.

I plan on dropping hints in-character so that his character realizes that resurrection is possible, and the party will hopefully bite to go on a "loyalty mission" kind of thing to revive his beloved wife.

>>51935382
It's only bad if it was arbitrarily forced. If a character failed to protect them and bad things happen, it's fine.

If you're an adventuring type and you start uncovering a great conspiracy that sacrifices people to a demon lord and intend to have a go at overthrowing the king and you're married/ have relatives, you should be making sure they're safe by covertly moving them to a secluded village or monastery. If you don't, you get what you asked for.

Hi

>>51929312
>Players that make fight-optimized characters just to force other players to do what they want instead of regular arguing.
>Players who can't play around their fails, specially failed dice rolls, and keep bitching about it for days.
>Players who can't separate characters from themselves.
>That one particular person who build every character as basic rogue class if possible, and than nags about his character is useless in any situation. Dodge, ranged attack and stealth is everything that any person needs.

>>51936036
>Players that make fight-optimized characters just to force other players to do what they want instead of regular arguing.
Don't forget the opposite though
>Players who make high charisma characters and then try to roll diplomacy against the party

A good DM will shut down both of these things, though.

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>>51936036
>Players who can't play around their fails, specially failed dice rolls, and keep bitching about it for days.

fuckin' hate that shit

>>51936036
>basic rogue class if possible, and than nags about his character is useless in any situation. Dodge, ranged attack and stealth is everything that any person needs.

To be fair, you could say that about any specialized build. At games I've played in, I've seen at least the following.

>Ranger focused on hunting beasts in a setting known for jungles. 70% of enemies are humanoid, 20% are outsiders, and only a smattering of the last 10% are actual jungle creatures.
>Rogue built for scouting. Not built for combat, sneak attack, or anything really fighty. Enemies don't have patrols or configurations for him to scout out and warn the party about (Basically they just stand in inexplicably-impassable rooms in the arrangement of the next encounter), the only loot is physically on the enemy's personage, and any extra info gained from scouting ahead is either useless or misdirection.
>Fighter built to fight spending six sessions doing literally nothing because we're at court trying to do the political dance to win the duke's favor. His character has no want to be there (but can't leave), his stats are too shit for him to help on the big checks, and the npcs he could try to rp with want nothing to do with him.
>Paladin in a game with 0 undead
>Bard. Party face type. 3 sessions in we were sent into a dungeon full of monsters and spent 7 or 8 sessions there.

Sometimes people have all the information and build shit characters. Sometimes they have no information and make a character that doesn't fit the game. And sometimes the dm is just shit at making a game that incorporates all of the character's strengths.

You shouldn't have to make your character be able to do everything in an rpg. That defeats the purpose of working as a group.

>>51929312
>>51929382
>>51931634
>>51931711
>>51932763
>>51936036
>playing 3.PF
There's your problem.

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>>51935521

>>51935521
And this is why so many players remove family from their character's backstories.

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>>51931897
>Play high charisma character
>GM starts pushing me to resolve all party disputes, flat out telling me it would be in character for me to do this
>Even encourages me to roll against the party
>Aside from me the party members are an edgelord, two ends justify the means sociopaths, one extreme moralfag and one normal person so disputes happen every thirty seconds

>>51929312
>What players do you hate?
Players who clearly are not interested in playing with a party, and are just looking for their OC to get jerked off.

>>51931711
>>players that make stupid joke characters in serious campaigns
>>players that make dead serious characters in joke campaigns
Many of the most memorable characters across campaigns are either the idiot who scrapes through by a combination of dumb luck, and a skilled player, or the character who keeps a straight face when the chicken-infested commoner/Druid channeling the elemental plane of chickens sets fire to the horde.

>>51936828
>making general assumptions on zero evidence
and there is yours

>>51929312
>Player makes retarded murderhobo
>Gets warned that this campaign will have heavy social elements
>Player insists on murderhobo.
>Player exudes butthurt when murderhobo is unable to properly socialize, and gets left behind while the other players go talk to someone, because murderhobo keeps fucking up.

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>>51929312
>that smug munchkin that makes a trip/disarm/grapple/rape build.

People who use stupid weapons and or duel wield.

>>51933957
That's what he expected if the party, yeah. He's a twat.

Just can't handle others having the spotlight at any given moment

May be late to the party OP, but throw giant spiders/centipedes at your trip munchkin. There's rarely a dungeon where you won't have an excuse to mix these beasties in!

>>51936036
>Players who can't play around their fails, specially failed dice rolls, and keep bitching about it for days.

So much this. Have a couple of power gamers who despise the true-random dice rolls of an online system. "I don't get 18-20 as much as I do with physical dice!" Gets me thinking if we can have a game in person again to bring at least one dice tower.

>>51937499
People who think that stupid weapons or dual wielding weren't used.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE STOP USING THINGS THAT MY POORLY CONCEIVED NOTIONS OF PSEUDOHISTORY LEAD ME TO THINK WEREN'T USED REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>51933996
Session 2 the entire party gets bitten by radioactive *insert creatures here*

Problem solved, the adventures of wolfkin, trouser snake guy, the red cockatoo and the indestructible cockroach!

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>DM surprised we killed off an NPC who ceased to be of use to us once we got to a remote location in an evil campaign

>Player's character has a three sentence backstory.
>Character never engages in the story or interacts with NPCs.
>Getting them to roleplay I'd like pulling teeth.
>Player constantly complains that none of the story arcs involve their character.
>I've given up trying to get them to do more than show up and pay attention long ago.

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>>51937512
I do hate this so very much.
> Anyone that gets upset over other characters having some spotlight and/or players that try to force themselves into the spotlight constantly.
Also
> Players who can't separate character/player knowledge
Yes I did murder the spooky as fuck mostly buried, starving, rabid dog. Yes I was almost certain that do that was going to unleash a fucknasty murderdog spirit. My character on the other hand, is a local law enforcer from a tiny town who just saw said spooky dog bite the naive young visitor from one of the country's major powers that's currently in my care. Of course I kill the fucking thing.
Hmm. I still seem to be salty about that one...
> Players that can't get into character/don't have a character to get into, especially when they expect to be spoon fed answers to personal questions.
'You need to make a derision.'
'I don't know what to do.'
'Well what seems like the choice your character would make with the information they have?'
'I don't know, what's the best option?'
Makes me want to projectile vomit blood with the force of a fire hydrant.

All that said I'll forgive this stuff to some degree in new players and try to help them work through it. But in those that know better...

>>51929446
what am I missing with the bait. I've seen this pic once before (un-edited) , what is it supposed to be and why is it bad?

>>51937188
see
>>51937982
>>51937410

You just want to play a videogame.

>>51938210
More of "Don't want to play a family murderfest" for the seventh fucking time.

How about, hey, not using families or friends as plot sacrifices 90% of the time?

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>>51929312
>that player who, in a story and dialogue heavy game where PC decisions have lasting consequences, decides to play some experimental build specifically designed to break the game's balance and puts zero effort into actual personality development
>that player who thinks he's being sooooo clever by willfully misinterpreting a rule to try and turn an otherwise innocuous combination of abilities into a gamebreaker
>that player who earnestly believes caster supremacy is normal and the way things should be
>that player whose characters always have his exact views and beliefs on politics and religion and sexuality and never ever deviate even a little
>that player who treats every point of damage or wound their character takes as a personal insult from the GM
>that player who thinks taking some damage means the fight is unwinnable or way above their power level

>players who fall asleep at the table
Had one. Did it every session. Don't have one anymore.

What drives a man to set their adult schedule to a six-hour block of time once per week, and then spend it sleeping?

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players who are in just because his friends are:
>I DON'T WANNA FEEL LEFT OUT
>I'm bored
>did a really uninspired character he doesn't bother to roleplaya s much as others
>ignores the PC who is his PC mercenary partner/friend
That guy whined when two PCs stopped him from punching another party member
>WOW MY CHAR HAS SOMETHING TO DO AND YOU GUYS STOP ME FUCK YOU
Also the fact these fucks are sooooooooo into pokemon is enraging, I love pokemon just as much but i'm burned out of playing PMD-style campaigns, I wanna have high fantasy, urban or cyberpunk adventures WITHOUT POKEMON

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>>51931711
>joke characters in serious campaign

I don't think I've never NOT had this happen. Is it really too much to ask that you don't roll up a "lolz let's go drink at the tavern" character when your in the middle of the FUCKING APOCALYPSE?!

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>>51929312
I'm not sure about players, but DMs who are willing to turn back time or retcon shit to undo major consequences are spineless scumbags and they immediately take any threat or danger out of the game world by doing so.

If you do this or have done this, fuck you.

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>that player who remakes the same character over and over again across dozens of different campaigns and settings
>that male player who does that, but the pet character is always a girl who has sexy misadventures
>he gets legitimately upset when you tell them to come up with something else for once because everyone is fucking tired of seeing that character in every goddamn game

Christ. I shouldn't be surprised that his hobby attracts this particular stripe of autist, but it still frustrates me that I have to deal with these people.

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>that player who, after twelve sessions and fourteen battles, still doesn't understand how combat works
If ever there was proof that you don't need to be smart to enjoy nerdy hobbies, this is it.

>>51938267
I've never once pulled the Dead Family card as a GM. Two of my players are terrified of writing any family into their characters back story, despite the closest I've come to endangering them was in a Shadowrun game.

>One character gets ID'ed on a botched mission.
>Team realizes that characters family now in danger.
>Characters family has no idea what he does for a living. They think he is a salesman, when in fact he is the team's infiltrator.
>Cue a stressful family dinner with the character trying to distract his folks and older sister from noticing the gun fight with a hit team outside then making sure they made it to their flight on time to a month long, all expense paid trip to a resort town in Cuba.

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>Players who use TVTropes and speak in tropes constantly, even ICly, capitalizing them every time like we're supposed to fucking know what they mean instantly
>Players who are any kind of hybrid race
>Players who constantly bring up rules when it benefits them
>Players who pick a moralfag in a generally grey party and end up dead weight
>Players who play as the opposite gender and can't pull it off at all women are the worst with this
>Players who use the same 2 character names over and over again and only play one type of character

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>>51938997
>Players who use TVTropes
Jesus CHRIST

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>>51938823
In some campaigns?

Yes.

>>51939136
....you sly son of a bitch

>>51939136
Well played.

>>51938997
Say what you will, it's decent enough to learn the stereotypes and shit to build a good character.

But then there are people who act like it's a godsend and needed to define all actions in a story, instead of guidelines on how they work.

>The guy who plays Black Crusade and acts like a normal human.

>>51939197
Hell, the website even says it, tropes are tools and building blocks, a starting point to be aware of common storytelling facets. Tvtropes is a website dedicated to cataloguing those tools and building blocks, run by Tumblrite cuntbitches. The second you elevate Tvtropes above that is when you become a massive fucking dipshit.

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>>51929312
>makes a broody/reserved/quiet character
>responds as such to literally all interaction
>other characters run out of things to say/proddings
>player gets shitty they're not being interacted with

>makes a sarcastic/unfunny/bitchy character
>everything gets an eye roll or rude comment
>other characters run out of patience
>player gets shitty that they're being ignored/left behind

>makes a chaotic stupid character
>plays out fucking predictably
>player gets shitty like consequences are an affront to them

>doesn't respond to offers of help

>>51939197
Quoting them out of context still makes you sound like A Massive Fucking Tool.

>>51929312
the ones that throw dice.

Mass Effect Andromeda will be so terrible

>>51939868
some BODY

>>51938967
OK I'd kill for that situation to come up with my group. Nope. We're going to hang out is all 4 corners of the base and be edgy

>>51940289
rip

>>51931634
True Seeing son. High level Outsiders usually have that as a constant effect or at least at will.

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>>51931634
>but the group is too stubborn to learn or play anything else.
This. This is the type of player I hate the most.

>That Guy has to be the strongest in the party
>And the fastest
>And the smartest
>And the stealthiest
>And the charismatiest
>But not religion, because they're too smart for that
>And not magic, because that's unrealistic and dishonorable
>Can't be healing either, because that's a job for the naive and foolish
>Also don't talk to me, unless its about payment or killing
>Their plans are the best plans
>even if it means jumping knowingly into combat while the rest of the party is asleep
>and if things go bad they're fleeing

To be fair, they're getting better than they were.A lot better.
But some days it's two steps forward, one step back.

>>51941630
You don't get very far like that~

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>players that ditch the session at the first sign of a party or social gathering somewhere else
>asks why you never invite him anymore

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>New DM is a pushover at chargen
>lets two players be sisters
>Also weretiger assassins
>With crazy unchecked bonuses
>Trivializes all encounters
>One time, we get jumped by a large ogre at camp
>One leaps at the ogre unarmored
>Gets her absolute shit kicked in with one swing
>I CAN SEE THE DICE SAYING SO
>She should be dead
>DM lets her live
>Couldve solved a huge problem since the beginning
>Also created a player drama with her sister living through it
>"I dont let dice to decide whether players die. Just bad decisions."
>LEAPT AT AN OGRE UNARMORED
>FOR FUCKS SAKE

God I was so pissed. I still am. Fucking god damn.

>>51937328
>zero evidence
Every single one of the posts they quoted had obvious references to D&D, why are you fanboys so retarded?

>>51939136
God that movie was shit, what in the fuck happened to Simon Pegg?

>>51932886
>>51934215
These things together really get to me, especially when they get the nerve to be pissed at you for not explaining. Fuck man, you had a week or two to get your shit together between sessions. Hell you could have done it in the session with all the time you're on the fucking phone.

Eventually, you stop gming only to come back months later with a new party and same problems like a batter wife.

>>51929312
Players who think they are in WoW. Fucking cancer.

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>>51942180
>why don't we have a healer?
>we NEED a healer
>someone play cleric
>please
>we NEED a cleric
>why is nobody playing a cleric
>okay now we need a tank

THIS AIN'T A VIDEO GAME, NIGGA

DO YOU SEE A THREAT METER? A FUCKING ENMITY BAR? A HATE METER?

MY HATE METER FOR YOU IS GETTING PRETTY FUCKING FULL

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>>51942266
Figure, you could've used this image instead

>>51942266
Yeah, fuck this fucking trash

>>51942330
Thanks, I'll use that next time I get an opportunity to make that joke

>>51942330
Damn, that's a good one. Borrowing that, friendo

>>51942376
No problem mate, not mine though. It's an older image that was appropriate for the situation. I too understand the fatal mindset player's have. My answer to this is buying your restoratives at a holy place or an alchemist. Not every party needs a cleric, they are a commodity.

>>51929382
Thank you, teir one and two and can be cool and fun if you limited save or dies, and cheese. Honestly a mix of disables and damages spells can work and not break things if balanced right.

>>51929312
God forbid someone make something out of the ordinary, and do it well.

>>51939136
He grew beyond your mediocre tastes.

>>51942266
God forbid you form a functioning, traditional adventuring party.

>>51943545
What does this post mean? It's ambiguous to the point of nonsense.

>>51943574
There there little mmo fan, it'll be okay

>>51938823
What about a character who is 'purposefully accidentally a bit of a joke'

For example, I had an aasimar oracle in pathfinder with the heavens mystery. He was all about light, and I mean literal light. He was a brightmage. I went full praise the sun mode, golden metallic skin and wings, color spray, the works. He was also somewhat obsessed with reckless heroics and could get carried away. Some examples:

Jump from the second floor to the ground floor of a burning building, instead of going back to the stairs, cause he needed to be down there RIGHT NOW

Ruins the party's plan to sneak up on the dhampirs by activating daylight and charging them and creating a laser light show, blinding them all in the process

My eventual goal was, if I ever got him to level 20, was to have him have sufficient flight distance that he would be able to divebomb meteorstrike something from space. Of course this would kill him but lvl 20 heavens oracles have the star child power, so I'd be reborn in a week.

The whole thing was ridiculous and everyone else made normal run of the mill characters and a lot of the encounters ended up being them having to pull me out of ridiculous situations which I always somehow managed to survive.

>>51940180
I AINT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED

>>51943574
You don't need a cleric to be a functioning adventuring party, in most systems I can think of with them. Someone who knows first aid might be important if you don't have one, though.

>>51942266
That predates video games. D&D pre-3E is brutal and a party without a Cleric WILL die, and a party without a Fighter or something that can take the role of a Fighter will have a really hard time, even if they're not as essential as a Cleric. As usual, it was 3E fucking up class roles that did this one in.

>>51929312
The ones that never want to cooperate.

>>51935294
>he's also level 1

>>51945130
class levels=/=life experience

you can have a career soldier who has fought in 5 different wars without a single fighter level

PCs are spose to be extraordinary individuals with unique abilities.

>>51941869

>best of the cornetto trilogy
>shit

ill fite u m8

>>51945183
>class levels=/=life experience
You get class levels by earning experience. You are wrong.

>>51929312
And what are you expecting? Focusing on manoeuvres is bad all of a sudden? If the player made an intimidate focused build, you would hate him as well? What about that rogue maximizing sneak attacks? Not a problem? Then why the fuck would a fighter/brawler/monk/whatever focusing on things that are easily countered and are like one of three options he have be a problem?

>>51937275
For players, sure. From my point of view as a DM, I'm trying to run a game and have a coherent setting here and you're not helping.

Im very picky when it comes to players. I cant stand super autistic fat nerds who are far to invested in the hobby. The best players i get are normies.

>>51937410
I also hate
>Get told it will be a social heavy campaign
>Make social guy
>DUNGEONS ALL THE DUNGEONS!
Occasinonally rolling some social stuff to try to not get instantly killed by something retard powerful or to get a fucking mmo style quest off of it for the next dungeon is not a social campaign

>>51945305
>social heavy campaign
>dnd has no social rules
I don't know what you were expecting.

>>51945348
Eeeh it got diplomacy rolls, honey!

>>51945367
"Roll dice and figure it out yourself" doesn't count as rules.

>>51931634
It should be fairly easy to bust him if he tries to loot something after the encounter is open / if he is not seen helping during the encounter.

>>51945305
>Make social guy
Why didn't you make a social guy who's capable of fighting? That's your own fault for making a one dimensional character.

Similarly, if you build a combat monster, it's dumb not to have at least SOMETHING you can do in a social situation.

>>51945461
There are no rules for anything but fighting in dnd.

>>51945305
Had a game yesterday that was:
>Stealth and Social Mission
>Sneak into a vault that is inside of the capital building of a Great Golden Dragon surrounded by a permanent field of Antimagic to prevent shenanigans and perform a heist without getting seen or caught, and make it out with an artefact
>Players decide to hold the heist during the capital's largest festival in which a grand ball is being held at the capital building
>Players form a party of appropriate characters for stealth and social situations, spend hours each day before the game planning out what to do
>After the thief spends two hours infiltrating and then leading two party members towards the artefact in the magically warded super-vault undetected, a super boss with his army of invisible minions somehow teleport in and initiate combat with no warning
>The superboss's first act is shooting a gigantic lightning bolt towards the yet unseen players because he "felt something is wrong" which makes enough noise to alert the guards anyway
>3v20+ with an army on the way

Even if it doesn't make sense, always expect combat.

>>51945302
This
Most normies just want some good roleplaying and storytelling, whereas the autists are trying to compensate for some irl shortcomings they can't get over.

>>51945470
So what are skill points and charisma for?
dumping, right?

>>51945526
Their mechanical definition is very vague. Something that almost wholly relies on GM fiat isn't a viable investment of charasser resources.

>>51929312

> Player creates a basic AC heavy tank
> Whines whenever he has to tank

> Player creates a melee oriented runner
> Whines when he gets into a fight

> Player creates a healer
> Refuses to use magic healing (does use healing kits but cmon)

This is the same guy. I fully expect him by the end of the year to go full retard and make a mage that doesn't cast spells

>>51945557
A mage that doesn't cast spells is viable in DnD/Pathfinder games at least. Just go Sorcerer and then go into Dragon Disciple.

>>51945537
>Something that almost wholly relies on GM fiat isn't a viable investment of charasser resources
Just because D&D has shit rules for non-combat doesn't mean it has no rules for non-combat.

Besides, that's why you have a character that can roll a 25 on a nat 1 diplomacy check and can also do 23d6 damage every two rounds at level 3.

>>51936806
But can't most of these situations be resolved with a little creativity? The beast-hunting ranger could adapt his methods and traps to snare humans. The fighter could be employed either as an assassin to murder stubborn rivals, a second in duels of honor, or even a champion in trials-by-combat (think Gregor Clegane). Paladins are still useful even with no undead to fight (would you call an army chaplain useless?). The Bard could try to bargain with some of the more 'rational' monsters, if any.

I firmly believe that even if a character is in a setting/campaign that technically doesn't favour them, good RP can still trump this and arguably produce even more interesting games than perfectly fitted adventures.

>>51929312
> What players do you hate?

> Players that don't know their character
> Players that can't make their own character
> Players who ask questions about their own abilities but refuse to look up answers
> Player acts smug about his character that he didn't even build himself

^this is a dude whose been playing as long as I have and refuses to learn his hobby

>>51938715
reminds me of a review-thing I saw once, presenting the events of The Phantom Menace as a sci-fantasy roleplay. Jar Jar Binks was the GM's annoying little sister insisting on making a barely-functional character to play along.

>>51945537
>Something that almost wholly relies on GM fiat isn't a viable investment
This right here is everything wrong with current players.
They believe that the rules exist to govern the GM, rather than the GM BEING the rules and deciding wisely and appropriately when to work with the players on the same level or eclipse them.

>>51945710
Nobody cares what grognards think.

>>51945614
Okay you stumped me. What kind of builds offer that at level 3?also that kind of damage? Or just the damage. I have no clue how to even remotely approach those numbers at that level. I roll to disbelieve

I used to play with a guy that would roll 3d6 and then literally have to count on his figures. I mean, dice rolling in TRPGs ultimately is an exercise in mental math as we roll x amount of dice and add y amount of modifiers, and this guy cannot add 3 numbers in his head. He is 29 soon to be 30. He claims to have a learning disability which is partly why he's on the welfare dole but his learning disability is what I call Learned Helplessness - why learn how to do anything if you act pathetic and someone will do it for you? I have seen him more than once roll a dice, look at it for a second, then ask 'what is my total?' Nigga, do math it won't kill you

>>51945710
Something he is very wrong with current DMs that invalidate characters entirely or fails to make a character remotely usable no matter how much they try to use social rolls because "muh rules doesn't says you cun do this" also DMs that regard diplomacy as "cheating" because it wins encounters without telling the party beforehand.

>>51945807
And when does this happen, anon?
In your made up, anything is possible including the absolute worst world where you are always right on the internet?
If a GM does that, they are a poor GM. That doesn't say anything about the game, or other GMs.

>>51945778
Stalker (Vigilante) with broken blade discipline. It's a pathfinder 3rd party thing that's basically tome of battle for pathfinder. Also has lots of skillpoints for diplomacy, and some traits to get int to diplomacy instead of charisma.

>Players who make the campaign all about themselves
>Edgy fucks
>>Edgy fucks who bitch and moan when you call them out on being an edgy fuck
>People who ignore the world's lore in their backstory / development
>Kender
>Fapbait characters

>>51945188
What are you smoking, Hot Fuzz was clearly the best.

>>51945656
Darths & Droids. It's a webcomic, so far has run through episodes 1-5, decent way through 6. Is pretty good.

>>51945188
>best
>of anything
It was absolute complete and utter shit, probably one of the worst movies I've ever seen and I fucking loved Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, what in the hell are you talking about are you on drugs? I will fight you.

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>>51931711
>players that make stat blocks instead of characters
In a similar vein, a guy in our group makes all these action-y characters that have no flaws. If the system makes/rewards you for taking flaws, he never really plays the ones he takes. We're about to get back into Shadowrun with a bunch of houserules, one of said houserules removes the instant karma gain from Negative Qualities. So without that instant gratification from taking them, he's just not taken any.

I'd be less mad if the stat-block/stereotype characters he made were actually any good in their stats and stuff, but generally they're pretty mediocre. When I ran a Star Wars campaign he wanted to basically be a Jedi in what was essentially an EotE game, and whilst I was twisting story elements around to give him shit like a crystal etc. he was just endlessly complaining about not being as effective as the pure beatstick character.

>>51935207
>play a campaign that was explicitly mentioned to be a comedy joke campaign as a breather during our more serious one
>all 4 of us end up making "the straight man."
>we end up just going around going "No Fun Allowed" to everyone
>respond to the silliness by beating up it, sometimes with heavy gunfire, and forcing it stop being so silly

Ironically one of the silliest games I was a part of.

>>51938210
>You just want to play a videogame
>using videogame as an insult
You're fucking retarded for one thing.

Secondly, You can still have motivations, goals, and personality without a family. It honestly MAKES FUCKING SENSE for most adventures to be relatively connection-less vagrants. Happy people with loving families back home seldom travel across the world to fight and die in some stinking pit filled with Drow and spiders.

>>51929312
>player who makes literally nothing but dickass rogue type characters and immediately tries to steal/pickpocket everything and just generally shits up everything for everyone when in a town

Does my nut in, I swear. More than once I'm pretty sure the rest of the part was just about ready to murder his character and dump the body, but that would ave triggered a full-blown REEEEEEEEE response.

>>51946470
That reminds me
>Players that gloat about their overpowered/minmaxed character, but he's so bad at it the character is *at best* suboptimal.

I just don't get it.

>>51945783
I have someone like this in my current game. She always insists on playing a rogue, so she ends up getting sneak attack damage and adding more dice that she has to use more fingers to count.

And even though she always plays a rogue, and we always play PF, she can never find things on her character sheet.

>>51942266
>I've never played old school games

>>51929400
It slows some games down rather badly.

>>51938210
Personally I'm just tired of either having to make a murderhobo, or the DM making my character a murderhobo in session 1.

Hell, anytime anyone makes someone who isn't a murderhobo, literally the entire first session is basically about everyone in their backstory who isn't an ENEMY FOR LIFE get horribly murdered to death while we're not allowed to do anything to stop it. Even enemy for life isn't safe sometimes, as I made a character once who's entire backstory and motivation was about finding someone who already killed his family and killing THEM. I guess the DM took offense at not being able to do it himself, since session 1 started off with "Yeah, you kill them and go to this cave where everyone else is."

As in, our characters are there to witness it and sit there and watch it, but the DM doesn't let us do anything to stop the orc warlord from pulling someone's face off. DM ignores our dice rolls, any attempt at an action is met with "No you don't do that" until everyone's dead and the orc warlords just walk away. Again, with nothing we can do to stop them.

And of course bitches and moans that everyone makes murderhobo PCs next game.

>player rolls a bard
>complains they aren't good at anything
It's called a jack of all trades for a reason

>>51945305
To be fair, my experience has taught me that when a DM says "social campaign" in D&D, 90% of the time it means "You'll talk to some guy for 5 minutes in the first session who you can't influence in any way, then you get locked in a dungeon killing monsters for the next 8 sessions."

>>51945632
Wait what? Who made his character for him and why? And how does he act smug about it?

>>51947189
Never understood this
I only played a bard once but:
>At level 6 he was able to give everybody +8 to attack and damage thanks to inspire courage optimization (song of the heart, words of creation, inspirational boost, etc)
>He could also snowflake dance and get +Cha (+7) to attack and damage
>For a motherfucking total of +13 to attack and damage
>Back to back with the Barb stabbing mofos

And this without even tanking into account spells

>>51938542
this, had least have some excuse

>>51929312
>>that smug munchkin that makes a trip/disarm/grapple build
Honestly, the Brawler in our PF game has the fastest turns. The Sorcerer and Wizard take the longest.

>>51947251
The ones who look up builds on optimization boards.

>>51947179
It really sounds like you should run your own game if you hate your DM's murderhobo railroading that much.

>>51941630
Any interesting stories?

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>>51946013
>>People who ignore the world's lore in their backstory / development

Christ, I hate this type.
>tell players we're playing in a homebrew setting
>available races are this, that, and the other thing, with at least three subraces for each
>"I want to play an elf"
>"There are no elves in this setting"
>[autistic screeching]

>>51947286
I know some anon got really triggered last time I said this, but he's a pretty decent DM once you get past the "GOTTA KILL THE BACKSTORY NPCS" session. He just has a raging hateboner for PCs with family for one reason or another.

We just make build murderhobo PCs to just skip that part. 2 minutes of him whining about us being orphans of some sort is acceptable enough.

>>51938967
is it ok tu use the family to create a dillema? (like, either stop the bad guy or save your family?)

>>51938997
>Players who play as the opposite gender and can't pull it off at all
What? There can be so little difference between the two genders really, how do people fail at this?

>>51947308
This is why all of my PCs are from adventurer eggs.

>>51947329
They fail at this by not knowing this, and by having no idea how the opposite gender acts. It's like the fat sweaty neckbeard trying to play a hot chick and constantly going "teehee" and talking about going shopping.

>>51947303
Not player but GM
>Avaliable races are these
>Ok, pick this among them
>Suddenly world is thriving with different races and there's a fucking DMPC of a race I wanted to play but GM said "in my setting those don't exist"
Left right there

>>51947336
Coz girls who go teehee and shopping don't exist, right? You can complain that he overuses that trope, but saying that trope doesn't exist is bullshit

>>51947342
Can't blame you there. That's just the DM being a shit.

>>51947342
You're still in the wrong in there, DM is king and god in a game.

>>51947354
No, you mong, he is saying it is basic as fuck low hanging fruit.
It's so blase and stereotypical it doesn't make for a good character, no more than Rawr McHugestrong makes a good barbarian, despite it being a thing.

>>51947329
>>51947336
what ^ he said. They overact. instead of just acting like a normal person, they act like a GURLYGURL would.
>I go over and rest his head on my lap
>you just cant handle a woman whos strong AND pretty
>teehee
>I use my feminine charm to get us past the guard. What do you mean I have to roll persuasion?
yes my player tried that last one. I guess he was so far gone into neckbeardism that he thought offers of sex were insta succeeds

>>51947179
What the fuck
I'm really amazed at just how shit the DMs I hear about on here are

>>51947380
>>51947361
Little of both, really.
I've had players not have common races available simply because they were not in the region, the game was bound to that region, but occasional travelers did appear.
>>51947400
Amused.
>>51947414
70% of it is fake.

>>51938524
>that player who thinks taking some damage means the fight is unwinnable or way above their power level
Over multiple campaigns from at least 3 separate DMs, taking damage during combat meant a TPK in that encounter.

>>51947342
>Avaliable races are these
>Ok, pick this among them

Had one DM who couldn't even do that right.

>here's a list of available races in my fantasy setting
>yes literal sci-fi robots are on the list
>no you can't play them, they're completely immune to magic, why would I let you play one?

And not the "infinite SR" thing golems have, robots in his setting were just outright unaffected by any sort of outside magic effect(something he retconned when we pointed out that being unaffected by magic meant they couldn't get any benefit from magic items).

It only existed so he could make a robot our BBEG. Said BBEG was also equipped with a homebrew magic item that gave an identical immunity to non-magical attacks(that technically we could craft ourselves, but the crafting costs were ridiculously high). Along with a homebrew point buy rule that let us drop our stats to 1 to boost others, a rule that clearly existed JUST to min/max his BBEG and boost only STR and DEX, leaving every other stat at 1.

I just made a Rogue and stole that shit from him, and our Ranger just sniped him, killing him instantly since his HP was only double digits.

Our DM is shit at running games, but I'll give him credit where it's due, when he makes dumb houserules like that, he sticks to it, even if it lets dumb loopholes like that happen.

>>51947400
So, a woman playing a male character should do what exactly? I've tried to downplay any stereotypical differences between sexes but was told I'm still playing the character "like a woman". I don't see how. They're a taciturn monk. I punch people to death and that's it.

>>51947320
Depends on a couple of things. I try and avoid the binary "you fail they die" scenarios most of the time, unless things are coming up in the end game or the players screwed up somehow. Some examples include:

>the aforementioned awkward family Shadowrun dinner.
>the party ignored the clue bat and now there's an undead horde headed straight for the village. Hold them at the choke point and buy the valley time to evacuate.
>Uncle's new business partner is actually the crime boss the players ripped off two missions ago, and (s)he is VERY INTERESTED IN WHERE THEIR MERCHANDISE WENT.

I'm not saying you can't or shouldn't use them to create an either/or situation, I just don't like to. It also helps that my players go to great lengths to insulate and protect NPC family. It's just more fun to use them to build the story with.

>>51947423
PCs aren't travelers?

>>51947468
The players are seeing you, the player, not the character, because the character isn't boisterous or outspoken enough to force a dissonance.
>>51947320
Yes.
What you do is NOT KILL THEM, tho. Don't kill player related npcs unless the player fucks up that badly, because an npc dead usually doesn't return, which means you, the GM, now have less options to get under the player's skin.

>>51947480
These pcs, no.
The underpinning of the story was that each of the pcs was a possible reborn hero of the land, and the hero was born of one of the classic peoples that lived there for generations.
Having an outsider come in for some delicious white man's burden style situations was not on the plate.

>>51947468
wtf? if anyone in your group complained because you werent "manly" enough then theyre fuckin weird.

>>51947478
it's a CoC campain and since it's been a long time we haven't played, I'll go pretty light on the whole monster fest thing. The main focus being on dragging ordinary people (it's a modern setting) into a world beneath them where people sell human skin and performs rituals to talk to grotesque outer-world creatures. The family thing will not be used before a long time because of that but I'll make sure they don't "forget" them
>>51947499
it wasn't planned

>>51945229
Life experience is not stabbing an owlbear to death experience, and besides, exp is an abstraction in the first place, as are levels.

>>51947530
...that sounds like /pol/ magical realm

>>51947251

Bear in mind this Player is your typical I_Refuse_To_Read_The_PHB.jpg player and this is for any system. And so when he is reading the sections about his class or what-have-you, he always goes "Oh man, gee, I dunno, guys what do you think I should take?" And then the usual process begins: the Player asks for help then slowly transitions all chargen decision making to the person helping him. At the end of chargen its more the other players character than his own. And its not just in chargen, anytime we've leveled up or sat in a shop he'll ask other people what feat or skill he should get or what item to buy.

>>51937962
>DM had a hilariously evil DMPC in a zombie apocalypse d20 game
>Shot NPCs in the knees and left them to die, even when it wasn't necessary, and as otherise an evil douche
>DM wants us to enter his plot device Military fortress
>Describes it as fort fucking doom, snipers all over the walls, one way in, obviously going to trap us there.
>The NPC greeter talks to us, we mention we're trying to find a cure.
>He just gives us a "These guys right here" chuckle
>Nope the fuck out of there
>DMPC tries to convince us "We should totally go into fort fuckstorm, guys"
>DM actually storms away from the table when the nurse empties her autopistol into his chest

>Literally no incentive to enter the fortress
>Screams Death from every wall
>And then Captain Bastard the Absolute Fucker tells us it's a good idea to enter
>What did he expect?

>>51947601
>it wasn't planned
Being male?

>>51947644
What? The white man's burden schtick, or the reborn hero schtick?

>>51947835
>heroes of the fatherland
>can only reborn in pure race people of the fatherland
>outsiders (instead of foreigner) are bad you can't play them

>>51947877
Then you learn the "hero" can be born of any of 8 races, because no one knows what the hero was.
I was ripping the Nevarine, not someone's foolishness.

>>51931711
>players that make stupid joke characters in serious campaigns

My campaign I am running right now is super serious yet I still manage to balance it. The other day I had an Imp fight with his Divorced Wife while the party fought there children. I had a fucking Giant join the party who is basically Sloth from the Goonies. L2BetterDM

Its your fault if the serious campaign can't be balanced with humor.

>>51931897
>Players who don't actually give a shit about the game or the other characters and spend every session fucking off on their own to build up some kind of business empire

Fucking hell this so much

I've also got this one player and I'm not sure what to call them

They play some special snowflake cleric with a homebrew magic knife where essentially, the more good deeds he does, the longer and more powerful his blade gets. Should've told him "no" but he's an IRL friend and for me, those are hard to find. His whole schtick was a "Cleric who travels the lands and helps and heals people in service of [generic good deity]"

He killed ~23 innocents until he was put down by the fighter. He always argued with me and used medical meta-knowledge and would oft go into detail about how he healed wounded innocents that he attacked in the first place, and kept demanding OP magic shit and complained when his alignment shifted to evil and he lost all of his cleric powers. I think the last straw was when he murdered a kiddo and then performed invasive """Surgery""" on the body

god damn he pisses me off

>>51943574
You could do fine without a healer depending on party build and individual character builds. The same is true of tanks, just don't get hit. If you think the party needs a role so fucking bad fill it yourself.

>>51948108
friend or not, you shouldn't let him use the game for his personal fantasies

>>51943574
Really, this is part of why I play 4e. There's a number of different playstyles you could get from healers.

I mostly play Warlords though.

>>51948176
>If you think the party needs a role so fucking bad fill it yourself.
Depends on the system and the style of the campaign

>>51948185
I've learned to say "no" since then

It was supposed to be a dead serious campaign but he corrupted it into a lolsorandom fuckfest and I still resent him for it

>>51948229
let's hope he learned so that the next campain could be serious this time

>>51948200
Why the hell could someone else fill a role during character creation but not you? Is there some system that bans specific people from filling specific roles during character creation?

>>51935521
>People in the middle ages can trace a character back to his family based off a description of this guy wearing armour and often face concealing helms
>enough people know where this guy is from ti actually pinpoint his fucking family
>DMs believe that
And that's why there are so many PCs with dead family.

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>>51948252
>let's hope he learned so that the next campaign could be serious this time

>>51948271
Didn't want to reply you but the OP, my mistake

As for filling it yourself, you're right.

People who roll up characters with traits which they KNOW will grate with 90% of other characters

Last week we had a guy (He's been spitballing for the last month or so but this was ridiculous) try to stop the party from looting a band of marauding orcs that we just saved a band of travelers from because "stealing is wrong"

>>51939868
I know this is probably more of a /v/ thing, but i don't go there.

WHAT THE FUCK IS BIOWARE DOING? Mass effect was my favorite game series. They botched the ending hard, and now they have a chance to bring back the series, and they're not even trying with the animations and shit. It's so fucking ugly

>>51948319

>what is heraldry
>what are divination spells

Hmm, a guy with a flaming sword that sings that everyone refers to as "The Hero of Dunwall, Slayer of the Black Dragon" who chums around with an elf who is always accompanied by giant wolf that's tamer than a lapdog and a flamboyant guy who sets shit on fire with his mind. Could be anyone!

>>51947268
The player I had barely ever looked into any cool combos that bards have, instead electing to cast savage mockery to do 1d4 damage every single turn, and then complain they're useless.

>>51947786
In another timeline:
>You go in
>GM mocks you for falling for the obvious trap and uses this to justify the tide of horseshit that swells over the horizon.

>>51948598
I've done that here and there, but only to draw out a player into a mild conflict that is either resolved, or adds a foil to the relationship.

>>51948956
>I know shit but will still complain about shit I don't know being weak
As a guy who actually knows weak classes, fuck him
But hey, new type of guys to hate, thanks for the insight

>>51949054
> treating TRPG as a fight between GM and players

Boy, it sure was a fun campaign when the party stayed law abiding citizens and didn't do anything.

>>51947440
what fucking system is so ass-backwards that taking any damage consistently leads to a death spiral?

>>51949732
shadowrun

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>>51932886

>people using their phones regularly at the table for any reason

any motherfucker who is able to set aside an a few hours for /tg/ can put his phone anyway for the duration. calls or messages can happen if they have an excuse for it, but as a goddamn exception.

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>>51939418
I like what you did there.

>>51942266
I'm not sure how I feel about this. I don't like the idea of restricting class choice, but playing tactically and having a balanced group of team members also makes sense.

Our current 5e party consists of a Barbarian, a Druid, a Bard, a Monk and a fallen Paladin. We don't have a conventional healer and our GM said to me in private that balancing encounters was much more difficult. We got by on the Paladin and Bard's healing, with the Monk acting as a doctor afterwards and patching people up with Medicine, but things are changing now.

>>51950323
>GM whispers to me in private that 5e is an MMO

Yeah that sucks

>>51950364
I mean, I only became aware of it because the GM told me. I always found that we got by with a less conventional party composition.

>>51950403
Hey, at least it's possible. It could definitely be worse.

>>51950323
Balancing around not having a dedicated healer is as easy as handing out more healing potions and having more friendly NPCs willing to cure petrification and curses.

>>51950568
>handing out more healing potions and having more friendly NPCs willing to cure petrification and curses.
We've had neither of those. Healing potions are incredibly fucking rare, for some reason.

>>51950568
>is as easy as handing out more healing potions and having more friendly NPCs willing to cure petrification and curses.
So basially begging the GM, players agency matters not in there, it depends entirely on the GM so not "easy" as you make it to be.

>>51931880
Shit that's me, sorry. I just wish I had more animals I could talk to.

>>51950958
It's cool Eliza, you just take after your father Nigel.

>>51947468
Have your monk stop wearing clothes for a religious cleansing ceremony and describe an ideal dick on him. Just really make all the other players feel inadequate with it.

>>51950743
>it depends entirely on the GM so not "easy" as you make it to be.
no shit it depends on the GM, the players aren't exactly in charge of balancing encounters now, are they?
use your fuckin' noggin

>>51936806
>Rogue built for scouting. Not built for combat, sneak attack, or anything really fighty. Enemies don't have patrols or configurations for him to scout out and warn the party about (Basically they just stand in inexplicably-impassable rooms in the arrangement of the next encounter), the only loot is physically on the enemy's personage, and any extra info gained from scouting ahead is either useless or misdirection.


You just gave me a idea for my next character.
My GM loves to have a real world feel with scouts and guards. I have been wantig to try a non combat character, but I didn't know how to be useful for things other than social shit. Scouth would be perfect.

>>51953477
You're fucking stupid, picking a cleric and use healing spells to heal is entirely dependant on the player. Need heals? cast heals, you don't need permission nor DM fiat for it.

Getting enough healing potions and healer NPCs is something the GM has to actively throw at you. See the difference?

Bluntly put, I hate the guy who can't read the mood of the table. Maybe it's not his fault, maybe he just doesn't realize that he's breaking the tone of the game by rolling Kender in Ravenloft. That Edgy McBloodSerious may not fit in during game where our first mission is about killing the Ur-Rat in the actual literal dungeon below the World's Greatest Inn™©®℗. Maybe he doesn't pick up that our adventuring party is specialized team of monster hunters, and that his clusterfuck of a build is really hampering everything. It might not dawn on him that Gragrack the Facesmasher isn't well suited to a game dealing heavily with politics. Or maybe he knows full well what he's doing, I don't know.

Either way, fuck this guy. Because it's not just that he's just ever so slightly disrupting the game just by being part of it. He's in love with whatever he's made, and any attempts to nudge him into getting with the program is met with hostility.

Players who are afraid to take risks or get creative are probably my biggest pet peeve. Doing creative shit as a player is probably the most important thing for a game to be memorable and I always try to create opportunities for that, but some people are just dead weight in that regard
>>51929400
They pretty much chose the worst way to try and contribute though. Trip/disarm/grapple shit just slows everything down, and if they are willing to take the time to maximize trip rolls they could probably take the time to find a better class to play that still has the themes they want. Generally it's better to just not play 3.5 though

>>51943773
You are the kind of person I want to game with.

>>51954572
>Players who are afraid to take risks or get creative are probably my biggest pet peeve
Jesus Christ, are you me? Everyone is such a bland rice cracker in my games. They always go home saying "good session" and "thanks for running" but holy fuck, they're so bland and lame and inoffensive. DO SOMETHING EXCITING FOR ONCE.

>>51955679
Maybe give them some choices that you know will be divisive

>>51955747
I don't really want them to have things to argue about, I just want them to do things that aren't outlined in the list of actions or class abilities or feats or whatever. Just try to break a bridge instead of fighting people on it, that sort of thing. It's the aversion to things that require thinking on the fly that bothers me.

>>51954266
>>51953477
>>51950743
>>51950596
Go on a player made sidequest, "find an alchemist contact" or "find a cleric hireling" Then. Bam, your healing is in your own hands once more.

>>51955853
Oh fuck, I dunno whether you'd love or hate our group then. We've solved multiple problems by initiating/leading an uprising, and we turned one mission into Saint's Row 40K edition to solve shit. We can get pretty creative but man do we create extra work for whoever's GMing.

>>51945968
If you're introducing third party stuff, of course it isn't going to be balanced.

My biggest problem are people who think they can force the world to work for them.

Like in one game I had everyone make a villager in a small town but one guy just really really wanted to make a snowflake, i gave in cause it was his first game

Then some enemies raided the town shouting a chant. The player was like "My character has heard this chant before" & i was like no you fucking havent. He had this idea that the game was more like a soft roleplaying forum where everyone is a snowflaky vampire or whatever & there isnt a GM just people being angsty. He kept trying to inforce his own idea on the world in a really annoying way. Constantly trying to dictate NPCs actions & such, like a group RP IRC channel. Sure some games encourage that but i was running D&D

>>51948887
And that is why, their parents are dead. It's the only surefire defense against that dogshit.

>>51956928
Rushing to defend your parents' because a werewolf mobster you pissed off found out where your family lives is a fun adventure hook that will let you actually develop your character.

So is saving your father's bakery from the local gang asking for protection money.

But of course, you could just wander into an inn and have a hooded person offer you gold for killing bandits in a corner.

>>51957007
There's that, but there's the more common trope where the DM lets you know the Shire was Scourged after the fact and your family died without you knowing, so now you GOTTA go after the baddie not to stop them doing evil but for PERSONAL VENGEANCE.

>>51956928
the only defense against "rocks fall, everyone dies" is being a high level wizard with contingencies to teleport in case rocks fall.
why play anything else

>>51957103
Sounds like a shit DM who deserves all the silent efficient veteran mercenary murderhobos without a personality or feeling about anything aside from being paid.

>>51957150
That's what some DMs want, and others mistakenly believe it's a good way to inspire a character and use the material they've been given.
I've never encountered it since I was the founder of my groups and entered the hobby on a whim and a starter kit, but it's bitched about constantly on this board so there must be some base in reality

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>DM will NOT stop talking shit about a player when he's not here.
>Even when he doesn't invite him over
>Even when he's not DMing, I am and we're not even playing that fucking game!

It drives me up the wall, because I'm the one who introduced those two.
And the friend is the one who got his fat ass INTO rpgs, and he's here just ripping into a guy who's not even around to defend himself.

>>51957253
Call his ass out. Don't let him shittalk other people in the group. He's got no right.

>>51957007
I've already saved you the trouble, boss. My parents died and I've long since made my peace with that, we can move on now.

>>51957191
>taking anything that is said on this board for reality

>>51940289

Not having family member characters and being edgy are not mutually exclusive things here, bub

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>>51957679
>Not having the episode where the dark, brooding, chuuni character winds up back in their hometown with a doting mother, proud father, annoying siblings, faithful pet, and grandparent that complains they didn't just settle down and marry the baker

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>The guy who shows up, smug, with the only intent to derail the game.
>Can't derail it because DM skillz
>Stops showing up.

>>51929312
>That DM who keeps asking for party health, especially just after a crit to someone, to make sure everyone gets damaged at a nice, equally distributed pace

Fucking why? This kills immersion so hard so fast. This shit drives me up the wall. If party members haven't been able to do shit, barely tangling with a few enemies, but smashfuck upfront is presenting themselves as a dangerous target, after 1 crit most of their enemies turn around and focus everyone else? Why? Shouldn't they press the advantage? If not just continue targeting the thing that's actually killing them?

Really, it just eliminates any type of fun or risk-reward system. Being daring in combat is pointless, the party will involuntarily soak for you. Being careful is pointless, if DM sees your HP is higher then the parties, you better believe you're gonna get an overwhelming rude awakening for no real reason. Manage to heal yourself up? Fuck you the whole room attacks you, get back with the group.

>>51957987
Fuck alll that shit

>>51942330
>SWTOR memes
Pretty dank

>players that PM you multiple times in between sessions for simple shit.
>You can't bring yourself to get mad about it because he the only one that puts effort into note taking, lore, and intra-party sociodynamics.

>>51957987
What's even worse is those that do that shit in other games. Like people in MTG with zero threat assessment who cast decimate targeting your board because you dealt 12 damage to the Oloro player (who is at 38 even when the next highest lp is 31).

>>51957986

This has a good story behind it, tell it to us.

>Player shows up with a gimmick build based off of a vaguely worded mechanic
>Gets mad when I house rule the mechanic to not be completely broken.
It was bluff in pathfinder. +20 DC to make someone believe an impossible lie. Some 3rd party feat to allow for a set bluff DC. Tried to convince a banker that his copper coins were platinum. Told him that the banker believes that he believes them to be platinum, then asks him to leave the bank.

>>51957253
>talks shit about a guy talking shit
>does it behind his back, anonymously on the internet

Hot memes son.

>>51957987

That's a GM woefully misunderstanding how fairness should work. At least their heart is in the right place.

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>>51958879
Quite the opposite, pretty mundane;
>Every PC in the campaign has a motivation we worked out.
>One of my PC's is revenge on someone who harmed him.
>Thinks it'll be funny to just run away and avoid this story.
>Prepared for this with alternative stories, adventures or whatever.
>Campaign flows like gravy
>Dude just kinda gets melancholy that he's actually playing the game, stops showing up.
>Game continues with my 5 other friends.

Eberron, 3.5, dude was a House Cannith Artificer who had his million dollar idea stolen and was left for dead. Sharn has a million other stories to tell though.

>>51958948
>+20 DC to make someone believe an impossible lie.
>Some 3rd party feat to allow for a set bluff DC

What horrifyingly shitty rules. Both of those things are stupid as fuck.

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>>51958948
This was the best move you could've made, Senpai.

>>51959059
Or maybe he's just scared if he butchershops them they'll stop playing? :(

He just wants to play with his friends.

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>>51959126
I want to feel the rush of combat, I want to feel weight to my choices, I want to know I can die, I want to live once before this campaign collapses onto itself like they always do.

>>51937962
This probably isn't you, but a player did this last saturday and full story even if it is you.
>Evil campaign
>Player makes an absurdly long and pointless backstory about his mlp inspired evil cleric
>Pregame gets pissy about someone else being more powerful than his shit level 3 cleric
>Plays CE, but promises to be like the joker
>Game begins, instead of going on the agreed upon path (I was short on time and had to plan ahead a lot, didn't do any of it) he goes to have dinner with another PC
>Third PC plays a prank on second PC
>Cleric decides one bad meal is enough to kill the chef
>Drag him into secluded area, constantly rambling about sexually violating the corpse
>Pc and cleric do short agreed upon pvp (Mutual, they were ok with it)
>Cleric wins, again sexually violates corpse
>I'm losing patience at this point, this is not the joker.
>Want to go find the chef's son, for some reason thinks his info will be at the steakhouse
>Instead of sneaking in with giant golem guards around decides to forgo stealth and be as loud as possible
>Gets shitty when combat starts
>Entire party gets knocked out and arrested
>Cleric gets pissy about how he clearly wasn't in the wrong, despite horrible derailing and getting the party into shit
>I'm laughing internally, sort of expected it
>He calls me a bad DM for knocking him out at the end of the session
>Ragequits

>>51959243
Forgot to mention: The other two PCs played evil pretty good. Ones a comical edgelord antipaladin (Lawful evil) and the other was a self interested sorcerer. Now he's playing a dragon thirdparty thing, on their way to form team rocket.

>>51959075
>people this ridiculously petty actually exist
I hate this hobby.

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>>51959302
Not even my most petty story.

>Dating bitchy chick who plays D&D, not my finest hour
>She finds the 3.5 Tier List
>Thinks she'll use it to become... something? I don't know what she wanted to get out this?
>Wizard with 16 int, and most other stats around 12-14.
>Picks retarded spells, don't know how to really min-max this to do what she wants.
>Complains that the Tier-List isn't true and spell-casters suck.
>Demands we start a new campaign so she can be a Ranger or Rogue

>>51937196
I get this when playing Deathwatch
I kind of assume command of the Squad every adventure since I know how to play situations to our benefit and have decent tactical knowledge.

>spellcaster takes forever to decide what to do on his turn
>"ah fuck it magic missile" or something like that.

>>51959243
>mlp inspired
>evil cleric

What? How do these two concepts go together at all?

>>51947786

DMPCs hardly ever do shit in our games. For us it's usually

>DMPC joins the party
>several levels ahead of anyone in the party, total badass etc
>big bad enemy shows up and completely annihilates DMPC before fighting the party

>>51961608
best use of GMPCs besides not existing

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>>51961559
The primarily villains for the most recent incarnation were as follows: An omnicidal Moon Goddess corrupted by envy, the physical manifestation of Chaos, a G-rated insectoid Succubus Queen, a crystal lich, a demon centaur that eats magic, and a time hopping megalomaniac.

Three of those were redeemed eventually, one escaped, one was chained up in actual Tartarus, and one was flat out disintegrated.

>>51961958
Alright sure, but how does one get "evil cleric" from any of those?

>>51961982
I assume by the joker comment he was going for the chaos guy.

>>51961608
That's not a GMPC, that's just a regular ass npc.

>>51938542
>6 hours every week
people actually have time for this? Reserve 6 hours every week, with no fail?

Damn, must mean there are too many random elements in my life...

>>51948108
>hurt people to have patients to treat
What is he, jewish?

>>51943585
>What does this post mean? It's ambiguous to the point of nonsense.

I suspect >>51943545
>He grew beyond your mediocre tastes.
Was intended as a response to >>51941869
>God that movie was shit, what in the fuck happened to Simon Pegg?

I haven't seen that one, but I doubt I could be disappointed by that combination, ever.

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>>51929312
>MFW I make him fight a magical durka that can explode by yammering to his god

>>51929312
>>that smug munchkin that makes a trip/disarm/grapple build
>>51947047
>It slows some games down rather badly.
>>51954572
>Trip/disarm/grapple shit just slows everything down
Anything that slows down the game gets a lethal dose of handwavium.
No exceptions.

>What players do you hate?
I'm not really that hateful.
But, I'd have to say the ones that are unable to consistently play whenever my schedule allows a few hours to play, at barely a moment's notice, and at a quality level.
Which is to say everyone.

I might have to resort to sporadically running quests at this point.

>>51947333
Please post the adventurer Egg storytime.
I don't have it saved and can't for the ass of me find it.

>>51945953
God no. In my made up world I like to imagine having -fun-. IRL group in socially required to attend. The dm is a shitnugget and the only viable build is one that grants full player agency. We alternate d&d and nwod and its both as egregious in regards to doing anything cha or knowledge based in both games.

>>51945953
To supplement cause I just got more free time, the dm and a third party member actually argue that diplomacy is broken because it let's you instawin encounters. "See anon you say your character is weak but he is actually the strongest on the party cause if you roll high enough you actually did 300 damage in one turn since that's their hp and you made a battle unnecessary. Or you would have but that 34 wasn't high enough. Same deal in nwod where a rank 4 nature spirit was going crazy and I managed to roll it down so we could pass with diplomacy. The group never let me live it down. After that diplomacy started failing errywhere and I realized the dm controls when you have a diceroll to succeed and when you are mostly useless depending on level of specialising. My argument was that DMs like this has to exist elsewhere as well, so no, anon. It says as much about other DMs as your statement does about other players. My group head almost entirely turned me off of things that aren't entirely to to the written rules to decide success. I.e fightan guys in wod. Similar in d&d

>>51963713
>Anything that slows down the game gets a lethal dose of handwavium
So you should get rid of combat and replace it with a coin flip, because combat tends to take large amounts of time?

>>51936036
>Players who can't separate characters from themselves.

This one is more insidious than people think. People that do this take failures and rulings personally, and get butthurt about it. My entire group did this when we were younger and it caused SO MANY arguments.

Nowadays I always tell the players in my group to play someone that isn't themselves: the character. Everyone's happier for it.

>>51964050
That exists for combat too, where the GM can make the HP arbitrary high if you do "too much" damage to it, though.

"Oh, you did... 500 damage in one round? Good job. Next guy hits it for.. five damage? Ok, it had 505 HP and the other guy kills it, he gets full XP and you get 0 because killing hit gets the xp."

Shit GMs are shit, and can handwave anything a player does away.

>>51961994
That guy's DM, he sure was fucking chaotic.
Played CE in the exact wrong way to do it and gives me shit when he's punished for in game reasons.

>>51945475
Did you call the gm out on his billshit?

>>51964198
>So you should get rid of combat and replace it with a coin flip, because combat tends to take large amounts of time?
>slows down the game =/= takes large amounts of time
Playing the game itself, ideally, nearly "takes all the amount of time" of the game, but skipping it means skipping the game.
Deciding what defines "slowing down the game", which obviously means "slowing down the game and therefore taking time from more important parts of the game", is subjective and relative, of course.

>>51964405
So, is specialising in disarming someone, as referred to from points
>>51929312
>>51947047
>>51947047
part of the game? What part of the game's important and what is something that slows down the game? Making the enemies HP numbers go down towards zero? Rendering the enemy harmless?

You can make the battle go by much faster by having players skip for example their to-hit rolls and say everything hits for max damage. The enemy or players reach 0 HP faster that way.

>>51964445
>What part of the game's important and what is something that slows down the game?
See
>>51964405
>is subjective and relative, of course.

>>51931634
I have a regular player in my group who constantly tries to have his character "stealth it" just like this. Every single time the GM needs to ask him what he's actually doing/hiding behind to avoid detection and he never remembers to RP it the next time.

>>51947636
>my character is a master tactician and a veteran of 5 wars!
>what do you mean I died to a goblin with a rusty knife?

>>51964763
So, subjectively to you, are disarms important, or are they something slowing down the game? If I were to be playing with you I'd like to know whether I should bother investing in disarming skills, tripping, spell debuffs, or whether I should just make something that does pure HP damage.

>>51929312
That player who assumes setting lore without asking the GM about it, then gets upset when the actual setting lore doesn't match with what he assumed.
That player who wants to change characters every three months.
That player who keeps trying to act like the party leader, even in games where we have an established party leader.
That player who tries to act like a tactician when he's bad at coming up with tactics/working with the rest of the party.
That player online who's playing vidya on his end mid-session.
That player who tries to make his character an uber-badass in their backstory when we're starting at level 1.
That player who gets upset if his character isn't a badass in every encounter and doesn't want to work his way up.
That player who can't remember NPC names even with a list of journal entries w/images for each one available.

>>51961368
I have the opposite problem.
>"I take a 5ft step and cast Enlarge Person".

>>51962820
Game master player character, they can be done well but jesus christ when they bomb, they bomb hard

>>51962820

I mean if they have class levels, and help you out in a couple fights first, where do you draw the line?

>>51965140
>That player who assumes setting lore without asking the GM about it, then gets upset when the actual setting lore doesn't match with what he assumed.

I more get upset when people just straight up don't read the basic setting notes and get mad when they do something stupid as a result.

Example that happened a few years ago

>Be playing homebrew setting campaign
>What people were playing doesn't matter, so I'll refer to them as Derp and Rest of the Party
>Everyone arrives at a port town. Everyone's level 6 by this point, and been personally involved in some major plot stuff going on so far.
>Derp suddenly decides he wants to charter a boat to another continent and go on a completely different adventure.
>I take it as a hint that "Hey, I dislike something about the current campaign" and ask what kind of adventure he was going to look for, maybe I can modify things a bit to fit that.
>He says he just wants to go to a random tavern when he hits land and see what plot hooks I throw at him. Too vague to be of any help, and he refuses to get any more specific than that.
>Rest of the party, IC, asks if he's hit his head or something
>He insists he wants to go to another continent
>Someone facepalms. I just run with it because he's going to keep this up regardless, so I let him try to charter a ship to another continent. Rest of the party sits back and watches, clearly they read the setting notes.

Cont

>>51929312
>>that smug munchkin that makes a trip/disarm/grapple build
>What players do you hate?
People who don't read the fucking rules, or are too beta to suggest playing a different system they understand.

>>51942266
Anon. I feel ya. God do I feel ya.

>>51929312
>that player who complains about being "forever dm" but is consistently disruptive when a player

>>51966115

>Derp walks up and talks to a man about sailing to another continent. Every captain he asks just laughs in his face and asks if he's got brain damage before telling him to fuck off.
>He wants to stab someone and steal their boat before I remind him it's the busiest port town in the setting, so lots of people there watching.
>He finally convinces some down on his luck guy who basically owns a tugboat to sell him his boat. He was going to give him a ride, but turned him down when Derp said "another continent."
>He gives Derp a funny look, but offers to sell him his boat since he's not using it much anymore anyways.
>Boat costs too much, and the rest of the party won't fund his shenanigans, so he just settle for trading a few magic items he decides he's not going to use anymore, mostly old equipment he hadn't had a chance to sell yet
>Captain goes to the tavern to get drunk, laughing because he's clearly gotten the better end of the deal.
>Derp hops on his boat and takes off for a new continent and a new adventure...then has to hop off to untie the boat from the dock, and then take off again.
>The rest of the party watches
>Derp sails off over the horizon...and then I ask him to roll a new character
>After he's done raging that I won't basically run a second solo campaign for him, I ask him where the fuck he thought he was sailing to
>he says he was going to point at the nearest continent and sail till he hits land
>I point 3 flaws with that plan.
>1. The only supplies he had was enough food to last 2 days.
>2. I'm already running a campaign, I'm not doing 2 during the same session.
>3. There are no other continents. They were all destroyed in a big event hundreds of years ago.
>He tried to get everyone else on his side, but everyone else read the notes and were aware of this.
>He seethes for a bit and then rerolls.
>The party go to the tavern to find a replacement.
>We eventually decided he would play the captain who still had his backup equipment.

>>51966213
I know a GM like this. Ever since he started GM'ing, any time he plays in someone else's game he constantly complains about their GM'ing style and the system they're running.

>>51966247
What's worse is that any time he's able to talk to other gamer folk he immediately leads with "as the one who always dms for my group."

>>51965034
>So, subjectively to you, are disarms important, or are they something slowing down the game?
If they take about as much time as any other additional roll, they're fine.

>If I were to be playing with you I'd like to know whether I should bother investing in disarming skills, tripping, spell debuffs, or whether I should just make something that does pure HP damage.
Well, that's just reasonable.

>>51937624
I don't care if it happen in history. It's unrealistic and stupid.

>>51935490
How rich or powerful are these niggas that resurrection is possible?

>>51965140
I'm one of those wom after not getting to play for 2-3 months, no longer remembers the old characters motivations and plans. This often leads to me wanting to play someone new or fresh.
>I didn't even know I was that guy.

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>>51966224
Thanks for the story man.
Letting him play the down-on-his-luck captain was also a seriously cool thing to do. (Makes you able to just give him OK-ish stats and skip a lengthy char-gen)
Keep at it!