What kind of jokes would a stand up comedian tell in an

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WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH BLACK PEOPLE

What's the deal with dungeon food? Do they really think we believe iron rations are made out of iron?

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>>51759308
>What's the deal with dungeon food?
[TRIGGERED]

>>51759142
Racist jokes.
I.E. Nothing different.
Though they might change their jokes for nobles....

What's the deal with people always warning the evil overlord plans will be "the end of the world as we know it" that happens all the time, I mean the world changes everyday, so every night when we got to bed, brush our teeth, go to sleep it really is the end of the world as we know it every single day!

A barbarian, a ranger, and a druid walk into a tavern. The bartender demands they leave, because he won't stand for wild parties.

>>51759142
If it's fantasy Sienfield. He would still be unfunny and ignorant, except he wouldn't be as well known since his TV show wouldn't exist

DON'T YOU JUST HATE IT WHEN YOU COME BACK FROM THE DUNGEON HAULING ALL THAT LOOT TO SELL, AND THE MERCHANT WANTS TO PAY YOU IN COPPERS? I MEAN COME ON, YOU COME AWAY HEAVIER THAN WHEN YOU ARRIVED! I'M PRETTY SURE THE POST-QUEST WALKING IS SUPPOSED TO BE EASIER THAN THE MID-QUEST HAULING, AM I RIGHT?
*REPEATED DRAMATIC SHRUGGING*

>>51759142
What's up with dungeoneers packs? I mean they give you all these stuff you never going to use! You ever had to carry a dungeoneers pack? Its not fun! The whole time you're dungeon crawling, you're thinking in the back of your mind, "Boy I sure do hope I get to use those 10x pitons I brought"

And the name, "dungeoneers pack". I mean really, who comes up with this stuff? If they were honest they'll call it "the weekend warrior pack". You know people will lose half of those things and give up adventuring to see if they could use the 10x torches to light up the 50' hemp rope and call it a day.

>>51759142
Fantasy George Carlin would be that one old man npc who is constantly angry about everything, but gives the party kinda useful advice

>>51759142
You ever noticed elves talk like this...

and dwarves talk like this...

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WHEN SOMEONE BEGS YOU FOR HELP, IF YOU QUOTE THEM YOUR HOURLY RATES, YOUUU MIGHT BE AN ADVENTURER!

IF YOU AND YOUR BUDDIES CARRY AROUND MORE GOLD THAN THE BANK OF GREYHAWK, YOUUUUUU MIGHT BE AN ADVENTURER!

WHEN A DRAGON LANDS IN TOWN, IF YOU THINK TO YOURSELF "HOO BOY, THAT'D MAKE A GREAT COAT" YOUUUUUUUUUU MIGHT BE AN ADVENTURER!

>>51759603
>dat filename
Top fucking kek

Elves are the france of the fantasy world.

>>51759142

>racial jokes
>"Not to be racist but elves GHHKAAAAAH"

>religious jokes
>famous priest fined after tossing 5sp to halflings with "kill the drows" scrolls

>society jokes
>when the local tavern with connections to the various guilds in town has less customers than you're mum

Why do bears have round ears?

Because they're the only animals in the forest the elves haven't gotten around to fucking yet.

WE ARE THE SOCIETY OF PALADINS. ALL JOKES MUST END, THIS IS PROBLEMATIC. ALL MIRTH MUST SUFFER, FOR WE DEMAND "EQUALITY". KILL THE WHITE MALES OR ELSE.

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>>51759432
seinfeld is great
and he was pretty famous before he had a tv show

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>>51762352
>Religious jokes
That reminds me of that one time I tried to make a Jew joke my uncle made years ago part of my setting's canon but decided against it.

>>51762407
Now you see... While I don't agree with you, I can at least see most of your side of it. But that last one just doesn't make sense or connect.

>>51762505
>tried to make a Jew joke my uncle made years ago part of my setting's canon
...care to elaborate?

>>51762531
They're SJWs

>>51759432
The unfunny part I get, but what does he say that's ignorant?

>>51762617
Ya know, I keep seeing that acronym, but I don't actually know what it is.

>>51762595
Alright. Here's the joke:
A priest, an imam and a rabbi enter a bar. They get a drink and they start discussing whatever they do with the donations they get. The priest speaks up first and he says "I give half of it to the church and half of it to the poor". Then the imam, who says (almost) the same: "I give half of it to the mosque and half of it to the poor". Finally the Rabbi speaks up: "I toss everything in the air. Whatever God needs he takes, whatever falls down is mine!"

This is how I wanted to implement it in my setting:
You know how Garl Glittergold is the patron deity of gnomes, humor, gold and tricksters? I thought that I'd give gnomes a certain ritual they'd perform whenever asking Garl for good luck. They'd approach one of his altars/chapels/sanctuaries with a coin in hand. They'd flip the coin in the air and catch it. The idea being "If Garl needs the money he'll take it, if not it's mine to keep"

>>51762658
Dude, that's actually pretty neat. Consider it stolen.

>>51762656
It stands for Social Justice Warriors

>>51762704
I'm no woman but how do you have sex with a tree? If you shove a branch up your vagina, or even if you just rub up against it, wouldn't the rough bark be really painful? Wouldn't it cause internal bleedings in the worst case scenario?

I need to see a woman have sex with a tree. For science.

>>51762658
But that's great anon

>>51762728
Watch Evil Dead

>>51762652
Straight male. Also sjws hate jews nowadays because of israel (morons don't realize most of their celeb idols and communist writers are jewish too)

Jokes about dragons fucking everything. Also jokes about humans fucking everything.

Hey what's the deal with drow anyway? You know those women? You know the drow? I could never make it as a pleasure slave with one of them, you know, because my problem is I don't know what to call more than one dominatrix. Dominatrises? Dominatrisi? Who are these people?

>>51759142
Jokes about elves.

>>51759279
Underrated.

>>51762998
what, no, SJWs are constantly cucking themselves for zionist shit

>>51762704
>branched out and fallen
my sides

>>51762658

That's pretty damn good and I've stolen it. Thanks anon!

Ever notice how humans walk like this?

*nerdy fast walk*

And Orcs walk like this?

*deliberate swagger*

[audience laughing]

Aww, look at all the humans! You know they're thinkin' "he's got us there".

>>51759279
FPBP

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Actually, wouldn't a medieval setting be more based on satire and Shakespearean/Dante style parody as opposed to one-liners?

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>>51770423
I just imagined the worst shit: an adventurer comedy club. Like, smack-dab in the middle of a dungeon. Adventurers and monsters, living and dead, gather there for a good meal, a good drink and a good laugh.

>>51770487
You know Shakespeare made yo momma jokes, right?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maternal_insult
>Also in Act IV, Scene II of Titus Andronicus, Aaron taunts his lover's sons:
>Demetrius: "Villain, what hast thou done?"
>Aaron: "That which thou canst not undo."
>Chiron: "Thou hast undone our mother."
>Aaron: "Villain, I have done thy mother."

>>51770529
I can only imagine the balls of the drunken hecklers

>>51770423

GAS THE GNOMES! RACE WAR NOW

>>51764987
That's good!

>>51759142
Well if it's pathfinder just about every joke you can imagine that breaks the 4th wall and addressees Pazio's ineptitude at design.

What's the deal with weapon cords?

What's the deal with firearms and crossbows beings straight up worse than archery?

>>51759423
Underrated

>>51762658
Your uncle sounds like he has/had a great sense of humor.

>>51762704
>branched out and fallen

Gonna use this for Ent jokes.

>>51770487
Actually the thing people forget is that Shakespeare worked blue all the time, man knows his audience. Plus the play that netted him the most money was his gory blockbuster Titus Andromache.

>>51759142
What's the deal with mimics? Why don't we start making chests that don't look like mimics?

>>51759308
...why are they called Iron Rations?

>>51770529
Does Aaron grab his codpiece at that line?

>>51770487
Shakespeare comedy was like 1/3 dick jokes, 1/3 sex jokes, and 1/3 puns.

>>51775210
Depends on how much fun Aaron's actor wants to have

>>51759603
go on