ITT: Shit people you game with do that's annoying, but not

>>51636861
...

That was educational. I now know why caffeine doesn't do to me what everyone else talks about.

>Play joke characters when we in a somewhat serious campaign.
>Play elves to portray the most obnoxious gay stereotypes they can think of.

The guy who describes his character to everyone separately when we're all seated at the table together.
>Yeah he's like a spartan from 300.
>I'm just standing over the body smashing it with the hammer.
>Yeah I'm just huge and walking around.

>>51636895
Conversely.
>play serious character in Saturday morning cartoons campaign

>indecisiveness when picking character background and personality.
It's ok to develop that while playing, but I would like to have more to plan with sometimes.

>Metagame but try to play it off
>get started late

Most of my current complaints with the game I'm in are about the system, but these things can grate on me, especially when they happen every week. And we all make fun of those who are at fault, but I'd prefer not to.

About half my group just doesn't bother to get their characters leveled up between sessions, so then the rest of us need to wait aeound half an hour st rhe beginning of the session while they ponder which option to pick up.

I get that they have lives and girlfriends and such but at the same time it's not too hard to set aside half an hour every few weeks. Hell, 2 of them live where we play and I spend more than half an hour just getting there each week.

>>51636861
Break roleplay to explain mechanics
>holding unconscious but stable guy
>alchemist hands me a healing draught for them
>I say we should get to the matter at hand first and not have to explain to this guy what happened
>describe laying him down in an upright position and leaving the potion on his lap for reviving him later and turning back
>"uhm you know that it disappears within 6 seconds?"

DOES IT MATTER YOU CAN MAKE INFINITE MORE IN 6 SECONDS TOO
ALSO THEY CAN EXIST FOR UP TO AN HOUR FUK U LEARN YOUR RULES THEN KEEP THEM TO YOURSELF

Wait, what? Holy shit. I need to start drinking coffee.

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>>51636861
>TL;DR: my friend annoys me and I'm a whiney bitch

great thread

>>51636944
I don't know, I've seen that done right more than a few times.

>>51636861
>>widely recognized that stimulants (including caffeine) have a different effect on people with ADHD than on most people, and help them focus rather than making them wired

Uh... no, you idiot, coffee improves everyone's focus. You're just a caffeine-addicted snowflake.

Need proof?
You came on to /tg/ to complain about a non-issue. You think you're special. You're not. You don't even have ADHD. You're an attention whore. With sincerity, I hope you fill the emptiness inside of you soon. Good luck out there.

>>51636861
I play with a guy that makes no attempt to RP, does WoW dailies during our entire session, and said last session that he "gets bored of his characters after a couple of sessions so he's ready to die".

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>>51636861
>Player's turn
>has to roll for something
>lifts his dice feet above table then drops its
>dice fly everywhere
>6/10 times off the table

Roll it reasonably and we won't have to chase dice every 5 minutes

>>51638003
not op but caffeine does help with add/adhd, google it.

Somebody in my group silent-farts at least once per session. This has been going on for almost a year (WE PLAY EVERY WEEK) and nobody can figure out who the fuck it is.

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>>51638311
>WE PLAY EVERY WEEK

>>51638311
>every week


CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>51638262
I think a lot of people just have an irrational hate for the term adhd because a lot of people try and milk it for sympathy.

>>51638311
Don't you mean that nobody ELSE can figure it out, anon?

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>>51638578
Fug, tell me about it. I can't fucking mention it without people giving me "the look". All these retarded people now a days who think it's "cool" to have a disorder make life suck for people who actually do.

>>51636944
>Guy who makes a serious character when I refer to the game as a joke campaign but when it changes to a serious campaign he changes personality entirely and becomes a joke

I'm not bitter. At all.

>>51636861
Fellow ADHD bro here. Not necessarily on topic, but try buying and learning to solve a rubix cube. I refused to take medication but, I found that having a thing I can do absentmindedly helps me focus on what's in front of me.

>>51638082
One of our guys shakes them in his hand and then slams them on the table. And by slams I mean fucking CRATERS the bitches like the first of an angry god.

>>51639216
I have to remind one player every week to NOT use his oversized metal dice because I don't want meteor strike trails all across my table. JUST STOP BRINGING THEM, PLEASE!

>>51638311
This could be me, but I know not to do this. But this could be me if I wanted to.

...I've thought about it.

I just hate it when a player doesn't know how his characters works and is asking constantly to the GM.
I mean, if they were newbies I would understand...

>>51636861
People who get high and can't pay attention or add to the game can be a lil annoying.

I've never been the judgmental ass who waggles a finger at people for doing drugs, but if you get high and then just basically checkout during the game I feel sorta dumb role playing into a mostly silent room.

Not enough to ruin the game or get me angry, since we're all friends and we're all there to have fun, but if others don't also add to the game it feels like I'm the only one pushing the game along and I get self conscious that I"m stepping on everyone else.

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>>51637073
Oh bro i understand that feel. Relatively new to dnd, playing LMoP currently. Everytime the dude playing the wizard levels up he will spend 50+ mins holding up gameplay reading up on which spells he should take, what they etc. Due to lack of pre reading/planning

>try to game
>people just chitchat around with outside people
>game that would last 20 min goes on for 1 hour
I could chat as well but fucking damn, this isn't fun. You are here to play, not try to hit on the nearby female while stopping the game because it's your turn and you can't stop chatting like a retarded gossip-spreading idiot.

>>51636861
>feigns interest when campaigns are being planned
>feigns confusion when they just don't want to play in an attempt to torpedo the session
>but they also ACTUALLY get confused a lot in general and demand successively more intricate explanations and visual aids
Icing on the cake:
>always attempts to play one of the same three characters with the same name, backstory, and traits.
>despite this attachment they never actually roleplay unless it's to describe that their character is having sex or learning martial arts

This is all one person, and my group's trying to figure out a delicate way to exclude them. They're more-or-less a package deal with another player who is a great guy.

>>51641369
I have that problem. It's basically about ignoring them.
Is the character in the scene? Yes, he's next to that character. And until the group is all in one place, he's always next to that one. If he disagrees tell him that he needs to tell the DM that he goes somewhere differently.

Basically, he's an NPC.


This has helpéd me get one of my problem players to start roleplaying. First he starts doing anything. If that's sneaking after the shady NPC that's acting. A bit later when he's discovered he needs to explain himself. A few sessions of this and he MIGHT start communicating.
My player just did not get what things he should tell the DM and what things not to tell the DM. Weird, but there you have it.

>>51641369
A group of averages trumps a great/bad combo anon

>>51637946
tiny grains of sand can make a desert if it piles enough.

>>51636861
I've got a player where every interaction with him goes like this:
>"Okay, it's now your turn. What do you do?"
>*loud exasperated sigh*
>uuuuuuuuuughmmmm...
>I attack
It's not that annoying, but like a tag in a new pair of pants that makes you itchy way too often, it's getting there.

>>51636861
You're a faggot with a made up diagnosis created for athletes to legally take dope, and you're the one complaining? LOL

>>51638042
It's that guy

I could use some advice from ADHD anons

>be GM
>have ADHD friend who lives in the grey zone between "tolerable" and "that guy"
>Any time I'm doing a scene with other players, he feels to need to loudly announce what his character is thinking/doing (even if they aren't anywhere near the situation at hand)
>doesn't interrupt other players or anything, but it's still mildy annoying
>he's constantly trying to one-up the other players; attempting to do what they do, but better
>this usually ends in his fucking up though, so it's not quite "that guy", but borders on it
>it's obvious that he's desperate for attention and the spotlight, but is polite enough that I wouldn't label him as That Guy
>despite all of this, he does his best to take role-playing seriously

I'm honestly not sure what to do with him. I know he doesn't mean to be a nuisance (I've talked to him about his behaviors, and he seemed to listen), but I think that whenever he's in the heat of the moment, he just instinctively falls back onto bad RP behaviors (the ADHD doesn't help matters). The group and I don't want to kick him, not just because he means well, but also because he's a good friend who I'm still going to see a lot anyway, and that would make things awkward. Do any of you anons with ADHD have any advice? What helps you focus in and chill out during a game session?

>>51642436
Get him a fidget cube, my dog

>>51642436
>>Any time I'm doing a scene with other players, he feels to need to loudly announce what his character is thinking/doing (even if they aren't anywhere near the situation at hand)

Do you think it's just spontaneous ADHD talking or drawing spotlight? And how does the rest of the groep interprets it?

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>Players trying to befriend every single fucking animal they encounter and try to add it to the party.

Stop. It.

>>51642702
I'd allow it.

Then make a plot around a travelling zoo, having to hire retainers and deal with them, handle animals, deal with dangers of the road and other menaces and regularly fight off local branch of Not-Team-Rocket

>>51642702
No fuck you.

>playing a circle of the beast druid
>party end up killing a bugbear that kept two wolves
>beat them, starved them, made them fight his men
>after the fight stop the party from finishing off the wolves
>heal them
>bring them their dead masters body which they tear into
>burn my remaining spell slots on animal friendship and speak with animals
>free them and ask if they want to come with me
>they say yes
>DM makes me roll animal handling
>19 +5
>"uhhhh sorry the wolves flee"
>ask him why
>the rules say you can't get an animal companion

I just wanted a pair of doggos, part of my promise to them was that I'd never make them fight again.

>>51642436
>Any time I'm doing a scene with other players, he feels to need to loudly announce what his character is thinking/doing (even if they aren't anywhere near the situation at hand)
Absolutely unacceptable.
Tell him, in no crass words, that when the GM is speaking, he DOESN'T.
It is a that guy habit to interject for attention, and you need to let him know it will not be tolerated.

>>51637196
The alchemist artificer in 5e is so retarded, it feels like a shitty homebrew class made by someone who never played D&D but read the PHB once.

>>51642436
It doesn't sound THAT bad to me. In fact, the fact that he is into the RP thingy shows that he is genuine. I don't think he has ADHD, he most likely is socially awkward and overcompensating by trying to steal the spotlight.
Tell him that he is not the MC of the story and that he is not more important than the other players. Tell him also that reacting when it doesn't concern him adds absolutely nothing to the game and actually bothers you because it makes player interactions less fluid, and that he should only react or add something when directly spoken to.

>>51642812
>Player shows investment in the element of the world
>Invests actual resources
>"uhhhh no you can't, it's not in the RUUUURS"

I feel you, anon.
D&D-only GMs are the worst.

>>51642702
Holy shit, this. If you want a pet just fucking buy one, don't waste our time trying to tame wolves or some shit.

>>51642812
That DM is shit at improvising a decent explanation.

>Despite your best efforts, you are unable to tame the wolves. Their past experiences have made them too distrustful.

>>51638262
What anon was saying is that caffeine doesn't just help those with ADHD focus, it helps anyone who takes it in reasonable amounts, and in this context 'reasonable' goes at least as high as four cups a day. FYI the 'caffeine crash' as we know it doesn't exist. When the effects of caffeine start to wear off, you just return to your normal state of wakefullness. You don't suddenly have to pay off some sort of caffeine debt.

>>51642941
>Just press the button labeled 'Buy wolf' and spend the necessary fictional resources instead of incorporating your character and the world into a narrative
Absolutely plebeian.

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>>51636861
>Play a game set in Fantasy Not!Japan
>Player creates a character native to the region
>Calls it "Xiang Lingxin" or something similar

>>51642997
MAXIMUM DISHONOR

>>51642997
>Turns out fantasy japan has conquered fantasy china long ago
>Character is born to a second class of citizens and must conceal his identity
>Wants to liberate his people and kill the emperor
Instant character motivation and plot hook?

>>51643065
Character was already revealed to be in the samurai caste via dice rolls and tables before the name was thought up.

Coincidentally
>People insisting on rolling for stats
The fuck am I going to do with that 3...

>evil campaign centered around guerrilla style raiding
>player makes a neutral bard who is constantly getting rump ruined when the other players do shit like execute prisoners after interrogation
>after a post game chat player agrees it's not working
>that players solution is to have their character be in perpetual denial
>Start a new campaign after old one ends
>tell everyone that this is a campaign for altruistic characters that will be heavy on dealing with NPCs
>same player makes a chaotic edgy sorcerer

The first time that player danced with a corpse in the new campaign me and the party face exchanged a "where the fuck was this in the last one?" look

>>51637196
That doesn't even break roleplay if it literally does disappear in 6 seconds after creating a potion. That would be a mechanic that exists within the game world as real as gravity, retard.

>>51643126
>Character was already revealed to be in the samurai caste

If countries really integrated over the years, it's not that implausible. Probably took lots of years and lots of liberal interpretation of the law, though.

Alternatively he could be son of a small-time loyalist who is okay with how things are now and fully understands what will happen to him if these damn revolutionaries DO liberate the people.

>that one player who tries to squeeze extra wealth out of every possible situation

For fuck sake you are adding an extra ten minutes to every npc discussion just so you can get told to fuck off

>>51640340
"if you try to use the metal dice, the roll critfails."

>>51638082
Ah shit. We have one guy who fidgets with his dice constantly to the point he'll drop them onto the floor 3-4 times a session. Drives me nuts.

>plays self-inserts
>in every game
>always tweaked and wind up totally different a quarter of the way through
>fun to play with
>but also always starts as just their rl self adapted to that setting

>>51643558
Write/play what you know.
If it ends up being fun to play with, why complain?

>>51642997
SHAMFUR DISPRAY

>>51638311
>Friend brings dog to session
>It periodically drops silent killers for four hours
>We're laughing but also a little disgusted
>Owner keep apologising and saying it not normal
>We give them both shit for it
>Session almost over, GM is giggling with evil
>We guess so terrible twist is coming
>GM collapses into giggles and confesses
>"I was me boys, it was all me."
>He's been killing us since 2 O'clock and letting the dog take the blame

I'm sorry Colin, we're all sorry.

>>51638003
Well, one thing we know for sure - this guy sure doesn't need any more coffee.

>>51636861

>regular weekly group
>we usually play Pathfinder
>sometimes when I GM I'll run a different system, like Eclipse Phase or Gumshoe or Delta Green
>the first time I did this, fully half of the group silently failed to show up despite expressing interest
>I hand out play aides and rulebooks weeks in advance, and make it clear that they should email me if they have questions or need me to walk them through character generation
>every single fucking time, none of them bothered to do chargen, or even print off character sheets
>tl;dr every time we switch systems away from D&D we spend the first half of the session doing character generation instead of playing

>>51644228
It's a good idea to make characters together anyway. Gives you a chance to get everyone on the same page.

>>51644228
>>51644280
My usual thoughts on this are "everybody has each others' email address and some form of IM messaging, can't we get this out of the way before play starts?"
>no, I'm too busy
Motherfuckers I have a SO too, I work 50+ hours every week - and I don't mean sitting at a desk pretending to be busy for half of it - and yet I still manage to find time to prepare for and run at least two different RPGs most weeks. If I can find the time to do that, you cunts can find the time to do chargen.

>>51644327
You have at least some level of familiarity withthe system, they want fun, not homework

>>51640340
Or they can bring a dice tower or a dice tray

I have some metal d6s that I like to use me through my tower.

My buddy has me as guest with his friend's game who DMs, the DM is chill but the people he's got in there are actually horrible at least these two that we'll call tweedle dee and tweedle dum who are brothers.

Dee will do this thing every time he's excited, he'll slap his cheeks and then pull them down which is fucking weird, while Dum will belch all the fucking time and when asked to stop says "I'm roleplaying" and then generally after the session we grab a bite to eat given there's a burger place around the corner, it's not amazing but it's still a restaurant where every time they argue about tipping and how they shouldn't have to, with the first time not knowing how to work a fucking receipt. They're both fucking 28 by the way.

>>51644572
>Dee will do this thing every time he's excited, he'll slap his cheeks and then pull them down which is fucking weird, while Dum will belch all the fucking time and when asked to stop says "I'm roleplaying"
Autism?

>>51644601
Yeah they're both full fucking blown

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Almost my entire group at our FLGS is like that in one way or another. The fact that they only know how to play Pathfinder and Vampire: the Masquerade doesn't help.
>DM has no idea what CR is and sets up occasionally unfair spur-of-the-moment encounters
>one guy spends much of his time sleeping through the session because his roommates (who also play in our group) won't give him a chance to sleep like a normal human being
>another is really impatient and demands PROGRESS ONLY NO SIDEQUESTS FINAL DESTINATION; also has a stammer/stutter but that's a medical problem
>another is a high-schooler with an /s4s/-tier sense of humor that thinks random cursing and le epic maymays are inherently funny; not terribly attentive either
The only really unbearable player I have to deal with is almost incapable of playing a non-evil character and he munchkins the fuck out of Stealth, Disguise, and Bluff AND takes classes and abilities that disguise his alignment. He never gets involved in anything unless it's to his benefit or the party gets hurt (or both) and there's nothing that anyone can do about it.
As for me, I'm kind of a bore/stick in the mud. I play mellow and aloof characters (usually NG or TN ranged martials) that contribute when necessary but rarely take the lead. Serves me right for playing human-scale characters in high-power campaigns.

>>51636944
A totally serious character in a campy can be even funnier than a gimmicky one if done right.

>>51638082
Start making the ones that fall off the table nat 1's

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>first time dming, gets really popular in my circles and I figure the best way to handle all the people is to do opposed "versus" groups in the campaign
>goes absolutely awful with the "Evil" group devolving into betrayals and cluster-fucking, and the "Good" group arguably being more evil
>3. F U C K I N G. YEARS LATER.
>Small group, same people who I genuinely enjoyed playing with from the older sessions.
>They STILL spend most of their downtime making deterrence weapons and plotting how to best kill each other "in case they do something shady"
>I have publicly vowed never to run a VS campaign ever again or allow blatantly conflicting characters
>No one has ever genuinely tried to be an asshat unless there was an obvious in-session reason to do so
>Every week I still get 4 messages about going to black markets looking for motion detecting land mines

I know Twitch is my favorite AGP character, but I never intended for this.
I just want them to spend downtime building sweet bases and homes, or talking to the lonely bar maid and her grand-parents

2nd
>Forever DM, some players show interest in freeing me from my shackles
>One guy starts with setting first and refuses to start until its perfect
>He gives up a quarter way every time
>They're pretty good and I'd run them myself if he wouldn't go autist on me for changing things because they aren't 100% historically accurate

I just wanna' party and have a jolly ole' time...

>>51638699
fuck off i have adhd and i never have to tell people i do, especially not to justify acting an ass

>>51638699
I imagine it's much like someone who is vision impaired and seeing people wear glasses just because they think they look good.

>>51645651
But wearing glasses would be more socially accepted, no?
>as someone who wears glasses idgaf

>have friend who constantly wants to start new games
>they are always some sort of Fucking massive railroad, half baked, or just dumb
(Example: one game was just us picking up quests from a quest board, literal name for it and all, to kill 10 goblins, ect)
>He's one of my best friends and get a so excited about it, hard to say no
>we have had well over 10 games
>not a single one lasted more then 2 sessions
>everyone of them was a zombie apocalypse

I mean, it's fun because I try to back him up and lead by example and try to jump over plot holes, but it's kind of sad. I say this now because he just sent a text asking if I want to join his new zombie survival game, set in dnd universe.

>>51636861
>Always retroactively wrong in any previous argument, especially when right.
>We had to correct you about this two weeks ago too
>No, I was the one who spent twenty mi... you know what, forget it.

>>51644388
What about the GM's fun? Personally I have more fun playing the game than twiddling my thumbs for two hours while players flip back and forth through the rulebook.

I guess what I have a problem with is the idea that the GM is solely responsible for the enjoyment of the players.

>I don't need to prepare a character sheet or a character concept or ever glance at a rulebook; I can just show up every week and the GM will entertain me for free!

If the GM is taking time out of their week to prepare, I really don't think is that big an ask for the players to prepare a little themselves. I certainly put the work in when I'm a player in someone else's game.

>Take trader/merchant skills
>Suddenly we start getting less loot or sometimes even no loot
On the one hand I can understand that the party having access to much better weapons and armor would make combat easier
On the other hand my GM could have just asked me not to take those skills

>>51642702
I solved this by letting my party get a bunch of wolves and making the characters roll for each individual wolf, and then killing all the wolves with a dragon breath. I'd feel bad if I had planned that, but they decided to run into a dragon fight i warned them against several times, and still managed to down it in the end.

Relevant to OP: I have a player who keeps interjecting even when he obviously has nothing to say. He's otherwise great to hang out with, but when we're playing he'll make a random joke or reference every few minutes, and otherwise hardly play.

>>51636861
Work commitments means one of my players has to leave early every other week. Literally every other week. That's annoying.
Another player sometimes is too busy with work to show up on time, sometimes at all. That's annoying.
With their powers combined, that's REALLY annoying.

I'm trying to get a Shadowrun game running. One player has two characters complete and is coming up with more.
Another is flipping between 'yes' and 'maybe', and needs handholding to get a character built, but is rarely around at the same time I am due to differing work schedules, sleep schedules, and timezones.
Another, the one whose idea the entire campaign WAS, has delayed the start of the campaign for nearly six months now by being incapable of dealing with complex rules. That's annoying, but kind of justified because the meds that keep them sane stopped working, and they're having trouble finding ones that DO work. And now they don't even show up to chat any longer, because the crazy has gotten so bad and is feeding off the worries about the meds.
They are literally making themselves crazier by worrying about being crazy.

I got hit in the head REALLY hard at work last year. My memory was shit before, but now it's fucking terrible because minor brain damage. I'm meant to be making a character for another campaign, but keep forgetting about it. Completely forgetting about it.
> Have you made that character yet?
> What character?
> ...
> OH SHIT I FORGOT AGAIN
> Resolve to do it
> Forget again
> So, anon, made that character yet?

>>51645149
So, Batman-esque straight man?

>>51647098
Brain damage aside, this I don't mind at all.

> hey did you make a character?
> oh shit I forgot, sorry anon

What I take issue with is

> hey anon did you make a character?
> nope ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯

>>51636861
Same condition except caffeine don't do shit to me and I drink soda all the time, I think enough to equal coffee unless I'm retarded and coffee has way more caffeine than I thought it did
Energy drinks and shit hardly affect me as well
Also
>playing dark heresy
>unsanctioned psyker with split personality
>friends character is sanctioned
>basically planning my characters future for me
>shit like becoming her mentor and sending her off to the black ships after campaign is over
>"hey man you should prolly take that one power cause it'd make sense for you to have that since you don't have all that much training"
>shitty little starter fire power that I'll prolly never use
>tell him I'd rather something else
>well it won't be my fault if something bad happens to her
Fuck I like him and all but damn she ain't your character you already have 2 dammit

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>>51641486

>>51642939
Tell me about it. I had a GM tell me I was trying to cheat because I said the wizard I was playing was trying to move quietly.

"No, Anon, only Thieves can move silently"
>Okay, then I just try to make as little noise as possible
"No, that's CHEATING, you're trying to trick me into letting you move silently, it's not going to work!"
>Dude, it's just roleplaying
"I will take your character if you don't stop"
>FINE! I WALK THROUGH THE FOREST STOMPING MY FEET AND SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS FOR NO REASON BECAUSE DOING OTHERWISE IS CONSIDERED CHEATING!

>>51642615
I think it's his desire to have the spotlight, coupled by ADHD lowering his inhibitions (he really enjoys roleplaying and gets pretty hyperactive during sessions). The rest of the group has a similar opinion (though they have less tolerance for it that I do, since they're the ones he attempting to get the spotlight from).

>>51642853
He doesn't interrupt anyone, which is why I don't classify it as That Guy behavior. It's just that, whenever it's his turn to speak, he mentions something like "My character is in their room, training and thinking about X" or some shit like that, even when they've already mentioned this or it has no relevance to what's going on ATM. Again, not disruptive, but not exactly good RP behavior either.

>>51642889
He legit does have ADHD, but I'll try this. Thanks for the advice.

>>51647586
I fucking hate Rules-As-Written-Only GMs. They are a bane of our society.

>>51648932
They sound extremely painful.

>>51636861
Shit's not relevant to his life.

>>51638003
Who hurt you, anon?

>>51637073
I have a full time job with a shit commute, a gf, and have plenty of other responsibilities, just moved to a new city & state, etc.

And yet I have plenty of time to prepare, and also plan character advancement ahead of time. Making adjustments when needed.
There is no excuse.


Hell, I know someone who works two jobs, 60-70hrs/week, and still makes time.

>>51638262
Caffeine just makes me sleepy.

No, I don't have ADHD or ADD.

Not everyone has the same body chemistry. The end.

>>51647257
Honestly, playing Dark Knight Returns Batman in an Adam West Batman setting can be pretty humorous.

>>51642997
>not creating a tongue-in-cheek, spear-wielding chinaman named Dong Long
Was a good campaign, wish we had finished it because I loved getting into character with him

>>51636944
you need a straight man to balance all the goofballs

>>51647586
I have a Monk player in this campaign and he's pretty much always trying to give himself bonuses and advantages at every opportunity.

>"I hit him and roll sneak attack damage"
>you're not a Rogue, and not even hidden. No
>"BUT I MOVED BEHIND HIM WOW"

>"I punch the bandit in the neck and collapse his throat"
>rolls crit dice

>did you roll your dice properly?
>"Yeah I put daggers in my hands so now I do an extra 1d4 unarmed"

>noble we're guarding dies in an ambush
>monk immediately says he's looting
>dick ass thief ends up reviving the noble with his only Potion
>monk has most gold and items because he loots first and steals
>if he gets caught it's "just a prank bro" I'm a good character

>>51649969
You're a big boy.

>>51648932
If I pull off that fedora will you cry?

>>51643126
>People insisting on rolling for stats
>Ask if they can switch to point buy when their rolls are "too low"

>>51636861
The only thing that really gets to me, so far, in a minor but persistent way is people fiddling with their phones during the session. I know they may be waiting for some kind of important message but it still irks me.

>>51637946
It's the little things...

>>51650552
I laughed to that.

I have a player who has obnoxiously asked me to play with our group because he heard about my good reputation as foreverGM in town who does long lv3-to-20 campaigns with convoluted plots, which he said he likes and doesn't get often.
During the game he always maintains the least possible immersion, making a few corny lines before joking about it or how the NPCs react to him as if it was a group of limited, scripted AIs in a vidya when it's clear that I invested time in making complex backgrounds to allow for more intricate stories. His interaction with NPCs is always exploitative, never purely interactive. Other player make friends, he treats them as gear-vending machines.
He also plays as a munchkin-murderhobo and always brags about the 'builds' he makes.
Consider that he does this and can be annoying, but not to the point of being a toxic player. He isn't harmful to the game or to the other players in general.

I usually ask players for feedback in order to see if anything is going well or if it's a good campaign, if they feel too much railroading at times, and then tell them how I felt about their interpretation. Usually I ask them to step up their game and increase and flavor their characters' personalities and objectives more and more as the story goes. It's my belief that I'm not the only one telling a story so when they are not pulling their weight I tend to point out to a player if he's just sheepishly following the story. It's not complex if you just watch the NPCs blabber between themselves as you watch. So when I told him in different occasions that I felt he could improve his game, he felt accused as if I didn't do the same with the others when they occasionally did.

I understand that some people just want to play without a care, so I have the logical doubt.
Is he a That Guy, or am I a bad GM?

>>51645324
>Forever DM
Sort of have the opposite problem in my group. 4 different people who all want to GM, in a group of about 6-8 players.

>>51642436
Does he ACTUALLY have ADHD? If so, get him some coffee or other source of caffiene. My dad has ADHD (diagnosed) and before he got medication for it coffee chilled him the fuck out.

>>51636944

That's not as bad as the reverse. A straight man doesn't grimdark up a fun campaign, but a goofy character will definitely derp the shit out of a serious campaign.

>>51652361
Any type of stimulant will work, really. The medication my dad's prescribed is basically medical-grade meth.

>>51643177

This. I have no idea what the other anon is sperging about, other than the rule being wrong.

>>51643630
>fun

You can do better than that. Raise your game.

>>51650707
Yeah, that's what I tend to think of, when I hear stories like that.

>>51636861
>Players go out to do something
>Take eight billion of their NPC friends with them

Please stop.

>>51636895
It's because you're young. At your age you should be able to drink a pot of coffee and immediately go to sleep.

Give it time and it'll effect you like everyone else.

>>51651010
Nah, he's human garbage. You're good.

>>51650701
this guy gets it. comedy is absurdity in a world of normality or normality in a world of absurdity. you need something to contrast it to or it seems normal.

>>51650361
makes me sleepy too. fuck knows why. the science of it is that it attaches to adenosine receptors in the brain so that adenosine (chemical that makes you sleepy) can't attach to it.

>>51645518
but op wasn't acting like an ass. he was just drinking coffee.

>>51650286
kek'd hard, thanks anon

>>51653196
30s not that young.

I suspect it's the ADD

Pretty much every one of my five players do something that's annoying.

>one tries to make Batman characters.
But not effective Batman. Like, "I have to have an ability/power/effect for every situation and if I dont, my character is completely useless and I both about it." Like, damn, your character can have flaws and doesn't need to hyper- excell in EVERYTHING.

>Two loves to make wacky characters with some sort of out of universe or really dumb flaw.
His current character is so out of touch with reality, he doesn't know what underpants are. I shit you not. His next character will be mute, and I hate mute characters for a number of reasons.

>Three can't deal with character death in any way, shape or form.
He's killed two games outright because I killed two NPCs he loved.

>Four writes 35 page backstories for every character. EVERY ONE.
It wouldn't be so bad, because she's a decent writer, but your level 2 Druid should not have saved the world from Gormanacke the Red Dragon Sorcerer and his evil plan to take over the world.

>Five is a our newest player.
He's been with us for about 5 months and has turned out to be a total bro. Makes great, compelling chatacters, actively helps advance the plot, pursues character- driven side stories while not hogging the spotlight.

Overall not a terrible group. I'm sure I have my own annoying quirks. (Like being too hard- line on rules when it gets in the way of story) but we've played every week for about six years. Pretty okay in my opinion.

>>51654059
Three is pure trash. Make him stop or boot him, you'll tank anon later.

>>51636861
ADHDfag here too
For me caffeine is the worst experience ever when I'm taking my meds, it feels like my organs are rattling inside me but I'm not shaking or anything. Anyone else get this?
Also, I suggest asking your doctor for 3-hour meds if you haven't already, they really help.

>>51642371
Kill yourself.

>>51636895
Not that Anon, but it took me AGES to realize that my constant sensation of pressure in the back of my eyes came from drinking ~50oz. of over-steeped (12-15min) tea per day.

>>51638003
Caffeine is bad for concentration.

>>51658149
Wait. Why would that happen?

This is shit I tend to do that I know annoys my group

>Act like a smarmy wannabe womanizer
>Never actually expect my character to achieve much but Group makes fun of me both OOC and IC

>While not playing gimmick characters, I do always end up playing different characters from the group (Laid back Inquisitor in a party full of hard edge super serious players, Poor guy in a party of well maintained characters, Dorky guy in a party of super spies)
>Almost always regret it by the time the campaign gets moving

>Can't seem to RP anything other than Comedic relief, asshole characters, or smug characters for a long period of time

>if I feel the plot is moving too slowly, or feels to railroady, try to slightly derail it by trying to make recurring NPC's out of anyone I can find

these are some of the reasons I stay as a forever GM, I actually prefer being a GM more than a player, since I don't have any of those faults when playing GM

>>51643219
THIS
This fucking kills me
Looting every single thing an enemy has on them and getting annoyed if I don't give individual values for each thing which they then cross-reference against the book

>>51658403
One time we were in a dungeon with gold doors and statues.

Or motivation was money.

Stripped the dungeon bare, transported it back and sold it all.

But, I mean, gold doors. Of course I take them.

>>51658421
Gold sound like a shitty material to make doors out of.

Gilded doors sound like a more functional alternative. In that case, though, I'd still scrape off the gold leaf and leave whatever's underneath behind. Probably wouldn't get all that much gold off it, though. Gold leaf is thin as fuck.

>>51658498
Yeah no. Solid gold. Took many trips.

>>51658579
At least it's easy to work with, I guess. Come to think of it, our DM presented us with something similar once.

We've entered a large, domed room. We dispatch some enemies, who congregating around a large, solid gold throne in the middle of the room.
The DM begins describing the room's exit and the hallway beyond. He was kind of shit at either improvising and thinking ahead, so he hadn't expected us to want to do anything with the throne. It was just a bit of dungeon dressing in his eyes.
> "Hold up, DM. There's no way we're leaving that much gold here."
> -"Uh... it's bolted to the floor. It won't budge if you try to move it."
> "We'll break the bolts. We have hammers and other heavy weapons, and we're pretty strong."
> -"Unbreakable bolts."
> "Fine. It's still gold. We'll just melt it down with a heat spell."
> - "It melts, but it retains its shape."
> "Fine. We smash it with something to try and scatter the gold."
> -"The droplets float back into the throne."
> "FINE. We solidify them into nuggets using a cold spell."
> -"FUCK IT, TAKE THE FUCKING GOLD IF YOU WANT IT SO MUCH. I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON IT. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST EXPLORE MY DUNGEON?!"

>>51658679
Lesson learned. I bet the next fancy chair isn't solid gold.

>>51636861

>player drinks foul-smelling beverage all the time
>full of caffeine
>he's going to be autistic as fuck after drinking it
>query it, hoping they might re-think their decision
>"nah, I got this special snowflake disease that excuses a lack of willpower to concentrate"
>spend the rest of the game having to deal with the stink of coffee and a player obsessing over inconsequential details

I just hate that this guy does this every time, without thinking about everyone else.

>>51658703
Or has an insti-kill trap attached.

>>51658703
>>51658780
Reminds me of another thing this DM wouldn't let us take from a dungeon.

Half of the party just managed to get through a trapped room, in which the halves of the floor slam together like a closing book. He describes it as powered by massive metal springs.
> "We try to disable the trap by smashing the trigger tile, so the rest of us can pass through."
> -"Uh, well, the floor breaks and the springs start bouncing around at high speed! BOING BOING BOING BOING."
He jerked his hand around erratically to indicate the motion.
> "Right... I close the door, leaving just enough room to poke my polearm in. I try to slow the springs down and stop them."
> -"It doesn't work! They keep bouncing! BOING BOING BOING. You take damage!"
> "Fine. I close the door and wait. They have to run out of steam at some point."
> -"They don't seem to."
> "We wait a fucking hour."
> -"Still going strong. BOING BOING BOING."
> "Now we're not leaving here without those springs. The magic powering something this physics-breakingly ridiculous has to be incredible."
> -"Guuuuys... just go on and follow the corridor."
> "No. You've split us up and thrown something that shouldn't exist in our face. We're not leaving until we're reunited and we've looted those things."
> -"Fine! You hear a literal army of orcs and trolls approach. In fact, they're already in sight, since you've focused on those goddamn springs so much."
> "What? This is bullshit. How many?"
> -"Dozens! Sixty!"

>>>

>>51658841
>>>

> "We're in a corridor that's 25 feet wide at best. Draw it out and put some tokens down, I want to see this."
True to his initial description, the DM draws a narrow corridor and plonks down a small army's worth of enemy tokens, all arranged in neat rows, shoulder-to-shoulder.
> -"There! You should have just kept exploring the dungeon!"
> "Right. Because we wouldn't have run into these anyway. Or are you admitting you just made these up to spite us?"
> -"No! I had this planned out!"
> "Fine. It doesn't matter anyway, the mage is on this side."
> -"What?"
The mage quickly conjures a thick earthen wall with a narrow arrow slit in front of the orcs. This offers breathing room. The mage then takes his time conjuring another thick earthen wall behind the orcs and, finally, conjures some walls of intense heat in between the earthen walls. Everything takes damage for several rounds and turns into a charred heap.
> "How many did you say there were? Sixty? Sounds like we're gaining a level today."
>The DM goes quiet. His face is getting redder by the second and there are honest-to-god tears in his eyes.
> -"FINE. HAVE YOUR XP. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS TREAT ME LIKE THIS?!"
> "We're just responding sensibly to the situation you've described, as the DM."
>The DM mutters some objections.
> "And we still want those springs."

If I recall correctly, we ended that particular session there.

>>51654059
number four I sometimes do the whole Powerlevels thing, but I always make sure there's a reason they're now a level 1. Like my most recent paladin of conquest united the human kingdoms and almost succeeded at breaking the elves, but then in the midst of battle he was killed. Became a revenant in order to continue his mission but was extremely weakened. Then he was sealed away in a runed iron box for 500 years, and now his own kingdom has forgotten him.

>>51658257
Caffeine causes headaches.

>>51658761
Someone trying to swing blame back around by telling a shittily thought out version of the OP's story appears every time a "that guy" thread appears. It's like a meme at this point.

>>51658878

>muh autism got triggered

Shh, now, drink your coffee.

>>51658761
Oh darn, it's almost like stimulants are used as medication.

>>51658780
What's the point of instakill traps?

Or rather, what's the point of anything that kills a character outright with only one or two chances to avoid it?

How does this get a player invested in the game?

>>51653196
Aside from the ADHD thing, some people are just resistant to stimulants. This is the case with both my father and myself. He drinks a lot of coffee because he likes the taste, it's his usual go to when he feels he's had enough alcohol for the night. Which means that coffee is usually the last thing he drinks when he goes out, and yet a couple of hours later he'll be in bed sound asleep no problem. As for me, i don't like coffee much, and it doesn't seem to do jack shit for me either. Same deal for tea, coke, or any other caffeinated drink. Also i was once prescribed amphetamines and they worked great for like two days, poorly for another day or two, and then not at all after that. So even stuff way stronger than coffee just doesn't work for very long before i build complete tolerance towards it.

Pretty sure it's some kind of genetic predisposition, as i doubt it's coincidence both my dad and me are that way. Oddly enough though, nicotine seems to work fine on on us both. He's a life-long smoker, and i've dabbled enough to know it works on me too. Stopped giving him shit about not quitting after that. It's easy to quit if you only smoke like once a week, but the cravings still take blood forever to go away. It must be hell to stop once you get into the habit of doing it daily.

>>51658679

That entire fucking scenario could've been resolved with "It's actually an iron throne covered in gold leaf." Have you ever had any similar situations? The last line makes me think that he's that kind of guy.

>>51658848
>there are honest-to-god tears in his eyes
Why do you play with this kind of person?

>>51659303
presumably because he led with "solid gold throne" for flavour, not thinking his players were that avaricious.

>>51659368
>Here's a big thing of solid gold that will solve all you financial woes for life
>It belongs to 'the enemy', so there will be no social repercussions if you take it
Can you really call it avarice at this point?

>>51659429
I suppose not. Though there's a reason some things are bolted down. Usually because the owners don't want them to be moved.

>>51659086
Go ask OSR general, because I don't fucking know.

>>51658848
What a miserable autist. I can only imagine the seizure he'd have if someone rearranged his room.

>>51659626
He kept a 'shit list' of players and/or characters who had offended him. He would then attempt to get their characters killed or taken out of the game in retaliation.

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>>51643940

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>make a character that wants to jump another character's bones
>she propositions him, he accepts
>think "ok cool we'll fade to black"
>nope, he wants to actually write the whole thing
I mean it was fun enough I guess but man it took a long time

>>51659086
Traps back in the day were what they were because the notion of hitpoints were different.
If you were hit in a vital area, you bled out and died, or took massive trauma and died, because hitpoints represented luck/stamina/skill at turning a killing blow into a near miss, and you don't "read" a trap or "predict the trajectory" of a trap.
What it did breed was caution and propped up the pulp nature of the game style. You didn't go into crypts and dungeons unless you were crazy, desperate or good, and you have an overblown view of the lethality of the game.

>>51645167
Do you allow rerolls if they catch them in mid air? Sometime that shit can be pretty funny.

>>51638329
>>51638574

Why is this so unbelievable? I'm not the anon you were replying to, but I've been running around 50 sessions a year since the early 90's (most years I miss one week when I visit my family and another one for icy weather).

>>51642952
>>51638003

fucking liars, it doesn't help me focus. It just gives me headaches.

>>51636923
>Yeah I'm just huge and walking around
kek

>>51658679
This is not quite as stupid as the GM who sealed a vault with a solid adamantine door, but it's almost as stupid.

>>51636861

>RAW is god players

Doubly so when it hurts their own interests.

A while back, I had a game, and the PCs were invited to this city, and were watching an arena fight.

The fights were described as obvious showboating and faked, and when the "Champ" was brought out, one of the PCs asked if he could try to watch him to determine if the guy can really fight at all, or if he's just the winner in a bunch of rigged matches.

Anyway, I ultimately settled on a Sense Motive check against a DC modified by the BAB. Instant whining from a different player, because you can't do that, it's not in RAW. And it's just so, so fucking stupid.

>>51650707
sounds like he really ought to just be a rogue or something

>>51636861
Eating loud as fuck. Two of them did this. HOLY SHIT JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH CLOSED WHEN CHEWING.

>>51636861
>>widely recognized that stimulants (including caffeine) have a different effect on people with ADHD than on most people, and help them focus rather than making them wired
Oh shit, I think I have ADHD.

>>51650707
>>"BUT I MOVED BEHIND HIM WOW"
That one is legit.

>How many fucking times can you forget the same thing?

I guess she's also forgetting his ADD meds.

>>51650860
They are browsing 9gag. All of them. All the time.

>>51658897
slow claps

steps out of the shadows

Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material...

But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme.

And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive.

>>51659267
>Aside from the ADHD thing, some people are just resistant to stimulants.
True. This is also true for my gf. She used to have a borderline diagnosis, and she has always been very resistant to caffeine, alcohol, or weed. When I'm so buzzed from taking bong hits that I'm ready to eat some coconut yoghurt, put on some Electric Moon and hit the straw, she says she's starting to feel a bit light-headed. I don't think it's genetic either, because the rest of her family are nothing like that.

>>51638311
I'd say that's better than a player who will regularly and openly farts during sessions. Does he have no shame?

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>forgetting what does aoe dmg and just lobbing it into the melee
>makings puns for days
> asking me what something does instead of reading it. I don't play your fucking class.

>>51636861
The one monk who keeps talking about how much better he could be if every player in the party supported him specifically.

So. Early in the campaign, there was some unclarity regarding a rule. One of those RAW/RAI situations. I finally decided that I was going to be going by the RAI.

And yet I have one player who brings up the RAW, each time. And we all have to remind him that we all agreed it didn't work that way.

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>newbie joins our game and needs a set of dice
>offer to let him use one of my sets, he picks my favorite that I've had for years
>gut feeling doesn't want him to use those dice, but I ignore gut because I don't want to be rude
>next session he doesn't even ask to use my dice, just grabs them from the bag
>at the end of the session realize my d10 is missing

I never knew I could be so angry about the loss of a tiny piece of plastic

>>51666937
god that sucks. do you think you could order a replacement from where you got the dice set from?

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>Player asks me what a feature on their character sheet does
>They have the book right in front of them
>Turned to the exact page that describes said feature/spell/feat/whatever
>"Yeah but asking you is faster."

>Try to run Basic Fantasy RPG
>"These classes are so restrictive!"
>"Jeez, only d4 hit dice? Can't you bump that up?"
>"Huh? Only thieves can have skills? Am I reading this right?"
>Players end up wanting to houserule everything into some weird amalgamation of 5e and BFRPG
>We end up never playing

>Set up a hidden door or trap or whatever that's easily discovered
>None of them search the place despite being told there should be a hidden passageway somewhere
>Give them a prod when they go to leave, "Hey, aren't you going to search the room?"
>"Huh? You just told us there's only some beds in here."

I like my friends but goddamn sometimes I wonder what the hell they're thinking.

>>51638003
What happened, anon?

>uhm
>uh
>um
>like
>hmm

Nothing pisses me off more than these sounds during speech. Speak like a real fucking man, not like a 20-something mouthbreathing half-autist.

>>51638003
What is it like to be such a wrong-headed cunt?

>>51642702
I had this with a player of mine. It was actually kinda funny because I like describing creatures reacting to things and she found EVERYTHING cute. Including monsters. It was pretty fun.

>>51668109

now this is some prime autism here

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>>51642702
>tfw you're that player whose character does not give a single flying fuck about the welfare or survival of any animals you see

almost had our paladin start attacking me because I refused to waste lockpicks on some cages that dogs were locked up in.

>>51658761
it's a very impressive routine but unfortunately mental gymnastics are not an Olympic routine, I'm sorry Anon

>NPCs start triping all over the place when GM gets boring of combat
>literally almost every encounter ends whith NPC triping and smashing his head on the rock or some other dumb shit
>some encounters we spend just running around, with NPCs chasing us and triping every few meters

>other GM turns PCs life into hell every time when you go out of the rails
>you have to roll to see if you triped every time when you go up the stairs
>every NPC turns into homecidal asshole that will go out of his way to fuck with you

>>51669037
You mean "tripping," right? There are two p's in that.

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>>51647586
>only thieves can move silently
wrong. only fatfucks can't.
>take your character if you dont stop
i'd burn my sheet right then and there

>>51650707
>greedylooter monk
cancer. absolute cancer. sure, it's fine to go against the paradigm every once in awhile... but a greedfag monk is disgusting like a pacifist PC fighter.

>>51651010
>"hurr durr make me invested without myself investing anything"
you could be a bad GM, but it doesn't show in what you've said. I'd sass him about it.

>>51658679
>not preparing for murderhobos as a DM
it's like he wants to have a bad time

>>51658848
fuck I want players like that
even the holocaust-mage

>>51659438
>owner doesnt want his solid gold throne to be moved
yeah lets just ignore wealth and wellbeing because... uh... the dm doesn't want us taking treasure, i guess?

>>51659666
checkd

>>51659983
fade to black. roll a die. one sentence explanation. best way.

>>51667462
video games spoiled a generation of gamers
fugg. After I moved to Van, I burned most of my bridges. Haven't played tabletop in way too long. Excuse my long winded faggotry.

mfw lonely

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>TFW have ADHD
>Can't stand black coffee
>Coffee with any amount of creamer gives me stomach aches
Oh, and >>51638003 is a retard.

>>51669037
>>NPCs start triping all over the place when GM gets boring of combat
>>literally almost every encounter ends whith NPC triping and smashing his head on the rock or some other dumb shit
>>some encounters we spend just running around, with NPCs chasing us and triping every few meters
he does know that he can just have the enemies run away in fear if he gets bored of combat, right?
>>other GM turns PCs life into hell every time when you go out of the rails
>>you have to roll to see if you triped every time when you go up the stairs
>>every NPC turns into homecidal asshole that will go out of his way to fuck with you
leave that group right now holy shit

>>51659267
When you say Nicotine works fine... do you mean the buzz or just the addiction? Because I get a very noticeable nicotine buzz every time, but have no trouble going months between picking up another.

>>51643177
>>51652448
Yeah, I mean, roleplaying around the limitations of your abilities is like half the fun.

>>51637946
Yes, that is the point, venting minor annoyances. Good job noticing.

>>51643126
Roleplay it.
>Low charisma character who cannot interpret social cues at all
>Low wisdom character who doesn't realize the building he is in is on fire until he himself catches fire
>Low intelligence character is a dangerous retard
>Low constitution character is suffering from a crippling illness
>Low dexterity character has palsey
>Low strength character has muscular dystrophy
I like having an ability score of 8 or less in one area, lets me roleplay my character with weaknesses.

>>51672365
>i cant roleplay unless its on my sheet ;.;

>>51672365
I'm going with an autismal CHA 3 character. Some guy with no sense of what's appropriate and a complete inability to lie.

I figure the other players will also want to keep reminding me of how physically unattractive the character is, so I suppose I'll come up with some horrifying disfigurement too.

>>51672386
That's not the point, dickhole. It's about sensibly interpreting your stats for your roleplay.

I could roleplay an INT 3 character as someone with an engineering doctorate, but it wouldn't be decent roleplay, would it?

>>51636861

>TIE-ranids
>TEER-ranids

I don't care how you think I should say it, the first one sounds right to me. It ain't called a Hive TEErant now is it?

>>51636861
Got a sadistic, vindictive cunt of a GM who runs games occasionally. He boasts about how he is going to 'thin the herd' before a game starts, then laughs and calls you an idiot after after forcing you to fight his one shotting monsters that NEVER miss. He sets up the world so all the characters become crap at what they do and can't advance their skills, ie pistoliers never find anyone that sell gunpowder, apprentice wizards never find anyone who can teach them spells - he then takes the piss for the players having crap characters. He reads the campaign directly from the module like a script, and if you even dare to suggest anything that isnt on the page, or fail to guess what the next plot twist is, bad things happen. Fuck that cunt.

>>51636861
GM who's campaign consists of just a long series of characteristic tests and game mechanics. No roleplaying or descriptions at all, just "you come to a bridge, roll agility not to fall to your deaths." "You see a bandit, he attacks, take 6 damage" "So you want to spend an evening carousing and partying in a pub. Roll Toughness or end up being sick".

>>51636861
Playing a character that gains a new skill when leveling up. You ask for the rulebook to read about what it does. One player 'jokingly' mutters "metagaming", EVERY FUCKING TIME.

>>51647293
I feel like a dick because I've been forgetting for MONTHS now, is all.
Although the GM has shit memory as well. We met up again the other day after a few weeks, and decided that one of us was going to lend the other something. We can't remember what.

>>51653145
Yeah, I've had to tell people they can't take the leadership feat before
>"the party already consists of 8 PCs, 2 familiars, an animal companion, and a paladin mount, I don't need party npcs slowing down combat"
Don't at like I'm the bad guy because I'm not interested in you hauling around some kind of combat concubine on top of that.

>>51658878
>It's like a meme at this point.
it has been a meme for years you cunt

>wishy-washy sort of guy
>Class allows at least one spell change per level
>they do it as much as possible
here's the secret
it was me, I didn't realize how little I would end up using Unseen Servant and the like

>>51636861
There's this guy, slightly annoying but otherwise a fun person to game with
>Uhs once or twice per turn while looking up stuff instead of doing so while others take theirs/deciding what to do and then speaking
>Forgets parts of his class toolkit, sometimes needs to be reminded to do so.

I feel I irk my party. My running problem is I'll design a character idea, and then completely change it up 2-3 sessions in. It's never intentional but it's been pointed out to me a few times now. I've come to the conclusion that I can't design a static character, and any sort of story I throw just slides off and feels unnaturally pasted on to me. Once in game? It's the back and forth banter that lets me develop my character. It worries me as I don't wanna annoy my group as I love them.

>>51674013
i have a solution for your issue. design the character idea, but give your character only the bare bones description. leave it "mysterious". but rather than going for the mysterious aspect, you're just leaving it blank for character development. don't restrict your character as much.

>>51636861
My friend has been playing Pathfinder for 4 years with us and consistently makes gross misinterpretations of the rules.

He played a magus this time and hooooboy, did he not fucking understand half the things in the class. I was the GM, and I know a lot of people will say that it's my job to know what my players are doing, but dammit, after 4 years, I didn't think I needed to double check my players when they brought forth a complicated build. I thought it meant they knew what they were doing.

>>51674154
>I didn't think I needed to double check my players

>My friend has been playing Pathfinder for 4 years with us and consistently makes gross misinterpretations of the rules.
>consistently

You're not paying attention to your own observations.

>>51672913
But consider the pronunciation of the word tyranny, its like teer-ranny, and tyranny and tyranids are pretty similar words. I'm not GW or anything, but it makes sense to me why it would be pronounced TEER-ranids. Welcome to the English language

>>51674513
Did you just forget the wordt tyrant exists?

>>51674513
>>51674568
No I didn't feel it was necessary to mention that Tyrant is Tie-rant. As I said, the english language is weird, and I've never hear someone say TIE-ranny, so I've always pronounced Tyranids as TEER-anids. But that's just me.

>widely recognized that stimulants (including caffeine) have a different effect on people with ADHD than on most people, and help them focus rather than making them wired
Are there really studies confirming that?

Two people suck at english and cant do most stuff like buying and levelling without help

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>>51636861
Everything about my friends is annoying to the point of being unbearable. I can only take being around them for about 5 minutes before I get irritated.

>>51674974
why stay friends then?

>>51674974
They're good people deep down, and occasionally they have interesting gaming ideas. I just wish I could meet them only for brief conversation and be done with it.

>>51674790
Yes. That's why doctors prescribe stimulants such as Ritalin to people with ADHD.

>>51658088
But he is right, maybe not for "athletes" part, but in general notion.
Yes, there were incoherent studies on seemingly similar subject in Europe back in the day, but it became trendy in USA after WW2 and kickstarted from there. Why? Because it is the perfect "kitsch" for post-modern community with million dollar pharmaceutical industry.
It's not your shitty parenting, simply genetic disorder. Your kid is not lazy, it is the diagnosis. You aren't dumb, just impaired. Get our product and it will fix you! It works so well today, even better with "millennials", since it has integrated "special snowflake" value and caters to their self-entitlement.
Clinical trials and hoards of papers full of inconclusive results, yet it doesn't stop people from stuffing their children with meds since early childhood.

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>>51636861
>chews with his mouth open
>doesn't stop after we tell him
>food is now not allowed on the table

>>51636861

Players who whine whenever their enemies employ sensible tactics.


>Playing a old system called dragonquest
>Attacking a fort with a wizard, that they know about.
>PCs love to use crossbows, they're nasty, powerful weapons, and have enough skills and stealth and other tricks to be good at popping bolts at people, ducking back into hiding to reload, and then firing again.
>Down some of the wizard's guards with these tactics, but don't get a good shot at the key baddie.
>Wizard has a spell called "Warp wood", which, if it succeeds (spells don't automatically work in the system) allows the caster to twist a piece of wood of dimensions of 2" by 2" by 1' in any manner he chooses.
>Wizard starts systematically wrecking their crossbows.
>Players start whining.

>>51674568
Tie-ranids sounds much more awkward. Only full autismos pronounce it that way.

>>51643538
I do this. I try to spin d20's like spinning tops while the other players are talking. I keep a running tally of how many I've dropped off the table in a session.

I'm the GM

>>51638329
> DM once every two weeks
> Play at least twice a week
> Beg people to chill with the games because we live together and I have to get something done

One DM keeps resetting the campaign at level 1 almost every other week, though, so it's not all milk and honey. I run 5e and Black Hack, reset DM runs 5e, one runs a homebrew I wrote a while back, and one's doing Edge of the Empire.

>>51675456

Call me stupid, but I'm not getting it.

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>>51636861

Bestie's fiance always likes to play some kind of shit-stirrer. The for the lulz crap, I can tell it's fun for him, and I don't want to be hard on him because he tries to meet us halfway, really participates, and is a genuinely decent guy, but oh man, he and I are just so not on the same page about the appropriate level of comedy for a tabletop RPG.

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>>51636861
>>51677890

Also, when we let said fiance's brother GM fantasy games, he gives everybody these annoying pseudo-British accents. This isn't the fucking BBC, this isn't set in England, and everyone here is an American. It just comes off as pretentious and obnoxious.

I double deckered our DM because I got bad rolls.

>>51642702

No Fuck You

>Play a campaign where a circle of druids tames wild forest animals to keep them away from a major city
>Campaign takes us to find a McGuffin that helps them control said animals
>BBEG sends minions to control the McGuffin
>Kill minions, but not before control of animals is lost and animals/minions slaughter druids
>Recover McGuffin
>Find cages filled with somehow docile animals
>Use McGuffin to get tiger for Fighter, brown bear for Paladin, two wolves for Mage, one badger for gnome cleric
>Remaining animals go on rampage in town
>Get hired by mayor to put down rampaging animals
>Put down ~15 animals, but manage to get 3 more bears in the process with McGuffin
>Reward for saving town is pile of gold and reign over any animals left inside the city
>turns out to be about 15 wolves, bears, and tigers who return to docility when the McGuffin was near
>Walk out of city with about 22 animals under control

Best campaign ever. We eventually sold most of the animals to a zoo in another major city but kept 4 wolves for the mage so he could have a pack, the badger for the gnome, and the first tiger for the fighter because he had named it after his character's mother

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>tfw you're an autistic person and there's another autistic at the table who just never fucking learned to behave, never spent years doing behaviour correction therapy, but still wants a free pass for it

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>>51636861
>Most campaigns are 3.5
>Most people are fine with core rulebook stuff
>Two guys branch out for OP things like Warmages (We ususally play L5 and under; I don't know if they 'balance out' later)
>Whenever we play online, one of these guys never rolls under a 10 (so his checks are always above 14)


>Different group, 5th Ed.
>DM is super-prepared, voices characters and everything
>Doesn't realize this group sucks at powergaming
>We don't try Arcana/Perception/Sense Motive checks on pretty much anybody
>He's really bad at goading us into trying because he 'doesn't want to taint the experience'
>Spend one real-life hour interrogating one person because we can't figure out what the fuck to do
>5 interrogations later, we finally had a sit-down and convinced him to give us a little more of a fucking hint
>So, far 2 campaigns
>5 hours each
>One short fight
>Expects us to take notes

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>>51675456
similar feel
>all my PCs become dependent on explosives like bombs, grenades, all that shit
>get in shit for failing to smuggle it into a capital city
>"wtf why is this an issue?"

gee, i dunno. maybe because smuggling blacklisted substances into peaceful cities (without a permit) is ridiculously illegal.

>>51675513
>>51674568
it's pronounced "Tier-Uh-Nids"
literally based off the word "Tyranny"

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>>51636861
>when he makes a political comment assuming all present agree with him

>>51658679
>>51658841
>>51658848

In the campaign I'm playing in, the DM has literally built entire sections of the dungeons and world out of invincible metal. It's insane, and since we're supposed to be exploring for resources, infuriating as fuck.

>>51636923
Sounds like a pretty big guy

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>>51658848
>>51658841
>Players arguing with the DM
>Players trying to DM whilst being players

If he says the springs are magical unremovable springs thats what they are.

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>>51666937
>I was a beta
>Now my favourite dice are lost

Ask me how I know you're a paladin player?

>>51647586
>Suddenly, out of nowhere your wizard is attacked by a horde of elephants! Why didn't you notice them? Oh, they were moving silently, and also hidden.

>>51679659
If we say we go the fuck home because that's some ridiculous bullshit right there, we go the fuck home.

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>>51679823
Sure, have fun not playing dnd because you couldn't accept some unimportant fluff.

>>51645822
Not the anon you were talking to, but let me toss in my 2 cents.

You seem to like messing with RPGs and, presumably, enjoy learning new ones. I'm the same. Some people, however, don't enjoy that sort of thing. They just want to show up. maybe get 5-10 mins of rules explanation, and then to kill stuff (or roleplay, or whatever). That's fine, it's just a different way of doing things.

I'd suggest making a collection of pregens (maybe 1 for each person in the group plus a couple spares in case nobody likes one or two of them) and just letting them pick at the beginning of the session. That way, they don't HAVE to learn a new system just to spend even more time making a character before they're allowed to even play, and you get to run different systems.

tl;dr they're jerks for not bothering to learn the systems and do chargen, and you're a jerk for trying to force them to do something they don't seem to want to do.

>>51679937
Have fun not running any more games for the group since you apparently can't present us with an engaging game world without handwaving even the most rudimentary shit.

>>51679938
>tl;dr they're jerks for not bothering to learn the systems and do chargen
If you tell them you are running X game, and the agree to play X game and don't read the rules, they are absolutely jerks.
Your statement pings you very much as a long term player who hasn't had to deal with a GM's problems.

>>51679659
>>51679823
>>51679937
It sounds like the players and the DM simply want two very different things out of the game. The DM wants some sort of explanation-lite adventure game, and the players treat everything as a puzzle to be solved. It's not their fault they keep finding flaws in what the DM has going on, and it's kinda sorta not the DM's fault that he keeps not thinking things through enough to remove all the flaws they would be able to find.

Actually, it would be impossible to remove ALL flaws they would be able to exploit, but if it happens pretty frequently then he might want to step up his game. On the other hand, that's a lot of work and he might not enjoy DMing the sort of game where he has to constantly keep that in mind.

On the other other hand, if the party's spellcaster can create a pair of walls around 60 orcs before they do anything in response, and he's not even adjacent to where the second one was created, the DM should either think about those capabilities when planning something or switch to a lower level / different system where the spellcaster can't do stuff like that. Or, when he fiats in something to try to shove the group back onto the rails, be willing to also fiat in an enemy spellcaster or something to counter shenanigans like that.

>>51679348
For you

>>51680042
>If you tell them you are running X game, and the agree to play X game and don't read the rules, they are absolutely jerks.
Yes, that's what makes them jerks. On the other hand, if you tell them you want to run game X and they say they don't want to learn it, they're not jerks because they told you up front. They should either start learning the systems anon wants to run, or tell him up front that it's more work than they're willing to put in. Both are acceptable, though learning the systems is preferred.

>Your statement pings you very much as a long term player who hasn't had to deal with a GM's problems.
What makes you say that?

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>>51679989
I run two games a week anon.

And my players don't waste time trying to unpick every stitch. Instead they have fun.

Playing dnd inherently means subjecting yourself to the opinions and controls of another person nominated to be your narrator.

If you're arguing with the DM maybe you're not mature enough to play this game.

>>51680053
A mass of Orcs in a tight corridor was really a bad choice with some high level spellcasters in the party.

>>51680086
Your statement makes NO sense unless the GM showed up one day with the books to a game without telling players about it.
What group have you ever seen where someone said "hey, I'm running X game today, and I'm made at all of you because I didn't tell you in advance about X game"? I can't imagine any actual group where your situation would come about in, because at that point, the GM is just a fucktard no matter the case.

>>51636861
>guy plays the exact same character archetype no matter what game or system we are in: Ludicrously fast and nimble, master of combat, never bothered by or afraid of anything even if it makes no sense, has no real personality other than occasionally wisecracks
>power games to various degrees but always extremely optimized with no fluff or dressing
>backstories are all generic as fuck, one to three sentences at most
>is literally unable to have a different personality than his own, even when his character's stats/attributes would suggest otherwise
>never RPs or even speaks in character unless spoken to
>never ventures any opinions or contributes to IC discussion unless asked, and even then it's non-committal agreeing with whatever someone else said
>never has any long term plan or agenda for his characters, just follows what everyone else does

He's not a bad guy, just boring as all fuck to play with. If he didn't verbally tell me to my face that he has fun playing my campaigns and likes showing up to game nights, I would think he's the most disinterested guy in the world.

>>51680149
The players are jerks, as I said, because they say they're going to do it but don't.

The DM is also a jerk because they clearly don't want to spend their free time on it but he keeps trying to force them.

Both parties are jerks.

Also, I'm my group's regular DM. My players are pretty similar, and I've dealt with the problem by making pregens and explaining the basics of the system in person.

The ideal situation would be for them to just be up front about not being willing to put in the time, but I talked to them about it a couple times and they sincerely believed they'd do it. Rather than get on their case about it even more, I solved the problem by making pregens anytime I want to try something new and just telling them the basics while they were picking characters.

>>51636861

There's one guy in my group that usually knows the rules alright so we often trust him on the matter, but when challenged on specific rules-questions he easily becomes strangely flustered and pissed. Sometimes he remembers a rule wrong, or has interpreted it in a different way than another person at the table, and unless you want to bring the mood down you've got to step very lightly around that issue. Weird, I can't really understand the emotion since it's just rules, and none of us are autists and this walking rule-encyclopedias.

>>51669477
>but a greedfag monk is disgusting like a pacifist PC fighter.
>tfw my non-lethal grapple fighter was my group's favorite character.

>>51680477
Pacifist doesnt mean non lethal grappler anon.
That character sounds really fun too.