Talk about that one guy that ruined everything. Maybe he’s

>what is greentext

>>51500500
>Me being non confrontational, hurt the game and made everyone have less fun then if I had just said “Dude, you need to leave”.

ALL YOU BETA DM'S READING: Remember this and man up.

>>51500751
>trying to fit in this hard

You might be a high-schooler. But the sad thing is that you probably aren't, and don't even have that as an excuse for being this much of a desperate try-hard.

Mine was a dude who should really be taking medication for his social anxiety but doesn't. Like, he has all the symptoms. He talks either very little or too much, eye contact rare, gets jittery if we are in a group of friends, starts hyperventilating if we are with strangers, and is deathly afraid of his dad.

>>51500751

There's no point in greentext if you're telling a full story. Greentext is for short highlights.

>>51500795
I've been 19 for a month and on 4chan for two weeks.

And even if didn't need greentext, it should have been broken up more than just one line, space, seven lines.

My douchebag was a guy whose player (a wizard) cast sleep on one of the players and graphically described a rape scene. Apparently the player whose character was raped, was molested in real life... Never saw that guy at out table again.

>>51500500
Guy accused our local vet as a faker

>>51500500
>I tell everyone to roll characters from the main pathfinder book
At this point, you deserve whatever you get.

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>>51500500
>Pathfinder

>>51503473
>>51502764
Oh no, someone is playing a system I don't like, better post about it.

>>51503568
What?

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>>51500910
Hi, welcome to /tg/. I respect that you're new here so I won't give you more than a requisite amount of shit for it, but greentext is largely preferred even for what you would call a "full story."

>>51500500
I've got one.
>playing Savage Worlds with a group I met online
>most of the players are chill and the GM is very forgiving about character design
>but this fucking guy, let's call him James
>first character James rolls is a cat man who's also a top-grade sniper and bounty hunter
>absolutely refuses to engage with the rest of the party after we all get hired to check out a caravan that went missing
>just hops on his motorcycle and "scouts ahead" (read "gets away from the rest of us as fast as possible because he thinks we're a bunch of incompetent dipshits")
>we find out the caravaneers have been taken prisoner by the Coalition (basically human supremacists for those not in the know) and he agrees to "hunt" them
>most of the people at the table cringe visibly
>later we've ambushed a Coalition patrol so we can gather intel on the camp they've set up
>take one guy prisoner, questioning goes well
>James's character walks up
>"Is that all?"
>Coalition guy nods
>"Okay."
>shoots him in the face
>this fucker just blatantly executed a subdued and defenseless person in front of three very heroic PCs
>all hell breaks loose at the table
>one of the other players is actively screaming at him and James is just going "LOL why are you mad, he was Coalition"
>have to break up the fight to keep the party from dissolving
>this was the second session
1/2

>>51504157
I hope he was kicked. Preferrably in the nutsack

>>51504157
go on

>>51504157
2/2
>things progress fairly normally through the rescue of the caravaneers
>GM and James eventually work out that cat man has to go because he was creating that many problems with the rest of the group
>it bears mentioning that he's spent every session up to this point bringing the narration to a screeching halt every five seconds to debate the rules with the GM
>nobody fucking likes James and the fact that he's cooperating with the GM for once is suspect
>his new character is a cyborg
>with a minigun
>minigun makes fights completely trivial
>get annoyed but don't make a big deal out of it because he gets along better with the party at least
>fast forward a little
>we're trying to secure a ship to another port near Canada but the captain's gone missing
>the party splits up to look for him because we are all idiots
>James taps me on the shoulder and goes "You, you're with me."
>get apprehensive
>cyborg is still fairly new to the party at this point and I'm the only other muscle while our other two guys (a Burster and a psionic user) are relatively squishy
>Burster assures me they'll be okay searching the ship
>shrug and go to check out nearby warehouse
>get jumped by about a half dozen thugs
>an EMP gets tossed James's way and he fails his roll to avoid it as it goes off
>said EMP wasn't in the rulebooks, it was something the GM cooked up to handicap him a little
>gets lucky on the result table so all it does is temporarily knock out his hearing
>James fucking loses his shit
>every single action that anyone takes is punctuated with "But wait, where is that in the book, I don't" and him trying to appeal to the GM
>for a penalty that lasted maybe three turns
>we win the fight and James is conspicuously silent
>next session he's nowhere to be seen
>turns out the argument about the EMP bled over into angry emails and the GM just kicked him out of the group altogether
>feels like a fog has been lifted

>>51504215
>James gets kicked
Good end

>>51504191
>>51504209
>>51504221
I couldn't quite fit it in, but before the cyborg came along he wanted to switch to a dragon hatchling. I think that's the only character concept I've seen our GM outright veto.

>>51500751
A writing aid for people unable to make coherent stories without using it?

>>51504368
Or... maybe it's a format unique to 4chan which allows easy break-down and understanding of a story for the reader? You know, for expediency and visual ease?

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>>51504098
What the FUCK

>>51500910
Full story should at least be broken up into paragraphs.

Nobody reads a solid fucking wall of text.

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>>51500500
>that get lol

Mine is a bit of a oddity. He's not a bad guy all things considered, but when st the table he reliably will do certain things that can only be summed up as "godfuckingdammit"

>does special snowflake builds for characters whenever possible.
>doesn't ever consider party valance or dynamic unless you strong arm him into it.
>metagames CONSTANTLY
to be fair it's the gm's job to prevent this but this nigger makes it a full time job.
>regularly switches to murder hobo mode if he encounters any real resistance in a non-combat scenario.

And to make matters worse if PVP arises at all in the game he goes full asshole mode with and pretty much anything listed above goes into overdrive.

I guess the only real reason he's still in our group is because he's inconsistent about these problems. Some weeks he's chill AF but the week after its full blown autism.

>>51504247
Wait, you were playing Savage Rifts, weren't you?

>>51504540
Is PVP a very big problem with some groups? It's only happened to me once, but I'm still fairly new to tabletop games, and that one time was due to GM shenanigans more than any actual conflict arising between the players or the characters.

>>51504557
Yeah. We started out doing Savage Worlds, but we switched over to Rifts and just rebuilt our characters once we got the books.

>>51504572
PVP comes up very rarely in our group usually but we did have several games where the primary point was PVP and sometimes "friendly" PVP comes up in a game or two.

The most notorious examples of his autism was during the "holy grail war" based on the fate stay night setting one of our gm's would run it sometimes. It was effectively a big brawl where the group was broken up into pairs to fight off for the big prize.

No one wanted to ever fight this guy. Not because he was a master strategist or anything but because he would 1. Always want a npc servant and 2. Would always have a obnoxious as fuck character build or just overall concept.

We also have a ongoing dbz campaign where on occasion friendly PVP comes up (tournament, training, mind control etc...) and he always acts like a raging shithead during these moments

oh boy oh boy, where to begin.
ok, imagine a 400 pound lump of shit and hair. a large man that seldom showered or wore shoes, and had on occasion spent the night in his car, leeching the wifi of fast food places after his friends turn off theirs (seriously he would camp outside their house in his car using their wifi after his host booted him from the house to go to sleep). Now make him a rules lawyer who has to ague about EVERY single rule that comes up. How much ammo a gun holds, how much damage each shot does, etc. EVERY time. Then have him complain about whatever food or drinks are available (not that he EVER bought his own, or chipped in). THEN have him complain about whatever system that is in use, if it isn't his pet system. THEN have him tell people "your character wouldn't do that, do something else" (both as a GM and a player). Finally make him physically abusive to anyone in arms reach.
And to top it off, when he was about to be kicked out of the group, he plays the emotional blackmail of, "you guys are my only friends, if I didn't have you guys I'd probably kill myself".

The rest of the group fell for it, and let him stay. I left.

>>51504788
Sounds like a real piece of work. Being That Guy is one thing, but getting violent and emotionally manipulative on top of all that? You were smart to leave.

>>51504788
Man, what a dickhead.

>'you guys are my only friends, if you kick me out im kill myself'
>'then stop acting like an asshole, because what you are doing right now is being an asshole, what you were dooing before was being an asshole, and really, we don't want to have an asshole hang around us and we arn't responsible for your actions'
>'but-'
>'don't be an asshole and you can stay'
>'but-'
>'then leave and die'

how that convo has gone for my group.

>>51504788
>he plays the emotional blackmail of, "you guys are my only friends, if I didn't have you guys I'd probably kill myself"

In that situation, I would say "Then do it. We were never your friends. You are just a parasite leeching off of human pity.".

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>>51504098
I expected a funny or happy Twist

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I'm going to say 100% OJ counts as a /tg/ game because it's basically anime themed Talisman except it doesn't take three months to play.

>Start up game with friend, normal group isn't there so we just let a few randos join up
>First game is okay, Dude A is pretty quiet but makes an effort to jump in the conversation, Dude B just plays the game and leaves
>Game 2 starts up, Dude B is gone
>This is when we meet someone who, for the sake of not invoking the wrath of an Autist who may or may not be lurking here, we're just going to call Dick
>Jumps in lobby, begins complaining about losing his job
>Starts asking random questions about some Disney movie from the 90's
>Ask where we all live
>When I give him a vague answer he proudly declares "LOL GUESS WHAT I DON'T CARE"
>...K
>The whole time he's doing fucking awful at the game

For those of you not familiar with Weeb Talisman, there's basically four main stats that your character starts with a bonus or penalty for rolls to - Defense, Evasion, Health, and Attack. Defense blocks damage, your DEF dice roll - the other person's ATK roll, down to a minimum of 1. Evasion is an all-or-nothing chance to avoid all damage, either you roll higher than them and take no damage or you roll lower and take the full damage. Attack is an attempt to do damage. Health is, guess what, your health. There's also two ways to win - Stars, which is an economy win, or Wins which is a combat win. Each character also has a Hyper Move, which is an uncommon card randomly sorted into the deck that gives a special effect desinged to synergize with that character.

>Gets pissed off that a DEF based character can't do damage
>Gets pissed off that tank characters aren't good at evading
>Gets pissed off that he loses when constantly ramming his face into ATK focused characters.
>Pops his Hyper at random times
>Tries to fight everyone when he's almost dead and 2/3 people he'll be fighting are using heavy aggro characters

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>>51505190
>Complains every time he takes damage from anything
>Starts accusing us of cheating by using overpowerd characters
>Senpai, I'm playing a glass cannon who's Hyper can kill her, and a beatstick who's not allowed to use Star wins and with a Hyper that almost never works the way it needs to, what are you even talking about
>Friend tries to give basic advice, is blown off
>Continues to complain, refuses to accept that characters designed for an economy based strategy aren't supposed to be used to zerg everyone
>Gee, I wonder why he got fired?
>Dude A and Friend are trying to be polite
>I have lost the ability to give a fuck, start sniping back at Dick when he starts bitching
>Friend is much more paitent than me, is still on the fence about kicking him
>Waits too long, he's already ready'd up and starting by the time Freind gets around to tossing him
>Two games later, me and friend both agree via Skype that he is some form of autistic and we've both lost our patience
>Game night is fucked, sucks because we never get to hang out anymore
>Before leaving, make sure to mention having to get up early for work
>Friend confirms autist was triggered, I am very proud

Sorry if it's not the kind of table flipping theatrics you all were probably hoping for from a weeb board game, but it was still frustrating.

>>51504932
There are two responses to a suicide threat that should be done.

1: "Go ahead and die."
2: Sicc the police on them.

>>51504098
Fuck... I just got dumped on the feelstrain.

I want off this ride, I never asked for this

>>51500910
Thats a wall of text no matter how you spin it. Poor show old man

>>51501336
Never saw the douchebag or the molested guy? That's real shitty and should never ever fly. At my table anybody that behaved that way would immediately be ostracized, and as the GM I would never allow it anyways.

>>51504098
Jesus christ why? I would've gone total apeshit too.

>>51500500
>he’s a dice fudger
If you're talking about a player, why can't you just say "cheater" like a normal person?

>>51500795

The idea behind greentexting is to make the post easier to read.

It has been practiced on image boards and forums since the dawn of the internet.

>Stop projecting.

>>51500500
We have this guy in our group that makes games nearly unplayable depending on the person GMing.

He's a veteran with PTSD and other issues, so we cut him a little slack on his behavior, but 3/4 of us that GM don't take his shit and let it ruin games. He acts like a domineering asshole most of the time, and if you call him out on it (or ANYTHING for that matter) he sulks and sulks. We used to bring the pity party out for him to console him years ago but at this point we say fuck it and ignore him until he's done being a giant man-baby.

Anyways, in-game this guy talks over every single person including the GM, always attempts to make his character the leader forcefully, and generally tries to constantly take actions for his own character while overriding everyone else, almost as if he's playing a solo game.

We have 1 GM that is a complete pushover. With our guy as a player and this GM running the game, it's literally unplayable as nobody else gets to do anything. The rest of the GM's, including myself, tell him to wait and go around the table properly, making this point mostly moot. We can mitigate his domineering from game-ruining to just a tiny bit annoying and not really that bad. And if he sulks and leaves the game, oh well, who gives a fuck.

The second thing he does is constantly fudge his rolls; almost every single one, in fact. We play both online and in-person. In-person, he usually brings something to roll his dice in. He will fudge every single roll and his character will never fail unless someone is sitting right next to him and can see down into his little rolling thing. Online, we usually use an honor system since rolling physical dice is fun. Same thing here; his character never fails. We all get tired of it and we decide that we're going on Roll20 so all rolls are visible. After one session, where his character is actually failing sometimes, he leaves, disconnects from the friend group, and sulks for 2 months. Ridiculous.

>>51506212
The shitty thing is that he's actually a pretty fun guy most of the time, but he just has a few quirks that are intensely annoying. And these aren't a problem if you're willing to be a little confrontational about it. But being in a group of friends that are a bunch of geeks, a lot of them are pushovers and let him get away with shit so he doesn't go and sulk. I'm glad that over the last couple of years most of them have matured and realized this guy can't have his way. We only have 1 friend left that let's our guy push him around, and it's just sad.

>>51504788
Yeah, what others have said. Anyone who would threaten to kill themselves just for pity/manipulation should, well, kill themselves.

The thing is, if they aren't lying, then having you guys around wouldn't stop them from an heroing anyway.

Additionally, a lot of people who do have these issues know better than to blackmail people with them. Anyone who tries this is probably bullshitting anyway.

>>51506548
You're right. The whole "I'll kill myself if you guys ostracize me" is always fucking BS and outright emotional manipulation/abuse. People should almost always stand up to this crap. Like you said, if they're actually gonna do it, they'd already be dead and there's not much you can do to change that anyways.

>>51505190
>>51505201

What's the video game called? Talisman/anime don't return anything on google, neither does Talisman/OJ.

>>51508066
I think it's called 100% Orange Juice or something.

>>51506171
4chan used to be greentext free, it was a better place

>>51508250
>Muh *insert thing here* was better in the old days.

>>51508066
100% Orange Juice

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>>51500500
>I tell him that we’ve canceled the game for finals or some other bs reason

What a pussy. Keep running from your problems, millennial, and see how well that works for you the rest of your life.

>>51501081
>I've been 19 for a month

You've lived enough. Put a bullet in your brain.

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>>51508748
>Last sentence of his post acknowledges this and tells people not to make the same mistake.
It's almost like you didn't actually read it anon.

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>>51508748
>doesn't actually read the full post
>HURR MILLENNIALS
remember, it's brain before mouth/fingers anon

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>>51508828
>>51508794

t. triggered millennial

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>thinks that every and any NPC can be killed without consequences
>tries to use a buff spell AFTER he rolls the fucking dice for attack even after we explained that this is now how the skill works several times.
>keeps trying to be funny and random xD. Everybody wants a fucking giggle once or twice, but come on.
>thinks that saying "I'll attack his head" means that his attack is unnavoidable
>likes to melee while playing a sniper

He will die horribly. And it will not be my fault.

>>51506143
the guy who was molested. We tried to get him back, and we told him the douchebag was banned. But he was going through some shit, and that scene really bugged him.

>>51503697
I don't think they meant to reply to the post about the vet.

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>playing Pathfinder back in college with a group on campus
>everyone is pretty chill except for That Guy
>massive fedora tipper, took a History of Christianity class because he wanted to "know his enemy"
>proudly claimed he got kicked out of a church for laughing at the pastor during sermon
>he makes a Paladin and says he's going to base him off of real Christian morality
>first thing he does in the first session is murder a homeless woman for stealing bread to feed her kids
>not an hour into the game and his paladin already falls
>he gets mad because of this, claiming he was only doing what the Bible said and how could his paladin fall for that
>he freaks out and flips his chair into the wall, putting a hole in it
>campus police get called
>tfw the session was cancelled but we got to watch That Guy get tazed by campus police and piss himself

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>>51510028
Anon, this is a thread about people that ruined sessions, not the ones that made it better.

>>51508908
Are you gonna yell /pol/ too, now?
Seriously, you got btfo'd for being a dumb shit, don't double down on it.
I know it's hard to exercise grace on 4chan, but at least attempt.
>he doesn't know that a millennial is ANYONE born after 1985
>the millennial is calling others out

>>51510028
Good riddance. What an edgy faggot.

>>51510028
As a Christian I know it's a sin to enjoy this story due to the suffering of That Guy.

/tg/ what is my penance for loving this greentext?

>>51505201

You just sound like a retard to let a random person ruin your night. Explains why you play OJ.

>>51510271
An eternity of DM'ing for a group of 10 That Guys in hell.
The system is Pathfinder with all possible rulesets active.

>>51510350
That's like waaaay more than ten Hail Mary'so, dude.

Maybe one session of five That Guy's?

I'd it's just a straight up one shot dungeon crawl, could it really be that bad?

I think we know the answer to that

>>51500500
>be playing homebrewed star trek
>we have a new player
>GM decides to run a tutorial session in the holodeck
>fuckthatshit.jpg
>hack the holodeck to skip the tutorial
>GM gets assblasted mad at me for trying
>"if you want to say it's impossible that's fine, I won't hack the holodeck"
>"no, it's totally possible go ahead."
>GM keeps raising the successes necesarry to hack the holodeck while I'm hacking
>the CO which had no idea I was even doing this was also counterhacking the entire time
>the CO shouldn't even know how to hack
>this act also was involved in a coup I was planning on the ship to make a bunch of freemen who would go around giving other civilization's technology to barbarians
>GM decides not to punish me in character
>instead he throws the biggest shitfit about ALL of the players (not just me) "cheating"
>like, cheating at the game, not just cheating the holodeck
>we all laugh at him for making this a big deal
>he gets so mad he tries to throw us out
>we're all confused and taken aback like, "fuckin wot? srsly?"
>he eventually leaves to cool himself off
>ends the session and everyone agrees not to let him GM anymore
>he now has a vandetta in every single RP we've had after this point because he can't seem to figure out how to be the life of the nerd table

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>>51508778

>dude joins game
>Wants to be a teifling warlock
>Murder hobo
>Pedants and argues over absolutely everything wasting hours
>Frequently derails game to talk about stupid shit
>In our alt-fuck around and be silly game when our main DM needs a break, he wants to be Guts
>Derails game trying to be the super serious guy
>Back to main game, he tortures a torture victim to find the person that tortured her....

Our DM disbanded the group after that

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>>51508778
I'm contemplating it.

I have a couple prime offenders. All of them have their flaws, including myself, but these two are standouts. Worst of all, I'm in a Pathfinder group, and nobody at my FLGS is interested in anything that isn't derived from d20 systems.
>Public Enemy #1: Always plays some variety of Evil, usually plays as a super-sneaky munchkin with such impossibly high Bluff, Disguise, and Stealth so nobody can ever catch him for his crimes, never gets involved in anything until it's time to loot (at least he doesn't outright help the antagonists), applies the same mentality to DMing when he DMs
>Junior: Generally clueless, doesn't know how to do anything without DM handholding, all of his "humor" is based on old memes, dick jokes, and lolsorandum!!1:D crap, no indoor voice

Happened last weekend
Roommate and his friends are having a one of 5e campaign and I join them.
>Makes his character noble bard/wizard who graduated at the top of his class and the only reason he wasn't in charge of the school was because he was told to get world experience
>we are level 8
Background on roommate, he's the kind of guy that thinks that he is incredibly charismatic, never shuts up thinks he's an expert in everything and acts like an excited puppy whenever friends come over, Loud forced laughter that he thinks is funny also believes that he is punk and hardcore
Wore a full DMC cosplay to class a few weeks ago
>I roll up a knight and we start playing
>Get through the first couple of combat encounters fine
>During this whole game bard is screeching when he takes damage yelling loudly and being the attention whore he is.
>ranger scouts ahead and discovers small camp.
>Bard decides to go and negotiate while the rest of the party goes stealth
>I have shit dexterity and full plate armor so I say I'm screwed but I can just walk up with him and follow his lead
>He looks at me and asks if I trust him
>U wut m8
>I say no just tell me what you want to do
>I'll polymorph you into a rabbit and make you invincible
>I say no that's not how it works I'll just walk up
>All right then I cast polymorph on anon.
>I roll Nat 20
>He turns it into a 4 through Portent
That's not how portent works
I didn't know that at the time
>I turn into a rabbit
start to realize that this whole game will be all about him
>He's laughing his ass off this whole time
>tries to negotiate and fails horribly
>Enemies draw their weapons
>Warlock tosses fireball in the center of them
>"I throw the rabbit in the fireball"
At that point I got up from the table and called it a day
Roommate gets pissy and says I'm not acting my age
I say how I want to play a game and not have decisions made for me.
"That's how things go sometimes man you should've told me in private that you don't like that

>>51516918
I still get salty about this
Was I just a buzzkill?
I have no one to vent to about it

>>51516942
Forcing another player's character to be transformed into a rabbit after they say no is... some kind of weird fetish thing. And making himself the center of attention by shoving everyone else to the side is a breach of most every form of etiquette known to man.

But storming off was a bit of an overreaction. When you're the one who gets mad and leaves, it'll always make you look worse.

>>51504572
The first group that I was in lasted about a year and a half and in that time we lost about 1 character a week on average. Over half of those death were from PvP.

>>51517069
I get what you're saying I just wanted to get out of there without exploding. I didn't throw my dice or scream and shout I just got up and said "alright I think I'm done playing"
I just know that if I'm not having fun for a few rounds I turn into a black hole and suck the life out of a room
I just figured I should get out of there before I ruin it for everyone
And I mean I think I was justified in getting pissed he turns me into a creature with 1hp and tries to throw me into a fireball. Like come on that's shitty no matter how you slice it

>>51516918
Had something king of similar to like this Happen to me.

>Play in my (as of then) boyboyfriend’s first PF game he was running.
>I play a Tengu gunslinger with a cursed gun, the rest of our party is a fighter, cleric, and a pretty useless bard.
>We have a few pretty great sessions.
>Boyfriend’s roommate wants to join in, she’s never played and we are stoked to get another person hooked on role playing games.
>She rolls a half orc barbarian. And this is where shit went downhill.
>She’d talk about her character non stop, even when it wasn’t her turn.
>always taking way too long with her open role play parts of the game
> “OMG it would be so funny if {Character} did this” “Let me explain why she would do this” etc.
>last straw was when her character was having a drama moment with a racist npc, where she goes into a rage state.
>The whole party was trying to calm this barbarian down, and trying to calm the angry mob that was wanting justice for the NPC’s death.
>After having about 1min of role play, figure I might as well do something.
>Try to insult her and challenge her to a fight, trying to take advantage of her enraged state, where she would calm down and chill if I won.
>Instantly, all the characters in the party stop me.
>Bard: “I cast sleep on the Tengu”
>Fighter: “I knock the Tengu out”
>DM“{Employer character NPC} tells you he forbids this”
>I am put to sleep. And the theater that was our party’s barbarian continues.
>I then spend the rest of the game, asleep. Doing nothing but stick my bird thumb up my ass apparently.
>Realize that this game was basically the Orc’s show now.
>Leave the party.

What really sucked was the fact that I wasn’t allowed to really contribute anything to this game, and when I tried the party instantly would interfere. I stopped playing tabletops for a while.

>>51517311
That shit sucks

>>51517265
Not the other anon, but I think this sounds like a very good reaction.

You know what you're like when you're unhappy, and you didn't want to ruin anyone else's fun. This is all we can really ask of a person, and it speaks volumes about your character. Most people either don't realize these sorts of things about themselves or don't bother trying to fix/work around their flaws. Good for you.

>>51517265
Oh, it's definitely shitty, and it's common sense that hijacking someone else's fun just because you want attention is a dickass thing to do, and if you really feel like you were on the edge of saying something you'd regret then getting out of the situation is definitely reasonable.

The fact that you do risk looking like the bad guy, unless there was already an understanding among the other players that the aforementioned dickass was indeed a dickass, is sort of moot at that point I guess.

>>51516918
>loudass polymorphs players after player says no
>loudass kills player when he is vulnerable
>Player leaves, gets called a sore sport
nah you left right when loudass was going full player centered morality mode

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>>51514546
Hey anon, the world is shit but if we all do our part, it gets better

I tried to DM a game for some friends who don't play any RPGs on skype. We putzed around with 3.5 once in undergrad so we decided to try that out again. One player says he's going to play a transexual bard that identifies as female but who is biologically male and looks very gross and masculine. Constantly shills about social justice. This is in pretty strong contrast to both the general setting and the other characters (a sorcerer who is an escaped prisoner and a grizzled old paladin) but whatever, he assures me it's satire and won't be a big deal.

Head of the city (noble lord with connections to the capital) gets party together and says they have a parcel to deliver to neighboring capital. Few days walk down a path offset by a 'cursed forest'. Upon request the noble also gives a small care package with bread, meet, and wine for the journey.

That night the bard secretly eats all of the food and replaces it with cheap wine and stale bread because 'I'm Chaotic Neutral, it's what I would do'.

Party hears someone screaming for help later along the path and the bard ignores it while the sorc and paladin go off to help the guy. Whatever; it's a cursed forest so he was just being cautious. I actually have no problem with his actions here but it's a pain in the ass to try and DM two different scenarios simultaneously.

Bard gets to capital first; presents obviously tampered package, denies opening it and gets arrested. Flees arrest, fucks up rolls and gets forcibly tossed in dungeon.

Due to time-fuckery, rest of party arrives with the Prince NPC they rescued just around this point. Prince is persuaded to try and intervene, prolongs immediate execution until a trial is held the next day.

>>51518032
Party visits bard in jail and manage to slip him the paladin's sword (guards didn't search/confiscate their stuff because they were honored guests of the prince and he insisted they not be harassed). A guard is sent down and tries to assassinate the bard but is prevented by the party. They inform the prince in his chambers and he sends down his own personal honor guard to make sure no funny business happens again.

Bard acts as his own defense at trial. Royal advisor acts as prosecution. Prosecution submits tampered package and the bard fleeing arrest as evidence.

Bard argues that the royal advisor, respected council is lying. Turning his entire defense into you said/I said, offers no alternative explanation, and expects the court of the capital to side with him, a random outsider, over a well respected member of the royal court.

Through strange events not made entirely clear, the advisor is furious but informs the judge that he is withdrawing all charges based on an order from a higher authority. Bard is found not guilty.

The prince is then found poisoned in his room and all three members of the party are accused (witnesses saw them enter his room last night and his personal guard was sent away so there was no one to protect him).

Players are back in the dungeon in cells facing one another with a small hallway in between. They can yell across the hall and not really be overheard since it's a reasonably big dungeon and there are lots of other prisoners.

>>51518052
Party more or less fails to develop a plan.

That night a mysterious figure offers them assistance. Party asks to confer with one another.

Bard casts message to try and talk to party without figure hearing.

I tell him that's not how message works. It's not telepathy; the guy is standing literally right next to you he's still going to hear what you say.

Bard argues for 10 minutes about why a zero level spell should allow him to completely silence his own voice to people right next to him and how "whisper a message with little chance of being overheard" means that there is a 0% chance to be overheard.

Ultimately doesn't matter. Figure gives advice and leaves.

Bard now mentions the sword that is still in the cell. He asks if he can pick up the sword, dangle it through the bars and toss it across the hall (one handed) through the other bars into the paladin's cell.

I say it's possible but would be very difficult and noisy if it fails

He argues the point some more pointing to his high dex and how he thought it was a short sword so really it shouldn't be particularly heavy.

The paladin had up until this point described his sword as basically a greatsword, MAYBE a particularly big long sword, but had never explicitly defined it as such.

I basically snap and say "look, you are attempting to toss a sword with one hand in pitch black through bars you can't actually see. You aren't a strong character and you are constantly making assumptions about the game in order to have it work in your favor. You don't ask for clarification and argue with me after I already gave you an answer. Cut it out and play the game!"

he doesn't respond and presumably just leaves. Silence from him for like, 15 minutes before we decide to just give up.

I'm still pretty salty about it. He didn't cooperate with anything or anybody then whined when he couldn't instantly come up with 'clever' solutions to everything. Good riddance.

>>51504572
Problem is a relative term. Sometimes it is a problem, sometimes it's built into a game.
I had one campaign were two characters were basically vying to lead the group, and it devolved into combat sometimes, but that was part of the game. Neither character was killed off because of it and it didn't cause problems in the game.

And then there's pure autism, which is an issue. Like when someone challenges another player to pvp at the table when they actually mean larping.

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>playing vampire the requiem
>ST and players are all newbies
>except for that guy
>makes a Carthian politician that gets into everybody's business
>the ST allows him to talk for what feels like hours and auto-succeeds every speech without any dice being rolled
>he manages to seize power in two covenants by the second session
>his blah-fu also solves the main conflict of the game about ten minutes afterwards
>puts his XP into Allies (Carthian) and is very open about him turning that into riot-on-demand
>ST puts the game indefinitely on hold
>mfw I'm the asshole that ruined everything

>>51517082
Let me guess: the group doesn't meet anymore? And that's because of the PvP?

>>51517311
No game is better than a bad game: you did well in leaving

>>51516918
You reacted just fine. No game is better than a bad game: take solace in the fact that now you can look for a better group than those wankers.

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>>51514810
>>Junior: Generally clueless, doesn't know how to do anything without DM handholding, all of his "humor" is based on old memes, dick jokes, and lolsorandum!!1:D crap, no indoor voice

Never have I ever been given such a huge lapse of self-awareness.

>>51516918
>Wore a full DMC cosplay to class a few weeks ago

I know it's unrelated but I need to know more

>>51506171
>It has been practiced on image boards and forums since the dawn of the internet.

That's bullshit.

Using > to quote has been part of the internet since at least usenet, but the name greentext and the green coloring are both chanisms, as is its use in storytelling, and anything other than direct quotes, AFAIK.

>>51504540
Google Image search isn't being cooperative. Would you kindly pass the sauce?

>>51522131

Wakfu.

That Guy is actually my DM's mum.

>come over
>playing game
>having fun
>group is great
>mum gets home
>she's drunk
>rocks up to our table and starts excoriating her son for being a friendless loser (despite all of us, his friends, being there playing games with him)
>he's well versed at getting into huge fights with her after years of practice and starts talking shit about her alcoholism and how she can't keep a man because nobody wants her and as soon as his internship turns into a real job next year (he's got it all lined up) he's leaving too and blah blah, she spent all her retirement money on slot machines and he's not going to look after her in her old age so she better make an exit plan
>really nasty stuff

We're all used to it and tend to just quietly leave and go out the back and have snacks but fuck, one day they're going to kill each other.

She starts it but fuck he's vicious. He's otherwise a pretty nice guy, mild mannered and relatively chill, but when he gets mad he just starts laying into people.

>>51522168
Much obliged, anon.

>>51510350
>playing with 10 /pfg/ posters for an eternity
truly a fate worse than an eternity in hell

>>51522319
Jesus, give your friend a hug from me okay.

>>51510350
Welp, time to spend the rest of my days in a confessional.

>>51510175
Self hating millennials cucking for Gen X and even Boomers is pretty common, senpai. It's really sad, but it's very very common for kids to go

>I'm not at all like my generation, watch how more mature and different I am from these special snowflakes.

>>51509257
What a cunt. Hope the other guys alright. Sucks that he felt isolated cause of one prick, especially since rpg's have helped me out with shit like that before.

>>51518098
Whisper
You point your finger toward a creature within range and whisper a message.
The target (and only the target) hears the message and can reply in a whisper that only you can hear.
>The target and only the target hears the message and can reply in a whisper only you can hear
Not defending the player anon but at least know the rules of the game before you get on your high horse.

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>>51500500
1. i like your post number
2.
My whole group is only willing to play a single motherfucking game.
It's not even a good game, it's flawed without end.
I have a huge collection of games I'd like to play, some show a tiny bit of interest, one says he'll gladly play something else for a change.
I try to run a different game, everyone shows up, but none wants to play it. The guy that was the most interested in playing something else is the first to run the old game.
I guess I need new friends, the old ones are broken.

>>51504636
>We also have a ongoing dbz campaign where on occasion friendly PVP comes up (tournament, training, mind control etc...) and he always acts like a raging shithead during these moments

Unrelated to thread, but mind if I ask for the system? Been looking for something to run a DBZ game.

>>51525617
Is he RPing Vegeta?

>>51518032
Wait, the parcel had been tampered with, but didn't the bard just mess with the care package?

>>51524210
But is that the same spell as Message?

>>51504098
Damn. Seriously.
Damn.

>>51511008
How much did you pay for your fedora? Does it match your katana?

>>51504098
Man fuck that lying cunt

>>51500500
>Would constantly get stoned as fuck and pissed drunk
>Started shit with players for the lulz
>Joined in That GM's bullying of one of the players
>All that caused the other players (including me, a pretty mellow guy by most accounts) to get irritable with each other
Between him and the fucking GM, they about caused our group to self-destruct.

>>51530717

What did the GM do?

>>51504215
What's the deal with the setting? It sounds kind of awesome.

>>51530717
This almost sounds like my group when I was playtesting my Fallout PnP.
>ask buddies if they want to try a TTRPG
>No one has ever played a TTRPG
>Two friends agree, they vouch for two others
>Perfect party size, things looking good
>First session where we create characters
>One player doesn't show up
>No problem, I can roll with three
>Sandbox to get used to the system
>We're all over 21, so drinking is allowed
>One player is straight murder-hobo
>Another is forced into talking by murder-hobo, he hates it
>third is "crazy" which turns out to be more "lolrandumb" than anything
>Group falls apart a few weeks later because no one really knows much about the setting, despite playing the games
>Plus since I was giving rides (due to location of host, it was easier for us all to carpool and as GM I was always sober) everyone was drinking too damn much to play
>When I banned drinking there was much bitching and then they pre-gamed
>still haven't solidified the rules, not sure how well they'd work

>>51531844
I think it's Tolkeen War? GM initially drew from the fantasy and sci-fi rulebooks before switching to Rifts, but we've been traveling around the northern US if that helps any. It is really fun, though, and I think that's due in equal parts to the players and the actual game - I've got plenty of stories that are nicer than the James one.

>>51533323
So tell them nigger. I guarantee people will want to hear them. Make a new thread if you absolutely must.

>>51533993
Okay, if you think there's an audience for them, I'll make a new thread so this one doesn't get derailed.

>>51534360
Storytime here: >>51536634
I'm in the process of posting it, so it might take a second for me to put up the whole thing.

>>51531844
It's the RIFTS setting use the Savage World ruleset. I haven't had a chance to look through it, but I've heard good things. The original Paladium ruleset was quite unorganized and very imbalanced. You could have Street Rats and 60ft tall robot pilots in the same party, and there was really no accounting for varying power levels.

>>51504098
Did have to be that story, why man? I just came here to laugh at bad players.