What's the most"player character" tier action

>>51488233
>Shoot a pirate in the face
>turn to the captain
>"We just want to parley!"

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>>51488233
>Have to get help from the setting's big "magic city".
>One of the players is from this city and manages to arrange a diplomatic meeting with their queen for us.
>That Guy suddenly decides he hates mages, hates, hates the player that got us the audience, and hates this whole plan.
>Show up to enter into talks over an alliance, That Guy opens up negotiations by basically threatening her that she better bend over backwards and give us everything we want "or else".
>The rest of us just sit there looking horrifed
>GM rightfully has the queens guard dogpile That Guy and throw him in jail
>We eventually get That Guy out of jail later that day by convincing the queen his behavior was stress and flashbacks from the battlefield
>That Guy spends the next session endlessly bitching that encounter was totally unfair and that DM godmodded and how now we need to kill this bitch because she's obviously a Mary Sue and fuck that.

I'm not sure what happened after that, I left the group at the point. That Guy pretty much behaved like a Skyrim character, and then guilt tripped everyone at the the table, including the DM, into letting him get away with it with minimal consequences and then bitched even about those.

>>51488233
>party busts in on cultists escaping through a tunnel
>ranger makes impassionate plea for them to lay down arms
>they will not be harmed
>one of the barbarians starts intimidating and interrogating them
>picks one up by his collar
>cultist is stammering in fear, just about to spill the beans
>ranger player goes "lol I shoot him through the head"
>for no reason
>tell him he's changed alignment to Chaotic Evil (wasn't his first That Guy action)
>"I'm just doing it for fun, man!"

>>51489369
I hope you'll be able to find a group where you'll have to deal with less bullshit

>>51489515
That ranger sounds like a retard... did he display retardation symptoms before that happened?

>>51488233
I was running a d20 Modern game set in the Marvel universe.

The players broke into one of the Punisher's weapon caches and found some of his war journals. The whole party just started looting guns and grenades and one of them read all the journals and was like

"THIS IS A BAD IDEA, I BETTER WRITE HIM A NOTE TO APOLOGIZE"

He then proceeded to write him a letter that was basically along the lines of "Dear Mr. Punisher, I'm sorry about your dead wife and kids. My friends stole your guns and grenades even though I told them not to, please don't be mad at us. Sorry!" and signed it and everything.

>>51489515
>"lol I shoot him through the head"
>>"I'm just doing it for fun, man!"
Exactly... Chaotic Evil.

>>51489581
What did the punisher do?

>Pc's want to kill random dirt bag for insulting the party paladins honor
>the paladin kills him, and throws him out the window
>in the alley the ranger waits to dump his body into the sewer
>"I cut off his tendons for bow strings"
>everyone looks at her like "Are you retarded"
>I explain as GM that the street is busy, and also that that is an evil act and she is CN
>"But I am in the alley, right?"
>Alright, go ahead if you want (suit yourself voice)
>"alright alright I won't do it"
>starts huge argument about how it is way less evil to make bowstring from the tendons of a human than an animal as humans are inherently ebul and dirtbags
>me and the rest of the party shit on her endlessly for this meme tier high school philosophy
>at the end, still say she can do it, but it's an evil act and that the passer-by's might see her

Fucking autistic, like wtf. And it's not like I didn't make hunting available, she just wanted to be edgy.

another game
>party in a dwarf city
>party just got done talking with the dwarven high priest, got an important quest to relinquish icons from the abandoned part of the fort
>neutral good ranger takes job from pawn shop owner to get the valuables off a nobles corpse dumped in the city cesspit/garbage pile (hurr)
>asks around with guards and peasants if it's ok to dig trough the garbage
>they say it's ok
>he and another player digs trough the landfill/cesspit, stinks like shit
>guard catches him and drags him off to take a bath, angry that he is stinking up the city
>he is baffled and angry when the high priest won't let the party into the cathedral after this, out of game
>in the middle ages, when disease was spread easily
>party, in game, votes his character out of the group since they were pissed IC at what he did, and he concealed his actions from everyone other than the one other player
>he gets mad out of game and causes drama

I hate players sometimes. Fuckers think that they can do anything without consequences.

>>51489581
I feel like the one saying sorry got spared.

>>51489581
That's actually hilarious if true

>>51489611
Ramped a speed boat from the pier into the park where they were smuggling coke and shot half of them, obviously.

>>51489616
Was she going for the insane CN?

>>51489616
oooh, also from the first ranger that wanted to cut off the guy's tendons
>player leaves my game
>I fluff it as her getting angry at a contract the party broke, and heading off
>ranger: "I shoot her in the back as she is walking away"
>WHY?
>"She has loot"
>do you seriously do this?
>"yes"
>okay, you have just become choatic evil. Roll attack.
>gets butthurt that I made her chaotic evil, starts to bicker again but in the end shrugs and shoots the player
>in the end another player defends the ranger as the PC(now NPC) that was leaving actually beat her with a spell and was going to kill her, and kills the leaving player.
>fighter of the party tells them all to fuck off and takes the gear and loot of the now dead player that left the game and carries it back to her family
>says the ranger killed her
>assassins kill the ranger in her sleep

>>51489620
Not spared, exactly, but he was paranoid enough to expect what was coming and hid behind some cars.

He later did a lot of coke and crashed a helicopter and TPK'd what was left of the party though.

>>51489616
If killing another intelligent humanoid doesn't automatically change one's alignment to evil in your games, I see no reason why using their bodyparts would. Especially if she was a ranger, utilitarian and all. Doing it in the middle of a city was a little dumb though.

>>51489616
The first on seems legit, but the second one seems like you just had it in for the player.

>>51489632
no, she is just legitimately a retard. I know her and hang with her out of game and she can act autistic as fuck but can also be pretty chill. When we chill we usually shut her down with "stop with that highschool philosophy bs"

>>51489644
>"I shoot her in the back as she is walking away"
Ok, THAT'S a valid reason for an alignment change, I'd agree with you there.

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>>51488233
>Party gets framed for the murder of a noble by a total-bitch BBEG noble
>Guards show up to arrest the players
>Players are all like "fuck this shit" and fight/flee
>One poor player is completely out of the loop on all of this.
>Decides not to fight the guards, convinced that this can be worked out peacefully ina proper hearing.
>There is no hearing
>Poor player gets arrested and sent directly into the corrupt nobles secret torture dungeon, beaten, burned, cut, and all sorts of other things... but they're kept alive because this sadistic bitch wants him to die slowly
>Player manages to escape during one of these torture sessions and kill the bitch
>Instead of fleeing the player sneaks right into the palace, finds some of the other nobles, and pretty much stands there, covered in the blood of the one he just murdered, and surrenders AGAIN, as a show of good faith.
>It actually works and gets the other nobles to believe him at least enough to investigate this, which eventually leads to the party being declared innocent.

>>51489616
Cutting tendons of an already dead guy isn't bad, he was already dead. In fact it's objectively better than killing an animal only to get the tendon. Literally paladin was more evil for killing a guy badmouthing him.

>>51489672
>spoiler
The GM of that game sounds cool.

>>51489656
nah, but legitimately if you asked the peasants/guards if it was ok to rummage trough the garbage it would be totally ok, and you could even enter churches, but it's a different story if you are agents of a high priest and you want to get into a cathedral. The other players immediately knew this was gonna happen on a meta level, but It's not like they could stop them IC as they didn't know what was going on.

>>51489649
>>51489682
morality is subjective to the culture on which it is built. Bodily mutilation is quite a heinous deed in a medieval perspective.

>>51489672
Holy shit, that character had balls of steel.
>I just got tortured to the brink of death
>I just killed a noble
>Should I go get medical attention?
>Nah, I'll risk my neck because it's the right thing to do

>>51489726
Alignment box is supposed to be objective though with most of its ruleset being outside of subjective morality. Like goodness vs evilness is mostly about altruism and extreme egoism, and how intentions matter more than results.

>>51488233
I've told this story on /tg/ once or twice, so it might be familiar to some.

>running Call of Cthulhu
>one of the investigators finds a byakhee fetus swaddled in blankets in the closet and takes SAN damage, was already pretty close to snapping and starts screaming
>another party member hears him screaming and rushes into the room demanding to know what's happening
>crazy man throws the byakhee fetus at him
>he also takes SAN damage and starts screaming
>rest of the party walks in on two screaming retards, covered in byakhee goo, hurling a horrible bugbird fetus at each other
>SAN damage for everyone

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>>51489689
>>51489736
Fucking paladins, man.

>>51489672
Thats awesome. Stupid, but awesome

>>51489682
>>51489649

Defiling a human corpse is a criminal act that is punished in many modern countries. This was more or less the norm in the historical perspective of the act also. Whereas defiling a animals corpse is nothing.

So yes, your subjective interpretation of the act does not mean much when compared to the social norms. If you live in a vastly different society that would not be so in the fantasy realm but as far as the dm showed us it is your generic fantasy realm humans. So they wouldnt differ much.

>>51489801
ALIGNMENT BOX DOESN'T DEPEND UPON SOCIAL NORMS, SOCIAL NORMS CAN ONLY AFFECT LAWFUL - CHAOTIC SCALE

>>51489801
>>51489726
D&D alignments are based on a specific set of guidelines outlined within the rules, though. They have nothing to do with "actual" morality.

morality is imaginary anyway

>>51489622
Good end in my book

>>51489616 >>51489644
Alignments are shit, just like that ranger player. Holy shit.

>>51489830
That's like saying that society's opinion on an injury affects your hitpoints.

>>51489672
When someone has more luck than brain...

>>51489369
Fuck TES players.
>okay you all need to attend this important diplomatic meeting and you really need this person on your side
>huehue i pickpocket everyone at the meeting
>wtf what do you mean i'm in jail, can't i just pay a fine and get out?

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>>51489581
>Dear Mr. Punisher, I'm sorry about your dead wife and kids. My friends stole your guns and grenades even though I told them not to, please don't be mad at us. Sorry!

>>51489672
Good guy GM.

>Jewish stereotype NPC Quartermaster Shlomo in Only War
>Obstructs the party from getting on the dropship they were ordered to
>Party kills him and records it, under the logic that we could justify it as executing a heretic since we had video evidence of his obstructionism.
>Never get asked about it
>His brother Glomo replaces him
>We try to get some extra gear, he says no
>We show him the video of up killing his brother who had "been mysteriously murdered"
>he passes out in fright and we pour some alcohol on him while we raid the armory
>later discover he was executed for drunkenness on duty

>>51490667
לול

>>51489644
>fighter of the party tells them all to fuck off and takes the gear and loot of the now dead player that left the game and carries it back to her family
>says the ranger killed her
>assassins kill the ranger in her sleep
Good end.

>playing a Savage Worlds game styled off the A-Team
>we're driving on a highway in Louisiana to go kill a Cajun drug lord and rescue a Senator's daughter
>get pulled over in our kitted out van in full Fudd mode, wearing tactical gear and armed with all kinds of guns
>Louisiana State Trooper asks where we're going
>Party face says "airsoft tournament" without missing a beat
>State trooper gives us a warning about a tail light being out, says "you kids have fun", then lets us go

>>51490732
The only thing that confuses me is why the ranger let him do that instead of shooting him in the back too.

>>51490818
+10 to bluff check!

>>51488233
>Party busts in to find assassin attempting to kill the NPC that we were supposed to be escorting incognito.
>Assassin leaps out of the window and into a densely crrwded city street.
>NG Sorcerer: "I cast fireball."
>DM: "Into the densely crowded city street?"
>"NG Sorcerer: "Yes."

>>51489581
>please don't be mad at us. Sorry!

Spilled my coffe on my screen, hahahahah.

>>51489743
That sounds like a perfectly normal CoC session though.

>>51490887
It could be that he was REALLY confident in his aim. I feel like this is the sort of thing where you would let him get away with it if he succeeds and punish him with trauma and alignment change when he misses the shot and fries a mother and her child.

>>51490960
Depends on how densely packed the street was. If this is DnD or Pathfinder, Fireball is an AoE spell, so you're going to probably hit innocents.

>>51491001
>Fireball is an AoE spell
Oh okay, right. I was thinking that there are many scenes in action movies where you see the heroes firing a bullet/arrow/knife past bystanders when it really wouldn't have advisable to try that in real life, so I could see where the player was coming from. But none of them threw a grenade or something obviously.

>>51488233
>Raiding a cult hiding in a brothel basement
>Lots of charms and illusions getting thrown around
>Run into a room full of beautiful women
>Surprise surprise, DM tells us to make wisdom saves
>Half the party passes, including lawful good cleric (me) and chaotic good sorcerer
>DM tells us the women seem visibly magical and illusory
>Sorcerer tries to convince charmed party members they aren't real
>They don't believe him
>So he whips out his crossbow and starts firing at the women
>Once he's done "manually dispelling" it, the illusion ends
>There's a bunch of dead women on the ground
>Turns out they were real
>Passing the save made us see real people as illusions for some reason

The DM proceeded to make dead hooker jokes at the sorcerer's expense for the rest of the campaign, although I resurrected them and converted them to my god later on in that very session. IC I was horrified and guilty that I did nothing to stop what happened, but OoC I was fucking pissed.

>>51491088
>succeeding a check gives you false information
Is this a thing people do?

>>51491088
What even was the illusion?

>>51491187
>>51491195
I can only assume that the women's beauty was magically enhanced

>>51491187
>it's a glamour

they might be altering their appearance with magic, which is not inaccurate

>>51491187
I bet you the GM made that up after the guy started shooting.
It would have been WAY funnier if they used illusion to improve their looks, instead.

>>51491187
Apparently. I was pretty pissed, which is why I spent like 5k gp for all the diamonds to resurrect them.

>>51491195
I have no idea. There probably wasn't one and the DM was just fucking around.

>>51491205
She specifically described them as appearing illusory. Like they appeared like they weren't really there.

>>51491221
It was almost certainly the fault of the DM for not making clear the nature of the illusion in the first place. "Their appearance seems fake and illusory" vs "They look immaterial and almost transparent."

>>51489557
He was our That Guy, and had a severe case of the ol 'video game syndrome. Quick to act like an idiot, and quick to blame others when things didn't go his way.

Though, his bullshit was annoying enough that you really WANTED to fuck with him. Running a normal game for the guy was like herding cats. He'd hint at wanting one thing, only to have completely forgotten about it by the next session. There should be a word for putting oneself in a position like that, where the world DOES conspire against you as a direct result of you constantly claiming it does.

>>51490231
My older brother plays alot of Fallout. I tried bringing him into my D&D group. It was a bad idea.

Either of those RPGs are a bad example to gamers as to what D&D is like, and i think they get compared to D&D frequently due to their "openness".

>>51489616
>killing someone for insulting one's honour isn't evil
>using parts of the body is

That's some shitty logic. At best, the Ranger player's logic is on par with your own. You have no business calling the other person autistic.

I mean, your party was in the business of covering up a murder, for fuck's sake. That shows they know they did something wrong. But you think murder is OK, but mutilation of a corpse isn't? That's an oddly specific system of values you've got there.

>5e
>Player casts Friends whenever she wants advantage on speech checks
>Is consistently surprised when NPCs get angry with her when the spell wears off despite me explaining to her how the spell works multiple times

>Party stumbles upon a couple of prisoners who are tight-lipped about who they work for
>She pops Friends
>Finally ffs she's using the spell in a smart w-
>wastes the entire spell trying to convince one of the prisoners to punch the other one in the face

>>51491377
>>51490231
>>51489369
Huh, is this actually kind of frequent? I know Bethesda games usually have a disconnect between roleplay and gameplay, barring, like, DOOM. Do you think there's a direct correlation?

>also I know Bethesda just published DOOM but it still works as a joke

>>51490231
>Morrowind
>Guardians of the holy city actually chase you down if you wear their special armour around them
>Perfectly possible to fuck yourself in a corner by going dungeoneering without proper preparation

Don't drag the rest of TES into Skyrim's mess.

>>51491424
There's a massive disconnect between ANY video game and tabletop games. The guy in my party who followed video game logic made a copy of his grimderp Diablo character and expected me to make up tailored side quests for him while the rest of the party sat on their asses.

Dragon Age had the same shit, with there being a huge disconnect between the stuff you hear in conversations and read in the world guide, and the stuff you actually do. Games just can't cover stuff like diplomatic negotiation very well. Games are covered entirely by logic set up months beforehand, so if you cheese your way into pickpocketing the king by abusing mechanics, the game simply can't respond, while a human DM can say "the guard prevent you from getting close to the king, you mongoloid".

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>>51491484
>get chased by an assortment of cliff racers, kagouti, and nix hounds
>"oh good, an ancestral tomb, i can rest in there"
>enter tomb
>[heavy breathing]
>You cannot rest while enemies are nearby.

>>51491416
Maybe that player is just pretending to be retarded...

>>51489830
BEING LAWFUL HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FOLLOWING ACTUAL LAWS

>cultists about to sacrifice infant
>player "I want to fire a barrage of arrows at them"
>group "they're holding a baby"
>player "It's okay I got this"

I'm sorry ma'am, the cultists killed your child with a barrage of arrows.

>>51491528
You know, I just realised why one of the guys I played with was THAT GUY. We both love videogames but he didn't realise videogame logic does not apply

>>51491633
Eh, just dump it in the pit with the other sacrifices, no one will look too closely.

>>51491528
Palying Etrian Odyssey gave me a good tabletop feelings. Sure the story is linear and it's a RPG but there was a lot of insignificant choice that gave me the impression do really do what I want. Just asking me if I wanted to pick a random fruit was enough.

>>51491528
The king having "pockets" you can pick is already a fine example of videogame logic, unless you're seriously trying to remove some jewelry he might be wearing.

>>51491424
I think people who play Fallout3+ and Skyrim are attracted to Tabletop RPGs at first because the 2 types of games can be described similarly.

The only person that i know plays Fallout is my older brother. Though there might be players in my game who do play those games.

One of them is a real piece of work, he believes the DM should know all the rules for every class and race and that the there is no ownness on the player to know these things. He also wanted to play a Drow Stripper who was basically Stripperella. He got excited to roll stats and when he didn't like what he got he started erasing them until the DM stopped him. Then he proceeded to "forget" his character sheet for 3 sessions in a row, so he played a fighter who was a merc hired by the party. Though he was a total shit the entire time.
>me playing bird-man in 5e D&D
>character talks in third person
>find some dead bird-man bodies
>That Guy proceeds to dismember the the bodies
>takes pieces of bodies and makes himself a bird-man corpse costume
>starts flapping his "wings"
>starts talking in the third person, using my character's name

I think next time he does such a thing, i'm going to fly into the sky and start shooting firebolts and magic missiles at him.

>>51491088
>>Passing the save made us see real people as illusions for some reason

Tell your GM that he is a Titanic faggot for me, will ya?

>Rogue is stealthing his way into a bandit camp to free hostages and another player
>as soon as he gets to the first cage the that guy warlock thinks it would be funny to use mage hand to rattle the cages
>the bandits discover the rogue
>the bard decides to be stupid and uses enough AoE spells to not only kill the bandits but also kills the rogue
>ranger and warlock just sit their laughing the whole time while I the wizard try to help them
>when I confront the warlock and bard for getting the rogue killed they say they thought it would be funny

I'm pretty sure I'm gonna kill that warlock at some point, he never actually helps with combat.

>>51491528
>>51491528
This.
Players who come from a background of video games have a long and hard road ahead of them getting over the logic of games. Specifically the idea of failure. In Video Games, you basically cannot fail, you get to try and try and try again until you succeed. Many players have a hard time with that notion.

I have noticed is players getting caught in a "power trap" where they roll well one time, and do something badass, such as casting an AOE fire spell and turning 5 enemies into piles of ash. Then when confronted with a tough enemy like a boss, they will blindly try and kill it without a sense of self preservation. They will not bargain, they will not run, they will die.

Finally, i have also noticed that players who come from a background in video games also have trouble with the power of low level characters. They their level 1 characters are more than mere peasants who picked up a sword or learnt a spell.

>>51490818
Fuck yea, that's awesome

>>51491725
>ownness
It's 'onus', you anus.

>>51491705
Deus Ex did it for me. You know why? Decisions in that game are presented organically, and have consequences way down the line. So some seemingly insignificant choice you make later turns out to have had X result. You couldn't game the system by savescumming, and your decisions were prompted by actions in the game a lot of the time. For instance, you don't make some conversation choice by which your brother lives or dies. You decide to listen to his advice or not, and trigger it actually you leaving the room.

>>51491812
Yeah, I've had it a lot that players seemed to bank on DM benevolance. One of them would, without fail, have his retarded character charge any enemy. Even the big, single enemies that were obviously powerful. So he'd charge, then have half his health knocked off, and act all surprised. But son, what are you doing getting up in an Owlbear's face while the rest of your party is hanging back?

Next time, I'm going to give a clear talk about my DMing methods. And I'm going to keep a "logic set" for my encounters, which dictates how enemies will act. I want there to be a clear feel between different enemies, so the players can also anticipate what they are about to get into. Internal logic is always the most important thing in making a setting feel "real". Which, ironically, is a thing video games often get right because it's all set up beforehand.

>>51488233
I do feel the need to point out that there is technically anything wrong with that scenario. Just because you don't want to hurt some one doesn't mean you are unwilling to do so if you feel it is necessary. And breaking their legs and putting them in a choke hold if they are resisting is some what less harmful than just caving their skull in and killing them outright.

>>51491708
>you pick the king's pockets
>you find a couple of pieces of shortbread wrapped in paper
>a silver piece worn smooth over time
>some shorthand notes of current court politics including doodles of a "mister floppy" in the margins
>and a piece of string
What do they even expect to find?

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>>51488233
>Be Cleric
>fighting an angry hobo
>Invaded "his" run down town hall
>Feel the need to save him
>Tackle him to the ground
>Cast a heal on him
>Prop him back up
>Try to negotiate
>Get decked in the face so hard, I am permanently out of the fight
I'm not sure why i thought that was the proper course of action.

>>51490901
Naaah no one was killed by a possesed bed yet

>>51491347
It's called a self fulfilling prophecy.

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>>51492588

>>51491779
And the Rogue just took it from them? I am getting baited, aren't I?

>>51493488
Well he was going to kill both but being swarmed by bandits and AoE and diying ruined that plan. I also forgot to mention that the Bard killed all the hostages too, so the town that hired us refused to pay.

>>51493703
Are you still playing with them? would be my next question.

>>51493818
The rogue isn't but I am, the DM wants to use me in a plot against them.

>>51493847
Well, my advice would be to go and find a good group instead of staying with them. The rogue knows what's good for him.

>>51491812
to be fair a lot of people that play ttrpgs don't enjoy playing as a peasant with a sword. It's nice to have a character that can consistently do something.

>>51491410
mutilating a corpse for bowstrings (something you can buy for coppers on the silver) is a retarded and edgy waste of everyones time

>>51492740
This might be the most accurate contents of a king's pocket ever written down.

>>51491708
'Picking pockets' is generally an abstraction though, particularly in Bethesda games where you can strip people naked, or steal their fucking organs without their knowledge.

High enough stealth skill and can pickpocket the Forsworn's Briarheart right out their chest to instantly kill them, and possibly Daedra hearts too (though I may be misremembering the latter case.)

>>51494352
Yeah, but so is murdering a guy because he "insulted your honour".

>>51494465

Daedra hearts spawn ion death, but you can pluck brain hearts.

Mind you, ripping out brair hearts makes perfect sense.

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>>51489743
>>51490901
>>51492853
Funnily enough, I have a storytiem about possessed furniture in CoC.

>GM asks want to play some CoC tonight
>We all roll characters. Game is set during Irish revolutionary period in Ireland. Gm tell us all of the characters are part of a philatelic group, and that the investigation is going to be about a dead friend of us.
> Characters rolled. Irish drunkmen and old stuck-up ladies. We investigate about dead friend at his house.
> Having seen a good deal of scooby-doo, we decide to split-up, and make two groups of two people.
> first group is investigating ground floor, and the second inspects first floor.
>Be part of second group.
>Stumbling upon a closed door, we decide to open it like true irishmen, by kicking it open, which we do.
>There, the GM starts to describe in vivid details how a table is charging at us to make us fall in the stairs.
>Friend and I proceed to die of laughter while friend asks "When you say that that table is charging us, is it actually like...Gliding at us? Or using it's table legs to run at us ? "
>GM tell us to shut the fuck up and roll SAN.
>Critical successes
>Irish drunkmen don't give a shit, as they dodge the table which then proceeds to suicide itself in the stairs.
>We're going down to finish off the poor furniture when friend get stabbed in the fucking knee by a zombie hiding behind the stairs.
>roll SAN
>critical successes.
>Irish drunkmen yadda yadda shit not given yadda, zombie is kill.

the night that followed was like a bizarre version of evil dead where GM was trying to be really spoopy and we kept laughing our asses off critical successes on SAN, while other party members were absorbed in the void, or burnt alive by chtuga.
>See manifestation of Chtuga while being transported to another planet by ancient orb artefact.
>Critical SAN success
>Where the fuck are we, Mulligan? Is this Mars or some shit? Hope we're going back before three in the mornin' or my wife gonna be worried.

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>5e
>Start of the campaign
>Party meets trying to enter city during festival
>End up at main square where all the religious leaders are preparing to talk to the crowd
>Suddenly, arrow flies through the air and kills a bishop
>Ranger - "I draw my bow"

>>51494957
I don't see the problem.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9sn5F4uK6Y

>>51490818
Reminds me of a edge game I played a few years ago.
>Need to get off world and don't like the options GM gave us
>Decide to steal a ship from dockyard
>Droid PC starts fire to distract gaurds
>I try to hotwire ship from outside to lower entry ramp
>Fuck up and release slamming the ramp on the ground
>Immediately run inside ship
> Face to face with 4 crew playing cards in cargo hold
>Without skipping a beat " hello it seems we are having security issues at blah blah starport. We have just found some criminals attempting to steal your ship. But not to worry we have chased them off. I am here to make sure they did not damage anything more"
>Guy at table gives me an odd look and asks if he will be compensated for any damages given he paid for security
>tells him he can fill out a claim with the main office and they will take care of it, he can follow me to the main office if he wants
>Declines and says he can do it himself after this round
>"Very good sir will you need anything else from me?"
>Just tells me to leave his ship
> Me and rest of party books it
>See our faces on wanted add later as we're leaving the planet on GM approved mode of transportation

>>51491195
The DM's credibility.

>>51495074
It was an action that would set the tone for the rest of the campaign.

I wanted to play a GN paladin without a god to follow initially, so as to avoid being the annoying stereotype paladin who doesn't let the group do anything questionable. But he would consistently do things that would clearly get us in trouble with the law and make our quest that much harder. Including murdering innocent guards and breaking into places before finding any other way in. He was so far chaotic "good" that I had to play annoyingly lawful to balance him out.

A few of their actions even ended up with me being sent to prison and having to convince the city guard that I would try bring him in. He is of course wanted for questioning ala the assassination of the bishop. And I am now in the services of the city guard.

>>51489736
Ollanius Pius reborn.
Not that he needs to be, but still.

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>party is being chased by a specter manifested by the suffering and pain caused by a psychotic nurse
>it starts throwing debri and junk at them for an entire hospital's length
>they get locked in the room they stashed the corpses of the less fortunate hobos that went against it
>"Guys, we need to burn the corpses."
>wait why?
>"If we do this, the ghost will go away."
>why will it go away though?
>"Because if we burn the corpses then the ghost wont come after us."
>yes, but why will that stop it from attacking us??
>"Look, let's just try it, okay?"

>mfw they provided the ghost incendiary attacks for literaly no good reason

>>51490891
>>51490283
>>51489621
This sounds like something that would happen in one of those young hero shows like Young Justice or Teen Titans.

>>51495593
>plays a person who follows a strict moral code
>but doesn't want to follow said strict moral code
What an OxiMoron

>>51497380
Paladins were reworked in 5e so that their moral codes weren't limited to lawful alignment. Which is what I wanted to try out

>>51491633
>doing a breach and clear on hostiles
>successfully stun hostiles
>player walks in, splits his dice pool to shoot the three targets with hostages
>rolls juuuust high enough to shoot the hostages and not the enemies
>dm starts playing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVZ2NShfCE8
>we have a good laugh about it

>>51497778
Paladins shouldn't be limited to lawful good anyways.

I personally believe that adventurer paladins should have more of a CG or NG alignment, and they will do anything possible to save their citizens or to provide assistance to the meek, etc. instead of the

>kill evil. kill evil
or
>this dude was falsely acused of something.
>doesn't help cause "against the law"
type shit.

>>51497960
I feel like Paladins should fall if they stray from their alignment, but that they should be any alignment they feel like and just need to find the corresponding God for that alignment, since paladins are really just warriors serving a God they worship.

>>51491812
>idea of failure
Main reason I had to drop my old group

>>51489672
That's.....actually brave yet clever.
What matters though, is that it worked in the end.
Maybe that poor player really knew what he was doing.

>>51491088
Gotta say, dick DM.
What were the wisdom saves even for then?

>>51492740
You wouldn't even find that much in any self-respecting ruler's pocket/pouch/robe folds assuming he has any. Maybe the silver piece or some other nostalgia trinket and the string. Carrying his own snacks or notes is too vulgar unless you sneaked past every guard to find him alone in his bedchambers, he would have certainly changed his clothes for an audience. You would have better luck trying to steal from his valets.

>>51497252
>Young Justice
>being that dumb

No it sounds like the kinda stupid bullshit jokes Marvel has been writing for like the past half decade. Because being funny and quirky is better than having super heroes have relatable problems that a mass audience can understand.

>>51489515
>telling them their alignment shifted
Let them find out after an NPCs casts an inopportune Detect spell.

>>51499364
>players assume a King wears something with pockets

>>51488233
>The village is being invaded by bandits
>"Okay, I start casting a spell"
>How long does it take?
>"Ten minutes"
>Bandits are cutting down women and children left and right while this asshole just stands in the town center
>I don't even run initiative because there's no point, I just mathematically work out how many villagers are slaughtered every round
>Ten minutes is up and this asshole gets to cast his spell
>It's hallucinatory terrain
>He wants to cloak the village so the bandits can't find it
>I remind him that the bandits are already here and dozens are already dead
>I also remind him that hallucinatory terrain can't conceal manmade structure

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>>51500995
What was he even thinking

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>>51501027
He wasn't.

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>>51501027

>>51500995
I'm confused that you let him cast "a spell" for ten minutes in a pretty chaotic situation without first asking him what the spell was. Also that the bandits completely ignored the mage casting some big fucking spell in the town center, and that the rest of the party did nothing to help the villagers either.

>>51501182
The rest of the party simply wasn't there. The rest I'll chalk up to equal parts my curiosity and my policy of giving players enough rope.

>>51501208
Fair enough.

>>51501182
Maybe the bandits made their Spellcraft check.

>>51489743
oh shit, i'm dying, this shit is not supposed to make me laugh but it is!

>>51497855
You're not my dad, Terminator!

>>51497855
God damn it!
I hate this stupid movie!
I hate this stupid theme song!
Why does it always make me cry?

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>>51501511
This fucking movie is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Its never not going to be my favorite movie.

I'm going to finish reading "Crime and Punishment" when i'm 70 and when my grandson asks me, "Whats your favorite movie grandpa?"

Terminator 2 soon. Greatest Movie of All Time.

>>51501573
We can't escape who we are, anon.

>>51501573
You're going to carry that weight.

>>51501573
I bet you this movie is popular with sons who's fathers have died.

>>51501619
why in the fuck is that song so upbeat? Is it supposed to convey a sense of melancholy irony? Cause I just ain't feeling it.

>>51501638
I think it's supposed to be bittersweet - it sucks, but at the same time Spike got what he wanted. So he's happy, we're sad.

>>51501710
No, you fucking idiot, I'm talking about the Beatles song.

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>>51501710
>>51501720

Sorry, low blood sugar

>>51499393

I wouldn't put it past New Warriors or X-Statix. And Nextwave.

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>>51488233
>Running Kingmaker, there's pic related in the party plus a weedlord who is actually good at roleplaying but generally sticks to playing himself or this hilarious fat redneck character named Bubby
>In this game, he is Bubby, and the 'literal retard' is a paladin
>Party is fighting some stupid fairy monsters underground, there's like a big centipede monster that gives them trouble but the paladin dives down and manages to kill it
>he is however knocked unconscious by the fall damage
>Bubby is a gunslinger, who is sitting at the top of the ravine overlooking the fallen paladin and dead centipede, and he's been having some problems with the paladin this game
>Nonchalantly takes his musket, levels it down at the paladin and fires, as the rest of the party is still fighting off some enemies elsewhere
>He misses, the party hears the shot though and asks if they're alright in there
>Bubby just says "Yep" and starts reloading his musket
>Continues to fire and miss the paladin in the ravine, at this point it's been like eight rounds of him trying to get the kill on the paladin, everyone knows exactly what's up, even IC, but they all have good reasons to want the paladin dead anyways
>Eventually he does manage to kill the paladin, and when questioned about it by another party member, he just denies any involvement

The scene of this fat redneck firing a musket down at his unconscious party member, missing, reloading, and then calmly trying again until he finally hit the bastard has always struck me as comedy gold.

Perhaps even more hilarious though is that the paladin player was extremely buttmad about it and wanted me to let him come back to the game as a druid who had seen visions of his paladin getting killed, so he could enact vengeance on Bubby. He is still rustled about it to this day, actually, and the rest of the group laughs about it openly to his face.

>>51488233
>If they won't come out and talk to us, let's just blow up a house. They'll have to talk to us then.

Later that night

>shoots driver in the face, then gets in the backseat, holding a fat guy at gunpoint
>"I just want to talk"

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>>51501835
By the way, if I didn't make this clear enough, the 'stupid rich kid' in that pic was the paladin in question. Here's a picture of Bubby as well.

>>51501870
Another Bubby story

So we're playing GURPS, and the campaign idea doesn't matter much but basically we're a bunch of misfits with like no training who need to save President Bill Clinton from cannibals or aliens or something along those lines, we're not sure what. Bubby is our heavy weapons guy, I mean literally, he's like 300 lbs and he's got about a quarter of that in weapons and explosives on his person.

So we're hovering over this airfield in a helicopter and me and the other PC are debating whether we should fast-rope down or land or what.

Bubby isn't paying much attention to that discussion, but he eventually butts in and says, "Alright you faggots, I'm gonna jump, see you on the ground."

So he jumps, out of the helicopter, about 40ft off the ground, with a backpack full of weapons and explosives.

He sticks the landing, actually - I mean he broke both his ankles and had to be dragged around afterwards, but he fucking jumped out and made it. Got about as a good a roll you can manage on acrobatics or whatever it was to avoid death, and he shrugged that shit off. This fucking fat redneck jumped out of a helicopter straight into a firefight.

Always a great game when Bubby is around.

>stabs pirate we tied up in the stomach
>yeah we'll just let him go and maybe they'll forgive us

>>51488233
>Party pursues baddie into a library
>Wizard player says "I cast burning hands"
>I tell him I'll give him a moment to think about that while laughing incredulously
>Wizard realizes what he's about to do and does something else
>Druid immediately says "I cast flame seed" as soon as it's his turn
>Everyone shares a look
>"You... uhh... you sure about that?"
>Says of course he's sure and acts affronted
>Rolls a maximum damage crit
>The guy they were trying to capture and interrogate gets absolutely fucking wrecked, the library that also has the information they're looking for somewhere inside is on fire and the druid is apologizing profusely to everyone at the table as he realizes what he's done

I was running a game for a couple of friends who are new to RPGs

>both thief-type characters
>had them start in a city with a bunch of jobs on a bulletin board in front of them
>they pick the caravan run job.
>fast forward a bit, the players suspect there's some great loot because they're getting paid so well
>it's actually a completely mundane caravan route, full of mundane things and maybe money at the most.
>they spend their nights looking in the caravan carts and finding nothing
>fast forward a bit. one hatches a plan to get information from another guard
>basically one goes to hide in a tree and the other challenges the guard to a footrace to get him under said tree
>plan works, one player is in a tree and the other beat the guard in the footrace so he arrives under the tree first
>player in tree drops down and starts beating the shit out of the guard for some reason
>other player joins in
>realize they fucked up. take the guy's shoes and money to make it look like bandits or something
>the player that was in the tree sneaks back to the caravan train, while the other player walks back normally
>he gets questioned because some people saw him run that race.
>gets hog tied and thrown in the back of a caravan
>i let the other player talk his buddy out of custody (being nice/shit GM)

I blame Skyrim for the whole "everything in existence is valuable to the player" thing.

>NWOD
>Everyone fresh outta the box mages
>Playing a Forces/Material mage
>We awaken after watching friend at party read some demon shit and get himself (as well as a weird guy in a trench coat) exploded
>Everyone else in the house party dies and we're the only ones left
>Turns out Weird Guy was vampire servant of even older vampire
>We're glamoured out of prison
>Given task to break into a house where party took place and recover anything that might be magic
>Cops show up
>Vampire told us he knew a guy in the police force
>"I think his name was Connor. I don't remember." Was his exact quote
>I'm in a bad enough spot where I can't break out like the rest of party
>Walk out with my hands up
>"Before you arrest me, is one of your names Connor?"
>Instantly set upon by policeman
>Burn every 2 dot force spell I got, flinging everything across the room and exploding a city block with a power outage
>As I escape party members asked me what I did.
>"I panicked."

>>51501866
Sounds like Shadowrun to me!

>"And when they look in the Yellowpages, we'll be the only listed Aardvark Exterminators!"

>>51501340
"Hey, Wiz, what's that dude doing over there?"
"Hmm... Oh, it's okay guys, it's just some retard. Hey, I called dibs on the brunette!"

>>51497778
There was a very good thread where a guy discussed just why paladins should only be allowed to join a party of good guys and would only stay briefly with a group of neutrals and never, ever associate with an evil character. That was a really good read, in my opinion.

>>51489235

Back in the day, we had this funny exchange between my character (pirate captain) and two other PC's.

>Captain: "The two of you's look like you can handle yourself in a fight. How about you join me crew?"
>Fighter: "Yeah, uhh.. thanks for the offer, but unfortunately it looks like your crew's full right now."
>Rogue: "What he said. A ship like that? Don't wanna get too crowded. Then you get lice, sanity issues.. we'll just better be on our way. Wish there was room, though!"
>Pirate Captain calmly pulls two flintlocks from his brace of pistols and without saying a word, shoots two nearby NPC pirates dead.
>Pirate: "Well, lucky you, seems like we just got an opening"
>Rogue and Fighter: "Fuck."

>>51504089
That's amusing but I'm not sure callously eliminating your older crew members during the headhunt is a good way to encourage others to join your criminal enterprise.

>>51504205
Some people have more good luck than brains

>>51495920
They might have been operating under the rule that salting and burning a corpse forces its ghost away forever

>>51504012
I'd like to see this thread if you have a hint for me to archive hunt with.

>>51503042
retarded magefag detected.

>>51504252
I'm searching for it. I'll let you know if I find it.

>>51504012
as someone who plays paladins ALOT i'd have to disagree. Mostly because some of the best adventures i've had were because the evil party members had to keep shit from me.

Nothing like a good amount of suterfudge.

Also THAT GUY stories;

>Playing homebrew narrative style game in the fallen London world
>Party of three, Super intelligent ape named 'Osmin", SquidLord, Lord of Squid (my character, sapient squid that walked and had a cloak) a human who believed he was a dragon (THAT GUY, Steve, was told he could not be a dragon but believes that roleplaying is whatever HE as a player decides and that a player can do anything, we never successfully broke this)
>We wake up in prison, over hanging the city
>all in shackles
>Steve: 'i break the chains with my dragon strength'
>Dm: "you fail because you are human and those are iron"
>Steve: 'No i'm a dragon"
>Dm: "No, i told you, you are human, dragons are not a thi-"
>Steve"Dragon"
>DM:-Sigh-

>We eventually break out, SquidLord Squiding things to death and Osmin generaly being a monkey dickhead and throwing people off our prison
>Steve still trying to break out of chains 'with his dragon streagth' the whole time
>fast forward a few and we are finally getting our chains off by a helpful Blacksmith
>Osmin gets his taken off without a word
>SquidLord is reminded that he is a squid and shackles do not work on him (they slide off without a beat missed)
>Steve is told he in not a dragon (the player was becoming a dick about it) and that claiming he is one will probably catch the eye of some one
>we leave, he is seduced by a demon immediately (failed a good number of checks and ignored the META owl)
>told he can be a dragon if he removes his 'Outer Shell'
>Player super excited
>proceeds to 'transform' in the middle of the street
>starts trying to rip off his own skin
>rolls, crits 'Taking off his outer shell'
>dies from blood loss because he ripped off his own skin
>He's butt hurt, but the dms face was priceless.

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>>51501835
>>51501992
My fucking Sides

>>51504644
>if I just believe I'm a thing I'm a thing
>despite the setting and rules saying completely otherwise

Oh my god this is pure douche-tier.

Do you perhaps have any kind of system writeup though? Sounds interesting, like a more humble Eclipse Phase.

>>51501835
My god, a whole party of That Guys, why do you even still play with this group?

At one game our group encountered some kind of elves riding with spider mounts and I wanted one spider for myself.
Anyway, I used 'command' to get the spider as my short-lived mount-pet.
I could only use one word with the command spell and after a short thought I ended up with 'arachnophobia' and the elf failed at resisting and ended up shitting himself at the top of the spider, jumping off it, tripping in mid air and getting pierced to death by one of his spider's legs.
I had fun with the spider but I fell off and it ran away.

>>51504668
Sadly no, this was years ago while we were exploring game types.

But;
It was basically the Fallen London game system in RP, gained stats as you succeed or fail, gained items with ambiguous names, and skills were handled in the same way. It was hella fun, but really simple and more so we could have a story.

And yes, he was a shit tier RPer too. I did like his cleric of multiple gods thing, till he got wired with it.

God of rape (sorry, sex) took over one time, tried to rape the one person my coked out CE Gnome Rouge liked. That was the end of both Link (makes sense in context) and our cleric... at least for that cycle.

>>51504712
Bubby is cool, seems to take the misfortune he brings on himself in stride.

>>51504729
I'll have to look into it. Shit though, he sounds like a real piece of work.

>>51504712
It can be a good time.

>>51504644
The post I mention talked specifically about how a paladin should leave the group if they do not share his good will: it also went on to say that the paladin should confront evil people when he has knowledge that said people are evil.

If your party is evil and keeps it a secret from you, that's good for them. But paladins have, generally, pretty okay-high wisdom. I do not think that evil would be able to escape his notice for very long.

>>51504740
Its why i don't play with him anymore. He made a lot of games un fun. He even brought over the dragon thing into the next thing we played.

this time i ran it, and since it was a sort of collective narrative thing (still trying out playstyles, this one i am making into a system proper soon), he did indeed get to be a 'Dragon'. He then proceeded to vent everyone into the vacume of space and declair that his 'Dragonness' (actually just bio modified to breath fire and have scales) saved him.

I walked out and havn't spoken to him again. the other guys were cool though, so implay with them.

>>51504785
Jesus fuck I could not deal with this guy for one second. Was there something wrong with him, or was he more like one of those normies who just doesn't -get- RPGs?

>>51504782
it usually didn't, and at that point clever player kicks in.

If the paladin needs people to help him do something, and the good guys don't want to, and he has a sack of cash, evil party members it is.

I've always though about it like this, Cops can work with anyone they want (effectively) and still get to keep their cop powers. as long as they don't do, or condone, evil behavior, they arn't evil themselves. If a player did something actually evil in front of me, they got told off, or smote, but generally though i knew they did evil shit, they didn't act that way around me, so that's what mattered n the end.

Basically, i don't blame someone for being evil, i only punish them for doing evil things

>>51504797
the answer to your questions is a simple Yes, and No with a complex that's for both questions attached. he was an odd one for sure, and i'm pretty strange myself.

>>51504830
>Yes, and No with a complex that's for both questions attached
Now I'm intrigued.

>>51504862
He's a nerd, plays vida games and does actually roleplay really well, If he's running the game, otherwise he's an asshat.

Slightly Asperger's, can score some of the hottest chicks i've happen to met, and super charismatic when he wants to be.

He just acts like a child when he's told he can't have/do/be something.

>>51504888
That's extremely odd, and fascinating. I would want to slap him, but stay his acquaintance to also study and question him at the same time.

>>51504899
pretty much how i operated.

then i raged.

>>51504830
>>51504252
Aha, I found it!

Here's how I paladin:

The Paladin is sworn to honour.
His heart knows only virtue.
His blade defends the helpless.
His word speaks only truth.
His wrath undoes the wicked.

Taken from http://forums.riftgame.com/game-discussions/adventures-telara/role-play-forums/1259-roleplaying-paladin-walking-path-truth.html

In my opinion, the uncompromising good paladin is the best way to play a LG Chivalrous Knight in shining armour

>>51504913
I don't blame you. In his throes of "I wanna be X" and shit, did you ever just flat out ask him why he wanted to so strongly go against the setting and specifically play X?

>>51504919
The Paladin is sworn to honour.
>life is precious, and evil is that which extinguishes it
His heart knows only virtue.
>Kindness and compassion and understanding are virtues
His blade defends the helpless.
>so do the blades of the rouge over there
His word speaks only truth.
>the truth he knows and the truth of the world are two different things
His wrath undoes the wicked.
>he must be careful not to be wicked with his wrath

I usually play uncompromisingly good paladins, but also intelligent ones who aren't Lawful Stupid, but actually Lawful Good. Knowing there is a sliding scale of good and evil isn't being compromising, it's being clever.

Also our campaigns when i'm a paladin usually end in me burring the evil characters or anointing them under my god. Win some, bury some.

>>51505041
That's how the thread describes playing paladins too, though

>>51504945
i did and he responded with 'It's my character and i can be whatever i want' rhetoric. I mean, i've been that guy, i once played (in a superhero campaign) a super intelligent bear named Bear who floated above the ground and shot tentacle lasers. You know why i got away with it? i made it work in the setting/rule set, i didn't whine when it went tits up, and the things i got told NO with, i accepted. I also like to role play weird characters.

I don;'t mind you being strange, or having an out of place character, but if the GM says no, you listen. GM has last word. Always.

>>51489608
My thoughts exactly.

>>51505105
yeah, read through it, pretty much on the nose.

I always tell new paladins: killing evil is good, but only if they are currently doing evil, otherwise you are a dick.

Can't smite for smite's sake.

Ofc this goes out the window when dealing with monsters who attack on sight (a surprising amount), but that's just be savvy enough not be eaten by a bear.

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>>51489581

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>>51505662

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>>51505662

I've been playing a 4e session with a group of friends for about a year now and I gotta ask about my character for fear of me being That Guy.
>Make regular dude from a No-name family that's out in the world to try and make his name famous.
>Character started off as a kinda coward artificer, sticking with a party of capable people.
>Many sessions later, we have a timeskip in-game, my character is with a new group of PCs and is now kinda of a dick because of the people he used to walk with, who were dicks as well.
>Still trying to be a hero and all, but can get violent or try and blackmail/use people, as long as the public eye doesn't know about and still sees him as a good guy, while most of my group is against that kind of stuff.
>They bitch about it in-game and the lawful good bard is constantly telling him stuff like "he's no hero" and "I don't trust you", which causes our characters to get in arguments and stuff.
So, am I That Guy? I really don't want to make my group angry and think of me as a problem, plus the DM has said that he likes my character.

>>51490821
Because She probably knows the fighter would destroy her Because PC vs PC fighter tends to easily beat ranger.

>>51506273
>So, am I That Guy? I really don't want to make my group angry and think of me as a problem,
Talk to them ooc.
Ask if the way you are playing your character is negatively affecting their enjoyment of the game.
If so, consider lightening up your character's dickishness and discuss it with the group.
Subjectively, your character sounds fine to me and I would enjoy having my NG character chastise yours for unscrupulous methodology.
Generally, if you are concerned about the other players' fun and not being "That Guy", then you aren't That Guy.

>>51506273
in-character conflict is great, don't be silly. sounds like you have a complex character that leads to interesting in-character drama

>>51488233
Not sure if it would count but on a hunch my character threw a pair of vibroswords in a star wars game and nailed 2 people from the door of our ship as soon as the door openes

>>51497960
Paladins have to be lawful in the sense of keeping their word, not betraying people and keeping order.
Lawful doesn't just mean not breaking laws.

>>51489912
>morality
>imaginary
Found the degenerate.

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>>51488233
>VtR
>guy makes non-combat character
>his basic attack is a goddamn chance roll
>enters combat anyway
>frenzies
>gets his shit kicked in and the threat of him dying is very real
>remind him that getting a hold over the Beast and running away is an option
>"No, I'll keep frenzying"

Then he got detained by orderlies and ragequitted because he couldn't fight with his non-combat character and I didn't just save him by GM fiat. Doubly annoying because he had made probably the most interesting character in that game and I had plans of tying his backstory to the overlining plot.

>>51505662
This needs an exclamation point after the "Sorry".

>Level 3 party of basically nobodies
>Want to get into the estate of the richest and most powerful man in the city
>Man has a gate (that they don't know is magical) around his estate, guarded by a gruff middle-aged gatekeeper
>Gatekeeper isn't letting them in, has no reason to
>Before rest of the party can work out any diplomatic solutions, problem player sneaks up behind gatekeeper and puts an arrow into his neck
>Looks for a key or a lever to open gate
>Just a bell
>Bell signals gatekeeper on other side of gate
>Notices the murder

And that's how the party started a city-wide chase scene that I hadn't planned for.

>>51504729
How does the "cleric of multiple gods" thing work? I haven't played a D&D game yet, but I want to, and that sounds interesting. Does the cleric just get "posessed" by one god at a time, or do they have access to all of them at once?

>>51506753
Found the simplistic and naïve one.

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>>51509793
>durr hurr morality is fake, personal boundaries are scary and lawmakers are witches

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>>51489581
>>51505662
>>51508732
>This needs an exclamation point after the "Sorry".

>>51509840
Taking a stereotype and running with it, eh? I'm not >>51489912, by the way, but I agree that morality is a social construct.

Personal boundaries aren't "scary" and lawmakers aren't witches (wtf??).

I just think that morality is subjective in the extreme. "Good" and "Evil" aren't things that the universe runs on - it's a matter of human perspective, it's a category we assign things into so that they're easier to digest. A black and white situation is easier for our brains to understand - this good, that bad. It helps us function better - imagine if you COULDN'T categorize things this way at a glance. Literally EVERYTHING, all the time, was in a "moral grey area" and you had to think about it, really think about it.

>>51489515
What's the deal with rangers being played by retards? I've never been at a table with a ranger that wasn't a complete fucking idiot

>>51504230
If that's what they were going with, it would have been a good thing to tell me. I would have probably made the specter be unable to reach them for as long as the fire was going +1-2 hours.

The only thing the guy who popped the idea up said was "we must burn the bodies" and never provided any info as to why.

>>51510120
Huh, I guess I always assumed "Cremation = no more ghost" was common superstition-knowledge. Is it not?

>>51510191
Can't say I heard that one before. It is possible for WoD specters to be anchored to corpses, but they would leave the moment said corpses rotted away too much. Although this one ghost was anchored to the hospital itself and wasn't really a dead person's ghost, but an evil entity materializing due to a concentration of negative emotion (yes, it's an actual thing from the book.)

Again, I could have worked with it if they told me something like that, maybe have it be a rite that repulses the ghost itself, but after having all the info about the damn thing and doing diddly squat about has cemented this little stunt in group infamy.

Along with
>"I punch the ghost"
>Your punches go right through it, missing it completely
>"I'm punching it again"

>>51491559
<No one has ever aid something so stupid

>>51492530
>You couldn't game the system by savescumming,
You're just not good enough at savescumming. But yeah your actual point was good.

>>51488233
>hunt down a group of cultists
>they're in the process of giving a god a mortal form with their blood
>party surrounds the building with gatling guns during the ceremony
>opens fire
>more fire
>even more
>wizard freezes blood remains; crushes them into a fine paste
>cowboy mercenary turns blood snow into a blood snowman

>>51509840
>personal boundaries are scary
Where the fuck that come from
>morality is fake
morality is biased toward selflessness you mean
>lawmakers are witches
No they're megalomaniacal assholes that we as individuals in a society need to be able to have more say in what they can and can't do in terms of lawmaking

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>>51489672
That's the kinda cool shit that your party will talk about for the rest of their lives.

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>>51488233
This is one of mine.

>OW
>Just run into some Chaos Spawn things and an Eldar Farsser
>Being Sergeant I order everyone to attack, everyone who doesn't will be executed for being a coward and a traitor
>Return to camp after some awesome combat and me trying to murder the Farseer
>Get kidnapped by an Inquisitor
>Immediately go into kidnapping mitigation mode - IE making sure the Inquisitor knows our cooperation isn't free
>After some bullshit we get a servo-skull watcher
>Smash it, because fuck the Inquisitor for strapping bomb collars around our necks. Only the shitty RP TechPriest tried to negotiate with the Xeno
>Kill party accidentally by forcing Inquisitor to blow all of our collars
>mfw

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>>51512011
>>51512011
Oh shit! Wrong image.

>>51509947
Not that anon, but while morality is subjective, objective good and objective evil cannot be proven to not exist.

People (not necessarily you) who assert that morality is relative are effectively dismissing morality and often just being edgy cunts.
Suggesting that morality is imaginary and anyone who doesn't think so is simplistic and naive is the behavior of a flag waving asshole convinced their beliefs make them superior and all their actions are justified.

>>51510191
>I always assumed "Cremation = no more ghost" was common superstition-knowledge. Is it not?
>>51510402
>Can't say I heard that one before.
It is on Supernatural.
I believe it has roots in Judaism and Christianity, but I am far from an expert.
Something about destruction of the body affecting the soul.
I remember a conversation about how it was fucked up in the dogma that fire victims are just screwed.
I dunno.

>>51512417
What I was trying to say with >>51509793 was, morality can't really be proven from a cosmological perspective. That some one saying it's imaginary isn't being degenerate, but rather having an open mind. On the other hand, being unwilling to accept even the concept of that made >>51506753 a simplistic and close-minded individual.

That being said, I can see now how my comment could be percieved in a different way, so thank you for pointing it out. It wasn't my intention.

>>51512510
Sounds made up, I've never heard anything like this. As far as I know Judaism and Christianity (being Jewish myself and raised with Catholics, pretty similar to Christians) have nothing against cremation.

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>>51510618
>>group of cultists in the process of giving a god a mortal form with their blood
>>cowboy mercenary turns blood snow into a blood snowman

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>>51512645
Yeap.
The real issue Christians (the crazy fundies at least) have with cremation is that then you aren't coming back during the Second Coming.

God really isn't making it easy for me to love my neighbor when said neighbor is a dogmatic idiot.

>>51512623
>morality can't really be proven from a cosmological perspective.
Nor can it be disproven
>>51512623
>That some one saying it's imaginary isn't being degenerate, but rather having an open mind
It's actually the opposite of having an open mind.
It is asserting that morality does not exist.
Saying "Morality might be just imaginary." could be having an open mind.

But you're right, saying it's imaginary isn't being degenerate.
But mostly degenerates would say that.
It's like wearing only cutoffs in a kiddie pool on a dead lawn in a crappy trailer park doesn't mean you're white trash.

>>51512645
Catholic here, cremation is fine. Anything to do with cremation being bad is either pagan or insane 'christians'.

On a related note (in my religion at least), Lawful good is an ideal, more than anything. You strive constantly to act as morally as you can, and you seek out redemption and atonement for your failures. It's only possible assuming a forgiving deity, and a well developed conscience.

But in the end if you try to be a good person overall that's what really matters, regardless of the law, your religion, or the side effects of your actions.

>>51506753
Spook

>>51512645
>Sounds made up
Probably just took
>>51512718
>you aren't coming back during the Second Coming.
and applied it to any ghosts coming back.
I like Supernatural's take on stuff, but they are as inaccurate as hell.

>>51512718
>that image

As a Jew I keked.
Fucking hate my nose though.

Opposite to popular belief, SJWs, people can find jokes at their expense funny also.

>>51501992
your stories are terrible and your character is awful.
shut up.

>>51512881
>That some one saying it's imaginary isn't being degenerate, but rather having an open mind.

Okay, my brain derped there, I will admit that. I guess I just made the connection of "belief in morality = popular opinion" so if you didn't think that, you were having an open mind. As if belief in something popular and being open-minded were mutually exclusive.

>>51504712
If everyone is that guy, nobody is.

>>51512011
>>51512025
Still sorta works

>>51513086
Ah, sounds like simple confusion between "belief in something popular" and "conforming to popular belief".
No worries.

>>51504894
3.5e Paladins are some of the worst shit. They're probably one of the biggest offenders of the "House Rule This Or Suck" Syndrome that's rampant in 3.5e (and to a lesser extent, PF).

At least 5e Paladins don't have to be LG 100% of the time.

>>51513305
W-what the fuck? This is the INTERNET, this is 4CHAN!
We can't come to a reasonable conclusion!

FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID FAGGOT

>>51514180
Your post made me laugh, you chuckle-fucking shitrooster!

>>51509968
It's always been Rogue in my experience. All this Ranger retardation is new stuff to me.

>>51506273
The chief component of being That Guy is obliviousness. If you have to ask whether you're That Guy, you're not That Guy.

Not yet.

>>51488233
>surrounded by a bunch of barbarian hunters in the middle of the jungle
>"...Parley?"
This was me, and it worked.

>>51489616
The second one just sounds like you being a spiteful prick for no reason

>>51488233
hired hookers for all but two of the 47 mooks guarding the floor of the building we needed to infiltrate.
>"Because hiring one for each of them would be too convenient and suspicious."

>Low level bandit encounter shouldnt be too hard
>Holy shit why is this so hard?
>healer and glass cannon wizard captured leaving knight and ranger to either pay ransom or try to rescue
>Sneak over to cave their kept in knight goes in and starts wrecking shit
>Ranger:I fire into the cave!
>You know you cant see anything past 30 feet right?
>I believe!
>Nat1
>Ok roll for hitting
>Nat20
>Fucking one shots our knight unconscious
>Bandits thinking its one of their scouts yells out congrats and to come in
>Thinking fast the ranger strips a dead scout and walks in wearing his bloody ripped barely fitting clothes
>Hello fellow bandits what do you say we all go get some drinks on me! Il guard the prisoners.
>Rolls once the table calms
>11 or something mundane
>Looks at me worried
Needless to say their contractor was pretty fucking pissed he had to pay the ransom but they payed him back. Even found the bandits later on when they were about 5 levels higher. Was not a good day for the bandits.

>Playing with a Fighter in the party
>After the first combat encounter, he goes to check if there's anything useful he can take from the nearby horse corpse
>One Survival roll later, DM says that he gets a hoof. Just a hoof.
>He keeps it.
>And in the next fight throws it at a goblin.
>And misses.
>All the other players see is a fucking hoof sailing in to the dense forest in the distance.
>He later proceeds to get downed three times in as many encounters, twice by wolves.

And in our newest campaign he's playing some thing from Pathfinder called a Wyrwood that the DM let him play as a Rogue. The first thing he did in combat was shank a bandit in the throat and drag his body away. After the fight he pulled JUST the other two human corpses away next to the first and proceeded to dissect them over a short rest.

>>51509889
>PC Dumas

Holy kek my sides

>>51520318
Always gratifying when an anon notices the little details.

>>51520318
addun gettit.

Alexandre Dumas reference ?

>>51521149
Dumas - Dumbass
you dumb ass

>>51521212
http://vocaroo.com/i/s15l7iZ3fi6J
That's counterintuitive as fuck to non-Burgers

>>51521276
First of all: most languages I know would pronounce it du-mas not du-ma
Second: I'm not even a burger, and I still managed to deduce it from the context

>>51521310
>most languages
Except the one he was writing in

A seneschal in my last Rogue Trader game
>Pretends to be an Inquisitor for no reason, and even attempts to confront a Ghost with his non-existant Inquisitor powers and ends up losing a leg.
>After helping to save a mining station from pirates he requests a single ingot of titanium as a reward. As soon as it is given to him he says he wants to find a cosmetic surgeon who will cut grooves into his face and pour the molten titanium into those grooves so his face can be covered in spiral titanium patterns.
>Almost dies several times as a result of having no fate points. Literally the session after he is given one fate point back as a session reward he burns it to succeed on an acquisitions tests to get a shiny upgrade for his gun.
>Keeps a kill-counter which he increases by the thousands every ship fight since he has the highest ballistic skill and thus is the one making the targeting calculations, and he repeatedly brags that this kill-counter means that he is technically more proficient at killing than Space Marines.

A Dwarf in my last WFRP campaign
>A small village is mourning the deaths of a young woman
>People are sitting in the small tavern, quietly drowning their sorrows in drink
>Dwarf PC walks in, declares that people are "mourning incorrectly", and proceeds to "correct" them by downing a pitcher of ale and then trying to start a "Jolly barfight" but smashing the barmaid over the head with a bottle of wine.
>He doesn't understand why it doesn't work and he is instead ordered to leave town.
>He decides to "punish" the village for resisting his "helpful advice" and so he walks to the town well and takes a shit in it.

Halfling PC in last Pathfinder campaign
>First session
>Is told that there is a single human village located in the Halfling lands, containing no more than a hundred humans
>PC decides that even a single human living in the Halfling lands is too much and decides his goal in life is to genocide the filthy invading humans

>>51521149
>>51521276
>>51521361
https://youtu.be/tMe3WDmxBEI

>>51512011
>everyone who doesn't will be executed for being a coward and a traitor
That's a Commissar's job, not the Sergeant's. A Sergeant does not have that kind of power and will be executed himself if found to have done so.

>>51490695
Double amputee puss?

>>51488233
>Warlock casts an AoE thunder spell in the middle of the party to hit all the mooks surrounding us
>tells the party to "Cover your ears!"
>kills himself and another PC because no, covering your ears does not actually prevent you from taking damage

>>51521679
Well, technically never said I would execute them myself. Completely snitched on the TechPriest who wanted to negotiate with the Eldar. Not like it mattered.

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>>51505662

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>>51489644
>I shoot her in the back as she is walking away

>>51525899
A Commissar still needs more evidence than just someone snitching on someone else, because yeah they too can get in trouble for executing the wrong people. I just think it's a real dick move for a Sergeant to pull, like there are other, more appropriate ways to rule your squad by fear.

>>51528929
When we saw the Eldar in character the order was to cleanse the Xenos, don't talk to them at all. The first moment someone hesitated I doubled down on the order.

Cowardice, fraternization with the enemy, disobeying a direct order, and heresy. I think that's more than enough to get someone's skull ventilated via boltshell.

>>51529009
Right, but a Commissar still needs to see some evidence of that. I'm just saying, the whole "I will get you executed" thing doesn't hold water as a Sergeant unless you have some super gullible squad, because unless the Commissar can find evidence of heresy on them after the fact or unless you have some records/footage of them being heretical, the Commissar you snitch to won't be able to just execute them.

>>51529009
If I had a penny for every time a 40K fan used the word "heresy" wrong, I'd be able to run a smelter.

>>51489616
>and also that that is an evil act and she is CN

Not only is it not an Evil act, but CN characters are not prohibited from committing Evil acts anyway.

>guard catches him and drags him off to take a bath, angry that he is stinking up the city
>he is baffled and angry when the high priest won't let the party into the cathedral after this, out of game
>in the middle ages, when disease was spread easily
>party, in game, votes his character out of the group since they were pissed IC at what he did, and he concealed his actions from everyone other than the one other player
>he gets mad out of game and causes drama

This went from comic relief to full on autism. A DM should ensure 'realistic consequences' to player actions, but not as a fuck you to the player. Players need to be given reasonable options to deal with these consequences, like, in this case, waiting outside the temple. Your group were being shitlords about it too.

>>51489672

GM throwing a stupid player a bone. Can't really blame them desu, but it is a fudge.

>>51489672
I can see this happening, especially if no other noble liked the one the PC killed, and if they didn't know about the secret torture dungeon.

>>51530326
What rolls were supposedly fudged?

Nobles might be interested in the motives and story behind the murder even if they don't fully believe the character, or do you think they just should have instantly killed him in your book so doing otherwise is "throwing a bone"?

I agree the player is a little stupid for not trying to look for some evidence to bring although that might have led to the murder being discovered and him being caught before he could turn himself in.
If he had just ran then it certainly would have been covered up and spun as a horrible random violence by a dangerous deviant thief or something and the character would be on the run indefinitely.

>>51530293
What, the high priest is a germaphobe and has all the guards report any uncleanliness to him?

Plenty of people had jobs in medieval times sifting through waste and travellers like adventurers might not be the cleanest before bathing, which the guard dragged the character off to do.
That's not even considering that it's not actually the middle ages but a fantasy world with dwarves and high priests that can cure disease vaguely based on attributes from a bunch of different eras and cultures since by all indications it's an average d&d world.

Seems like autism and shitlording all around including in your appraisal.