ITT: Funny D&D stories >go to port town >talk to

>5e
>rolling characters 4d6d1
>rolls: 3, 10, 11, 16, 17, 18
>DM asks if I want to reroll 3
>nah, il take it
>roll up a 10 year old human variant monk with 3 str, has 19AC and is fucking shit up
>have to really fucking worry about encumbrance rules
>playing "drunken monk" school fluff background
>first session, character asked bartender for a beer. DM forces insight check. Fail. Bartender gives me non alcoholic drinks
>pretend to get drunk, always order same non alcoholic drink believing I get drunk
>hit level 3, ask DM if I can use UA material
>says he has to clear it, does
>choose Kensei path, buy greatsword
>jaws drop on table
>yeah, it's my Kensei weapons, I use dex for it
>take GWM at level 4
>proceed to pretend to be drunk and fuck shit up all the time

>be me, average player at group
>party going along doing party thing
>suddenly VERY CRAZY AND UNEXPECTED THING happens to us
>all hope lost
>i roll to do ABSURD THING that stops this
>nat-fucking-20
>more like a 16 with stat bonuses added in but still NAT20
>GM describes, IN DETAIL (because no GM ever goes into detail, amirite?) what I do to TERRIBLE THING
>many laffs and bants
>ultimately become a legend in-universe because that's how good I am
>literally became the best player
>this story is real

Every fucking time. These stories are never funny because they all rely on someone with either a max Bluff/somethingelse stat or a NAT20 as the punchline. Come up with something original, you actual faggots.

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>>51358009
>>roll nat 20

>>51358009
DUDE NAT 20 LMAO XDD

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>>51358009
>roll nat 20
Epic! I have never managed to roll a nat 20!

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>>51358009
>roll persuasion check to see if I can enslave him
How does this even work? "Hey man, do you want to be my slave?" "Sure, sounds like fun."

A le ebin dank nat 4-20 [airhorns] isn't an auto-succeed anything when it comes to skill checks.

I'm going to roll a acrobatics check to see if I can jump up and land on the moon. -1 acrobatics? Not a problem, I rolled a nat fucking 20, I jumped right up and landed on that fucking moon.

>>51358009
>roll persuasion check to see if I can enslave him
>he's my slave and goes in ship with me
wut, since when can you just persuade people to become your slave? Is this some homebrew bs?

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>>51358009
>le nat 20 meem
>"roll to enslave"

>>51358009
>I then ran around the table, high-fiving the rest of the players.
Nat. 20 stories are never all that funny, unless you're the kind of guy that likes those forced greentext stories like "Los Tiburon" or that dumb "Edgardo" power fantasy.

>>51361787
I think A good DM would make you roll for more than just acrobatics to land on the moon. Although I do get your point.

>>51364630
It actually was a weird homebrew. My dm said at the end of the adventure that we would fight a 6000 armed pirate king. It was really weird.