So this just happened in my last session >be me, DM homebrew

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>Be DM
>Phrase item description as if it's completely safe
>Player dies immediately upon using it, without any save of any kind.
>Man I'm such a good DM right guys?

Why would he snort it??

>>51343261
we old school ad&d now

>>51343498
How can she hit?

>>51339555
>be me
>be gm
>watch party slowly sneak into cultist den with 2 hulking flesh golems standing guard
>they silently clear out hallway
>ranger throws down an active bear trap
>rogue's trap spotting talent triggers
>there's a bear trap in the hallway

>>51343261
>says it looks tasty
When I hear a GM say that it shoots up a red flag for me.

>>51345288
another one from same party

>alchemist draws commoners from hallow deck
>commoners are accident prone and incompetent
>deck is getting passed around the campfire
>Inquisitor pulls elder air elemental from hallow deck
>has to challenge it alone
>blistering invective
>natural fucking 20
>EAE frightened from intimidate
>EAE nopes the fuck out of there
>EAE sweeps up the 10 commoners with it, killing them when it returns to the plane of air

>>51343261
>>51343529
>>51345395
>not slipping a dose to your henchman to see what happens

Phone posting so no greentext sorry.
Players have just struck a deal with a moraly grey demon snake.
One of the players is running 2hours late
The others decide to cover his character in markings of charcoal simmilar to the demons brand.
Player turns up, gets a brief description of the markings but is then thrust into combat.
Spends all session freaking out about them.
Much later the characters npc best friend is crying in his arms after harrowing events.
Rollperception.smugface
The teartracks are washing some of the charcoal away.
Player is really fucking mad but also crying with laughter.
High fives all round.
Dont fucking come to a planned session late with the excuse that u slept in and expect not to be fucked with.

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>Preparing a homebrew setting with a new system for months after divorcing from D&D
>Do a Mutants and Masterminds short game on the meanwhile
>Put One Punch Man music and op's just for fun
>Player asks me if the entire reason why I wanted to run the game was OPM
>Get within a week from the game, all players ready for the character creation session
>Start talking about Dark Souls because I just started playing DS3 two days ago
>Same player asks me if the entire reason as to why I spent months homebrewing rules and preparing a story is because of Dark Souls 3, a game I just started playing earlier this week

Like, I'm not trying to be an original person and all that, but it's not like my DMing desires are bound to just my flavor of the month

>>51346582
It's probably because he's that way. Has he shown any mannerisms like that? Making characters after whatever he's interested in at the moment?

Or he's just a nosy fuck.

>>51339555
>looks tasty
unless they flubbed a perception roll you're an awful DM

>>51343261
>Be player
>Acquire dust of indeterminate providence
>Snort it immediately because LOL so funny, without any research of any kind
>Man he's such a shit DM right guys?

>>51343533

How can she slap?

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>>51343261
>>51349168
>"You see a wax apple. It looks tasty"
>I eat it
>"...You start vomiting the wax."
>WTF BUT IT LOOKED TASTY SHIT GM

>>51349168
If you snort an unknown powder because it "looks tasty" and die, you got what you deserved.

>>51346215
>bringing out-of-game shit into the game

CANCER
A
N
CANCER
E
R

>>51349302
>That last kid
'Why is everyone screaming' 'ow' 'I forgot to fall down'

>>51349311

Hardly. It's a single, minor mistake that has an entire character killed off. If you think they "deserved" it then you're an autismal That DM.

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>>51349394
>"You enter the bioterrorists' lair and find plastic bags filled with white powder."
>I snort it lol, how high do I get?
>"...You just snorted anthrax. Your character will die."
>WTF FROM SUCH A SMALL MISTAKE AUTISMO GEE-EM LOLOLOL

>>51349311
The GM should have said something along the lines of
>*Rolls cleric's save behind screen*
>While cutting lines with your holy symbol you feel an intense pain in your thumb.
>Upon examination it appears the orange dust drew out a lot of moisture from your thumb.

If a player makes a silly decision, have them make an Intelligence or Wisdom check. If they pass, drop a hint that this may not be a good idea (or a bigger hint if you already dropped one before).

>>51349667
>I want to snort this orange powder.
>>Make an intelligence check
>I got a 10
>>Your character remembers a time in his apprenticeship where his master told him an important lesson. "In this world there is a lot of dangerous things. So don't snort unknown orange powder because it might kill you in horrifically painful ways."

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>>51349715
>...I snort it!
>>Wait what!?
>I snort it!

>>51339555
I would expect a cleric to be raisin dead.

>>51349741
>>Okay. You just snorted enough dry dust to mummify an elephant. Your cleric is dead and it's all your fault.

>>51349795
>WOW SHIT GM I'LL MEMEARROW YOU ON TG EKS DEE

>>51349795
>Did the cleric's body turn to powder?
>I kind of want to snort it.

>>51349302
I can't stop watching. Its just so hypnotic and beatiful

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>>51343261
Is your first response to seeing a powder that looks delicious "I should snort that"?

Player foolishness aside I do gotta agree that unless he snorted the whole thing that instant death is bullshit.

>>51350017
To be fair, it would dessicate his sinus and brains first.

>>51350017
Instant death is because that cleric prevented any possible way for him to NOT die from that. He administered magic dust that, when thrown into water, instantly destroys up to 100 gallons. Also this stuff is in amounts that are comparable to a marble. Even if he only snorted 10% of the dust that's still ten gallons of water instantly gone from the wind pipe, face, and lungs. If this adult cleric weighs about 200lbs then around 60% of this is water. Water weighs 8.53 lbs per gallon. That's about 14 gallons total. He just removed about 70% of the water in his body. A loss of that much water would be instantly lethal, or a CON save in the seventies.

>>51350287
>or a CON save in the seventies.
But muh nat 20!

>>51350331
You didn't roll a nat 20. I saw the dice and you rolled a 13.

how does a powder look delicious, anyway

>>51350377
The color reminds you of orange juice.

>>51349873
>It's what the cleric would have wanted, really.

>>51350377
Fun Dip

>>51350287
Were I a merciful DM, I would've had the cleric merely affected by a Blight spell, since it's description has some things in common with what you've described.

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>>51349776

>>51349394
>single, minor mistake
How can you even begin to conclude that? Personally I probably wouldn't have described it as tasty looking, but even so snorting the powder is obviously retarded. I might favor the player with an "Are you sure you want to do that?' but I absolutely will not spare them the logical death that would follow if they went through with it.

>>51350551
this, or powdered sugar, or cocoa

>>51349873
>>51350507
sounds like another Oglaf strip

>>51349394
>It's a single, minor mistake
What does a major mistake look like by that standard?
>"There is a large pit carved into the bedrock, filled with some unidentified neon green liquid. You can't see how deep it is."
>"I jump into the pit. I do a cannonball."
>*rolls dice* "You take 250 acid damage. You can try to grab the edge but your hands will be all that's left of you. As for the splash-"
>"What! How was I supoosed to know that would kill me! I'm going to post a thread on /tg/ and then everyone will see how mean you are!"

>>51343261
>>51339555

Youre all missing the real point, how the fuck dust look tasty?

Like i get pixie sticks and shit, but we know its candy or the concept of candy when we first try it.

>THIS RANDOM ORANGE POWDER IN THIS OLD MOLDY ASS GNOLL FECES ENCRUSTED DUNGEON LOOKS TASTY

No... no it doesnt.

Sounds like your Cleric and DM both kinda suck.

Already shared but still relevant

>Be me, cadaveric dude actively seeking to become a lich in a setting where they aren't a thing
>DM makes us find "wish cubes" that turn into whatever we want
>Allows us to meta on our third ones, as we went nice and story-related on the first ones even though we knew what they did
>I ask for something that is would transform what it touches into "more than death"
>I recieve a flask of obsidian with some horrible liquid inside
>Me: "I drink it"
>DM "r...really ?"
>Me (not taking the hint): "Yeah !
>DM+friend be like "errr you really wanna drink that ? It doesn't seem cool, dude"
>Me (STILL not taking the hint) "I drink it"
>DM "roll a bravery (I don't remember the exact stat, déso Sora) test to see if you can force yourself to do it
>I roll and succeed
>I drink the thing
>I become a pool of black bile.
>DM+friend have looks of "eh, told you so"
>Still not a lich
>my friend resurrects me as a new PC, burning his own wish
>What a shit DM, right ?

Yeah, I've been kinda dumb on that time, but thinking about it, my conclusion is that it was ok for the character, as it was his chance or never to become a lich. Better start a new PC that fits better in the setting I ended up making a close range crossbow sharpshooter that has some points in acrobatics and everything else as a dump stat in this setting where almost everything but low level automatons can OS you. I never learn.

>>51350377
Tang. Everyone knows that Tang is great and has never been associated with things going horribly fucking wrong.

>>51350017
I'm paranoid anytime the DM willingly offers something in the area
>oh theres this berry bu--
No
>This random character you just met offers you food/drink do--
Not going to eat it nope
EVERYTHING is trapped and almost every interaction I've had that was willingly offered had something bad happen as a result even if it was mundane, in this world everything is actively trying to kill me

>>51348861
Oh yeah, he's done plenty of characters like it. I didn't really mind it, honestly, I just found it pretty funny

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>entire fucking party has universal digestion or cast iron stomach IV or a HT score of like 16 or Metabolic Resistance out the wazoo and just tank-eat EVERYTHING to scrape up benefits and prestige and to satiate their absurd gluttony and various natures

I am a GM and I am scared for my life

>>51343261
Pretty much this. Should have at least been a fort save or a wisdom check for the player to even know if its a good idea.

Here's what a good dm would have done
>Cleric PC: "I snort the dust"
>DM: make a wisdom check
>Cleric *passes*
>DM: You dont think its a very good idea to snort a random powder
>Cleric "fuck it, I snort it anyway"
>DM: Roll me a fort save
>Cleric *Fails*
>DM: The cleric begins to writhe in agony and his face begins to shrivel, what do the rest of you want to do?
>Some other PC *attempts to save the cleric*
etc. etc.

The cleric can still die, just make sure he knew he fucked up, and give him some saves before he dies.

>>51349394
Also this, a minor mistake shouldn't usually get a PC killed. Disasters dont just happen, they're a chain of failures. Like getting lost in Sigil and then failing to make your way out of a maze.

>>51349311
DM should have described it as looking desiccated and as if it was sucking all the moisture out of the surrounding area.

>>51349467
I could understand this, but I doubt OPs story took place in a desiccation dust facility.
PCs dont usually try to get themselves killed. If the cleric sensed danger, he wouldn't have gone full retard. In the even, going full retard shouldn't really have got him killed, but hey, if you're playing short disposable campaigns, who cares who dies, just get him to roll a new PC.

Personally I like campaigns were you have time to develop a character over a period of years, and have some kind of control over your life. the Shit DM bells would be ringing if I died from snorting some random dust without any fort save or a wisdom check to see if it was a good idea.

>>51349168
Sugar is a white powder. Sugar is tasty. If you find a white powder, and assume it looks tasty (because it looks like sugar), and decide to snort it (because that's totally what normal people do), and it turns out to be anthrax, then you deserve to die for being so fucking retarded in so many ways.

>>51353090
"BANAAAAAAAAAAANNGNGNGNGGHGG" - a six foot dog

>>51346215
>characters npc best friend is crying in his arms after harrowing events.
That's pretty fucking gay

>>51343261
>describe only obvious features of unknown powder
>person decides to ingest random bag of stuff found in a box somewhere
>surprise it's not fucking edible

Are you that retarded for real? Are you actually able to function in society without snorting laundry soap and drinking bleach because they look as if they're "completely safe"?

Is your tard-wrangler nearby?

I know someone who works in the resturant buisness. He has this powder confusion issues daily.

>>51343261
>be me
>play recklessly
>get punished
>Capitalize greentext and whine about GM not babying players

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>>51343261
>>51353206
>GM's need to now do wisdom rolls every time a players makes an idiotic decision
JFC, just let them be retards, let them die horribly, and let them immediately roll up another level 1 PC. You'll be amazed how fast your players learn when actually challenged and punished when they fuck up. I swear you spineless cucks are running tables at a nursery home the way you talk about your players.

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>be me, DM also a roll20 fag
>players just cleared out a 3 story warehouse from a mob boss
>copy and pasted the same level outline 3 times with different walls
>accidentally also copy stairs, so there's fourth story
>they try to investigate it
>one of the lights on the stairs was red, jokingly say that it's a red room developing cat pictures
>players spend the rest of the session trying to trace the cat pictures all across town
Welp.
I guess now it's a mystery about the case of the mysterious cat photos.

>>51354037
Just make them buy the common sense advantage

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>>51353252
>DM should have described it as looking desiccated and as if it was sucking all the moisture out of the surrounding area.
You're retarded. You drink an unlabelled potion in an evil wizards lab, you're probably going to get poisoned or killed on the spot. The GM isn't required to say "The potion looks ominous. Bad vibes are coming your way." It's your job as a player to play within reason, and if you don't bother, you suffer the logical consequences of your actions.

>PCs dont usually try to get themselves killed
They still manage to, though. The only time the GM should step in and ask, "are you sure you want to that?" is if there's a miscommunication between what the PC can obviously see and what the player thinks he can see - e.g. mistaking a 150 feet deep crevice for a 4 ft deep ditch and wanting to 'hop down'. This is not the case here. The player could've taken a closer examination of the powder, he could've tested it on something, given it to a henchman, or just bottled it and taken it into town to be identified. Instead he got himself killed like a fucking retard, hopefully next time he'll have learned his lesson and actually exercise a little caution and self-preservation.

>>51354097
Skills, feats, proficiencies, etc. were a mistake. learn to play an RPG.

>>51354054
>>players spend the rest of the session trying to trace the cat pictures all across town

I lold

>>51354054
lol

What are you playing?
WoD?
You could salvage that into a curse of the pharao kind of thing.

>>51354037
>roll up another level 1 PC
sure, if you're playing at lvl 1 all the time, who cares.

I guess a smart player would never make it past lvl 1 anyway.

>>51350377
You've never had those paper tubes filled with delicious powder that you tear open and try your hardest to pour directly into your mouth but wind up failing miserably because it all goes either directly into your nose or down your shirt collar?

>>51354290
You meant a dumb player would never make it past lvl 1?

>>51354107
DM failed pretty badly. Shouldn't have described the dust as tasty if he didn't want the PCs to ingest it.

A fort save or a wisdom check could have made the situation more survivable. Its pretty easy as the DM to let your players survive when they make a simple mistake, especially when you alluded that a certain object might be "tasty" for example. Could have changed the situation from a campaign-ruining event to a bit of a laugh as the PCs attempt to feed the cleric milk as he keeps absorbing it.

DM always has the final say, if you want to kill off players for random mistakes, your loss. You will become "that DM"

Usually you want PC deaths to be either completely known to the PCs beforehand ("you probably wont survive if you do X suicidal thing", or during some epic combat. Disasters should be a chain of failures, not a single failure.

Its a combination of a partially retarded PC and a fully retarded DM

>>51354358
If something is tasty, you don't snort it. Fuckin inhale a pizza, why not?

>>51352253
This and only this.

If a DM tells me that dust looks tasty, I call him a faggot and tell him to try again. That's the weakest DMing I've ever heard of.

>>51350287
Maybe most of it gets caught in his (inert) mucus?

>>51339555
>Be Paladin of Aroden named Dredd.
>DM is a scrub who never played w40k.
>DM made a campaign based on kingdom Hearts, despite the party saying "oh, hell no"
>mfw I make my Warcry "For the God Emperor of mankind" and he doesn't bat an Eyelid.
>Heartless-expy show up, and I yell out "Daemons! By his will I shall cut you down!"
>DM wonders why everyone is laughing.
>We manage to last 4 weeks before I get the nudge from the party.
>I declare the party is to be called the "Ordo Malleus" by the authority of the God-Emperor.
>DM wonders why everyone is laughing.
>Make it through the magical kingdom, take a level in Inquisitor, have max charisma and wisdom.
>Inquisitor Dredd.
>Agrabah is ruled by half-orc warrior caste...
>Mfw I tell the princess "dead or alive, you're comming with me"
>DM wonders why everyone is laughing.
>I give a Rousing speech, declaring Exterminatus on the non-human population.
>Roll at disadvantage: Nat 20 and Nat 20 to order the human population to aid in the clense.
>Needless to say the party had some laughs...

>>51354538
You sound like you're deep on the spectrum.

My thoughts: if the player didn't ask about the dust or try any insight or intelligence shit on the dust, also assuming the dm already decided what the dust was before hand(like any good dm should do), that's totally on the player and he should die or have an extremely small chance of survival through maybe some element of the environment. Maybe the others drown him in a nearby stream and have to resuscitate him, or some such shit, idk3

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>Be Half-orc named "Lead"
>Because it's a heavy metal.
>Plays a lightning-enchanted indestructable Lute.

My Face When every attack is called a 'hit single"

>>51354603
Also the dust could look "tasty" because "magic" Anyone care for a bite of snow white's apple?

>>51354538
Autists everywhere...

>>51353206
What is wrong with you damn man this is why modern D&D is so bad.
>Get a save for every retarded decision the player makes
I prefer OPs method because instead of relying on their stats the player learns to play like an actual rational actor and don't do random retarded shit because their stats will save them.

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>>51354538
>shit that never happened

>>51354538
fucking epic

>>51353206
That is entirely too forgiving. Actions should have consequences, otherwise you're not playing a game, you're just RPing with your friends. There's nothing wrong with that, if that's the stated goal, but if you're trying to play DnD you have to allow your players to fail, especially when they do egregiously stupid things.

>>51354674
>>51354868
Disasters dont just happen, they're a chain of failures.

Its fine to be forgiving around some random dust. You can be less forgiving around 1000 ft pits, Roks, liches etc. where the players knowing they're in danger and to be careful.

If you know your PC is retarded and likes to do random things, try to teach them to be less retarded in non-lethal ways.

OP is still pretty poor DM, what did he expect when he said the dust looked tasty. He should have at least described it as dry and foul smelling. Even then it probably shouldn't have been fatal if snorted.

But hey, if they're playing a one shot with lvl 1 characters, who cares, the DM can lolrandom kill people left and right all he likes.

The DM was being just as lolrandom as the PC in OPs situation.

>>51353206
>>51343261
Are we DMing for retarded children now?

>>51339555
>DM describes powder
>PC snorts it

i hate critical role so much

>Be a non-combative Paladin.
> <60yo, so wasn't exactly as nimble as his youth.
>The DM found it infuriating when I kept on talking random encounters down.
>Imagine my face when the DM learned his name was 'Uncle' Ben (Kenobi)

>>51354960
Don't we all..?

>>51354936
>disarsters don't just happen
Except they do. How the fuck do you think it's reasonable to try and snort ANYTHING in a Gnoll dungeon? Are you by any chance actually retarded? Are you DMing for kids?

>>51354936
There is literally nothing wrong with describing some orange dust as looking tasty. Orange the color is literally named after oranges the fruit.

There is literally everything wrong with "hurr I snort it". Instant death is a fitting consequence for stupidity like that.

>>51354538
Epic my dude! I LOL'ed at this! Do you mind if I screenshot this to share on r/4chan?

>>51355071
not op, but public post is public
just post link here?

>>51353011
Why would anyone not just ask for a cardboard box that can be whatever I want it to be?

>>51355071
op
do it faggot!

>>51350377
>>51352253
This. It's not necessarily bad DMing, just fucking stupid and lame.
>You come across a weirdly colored wall. The stones look tasty.
It comes out of nowhere and looks like you WANT your players to lick that shit.
(Of course it doesn't mean your players aren't complete idiots for doing that, but still.)

>>51355021
A good DM would have punished the player for this minor mistake in a non-fatal way.

Have the clerics face cave in and be disfigured for life, have him lose constitution permanently. You shouldn't really kill a player if they do 1 random thing, unless that thing is something they knew would kill them like jumping off a cliff.

Granted snorting random powder isn't the smartest thing to do, sometimes as DM you have to realize one of your players is retarded, or is roleplaying someone who likes to randomly test themselves. You need to be able to scale things so the adventure can continue.

Being killed, the cleric character wont learn anything from the experiencem, and likely the player wont learn anything either. Being disfigured for life, losing CON and CHA permanantly and having to live with it for the rest of the campaign, now that will teach a player. Rolling a new character because the DM decided to randomly kill you for a single dumb mistake doesn't really teach you much.

>>51355038
>Instant death is a fitting consequence for stupidity like that.
A single small mistake like snorting a random powder that looked tasty isn't worthy of death.
Like I said above, you can punish a player in non-fatal ways and it will be much more effective. There are things far worse than death, like lifelong disfigurement and disability. It would also be hilarious if the Cleric was thirsty for the rest of his life and suffered chronic drymouth at all times. A good DM would take the situation and make it iconic, instead of "welp, you made 1 mistake, you're dead".

>>51354953
No... the DM is the retarded child in OPs situation

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>>51355578
>DM is retarded for punishing stupid, hasty decisions
>DM should have just given a simple modifier for snorting the super-dehydration dust

You're the kind that would drink orange colored bleach, aren't you?

>>51350377

Cheeto dust my man

The big question is whether OP asked "are you sure" or something to that effect. If he did, it's a fair game. If he didn't, having the character die for a brainfart seems a bit too harsh.

Granted, there's like 90% that the player would've immediately said "yes" anyway, but at that point it's entirely his own fault.

>>51355617
Punishing stupid hasty decisions is fine, but it doesn't have to be by death. Give him a permanent CON and CHA loss or something. Get creative and work his failure into the story and the setting.

He will become the fabled cleric with the sunken face, who was always thirsty.

If a player didn't know he was in danger of death, a DM shouldn't punish him with death. Gotta scale the punishment to the failure. In this case, permanent disfigurement would be the harshest acceptable punishment. Anything more is verging on "that DM" material.

>>51355114
Basically because GM was nice enough to give us a !BBEG killing device before those cubes, this plus the fact asking for said cardboard (which doesn't exist in the setting) would be a tiny bit too meta for me, I powergame a lot at character creation, so I compensate by trying to avoid meta as much as possible. The DM letting us meta our third wish was nice enough imo

>>51355760
>If a player didn't know he was in danger of death, a DM shouldn't punish him with death

Fuck this hand-holding bullshit.

SNORTING SOMETHING YOU JUST FOUND IN A DUNGEON THAT YOU DIDN'T IDENTIFY IS WORTHY OF DEATH

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>>51355562
>A single small mistake
>snorting a random powder that looked tasty
>small
Would you have done that?

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>>51339555
>orange and tasty dust
Seems like a reasonable course of action

most of the stuff in this thread is retarded, how stupid can you get

I usually play pretty suicidal, stupid characters - fireballing at my own feet when cut off to get rid of surrounding enemies and I didn't think of self-inflicted damage, hypnotic pattern centered on myself to stun the wave of enemies resulting in everybody but the enemies being stunned etc, but you have to be literally retarded to drink and snort random shit found in dungeons if your DM is anything other than a hugbox "everybody wins" fag

>>51349302
Yeah you are, baka. Wax fruit don't look remotely tasty.

>>51355760
Do you also keep a breathing apparatus ready at your games in case your players forget to breathe?

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>>51355578
Have a drink, you big dumb bitch. IT SURE LOOKS FUCKING TASTY.

>>51354290
If the party's at higher level, the low level player will catch up very quickly (though the rule to not give more XP than will level up a player twice in one session is there for a reason). It might take a few sessions of not being an indulgent power fantasy, but consequences to your actions, anon, even toddlers are taught as much.

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>>51354358
You're the new school equivalent of monty haul. It's not the DM's duty to bend the world and its logic to protect his retarded babby players. The dust was dry dust, the player snorted it, the results are clear. This wasn't a random mistake, the player took no precautions like a retard and 100% deserved everything that was coming to him.

Being described as "tasty" is not a fucking excuse. Sugar and anthrax looks the same too. D&D is filled with traps, only a player raised in as coddling a game as yours wouldn't take a single precaution with a completely unknown substance just because the color is saccharine, and only a DM as shit as you would think that's a forgivable mistake. Get the fuck out of the hobby.

>>51355474
Welcome to D&D, there are traps.

>>51355708
Only time it's forgivable to ask for clarification is when there's a miscommunication where the player obviously has a different understanding of the situation that his PC should have, like the distance to make a jump. It's pathetitc how you new school cucks are so triggered by "metagaming" and wrong "roleplaying" yet DEMAND divine intervention whenever it means protecting your precious character sheets.

Eh. As a player I've found a bag of some powder amongst the loot and to test it, blew to the face of one of the other players. He lost his eye to that. Started calling him One-Eyed. It transferred to real life.

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>>51355578
Hey anon, would you like to snort some yellow cake powder? It looks tasty!

>>51358721
Does that really look tasty to you?

>>51353386
>a six foot dog
>not a vicious lagomorph
One job, anon, you had one job.

>>51353011
>Be that DM
>make a side session were those who show up get a nice piece of equipement or something
>fast forward a few hours
> 50% party wipe total disaster

Based on previous experience they have better chances of surviving their stupod than my nice

>>51350287
>If this adult cleric weighs about 200lbs
Amerifat detected

>>51359470
Muscle mass is included.

>>51356453
THERE IS NO FUCKING DRUMMER BETTER THAN NEIL PEART

>>51358558
The issue isn't with the traps, you could have a cursed chair, a deadly puppy or a murderous copper coin for all I care. I love traps and I love to hear about stupid players petting the lost kitty in the Temple of Raz'kator the Mad and losing an arm.

I have a problem with "it looks tasty". That's too subjective. It's a shitty description and it implies the DM subtly expects the player to take the hint and eat it. (I've known DMs whose "style" was very heavy-handed like this).
It's better when you present your traps in a neutral manner, like "the powder is the color of rust and smells faintly of freshly baked bread". Now that's appetizing without nudging the player towards a specific action.

>>51359535
Easily one of the best gags that show has ever done.

>>51359670
Agreed. The problem with these greentext stories other than the fact that most of them are apocryphal is that shit GMs are often inherently bad at communicating, and then come here to express their surprise when their players do something based on their shit communication.

Still, it takes a special kind of "lolsorandumb" to taste shit you find in dungeons. Or maybe the player was seriously committed to not metagaming, and decided that he must have failed a will save already or something?

>>51353206
>>51349667
Do you force players to roll a wisdom or int check out of the blue and if they fail they do something stupid? No, wait, if they have a GOOD idea they have to roll and if they roll poorly they decide not to do it.

>>51358721
>>51358753
That looks just like the powdered cheese in my macaroni boxes! Now I just need to find milk, butter, and noodles! Yum!

>>51353090
Is this a reference to some gay anime

Because Tang is delicious.

I have two, both from the same party. First was the first PC i killed.
>be DM
>player has noble background and attempts to get meeting with the noble of the town
>they allow it
> noble paladin and the gang start talking up the noble of the town
>wizard of the group named chet awesomelaser decides to sneak off to investigate the house
>guard standing at post near the balcony
> he asks to use shocking grasp to try and incapacitate him
>"sure, if you can hit high enough"
>give him advantage as well since its sneaky breeki
>crit fail, and a 5
>guard gets first turn in initiation, and starts yelling for help while aslo trying to
Grapple him.
>guard fails
> chase scene for like 2 turns
> guards eventually dogpile him
> party finishes talk with noble to see chet being cuffed away
>party doesn't want to get into trouble as well so they say they will try to figure something out
> chet goes to jail
> goes for trial with noble later
>party decided to leave before that
>they expected someone was coming to help chet
>chet goes in barking at noble and what not about some events going around in town
> says the noble is suspicious and he needed to investigate him
>noble asks him to lower his tone
> chet flips out and says "fine let your town be destroyed by these theives and undead, just kill me"
> ask him if he wants to do a persuasion for most of what he was saying
> doesn't answer
> noble just says " as you wish" and motions for the guards
> he gets the guilotine

He has become a meme for the party.

>>51360417
>ask him if he wants to do a persuasion for most of what he was saying
wasn't that a bluff, really?

>>51360989
>>51360989
The way he was explaining things, it wasn't very convincing. There was also an advisor there which was doing a whole whisper thing there. I pointed the advisor out a couple times but no one paid her any mind.

He most definetly could have gotten out of that situation. He just got frustrated? Maybe i plaid it out wrong and should have had the noble be bluffed auto. That didn't really make to much sense for him but i suppose the pc's didn't know that yet.

I also gave him a chance to escape, he just didn't take it.

>>51343261
Powdered laundry detergent smells just like apples, do you snort that too you fucking retard?

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>>51359670
It still doesn't matter. If it's so heavy-handed, that's all the more reason the retards a retard for snorting it? He was asking for trouble. It was a massive, idiotic gamble. Adderall tastes and looks like fucking candy (minus the drip), for example, doesn't mean you just go ahead and rail a gram without expecting your heart to keep beating. D&D is entirely about risk/reward decisions, even despite nu school shit mitigating almost all risk and uncertainty of reward for the sake of safeness, it's still fucking present or else you can barely even call it D&D.

The problem is players are coddled to think risk only exists in combat, and everything else is a magical safe zone because "roleplaying" (ironically antithetical to actual roleplaying, eg the realistic occupation of the player's perspective in an internally consistent world; not sophomore theatrics towards building muh story). You new school fucks, GM and players alike, sorely need to be run through a real dungeon with all the encumbrance, time and ration rules (and the actual CR guidelines in WotC games) followed by the book.

>>51362057
Read my post. I think it's hilarious that the player was stupid enough to snort the mystery powder in a gnoll dungeon. The penalty for making such an idiotic decision varies from group to group. But there should definitely be one.

I only have an issue with "it's tasty". That's because I'm a nitpicky bastard.

>>51362094
Oh, sorry, I thought you were that same wisdom check dolt. Yeah, neutrality is ideal, it makes the traps, red herrings and mcguffins all the more unpredictable and upholds the importance of true roleplay. But the only problem here is that using obvious bait is an amateur move that only helps signal the 'trap,' the player would've been less of an idiot if the DM hadn't described it as tasty, not more. The DM is amateur for it, but it doesn't shift the blame off the player's piss poor play in the slightest.

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>Dust looks orange, and looks tasty.
>looks tasty.

What kind of fucking retard would say this? No wonder the IQ of your group is so low.

>Group mage convinces a group of dragon worshipping kobolds that she is in fact a dragon
>Convinces them to help us kill their preacher and allies in the Underdark
>6 of them die in the process
>The 3 remaining are in prison because they attacked some random adventurers for talking about a dragon
>While out camping we were attacked at night by 6 shadow creatures
>party is OOCly convinced it was the kobolds that died

>>51349362
Its just a joke that didnt had any effective ingame more than a scare. Dont be a pussy

>>51354358
If you find some unknown magical dust inside a dungeon and snort it, what happens next is on you. If he was offered it at a banquet or something you'd have a point.

>>51339555
Ho. I've been a shit DM once.

>Be me
>Be DM
>Underground gauntlet
>Slight Slope up
>Set of colored tiles, obviously traps
>Climb the wall to avoid obvious traps
>Climb over 3 areas of such tiles
>Trigger the trap at the top end of the slope
>Giant Boulder
>"If we all enter the bag of holding, we can breathe for 2 minutes, but we can't get out by ourselves. Good luck rogue."
>Rogue don't outrun the rock.
>Dropped in the low negatives.
>Don't even stabilize

Now, traps are hazards in encounters, otherwise I just assume the party goes slowly and disarm them more or less automatically.

>>51363980
> Looks tasty.
> TAAAASTY!

>>51354054
Dude!!!! Read the cata of ulthar by H.P. Lovecraft, that could be the seed for a very good aventure?

Even in junior high only retarded kids ever snorted any powders and that was shit they knew was edible. Watched a kid snork funion powder for a doller had to go to the hospital. Dieing for snorting random powder is compleatly fair. Player went full retard.

>>51365097
In one of my science classes in highschool there was a kid who'd drink whatever was in his beaker for 20 bucks. He was a football player. Never killed him. He was out for a few days now and then though. Course most of the times the beaker was just full of salt water.

>>51351810
Nah nah nah
>GM: "There is an ink black guillotine in the room, it seems decorated and oddly elegant. Kinda beautiful."
>Player: "Okay I lie down and put my head in the guillotine, bro please activate it."
>Friend cuts the rope.
>GM: "Right, you get your head cut off and die."
WTF!

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>>51365177
You probably deserved it, you royalist swine.

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>>51343261
>edgy player wants to snort coke without testing it first.
>dies.
>dm's fault.

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>Party kills mages trying to summon and control a sickass demon
>They find a book locked alone in a room
>Book is open but chained so pages cannot be turned
>Traps out the ass in the room
>They capture one of the wizards who tells them that the book contains an unstoppable monster at the end
>Once the last page is turned the monster will be released
>No force they have found can turn a page back or close the book
>Wizard turns to the next to last page and keep it there in case they need an "unstoppable monster" for some reason
>Later they are about to get captured by the guard because they are idiots
>Wizard decides to say "FUCK IT" and turn the last page
>Out of the book pops the tarrasque
>TFW they just unleashed fantasy godzilla on the kingdom they were trying to save

>>51339555
>party full of elves of varying classes.
>hey let's split up gang.
>me: roll perception......you see movement over there.
>other player dies.

remember kids, arrows don't kill people, elves do.

>>51349394
>>51339555
Why the fuck would the powder be described with the words "Look Tasty". How does a fucking orange powder looks TASTY?

>Lots of magic items, ingot included
say ingot looks yellow, and looks tasty
>My face when a character gnawed on a gold ingot

>lots of magic items, barrel included
say the liquid is golden, foamy, and looks tasty. Barrel has 2 "X" on it
> cleric take a jug of it
> dies poisoned
> a 3rd X appear on the barrel

>>51365177
hahaha why am I laughing so hard

Why are all the autist sperging out over that "looks tasty" comment?

t's fucking hilarious

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>>51365587
>How does a fucking orange powder looks TASTY?

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>>51339555
I also have one player, who is a prison guard. (we all are really.)

but anyway, this guy, WHO IS A GUARD, was in a party that somehow domesticated a mimic and was keeping it in their loot cart.

>suddenly customs checkpoint.

I inform the party that some shit's about to go down if they don't do something quick.

the dude, WHO IS A GUARD, then tells one of the guards, "hey if you value your life you wouldn't do that.

said player is completely shocked and appalled as they guard glares at him, sticks his hand down into the mimic's mouth ( it was a bag.) gets his hand chomped off.

>party gets arrested.
>how was I supposed to know guys?

oh the looks he got for that one.

>>51365643
The powder itself doesn't look tasty. And the juice barely qualifies.

> The guy should have asked "whadaya mean, tasty?".

>>51365648
>Domesticating mimics
I think I can smell shite.

>>51354292
Or not coming out at all because you got the paper wet and the powder clumped up at the end.

>>51354037
I've taken "don't do anything stupid " checks when playing dumb characters. The opposite because it was to avoid doing something that was known to be wrong.

>"looks tasty"
>tasty
>t a s t y
>not tasting it first
>immediately jumping into snorting that shit

Bad description or not, dubious substances should be properly analyzed before jumping to conclusions. GM was right not pussyfooting around though powder appearing tasty is still somewhat stupid

>>51368855
Take "don't do anything smart" checks too, then. unless you failed your "not a big stinking pussy" check.

>>51368927
You are a meanie but I will explain a little anyways. Not an extra safety measure just a this is dumb, will I do it anyways check.

Stereotyped out the wazoo goblin, hates books, loves fire, gets bored easily, likes biting.

Party puts me in a bag while infiltrating some barbarians, "stupid check" to keep from climbing out.

Guards on really long spiral stairs, party tries to negotiate past them. Shield up, just start walking get smacked a bunch, party goes invisible while the guards are distracted and gets past, I jump down the hole

Bit an adamant helmet in a shop, managed to scratch it. Clerk says "control your goblin"

>>51365446

Can't make an omelette.....

>>51345288

That would only expose the trap to the rogue, though?

>>51358721
That wouldn't be immediately fatal though.
Probably not even be fatal at all in the course of a D&D campaign, the character might have a heart attack at age 50, or get cancer later on, but who really plays until their PC is 50+?

>>51358456
gotta scale the consequences to the failures though. Snorting some random powder the DM described as tasty isn't really worthy of death. permanent disfigurement, sure. But not really death.

>>51356184
No need for caps friend, but I disagree. Snorting something the DM described as tasty is not worthy of death. If the dm described it as acrid smelling and foul, then its potentially worthy of death, but still a dick move by the DM if he kills the PC with no save.

>>51368925
Still deserves a wisdom or fort save at the very least.

>>51370288
>gotta scale the consequences to the failures though
No, you don't. You scale the consequences to the realistic results of their actions within the world. Learn what roleplay means.

>>51364972
there are shaped dishwasher detergent things that look tasty, doesn't mean you should fucking eat them. some children I think died because they thought they were candy.

>>51366351
fucking pixie sticks

>>51339555
If something is said to look tasty to my character, its gotta be somehow similar to something he enjoyed eating. Unless food comes routinely in powdered form, and Tang is the delicacy of choice, fuck you for poor description. Also fuck the cleric for being memeing fucktard, lolrandumb.

>>51370658
Something not looking inherently poisonous is different than "tasty" which requires past experience.

>>51370583
The consequences of completely standard fantasy combat is death the VAST majority of the time.

>>51370757
Well if you're a squishy meatbag going up against big scary monsters, you can realistically expect to get squashed. Maybe learn to keep your head down and avoid unnecessary combat until you start to approach a sort of superhuman status on par with what you're up against?

>>51370757
A good player (or any rational PC) knows when to retreat, and doesn't risk combat he can't win with decent certainty.

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>>51350106
That shit is horrifying...

>>51350287
This makes all makes much more sense now. Yeah that player was just asking to be killed.

Worst thing one of my players has done is in a supers game use their powers to blow themselves up on the top floor of a building. Falling damage is a bitch.

>>51353195
I kinda want some ghost loaf...

>>51371007
>romantic

>>51339555
>shit that never happened, the thread

Nice trips tho.

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>>51373222
>everything is lies

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>>51339555
I call bullshit. Gnolls wouldn't just leave precious dry dust hanging around.

Maybe kobolds, but gnot gnolls.

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>Just killing PCs because LOL
>Players who don't drag their feet making new characters for months before the game session and expect you to do everything for them five minutes before session one.
>Not even being concerned that the player might not roll up a new character.
>No concern about having to find replacements for players who quit.

I may never know what this feels like, but it must be nice.

>>51354960
How is this related to critical role? People always recommend it to me, but I can't get into it. What's the correlation?

>>51373332
It's popular, therefore is bad

>>51355562
>Granted snorting random powder isn't the smartest thing to do
The only stupider thing to do with the fucking powder he just found, would have been to stick it up his ass. Which incidentally should still fucking kill him.

Hell the only potential for not dying here is maybe licking an extremely small amount of it, and even then I call extreme trauma.

>Being killed, the cleric character wont learn anything from the experience
He'll learn not to fucking snort random powder he found in a fucking animal den. A lesson his parents should have probably taught him much sooner.

>>51370288
>Still deserves a wisdom or fort save at the very least.

It really doesn't. Having a save for it cheapens the world or robs player agency.

>roll a fortitude save
>you feel extremely dehydrated as all water leaves your body and coalesces into a tiny bead. But you live despite logic

>roll a wisdom save
>tl;dr you decide not to do that
Either that or you have to set the DC on the fort save so high you might as well not be rolling. The DM should have at most confirmed the action with the player and maybe ask if he really intends to snort the unidentified powder.

Besides, that's what gentle repose is for. Just drag his dumb ass into town and find a cleric that can cast revivify on the corpse.

>>51354538
>Advantage
>Plus a level in Inquisitor

I mean, nice try, at least

>>51350287
Of course, in some editions said cleric might be able to survive atmospheric re-entry, so that doesnt quite work out.