>New game >GM starts narration >So we start in the ah-aaah

It's a hobby that appeals to the socially awkward. but requires a degree of theatrical skill and improvisation.

Welcome to Traditional Gaming.

Best you can do is improve with practice, or look into performance workshops/books/videos.

I once played a game where the DM could not get more than four or five words into a sentence without "eehhhhh"-ing, "eerrr"-ing, or some combination of both and it was the most infuriating fucking garbage I've ever put up with. Never played with him again.

>>51129370

I played with 2 DMs who where almost at ease in normal social situations, but who described the game so blandly that I couldn't get into it even during supposedly epic moments

Current DM is a small dude who dress awkwardly and looks like a trap by 4chan standards, but he narrates like he fucking did this forever, roleplay like his life depends on it, and can go from deep dragon voice to scared little girl in a heartbeat.

It's pure chance, whether or not you tolerate it depends on how much you want to play and how hard it is to find a group where you live

>>51129370
*pass DM screen*
Yeah, you do it. I'll just be rolling my char.

>>51129370
Try playing text only online.

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>>51129370
I would love to have Jeff Goldblum as my GM. What the hell is wrong with you ?

>Life, huuuum, finds a way

>>51130154
>>51129370
This.

It's really hard to be a GM. Most of all it's unapreciated. Playing a char isn't even an effort.

When you GM, you have to keep yourself immersed in a world, keep in mind the plot line, and a bunch of other stuff. If you're the kind of guy that can't talk while doing 4 other things, which most of us aren't, there's gonna be a lot of "uuuhm"s.

>>51131185
fuck, I meant the other way around, of course, in that last sentence

>>51129370
Jennifer, please finish sucking him off so he can concentrate on the game again.

>>51131411
This, gotta blow on the "dice" for luck

>>51129370
Tip to GMs: Slow down a bit. Don't worry too much.

>>51130154
>>51131185
Just GM text games. What's so important about voice anyways

>>51130001

You arrive in a town. What do you do.

>What is in the town? I look around.

There are buildings

>Just buildings? Any people? Any businesses....any problems?

You see a monster

>Oh fuck you.

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Rule of three man.
Your first scene needs:
Three descriptive details that evoke the setting of the world, three hooks that fit with tone of the setting and three NPCs that can help set the mood.
You get those down, even if its on a napkin 5 minutes before the game starts.
Example; Sci-fi post-apoc with a after-the-war theme

>Alright, you start in a run down junkyard space docks - Detail that evokes setting, you know its a used future type situation
>That was once a major shipyard used by the Coalition forces to repair their fleets - Detail telling you there was a side called the Coalition that needed big ass space dry docks and had the power to build them
>As your ship comes into land there's a slight delay, seems the main clamp is jammed - Detail, shows that everything is run down to shit, also tells you that you own a ship, also a plot hook since you could be hired to find parts to repair the clamp
>You see a small figure in a mechanized space suit moving over the outside of the space port, they head over to the door and the mech hauls the clamp open, allowing you to dock, whoever is piloting sees the mech has a young woman in overalls in it, she's chewing on something and has a smear of oil on her nose - NPC gives the feeling of things being more mundane and grimy rather than Star Trek
>Ship parks up, but the gates don't open, you get a message over Comms, ship security requesting permission to board, the guy on the other end has a synthetic voice module, you can't quite tell if they're male or female - plot hook, why they want to search your shit and NPC in the head of Sec
>Finally, the search team will be there in 5 when suddenly a bespectacled woman in business wear requests permission to board, once aboard she instantly offers to buy any and all spare energy crystals you have on board, the Sec'll claim them the second they board, without payment, she says - Plot hook and NPC

It ain't fucking hard people.

>>51129370
Nicholas Cage is your DM? Awesome

>>51129370

I usually start the night like that, and slowly get more immersed in my own world until it flows effortlessly from me.

Then one of my players will inevitably interrupt me when I'm on a roll to ask me about some stupid bullshit that's irrelevant to what's going on right then, and I completely lose all of my concentration and have to begin the cycle anew. It's extremely frustrating.

>>51129370
>How do you people fucking put up with this?

Lets see you GM the game then!

>>51129370
That's why I use text.

>>51131543
Ever tried, and failed, to read a book but couldn't, then listened to an audiobook and were able to actually enjoy it?

>>51129370
I remember that hobbies are things people do for fun, and that maybe I shouldn't expect my GM to be a professional public speaker.

>>51132621
Not by choice.

>>51132621
No, as audiobooks take far too long when instead I can just read the book and make more progress in less time.

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>>51132621
No.

>>51132621
Yeah, once. When I was like 12 and had eye infection.

>>51131885
This is useful advice, although at first glance 3 NPCs seems like a lot it seems simpler if you just combine them with the plot hooks.

>>51129370
Not everyone is an eloquent speaker.
Don't like it - do something about it instead of bitching on an anonymous imageboard where no one cares about your moaning.

>>51132621
No.

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>new game
>GM starts narration
>Rawr rurrr grururururrrr raawwwrrrr pffft rabbit hair fuck growowowoworurrrr brraaap

How do you people fucking put up with this? Every goddamn game, there's at least one bear trying to invade human civilization in the most retarded way possible.

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>>51129370
I understand your frustration OP.
However, it seems quite petty IMO.
You have to juggle so much shit as a DM.
Not everyone is a well spoken thespian.

>>51133966
It totally can be, but sometimes you want to separate them out, so I thought it best not to fold them into a single thing.
For example, a plot hook with no one NPC attached to it? Town has been burned down, no one knows why.
NPC with no plot hook attached to 'em? Beggary the Beggar who lives in Beggarville and who'll give you the good shit on info if you give him a few copper coins.

>>51131543
For some people, game night is about socializing with a group of friends, in addition to being a fair elf trap maiden who wishes to see the world.

>>51132621
>t. illiterate

>>51132621
the only thing this is excusable with is the Silmarillion, and I'm going to hazard a guess that isn't what you're thinking of.

>>51132621
In contrast with what a few people are saying to you, I don't believe that what you're saying is a wrong thing necessarily. People prefer to consume literature in different ways, and in my opinion there's nothing wrong with audiobooks in themselves. I personally prefer GMing with voice, specifically in person. I haven't played an online game. To me, part of the point is doing it in person.

That being said, no.

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>>51132621
>fail to read a book
how the fuck does someone manage to do that.

>>51141335
Lots of people all the time, I assume. People are really bad at reading.

I've got a speech impediment, but I'm more than creative enough to tell a proper story. Besides, acting has really helped me keep my voice in check.

>Character responds to NPC saying some shit
>GM is typing...
>Typing...
>Typing for two minutes...
>Typing for five minutes...
>"Short, 2 sentence response."

This is more annoying than any stuttering or uhs/uhms. How come it takes so long to type so little?

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>>51141566

S-SHUT UP VOICEKEK TEXT GAMES ARE A SUPERIOR FORM OF ROLEPLAYING

>>51141566
I know for a fact that I would be guilty of this if I ran a text game

>>51132621
Usually it's vice versa to me.

>>51141687
I don't understand how GMs who vie for a text based game are sometimes horribly slow typists.

If you use the computer so much, shouldn't you be faster? Even if you want to get the best response out, you can still think quickly, right?

>>51141566
Self correction.

They write, they proof-read, they decide it's not what they want to say.

Text gives you control over your sentence structure more than your own voice can permit due to deliberation, but with this comes... deliberation.

>>51129370
>>51130172
This is the real reason I play text-based online games.

[spolier] Because I am basically the GM from OP [/spoiler]

>>51142352
Apparently I can't type for the life of me, either.

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>>51132621
No.

Was this a rhetorical question? Were you asking this as a way of saying "if you suck at voice games, then you'll also suck at text games?"

>>51141335
Lack of time (I work 80 hrs a week, 12 of which are driving), difficulty getting "hooked" by the writing (like the Silmarillion example), that sort of thing.

The point is that sometimes a story is more enjoyable or accessible when it is presented to you in a different way.

>>51129370
Why not give him tips or just be more patient with the dm. The DM may just be practising delivering better narrative. Not everyone starts as a lvl 20 DM.

>>51131885
Good advice anon. Anyone else got any more tips to share. I remember a thread a while ago that was very good at explaining narratives and fitting the tone.

If you're a GM and you think you're going to fuck up your important descriptions, write them down. Doesn't work for on the fly descriptions unless you ask your players for a few minutes to type something up.

>>51132912
>>51132621
I listen to Audiobooks as I work, shits fucking CASH.

Can't wait for work sometimes actually.

It's nice. I also read, but podcasts and audiobooks are just too handy for when I'm excercising/working/on the go (Can't read in cars/planes, instant nausea.)

>>51142766
Only descriptions I have are on the fly ones.

Also, I think that I'd rather endure some umms and humms, rather than listen dry "I'm reading this from paper" -narration.

>>51142811
Ah yes, if you're reading from paper, it's always dry.

Sometimes I wonder whether I'm talking to 12 year olds on this board.

>>51142811
True I suppose. But someone good at writing can hide the fact they are reading from a script.

>>51142800
I like to listen to podcasts, but audio books I can't deal with.
If, when listening podcast, I loose concentration for a while, I don't miss much. Some banter, some jokes, random opinion from random podcast host.

With book, similar lapse of concentration is much more significant.
Even with actual reading I can realize that I've been reading without actually paying attention, but there it's easy to flip back a page and see where I was before I lost my thought.

>>51142852
I'll admit that much, Audiobooks are nice for re-reading(listening) too I've noticed. Unless you're looking for something specific ofc.

>>51130655
Kekked

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>>51132621
>Ever tried
with ya so far
>and failed
yea lots
>to read a book but could not.
Grammer gods please come back to me.

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>>51143713
>Grammer

>>51143724
It's likely intentional misspelling to ridicule that anon

>>51129370
I'm fine with stuttering but this is a case of zero planning. There was one GM I trusted to run a good game with no prepared notes, every other time has been mess.

>>51141335
Losing interest. It's not hard.

If I'm halfway through a book and I realize I'm not even enjoying it, I don't force myself to finish it. I've got shit to do.

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>>51143761
>>51143724