What's the most unrealistic thing about the way fantasy

>>51056361

>Realistic
>Fantasy

Choose one

>>51056361
The food and drink is actually decent.

The number of dark corners

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The absence of prostitution?

>>51056361
That band....
>Violin
>Bagpipes
>Flute
>tambourine
>whatever the fuck the guy between the Bagpipes and tambourine is playing.

The fuck?

>>51056361
A lack of women compared to all the men. Any bar that's a sausage fest goes out of business, taverns were the same.

>>51056361
Any fantastical element.
Renting rooms.

>>51056445
I think that's a horn of some kind

>>51056445
What is 9/10 of all Dropkick Murphs sound.

>>51056361
Multiple species and races co-habiting together without violence, tension and mistrust.

the fact that there's always someone willing to spill important hints pertaining to the current quest you happen to be on

if a bunch of outsiders showed up to the bar in my town and started acting like they owned the place and asking around for the whereabouts of this that or the other, the boys would throw them out on their asses

Screwy economics?

>Level one adventurer easily finds a magic sword worth 35 gold
>Bar wench makes a copper per night

WHAT

>>51056361
FOOD! The fact that almost all inns/taverns have a menu with several items to choose from.

>>51056571
A level one adventurer is greater than an entire village of commoners. This is pretty much stated in the Player's Handbook.

>Stenchy necromancer walks in
>She has a rotting carcass strapped to her back with leather thongs
>The patrons and the workers seem unperturbed and remain very pleasant and calm

Exaplain dis

>>51056361

By the way, what's the difference between an inn and a tavern?

I'm a non-english speaker...

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>>51056445
>>51056500

It's an instrument called a "Hurdy Gurdy".

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>>51056361
The fact that they even exist. There weren't really hotels in medieval England. For the most part travelers had to bunk with a random peasant.

>>51056768
Hurdy Gurdy is fucking awesome

>>51056571
I live in a capital city, when work sends me to some bum fuck village and i go and have a drink or something to eat there shit is DIRT cheap. We are talking 80% cheaper. Chances are the food is mostly roadkill but still it's cheap. I don't think it's that much of a stretch in a fantasy setting.

>>51056707
In a village? Complete terror?
>>51056756
Inns have rooms for sleeping guests.

>>51056546
>A bunch of commoners
>Throwing a group of hardened superhumans out on their ass

>>51056792
This is a based book.

>>51056546
>A bunch of commoners
>Throwing a group of hardened superhumans out on their ass

>>51056792
Rpgs don't often take place in medieval england

>>51056913
>thread about applying 'realism' to RPGs
>guy chimes in with relevant history knowledge and this anon is triggered

I think you're lost, traveller.

>>51056361
>food options beyond whatever variation of vaguely edible soup the owner decided to cook up today
>modern cleanness standards being observed
>overabundance of dark corners more or less permanently inhabited by assholes with overly dark and tragic backstories

>>51056571
if youre finding a magic sword at level 1 your GM is fucked, and multiply the cost of a magic sword by a lot....but youre still right, youd come back to town with 250+gp of random shit and fuck up the town's economy. we just got done buying a whole barrel of beer for 3 gold last session. thats 264 pints

>Go to fantasy public house in a small village
>people are smashing jugs of wine and tankards of wheat-beer on the ground to express how happy they are
>someone accidentally nudged someone else's elbow
>fight ensues, everyone joins in
>black eyes and broken noses all round
>in total about a tenth of the entire town's wealth is destroyed, in the form of shattered mugs, broken chairs and doctors bills
>half the town's workforce is too injured to work for weeks
>according to the barkeep, this is a pretty ordinary night

Really makes you wander about these country bumpkins

>>51056571
>Level one adventurer easily finds a magic sword worth 35 gold

There's no part of this statement that makes any sense.

Unless the sword is actually a cursed -1 sword that's enchanted to be easy to find and make the bearer think it's worth 35 gold.

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>>51057029
This would be fairly normal in, say, an alehouse in late medieval/renaissance London. Urban centres were notorious for drunken violence. Pic related was a famous ass poet and playwright and got stabbed the fuck to death for no reason by some random in the course of as much.

I think pleb fantasy writers and the DMs influenced by them just started transposing these received understandings of pre-modern tavern culture onto their bumpkin ass settings.

>>51056913
>My edgy special super snowflake waifu lvl 11 spellcaster can't POSSIBLY fall victim to angry villagers.

If anyone tries this in my world, I remind them that just because they're powerful, doesn't mean other people aren't also powerful.

Then the bartender pulls a wand out from under the bar.

Tip your bartender

>>51056571
This is why I need feminism.

>>51057196
>Of course every bartender, city guard and villain's henchman a lvl 20 gestalt fighter/wizard. What else did you expect?

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>>51056361

>>51056546
>and then I told em there was treasure up by Death Lake
>Death Lake? YOU FUCKING MAD MAN!
>I know right? Nothing but a thousand angry mosquitos and constant rain.
>entire bar bursts into laughter

>>51057235
It's less a class sealing and more a wall of force

>>51057352
>No, they won't solve the town's various problems on their own, despite being more than capable.

>>51056843
>>51056768

The hurdy gurdy is fucking great.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DX08nQows0

>>51056465
>A lack of women compared to all the men. Any bar that's a sausage fest goes out of business, taverns were the same.

That wouldn't be true in any historical context. Taverns were were a place for working men and travelers, while women usually drank at home.

Depending on the period, women in taverns were either in the company of their husbands, or were assumed to be prostitutes.

>>51058158
This is awful and you should feel ashamed.

>>51058474

My gnome bard has a magic steam-powered Hurdy Gurdy. This is what I use for the soundtrack:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIxcbq-_8BQ&list=PL1xPTMolq0d9IUoz26jdzn7e-Xi2IhPVl&index=10

>>51058543
>or were assumed to be prostitutes.

Given all women are prostitutes, that's not that an unreasonable assumption.

>>51058797
Somebodies not getting laid

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>>51056626
>mfw eriador inns don't have menus

>>51058624
>He hasn't read the ballet of Edgardo

Get the fuck out newfag.

>>51056397
There it is.

>>51058734

Video not available, got another link?

It makes for great campaign sound, soulful, melancholic etc.

Most "unrealistic" thing is usually the restroom/toilet facilities...

>>51058234
Im definetly making some commoners lie to my pcs just for the lulz

>>51056361

The Inn has a basement that needs rats or bugs or something removed/investigated.

Most of your rumors will be heard here, and only here.

The quiet and competent tavern/inn owner that has a deeper, more mysterious history than you first realized.

Cockney-accented peasants.

Etc.

>>51056792
Probably not in medieval England but the aroman Empire, the Ottoman Empire and, from around 1600, Japan did have inn-like accomodation.

>>51058474
>>51058734
It took me a while to find this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnpB9bVyNDs
I was originally going to post some french folk but all the french folk I know of doesn't have hurdy grudys, they have sick bass beats tho

>>51057196
>DMs who don't create a realistic "ecology" of monsters, heroes, and villains, but instead give you a video game style "scaling" so you never feel like you're progressing in real power or influence

I wish I could hate you to death.

>>51058818
ZINGER!

>>51060787
f*cking epic amirite xD

>>51060798
>i-it's NOT FUNNY women are just EVIL BITCH WHORES!!!

>>51056361
Probably the fact that our fame amounts to nothing for them. I mean, you save the world a few times and muderated some huge nasties, you'd figure a couple innkeeps would have heard or you or at least be willing to give you free rooms.

>>51056391
What kind of shit holes do you go to?

>>51056401
Weird. Ours has that.

>>51056445
That's nothing, there's a guy who stands outside a shopping centre near where I live and plays a violin-trumpet thing. It really takes the weirdness out of exotic instruments

>>51056445

>just a collection of random instruments being performed probably by amateurs who aren't professional musicians

I don't see the issue.

>>51056540
E D G Y

>>51061212
Actually, realistically, and a believable source of conflict in a fantasy setting.

>>51061212
>edgy
>implying this isn't likely

wew lad

>>51056361
The amount of fights the break out
>depending on your DM

>>51061212

>realistic scenario is edgy

The truth cuts deep.

>>51056546
Bars were what Facebook is today, a place to catch up on local news and what your friends are up to. They weren't just a place to drink like modern bars.

>>51058474
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iijKLHCQw5o

>>51056361
The cleanliness of the inn

>>51061212
Real life confirmed pure edge.

>>51060353

What's ahistorical about cockney-accent peasants? Is cockney accent a modern thing?

>>51063952
Cockney is more of an urban thing, IIRC. It'd be like blacks in a Civil War piece speaking modern Ebonics.

>>51056483
>Renting rooms

Weirdly, no. Coaching inns and hotels have been renting rooms for a very long time.

>>51056792
Major roads and cities had hotels for a very long time.

>>51057029
>Mugs
>Worth anything

Earthware was cheap as fuck, yo.

>>51056626
Written menus are unlikely, but a selection of food is not. The second business man ever made was a restaurant to sell food next to the whorehouse.

The really unrealistic part is..

>Taverns, Inns and Hotels are all the same thing

Very distinct things. Inns and hotels generally did business almost exclusively with people traveling for business. You'd have merchants in them, not locals, and few people traveled for pleasure. (Mostly because traveling was, in general, an exhausting ordeal).

>>51063952
>>51064205
Cockney is a east London accent. It's a very distinct, regional thing.

It would make more sense for a Yorksire farmer to be speaking Dutch.

>>51057148
There are conflicting theories about the death of Christopher ("Kit") Marlowe.
As well as the random assault, other ideas include it being a jealous lover (he was bisexual) or that the killer was in the employ of Spanish spies (he was rumoured to have been an agent of Dr John Dee).

Typically something like https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perpetual_stew would be more realistic. The ale would probably also be watered down home brewed trash or other awful local shit.

>>51064464
I'm aware, mate, but what I was getting at is that alehouse violence was common enough that nobody batted an eye when he got shanked.

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>>51056361

Weren't the inns depicted in fantasy only a thing in China until like the 18th century?

>>51060133
World wide plumbing is the one thing I'm willing to handwave as
>Wizard did it to save time on bathroom trips

>>51056361
There being inns is pretty out there

>>51057148
In London, the largest city in the world, sure. But not in random-peasant-village#218.

>>51056792
Honestly? D&D makes a lot more sense as a bit later than Medieval anyway.
Conveniently, that guy also wrote a book on Elizabethan England. I'm reading it now.

>>51056792
Also, that book has citations for shit in the back, doesn't it? Can you post the one about hotels as well as what the book itself says about them?

Who cares about historicity? Make what's realistic for your setting. If your setting IS historic to tbe hilt then by all means, fuck taverns. If you're playing a high fantasy game though, businesses are bound to spring up around the income and VIOLENCE adventurers promise.

I once had a rogue whose character goal was to amass a fortune and gain contacts with a bunch of wizards and important folk, then open the ultimate tavern, with anti magic security and baths and a spell shielded arena and a chilled wine cellar and a bank elemental and all kinds of shit.

>>51060720

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caravanserai

>>51059065
>thinks Edgardo isn't complete shit
Return to Reddit, faggot.

>>51067490
>he thinks edgardo fans are reddit plebs

>>51056361
>What's the most unrealistic thing about the way fantasy inns are depicted?
>CTRL+F: potato
>0 results

What has happened to my /tg/?

>>51068160
It's cringy either way.

>>51056361
That they are privately owned and that you pay for their services. Your usual roadside inn is there for the safety of merchants and travelers, no different than the soldiers who patrol the road or the workmen who keep it and bridges in good repair.

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>>51058624
>This is awful and you should feel ashamed.
Correction: This is one of only two good things from something awful and literally the only line worth reading.

>>51068160
>>51059065
Edgardo is unprocessed sewage, which puts it a step or two above it's author.

>>51068743
Wait so the local government would run them as part of public safety?

Surely there'd still be a guy selling food and booze and sleeping accommodations better than "the cold floor, but hey you aren't being murdered in your sleep by bandits so shut up"

>>51069164
>Wait so the local government would run them as part of public safety?
Well, it would go a long way towards explaining why every bartender is also a retired high level warrior.

>>51068743
>>51069164
From what I've read, most of the time inns simply couldn't pay for themselves, even when given license to brew and serve alcohol. But it was still in the interest of the city or the kingdom to have them, partially because it encourages trading travelers to actually do their thing and come trade with the city, partially because it meant less pressure on the local residents to accommodate travelers as well as the less-honest sorts taking advantage of them.

That they aint called Public Houses.

>>51056465
this is completely false even to this day in many regions and nations.

>>51057196
I do some annoying ass shit to my players to keep them in check and I still don't do that shit. My current players are level 6 and it's pretty much implied that, barring major effort, typical villagers and guards can't do a whole lot to them.

They still have to be on their best though because they aren't the only adventurers in the setting and bounty hunters like taking down cocky adventures.

>>51069981
>this is completely false even to this day in many regions and nations.
Silly anon, don't you know that the only reason anyone ever went to a bar or tavern in all of human history was to score Mad Honeyz like >>51056465 is clearly doing every night?
Amirite?

>>51057148
>Marlowe
>Stabbed the fuck to death for no reason
>Not politically assassinated for his religious and sexual preferences by a man who was mysteriously pardoned

Wake up sheeple.

>>51056361

they are made by people who dont spend a lot of time in bars

>>51070211
I mean what I was saying was it was common enough for people to go to the alehouse and wind up killed that his death didn't provoke much comment outside of poetic circles memorialising his genius. I am aware of the evidence to suggest that he was bumped off deliberately.

A lack of parasites. Hell no am I bedding down at a bumblefuck inn where the fleas and lice are complementary.

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>>51058158
I played with a GM who actually did this. Every tavern in his world was some bizarre collections of hexagons, so they would have dozens of dark corners. He was convinced it was clever.

>>51070571
Now you're just nitpicking.

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>>51068792
Hey, I'm playing a free form game and having fun. Does that make me human waste?I

>>51071256
Some here might disagree, but no.
Enjoying freeform rpg does not necessarily make you human waste.
After all, every kid enjoys playing pretend.

Now if you did that and were an asshole, then told a terrible, fake, and poorly, poorly written story about you playing freeform being an asshole to even bigger assholes where you magically succeed, win everything ever, and try to wrap being a vain prick with a sense of nobility by manufacturing a scenario where you are both a God and an underdog?
Then yeah, you're well on your way to becoming human waste.

And we'll read it because storytime is storytime.

>>51068160
>implying they're not

>>51068792
That line is an old joke delivered poorly.

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>>51061112
Stroh Violin. Was made as a way of amplifying a violin player before electronic microphones were invented.

>>51071128
underrated

>>51056445
It looks like he's holding a hurdy-gurdy upside down.

>>51068667
Potaroes are just tubers. They could had evolved in non-europe. I would REEEE more at orange carrots.

>>51056540
You'd be suprised.
Outside of certain university groups and internet forums, people do tend to get along.
I used to work at a packaging plant with people from two dozen countries and the only real conflict was about management trying ban filling your own bottled from the watercooler.

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>>51071940
That's what happens when violin screws a trumpet.
This is what happens when instruments have an all-out gangbang.

>>51072571

>it hurts to live .png

>>51056361
The fact somebody is wanting to set a drinking/debauching/drunk fighting place for oh so strong adventurers. Inn's stuff should have ways to control their customers.

>>51072358
What color are they supposed to be? I don't think I've ever seen differently colored carrots before.

>>51073494
>Implying hurdy gurdys aren't the greatest instrument known to man
look at this faggot

>>51060755
>I was originally going to post some french folk
post french ppl pls

>>51074898
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CB0ktXtGrFM

>>51076409
PERFECT.
It's like all the sound at the same time.

>>51056756
Tavern is pretty much an archaic word for a pub essentially a bar

>>51070571
You'd rather pay for the fleas and lice?

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>>51075442
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnk4h_PM4_k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93MSBZB1AXA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuivDhPrA3o
You will love it because of how medieval it feels

I find it pretty unrealistic that every establishment happens to have some form of music, maybe even a band, and that it can even be heard over the patrons, what with the noise and the shitty acoustics.

>>51074607
Usually black, sometimes white depending on species.
Orange carrots were selectively bred by the Dutch quite recently because nationalism.

>>51068667
>>51072358
Don't be ridiculous anons. Potatoes, orange carrots and spices are perfectly realistic for fantasy europe. But brown people? REEEEEEEEE

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>>51081914
Getting triggered by medieval orange carrots is silly.

>>51056571

You forgot tips