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Horror stories about your players.
>Be GM last night
>Have a quick, straightforward sewer adventure set up
>On Roll20 and using Google Hangouts to chat
>The moment the PCs get online, they begin talking over each other for 20 solid minutes about sheer nonsense. MMA moves their characters do, how cool their anime swords are, conspiracy theories about Pizzagate, etc.
>I can't get a single word in edgewise for like 30 mins. They just keep interrupting me and talking over me.
>Finally get these autists to focus on the adventure.
>They can't even get down a fucking hallway without sperging out. One just runs down the hallway doing flips and yelling out John Cena's theme song. Another tries to use pyromancy to make a fire dragon to ride the 50 feet of hallway.The third just did a belly flop into the river of shit water and doggy paddles. The last does tacticool sweeps, checking every corner.
>They find a store room belonging to the skaven, raid it, and insist that they find a "red pill", which they insist gives them "true clarity". They now claim that jet fuel can't melt steel beams.
>They finally encounter the enemy, an ambush of skaven gutter runners. The Skaven saw them coming a mile away because of all the noise and pyrotechnics they used to walk from A to B.
>It's a disaster.
>The Fighter says that he murders his opponent with a dildo-jackhammer that he assfucks his enemy with.
>The Arcane Duelist keeps trying to do edgy weeaboo moves, but every roll fails, and the rat ninja is cutting him to pieces.
>The Bard, a child molesting cannibal, throws his codpiece at the enemy, expecting his team to combo off this and somehow turn it into a magical grenade. They don't, so nothing happens.
>The Pyromancer is the only one trying to take this a little bit serious, until they attack their opponent with a penis made of fire.
>They derp their way through the fight, and I call the session there because I can't handle the sheer autism.
Hbu?
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Is that even real? Did this happen?
My players get really in character, to the point of devising horrifying new torture techniques that involve fire, anal prolapses, and flaying. They called it "the kitty."
I should point out that they're women too. That's all I got.
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>>50612696
>The Alt-Right boogeymen ruined my D&D!
Sure thing.
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>>50613136
>Nah, no players could possibly be this twiste-
>Oh, they're female Players. Carry on.
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>>50612696
No way this shit happened.
>Roll20
I'm so sorry for doubting you, OP.
I don't have a horror story, but i do have a story.
Session 1.
>Party arrives in village and meets the mayor.
>Mayor assigns them to track down a monster.
>"it's not like the typical doppelgangers we get"
>party: what's a doppelganger?
>Mayor loses 2d6 respect for the party
>explains- unintelligent shapeshifters that mimic humans and human speech patterns.
Session ends. So far so good. Now session 2.
>Party hit up local inns for leads on the monster
>New player who missed session 1 starts questioning a drunk at the bar.
>Drunk is speaking in sentence fragments
> "yes is very well and is but no for is and then went around ran walk run road to and well"
>lolwut better walk this guy home
>Leaves the bar in the middle of the night with the gibbering man
>Rest of the party is giving me a Look but refuse to say anything
>one makes a fucking "Doppelgangers" image macro
>newguy gets a massive chunk bitten out of his shoulder from the Obvious Doppelganger's free attack.
They all survived because I neglected to mention or use the 'auto crit on oblivious or disabled targets' rule until after combat.
And that's how I almost killed a PC in the first round of the first combat of my first "real" session of a tabletop RPG and had to fudge the rules to save our caster from his own party.
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>>50613448
>Session 1.
>
>>Party arrives in village and meets the mayor.
>>Mayor assigns them to track down a monster.
>>"it's not like the typical doppelgangers we get"
>>party: what's a doppelganger?
>>Mayor loses 2d6 respect for the party
>>explains- unintelligent shapeshifters that mimic humans and human speech patterns.
>Session ends. So far so good. Now session 2.
Wait, what?
Session end? How long was that?
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>>50613136
>>50613448
It's real, it happened last night. This group is composed of my brothers and close friends, and we've been having together for a few months now. So, we're pretty comfortable around each other, so that explains why they do this.
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>>50613213
Alt Right is retarded, so yeah, listening to baseless conspiracy theories when I'm trying to run a game is pretty distracting.
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>>50613516
Character creation session that got cut short early.
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>>50613213
"Red pill", "jet fuel" etc. are all normal memes by this point, I don't think he really was claiming that they were "Alt-Right".
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>>50612696
this is why you don't recruit on /tg/
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>>50614079
So really it was "me and my friends acting retarded", and not "look at the awful people in our shared community"
Poor form anon
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Had a guy leave mid turn 2 1/2 hours into a game so he could go play MTG with his friends. This was an open table game session so anyone could come play but seats were locked once it started. To top it off our DM stuck his neck out and saved him a seat.
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Any other horror stories?
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>>50613213
let me guess you believe in pizzagate don't you you fat fuck
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>>50619480
t. butthurt Shillfag
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>>50619520
/pol/ go home
>>50619480
Don't encourage him
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>>50619480
Trafficking absolutely happens, despite everyone wishing it didn't. What clients do with their spoils, well, we don't know--but you can use your imagination.
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>>50614079
>that explains why they do this.
No, they do this because you allow it.
The end.
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