>Wait...which one of you picked up the sword in the treasure

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>>50486455
> DM suddenly smirks and asks how much do we weight with our equipment

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>Whats your walking order?

At least your DMs are fair.

>Who ate the last nacho?

>>50486455
>How many shots is that? How many arrows do you have left?

>Are those your exact words?

>for some reason the faucet turns the other way now

>>50486599
>Motherfucker you have not worried over my arrows until literally this moment.

>>50487783
>Sassing the GM

Oh, look at that, your bow snapped. How unfortunate.

>And what finger do you put the ring on?

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>did you pull out or cum inside the bar wench?

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>ok, i leave return to the door and leave the room

>what door?

>Innnnnteresting

GAME OVER MAN GAME OVER!

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>DM laughs when you tell him roll number

>>50486537
Fucking this. Players get so jumpy when I ask this. I've begun asking this when there's nothing wrong even. I just like to see them sweat.

>>50491243
You should also be rolling dice from time to time for no reason.

>>50491272
Bitch please. I also will randomly throw open a random book from time to time and "consult" something therein.

>Are you sure there's nothing else you want to do?
Nope. They left six prisoners together, united, in an unsecured room.
>So who's in what room?
We all go back to the ship's bridge with our kidnapped pilot.

For some reason they were really surprised when the prisoners woke up from being knocked on the head only six hours later. Of course nobody was watching them and they weren't bound so the prisoners just disabled the engine and set up trip mines all over the place before taking an escape pod.

>>50487971
>GM turns into an asshole
Have a nice life.

>>50491272
Different anon, but I like to roll a certain pair of D6s of mine that that have the primary and secondary colors instead of numbers. So the players see the rolls but have no idea what they mean while I do.

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>Are you sure you want to do that?

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>are you sure you want to do that?
>yes
>are you SURE?
>yes
>are you SUUUUUUREEEEEEEEEE??????
>yes
>he plays a counter to my action
>I play a counter-counter to his counter I saved just for this moment
Eat shit.

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>Harry, where is your blasting rod?

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>>50491493

>i walk over to otherpc
>you mean between all of those fucking robots

>>50491272
>rolling dice from time to time
Usually I roll perception passively for my players, among other things, but I also let them roll perception on their own if they want details.

So now whenever I roll the dice and tell my players nothing they request to roll perception every time.

So in the end I settled for pre-rolling like 100 rolls before each game and I just go down the list whenever I need a roll.

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>>50486455
>Wait... which hand did you use to pick up the sword?

>you seem to be developing a nasty cough.

>>50491838
>not always picking unfamiliar shit up with tongs
>or at least your off hand

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>>50491493
good job anon