"So... what do ya hope to buy with all this gold anyway?

"What good does a bostonian accent do for a dragon?"

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>>50326619
What a pleb.

Real dragons horde demiplanes.

>>50326668
* Hoard.

Shit.

>>50326619

We can trade the gold for goods and services. What does a dragon do with gold, anyways?

>>50326619
I'm gonna invest it in real estate. Maybe buy a small kingdom and set it up as a tax haven for merchants guilds.

>>50326619

Get yourself enough gold, and dinner starts walking in the front door every night.

>>50326696
>not banning the guilds to gain the support of the nobles that provide armies for your rule
Filthy plebian trash detected

>>50326692
Dragons are like female mosquitos. Like misquitos who need blood, dragons need gold in order to produce eggs.

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>>50326619
More whores

>>50326619
"They're my only friends, adventurer. All 6,735,974,325,324 of them.

And oh, they're all animated, every single one of them."

Well, in the Dragon Magic book for 3.5, at the end of their lives dragons eat their hoard, and when they eat enough their corpse becomes a healthy breeding ground for wyrmlings.

>>50326715
My armies are going to be a bunch of mercenaries. At least I know where their loyalties will always lie.

>>50326619
>Hookers and booze, dragon. What do you use it for?

>>50326619
>Gold is a semi-magical conductor, which has an odd effect to the minds of men, causing feelings of greed and distrust to increase, as they feel an odd affinity for the material, despite not knowing why
>Dragons feel this tenfold, hence why they hoard it

>>50326619
To attract mates. How is this not obvious to you?

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>>50328727

Dragons are like giant murderous bowerbirds.

>>50326619
>"What is this concept of 'buying' things? Gold is gold, and I collect gold because it is gold. Why would I ever give it away?"

>>50328782
Wait, shit, just realized the OP was answering an inquisitive dragon, not the other way around. ell, it still works for an adventurer. if your character is shit

>>50326619
I'm going to distribute it to the needy, along with free lessons on investing and entrepreneurship.

If all goes well, I'll have invented the bourgeois two hundred years early!

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>>50326677
Fools hoard gold. Real dragons hoard hordes.

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>>50326692

>>50328727
>so, your women are also over-spenders she-demons?
>Life is naught but agony by the hand of them, alas you desire them too over here little mortal.
>You feel me mr. dragon.

>>50326619
Why he's holding his balls?

>>50329101
Dragon semen is a well-known metal polish. Besides, you're a dragon, and you tell me you're not already jacking it to the size of your horde?

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>>50326619
"Not me. Them."

European dragons represent greed. They hoard gold and women even thought they have zero uses for them, because of the value those two things have to humans.

>>50326619
I smoke it.

>>50329136
https://archive.org/details/funny_or_die_video_f7112b01fb
Dragon insurance policy against having his hoard stolen?

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>>50326619
Bah. Foolish whelp. They give it to bigger dragons than you, obviously.

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>>50326656

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>>50326619

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>>50329635

>>50327727
A golem made of gold?

>>50329764
More like coins of animated gold golems. They're coins, but with tiny arms and legs.

They provide antics the dragon enjoys.

>>50329918
>They provide antics the dragon enjoys.
I just realized i have a really dirty mind.

>>50326619
You don't hoard it to spend it, you hoard it so humanoids can't have it.

>>50330123
>You don't hoard it to spend it, you hoard it so that others can't have it.
That's...pretty damn good way to put the dragon mindset. I like it!

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Oh, I'm not buying anything with it, this is just all the gold I saved by not paying for video games.

>>50326692
I like how dragons are obsessed by something that has no use for them. Its like a curse.
Or maybe they do have some obscure use for it but we don't know enough about how their society and their lives work to understand it.

>>50326619
Immortality.

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>>50326619
People's monstrous greed transforms them into dragons. At that point, they no longer have any use for riches, but they are still possessed by an irresistible compulsion to gather and guard them. It is, perhaps, a divine punishment for their sin.

>>50326619
>Not "What is your purpose here, Arisen?"
Shit voice/10, would not take my heart back from.

In the beginning the progenitor of dragon kind fought against beings from another planet who had evolved differently from our planet and their weakness was being in touch with gold.

He made his entire kind to carry him gold to fight these creatures and they fulfilled his wish and spent their every moment filling his request.

After the dragons drove out the beings they went after them and chased them to completely erase them and left behind only those wounded and too young to follow.

As such as dragon generations were born and died the original purpose for the metal was lost to many, but every dragons still felt the original order from their progenitor and as such they to this day hoard the metal for their creator.

This can be seen by the fact that some of the elder dragons mostly have their gold forged as huge plates for armor and gigantic weapons while the younger ones are content in it being in whatever form it might be in.

>>50326619

Mo money mo problems...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUhRKVIjJtw

>>50326619
Gold? Who cares about gold? I came here to punch you in the face. That's the only reason I'm here.

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>"So... what do ya hope to buy with all this gold anyway? I mean what good does any of this do for ya?"

Spending gold is no way to build or maintain a hoard.

>>50326619
I'm am a monk bitch.
Imma get the fanciest clothes i can wear while kicking your ass.

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>>50334024
Outdragoning a dragon.

>implying i care about the gold
Gold cannot buy glory!

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>>50327727
"Can I be your friend?"

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>>50326619

I do it as a hobby.

>>50332546
>A monstrously greedy person gets turned from an ordinary human to a giant fire-breathing fire lizard.
>They can now gather even more gold and kill most people who try to stop them.
How is that a punishment?

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>>50329635

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>>50332546
>the dragon is an adventurer who killed the previous dragon for its treasure

>>50337142
I could actually really get into this for your generic fantasy world with adventurers running amock.

Just have a very high-level generic kleptomaniac rogue end up as an ancient being with a massive hoard living in a cave.

I now know my next mini-boss.

>>50326619
Buy a castle

>>50337142
There was some very old cartoon in a language I can't recall with this plot.

>>50326619
You don't understand, man.
Have you ever put your hands inside a bag of beans?
That's exactly how gold feels on dragon hide.

>>50326619
for stuff you know things

>>50336163
At one time not being able to interact with other humans was considered a serious punishment. Just because isolation isn't considered a try punishment any more doesn't mean that people didn't used to think it was.

>>50336056
Wow, that dragon is so nice to be giving all the humans in that little town presents from his sack of toys.

>>50328684
Basically the same.
On the hooters are the lured in adventurers.

>>50337713
Maybe a russian/soviet cartoon?