/tg/, how what would you do if you were turned into a mouse,

>>50219649
I'm going to be spending the next years I have left playing play-by-post RPGS, I guess.

>>50219649
Scream internally, unable to vocalize my abject terror with the universe that has betrayed me.

>>50219649
Probably be eaten by my cat.

>>50219649
The same thing we do every night Pinky...

>>50219649
OP, I own two cats.
Who are really good at catching mice, chipmunks, voles and at least on squirrel.


I'm fucking doomed.

>>50219847
>>50219842
>>50219832
>>50219822
>>50219801
None of this would make a very interesting campaign.

The furry fuckfest it is : (

>>50219940
None of this is a very interesting post.

>>50219967
Sorry.

>>50219649
Live through mice & mystics' campaign I guess.

Slip the potion that turns people into mice into the witches' soup, then go to the Grand High Witch's castle in Norway, assassinate her successor with the potion and some cats, and use her files and resources to track down all the word's witches.

>>50220020
What was the name of the book, again ?

>>50220055
It's a Roald Dahl book, Who's afraid of witches I think.

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>>50219649
Find a fucking newspaper and start gnawing to have enough letter to spell on my desk :
"HELP. MOUSE IS [ANON]. DO NOT KILL"

So that when my gf freaks out, it marginally increase my chance of survival.
If I have enough time, I'll try to set some kind of DIY Ouija Board for further communication.

Try to be the best goddamn mouse I can be. Gonna get it on with all the finest mouse-ladies.

>>50219649
Get to ISIS land or [insert political entity you don't like] and start murdering them in their sleep or provide information for intelligence agencies.

>>50220100

>Be mouse now
>Find mouse lady
>"-Why hello. My name is anon. Are you..."
>"-Cheese. You smell of cheese. Got cheese ?"
>"-That would be the cheetos, yes. But as I was saying..."
>"-Where ? Where cheese ?"
>"-In my... I mean in the human's room. I'll show you if..."
>"-Talk funny. You don't smell me. Why you don't smell me. You weird."
>Another, bigger mouse arrive
>"-Cheese. You smell of cheese."
>"-As I said to the little miss"
>"-Female mine."
>"-I'm sure she can decide that for herself and"
>"-You talk weird. You hide cheese. You want female. Female mine. Cheese mine. Get away, freak"

Pecking order doesn't change.

>>50219832
This. My cat once caught a mouse and spread her guts and other body parts over around 2 square meters.

>>50219649
Starve to death.

I keep all my food in sealed containers because I had ants during the summer, and as a mouse, I'd be much to small to open any of them.

>>50220125
Following a trail of mysteriously messages written in a very tiny font, the CIA has found the bodies of dozens of high-profile jihadists over the course of the last month.
The trail eventually led to the 1st Rodent Legion.

In an old christian church near Alepo, thousands of rats, gerbils and mouses are busy eating the cargo of sweet cherries you brought them.
It is their treat, the "reward" element of the pavlovian training that, now that you can communicate basically with these creatures, has made them the sneaky mercenaries they are today.

On the burn effigy of Jesus on the cross, a message is spread from one hand to the other.
It welcomes the american agents and tell them to "speak to the Mouse King"

The Mouse King stand on the altar, gnawing on a pack of oreos. He wears a piece of camo and a tiny aluminium crown.
An Ouja board is before him and, on his squeak, two other mouses push the pawn.

"HELLO, CIA."

>>50220230
Two more months have passed.

In the Caliphate, rewards are offered for dead rodents.
No jihadist sleeps in groups of less than three, with two watching over the other. A striking reverse of the usual watch routine.
There are mousetraps in EVERY. FUCKING. ROOM. OF. EVERY. FUCKING. HOUSE.
Letting food in the open is punished in the same way as insulting the prophet.
Same goes for missing to spread ratpoison in his house every week or to own a cat.
And if you are found breeding rats or even harboring a nest in your home, the whole family is to be fed to wild dogs.

All this do not change nothing for you.
Somewhere in Greek-control Cyprus, you have built Ratopia One, the first of several "military breeding colony", where the brightest of all rodents are coupled and their offspring and then learn of the Cheetos Cult.

>>50219649

I'd wear a highly-visible hat so people would know I was intelligent, or at least assume I was someone's pet, drastically improving my odds of survival around humans.

>>50219940

> Pinky and the Brain
> not making an interesting campaign

>>50219649
Use my now perfectly sized body to sneak into houses and watch milfs getting undressed and or bathing.

And then fuck all the mouse bitches and hoes that live in the milfs house walls.

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>>50220317

It is said in the Archives of Skaros that the Gods created the world, spreading it with all kind of delicious marvels before going to live in Heaven, where they eat an endless feast with the heroes who died in battle against the heretics.

The Mouse King is their prophet and through his mouth they squeak.

If you die a martyr in the service of their cause, you shall go to the Great Hall with them, living an eternity of endless feast, your fur groomed by 69 young female hungry for your seed.

Now be bright, be smart, be strong and show courage !! Your reward is close !!
Obey to the Prophet as he is your Mouse King !! He will bring you up there, briefly, into paradise, before dropping you back to earn your return at the table of the Gods !!

Die or survive, it matters not for all are called to be judged one day.
But when you die, know that if your mission is accomplished, you shall have your seat !!

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>>50220396
And so, from Ratopia's training camps, thousands of rats, mouses and other rodents, after having been brainwashed, are briefly introduced to a day-long electricity-induced orgasm... and then para-dropped on Syria.

There, they are seeking their prey, trained to find the scent of an old unwashed beard, the musk of freshly smoked hashish and the sound of incoherent blasphems.
Ending the life of their targets or at least their own while trying, they wait for paradise to rapture them...

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>>50220230
>>50220317
>>50220396
You should have stopped at the first part. You took it to far, and now you should feel bad.

>>50220459
I still like it, keep going.

>>50220076
It's just called "The Witches"

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>>50219649
>have sex with as many female mice as possible
>usher in a new era of intelligent mice
>crossbreed with rats for stronger and more resilient bodies.
>create an empire that will topple man
>be know as the horny rat
>end up having sex with human slaves
>human slaves will give birth to half human half rat people.
>advance technology enough to enable space travel.
>colonize the moon
>colour the moon green for shits and giggles.

a 1000 years later rat-people everywhere claim their allegiance to the horned rat <:^)

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>ctrl+F "Mouse Guard"
>0 results.

Come on people

>>50219649
Probably get eaten.

>>50219649
Shitpost on /tg/.

>>50220170
But you forget you now ave rodent teeth and can chew through most things given enough time.