Who's the most "unique" individual you've

>>50168820
A guy with a blackhead on his forehead the size of a dime. Crybaby That Guy who whined when he took damage. Any damage at all. Smelled. Completely socially retarded, and oblivious to how retarded he was. Mostly though, I remember that blackhead. And the fact that some girl I knew of actually let him fuck her and had a kid with him.

File: 1478582130193.jpg (219KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

219KB, 600x600px

My old roommate. Had a strong fetish for gore and other fucked up stuff. The guy to try and rape everything in a RPG. Played a Nurgle army, day I kicked him out of my house I almost wanted to burn down the room due to the amount of mold in there and the litteral mountain of fapsocks.

I see tbfp stuff on /tg/ pretty often. Have they ever done anything tabletop related?

>>50168820
A soft-spoken young man who was eager to play RPGs but had very little experience outside of video games. He started "getting sick" a few weeks in a row. It turns out he wanted to spend time with his estranged father and didn't want anyone to pry. He stopped coming after we found out. Although, in this order, he did these things:
>Broke up with his girlfriend because she wouldn't accept responsibility for not fucking him enough, admitting that he cheated on her multiple times because of this
>Became something akin to a /fit/izen
>Cut all ties in his social life apart from his ex
>Turned up drunk to his ex's house when she got into a relationship with another guy, threatening violence he had come straight from a party where he had sex with another girl
>Somehow convinced his ex to see him weekly, where she just ended up cleaning up after him because she has OCD and his life was falling apart
Damn shame because we were waiting for another player to have time to run an Only War campaign and this guy played Inquisitor types really well.

File: woolie dnd.png (423KB, 637x358px) Image search: [Google]

423KB, 637x358px

>>50168932
No, but goddamn do I want them to.

>>50168820
https://www.reddit.com/r/fatpeoplestories/comments/1ztztr/the_saga_of_silkham_part_1/

>>50169163
Who would be DM, who would be That Guy?

>>50168820
Matt a shit
Pat a best

>>50169331
Plague would DM and they would ALL be That Guy.

>an elf(male), a half-orc monk/cleric, a dwarf barbarian, and a fighter venture through the horrors of Plague's Magical Realm

>>50169331
I'd love for them to play but I don't know if they would have a good format and feel to it. I would love to see them play board games though

I met Trout. He's very proud of being Trout for some reason. He tried to touch my hair.

File: What the Fuck.gif (3MB, 400x344px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 400x344px

>>50168820
Really big guy, like six foot, 350lbs or so, and about 45 or 50 years old. I only talked to him a handful of times over a couple years while he and I were going to the same gaming club. I heard a story about him throwing a chair at someone because he was mad. I also saw him start shouting, like super fucking loud and angry, at another guy in a pizza shop, because the guy walked up to a table and asked if anyone wanted to play some board game, and this dude started accusing him of poaching his players. Most of us at the table were just eating pizza, not even involved with his board game.

He was in a game I ran one time, because, being young and stupid, I said anyone could join. He had the longest, dirtiest fingernails I have ever seen in my life. Big, sweaty, sloppily bearded. Very loud and aggressive, especially toward the girls in the game, not like in a creepy or hostile way, but very white knighty, constantly interrupting them as they talked or tried to do something so his character could jump in front of them or do something dangerous instead of them. While he was sitting there playing, we noticed that the whole small of his back was splattered with dried shit. Human feces. It was sprayed up his back several inches, caked all over his underwear and pants, thick in the large part of his butt crack that was visible, and dried onto the hem of his t-shirt.

At the end of that game, I said to my friends I hoped he had died that week, so I didn't have to deal with him again. Later found out he had a heart attack a few days later and died.

>>50170547
What the goddamn fuck?! No, seriously what in the actual fuck?

>>50170547
Just remember to use those psionic powers for good, anon.

>>50170592
I know, right? I've wished death on a lot of people over the years. Might have been better times for it to work, but I can't complain.

>>50170483
Not THE Trout, is he?

Pic related: he's the capybara.

File: Nurgbeard.jpg (29KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 500x500px

>>50168906
> due to the amount of mold in there and the litteral mountain of fapsocks.
Holy shit, he really worshiped nurgle.
Beautiful.

File: IMG_0708.png (1MB, 1641x2188px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1641x2188px

>>50170630
Forgot pic

>>50170651
>>50170630
Do you know of any other Trouts infamous for being terrible 'That Guy's?

>>50170483
>>50170630
Who?

File: shadowrun_storytime_complete.pdf (1B, 486x500px)

1B, 486x500px

>>50170785
That Guy from Shadowrun Storytime, you should read it.

>>50170222
My negro-american

>>50168932
>>50169163
They've done a playthrough of a D&D beat-em-up a while back, and they've been sponsored by D&D a couple of times on the podcast. Pat's mentioned that he was going to be part of a D&D game, but apparently the dm lost all the data on the world he'd built over the years and got super depressed about it.

>>50170222
>Liam a shit
ftfy

When I started tabletop I was a shy kid in my late teens and my first ever group was full of 'unique' people. So much so that 12 years later I still haven't met anyone quite like two of them.

First is a guy who was a total religious psycho. Not in the westboro church way where he wanted to protest baby funerals but in a way more similar to Muslim extremists only he was catholic. He would always talk about how the faith in god needed to be restored and cleansing of blood. He was really charismatic and in his mid 20s so as a young lad I was half converted into to following him, luckily when he started taking me to the gun range to "prepare" I got a bit scared and fell back. His Cleric in game was equally charismatic only he was on a literal quest to restore the name of his god and killing heretics. After my first fighter died because it was a poorly made first character I made a Paladin follower of the same god and we killed all kinds of heretics together.

Second was a college girl in her early 20s who was big into anime and got me into stuff beyond Dragon Ball and Pokemon. She seemed super normal at first short of her anime addiction, and being a shy kid I fell for her pretty hard since she showed me the smallest amount of attention. Shit started getting weird when she would do self mutilation stuff with her Rogue in game. Cutting herself after kills and stuff like that, and really getting into the role playing. I ended up losing my virginity to her even though she had a boyfriend and she would ask me to choke her and stuff. Her arms and legs were also covered with knife scars. Eventually her boyfriend found out and I got really scared and quit the group at this point.

Last two guys were strange too but just in the basic neckbeard way I see all the time. One guy was big into furry stuff and the other just super edgelord.

>>50170222
Pat's a tryhard fedora from Neogaf.
Matt's just a retard.
Liam is the only one there who is actually good at video games but he is a little babby.
Woolie is the most fun but he's a complete moron.

>>50169331
i feel like woolie would be the dm because he's the one to organize a lot of the stuff that isn't lp related. the podcast, the mailbag, and he always goes to different conventions and even started cosplaying. between the four of them he'd be the most organized and they'd nominate him to be the dm. matt would be That Guy because he'd do a lot of stuff he thinks is funny, regardless of how actually humorous those actions are and how they effect the party. pat would get angry a lot but the dude is a big push over with a loud bark, and liam would be a little magical realm but overall not that bad. the only person that would cause a problem is matt. if they brought in other people outside of the main zaibatsu, i'd imagine paige would hop in once in a while when she's in town, and there'd maybe be plague and german spy over skype. plague would be magical realm master and german spy would want lore and be a broken munchkin because he'd expect a lot more from woolie than he actually delivers. but that's all my own thoughts on those fuckers.

An old ex-mercenary who used to brag about some book he'd hired someone to write, but "She was bad at it" so he wrote the rest himself. Never saw the book but whether the LGS owners saw it or were stringing me along, more likely the latter, it supposedly included a picture of him standing on top of a pile of african corpses.

The guy was interested in playing Battletech, so I tried my hand at teaching him the introductory rules, but my patience was tried. He also called my house and left a message that he would go to the LGS at so and so a time, but told me that he had no phone or way to be responded to, so there was literally no way for me to say "I'm busy that day".

I think he moved away or died or something. No idea. Nice old guy, but thick and nutty as an Eat-More bar. He thought the mechs were monsters or kaiju or something, apparently.

>>50170222
>>50170813
>>50170877
>>50171144
I want Omikron to continue. Their cries of anguish lulled me to sleep without fail.

>>50170235
>it's all an elaborate ploy to get them to fix his fence

File: pol runs out of logical arguments.jpg (492KB, 900x583px) Image search: [Google]

492KB, 900x583px

A dutch nazi with a fetish for decapitations and peeling people's skin off, something he was sure to make part of his character. He also had the uncanny ability to get people to side with him on any argument, despite being as charismatic as an angry smiley painted on concrete.

Then one day he got angry because his spesul snofleik was being arrested for being a psycho and left.

>>50170483
is it the trout king, fuck that guy

>>50171144
Pat's a self-aware tryhard fedora from Neogaf, that's the key difference.

>>50171687
>He thought the mechs were monsters or kaiju or something, apparently.
Shoulda rolled with it and played as Greenburg's Godzillas.

File: tmp_2487-2016-11-09 13.16.49-239115452.png (61KB, 536x365px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 536x365px

>>50171715
You need not worry, they've said it's going to come back after the Dark Souls 3 DLC, which is scheduled to finish at the end of the week.

>>50170794
Seriously, its the best cyberpunk novel Ive ever read

>>50170222

Woolie a shit. Pat a best.

>>50168820
Where else am I supposed to eat candy?

>>50168932
They talked about perhaps playing a TTRPG for the show on the podcast one time. I think it was one of the episodes with Brennan Williams.

Everyone on the Zaibatsu are living in their darkest timeline.

How did it come to this.

>>50170634
I really wish I was joking, but the smell still haunts me

>>50168820
>tigrex
>at the top
>over Zinogre
Shit taste. Whoever wrote that shirt should be ashamed

A danish SJW faggot that literally ran background checks on the other players and then threw a shitfit when it turned out that one of them didn't agree with his brand of politics.

>>50168932
I recall theyve mentioned 40k, in the context I think it was Matts disbelief at that giant rock saw, calling it something out of 40k

>>50168820
Met a guy who must be a PC in the game of life. 6'5, built like a house and thick Australian accent.
>Joins my WoD game
>GM can't host
>New guy says he knows a place
>Takes us into the city
>See an electronics store with basement access
>He picks the lock
>Disables security monitor
>Set up a table and some chairs
>Have a pretty fun game
>Feeling hungry at the end, but no where good is open
>New guy disappears for 20 minutes, comes back, goes up into the store and builds a makeshift kitchen in the basement
>Cooks a mixed grill with salad
>Fucking delicious
>Decide to go drinking
>Somehow gets multiple rounds for free
>Now slightly drunk, head out
>New guy gets a call
>His girlfriend wants to see him
>We're fine with her hanging out with us
>Drives us all over to a fucking mental hospital
>Breaks in through multiple layers of security
>Takes her out without anyone noticing
>We're all nervous
>Eventually calm down and have a good time driving around to cool secluded places
>Drops everyone home one by one
>He drops his girlfriend back in the hospital and resets each layer of security behind him
>He does this every week because of their restrictive visiting policy
>Head home
>Get pulled over by cops
>Open containers in the car and we still smell like booze
>New guy talks his way out of it
>Head home and park the car
>We live near each other, so I walk him through the shitty area
>Drunk guys pick a fight with us
>New guy grapples and tosses them around like ragdolls
>Have a few more games before he mysteriously disappears

The guy's either in prison or on the run with his insane girlfriend.

File: laughing_black_panther.gif (768KB, 300x347px) Image search: [Google]

768KB, 300x347px

>>50172970
>things that totaly happened
let me guess, when he dissapeared the whole bus clapped?

File: Level 2 Friend.png (65KB, 949x924px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 949x924px

>>50172970
Nice story

>>50170547
Ignoring your psychic death powers, why was he caked in fucking feces? Surely someone asked right? You guys couldn't have all just been cool with that and ignored it. It's not like ignoring a booger in someone's nose or trying not to look at a large mole, his fucking clothes were covered in shit. Someone HAD to have asked right? Were they always like that or just once? Why would someone let a shit covered person into their home? How did he think females would be even mildly interested in a person caked with fucking shit? Please explain this anon. I'm baffled and need to know what the fuck. Please do not kill me.

>>50170898

>Second was a college girl in her early 20s who was big into anime and got me into stuff beyond Dragon Ball and Pokemon. She seemed super normal at first short of her anime addiction, and being a shy kid I fell for her pretty hard since she showed me the smallest amount of attention. Shit started getting weird when she would do self mutilation stuff with her Rogue in game. Cutting herself after kills and stuff like that, and really getting into the role playing. I ended up losing my virginity to her even though she had a boyfriend and she would ask me to choke her and stuff. Her arms and legs were also covered with knife scars. Eventually her boyfriend found out and I got really scared and quit the group at this point.

That's not weird, that is like a normal weekday for me and my friends. but, we are not really normal...

>>50171144
Woolie seems like the best one to talk to but yeah he should never touch a controller

>>50172188
Pat is doing pretty well for himself, which ironically is making his sanity erode away

>>50168820
Wow, Seinfeld Guy seems pretty tame compared to these. He just kept coming up to everyone mid-session for a week and asking us if we watched seinfeld or "knew that episode, like, with kramer"

we're in our early 20s dude why the hell would we have watched seinfeld.

>>50171144
tfw you met liam at a mutual friend from CEGEP's party and had an awkward twenty-minute conversation about how to pronounce Tharja's name while said friend was puking up pure creme de menthe that he'd been chugging from the bottle one room over

strangest goddamn party of my life. Seeing him brought up in places like this is fucking weird, and I don't even watch TBFP ever since my ex once said she had a crush on liam's voice, unaware of above story.

>>50174386
With the exception of Wollie, aka Worse Brennan, they're all doing pretty good.

>>50174559

How are you supposed to pronounce her name?

>>50174614

Pat's falling apart and will soon become the world's first intelligent toilet.

>>50174614

Lets be fair here.

We're all worse than Brennan Williams.

>>50174614
Woolie. Two o's, one L.

File: 1392017549161.png (22KB, 234x200px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 234x200px

>>50174796

>mfw the exact moment Brennan discovered Woolie was black on the podcast

>>50174815
He is the whitest sounding black guy that looks hyper black ever, as long as he's not talking thug.

Who's Williams?

>>50174775
>Pat
>Intelligent
Pick one

>>50174796
True, Brennan "I have two kids" Williams is pretty much a perfect human.

>>50174799
Yeah I know, realised the moment I posted it.

>>50174815
Woolie isn't black, he's just wearing blackface in support of Mega Gerbil Hops and the other Blackface Boys.

>>50168820
Guy I used to know, gigantic manhoe and inflated ego, was the biggest secret fatasses I've ever known. Man was gifted a high metabolism so we didn't know, but one day we where fucking about and someone opened his closet. dude panics and tries to stop him but by the time he get there a mountain of candy, snack cakes, and I think an actual cake begin pouring out of the closet. There was no actual clothes in there or anything useful just a hoard of candy.

>>50168820
I shall forever more remember, and dread, the name Shanahan, all because of Dungeons and Dragons.

It began in High School, there was a Tabletop Game club that some of my friends would go to, and they invited me one time. As it turns out, the club had quite a few people in it, just over a dozen, and I figured I might even be able to find a game on my first go. And then Shanahan walks in. He's the President of the club.

Now, he is exactly what you think of when you hear someone wears a fedora. Neckbeard, lanky, long coat, neck-length hair, but nothing really off putting except his stutter, which would make him repeat entire sentences multiple times. He'd usually have to stare at someone to focus, and it was usually me.

He had a laptop, and on it he kept Powerpoints for his games. I learned that the only game the club was running, complete with the whole more-than-a-dozen group, was being DMed by him, and that the group was trying to track down a BBEG that was a crazed 'human' artificer by the name of Mortos Vivos. What's more is that multiple characters (oddly enough, the ones created by Shanahan's personal friends) had a few 'alterations' from the BBEG, such as our Minotaur Runepriest who had robotic legs that had wheels for heels.

And did I mention Vivos' sort of pet dragon named Ragnarok? It's the thing that ripped the Minotaur's legs off.

I stayed for one session, quit, and then a few weeks or months later I came back since my friends said that game had ended. Shanahan was no longer the only DM (But still maintained a large group, mostly filled with new people), and I got to do some Dark Heresy. Things went smoothly, and then Shanahan announced he was doing another 'Big Game' for the experienced members. I joined for shits and giggles.

It was set in a 'steampunk' world, soul sucking empires, cliche rebels, etc. etc.. It started out okay and then we find evidence of a crazed artificer running around experimenting on people.

Anybody want more?

>>50175013
Keep going.

>>50175013
Yes, pleae

>>50175013
I'm interested.

>>50175013
2/?
Alright, well, the group's on its merry way, and we do typical PC stuff. Steal a sand ship, escape into the desert, think about becoming pirates and suddenly the ship just shuts down.

Luckily, we're close to a landmark, and it happens to be a giant tree.We climb inside, and see there's a dragon at the bottom. Not Ragnarok, and I have to give him credit for not being that dumb. Before we go to fight it, though, our Warlock discovers that the tree is made of souls, somehow, and decides to try and absorb them to gain power. The end result is that the tree instead is absorbed into a leather-bound book at its base with us inside, and we take a trip through some realm of magic.

Now, in between meetings a friend tells me that the name of this book was also the name of the book that Mortos Vivos had, which I had sort of guessed due to it being some latin crap. They also tell me that Vivos was Shanahan's first character ever.

The meeting after, we're introduced to Vivos himself. No, the artificer running around experimenting is not actually Vivos, it's just his avatar. Vivos is explained to be a lawful good godly entity, working against the world-consuming dragon Ragnarok through his own means, and that he's been trapped within the book ever since the dragon corrupted his avatar.

Long story short, we get out of the book and find out the whole planet is going to almost literal hell. We wake up in a castle amidst a giant storm, and over the horizon we see a large shadow approaching.

We're expecting a big showdown against this stupid fucking dragon, and suddenly Vivos-lite shows up, and opens up a portal. The Minotaur Runepriest from the previous game? It's now his servant. This would be okay, if the character wasn't completely and totally min-maxed to hell and back. Ragnarok arrives as we're fighting it, since Vivos-lite does fuck all before teleporting somewhere out of reach, and suddenly actual-Vivos somehow regains control.

More soon.

>>50175013
yes

>>50168906
Luke is that you

>>50175168
3/?, likely the last one

To make things simple, Vivos uses the Runepriest to open a blackhole. It's some Rune that in reality opens a gate to Hell, or something of the sort, but it's basically a black hole. This kills the party, Ragnarok, and the Runepriest, and then Vivos shuts the black hole into the book. We were nice enough to not get mad at Shanahan, since it was his last game before graduating, but we got tired of his shit behind his back. This isn't the last part though, no, there's one more.

The next semester he says over Skype that he's looking to run a World War 1 era super-hero game based around espionage and he needs one more person. At this point I know he'll get bitchy in Skype, and nobody else goes for it, so I bite the bullet and say I'll join.

I show up with the club and go to start character creation, and he already has two friends with him, one who already finished. I opt for a stealthy British character, that sort of thing.

It turns out that, for this World War 1 espionage campaign, one of his friends was playing a Scotsman who was able to generate explosive balls of energy capable of leveling buildings, so long as he was completely hammered. The other was a walking armory of modern day tech that the character was just somehow smart enough to make, while also being stronger than than Thor and more durable than a steel bunker, going by the guy's own description.

I literally just stood up, walked over to the club, and dynamic entry'd into a Deathwatch game. That was the last time I even spoke to Shanahan. There's a few other things that happened both during his presidency and after, but Mortos Vivos and the WW1 game were what really stood out to me.

>>50175285
No, He was just a shard of Luke that came to America.

>>50175312
So let me get this straight. He got you to the big bad, then his OC came in and he said "lol you lose"?

>>50175409
Pretty much. He tried to play it off that it was the good ending and that Vivos would do some lawful good shit, so we 'won'.

>>50168906
See, I have a friend who's into that stuff, fetish-wise, but he doesn't constantly try to rape or needlessly mutilate other characters when he plays.
When he GMs, on the other hand...


But nobody minds, because he usually runs horror.

>>50175418

Should have quit the moment you heard a character is named "Death Life".

File: AAAAA.jpg (39KB, 307x485px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 307x485px

It's not so much unique in terms of Archetype, but in terms of how WELL he fit that Archetype. He was a textbook case of rules lawyer.

>Running AL because I'm retarded
>He comes in, joins my table with a character 3 levels ahead of everyone else
>"Oh, don't worry, I'll scale it down to everyone else's level". That's not legal, but whatever, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.
>When he said scale down, I thought he meant "undo XP and GP gains from all sessions until he's properly leveled down
>He literally just makes the same exact character just at a lower level
>Including his platemail and magic weapon
>Whatever, I'll have a talk with him later
>During combat, they're all thrashing some low-level garbage
>That guy goes up and hits a dude with his Two-handed sword
>Gives me that look, like he's about to wow me or something with his skill. You know, that look someone gets when they go "Hey, watch this."
>Says "I DROP my two-handed sword..."
>Okaaaay...?
>"...and then I pull out my dagger, and make a bonus action to attack!"
>Um, excuse me?
>"I get to make a bonus action attack, because my dagger is a light weapon, and my other hand is empty!"
>Firmly decline his retarded logic.
>"Well, I know how we can resolve this."
>He has that dumb look on his face as he pulls out his cellphone
>"I know the number to Wizards of the Coast"
>"I'll call them up."
>This motherfucker ACTUALLY steps away from the table mid-session to call WotC on the phone about a table I was running
>The entire table is just shooting "what the fuck?!" looks at each other
>3 minutes later, he comes back looking sullen and just says "Okay, yeah, just ignore me."

That was just day ONE of meeting him.

>>50175446
I didn't know any Latin by then. And I did, the first time around.

>>50169331
None of them have the potential to be DM except maybe, MAYBE Liam, but I don't think he's creative enough to actually create any material, or improve anything useful.

Matt has that creative flow just based on his scripted shit, but would be a terrible DM because I can't see him as impartial.

Woolie doesn't have the sense of 3D and I don't think would be a good fit for navigation purposes, and Pat is just plain shit and I could see him making a DMPC.

No, the only real solution here is to have a 5th person DM for him. Maybe Plague, or even just a random guest nobody I'd be pissed if they managed to snag Chris Perkins or even Mercer.

As for That Guys,
Pat, Liam, and Matt, in descending order, would be nothing but salt if anything bad happened to them. Pat especially considering he regularly cheats in single player games to make himself OP. Liam would get salty and suggest that the players just win even when it's not realistic, and Matt would be the least offensive, but would still get pissy if something happened to him.

Matt would also be the one to constantly make real-world references and ruin the immersion, so there's that.

Woolie is the least shitty, but he would straight up be a murderhobo to the most extreme degree, and I have no reason to believe otherwise.

I've been thinking about this a long while.

>>50168820
The story behind this is surprisingly sweet, actually.

Paige is on a diet that doesn't let her have sweets for a couple more weeks. Pat bought some candy and was eating it. Apparently she playfully commented "Eating candy around me is RUDE you know!"

So Pat decide to eat it in the closet so as not to tempt her/make her feel bad.

Not something I'd expect from him, really. More licking it slowly and mashing it against her face, laughing manically.

>>50175589
And that's why Pat's the best.

Is that closet that big or is Pat that small?

>>50175508
>he actually called up WotC
>they shut down his bullshit
Huh, I guess they aren't so bad after all

>>50175676
It's Pat. Of COURSE he's that small.

>>50171738
>left to right
DISCARDED!

>>50168820
A lifelong friend, the best GM that ever lived, and someone who set fire to my imagination all at once.

I would die for this guy.

>>50176077
Be a good friend, anon. Suck his dick.

>>50176087

Remember, it's not gay if you're laughing about how gay you're acting whenever his cock's not wedged down your throat.

>>50176087
I have bedded him while we were both shitfaced drunk and protected his sleep.

>>50173350
You and your friends cheat, choke, and cut each other up? Yeah, I'd say you're the unique one in your group.

>>50175589
It's not really that suprising, this is the guy that said he feels legitimately bad about promoting Mighty No.9 on the podcast, because he's know that them talking about it probably got some people to donate to it.

>>50175589
See, that just makes me angry.
You would imagine that she's put him on a diet against his will and he's sneaking away to gorge on sweets, but then it turns out she's the one on a diet because she wants to look her best for him and to her him hiding to eat candy is a grand romantic gesture that warmed her heart and moistened her pussy.

He's a fat bald angry short little man that plays videogames for a living and on his spare time, with nothing else going on for him. She's so out of his league and so into him that it's nonsensical.

>>50172890
>muh chinese mmo sparkledog

>>50174491
I guess he just assumed you weren't plebs

>>50175013
>Human Artificer named Undead
noice

File: 1478597939659.jpg (105KB, 877x910px) Image search: [Google]

105KB, 877x910px

>>50176172
It's not that rare to see attractive girls fall for guys way below their station.
I'm the most average dude with the most average job in the world and a /tg/ nerd on top of that, my girlfriend is a hottie that cooks and cleans for the fun of it and would take a bullet for me.
Sure she's pretty fucking dumb but still.

>>50174859
>Woolie isn't black, he's just wearing blackface in support of Mega Gerbil Hops and the other Blackface Boys.
I think you'll find that's "Blackface Boyz"
The Z is very important.

>>50174775
we ended up settling on Sar-ya over Thar-ja, mostly after five minutes of wondering if the original japanese spelling should be taken into account while another mutual friend wandered past looking for some sake he allegedly brought.

that was a weird fucking night, dude.

>>50176901
>she's pretty fucking dumb
just how dumb?

>>50177597
she has a neckbeard for a boyfriend
do you really need extra info?

File: 1476548068893.jpg (47KB, 499x750px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 499x750px

>>50177597
>watches suicide squad, harley quinn is so like me I love her
>decides to go as harley quinn for halloween, goes all out with the costume
>thinks she'll be the only harley quinn there
>realizes too late that not only is she not the only harley quinn, but she's one of dozens of harley quinns
>it ruins her night
>she now hates harley quinn
I don't know, you tell me

>>50177851
Sounds like a regular girl

File: bullet waterproof.jpg (47KB, 700x420px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 700x420px

>>50176901
>would take a bullet for me
Would she really?

One guy over the net. He had massive depression issues as well as other mental issues, he was allergic to everything and had some diseases that made him unable to work in a normal environment, his cat had died and was part of his character now and he must've been repressing something when considering what he did in game to some characters. This all added to a weird speech impediment that caused him to swallow a word or two in every sentence.

>>50178375
Need more info anon.
Green text that shit.

>>50178476
Finely dinely then, but it's not that glorious

>CoC game
>He makes an occultist character he says is based on him during his darkest hours except not as fat as he put it
>He always carried his cat in a basket with him and when I made jokes about somehow getting the cat killed if not outright kill it myself he would threaten to kill my character, mind you in a similarly joking manner, but a few times it seemed personal
>The cat was then possessed by a ghost, but that never went anywhere
>After infiltrating some cult to see the comedic event of them getting struck with laxatives and rushing for the bathroom, we kill two guards patrolling
>We generally just wanted to hide the corpses, but he wanted them to be seen and make them think that another cult did it
>He went into gruesome detail on how he gutted and slashed the corpse, most of which I blocked out because I couldn't be bothered to listen really
>He kept missing games due to health issues and psychiatrist appointments
>Constantly reminded that he was really depressed and went into territory of being edgy several times
>Contributed very little to the game really
>Left because he had missed most of the games up to a point, but we were going to let him go (in a friendly manner rather than tell him to pack his bags and not let the door hit him on the way) for the same reason anways

I can't remember further details without generalizing, but his mental problems included something with his parents, not having too many friends, never having landed a job or gotten an education due to said mental health problems, having health issues up the nose in addition to deathly allergy to half the known world (only know that he ate a sandwich which sent him into a shock and that bee stings would kill him).

>>50170794
Thankyou for posting this anon, Im doing a 9 hour nightshift were I sit on my ass all night and this has brought much entertainment.

File: 1473482627487.gif (360KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

360KB, 500x500px

>>50168820
Never played with him personally, just the only 'that guy' I ever met

>few years ago when I was at uni, meeting a friend in computer lab
>as hes packing up I talk about our pathfinder game that we playing later
>a guy from across the room hears this, marches over and tells us how much he loves d&d
>he was a little rude cutting me off but whatever nerds can be awkward and he was being friendly
>he asks us about our PCs, I barely have time to say before he cuts me off again
>tells us how he and his friends play as 20th level dragons and ponies
>tells us that they destroy any monster without effort proudly
>I politely lie through my teeth and say thats an interesting way to play
>I say that for me personally I enjoy a hard won fight, that the threat of death needs to be there for an encounter to mean something, reaffirming that thats just my way of enjoying the hobby
>stares at me for 5 seconds like I just slapped him, then suddenly starts listing of the spells his dragon can cast
>a few minutes pass, I'm forced to cut him off to say that we have to go as there was no polite way to do it, he just wouldn't stop talking
>again stares at me, then says he will pack his things and walk with us (even though he has no idea where we were going)
>lie and say we were going to be late for a lecture, got the fuck out

Never saw him again. My friend started studying elsewhere because he would come sit next to him rant about his most recent pony/dragon game, even when my friend kept flat out telling him that he wanted to be alone to study.

A guy who I'm 90% sure voted for Trump

File: B0pQk6uCAAAWq_6.jpg (56KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 600x600px

>>50168820
>having a girlfriend taller than you
Is that super alpha or super beta?

I'm bisexual with a male preference and there is a female to male trans that looks like a boy with boobs.
I have a very, very confused boner.

>>50179723
It's intensely beta.
One of the most beta things you can do.actually.

>>50179732
Gb2 /lgbt/

>>50179807

seems alpha to me, being beta isnt about things you cant change like height, its about not giving a fuck and doing what you like

>>50179723
Alpha, not saying that Pat is alpha but conquering a giantess is definitely alpha

>>50179886
>Shadow of the Colos-tits

File: 1478673342202.jpg (17KB, 212x300px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 212x300px

Cape Guy. Used to play in Pathfinder Society and there was this wormy 35 year old guy with fingerless gloves, a goatee and a pony tail that I would call Cape Guy. Reason being that every game he made sure to describe his paladin's luxuriant blue cloak emblazoned with his goddess' symbol. When he found out I (or anyone else at the table) was playing a paladin too he would get really excited and beg us to say we were wearing matching blue capes. He used to hit on the high school girls.

Or Doctah Wahwee, so named because he spoke like Doctor Light in those abysmal Megaman 8 cutscenes. He wouldn't ever do anything besides drink invisibility potions every round - "I dwink an invisibiwity poshun." He would just sit in the back of the room, invisible, letting the rest of the party do all the work. If the monster or anyone else interacted with him he would get really agitated - "I'm invisbuh, you can't see meh! You can't see muh!"

Also there was a 30 year old guy who wore a fedora and sat in the PFS room playing Pokemon on the DS with the little kids and who once shouted "Garchomp? Garchomp?! Garchomp is for fags!!" when the kids were discussing their favorite Pokemon.

PFS really brings out the weirdos.

>>50175508
Would have been better if he was right somehow or his uncle was a worker.

File: I roll to seduce.gif (1MB, 254x198px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 254x198px

>>50173149
Well

>>50173149
>why was he caked in fucking feces?
I assume he had some sort of mental problems. I don't know specifically what was wrong with him. I know he was in his forties or so and lived with family, wasn't permitted to drive, and didn't have a job as far as I know. He wasn't down syndrome, but he was certainly weird. Maybe he was autistic, but I don't know much about autism and didn't know him very well.

>Surely someone asked right? you guys couldn't have all just been cool with that and ignored it
No one asked. No one was cool with it, but I mean, we were all a bunch of teenagers, and this guy was way older than us and loud and intimidating, and super repulsive. I think we were all too afraid to say anything. If he had been our age, I'm sure we would have reacted differently. If it happened now, I'd react differently, but I was a lot younger and way more socially awkward.

>Were they always like that or just once?
I only saw the guy that way once, but I also never really spent much time near him before that, so I can't say for sure.

>Why would someone let a shit covered person into their home?
It was a club that met on a college campus. If it required being invited into a person's home, I doubt he would have been there to begin with, since no one seemed to like him, and several of the older members who'd been around longer than us avoided him, implying he was erratic and possibly violent. But that club would not kick anyone out, it seemed. No one there had any real authority or any real backbone.

>How did he think females would be even mildly interested in a person caked with fucking shit?
I do not have the knowledge or the desire to try and put myself into the shoes of a person like that. I don't really know what he was thinking, and I certainly don't know why.

>Please do not kill me.
Okay.

File: Holy Crapping Poops.jpg (17KB, 161x297px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 161x297px

>>50179822
Holy shit someone who actually knows something about people.

>>50171687
Holy shit you met Big Boss

>>50177851
She has weird boobs.

>>50176182
>muh barbaric asian bat-iger
You don't get to talk about shit taste, faggot

>>50181450
at least it's aesthetic meshes with the setting :^)

File: 1427290461283.gif (89KB, 600x450px) Image search: [Google]

89KB, 600x450px

>>50170547
>>50180866
WHAT
How was that guy allowed on a college campus?

>>50178913
>>50170794
This, I'm on Ch 7 and its hilarious. Thanks for posting anon.

>>50175446
>>50175511
Akshually, vivos is an adjective meaning "alive" or "healthy" - he was probably going for something super edgy like "Healthy Death". Still doesn't work, though; if he wanted it to actually be written correctly it would've been "mortis vivum" - os is the 2nd masculine plural accusative.

>>50179900
>>50179886
>Mental image of Pat climbing the mountain of her breasts as she smashes through the Canadian wilderness

File: n9neyoZFcQ1s4bru2.png (139KB, 345x258px) Image search: [Google]

139KB, 345x258px

>>50179723
>using the terms "alpha" and "beta" unironicaly

>>50175589
Pat is a total sweetie and caring boyfriend once you get close to him, past all the countless neurosis.

Like there's this little story, Paige has health issues she has to contend with, and one point they are messaging each other when she's at the house and he's out, and at one point she's all like OMG PAT HURRY BACK.
So Pat freaks out and RUSHES back and bursts back into the apartment, but it had just been about some show or special they watch that was airing right then and she had no idea he had taken it as an actual emergency, he was all pouty for hours after that.

And there was this other time where Paige wasn't well and was stuck in bed, Pat was supposed to go record something with the guys but he instead stayed and tended to her.
She was saying she was fine and he should just head out and meet the others for the channel business to which he calls her an idiot and keeps looking after her.

The fact Pat and Paige constantly talk such hardcore smack to each other is just them arguing like an old married couple, its sweet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_04xkzmmn2Y

>>50180958
>Thinkin Lincoln reaction image
What the fuck man? I just got through rereading the archive a couple of days ago. Makes me super bummed that he stopped making them.

>>50179723
>>50179886
>>50182090
>have never seen paige before
>didn't think pat was too out of his game
>mfw
WHAT THE FUCK
how on earth did pat ever get with her? he's a tiny bald buttmad man who does nothing but cheat at videogames!

>>50182208
He's a funny guy that makes her laugh and they share alot of interests, also he may or may not have a giant penis

>>50172970
I remember that Jack Nicholson movie too

>>50174815
What?

>>50174386
>pat's gf is better at bb than woolie
truly the LP we need

>>50182599
It is pretty bad how Woolie backs down and hesitates against everything, sometimes you need to just GO FOR IT.

>>50181428
Banana boobs are beautiful and natural, shut up

File: They Come.webm (215KB, 854x480px) Image search: [Google]

215KB, 854x480px

>>50170898
>tfw no religious extremist to guide you to true faith
I feel lost.

>>50179900
>>50182090
You just know she always goes on top, him just laying there squashed under her thiccness

>>50182045

Mortis would not be "subtle" enough.

I like these threads. Sometimes I think I'm being a total sperg and no one likes me and then I come in here and see the what true spergs act like.

>>50182649
Except they are called MELONS, not BANANAS, perhaps you like such examples because they subconsciously remind you of DICKS

File: two_best_friends_paige.jpg (241KB, 1242x1228px) Image search: [Google]

241KB, 1242x1228px

>>50182208

I wish we knew their origin story

>>50179969

I have only gotten regular chubby-to-fat nerds with ponytails and metal shirts. Great part is, they are older than 30, so they have cash to bring snacks for everyone.

>>50182649

Went to a school with a schizophrenic girl with tits like those. We used to fuck for a month, then she quit uni because her schizo meds were messing with her memory, so it was super hard for her to learn. Haven't seen her since, has deleted all of her social media, probably has suicided.

>>50183993
I prefer the mystery.

>>50168820
A guy who wanted to fight everyone and everything irl. Dont think he even enjoyed tabletops and just wanted to be close to people to find something he could be upsett about.

German of course.

>>50174987
>huge ego
>sleeps about
>huge metabolism
>hoard
Was this man perhaps a dragon in human form?

>>50184415
That would imply competence, ability to defend the said hoard and not being a dumbshit who stores cakes in a closet. He's more akin to a troll that finds sugar to be a drug akin to meth.

File: 135468323457.png (167KB, 393x349px) Image search: [Google]

167KB, 393x349px

>>50181470
Sure it does

>>50171738
>/pol/
>actually acting like that
>actually running out of logical arguments

You clearly haven't browsed there for longer than a half hour.

>>50184610
Oh puhlease, half the posters don't even start with logical arguments.

>>50184647
shut your cuckhole nigger

>>50183993
>>50184248
She used to stalk him, he noticed and invited her to grab a coffee.

File: 5Q57DlH.jpg (614KB, 3208x1753px) Image search: [Google]

614KB, 3208x1753px

>>50184664
>tfw you will never be stalked by a qt redheaded amazon tiddymonster

>>50168820
Met a guy that tried to play drow jesus, he spent his starting gold on a horse just so he could carry 1000ft of rope

File: 1477431539613.png (331KB, 600x431px) Image search: [Google]

331KB, 600x431px

>>50168820
Honestly I've had it pretty easy in comparison to some of the stories here. I've played D&D with a lot of edgy memes and special snowflakes over the years and I've only run into a handful of unique individuals that got to me. One was a girl that was obsessed with the idea that everyone at the table was trying to fuck her, so she'd flirt with other players to try to get her bf's attention on her instead of the game or just to be a loot hoarder. She refused to play any race out of the book and insisted that I roll stats for "better races" that only she could use or she would demand to leave and wouldn't let her bf come to game night. She constantly fudged rolls even after being called out on it and I'm pretty sure she doesn't actually know how to play. But damnit if her bf wasnt one of the best roleplayers I've ever played with, and one of my best friends.

>>50182660
what the fuck

>>50184647
I can't blame you for thinking that if you've been there in the past six months. This election was a circus. The original filename was >implying that /pol/ is one person. But even then, you're not entirely wrong. Old /pol/ was miles better than it is now. Christ, I hope it goes back to the way it was, fucking redditor scum shitting up the place

>>50185519
Expansion of media and circuits has allowed the worst circle jerkers to form up together and drown out dissenters. This has happened everywhere.

Worse, we can't go back anon.

>>50182208
He sold his legs to satan

>>50185188
Why didn't you save him anon?

>>50168820
>Girl: Waaah you have too much combat it's booooring
>Girl Waaah you have too much roleplay its boooooring
>Girl: Waaah its not EXACTLY how I want
>Girl: Waaaaaaaaaah wahhhawhhhwahahhawaHWAHWHAWAHWAWHAHAHHHAAAAA
>GM: Perhaps you want the be GM instead...?
>Girl: No you are really great anon! Of course I'm not bored! ;)
I deal with mental cases and nut jobs everytiem

>>50183857
>doesn't know about breast types
>thinks they're all just round balls

Stop watching porn so much.

>>50185736
Thats not the point, banana shaped breasts are simply unattractive.

File: ver-gtun-jj1.jpg (207KB, 900x1253px) Image search: [Google]

207KB, 900x1253px

>>50185778

Everyone knows the best kind of breast is large and roundwith just enough sag to show off the heft without sacrificing their shape out of a dress.

>>50185809
>my opinion is the correct opinion
No seriously. People don't have a unified taste in humanoid milk glands

>>50185837
True, they either have my opinion, or the Wrong opinion.

>>50185809
But Anon, Small chests a best

File: OoD.png (378KB, 680x1012px) Image search: [Google]

378KB, 680x1012px

>>50185890

>>50182157
Yea Pat & Paige are legitimately in love. Good for them.

>>50182157
I bet this>>50176901 guy is like that too but because he isn't 6'7 with a square jaw he thinks he's repulsive.

fa/tg/uys need to work on getting rid of their self-loathing

>>50170898
Girl sounds like fuuuun.

File: auunp3.jpg (58KB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 640x360px

>>50170547
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG

Are you me?

>Going around campus trying to find members for my boffer/LARPing club
>Find a handful of nerds geeking out in the library
>Ask them if they want to hit each other with foam swords
>They all agree excitedly
>Some guy I hadn't noticed hiding in the corner of the library suddenly speaks up
>"I think I would be a good president for your club :^)"
>He was short, around 5'5", probably around 300 pounds, and he had hippy length hair with black gunk (dried soda?) all over his hands
>I try to be pretty inclusive, so I tell him I'd love for him to come on down, but I'm already president
>He gets offended for some reason
>He tells me about all the combat experience he's had in kendo and how his school of kendo could whoop my boffer "schools" ass
>I tell him we're not a "school" for anything, and that we just hit each other with foam swords for fun
>He "challenges my worth" in a duel anyway
>Turn him down
>He does this whole Sasuke grin while looking at my new recruits from the side and says something like "Hmmm. Looks like your president just can't cut it with me, can he?"
>They all just look at each other and pity his social maladaption
>"Very well, if you will not meet me on the battlefield, you will meet me on the streets. 5 o'clock, Luther Hall. Be there."
>He gets up, flicks his fingers at me likes he's trying to flick water off his fingers, and walks out of the library
>Completely forget about it until next week when we're in the campus rec center, beating each other up with swords and shit, when out of nowhere, some big, heavy kendo stick whacks me right on the face and sends my glasses flying
>It hurt pretty bad
>I grab my glasses and look around
>It's fucking That Guy
>He's smirking, posing like an edgy anime character, kendo sword in hand
>Mfw I get pissed because I thought he broke my glasses and now my ears are ringing (the lense fell out, and I later found out I bit off a small part of my inner cheek)

pt 1

File: 1443367371123.jpg (69KB, 306x331px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 306x331px

>>50186384
>The entire room is silent and you can visibly see I'm very pissed and that he's obviously crossed the line
>He doesn't pick up on this
>"I told you I was a better swordsman than you. I hereby declare myself president of your bokken club and I hereby banish you (he jabs his kendo stick in my solar plexus) to the nether realms"
>I'm paraphrasing, but it sounded just as faggy, if not worse
>I would've let the whack to the face slide, because I like to believe I'm an honest man; but his lack of awareness of how pissed I was, and that jab to the solar plexus really fucking hurt (it hurt worse than the whack to the face), so I walked up to him and threw his dumb kendo stick to the ground
>I grew up in Hawaii, so when I tend to get angry, I unintentionally break out into my local "pidgin" dialect, which, if you're unfamiliar with, sounds slightly like a mix of afro-carribean and broken japanglish
>I went fucking hammer on his DYEL ass
>"Brah, you think you can kick my fucking ass? You like go then? Brah, I knock you the fuck out, send you to the fucking hospital, make you eat all kine shit. Go! Square the fuck up, cuz. Prove to me you're one hot shit."
>He suddenly goes from cocky Sasuke guy to timid beta-max
>"S-sorry, man. Chill out, I was just having fun."
>By now a crowd is gathering around the rec room because of all the commotion and people are starting to film shit, which calms me down because fighting is an automatic suspension
>I calm down and give him back his kendo stick and tell him to beat it
>Taking this as some sort of victory over me, he looks over his shoulder and says, in what I can only imagine as some sort of attempt to save face, "I would have eaten your fucking ass, dude. You have no fucking idea."
>I think about what he said to me for the next 3 hours
>The absurdity of it just clicked in my head this morning and I couldn't stop laughing during work
>Gosh darn, man
>Tfw seeing your post triggered me so hard it made me write a 20 page blog

File: 1301512168145.png (531KB, 1047x907px) Image search: [Google]

531KB, 1047x907px

>>50180866
>How did he think females would be even mildly interested in a person caked with fucking shit?
>I do not have the knowledge or the desire to try and put myself into the shoes of a person like that. I don't really know what he was thinking, and I certainly don't know why.

>>50186533
>"I would have eaten your fucking ass, dude. You have no fucking idea."
holy shit that's fucking hilarious

File: 1426651691661.gif (1MB, 288x198px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 288x198px

>>50186533
>I slapped your glasses off when you were off your guard, so I declare myself head of your bokken club
How up your own ass can you get?
Holy shit, college students are retards, and I am one.

>>50186533
>i would have eaten your ass
but anon that's g-gay

>>50172092
Back of a murdervan.

>>50186601

>That pic

You owe me some sides, anon. Got pics for the other gods?

File: IMG_0331.jpg (37KB, 242x410px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 242x410px

>knowing your friend's/player's fetishes

The fuck? I barely know who my friends voted for let alone their sexual interests. I've known my best friend since middle school and never have we discussed fetishes, especially depraved shit like rape and gore

>>50186533

Should have beaten his ass. Fuck the suspension. You earned a D- as a man.

>>50187227

I never discussed heavy shit with my best friends, but I'm pretty sure I know their sexual preferences alongside political agenda

>>50187261
No, this is even better. He stared the armed autismal swordsperg down and got an offer to get his ass eaten.

File: 1478589761600.jpg (83KB, 720x504px) Image search: [Google]

83KB, 720x504px

>>50168820
A guy at our shop.
>plays only the most cookie cutter tourney lists in casual games
>get throws a hissy fit when no one plays him
>if you do play him expect him to gloat while his list mops the floor with yours
>constantly mocked me for playing a more fluff based guard army because 'I wasn't using the full potential of the army
>beat him in a tournament once with a min-max list I brewed up and he tossed one of my hydras across the room

I ended up befriending him just out of pity, and it was a good challenge playing a cookie cutter list with a normal list.
And worst of all, he was actually a nice guy, just raised very rich with basically no social interaction.

I know it's kinda vanilla but I've played games with guys who have that kind of "cult of personality" thing going on. Like they GM and all their beta players are kind of worship them?

I did one session of 3.5 with them. Guy didn't really know the rules super well. Everything we did felt like it had OOC social consequences. Like, I was a cleric, and they'd look at me like "You... don't heal me?" (with emphasis on "you", like they were talking to me.) Mind you they didn't need healing and I was the only one able to damage the GM's PoS encounter except for the GM's HILARIOUS, so no Johnny Depp, pirate GMPC who has the magic of BS on his side.

Didn't do a second game.

Guy was also like a 40 something fedora running a game for a nubile 16 year old and her fat beta friend.

>>50187374
Fuck that noise. If you haven't taken a fair beating or two by the time you've become a man, then you need to get a heavy beating if you're ever going to be anything other than an obnoxious cunt, and that fatass sounds like he'd need to have his skull cracked before he learned his place.

>>50185919
>implying I mean DFC
>implying I'm not talking about C or B cups on of-age women

>>50179822
>Beta manlet detected

>>50170235
>SCREAMLORDS ATTACK CASTLE SUPERBEAST

>>50187261
The suspension isn't worth it, but at the very least, he could've smashed asseater's kendo stick.

File: 1476982924209.png (23KB, 212x172px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 212x172px

>>50186601
This makes me super fucking mad. I lived with a mate who was about 6'5", 450 pounds, massive asshole, so anti-weeaboo he threw a party when the tsunami hit japan, rarely bathed.

And he lands himself the hottest girl I've ever seen, and she cleans for him, feeds him, provides for him.

I just do not get it.

>>50187791
Its her fetish

>>50187227
You have to pay attention to when they perk up to stuff in movies or media, what they play in their games, what they avoid and what they go for. It's a lot of guesswork, but usually you can piece a vague idea together.

>>50187791
Statistical outliers.

>>50187903
I don't know. Most of my mates are fucked in the head enough to openly discuss their depraved shit, and argue about how their depraved shit is better than the others depraved shit.

File: tmp_2636-41Y1BWBkecL._SY355_596989986.jpg (22KB, 355x355px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 355x355px

>>50186384
I did kendo for a few years.

You can't compare a shinai to a foam larp sword.
Getting hit with a shinai in full bogu (armor) can hurt.
I would never whack someone with a shinai if they were not wearing bogu and/ or unaware.

I hope you shoved that shinai up his ass.

>>50187931
That also works.

>>50187791
Daddy issues, her dad was probably a slob so now slobs make her girlhood tremble

>>50187261
He got rid of him.
That's good enough.
Being violent when it isn't necessary isn't manly.

>>50174815
Brennan always knew that Woolie was black, it was Xavier Woods that found out on the podcast

>>50187791
My guess is she thinks she can "fix" him by caring for him and loving him.

That or yeah. Could be a weird fetish thing, who knows.

File: barks internally.jpg (73KB, 524x468px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 524x468px

>>50187531
I know this feel, anon.

>Be around 14-15 years old
>Find out about Freeform Roleplaying
>Find an old AOL server hosting a freeform fantasy game (lol)
>The "host" is a 40 year old man with some sort of anime avatar, and it's blatantly obvious he's been hosting this server since 1945 or some shit
>All the other members are 12 to 15 years old, and a good quarter of them are impressionable, preteen girls
>They all want to be his chief groupie
>During one of my battles with his favorite groupie, my character (pretty much Not!HanSolo) BTFO's her character because "lasers>turning into a kawaii neko-chan"
>She explains that lasers have no effect on her because lasers are light, and her character is inherently good, and since my character does bad things, her inner light encapsulates my laser and damages the shadows within my soul or something
>Host ends up whiteknighting her with his super speeshul karakter that's pretty much Not!God
>I call him a loser
>He tells me I can't play in his chatroom anymore, unless I pretend to be a girl character and cyber him
>Tell him that's weird, and subsequently, he's weird
>All the preteen girls start ganging up on me, telling me the host is a perfect paragon of unshakeable faith, and that I'm just a weird loner looking for trouble
>I tell them I'm making my own chat
>They all follow me into my chatroom to spam me out of existence
>I make ANOTHER chat
>They follow me to that one too and B me TFO with endless spam
>Eventually, they run me out of that AOL server all together

Fucking hell, man. Why are preteen girls so impressionable like that? I'm not gonna lie. I was mad jelly.

>>50170877
>D&D beat-em-up
Chronicles of Mystara, that game kicks ass.

>>50170235
Plagues magical realm is a very rude thing to call horse porn dot com.

>>50188145
>thinking that those were "girls."

>>50188221
...Holy shit. I can't believe this hasn't ever occurred to me until now.

>>50176171
And it probably made her love him even more that he continued to hold that opinion even when literally the rest of the room is saying "no Pat you're dumb for feeling guilty for doing something you think is bad". Stuck to his fucking principles like a man.

>>50184664
>superhot girl gets repulsive sempai to notice her
HOW

>>50182610
Woolie's backdown game is 2strong

>>50172188
Explain

>>50182157
Their banter is honestly pretty adorable.

>>50189642
Hang on to that feeling while you can, because once he actually gets into office he's going to discover that he can't actually Make America Great Again and it is going to break him.

Even if he has all the right ideas on how to do it, the things he'd need to do run against GOP policy, and I rather doubt they'd go for it just because the guy in the big chair is on their team.

>>50189752
Oh, don't be such a negative nancy. I'm sure things'll be fine.

>>50189752
>he'll never win the primary
>they'll steal it at the convention
>He can't win the electoral college

Naysayers are 0-3 m88 I'm drinking the Koolaid all in

Need something to wash down all the salt

>>50189642
same friend
it's been so glorious

File: The-Last-Unconfirmed-Art-Hinata-3.jpg (116KB, 453x900px) Image search: [Google]

116KB, 453x900px

>>50190129
It's funny how the last saltstorm of that magnitude was the ending of Naruto

>>50189824

I never said that things would explode, just that the realities of being president are gonna ruin Trump in ways his ego could never have prepared him for.

>>50190196

I was just thinking that, that the joy of shipping isn't your ship winning, but other ships losing. Korrasami as well, only less so, and I don't watch either of them. This video just captures everything perfectly as well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fpxoVu2pqg

>>50188917
Matt's wife is pregnant and intends to keep it, his idyllic manchild life is about to come crashing down.
Woolie is plagued by a myriad of health issues, his dream of being a games developer is farther than ever.
Liam is watching his youth and his good looks slip away, in the middle of a big existential crisis.
Pat wants to be a toilet.

>>50182196
Same

File: oHdJ7uG.jpg (37KB, 720x312px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 720x312px

>>50182157
Turns out Pat is a really cool guy

>>50190519
>Liam is watching his youth and his good looks slip away
It wouldn't be a problem if he kept that beard of his shaved, good lord

>>50190519
>Pat wants to be a toilet.
wouldn't it only be his Darkest Timeline if he doesn't succeed, then?

>>50176172
>He's a fat bald angry short little man that plays videogames for a living and on his spare time, with nothing else going on for him. She's so out of his league and so into him that it's nonsensical.

IIRC Pat studied psychology in university, he's outgoing, very considerate of other people's feelings (someone mentioned the Mighty No.9 reimbursing), and he's mature enough to laugh at himself. So he's pretty much got cult leader level charisma and understanding of people's minds going for him.

In my opinion Pat has a lot of ideal husbando qualities.

>>50168820
My current GM

>>50190969
Details son.

>>50189752
He was already looking ashen-faced just from the CIA briefing. Which is normal for new presidents, but still.

>>50170235
>Horrors
>Not wonders.

Plague-senpai's tastes are top tier chum.

>>50170235
>monk/cleric
>woolie not a wizard

>>50191560
I love them, they're perfect
Paige breaking into tears after beating Gascoigne made me so happy that I fucking clapped like a retard watching a movie.

Of course, Pat would be the one to correct his Darkest Timeline by finding and waifuing his R63 twin's Best Timeline. It's the ultimate cheat.

>>50191206

Plague is not a cenobite!

>>50187668
C cups are small? Wow.

B cups though, very good taste.

>>50190519
>Woolie is plagued by a myriad of health issues, his dream of being a games developer is farther than ever.

Is this why his coughs are always phlegmy?

File: leafyishere.png (2MB, 2560x1440px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2560x1440px

Apology in advance for the terrible greentexting

>2008
>in an attempt to bond with my brother in law he invites me to play d&d at the LGS
>never played d&d before but was always interested in doing it
>meet his group and it looks like your typical setup of people
>one guy is exceptionally fat, gray hair, small glasses, flannel shirt with shorts
>present my character sheet to dm and get started
>exceptionally fat guy is playing a drow assassin that is totally not drizzt
>session is going well
>phone starts ringing and the fat guy answers it, answering in a very miltaristic way as "2nd sergeant anon"
>after the phone call has ended one of the other players asks which branch he belongs to
>he tells us he's in the army and is in rangers(this guy couldn't have been much older than maybe 25)
>proceeds to tell us that he took the ASVAB AFQT and passed with a score of 100
>later on after the session ends and the guy who inquired about the fat guy tells everyone its impossible to score that
>the fat guy gets all red in the face and raises his arms crossed his back and a horrendous stench just hits us
>this guy smells as if he hasn't bathed in a week
>he tells the other guy he is wrong and isn't considered military material and would see that is never able to enlist and he has to go back to base for training tomorrow
>"the nearby base is Air Force and Marines, not Army" I point out.
>gets red in the face again and leaves never to he seen again

Me and my brother in law did get a kick out of him though, even game him a legendary nickname.

>>50191939
Getting a 100 on the ASVAB is quite possible if you just meant the GT score. It is also average, which just adds to the hilarity of this dude bragging about it.

>>50170547
>At the end of that game, I said to my friends I hoped he had died that week, so I didn't have to deal with him again. Later found out he had a heart attack a few days later and died.

At first I was going to say "proof that this story is fake", but then I remember hearing a similar story about a mugger who died of a heart attack immediately after one of his victims told him to drop dead.

File: 1240938225168.jpg (74KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

74KB, 600x600px

>>50187791
>He's 6'5"
There's your answer.

I've seen guys who aren't really noteworthy in any respect, except that they're above the 6' mark, and girls immediately get frothy around them, unless there's a slightly less mundane or slightly taller guy in the vicinity.

>>50186968
Are you kidding? It's drawfagottry about a real story.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1371640/Morbidly-obese-man-fused-chair-sat-years-dies-hospital.html

>>50192442
>The unnamed man had been found unconscious on Sunday by his girlfriend
This gives me hope

>>50192430
I am 6'2 and no female has ever willingly approached me. I'm not fat, and not that ugly (or smelly)

>>501(same person) I am also a piece of shit and find almost everyone's troubles a joke.

>>50183798
It soothes the soul, anon.

Reading these threads reminds me that, no matter what I think of myself, I will never be a son of Nurgle that drags some poor person down with them.

>>50179723
Nah, more convenient that anything. Now you can easily 69 without neck cramps because one of you has to angle your spine/head.

>>50187261
>Walking away from conflict despite all the reasons in the world to beat this guys ass
I dunno man, sounds pretty righteous to me.

>>50187261
Beat his ass after school

>>50187261
>risking suspension, a mark against you because you wanted to attack a pest
That's like a write up on your job performance because some guy bumped into you and you cussed him out.
Why bother, when it's unlikely the slob's going nowhere fast?

>>50192840
Being a man means never letting anything go ever

>>50192888
are you retarded or just 12?

>>50192908
Or sarcastic over the internet...

File: 1476918224350.jpg (65KB, 411x412px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 411x412px

>>50187227
>Don't know sexual interactions of your
You lucky fucking bastard, my best friend forces knowledge of his weird masochism, petplay, and choking fetishes down my fucking throat through awkward conversations
Or how your other best friend tried to make a sex town out of a power ranger's fist to shove into his dick
Or how you're other other best friend can't love people because he has emotional issues with his father
Or the furfag you became friends on Facebook with before furrmation, and now posts shitty furry porn that is poorly censored so dick everywhere
Fucking rich liberal white people

>>50187227
I envy you, anon.

I was the unofficial councilor to nearly a dozen couples in my highschool/Freshman-years in college.

Highschool really is just a prettier version of hell.

>>50192677
Please Pics next to measuring tape, We can help you discover your flaws anon And you find solutions

>>50188791
>superhot girl
that >>50183993 is a butterface anon

Straight-up Stalin supporting communist who goes on demonstrations regularly and breaks up nazi marches with his comrades. Huge bro, good player and good roleplayer.

The dude that single-handedley brought LARP to my country. Huge dickwad of a player though, a that guy to outrank all that guy's. His LARPs are awesome though.

The Gary Gygax of my country. Pretty chill dude, didn't like my games.

An IRL dwarf, beard and all. Was a huge munchkin & crybaby in game, has issues, proud as fuck of being compared to fantasy dwarves.

A bulky lesbian transitioning into a man that has been training with katana swords since she was 6. Real fucking weeaboo, and had a hardon for Nippon. Was pretty chill at first and we used to drink beer and make fun of SJWs all night and talk shit but then she became more and more infatuated with Japan and I kept making fun of her for it and then she flaked off.

Met my wife, to me she is the most unique individual in my life.

>>50190679
Pat is best husbando

A 'that guy.' Met him online in a roll20 game some guy was hosting with three other random that were all pretty cool. The dm was perfectly competent, but this tard did his very best to shit up the place with his edginess. His character was basically fucking Sasuke, so I created a perfect foil. A barbarian with insane INT, but I role played him having a severe speech impediment that only allowed him to say two or three one syllable words as a complete statement.

>"darksable looks off in the distance, muttering that he would not allow innocents harmed this time, not again by his hand... "

>"Graknak stomps up behind him and slaps him across the back of the head and shouts 'NO DUM TALK' into his ear"

>this repeats for literally everything
>becomes running joke for party to make fun of him and pull pranks at his expense
>npcs treat him like a literal child
>dM eventually kicks the edgy kid out for being too much of a faggot

Good times.

>>50179723
I don't really like this meme
but fucking thicc

>>50185519
It's mostly stormfront now
And Stormfront is really fucking retarded

>>50186138
I assure you my selfloathing is well earned, I may have the occasional funny or romantic moment but the fact of the matter is my girlfriend is a great girl with shit taste in men and she could do so much better than me, I dread the day she realizes.

>>50191796
C is just perfect, D and above is bloated veiny and gross, B and bellow shouldn't even be called breasts in the first place.

>>50187791
This is sounding like the very specific viewpoint of a jealous suitor. How long have you had feelings for her anon?

>>50179807
>>50187689
real alpha don't scream about how alpha they are all the time

>>50192840
>Why bother, when it's unlikely the slob's going nowhere fast?

$20 says he's a number-cruncher in some STEM job using his large income to commission furry porn and fund a vapid, self-destructive existence of seclusion.

>>50194284
>Not liking short girls with D+ tits

>>50191796
>>50194284

The best kind of breast is a shapely one attached to the woman you love.

That said, I'm a fan of Bs and D+.

>>50168932
What's tbpf?

>>50193083
Cute!

>>50194738
Two best friends play.

A mostly vidya youtube channel with a bunch of nerds.

It seems their nerddom aligns with /tg/ tho.

>>50194936
>It seems their nerddom aligns with /tg/ tho.

It's also because any attempt to discuss them on /v/ ends in anal rage.

>>50194989
There's a thread on /co/ right now using fanart of Paige and Pat as the OP that has gotten pretty spergish. Alotta pissing and moaning from the /co/mrades.

>>50185248
I don't know the source, but I would wager it's from some kind of horror movie. The movement was too fast for regular real life footage.

File: feels bad.png (5KB, 645x773px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 645x773px

>>50194405
>self-destructive existence of seclusion

That moments when you realize you are the that guy.

>>50190956
>Pat has a lot of ideal husbando qualities
Like what for example?

>>50187227
>not having friends you're close enough to that you can discuss your fetishes with them

What a sad life you live.

>>50196401
Anon stated them in the same post you are quoting, are you blind?

>>50194421
This anon's got it right

A cup pleb reporting, I've prepared my anus for the brays of "pedo"

>>50191623
Where can I find her play that?

>>50196791
peachsaliva on twitch
Should be still archived

>>50196193

You gotta climb out of that rut, anon. It starts with the big things more than the little.

>>50196574

This, everyone has fetishes and learning your friend has one should be little more than the source of a couple jokes.

>>50196701
Go back to /a/ faggot

File: CskavlQW8AAvwZx.png (405KB, 1070x1000px) Image search: [Google]

405KB, 1070x1000px

>>50196822
Thanks senpai.

>>50196842
Thanks. You too, anon, you too.

>>50193031
Do it anon, /tg/'s romantic track record is actually pretty solid

>>50192840
>pest
>bumped into you
>guy hits him in the head, unprovoked, with a baseball bat
Come on son

>>50192442
>Fused with his chair

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug

File: 1273796101451.jpg (72KB, 500x661px) Image search: [Google]

72KB, 500x661px

>>50179723
I'm 5'4-5
My girlfriend is 5'10

Where is your god now? She's a turbo normie.

Where is your maker now? Call down his wrath upon me, you can not, for he does not exist.

>>50170235
So true it hurts. Although I would love a D&D podcast with Plague as the DM. As long as Matt isn't there and the others keep Pat's autism in check.

>>50179723
Wow. Nothing in the foreground is real. Fake hair, fake face, fake tits, & who the fuck wears a periwinkle knit sweater with an exposed midriff & hot pink banded yoga pants?

>>50169164
I actually read this

kinda fucked up the chick actually dies.

>>50189752
When was America great lol? Hard mode: it has to be a time period that is great if you are NOT a white guy.

>>50170753
I know of a different Trout, but he's mostly a furry and a bully.

>>50191939
I got a 130 on the ASVAB, GT score, it's quite possible. Dude was still full of shit tho

>>50191324
>>50170235
No, Woolie would be the elf. Elves are assholes that hate humans and we all know Woolie would sell us all out for magic.

>Fighter
Liam

>Cleric
Matt

>Barbarian
Pat

>Elf
Woolie

>>50200384
Never been on a college campus, have you?

>>50172188
>How did it come to this.
Paige ate just the ham out of the sandwich. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1my1lri6Kkc

>>50170222
i can get why people don't like matt since i used to be friends with someone like him but pat generally doesn't know what he's talking about 98% of the time

>>50199143
post a pic, I bet you guys look adorable

>>50201163
Passing women's suffrage
Emancipation proclamation
Civil Rights Act

I take MAGA differently than intended though

File: image.jpg (155KB, 742x540px) Image search: [Google]

155KB, 742x540px

Guy with mental disabilities that always brought cookies his grandmother made to game night. His mom was some junkie that left him with his grandparents at around 3 months old or something so they raised him. He really likes to cook and always brings delicious stuff to game night.

>>50203941
Anon he said weird not cool.

File: sadmess.jpg (99KB, 530x530px) Image search: [Google]

99KB, 530x530px

>>50196869
>You'll never fuck patricia while whispering in her ear every instance of dark souls lore she ever got wrong
Hold me, I can't stand the feels.

>>50187947
What are you, a fuckin pussy?
When me and my bro were around 15/17 respectively we used to go out in the back yard and beat the shit out of each other with some of those that we bought for keks

Shit isn't really that painful even when you use go sperg and use enough force to break them
Which we did

>>50170794
rip Geppetto aka best gril

>>50203941
Fuck the cargo bays.

>>50203941
I know what you mean, I am always creeped out my retarded people and try my best to avoid going near them

>>50201999
They're a cute couple.

>>50201180
AFQT's a different, comparative score comparing you to a big sample group. Scoring 100 would mean he's without exception the best if they even measured it in a way which allowed that result--I'm pretty sure it actually caps out at 99th percentile.

Unless he meant the point total that gets compared was 100, but that's low enough (like "dumber than 99%" low) that he'd be barred from joining any military branch.

File: 1472843287896.gif (557KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

557KB, 400x400px

>/tg/, of all people, gushing over e-celebs like a bunch of 11 year old

Alas, Babylon...

>>50205382
It's gone downhill.

I mean, they actually chased off content creators.

They literally made roleplayers take their games somewhere else.

File: CskavlQWAAEjtWY.png (402KB, 1070x1000px) Image search: [Google]

402KB, 1070x1000px

>>50204345
I'll hold something of yours, alright.

>>50205386
Arguing over which of the three options a QM gave you is the least shit is not roleplaying.

>>50194421
Wise anon is wise

>>50205414
Post Liam

>>50201180
I thought the ASVAB was rated in terms of percentiles. I took it in 2008 and scored in the 96th percentile. I dont remember what the GT score was.

Every other poolee I met that day got lower, including one dude in the 36 range

My issue wasn't so much with a player I had as much as someone we always see at our LGS every fucking week.

The FLGS hosts a Super Smash Brothers tournament every week to try to get some of the local /v/irgins out of their houses for occasions other than conventions and in the hopes that they might get curious by the presence of card games and RPGS and try something that involves actually talking to people. Mostly they just sink a fuckton of money into snacks, because those bastards can eat and have a ton of disposable income from the looks of things.

Every time we're there, without fail we see Asscrack. A tall, dumpy Hodor-alike with an unkempt woman's bob as a haircut who always wears rumpled slacks and a ChrisChan-esque polo shirt and has enough ass cleavage enough to lose a decently sized smartphone without fail. He always wore a belt but this was just a consistent issue, every day, without fail. His car was COVERED in Bernie Sanders stickers and smelled of animal shit. If there weren't so many /k/omrades in my RPG group I'd seriously worry for our safety the next time someone tells him to pull up his fucking pants.

>>50175508
I actually kind of like this.
It's easily fixed if you just make picking up his sword an action, so in a sense he'd be trading his attack next turn for two attacks now and exposing his sword to theft or calamity.