My GM put character named Reliable Patches in our game. He had

>>50137348
Be wary of Merchant.

>>50137348
Seems like a shitty way to catch people metagaming.

>>50137357
Bad fall ahead

>>50137384
I'm doing this entirely in character. I internally screamed when Patches asked after noticing my gear.

"You a cleric or somethin'?"

I answered yes. I am sooooo going to die.

Nothing you really can do except walk right into a shitty fucking trap, be it a pitfall or >>50137384

Prepare for the absolute worst when you go into that crypt

>>50137425
Hopefully, he'll just screw with us once push me into a pit with a monster and repent after I gut it and offer us slightly more treasure and become a merchant of some kind.

An old DM of mine had us take a job from a gnome named Patches.

When we came back alive, Patches turned on us. Of course.

"I draw my greatsword and begin to rage."

"Patches draws his crossbow and... CRITICAL HIT! 23 damage! Right in the throat!"

"I still have 2 hit points."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I go silent and my face contorts into a mask of wrath. I back the little shit into a corner, put a hand over his mouth, and slowly push my sword through his gut."

"Patches is dead, I'll just give you that."

>>50139100
There's nothing quite as shit-your-pants inducing from an enemy perspective, or as badass from a player perspective, as taking some horrific hit and just coming back with rage.

>>50137348
Have fun dismembering the little cunt after the inevitable backstabbing.

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>>50139100
A gnome? Really?

>>50140012
... I'm sorta conflicted actually, I'd love to kick his ass but at the same time he could be a really kickass merchant who sells some really rad shit.

>>50139100
>"CRITICAL HIT! 23 damage! Right in the throat!"
>"I still have 2 hit points."
>"Oh."
These few lines encompass the essence of D&D better than any elaborate description could.