ITT we trigger DMs

I know you said "no homebrew races," but I found this really cool one online and it seems pretty balanced.

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Yep.

>>50056716
Nah it's a good design for a cheese knife.

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>>50056716
*7th session in*

I attack the knight.
Okay what do I roll?

C'mon DM, my rogue should be able to use a katana as a finesse weapon! It's basically the most elegant sword ever invented!

It's ok, my drink doesn't need a coaster.

If I attack him while he's talking, do I get a surprise round?

*hits king with wet paper towel* apples! xD

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>>50056716

I know it's a Medieval Fantasy setting, but can I play a Samurai from across the sea that was shipwrecked and met up with the party?

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>>50056776
>I know it's an Oriental Fantasy setting, but can I play a Conquistador from across the sea that was shipwrecked and met up with the party?

>>50056723
Fucking this, I fucking hate this. Don't play some shit snowflake that will outclass all the official material, just play something out of the core book or supplemental shit, nothing more.
The same thing can be applied to classes and spell too, and I fucking hate it. And then there are the fucks who have the audacity to ask why, and I have to waste 50 fucking minutes before the game explaining to everyone why homebrew shit on the internet is shit, and its like the 5th time I've had to tell them. And most of the players are my freinds so I am ok with literally screaming my ass off, because we'll just laugh it off later, but when the fucks bring their fraternity "Brothers" or their fucking GF's I have to hold back, and those fucks always want to front super hard so they go online and look up stupid shit, but when I send them the PDFs of the rulebook and supplemental books, they refuse to download it because "It might have a virus".
Motherfucker, I've checked, stop being such a stupid shit and fucking look at the right material instead of some fuck garbage you found on leddit because you want to try desperately impress everyone at the table with how "In the know" you are. I wish I could y'ell at you, but your literally a stranger in my house who is fucking my friend, or in a weird school related cult with them, so I have to be calm and let you waste everyone's fucking time!

>>50056813
Only if you are, in fact, John Cleese.

>>50056851
>Thread successful

>Shit, where are my dice? Can I borrow yours?
>I don't have a pencil.
>What's my attack modifier again? I forgot.

>>50056922
I mean, from a month or two break from playing the game this sounds understandable, but if it happens \every week then its kind of dickish

>I hold hands with the lord's wife

>>50056745
>>50056949
To be honest, if a player doesn't know where to find his attack modifier after 2 sessions I get pretty fucking triggered.

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>>50056716
I just realized that Cloud was carrying around a giant eel knife the entire time.

>Is it the d20?

>Do I add anything to that?

Everything is the d20.

There is no unmodified d20 roll ever.

>I roll to seduce!

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>>50056716
>ITT we trigger DMs

Doesn't show up, isn't sorry and gives no explanation next time you see them.

Drops off the face of the earth and you never see or hear from them again

>>50057087


Especially after they talk about how much they also hate it when people do that and would totally never do that to a group

>>50056723
Just make it dndwiki to rub it in.

>>50056716

No my character is not going to fuck your DMPC, she's creepy.

>>50057150
I thought that was implied desu

>>50056776
I would not be averse to this.

>>50056716

Look I know you want me to specialize but my character concept does 't support the kind of build you are suggesting.

>>50056716
No.
>>50056723
I'll take a look, but if I say no, it's final.
>>50056745
I've played with completely new players, so I can poker face this one out.
>>50056746
>Not a cavalry sword
lol
>>50056760
Depends on the table. It might not.
>>50056762
Are you sure you want to do that?
>>50056766
This is the first item in the thread that truly triggered me. Kudos.

>>50056716

*doesn't take their meds on game day because "it's the only day I can be my real self".*

>>50056776
>>50056813
I wish any of my players were inventive enough to come up with a shipwrecked foreigner far from home instead of "vaguely european everyman who decided to swing a sword one day".

>>50056716

My character leaves town.
I'll rejoin as soon as I've rolled up a new one, go on without me.

>>50057297
I, personally, have to take meds for anxiety.
Going off meds for gameday is idiotic at best and malicious at worst.

>Why? I'm chaotic neutral!

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>>50056745

I offer the villain a place at my side.

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>>50057401

>>50057297
This is dumb. I take meds because my real self sucks.

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>>50056716
fun, of course

>>50056723
let me check first in case its broken

>>50056745
*pic related*

>>50056746
lol, no

>>50056760
ha ha ha, no drink for you

>>50056762
no

>>50056766
pic

>>50056776
fun

>>50056745
I had this happen with a ranger in my party and she always asked what profiency did every session too. Drove me insane.

>>50057427
>Not understanding the core concept of the most basic D&D system ever
NOW I'm triggered

>>50057361
>>50057297
What kind of fucked-up meds have such a short effective period.

>>50056851
>I have to be calm and let you waste everyone's fucking time!
You can save a lot of time by not turning the sentence "My rule is no non basic races" into a 50 minute rant.

"I attack [other pc]"
"why?"
"He looted something I want"

>>50057451
The fact that you think it's a good idea to skip out on your regular medical dosage deliberately is a terrible, terrible sign for your mental health.
If it has no immediate effect, it will have a long-term one. And I assume there's at least one anxiety medication which will have an immediate effect, even if it's not noticeable except retrospectively.

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>>50056766

>>50057504
I can miss my setraline for a day if I forget (shit keeps me up at night if I take it in the pm).

>>50056766
Is it weird that the biggest question I have is where they got a paper towel from in D&D-land?

>>50056776
>>50056813
Hell yes to both.

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>>50056813
Oriental doesn't imply any specific date and therefore the conquistador fits perfectly. A samurai doesn't fit a medieval fantasy setting, if we understand that anon meant european medieval.

Now, in an early modern european fantasy setting I would have no complain for the shipwrecked samurai. In fact, I would be very happy.

>Party splits searching rooms
>Fighter finds treasure by himself
>Wizard suddenly wants to check the same room as him
>"It's gonna take you a minute, let me finish telling him what he's found"
>"It really takes me this long to go over there? I roll athletics to run over there"
>gets triggered that I won't let him instantly be there and denies he's not meta gaming to get dibs on loot
Swear to god this happened multiple times before I quit

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a player thinks the game is a competition against the GM

>>50057526
>Deliberately
This is the important part. And I shouldn't have used 'you', but we do what we do.

>>50056922
>Shit, where are my dice? Can I borrow yours?
>I don't have a pencil.

There's literally nothing wrong with this. What are you, an autist who doesn't like to share?

>>50057554
fucking meta, I swear to God

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"Here's a picture of my character!"

>>50057554
>Hand not to Player1
>Player1 writes note back
>Hand another note to player1
>Player2 "My character eyes player1's character suspiciously"
>Player3 "I stop what I was doing and return to the in with the rest of the party."

>>50057401
>I join the villain

I'll say more

>I try to join the villain
>What do you mean he doesn't want me in his team?

>>50057609
>I join the villain
>What the fuck DM, why did he kill me?

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>"I know I play the same character in every campaign and system, but it's all i know how to play, haha!"

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What do you want to do?
>Hide in the bushes, fuck the party. CN out for myself lelelel
Okay, be shitty if you want. Roll hide check
>rolls a 2, ffails check
You are not hidden.
>but I feel like as a rogue I shouldn't have to roll a check to hide
>I mean it's what I do
>having to toll every time is stupid
You are still visible
>well don't I have coverage or something? Im in the bushes FFS
You failed to hide in them
>yeah but think about it. Like are they REALLY gonna be able to see me
Mfw special pleading
Mfw rules lawyering this hard
Mfw he wasn't imvited back

>It's what my character would do!

hey can I invite my girlfriend? she won't acknowledge the rules and will bring her OC that she's used for at least four other sessions, but she makes cute animal noises and is a waste of oxygen otherwise!

>>50057605
We only do this because player 1 is a fucktard who will probably do something to ruin the game for everyone else at the table.

>>50056745
Fucking this. I've been playing with one group for 20+ years. We've been playing the same characters in the last campaign for 5+.

Every fucking game at least one of them has to re-calculate all of their to hit bonuses before making an attack.

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How I somehow triggered the DM
>Playing Pathfinder.
>DM running the Wrath of the Righteous.
>I decide to make a commoner with a spear as a joke.
>Pisses off DM for some reason and demands to know why a commoner would be joining a holy crusade against the demons within the World Wound.
>My response: A) Drunken Bet, B) There is a cute cleric girl (one of the party members) that he wants to impress and C) Because he lives in this world too and demon shit is wack yo.
>DM slams shut a book he was holding dramatically and goes "Fine, play him then. Don't complain to me if he dies in the first session."
>pic related is DMs reaction when it turns out my character ends up being the most competent person in the group.
>pic related is DMs reaction every time I took another level in commoner.

>>50057643
I remember one time two of the players had a breakup and didn't come to the session, and it ended up making me cancel the session because nobody wanted to play with just two PCs.

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>>50057565
this happened

>>50057643
Bonus points if it's day of or just shows up with her, the latters happened to me before.

>>50057427
>she
There's your issue.

>>50057422
>>50057361

exactly. Remember these are things that trigger DMs

>>50057632
Funnily enough, that's actually how thief hiding works pre-3e. If you fail the roll, you're still hiding, just not in the super-undetectable way that rogues can.

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>>50057678

>some asshole necromancer in my group like this only with an extra dash of LELSORANDOM XD

>>50057665
I get the feeling the DM wanted more serious characters, and just the way you described your character's motivations is annoying. Mostly because it sounds like the character has 0 actual thought put into it and will get old real quick

but if it works then it works

>>50057621
Thankfully all my players who joined the bad guy and died for it accepted it, with better or worst mood.

It still triggers me because it completely destroys the balance of the challenge that I had planned. And depending on the system you use it's not easy or even posible to make new stats for the villain while you're DMing, it can easily mean more players will die thanks to that guy's "master plan".

>>50057665
>Making a joke character
>Surprised DM hates you
Anon, I hate to tell you this, but you're an asshat. Congratulations for fulfilling the thread's purpose, though.

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>>50056716
So this is my character, and her half-sister.

>>50057677
Tha same happened to me, but the broken couple was the DM and a player.

>>50057722
It was a quick summarization, but that was essentially the core of the character's motivation.

And besides, if a bunch of paladins and clerics and shit are trying to organize a crusade against the demon horde, are they really going to tell a guy, who brought his own weapon and wants to help keep demons from fucking up the world, to fuck off and that he can't help?

>>50057719
in his defense, the guy is a really great player

he just, I don't know how, chocked really fucking hard that session and kept digging himself deeper

>>50057762
so, how does a level in commoner work?

what do you get?

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>>50056716
You know what actually triggers me harder than nearly any shitty player behavior? People who try to discuss GMing when it's clear they've never GMed before. People who whine about phantom ogres and the like make it really, really obvious they have no idea what's actually going on the scenes.

>>50057762
No, but they're going to make him a footsoldier instead of a PC-tier commando.

>>50057774
Literally the worst possible stats - 1d4 hp, no good saves, low BAB, 2 skill points/level, very few class skills, no features whatsoever.

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>>50057373
>Entering a game
>Seven applicants
>Four of the applicants are Chaotic Neutral, one is Chaotic Good, one has no alignment listed.
>MFW Lawful Neutral

>Start a new campaign for some newbies
>Have a party of 3
>One of them just shows up to the session with a friend
>Don't want to be a dick to this guy so let him play
>"Don't worry he's played before"
>Proceeds to ignore my way to shoehorn him into the group for a lolsorandumb way
>Says how much effort he puts into his characters then literally has no backstory at all or connection to the party
>stops coming after 2 sessions and won't tell us he's leaving instead pretending his internet keeps cutting out

>>50057713
Had he known enough to cite that I woulf have explained that this edition is different. This was his fourth session ever, first time with us. He would fo this on almost every check. It was like
>you failed your roll
and he was like
>yeah but does it make sense though. I'm a trained/skilled/outstanding rogue.
>What is he a commoner/militia/grunt?
>Yeah I'd totally smoke/kill/hide from/sneak up on/steal from him
Every fucking failed roll with the special pleading

>>50057565
More of these please. Lost all of mine when my SSD died.

>>50057780
Assuming you mean quantum ogres, I agree. I literally straight-up told my players I was engaging in some quantum ogring when I do worldbuilding. Didn't seem to ruin anyone's experience.

>>50057780
Any example?

>>50057665

How was your character the most competent?

>>50057788
wow sounds like a shit game. not balanced whatsoever. what game is it?

>>50057792
I once played a LG character trying to herd a party of chaotics into doing the right thing, and it was pretty great.
The character was also an awakened duck wizard but that's not relevant here. Unless it triggers some DMs.

>>50057813
You know what game it is.

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>>50057077
Unless it's a death save.

>>50057774
>>50057788

When the AP literally starts with "Huge Ass demon and Huge Ass silver dragon start fighting in the middle of the camp and the shock waves of their attacks are literally sundering the ground, the entire group fall in a crevasse, regaining consciousness some time later." It's not like that have that much of a choice on who's in the commando squad.

I was essentially going for "Normal guy in over his head, but still trying to do what he can to keep the world from ending."

>>50057601
I've always kinda wanted to sit one of these people down, and run a few 1-on-1 sessions with them.

I'd start by trying to dig down past all the nonsense backstory, and figure out what their stupid character wants ~right now~. No bumbling around doing nothing, as these vacuous idiots are wont to do; I'm talking solid, quantifiable goals, that they could start chasing *now*.

Then, once I'd ascertained their goals, I would arrange scenarios in which their goals could be achieved somehow. If their goal is proactive ("I want to save my homeland" sorta thing) then I'd give them an opportunity to do that (go here and defeat this dude), then throw obstacles in their way (but first, fight your way through his lieutenants). If their goal is reactive ("I must preserve the balance of light and dark" sorta thing) then I'd invent a scenario which they must react to (the light is growing too strong, what do), if they wish to achieve their goals.

Once the character has their goal and scenario, I'd just spend all the rest of my time and effort reacting to the ways they pursue those goals, as naturally and realistically as possible. Make it clear that their actions have consequences, and bullshit like being rude to powerful people will cause more problems than it solves, and hey maybe your character isn't the paragon of wisdom and virtue you think they are?

They'd probably get annoyed and quit halfway through "deciding goals", but god damnit I wanna try.

No, my character doesn't speak common.

>>50057837
I really dont, dude

>>50057632
>>50057794
>but I feel like as a rogue I shouldn't have to roll a check to hide
Well that is what ranks in the skill or proficiency are for, depending on edition. Sometimes you have to accept you ate shit on a roll.

>>50057841
>When the AP literally starts with "Huge Ass demon and Huge Ass silver dragon start fighting in the middle of the camp and the shock waves of their attacks are literally sundering the ground, the entire group fall in a crevasse, regaining consciousness some time later."
WHAT
That there's some DBZ shit, let me tell you hwat.

>>50057841
great introduction. not as cliche as being prisoners, but still has the same sort of dangers

>>50057845
Sounds like solo Exalted.

>>50057858
It's the very first greentext line in the post.

>>50057858
It was Pathfinder, I was purposefully playing an NPC class.

>>50057811
The dice, mainly. The rest of the party had a hard time hitting things and the enemies were pretty good at making their saving throws.

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>>50056716
>Who cares if he's a noble? He insulted me so I'm going to stab him.
>What do you mean the city hates us now? He was an asshole.
>Are you seriously trying to kill us off? There's no reason for half the fucking city guard to be after us.

And pretty much all scenarios where the PCs say fuck the consequences, then are visibly confused when there are consequences.

>>50057865
Wrath of the Righteous was all sorts of DBZ tier bullcrap. It was the debut of the Mythic ruleset if I remember correctly.

My character was essentially an actually competent Krillin or Yamcha.

>>50057845

Is, "unite the world under one enlightened system that strives to achieve increasing efficiency over time by collecting information and wisdom from society and hard science so as to keep reinventing and improving itself" a good goal for such a game?

>"You are now face to face with a black dragon"
>"I poke him xD"
>"Why'd I get instant killed by breath weapon?"

>>50056745
>7 sessions in
>"I cast X"
>"Okay, what does X do?"
>"I don't know."

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>>50057932
>actually competent Krillin or Yamcha.

>>50057845

I wanna be the damned Pimp-King of the continent and make everyone else my bitches. Now I don't expect it'll be easy, cause most people gotta be taught to want to be someone's bitch, but goddam I'm gonna try.

First step is to get some proxies and arrange for them to take over a city state so I have a place where authorities will look the other way while I set up cartels to make me more money for operations.

>>50057995

Keep laughing you tail-less freak.

>>50057995
Oh shut it Vegeta, didn't Krillin kill you on Namek once?

>>50057803
Shit, meant to say quantum. I recently admitted to a player that the conspiracy his character was uncovering (the cloest thing the campaign has to an overarching plot right now), which he said he was really enjoying, was mostly me making shit up as we went along. Hasn't made it any less fun as far as I can tell.
>>50057810
You see one or two of them in nearly any thread about GM discussion. They're the ones who complain the loudest about "railroading," and who seem to think railroading is anything that limits player agency when in reality giving the players true freedom is what leads to those boring, bland "sandbox" campaigns where the players just wander around with nothing much happening.

>>50058105
I wrote a university paper once (researched and everything) about how to railroad players without them feeling like they're being railroaded and while giving them just enough agency to make their choices feel meaningful. If you can achieve that you're basically set for life.

>>50058139
link please

>>50058139
You can't just say that and not post it. Or at least post sources.

Hey anon, is it OK if I name my character John Cena?

>>50058166
only if he can cast invisibility

>>50057964
No. Too vague. Too broad. Break it down into something quantifiable and achieveable - what's your character's first step towards that overarching goal?

>>50058047
This guy gets it. He's getting in cosy with a city state's ruling powers, so he'll have some leverage in his future enterprises. Now, his plan might not go smoothly - there might be a succession crisis looming, other business-owners might be angling for favours, local gangs might want not welcome our hero muscling in on their turf, lots of fun.

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>>50058153
>>50058157
Important context: this is both a discussion of what makes an effective narrative and a sample adventure/gimmick that helps support it. I make no claims that every claim is perfect, nor that the designed system is without flaw. That said, I think it offers good insight into how to handle an interactive narrative.

Sorry it took a while, I had to proofread and remove all mentions of my name from the document.

>>50058467
What course was this for?

>>50057571
Being prepared is autism now? Fuck off freeloader.

>>50057813
Commoner is supposed to be shitty. It's not a player class.

>>50056716
"I roll to seduce."

>>50058510
English 203: Writing in Context. The professor was famous for picking strange themes for the courses he taught (he once taught a zombie literature class).

>>50057932
>an actually competent Krillin or Yamcha
So Master Roshi if he was in his 30s?

>>50057184
highly underrated

>>50057544
but that's assuming that events happened in roughly the same timeframe as in real world history.
If you have elves and orcs running around this seems pretty benign especially since he specified he was shipwrecked and thus is a fish out of water.
Better travel and contact with other nations seems like a given when wizards can poof hundreds of miles per teleport spell or magic up a enchanted ship.

>>50057626
I mean honestly I don't mind this. If they play that character well and no players mind its all good. Rather have someone who knows how to roleplay one thing than one whose doing something he doesn't like.

It's funny.
All this stuff, and the game I'm in we can have conversations about murdering each other's characters in cold blood to the rest of the group - the player in question included - and nobody bats an eye because it actually makes sense for this shit to happen due to things conspiring to set the PCs against one another.
GM is enjoying himself. The players don't care. Someone's going to be dying (either the initial victim or the instigator) and everyone's fine with it. Well, OoC at least.

>>50057451
Haloperidol/Haldol, most antipsychotics etc.
Insulin.

>>50056716

I run a game in the FF settings, so . . . yes?

>>50056776
Only if your character's surname is Japón.

>>50057992

If I ever heard this, I'd just say "Well in that case, it does nothing because you apparently don't know the spell."

I want to be an unarmed and unarmored fighter and be as capable as my fellow fighters who wear armors and wield weapons

>>50059116
Sure, monk is a base class.

"Here, this is the 50-pages-long backstory for my character."

>>50058825
Why aren't people jumping in from weird continents all the time?

>>50056723
I can feel the triggering already.

>>50059134
>Monk
>Capable as a fighter
Kek

>>50056776
>>50056813
I'm actually not opposed to either of these really. As long as everyone isn't this.

>>50059190
>it is with this monk variant I found online that's just like the Avatar cartoon

I take my flying ring and I fly overhead the battle outside of battle, occasionally healing the party until the battle is over.

>>50057037
How very Japanese of them.

>>50057401
"Kay, how does everyone else feel about this development?"

>>50059224
thats shugenja anon.

>>50056922
>not having a tub of pencils and a giant plastic box full of different dice
everytime i roll a fail i put the die in the fail tub and use new ones. enjoy your cursed dice muahahhaha

>>50059273
Existing material has never stopped people from making horrible homebrew.

>>50058804

Highly under rated way to trigger your DM?

>>50059134

Monks are not capable compared to other weak (non caster) classes though.

"Half-demon, half-angel hybrid."

DM: The crypt awaits before, a large stone slab of a door taunting you with its immobility.
Billy: Blast! How shalt we get through this door? King Darod and his Kingdom are depending upon us to retrieve the cure!
Gwen: Don't worry, I have an idea! Remember earlier when we were interrogating that skeleton? He mentioned that the stone moves when the water strikes it . . .
Billy: I pee on it.
John: I also pee on it.
Gwen: Wait, how does a skeleton talk anyway?
DM: The door opens. And I hate you. I hate all of you with the very fiber of my being.

>>50059228

How is this triggering. If they don't have air support that is their fault.

>>50057401
You know, I wouldn't mind having the characters trying to side with the villain. Like, maybe in PotA they tell one of the prophets they want to join an elemental cult and they go killing the other prophets and then betraying their new patron. I wouldn't mind at all, it would be nice seeing how they end up becoming evil and the party may fracture, but it'd be one hell of a good story. Of course, this has to be a decision made by the players, I'd never endorse it in game...only roll with it if it ever happens.

>>50059350
Depends on the game. In 3.PF, you're right.

>>50057678
But anon, that's how you play an evil character. That shit works!

Consider yourself lucky that your players can think for themselves! I ask my players what they want to do and they never know, they just want me to give them the answers to they can roll dice...

>>50059385
What about 5e?

>>50057643
>i ask for six hours every two weeks on a weekend
>chuckle fuck mcanimeisleepicXD still needs to stop the session to have hour long conversations with his fuck meat
God fucking damn you Girts

>>50059351
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>50057665
>joke character

Shoot yourself in the brain.

>>50059401
Monk is still behind every other martial in 5e, the only thing redeemable is stun locking

>>50059495
Endlessly stunlocking is OP as fuck in any game where you have teammates.

>>50059351
Okay
but the angel-part and the demon-part cancel out
you are a normal human being

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I have an idea.

>>50059508
>Endlessly
Is not endlessly though, depends on your ki pool

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>>50056716
I want to play a Kobold who's a Fighter

>>50059174
Because when other continents are that accessible, they won't be weird anymore.

>>50056716
I remember once a fake rumour going around that you could unlock Cloud's sister as a party member she dual-wielded Buster Swords

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>>50056760

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It only works with unimaginative or slow DM.

>>50056813
It pisses me off to this day that you couldn't take him as a party member after the duel.

>>50059614
The barbarian is pretty that-guyish, didn't he try to rape the blonde elf just because her player is a guy playing a female character?

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>>50057780
>>50057803
What's so wrong with quantum ogres? Some people just like preparing special stuff ahead of time
I didn't even know it was a point of contention for turboautismos

>>50059641

Yep. It's that one.

>>50056716
Okay, you have a craft knife

>>50056745
The dice. Oh, you died.

>>50056776
You can't speak the local language and need to roll on interpretation for all communicative actions.

>>50056922
House dice, faggot

>>50057002
She slaps you hard.

>>50057087
I conceed to this

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>>50059614

Nice work. and if they try to take the food by force we can slaughter them.

>>50056716
Thats fine its as big as a zweihander though
>>50056760
Fuck off
>>50056776
Thats fine as long as youve got a backstory and the fight kind of bg for it
>>50056922
Git gud nerd
>>50057002
She is disgusted and the guard whips you across the room by your arm, make a dex save.
Thats all i habe time for

>>50059691
>it's as big as a zweihander though
no it's not, what the fuck, even if it's just as long, it has at least five times the mass, maybe even more. That is fucking ridiculous.

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>>50057139

>>50059614
What group only has one entrance?

>>50059749

what is the image here?
I don't get it.

>>50057678
>That final step
>Not "Comrade! Help! Some fiend set this orphanage alight! We need to get the others out!"

>>50056851
>nd I have to waste 50 fucking minutes before the game explaining to everyone why homebrew shit on the internet is shit

Just say no, that race doesn't exist in this setting.

>>50059659
I suspect it's mostly neverplayers who don't know what they're talking about in general, since I openly admit to doing it and none of my players care. Then again, I don't play with idiots/never use Roll20 so I've never encountered a lot of the things people here complain about.
The problem is that railroading has become a meme, like Mary Sues. The definition has been watered down through misuse to the point of near-meaninglessness, and since no one really knows what it means anymore beyond being bad, they attack anything that has the faintest whiff of it because sounding like a complete idiot is better than holding an unpopular opinion. I guess.

>>50059237
topkek

>>50059771
>read the filename
>read the text
>realize that they mean the same
>achieve enlightenment

>>50059754

That why I said it only works with if the DM can't think on his feet or doesn't have backup plan.

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>>50057793
>stops coming after 2 sessions and won't tell us he's leaving instead pretending his internet keeps cutting out
This fucking shit. God damn.

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"This is my character."

>>50059614
>"We'll get more money!"
>They have a limited amount of coin on them.
>"So?"
>I mean, if you block the entrance they won't be able to go get more.
>"So?"
>So you'll be waiting a week or two to extort the Goblins for the coin you would have gotten if you killed them now.

>extended argument about the benefits of torturing noname goblins

>>50059614
>Completely forgets that they're there to rescue a herd of pigs.

>>50059857
The worst part is that all that minmaxing can immediately get put to the sword with one failed save against Hold Person or any save-or-dies.
So then the next time they show up they start talking about undead templates...

My character is a tank!

>>50059930
We're playing GURPS OGRE, what else were you going to be?

>>50059930
MY TANK IS FIGHT!

>>50059930
Well it's a mech game, so everyone is a tank on legs.

>>50059814
the text is romanized japanese bullshit
the filename is stopit.jpg

does that mean he's saying he is triggered by the described event or that he wants the line of description to stop because it's annoying even if the even itself is not triggering?
or that that last bit makes it cross the line into triggering?

>>50059963
It seems like a pretty 'that guy' thing to do, obstinately trying to play as a tank in a mech game (with an optional side of going on about how mechs are unfeasible in rl and tanks would always be better). Unless its one of those rare mech settings where combined-arms are an actual thing.

>>50059930
This isn't World of Warcraft bud.

>>50059749
What animal is that supposed to be? Some sort of dog?

>>50057678
>~40 PCs are born.jpeg

>>50059930
Eh that's not that bad, had plenty of people play Paladins with protection style say that and be fine.

>>50059998
ChromeStrike. You could operate a tank or helicopter instead of a mech with decent success, and mixed vehicle tactics are a key feature of warfare.

>>50060006
from the tiny green text at the bottom it seems it's supposed to be a coyote

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>>50057565
>>50057678
Template

Let the games begin

>>50060035
Tanks are pretty useful in Heavy Gear's setting too, though I don't know if it's got rules for tank-piloting.

>>50057313
FUCKING THIS

Am I the only fucking person here that has players who never do anything but a fucking human knight?

Literally, it's fucking boring as hell. Especially when we're playing a homebrew and I made several races with diverse traits and they ALWAYS fucking go human.

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>so you have my spellsheet, right?
>so you have my character sheet, right?
>i'll just magic missile them
>i'll just magic missile them
>i'll just magic missile them
>i'll just magic missile them
>i'll just magic missile them
>i'll just magic missile them>i'll just magic missile them>i'll just magic missile them
>i'll just magic missile them, etc.
>"my character's name is just [INSERT PLAYER'S NAME HERE]
>"i'll just follow the rest of the party"
>"i'll just follow the rest of the party"
>"i'll just follow the rest of the party" for the millionth time

>>50059857
>>50059614
So as someone who has taste and doesn't read webcomics is the joke of the series supposed to be that the GM is mentally handicapped?

>>50058139
Is the TL:DR of your thesis "If the players need to read a note on the body but fail to search it, move the note from the body to the chest"?

>>50060101
No offense, but it kind of sounds like your players don't like your custom races desu.

Personally, I like human characters. As a DM, it helps me make non-human NPCs feel more alien and exotic.

>>50056716
greatsword
two handed
2d6 slashing damage

>>50060125
Not at all. You can actually read it if you want: >>50058467

>>50056716
So long as nothing changes mechanically, sure.

>>50057932
Krilin is competent, though. On original DB he's something like the fourth most powerful fighter in the world behind Goku (who's an alien), Piccolo (also an alien but originally intended to be a demon) and Ten Shin Han (whose humanity is kind of ambiguous given that he can regrow a fucking arm, is incredibly gifted with ki and depending on what you consider canon may be descended from a clan of humanoid magic people). On DBZ he's the strongest character who's not an alien. His destructo disc lets him cut off Frieza's tail who even on his first form is over a dozen times stronger than him, and if he hadn't missed he could have killed him right away with no need for Goku to get involved.

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>>50060101
Fuck you armoured human knights are my fetish

>>50057565
>>50057678
If you don't just kill the person's character off and kick them from the campaign by FGSFDS (if not before) then you really only have yourself to blame.

>>50060122
I fucking hate those background characters, never rp at all either, but they always seem content being that.

>>50060179
18 is way stronger than her husband, not an alien

Also I doubt krillin is even human he ain't got no nose.

>>50060203
It's fine if they're new to tabletops, but Jesus Christ, when they've been playing longer than you have, it's a problem.

>>50060101
No, my group has someone who is always a noble human fighter in fantasy.

>>50060122
I was in a party of 3 with the other 2 players being prime examples of that, it literally felt like a 1 on 1 game with the DM and I. Got out fast, some say those two are still stuck in place trying to follow each other forever in an endless loop.

>>50060215
She's a superpowered cyborg made by a mad scientist, though

I actually really liked the call back to the Red Ribbon Army, even more so the androids. No. 8 appears near the end of the red ribbon army saga in DB and I had kind of forgotten about him until the Androids showed up

I'm gonna be this faggot.
>>50056716
Only if we're playing a ridiculous campaign.
>>50056723
I'll give it a look, if it looks alright I'll find somewhere to put it in but if not, pick something else.
>>50056745
Get out of my group.
>>50056746
Sounds fun enough, but you don't get a dex damage bonus or anything.
>>50056762
Yes but fuck you.
>>50056766
Get out of my group.
>>50056776
Sure, that sounds fun - you should really hype up the foreign culture thing.
>>50056813
Same as above.
>>50056922
Yes.
Here.
Fuck off, it's on your sheet.
>>50057002
This isn't going to go down well, are you sure you wanna do that?
>>50057083
He's not gay, James. That's not how charisma checks work.
>>50057087
New group, old player was a flaky faggot.
>>50057184
Alright.
>>50057239
Hm. We should be able to work around it.
>>50057297
Dude, you've got meds for a reason. Take them. Your 'real self' isn't healthy.
>>50057356
Can you give a better explanation for your character leaving?
>>50057373
Alignment is no excuse to break group cohesion. If you're gonna be that much of a prick, it's also completely in character for the LG paladin to drop your ass on the curb.
>>50057401
He laughs at you and commends your balls, roll initiative.
>>50057474
You don't. Rethink being a jackass or get out.
>>50057554
Shut the fuck up wizard, I did this specifically for the warrior - he doesn't get enough cool shit. Metagaming prick.
>>50057564
Dude, it's not a competition. I could just rocks fall if it was that, or run tomb of horrors. Chill out and have fun - I wanna write a story with you guys.
>>50057601
I already said no to your half-angel half-demon bullshit, and this is a low level campaign.
>>50057626
Well, I don't mind, but I really would recommend trying something else. You never know what else would be fun.
>>50057632
You're lucky I didn't kick you out as soon as you said fuck the party. You're not hidden.

>>50060215
The common form of dwarfism among DBZ humans is known to cause nose deformation (more specifically, very small, voldemort-like noses).

>>50060142
It's not just that, in games that aren't homebrew they still just play human. Maybe they'll do magic too. But that's it. They won't play elf, dwarf, or anything.

I mean, I get it, it's more relatable or immersive, but it's so uninteresting. It's always just some blank slated, run-of-the-mill, human dude. I can work with it, but it'd be much more fun the other way around.

Not that I make them change or anything, just something that annoys me

>>50060333
You shouldn't have to be a special race to be an interesting character. Humans are absolutely fine, and a good human character is anything but run-of-the-mill.

>>50060125
If you read it, you'd realize the TL:DR is 'your players don't need to search for the note, just tell them their character found it as soon as they entered the room'. It's really about times when player agency is appropriate versus times it isn't.

>>50060354
I feel warm and fuzzy that someone actually read it enough to discuss it.
If you have any thoughts that would be interesting to hear.

>>50060352
I give them different races because it's about the only personality they'll put into their characters. So yes, most of the time they end up being your average dude.

But whatever. I'm not saying humans can't be interesting, or you can't make a good game with just humans, it just makes it more fun and interesting when they deviate a bit and give me something fun to work with.

>>50057634
Okay, and this is what the other characters would do. Write a character that fits the group better.
>>50057643
You could've at least tried to sell it to me, I've had a good couple in my group before. Fuck off, you can be an obnoxious couple elsewhere.
>>50057665
You could've at least done it not as a joke, anon.
>>50057738
How many times do I have to tell you fuckers that the PCs will not be demons. You have a paladin in your party. No, demons cannot be good. They're fucking demons.
>>50057780
It's nice if there's some amount of spin to it if they make a different choice, but fucked if I could GM without some amount of quantum ogrey.
>>50057793
Thank fuck he left. I tell him he's out permanently and I hated his lolsorandumb bullshit.
>>50057848
Cool, you'll have to come up with an alternate way of communication, but I look forward to the learning common arc. Just make sure to work this out with the group a little OOC too.
>>50057909
You just tried to stab someone. A really rich someone, too. Get the fuck out, you could at least understand the consequences of your dumb bullshit.
>>50057973
Same as above.
>>50057992
That's your job dipshit. Look it up real quick or do something else and look it up while we do the others turns.
>>50058166
No.
>>50058562
Hey, you were here before. I said no then. The lich BBEG doesn't want to fuck you.
>>50059116
I'll have to mess with the rules because the monk rules are atrocious, but sure. You can have some amount of martial magic.
>>50059169
You're a level one, you haven't had many adventures yet. You've also clearly filled in too many details, that's gonna be a bitch to keep consistent later and make it impossible to improv connections. Even if it was a high level campaign, I'd ask you simplify it into a page max at least for first check, I'll read your fanfic later.
>>50059228
Okay.
>>50059351
Nigga I said no last time too.

>Hey I just read about this system
>I'm going to passively aggressively message you for the next week to run this random system for me before I quickly lose interest

>>50060394
I don't have much to say about it. I don't play GURPS, so I don't know the system.

I'd say that you're entirely right about allocating choices that are actually meaningful, although my experience is QMing not DMing. The one thing your dungeon didn't really offer was opportunities for genuine roleplay between the characters. Obviously there were trade offs with the efficiency in which they progress but the only real ethical decision - cooperating or fighting the other pirate group came right at the end. Maybe you could have had a tribe of pygmies or some morally neutral force that the players can help or stomp over so they get to debate something more abstract.

>>50060460
The main points are really system-agnostic.

Fair point about lack of roleplaying opportunities. But remember that the point of the exercise was to come up with a system that balanced choices with "railroady" narrative, not to be a perfect module. Ideally, you could use a similar system while also presenting roleplaying opportunities.

>>50059363
I said water. Take your magical realm out of this shit. No, 'passing water' doesn't count.
>>50059539
No. You're not playing an engineer. Also, those are expensive as fuck.
>>50059584
Okay, but you're going to have problems fitting into society, you're probably going to be treated second class at best and might even have to pretend to be captured by the rest of the party to even get into most towns.
>>50059614
You should've told me you wanted to play this kind of campaign. You're playing adventurers, not merchants. Do your job.
>>50059857
Okay edgy mcgee, can you afford that shit? Those stats don't look legit, let me check the pointbuy/reroll them.
>>50059930
It'll be tough and I'd prefer more of a narrative feel than something really gamey, but I'll try to accomodate.
>>50060122
Dude, are you sure you wanna be here?
>>50060148
I'm not changing the katana rules to your weaboo fancy.
Sorry for being a faggot.

>>50060457
Run it yourself, homo. DMing is tiring.

hour before session
"Hey guys, this will be awesome! I can't wait omg!'
fifteen minutes before session
*stops talking and no shows*

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>>50060101
Sorry m8, I just really like humans. I'll give my humans a lot of variety and will roleplay well, but I would just rather play a human over a dwarf or elf.

>>50060444
>How many times do I have to tell you fuckers that the PCs will not be demons. You have a paladin in your party. No, demons cannot be good. They're fucking demons.
She's only a half demon.

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>>50060301
>Can you give a better explanation for your character leaving?

This almost happened to me last week.

I thought that the local powers that be were trying to coerce him (the charcter) and some other criminals for hire into a suicide job with bad pay under threat that he would never work in this town again. So he was going to get into his cab-over and leave town.

Then the GM clarified that the game was taking place 2 years LATER in the setting then i thought and the Megacorp we were being sent after were not nearly as powerful in the city anymore which meant the job, while still a bit underpaying, was actually reasonable.

I asked the GM and other players if we could wind back the clock and they said yes.

I'm really glad the GM piped up with that tidbit about the date.

>>50058467
Holy footnotes, Batman. What was your primary area of study? LitAnal or History, I'm guessing.

This is cool, though. Totally gonna steal it and adapt for my 5e game. Thanks for posting.

>>50060333
Run a system that doesn't have humans, like Ironclaw or something.

>>50060122
I once took 8 players for a game of 5e since all 8 signed up incredibly fast I felt it would be rude to turn anyone away
Naturally I was a bit worried about having 8 players since I wasn't sure I'd be able to focus on all of them enough
Turns out I shouldn't have worried because the game ended up being the adventures of the cleric and the rogue guest staring 6 mutes

>>50060631
*tears character sheet in half, hands back one half*

And this is only half a character sheet. Now get the fuck out.

>>50060701
Mission accomplished!

>>50060631
Did I say the PCs will not be full demons? No tieflings either, especially ones that obvious. They'd still be ostracized at best, and the party paladin will be suspicious of anything you do.

>>50060325
Nah man, he literally HAS NO NOSE, its how he managed to win a fight in Dragonball against a guy who's special power was smelling like the worst shit and who's ultimate move was rubbing his crotch then touching you with it. Krillin won when Goku reminded him he had no nose and thus his reaction to it was entirely psychosomatic.

>>50060751
Well maybe for Krillin it's a really severe deformation.

>>50059169
I wouldn't mind someone doing this desu.

>>50059363
Don't be so hard on Gwen, girls don't pee standing up.

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>>50060701
*teleports behind you and chops of my katana

psht-nothing personal kid

>>50060651
Footnotes FTW.
I'm glad you liked it, and even gladder you might use it.

>>50060751
To be fair, there are plenty of humans with no sense of smell. That plus a defect or a childhood accident would explain it no problem.

>>50059363
none of them tried hitting the slab with their sword?
That's one step better than what my party would do.

>>50056851
>a weird school related cult with them
I've always thought that was weird. Frats I mean. Then again I'm not a yank so I suppose that comes with the territory.

>>50060792
>drow

>>50060829
Its an albino drow, duh

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Hey guys, I bought my own mini this week.

>>50060871
By the Emperor....

>>50060301
wtf dude, calm down.

>>50060947
haha it was just a prank dude lmao

>>50059857
>Quickdraw
>Two two handed weapons
>While both hands are fully occupied with other weapons
Yeah, roll 4 20s, no modifiers, for that to happen.

Also that statline and equipment set, no fucking way that's legit Dire Hell Cow? That's post-game in Diablo, so no way that qualifies for anywhere beneath 15th level, kill it, make it, buy it, out of the question, that could not possibly be acquired at the start of any moderate level campaign.

>>50059363
Creative way to try to bypass the puzzle. The DM didn't like it, but he handed them the victory for creativity. If anything, he's a great sport.

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>>50056745
>have ADHD
>this makes me This Person
>and not just DnD too, it's like that with everything
trust me, I hate it as much as you do

>>50060352
The argument you have is that "you don't need a weird race to make a great character", but you know the opposite is true, too. You don't have to use a human/elf/dwarf to have a great character as well, restricting it only makes the players feel constrained.

No, I'm not saying you should let them play a half-ogre, half-angel bullshit snowflake character, but if they want to design a character around the concept of a race being racially profiled as natural thieves(khajiit, for example), and trying to live in a world that is already against them.

>>50061116
My advice for you- Crib sheet

>>50059857
For all the god awful shit present, I have to say that I like the idea of different benefits when in light or darkness. For a not-shit player, it would encourage an adaptive playstyle. Yes, I know this is meant as parody. I'm just saying, I like characters that are influenced by the environment.

All this thread has shown me is that I've never actually had a bad player.

>>50061116
damn i got this problem too, get some bad anxiety over it and dont want to be that guy, so i just dont play ttrpgs anymore

>>50060122
>a wizard who only casts magic missile
It sounds like a Fighter.

>>50057526
Antidepressants aren't so big a deal, but shit like antipsychotics, or meds for bipolar can be. Like if somebody forgot to take their lithium I might be sketched out, then again I worked for a mental health department in new York so I saw more the extreme shit than the average case.

>>50056716
Is your weapon a fullblade or a greatsword? If so, yeah, I guess. Otherwise, maybe you should look into one of those.

>>50056723
I'll look, no promises. Look at me. No. Promises. This is not, "yes," this is, "maybe," leaning, "no."

>>50056745
I don't know, I don't have your character sheet; what do you roll?

>>50056746
I'll think about allowing it, but only as a feat, and only as a 1st level only feat at that.

>>50056760
Bull - And - Shit. My house, my rules. Coaster, quarter-folded paper towel, or leave.

>>50056762
I mean, technically yes, but are you sure you want to do that..? I'll put this into very basic terms you can understand: If this were Fallout 4, his name would have a skull next to it.

>>50056766
This one I'd just ignore. Not just what they did, but that they were even talking for the entire duration of the conversation.

>>50056776
>>50056813
Your grasp of the language is tenuous at best, so bring some earplugs, and I'll pass you notes telling you what you feel like is going on.

>>50056922
... This is why I have loaner dice. These are not yours, they are mine. I expect them back at the end of the session. Make sure you have yours next week.

Pencils are in the second drawer from the end in the kitchen, same rule as with the dice.

This is why you have a character sheet. Did you just leave your entire kit at home like an idiot? Jeez. Fine, I keep records for a reason. I don't have your last level up on there, so do me a favor and fill that out, yeah?

>>50057083
It is a wolf. You are rolling to seduce a feral wolf. No, no backing out of this now, this is your punishment for not paying attention, roll to seduce the wolf.

>>50057184
... What DMPC? You mean the hireling? The one you threw an absolute bitch-fit to be allowed to hire? Why'd you hire her if she's creepy?

>>50057356
I- O-okay..? Guess you didn't like how your character meshed with the story, then? Well, whatever, don't take too long.

>>50056716
In the Monster Manual for AD&D, the iron golem carries a sword exactly like that, so why would it not be okay?

>party member rolls to examine the area, and rolls low
>I will also roll to do this thing!

Like for fucks sake. There are few things that trigger me more than this. If you are this guy, FUCK YOU.

>>50061407
>implying every fucking character shouldn't search the room

>>50059363
Literally only Gwen is a cunt in that scenario
The other two are great

>>50060871

THIN YOUR PAINTS!

>>50061424
LE POOPOO AND PEEPEE XD

>>50057401
He takes it.

Later on, after the campaign has turned evil:

Just as you're about to raise the chalice above your head to drink from it and ascend to godhood, you feel a sharp pain in your chest, just under your left arm, that spreads out across your chest, making it hard to breathe. The golden cup falls to the floor, its contents spilled and ruined and the poisoned dagger you gave <the BBEG> to use to deal with <other player> is buried deep enough into you to strike your heart. Give me two Fortitude saves; one vs shellshock and eventual death, the other vs the poison on the dagger.

>>50057474
Did it occur to you to just, I don't know, ask him for it? Maybe bargain with him over it? No? Okay, well... I've seen his sheet, you're about to get your ass wrecked.

>>50057634
Well, what your character would do is about to get the party killed. Either rein it in, or get ready for them to roll on you when you do stupid shit. There is no middle road.

>>50057643
Do you have no other options? Damnit. That's fine, then, I'll run a freeform one-shot tonight, it'll be refreshing, but I swear to god, if you do this to me again, I will kick you from the group. All I ask is that anyone you bring to the table know the rules. Is that so hard to do?

>>50060101
Human master race, all other race is shit.
Dwarf? deep ground jews
Elf? Fucking narcissist tree-huggers faggots
Kobolds? Furry-tier shit
Orc? Green niggers
Halfling? Godammit Frodo put some shoes you poor shit
Dragonborn? Scaly-tier shit
Tiefling? Horny bastards
Human? Master race

>>50060792
>drow
>white skin

?

>>50061498
Humans? Basically all of them are hitler.

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>>50061451
Calm down autismotron
There's water in piss. If the DM in question wanted to make it a special PLOTPLOTPLOT kind of water, he wouldn't open the door.

>>50060792
>chops of my katana

You chop your katana off? Alright, roll for it.

... You fail and cut your liver out instead.

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>I want to buy a bunch of healing potions from the magic ship
>DM: It's 8am and the shop is closed. Remember, the elf proprietor is the quest giver and is waiting for your party at the town gates
>OK well I break through the door to the shop so I can steal some
>DM: This shop is in the middle of town, there are people everywhere and you're a half-orc barbarian, and the party cleric is fully rested. You sure you want to do this?
>I break down the door!
>DM: Yeah, town guardsmen surround you immediately
>Wtf!? I need healing potions!

>>50061417
There's a difference between "everybody searching" and "I was doing something else before, but now for some reason when my comrade tells me he found nothing in that room I feel I should check it out."

No, fuck you, fuck off, you fucking sack of fuck. You saw a bad roll and wanted to try and do better. Don't you dare even try to say "oh, my character just likes to make sure." No. Fuck you.

It's not even limited to perception. I've seen this on like, fucking library investigation. "Oh, the wizard who has his head in the books all the time couldn't find any information on the black citadel? I'll just tale a crack at it then, and see what I can find. Fuck the sage, I'm clearly not capable of trusting his results!

Oh, you're making a skill check to do something cool? I'll roll that too! What do you mean why? I just want to!

Crawl into a Grick's asshole and die. Nobody loves you. The gods themselves spit on your pestilant name, scum.

>>50056851
Write down what is and isn't allowed in your game.

When I was Dming, I used a forum to track game progress. First couple posts had info pertaining to what source books and rulebook I was using in the game.

>Book of Exalted Deeds, Draconomicon, etc
>Limit of two base classes or one base class and one prestige class
>Nat 20 crits on spells with attack rolls

Shit like that. That way, you can point to a link (or printout, if your production values are high enough) as to what is and isn't allowed in the game, so everyone's literally on the same page.

>>50061687
>this much complaint about people rolling Search checks because someone failed a roll
Have you never heard of, "trust, but verify," before?" Like, I trust that you checked it, but I'm going to verify that you didn't miss anything?

>>50061705
>limit of two base classes or one base class and one prestige class
this is fucking retarded, anon. You need at least two base classes to meet some/most of the prerequisites in prestige classes.

Arcane Trickster, for one, how the fuck are you going to get level 2/3 spells and 2d6 sneak attack? You don't, not without multiclassing.

>>50061687
>Don't you dare even try to say "oh, my character just likes to make sure." No. Fuck you.
Being fair, it is 100% in the spirit of an adventurer to want to double-check everything.
However, it does get questionable when the untrained muscle spontaneously decides to ape the part of the highly trained investigator.

>>50061705
>Limit of two base classes or one base class and one prestige class
Just what martials need: An arbitrary limitation while full casters can continue to be just as good.

Because full casters are better off avoiding any PrC that doesn't have full spell progression in the first place.

Idiot.

>>50061803
But this only applies if they do the same on a successful roll.

>after first encounter of the campaign
>they all nod to everyone and then go in separate directions
It was only wave one too

>>50061844
Yep. Never said it didn't.

Go watch someone play the main game of Uncharted 4. There's a scene in a wine cellar/basement area where the main character and his brother need to get past a door, which is locked. If you check the door after his brother does, you get the following humorous exchange:

>"I told you. It's locked."
>"Trust, but verify."
>"And?"
>"It's... locked."
>"Right."

>>50061803
Yes, I am in fact butthurt about people deciding to check someplace because somebody who already checked it rolled poorly. It's bullshit. You're not deciding this based on sound reasoning, you're just using that reasoning to justify your meta bullshit because you can't accept that somebody didn't do a great job at what they wanted to do. If you can't trust your fellow players to do their own thing without your "help" then you have a problem. A problem with respect. If you keep jumping in to cut into other people's actions, you show that you don't respect their space to act within the game, you don't respect their capacity to succeed without you doubling down on their efforts, and most importantly you don't fucking respect the group's ability as a whole to succeed in spite of a failed attempt to do or find something.

If you pull this shit you're just greedy for whatever the fuck "success" is, to the point of undermining the rest of the table, and if you can't respect a person's failures without shoving your nose into things then I have a problem with you.

>>50061940
>sperging this hard over a difference of opinion
Seriously, dude? Chill. And who's to say I wouldn't do it for successful rolls too, if I didn't like what came of it? "Bad outcome," can mean either, "nothing there," or, "didn't do a good enough job," after all. And it can be funny, too.

See >>50061844 and >>50061921.

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>>50061803
Do you also roll after your party member rolls a nat 20 to verify that he found everything or if there just wasn't something in the room?

It's an easy exercise to present when the player just doesn't find anything because of a low roll, but it's harder to argue that meta doesn't come into play when you don't roll perception when another player rolls high and finds nothing.

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>>50059857
>half ogre/half dark elf/half human

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>>50059949
well, that took me back. I feel ancient now

>>50061995
No, shut up. I am mad about opinions on the internet. Your promises of respectful difference and rational discourse on rightful applications are as empty as my sex life, and I refuse to be any less than frothing at how rustled this makes my jimjams.

Kindly hurl yourself into the endless tortures of the lower planes, where the great carrion bird will sup on your pain for eternity, mongoloid filth.

>>50062049
>the endless tortures of the lower planes, where the great carrion bird will sup on your pain for eternity
Sounds like fun, because I could at least run away from, or fight, the torments of the lower plane.

Seriously though, dude, chill.

>>50057601
You begin your adventure with 2 sets of abilities, each of which is unusable because you have the other, a pair of wings but the left one doesn't work, and you begin in grappling range of a pair of high level zombies.

>>50060301
>>50060444
>>50060509
>>50061315
>replying to a bunch of posts like anyone cares about your opinion
what the fuck is wrong with you guys

>>50062336
Probably the same guy

>>50062336
>replying to a bunch of posts like anyone cares about your opinion
I don't know, what the fuck's wrong with you?

>>50056716
Thats fine but you have to have 24 str to use is as a 2-hander

>>50059604
remember the one where Zack was playable character but you had to cure his mako sickness? Wasted a lot of time on that

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>>50059659
>What's so wrong with quantum ogres?
The position is that you are technically depriving the players of actual choice and therefore agency.
It's technically true, but the only way to avoid that issue is to provide an 100% accurate simulation experience.
So it's a stupid positon, like saying "Off" is a speed setting.

>>50059797
>The problem is that railroading has become a meme, like Mary Sues. The definition has been watered down through misuse to the point of near-meaninglessness, and since no one really knows what it means anymore
If only there was an easy to reference pdf on the subject.
Oh, wait there is!

>>50062543
But Zack is a playable character.

>>50062368
>replying to a post replying to posts replying to posts
>like anyone cares about your opinion on their opinion on their opinions

wtf is wrong with you

>>50060501
I read through all of it too and its pretty good, but you could restrain even more the outcomes to make it easier.

I have always ran improvised campaigns as players wanted to do their thing in my group since the first time, trying to make them return on track was impossible so I just played sandbox and created characters and situations I found fun.

So in my opinion the ending could just be :
1 they fight the guardian
2 they get in the middle of the fight with the other pirates and the guardian
3 pirates are already gone

And if they take to long to get out for whatever reason skeletons get out. That way I get to keep bookkeeping at minimum and still make the decisions worth it.

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>>50062576

this is a story from my playing days
>play as paladin
>constantly ask DM what weapon do
>cannot remember what damage weapons do even though its written on the fucking sheet
I was retatrded

>>50060101
Mine are always super edgy "I'm a monk thats exiled from his homeland because x"

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>>50057565
b-but i played a chaotic good catfolk rouge.
Admittedly he was a commando style DPS Rouge who would rip and tear with his claws and looked more like pic related than kawaii desu neko neko but...

>>50062841
Shutup nigger. No one asked you.

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>>50060444
>No, demons cannot be good. They're fucking demons.
The Light corrupts too

>>50060203
>>50060225
and then they complain that they didn't get to do anything fun or special

>>50061248
Magic missile doesn't miss.

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>>50063058
>Magic MISSile
>Never misses

>Burning Hands
>Your hands don't burn, just the enemies

>Flaming Orb
>It takes up a square

Magic sucks.

>>50057554
fuck me we had this but even more petty
Whole party is in checking though different rooms of an old fort after we cleared out the baddies.
Our magus finds a bag of platinum coins, yeah whatever.
Elsewhere my catfolk rouge (yeah i'm the guy from the above post) finds a bag of gems, i quickly ask if any of them are cymophane, cat's eye stone, since i had said he was looking for one to decorate his kukri's handle. DM says nope, i shrug and say "okay he tucks the bag into one of the pockets on his vest and keeps searching the boxes to see if there's anything else." thinking nothing of it.
Magus guy flips out "Hey hey! if he's doing that i want to take like, ten of those coins!"
"dude what?"
"you're stealing the loot!"
"I what now?"
"You said you put it in your pocket!"
"Yeah" my guy wore a heavy cloth vest over his armor that had a hood and a bunch of little pockets on it roughly based off one i owned in real life.
"Well if you're taking loot so am i!"
"Um one how would your character know if i was, and i never said it was stealing anything, he needs his hands free, what's he supposed to do balance the bag on his head?"
"w-well i do it anyway"
I made a point of tossing the gem bag on the pile when we meet up again, dude was so worried i'd screw him out of imaginary money he made an ass out of himself. All because my character was looking for a gem that's probably worth like one gold.

>>50060301

Thank you for replying to so many posts.

You seem like a pretty level headed guy.

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>>50061235
>All this thread has shown me is that I've never actually had a bad player.

Please go on.
I wish to learn more about how you have come to this conclusion, and also what you believed constituted a bad player before and after encountering this thread.

>>50061487
>He takes it.
>Later on, after the campaign has turned evil:
>Just as you're about to raise the chalice above your head to drink from it and ascend to godhood, you feel a sharp pain in your chest, just under your left arm, that spreads out across your chest, making it hard to breathe. The golden cup falls to the floor, its contents spilled and ruined and the poisoned dagger you gave <the BBEG> to use to deal with <other player> is buried deep enough into you to strike your heart. Give me two Fortitude saves; one vs shellshock and eventual death, the other vs the poison on the dagger.

It's been a relentless siege oh paranoia working with this person, and we have both benefitted so much from it. We both knew this would come to a head at the end. If I die, then well played, if I live then I'm going to miss them.

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>>50059116
One of my favorite recurring 3.5 characters was a fighter like this. Of you take every feat for Unarmed Combat you can do some pretty amazing things so long as you know how Grappling works. He was devastating in 1v1 because if you're not as good at Grappling as he is (hint: you're not) you WILL lose. It doesn't even require pulling in wacky feats from lots of sources either. All you need is Complete Warrior to make it really great and most DMs are cool with the Complete books in my experience.

Of course I would still have a dagger and spiked gauntlets so I could threaten adjacent spaces and deal lethal damage during grapples if I wanted to and I still wore light armor (not that your AC matters when you're grappling).

Your straight damage when it comes to just punching people is surprisingly on-par with monks since the build allows you to pour all your points into Strength rather than splitting it between Strength, Dexterity, and Wisdom and you factor in the fact that you land your hits way more often with the higher BAB as well.

A few times my DM even OK'ed a Fighter variant called "Thug" that has Rogue weapon and armor proficiencies in exchange for 4+Int Skill Points per level and a few extra class skills that fit.

>>50062336

Replying to things and sharing your opinions and reading the replies and opinions of others can be fun.

>>50062794

I am saving this image

>>50063568
Tell me more please, you have me curious now.

How was your mobility and how did you get close enough to ranged enemies to get into a grapple?