ITT : signs your group is no fun allowed >Giants are fighting

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>>49983636
First off, nice digits
I haven't had such a group yet, but I can post some stories

>>49983636
There are already established rules to fighting with inappropriately sized weapons.

When in doubt just use some kind of damage(too small) or agility/accuracy(too large) penalty.

>>49984046
The real question was whether it would still be doing magical damage, or non-magical damage

>>49984118
Most magical equipment requires some kind of attunement. If the player lacks the ability to attune, the GM can make up whatever he wants.

Also wrong sized weapons are an excuse to deny a proficiency bonus on account of the player lacking proficiency in wrong sized weapons.

It's full scale handwavium, so either find a hard line rule or negotiate something with the DM.

>>49984025
Something about a tall, burly wolverine woman acting tsundere amuses the hell out of me.

>>49983636
>thinking that a human sized creature can effectively fight with a 15 foot long sword no matter how strong he is.

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>>49986193
>NEWSFLASH! The genre's called FANTASY!
>It's meant to be UNREALISTIC you MYOPIC MANATEE

>>49986212
Even if he can wield it, he'll have to leave it outside when going into buildings since it'll be too long to even carry inside of buildings, let alone swing it.

>go back and forth for a while with dm about gamefinder game
>excited about it, everything makes it seem like it will be a great game
>be perfectly articulate and polite player
>go above and beyond for research for your role/setting
>say one thing even relatively memelike
>gm: "you're making me worry cause you said (memeword). we don't allow that kind of stuff at the table, like at all."
>basically get told to fuck off after that for no other reason than saying (memeword)

I get screening players but it's not a prestigious job interview, faggot, get over yourself.

>>49986285
We need to know this to properly judge you, anon.

What was the memeword?

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>>49986274
Doesn't take away from the point that the GM and the rest of the group shit all over a fun concept by straight up telling him
>no you can't

Even when fighting outside against other giants.

>>49986293

"Desu" and it was literally the only thing I said to even signal muhboardculture. Thing is I think the real reason he got all uptight was he just didn't want anymore players but he didn't know how to say "fuckoff we're full". That kind of womanly backhanded behavior steams my buns.

>>49986349

Shit. "Desu" isn't just a meme word, it's a weeb word. I can't blame him for getting gunshy.

>>49984025
Wolverine woman made me think of the Mutant, not the animal.

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>>49986274
> he'll have to leave it outside when going into buildings since it'll be too long to even carry inside of buildings

That's the best part. Apparently this thing is going to weight like 160 pounds according to the DM, and if he can lift and use it then hell yes. Imagine it.

>Bad part of town
>Bunch of thugs laughing, weapons ready
>Head to a bar to rough the place up and threaten them into giving them drinks for free
>Fucking 15 foot sword sitting outside by the horses

Yeah I'd turn around.

>>49987478

no it was just faggotry considering I'd been going back and forth with him without issue being perfectly polite and nonmeemin

also /tg/, arguably the biggest bedwetter board looking down on weebs, lel

>>49986304
Sometimes you have to put your foot down and say "No, you can't throw a house at them. I don't care if you have an 18 Strength. This isn't a superhero game. You can't jump across that river outside of town with an 18 dex, either. It's a hundred yards wide. And stop reading those fanfics about crawling into bodily orifices just because you have a high Escape Artist skill."

Damning someone with the "No fun allowed" tag just because they are running the game the way they want to is a bit much. The DM has probably put a lot of effort into running the game and if he isn't going to let you get high at the table and do outright stupid stuff for internal game consistency you should either live with it or leave.

>>49983636
In some settings, magic weapons can resize to their owner.

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>>49984025
>>49986130
Fight fire with fire, fetish with fetish. would never work for me though. Nothing I like that my GM doesn't also like.

What edition are you playing.

Because in 3.5 you just take a -2 for fighting for inappropriately sized weapon and the effort increases.

Example You can't use a large greatsword at all

You CAN fight with a large longsword.

The monkey grip feat means you still eat the penalty but can still treat a large greatsword like a greatsword otherwise.

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>>49988390
Except swinging a big, straight chunk of metal is very different than throwing a big object, which you can't grab a hold of correctly.

>tfw the caster is allowed to throw houses with telekinesis but you aren't allowed to lift a straight metal beam and hit someone with it
>tfw the caster is allowed to cast levitate and gust of wind to go over a river but you can't jump across it because you're a martial and fuck martials in the ass with a cactus right?

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>>49988490
If you wanted balance, you shouldn't have played 3.5.

>>49988490
Martials should suck, they're just jocks and dudes with sticks. If you don't want to suck, don't play a martial.

>>49988508
>>49988514
I don't play 3.5

Doesn't mean that I can't get pissed off when GMs think they are oh so fucking good when they actually suck big hairy nutsacks on a regular

>>49988490
It may irk you that magic characters behave differently than martial characters. It doesn't bother me. Mages were kept under control with limited spell selection and magic resistant monsters in my day. Sometimes they were downright ineffectual. In return fighters couldn't behave like anime characters and swing swords bigger than they were.

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>>49988508
>meme recipes

At least it's not "Tasty" which adds cheese to goddamn everything and always has about 5 too many ingredients.

>>49988514
Right because we all know how useless Gilgamesh was.

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>>49988558
Man, I fucking love Gilgamesh.

>>49988508
this makes mustard gas

>>49988558
Gilgamesh was dope, he was also 3/4s god, not a common sword-swinging human. A dude who's just good at using weapons and wears armor should logically be inferior to someone who summons meteors from the sky, can kill with a word and transport himself across the world in the blink of an eye.

I don't think martial should suck, though. I believe the solution is to make warriors who channel ki/mana/whatever into non-gish shit. I'm talking hammer strokes with the force of battering rams, chopping meteors in two, the strength to suplex a t-rex. I wouldn't recommend that anybody play Exalted, but I think it did a good job of making martial types interesting and relevant, letting you be as good at hitting things with your sword as a sorcerer is at bending reality.

>>49988978
Also Gilgamesh is just a badass fucking name.

>>49988978
He's 2/3 god. I remember that very distinctly from school because that fraction makes no sense and the teacher was not able to explain how that was possible.

>not a common sword-swinging human
Neither is a level 5+ fighter. That's the point.

>>49986212
Above average man can carry a log twice his size on his shoulder. Try imagining that man strong enough to carry that log with ease. Now add 10ft of metal on one end and a weight to the other. Now grab that log in one hand. Can't do? Now try to wield it like a normal two-handed sword. Not able to do that either? Now hug that tree and swing it around. It would be cumbersome, unwieldy and generally would just leave you open if the opponent isn't a brain dead slug. That's why you can't fight with weapons that are over sized even if you had the strength to carry them.

>>49988978
Merlin and Circe were half-demons and they get held up as Paragons of the Wizard class.

E A T S H I T
A
T
S
H
I
T

>>49988978
>>49989249

Not to mention Gandalf was a fucking angel.

The 'martial archetypes are demigods so pc's can't be like that is' argument is horseshit.

>>49983636
>sees cool shit
>asks GM for cool shit
>Gm says No
>Offers to pay for coolshit with exp and sub optimization
>GM still says No, no good answer

yeah you're not getting anywhere with that one

>>49989111
The culture he's from believed that more than one man could impregnate a woman simultaneously, basically.

The TL;DR is that Gilgamesh's mom boned more than one guy that night.

>>49989379
Oh. Thank you. That settles a long-standing problem for me.

>>49986193
>thinking that a human being can conjure a 40 foot wide fireball using nothing but a tiny ball of bat shit and sulfur along with some magic words and fancy gestures.

Wizards ass fuck logical reality all the time, let the fighters have their "rule of cool" stuff.

>>49989591
An awesome sword that shoots lightning is cool. Swinging a massive sword with a grip thicker than the fighter's thigh is just silly.

>>49986274
Bag of holding.

Just dedicate a single type 1 bag to the job of holding your sword when not in use so it is immediately retrievable.

Imagine the faces of the random thugs that come to rob a guy because he looks unarmed, only for him to reach into the sack at his waist and pull out a sword bigger than two of them on top of each other.

Fuckers would be turning to run before you finish drawing it from the bag.

>>49987671
>cougar
>it's almost a cheeta

>>49989642
That's an arbitrary distinction borne from your preconceptions of how things should be. It's no more ridiculous than any 1st-level spell, or the concept of magical healing.

You can grip a human thigh, can't you? Quite firmly, in fact? Then if you're a superhuman adventurer, you can swing a sword that size. Maybe not easily, but you can do it.

>>49989642
I remind you that wizards are carrying around balls of bat shit for their magic.

The silly is already baked in, and Berserk has the main character using a sword that is supposed to be like 500lbs.

Maybe you get the sword worked a little so the grip fits better, or you just work something out with your advanced sword fighting knowledge.

>>49988508
Is there a vegetarian variant?

>>49983636
That could be a homebrew feat.
>Your Strength score increases by 1.
>A Small creature with this feat ignores the Heavy characteristic on weapons and can wield Versatile weapons in one hand.
>A Medium creature with this feat can wield weapons made for Large creatures without penalty. A weapon made for a Large creature deals 1d6 extra damage compared to a Medium version of the same weapon when wielded by a Medium creature.
(since just carrying over the double damage thing would likely be a mite broken)

Though I think the core rules let you wield weapons meant for larger creatures with disadvantage as it is. I might be imagining that.

>>49989727
It depends on the setting and the DM. The DM is the final arbiter of what is and is not allowed. If he says no 500 pound sword and you don't like it, go find another DM. If the setting on the other hand allows stick-thin lolis to swing giant axes then you are set.

>>49989691
Cheetah are more like really tall, skinny dogs with cat heads
This is born out by the fact that they are very fast

>>49990228
i try to make jok

>>49988978
I always handwaved it away by saying that once you reach level 5+, you are instinctually tapping into ki/mana/whatever because level 5 is where you stop being a regular dude swinging a sword and start being a heroic warrior figure, same as the wizard stops being some chucklefuck who can sling around a molotov's worth of fire or put three goblins to sleep for ten seconds and starts being the heroic wizard figure.

Applies to other systems where caster supremacy is an issue as well, but let's be honest, this issue is mostly restricted to the D&D balance shitshow.

>>49988978
Beowulf then

How fucking big are your hands if they can grasp a giant's sword/bow/fuckstick?

>>49990609
Pretty big, thanks for asking.

>>49989379
Nowadays we could argue for chimerism. To save people from having to look that up, although it is very interesting, it's when an animal is made up of cells from different zygotes, that is, multiple egg cells growing together after each is fertilised. Apparently it's not that uncommon in twins.

There's a good chance your mother was a chimera and so were you. Cells originating from her own egg fertilised by your dad were shed inside her and continued to reproduce. Similarly, you could have had some cells that are genetically your mother's. They might even still be there once the child is an adult. This means women could be tri-generational chimeras of their own mothers and all their children.

>>49989953
For every ingredient that isn't a vegetable, place "vegetarian" in front of it.

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>>49990228
> Fast = dog, slow = cat

>>49989651
In 5e, if you have a giant magical sword you probably won't have a bag of holding since magical treasure is more scarce.

>>49991034
Have you seen a cheetahs paws? They're dogs. Also cheetahs are super skinny, not fucking ripped like Chad Cactuscock over there

>>49990001
Instead of +1d6 I would just add +2, and give a third benefit where the user can gain reach if he takes disadvantage in the attack, or some other utillity benefit based on using a big fucking sword.

>>49990285
By dumb luck your joke was kind of right. Cougars and cheetahs are actually more closely related to each other, and to domestic cats, than to other large cats.

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>>49991098
What's your point? Both cats and dogs have pretty similar paws anyway, and the cheetah still has retractable claws.

>>49991135
The cheetah has “semi non-retractable” claws (almost like dog claws) that work like the cleats on a football shoe to give the cheetah a lot of traction when running. The pads of most cats' paws are soft, but the cheetah's pads are hard kind of like the rubber on a tire.

>>49988978
Enkidu was just a normal human that happened to be a wildman and also a badass. And the crux of the story is that Enkidu is the only individual that ever equaled Gilgamesh.

>>49991078
if your DM hates fun. Magic items are fun.

>>49986212
>WESTERN FANTASY IS EQUIVALENT TO ANIME


Found the spectrum candidate

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>>49988508
>good cheese
>cheddar
my french sould just seppuku'd

>>49991188
Despite your digits, Mr. Trip-dub-dub, what you're looking at are nothing more than biological adaptations to their environment. For something that hunts on the open Savannah, there are only two ways to do so: you either hunt as part of a group(lions), or you hunt very, very quickly(cheetahs).

"Physically similar to," does not equate to, "being closer related to." Look at the hyena, for example; it looks like a big dog, but it's more closely related to cats.

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>>49989205
Now imagine a man who was preternaturally gifted with the mystic art of 'log swinging' as well as ALL weapons in general. And has practiced swinging that piece of crap as well as anything that might pass as a weapon until he can fight with an ease mortal men cannot hope to replicate. He's going to swing harder and be less open to counters than some Strongman.

This is your problem. You think 'strong man' when you should think 'one who may rival Achilles, Perseus, or Diomedes'.

>"I've been reading up on my 40k fluff. Anyone interested in playing dark heresy?"

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>>49991350
>retarded games aren't real games 'cause I find them retarded !

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>>49991098
>all biological classifications are made on basis of paw morphology

>>49991292
Fuck yeah. Fuck the treasure economy, the action economy is the real limit on players in 5e.

I hand out all sorts of treasure. Unique magic items customized for each character. The occasional overpowered random roll item. Potions galore, more potions than you'll ever drink, damnit. Magic items that are broke but you can fix by giving them to a time dragon and paying him treasure to "rewind". Magic items that let you catch magic rabbits so you can pull them out of your hat later.

At least when I'm running D&D. I actually prefer very grounded scifi on my own, but have a soft spot for running games in the post-fantasy loot-in-a-tornado-booth bonanza that is D&D.

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>>49991098
>cheetah paws are dogs

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>>49988558


Don't we all remember how King Arthur saved nobody?

>>49991098
Biological classifications are determined by phylogeny. The same reason bats aren't considered birds but birds are considered dinosuars.

If cheetahs have dog-like features, it's due to convergent evolution. They're descended from Smilodon; they are cats.

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>>49991467
>I like retarded games so that means they're not retarded

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>>49991730
Not him, but why would you go into a thread complaining about nofun allowed to complain about fun being allowed ?
That's /pol/ level retardation

>>49991730
>weredoyouthinkyouare.jpg

>>49991423
>quality of cheese is determined by the variety and not by the individual batch
Are the French really this bad at food?

>>49991832
Sperit?

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>>49991440
kek, you wrote digits in discussion about paws. Only you meant numbers not parts of foot. Is funny because not the same thing but looks and sounds the same.

>>49991949
They are that bad at everything.

>>49991963
... I honestly didn't even notice my own pun. I guess that's when you know you've mastered the art of punmanship? You make them without realizing you've done anything?

>>49991350
>Only anime has gaint swords.

Beowulf and the giant's sword he used to kill Grendel's Mother look at you with disdane

>>49988542
>In return fighters couldn't behave like anime characters and swing swords bigger than they were.
>what is weapon size categories

>>49991719
Yes I know but they look and act like dogs with cat heads
Also they are v. fast

>>49991832
>if it's fun for me it must be objectively good
>pls no bully

kys :^)

>>49992458
Ok chimp

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>>49992458
Yeah, we gotcha ESL-kun.

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>>49983636
I actually plan on letting a player wield a fuckhuge weapon from an enemy drop. Then again, I'm playing Mutants and Masterminds so fun is actually allowed in the system.

>>49992842
>muties and masterminds
>fun
kek, have fun with equipment being irrelevant at high levels

>>49992881
So... pretty much like comic books? Because if it's equipment, it's probably shit that is going to break anyway; as opposed to Devices.

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>>49992881
Jokes on you, it's a Device.

Specifically, a metal Macuahuitl the size of a truck with blades made out of several dozen hooked greatswords that can shoot out and extend from chains.

>>49989692
What. The. Fuck.

You cannot GRIP an adult human thigh. Grip refers to the ability to wrap your hand around it and use the muscles in your forearm to apply pressure/force, which you can then do something with (lift yourself up, move the tip of a sword around in an arc, open a car door). This is NOT what happens when you slap both of your hands on either side of an adult human thigh, use your TRICEPS to apply pressure to keep it from slipping, and pretend you can wield just as well as gripping a huge sword designed with a perfectly fitting HILT.

No, you cannot grip a human thigh quite firmly. Sperg pls go and stay go.

>>49993682
>That whole post
>Calls someone else a sperg

Not that guy, but dude.

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>>49986193
Implying guts wasn't a PC

>>49986212
Homonyms.

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>>49993682

>>49993682
How fa/tg/uy are you that you think adult thighs are impossible to grip...

>>49983636
I mean, that does sound dumb. Unless we're playing a superhero game you wouldn't be allowed to do that in one of our sessions either.

>>49993682
>writes something really autistic
>calls someone else a sperg

as expected of /tg/

>>49994209
The kind who has never touched a woman in his life gripping thighs and having your thighs gripped in return is a high holy pleasure

>>49989205
Imagine if there was some mystical material called "metal" that was lighter than wood, but just as strong and the weapon in question was made of a narrow band of this "metal" rather than 2ft in diameter. Would it be any easier?

>>49988390
>Not smoking and drinking while playing RPGs

It's a fantasy world taking place in our collective imaginations. The fuck wouldn't you get intoxicated?

>>49988542
Excuse me mother fucker using massive weapons does not hearken to just MUH ANIMU and is the worst fucking straw man people use because their fucked in the head.

Look at fucking Heracles. He uses a giant gnarled tree as his fucking club, easily a huge weapon, he is the size of a man. Yeah he's got some 30 odd STR but being like Heracles should be within the realm of a fighters power.

Fighters should be able to emulate things from weird fantasy novels of the past like Conan and as they get higher level they should move more into the almost demi-god like realm of figures of myth like Herc, Beowulf, Cu Culain, ect ect...

So don't pull that bull shit anime excuse. Learn your source material or GTFO.
D&D is not Arthurian Fantasy, if you want that Pendragon awaits. D&D is dungeon punk that calls back to Mythology and Weird Fantasy novels of old.

TLDR; FUCK YOU.

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>>49986193
>he doesn't even ultra greatsword
git gud casul

>>49989205
REKT FAGGOT

>>49990609
They are big
4u

>>49991350
Then there's this ignorant-ass faggot
>anything I don't like is anime
>waaah waah
>stop liking what I don't like
>waaaah
Please destroy your computer, tablet, phone or whatever device you can use to access the internet.

>>49994425
Qualitypost.txt

>>>/trash/

>>49986349
Well then you deserved it senpai

>>49989111
>two gods creampie some human girl, no balls touching
>their godly seed merges together in the womb, creating a single seed from both of them
>seed finds home in the woman, who gives birth to the biggest badass to grace the world

>>49989691
>At least it isn't a total pussy

>>49989953
Honestly?
Drop the meat. Add some kind of leaves with a bit of taste. Season properly. Serve with cooked mushrooms.

This meal is much better than the one they suggested.
Add bacon and serve it as a main, or serve it as a side with a steak or chicken for non-veggie needs.

>>49994861
The man moved rivers. Closer to 40-45.

>>49995613
What kind of leaves do people grill with? I've heard of bay leaves in soup but this is new to me.

>>49990907
This explains the whole of female familial interactions.

>>49995728
Banana's common.

>>49995710
Moving rivers seems like more a feat of speed and stamina to me.

>>49992976
I'm in a library anon, how am i supposed to explain these cum stains you made me do?

Giant swords are pretty retarded but then again people tend to like retarded things so it's all ok

>>49991228
Hold up, wasn't Enkidu specifically magic'd up by the gods to be a rivallign badass to Gilgamesh?

>>49996030
Well you dig the new channel faster if you have a bigger shovel.

>>49983636
>mfw they believe D&D weight charts
Oh, noes people following the rules instead of real life.
Did you also tell them that giants are not real and thus should exist in the setting?

>>49996401
>it doesn't matter if the weight chart doesn't make sense, we're playing RAW
>it doesn't matter how weapon wielding works RAW, we're going by what makes sense

>>49996509
Depending on the edition size categories are pretty limiting or leave it to DM fiat.

>>49991949
>quality of cheese is determined by the variety and not by the individual batch
Where did you get that from my post ? Seriously where ?
Here, I'll translate my post for you: since 90% of cheddar is shit, why would I assume the cheddar used is of high quality ? It's like assuming the mayonnaise you get from a street booth will be homemade

>>49988490
>Except swinging a big, straight chunk of metal is very different than throwing a big object, which you can't grab a hold of correctly.

As far as I'm reading he wasn't asking if he could swing it, he was asking if he could make attack rolls with it. That's different.

>>49991113
>By dumb luck your joke was kind of right. Cougars and cheetahs are actually more closely related to each other, and to domestic cats, than to other large cats.

He try make different jok

Go back and re-read the post he was responding to.

>>49990285
>i try to make jok

I got it anon : D

>>49994660

How fucking manhands is your woman that she can get a proper swinging-grip on your thigh?

How fucking manlet of size are you?

>>49997136
>90% of cheddar is shit

>This, from the country that considers snails and frogs high cuisine.

Someone get my longbow.

>>49997344
>longbow
okay, I chuckled

but
>frog
>high cuisine
no one will ever believe that. And that's from someone who enjoys them

For snails, it depends on how you do it. Can't really say if some chefs don't do extremely refined snails

>>49997395

French high cuisine can be amazing.

I ate at La Bouitte in Saint Martin once maybe a decade and a half ago. It was an experience and a half.

At least 3.5 gives you the option for monkey grip and a couple of other things.

Hate all the shade 3.5 gets because 'muh martials.'

Good DM will keep martials as relevant as casters any time.

> Good DM will keep martials as relevant as casters any time.
> Every monster after level 5 has antimagic shell and full prismatic resistance/immunity
You know how much of a faggot DM it takes to meta against the two classes that comprise over 2/3 of the rule book? FYI that's why casters are broken- because they have ten times the pages of abilities to cherrypick.

>>49983636
How big were these giants? That's the keyfactor. 10 meters tall, yeah, okay. it's a bit much if only becuase your hand won't wrap around the grip well, swinging it will be difficult and it'll keep getting caught on shit when you're in caves, castles, forests and dungeons.

But like, 15 feet? You're going to struggle to fit your hand around it. Maybe you could bore your fingers into the handle to swing better but that's going to fuck up your grips and fighting style and even then, it's not going to work well.

We can all argue about how its unfair that martials can't do shit and wizards can but there's a big difference btween using magic to lift up shit with your mind and using your fingers to fight with a 6 foot long sword with a hilt designed for a giant's hand size. Never mind the pommel would be the size of a soccerball or something.

It's just dumb. If you want a giant sword so much, request the DM to let you make one or something htat makes a bit more sense and don't just drag around a ridiculously huge sword. It's like Lilliputians trying to use a human's dagger as a claymore, it makes no sense. Worse then that, it lacks internal consistency because we can all assume that giant swords are made for giants and not people so the issues will be much greater then >Im strong so i can lift it

>>49997777
> Martial magic makes no sense
> Magic magic makes perfect sense
This shit is why martials remain 17th class citizens.

>>49988558
Achilles, Ajax, and Hector are better examples, mortals who in Ajax's case was able to fight Hector to a stand still without any aid from dieties. Indian epics are even more lulzy.

Actually kind of would like a setting with no magic but you can get innate bonuses for being a descendant of a god or being aided by a god.

>>49997808
It's not even marital magic. Your hand can't fit around the handle and you're taking it into dungeons, forests and caverns. It's not practical biomechanically and it's not practical storywise either.

Plus, 5th ed fixed a lot of "fighters can't do nuffin" problems anyway.

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>MFW all of these cucks complaining about martials wielding large sized weapons.
>MFW I'm using a large sized greatsword and CLANGING every enemy.

Feels good bringing anime into a non anime game.

>>49997838
> Applying realism to martial classes
> Doesn't apply realism to magic classes
There's nothing okay about this. Magic users have been the snowflake choice since forever.

>>49997906
This famalam.
I'd run a magic-less fantasy setting if I didn't think people would constantly bitch about not being able to do magic as if they were helpless puppies who couldn't use tools or basic reasoning to come to a conclusion.

>>49997532
3.PF is a game where if everyone isn't on the same page and doesn't understand the rules cover to cover, you're going to have a bad time.

It's the only system where I've seen this too, where the rules of the game change from one table to another based on the DM's own personal bias.

That and finding a good DM to run 3.PF is like trying to find a fucking unicorn since most of the good DM's moved on to better systems.

>>49997298
>not letting your giantess waifu grip you by the thigh and whirl you about her head as a foreplay ritual.

What are you, some kind of faggot?

>>49988781
Best post.

>>49997906
You can't apply realism to magical classes and just because fireballs explode from people's hands doesn't mean that suddenly the laws of physics don't apply to everyone.

If everyone's magical, no one is. You want classes to be mechanically different, you want them to do different things. If you're going to whine about how it's unfair that wizards can shoot lightning, you may as well whine about the fact that humans can't fly and dragons can.

Instead, go for better systems where wizards use things like curses, buffs or prophecy like they did in myths.

>>49998008
There's dozens of systems like that Anon. You're just too lazy to run them.

>>49983636
ITT: OP is butthurt he can't use giant weapons.

>>49997873
>2016 berserk meme
Get out.

>>49988490
>So butthurt about casters you miss his point entirely and assume he'll allow them to pull of the same bullshit.

>>49997421
One experience per decade isn't really all that great, man.

>>49993682
So you make a 5' 8" guy try and lift the refrigerator before you let his 6' 10" character with 22 STR lift a rock right?

>>49996509
>It's totally ok to wield with inhuman strength oversized weapons, but fuck those guys who don't play with a realistic weight system

>>49999078
>Its okay for you to get an extra 1d6 per weapon hit. The encounter ended already because the wizard blew it up.

>>49993682
> anon who never held an adult thigh before in his life
Hello wizard.

>>49998497
Mechanically different shouldn't mean one class is superior to other, though. If it's a fantasy game with magic then everybody should be let to be magical, in their own way.

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>>49991350
Got some bad news for you concerning giant swords and western fantasy...

>>49991949
Not so much bad as plain elitist.
Though we did inherit some of their memes from the revolution in that regard.

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>>49989651
SHEATH OF HOLDING

>>49990636
For you.

>>49983636
Using what you can find in the dungeon is a huge part of the fun for me. I would want the DM to have one giant leave behind a magic dagger for me to use, apparently as a two-handed sword.

>>49999981
I don't even like D&D and I'm still triggered by your childish mentality.

>>49984297
>Most magical equipment requires some kind of attunement.
On what planet?

>>50001248
>wanting caster/martial balance instead of casters getting a free ride to ignore realism while martials are gimped at every opportunity is childish

I mean only bad GMs go out of their way to fuck over martials instead of trying to keep things somewhat close to each other, but you get my point.

>>50001248
What's the point of having options in the game that are designed to fail after a certain point?

Why not take those shitty classes and put that time and effort into making classes worth a damn, especially when you have enough material to construct magical variants on non-magical classes since 3.PF has over 500+ spells for the average player to choose from?

>>49989691

YOU FUCKER

>>50001303
>What's the point of having options in the game that are designed to fail after a certain point?
I don't know, but D&D is not trying to be anything else either, so why not try some other game instead?

>>50001434
I'm just saying though, even in D&D proper (sans 3rd edition as a whole) martials still had a reason for their existence beyond being glorified meat shields until the mages learned how to defend themselves.

>I don't know, but D&D is not trying to be anything else either, so why not try some other game instead?

What exactly is that supposed to mean anon?

>>50001508
> Reason for their existence
Literally how? As a tier 7 conjuration minion? As a mage's buff soak?

>>49983636

"Hey can I use my old level 11 character? I know everyone else is starting out at 3 but lol as you said we could use whatever we want and do whatever. I'll just last longer than the other players in combat but other than that nothing'll be different."

"No. Absolutely not."

ok my dude

>>49997838
Marital magic is what I do to your mom.

>>50001508
>What exactly is that supposed to mean anon?
It means that rather than complaining about how D&D is not the game you want it to be, you might be better of finding a game that actually is what you want it to be.

>>50000000

>>50001597
I've already moved on to better games anon.

It's just the point of how stupid and wasteful it is to add options to the game that are designed with an expiration date when it's so easy to make every option worthwhile.

>Player of our group decides to run 5e for us so the DM gets a break
>Playing Dragonborn Barbarian, travel through a forest path is oddly micromanaged, like combat pace. Suspicious right away that NOTHING AT ALL could be lying in wait.
>SURPRISE ORCS FROM THE WOODS
>One has platemail
>Eat and give a beating in return, go to loot platemail off dead one because level one and I'm wearing a kilt
>Can't loot platemail, no reason given, just not part of the pre-established loot table.

Rest of the campaign was fine except for all the lazy players (DM on break aside). bu that always stuck with me as needlessly arbitrary.

>Why won't the DM make exceptions for whatever chaotic randumb bullshit I think up this week.
Because the DM wants to run a semi-serious campaign.

>>50001544
You're not even trying to be subtle chief.

Last (You) you'll get from me.

>>50001679
We were once playing Star Wars d20 with THAT GUY.

He threw a CR8 encounter (which he happily told us about right away) when we were three level 3 characters. We managed to overcome it by using Jedi powers on them and shit but every piece of equipment we could've gotten was arbitrarily crushed, burned, slashed, or "shot" to the point of being irreparably damaged even though the only reason we even damaged the equipment was because he would GM fiat it that way, like "you cut through his plasma rifle" or "you shatter their storm trooper armor into a million pieces."

It also didn't help that if you tried to buy fucking anything, he would treat it like a prostate exam being delivered from Edward Scizzorhands and would come up with arbitrary reasons for why you couldn't just buy basic equipment.

It was so bad, we were level 4 characters using level 1 loot.

I have the opposite problem, in Pathfinder. My character is a medium intelligent undead (transformation happened in-game) with the homebrew DnDWiki Monkey Grip feat (DM let me use it, we read it together and he's like "nah it's fine go for it") and now I have a huge bastard sword, 3d8 normally, but DM gave me a Belt of Thunderous Charging, which treats my weapon as one size category larger on a charge. So 4d8. I'm a Cavalier. I couldn't not one-shot people on a charge, but then a fucking Wytchfire critted me with a jet of fire while I was afflicted by her magic fire (increasing fire dmg taken by 50%) and I was destroyed

Kinda mad, kinda sad. I was gonna make him Skull Knight from Berserk, since the other 2 party members are Guts and Griffith, respectively.

Still wouldn't be able to beat a wizard at high levels, though.

>>50002036
>I couldn't not one-shot people on a charge
Best chargers were in 3.5, you could get full attack on charge (with at least two or three extra attacks with maximum attack bomus) and 3 or 4x power attack multiplyer without penalties to hit. And that's without magic items.

I'm going rogue-ranger for a sniper guy. Should I go fighter at all? Considering 1 level for close-range archery style, but 3 levels for disarming shot seems like it's a pretty snipery thing to do.

>>50002233
The fuck

>>50002302
>sniper
>close range
anon

>>50002823
most combat starts when enemies are within two turns of getting to you, you realize.

>>50002302
Rogue is kind of bad for snipers, or ranged character in general. The most reliable way of getting sneak attack is flanking.

>>50002838
>not scouting the area beforehand
>not pumping perception
>not pumping disguise for camouflage
>not actually having camouflage

I think you have misconceptions about snipers

>>50002895
>Stand 50 yards behind the party with a heavy crossbow
>Shoot, then hide, then move
>Repeat
They work pretty well. They're also the only real way to get that "single massive damage shot each turn" thing.

>>50002974
Can't sneak attack from 50 yards away. Not until high levels, anyway.

>>50003010
There's a feet that lets you sneak attack with crossbows from 60' away...

Found it: http://www.realmshelps.net/charbuild/feat/Crossbow_Sniper

>>50003031
60 feet is not 60 yards.

>>50002895
Flanking doesn't even do anything for you in 5e unless you dm allows some op houserule.

>>50002797
And you only need three splatbooks for this.

>>50003059
No, but the heavy crossbow guy probably mistyped when he wrote 60 yards.

>>50003061
Shouldn't it give you combat advantage?

>>50002895
Ghost step was always more reliable.

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>>50003010
>>50003031
>>50003061
You ignore long range disadvantage with the Sharpshooter feat, which obviously any sniper is going to get, That means you can use the full 400 ft range of a heavy crossbow, or even 600 of a longbow.
And Sneak Attack applies to any attack where you have advantage, or when you don't have disadvantage and an ally is within 5 ft of the target.
Or are you people not keeping up with the times?

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>>50002233
>He don't know bout ragelancepounce

>>50003295
> Sniping into a whirling melee
Wait wat?

>>50003504
And your plan is to join it and shoot them from a knife's range?

>>50003390
>requires a mount
Into the trash it goes.

>>50003571
In the real world, people don't shoot at their friends; they just stop shooting until they can get a clear shot.
Food for thought.

>>50003644
Thats not how dnd works, unless it's 3.5

>>49997298
She's small, but she's got a really, really firm grip.

>>50003623
>not being a centaur with Natural Jouster
Sad!

>>49996354
>Hold up, wasn't Enkidu specifically magic'd up by the gods to be a rivallign badass to Gilgamesh?
Hell yeah. Anyone who gets mad at the "villain/rival becomes friend" trope can go straight to hell, because that shit is gold. Vegeta, Sasuke, Hiei and particularly SHADOW THE FUCKING EDGEHOG are all his legacy.

>>49991228
>Enkidu
>normal human
Nigga, he was a non-sapient clump of mud that was animated by the Gods for the sole purspose of killing Gilgamesh. It wasn't until he fucked Shamhat for seven days and nights that even gained a humanoid form and human-like intelligence.

>>50004432
Enkidu = Pinocchio
Shamhat = Blue Fairy
Explains why his nose kept growing, didn't it?

>>49991350
Giant swords and shit originally came from Warhammer and Japan just adapted it.

>>50004452
You mean Beowulf, where he uses a Jotun's sword to kill Grendel's Mother.

>>49995728
Lettuce leaves can do well provided you can find them thick/sturdy enough.

>>49998040
With all the optional rules, houserules, vague rules that can be interpreted differently, and everything in between, yeah. It's a fucking nightmare.

>>50003644
Doesn't shooting into melee count as some type of cover?

>>49991634
grounded sci fi is fun and interesting though. grounded fantasy is neither.

>>49996354
yeah enkidu takes a dip in the good ol' magic river

>>49983636
Yeah, your GM is an idiot. You never tell a player they can't do something retarded. Letting them try and suffer all the annoyance and consequences is more satisfying for everyone.

>>49986212
Fantasy means is has elements which are fantastic. That is not the same as being unrealistic. Only trolls and idiots don't understand that difference.

>>50003644
Yes, but this isn't real life sniping, this is a fantasy rogue roughly emulating that archetype by shooting off an unrealistically large portable crossbow every 6 seconds.
And the Sharpshooter feat lets you ignore partial cover, so no worries about braining your friends.

>>49998497
>humans can't fly
>implying I'm not a wizard