Besides the most important rule,do you have any rules for your

>>49874211

>Anything I tell you, GM to players, out of characters, is absolutely true.

>Anything I describe to your characters, what they see, hear, smell, taste, touch, or detect through some supernal or technological sense, is true to the best of your character's knowledge. You can be tricked or fooled through illusions or mindwarping effects, but it is true to what your character sees.

>Anything an NPC tells you might or might not be true. My NPCs will lie to advance their agendas. They might also be mistaken about a great many things. Just because someone tells you something doesn't mean it's the case.

Don't be a dick

'no politics' has become pretry important this year.

>>49874211

Aside from the basic "don't be a shithead" rules you typically don't need to communicate to friends, I had one real rule: Your dice must be easy-to-read.

The only reason I even did that was because one of the players had those stupid "druid dice" which were green numbers carved into slightly darker green dice.

Though I did also have a temporary "don't talk about the fucking dress" rule because I was absolutely sick of that stupid dress meme going around at the time.

Give 24 hour notice if you're going to miss a session. You get ONE freebie, failure to do so a second time means I WILL replace you with someone else who wants to play.
(I've got 8 people who are interested and refuse to run parties any larger than 4.)

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>not playing with a group of relatively familiar people
>not being able to have fun

I feel so terrible for you guys

>>49874240
We often use politics in our games, and no one ever brings up real world politics.
>has become pretty important this year
Why, because you an americafat faggot whose country is going into the shitter?

I live in the EU, and nobody gives a shit about the politics of a country halfway across the world.

>>49874285
This, unless someone calls in sick.

But of course, we are friends, and we trust each other, so that is likely making it easier. Otherwise, you might get the occasional faggot calling in "sick" every fucking time.

>>49874268
We had a 'don't talk about the dress' rule as well.

But it was when one of our players started showing up in a dress and carrying a purse.

We really wanted to shit on him for it but he was a pretty good player so we just ignored it until he came back down to Earth.

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>>49874383

>But it was when one of our players started showing up in a dress and carrying a purse.
>him

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>>49874410
I'd fucking laugh my ass off and applaud him for getting into character (if playing a female character or bard.)

Right up until he starts trying to get laid by another PC, or even an NPC. Then we have a problem.

>>49874352
>Why, because you an americafat faggot whose country is going into the shitter?
Obviously.

>I live in the EU, and nobody gives a shit about the politics of a country halfway across the world.
Obviously.

>>49874211
>no memes
Only rule. Consequences involve verbal shaming, throwing of chips/dice/empty cans.

Memes include Monty Python references, any term coined by a bunch of black guys on vine or twitter, and references to in-group memes coined in previous campaigns.

This system works best because it still allows you to drop a really solid bomb if it's worth the harassment that follows.

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>>49874460

I think you should also include any kind of "modern" slang.

>dab
>bae
>lowkey
>hella

>>49874485

lowkey?

>>49874441
My problem was when it came time to order food and he kept insisting we go out to a restaurant so people could stare at him for a solid hour and a half.

Would it kill the dude to get pizza like we did every single week prior?

>>49874211
My rule is "No moba discussion", no exceptions.

>>49874352
Politics can cover a fuckton of things

>>49874352
If you really think the US election doesn't matter to you, you're a fucking retard.

>>49874485
>black guys on twitter

>>49874498

Sorry, I meant "low-key". It's some new thing. Basically the new version of "chill".

"yeah the place was super low-key"
"Nah that guy's low-key"

Like I know it's an actual term and it's used more or less correctly but it still feels annoying when used like this for some reason.

>>49874211
You roll your dice when I acknowledge your turn. Otherwise it doesn't count. Also you use the dice cup I provide, otherwise it doesn't count

>>49874540
You are absurdly out of touch. Low-key isn't new, and that's not at all what it means.

>>49874555
>You roll your dice when I acknowledge your turn. Otherwise it doesn't count.
Sounds like a pretty reasonable request, yeah.
>Also you use the dice cup I provide, otherwise it doesn't count
what the fuck is wrong with you?

>>49874211
Not strictly a rule, but I always have a session 0 for chargen, setting discussion, and to make sure everyone's expecting the same thing out of the campaign. There are some unspoken rules like "no discussion of anarchist theory during the session," but I've got a pretty good group and things usually go fine.

I implemented a new rule that if I don't see the roll, it either doesn't count, is an automatic failure, or is a natural 1, whichever is most inconvenient for you at the time.

>>49874648
>what the fuck is wrong with you?
To prevent cheaters, anon.
It's no different than everyone using the dice rolling tray.
>my rules
>We are here to game, so we do so. If you are not here to game, you are not welcome at my table.
>That includes guests, children, SOs of any sort, family members and various hanger ons. If you are interested in the game and want in, cool, if not, fuck off
>Drink is fine, smoke is limited to pipes and cigars when outside, all other additives are forbidden
>use the appropriate dice, they must be legible, and I must be able to see the roll
>If I want to see your character sheet, I get it, period
>If your pc dies, I get your sheet, no exceptions
>I attempt to exercise social decorum, I expect my players to do so as well
>That said, be able to take the piss every so often
>I maintain the right to the Five Minute GM Break when I need to figure shit out

>>49874352

>no really I don't care I'm only mad cuase I don't even care

Kek ok

>>49874285

You sound like a prissy bitch. Either that or you're just lying on an anonymous imageboard cause you think it sounds cool to be a prissy bitch for some reason.

t. DM without a stick up his ass

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>>49874795
>Words of a butthurt That Guy who can't find a good group and blames everyone else.

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If your character dies, you roll up a new character that is the same level as the lowest level surviving party member, but only with the experience points necessary to reach that level. This is to create some kind of penalty when dying but not something so harsh that you might as well quit playing.

If you just want to play a different character, you can 'retire' a character after the session and create a new one - using the same rules as creating a new character from death. Should you wish to take back your 'retired' character later on, the character you are playing now is removed and the character you retired returns at the same level of the lowest level surviving party member. They have the same gear you left them. This is to simulate that the retired character was still out doing something in the word - unless the player explicitly stated that they went home to become a family man or something along those lines.

If everyone wants to play in the same world but with different characters, then all the players roll up new level 1 characters.

The only problem with this rule is that I have yet to have a player character die. So I don't know how it would work in practice.

>>49874648
You probably won't believe me but, I met a guy who never failed a skill Check, missed an attack, or rolled poorly. After knowing him for 20 years I asked how it was, I saw him rolling the dice in front of me. He chuckled and explained that he spent time rolling dice on in different surfaces practicing how to manipulate his rolls. He said he could predict his rolls with 80% certainty but it seemed better than that. I was dumbfounded. This had to be bullshit. But he could do it with any dice we gave him. Easy.
Yeah he's an isolated case as only like 5 people on earth are this autistic but I just super paranoid about it now

>>49874768
Sounds reasonable.

>>49874211
Mine would be that physics-based arguments are automatically invalid. Nothing ever good comes of them, and they're always a venue for one player to try and protest the actions of the GM/other player in their favor.

>>49874813
You sure he didn't "cook" his dice? With plastic dice, you can put them in an oven and heat them just enough not to warp their shape noticeably but still make them heavy on one side and thus far more likely to land with that side at the bottom. It's where the term "cooked dice" comes from.

>>49874768
your sessions sound like they're as much fun as camping with the Hitler Jungen.

>YOU VILL PLAY ZE CHARACTER
>ZERE IS TO BE KEINE CHEATINK
>ZERE IS TO BE KEINE LAUGHTER
>IF YOU SHMOKE ZE NEGRO WEED, YOU VILL BE SHOT
>YOU VILL PLAY ZE CHARACTER UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD
>ZEN YOU VILL GIVE ME ZE SHIT UNT MAKE MIT ZE FUCKING OFF

>Any dice that roll off the table do not count and must be rerolled.

>>49874768
>>If your pc dies, I get your sheet, no exceptions
Why do you have this rule ?

>>49874833
Allow me to repeat:
He could do it with any dice we gave him.

Also I didn't say this part above:
He could get any number he wanted at any time.
Cooked dice don't do that

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>>49874806

lol you can believe that if you want but I literally just told you I'm a DM that looks down on you for being such a prissy bitch that you bring ultimatums to the table over something as simple as someone missing a couple sessions without "giving 24 hours notice" lol what are you a fucking dentist's office? If you can't talk to players and know when to remove someone on a case by case basis you must cycle through a lot fo people cause they dont want to show uo to your shit games

>>49874825
Why wouldn't it be reasonable?
I simply ask we game and have a good time gaming.
>>49874807
>This is to create some kind of penalty when dying
I don't get this.
Isn't losing a character concept you enjoyed playing "penalty" enough? To wit, why is character death need be hinged with a downside on top of it? I could see this being something is pc death was entirely based on the player doing something riotously stupid, but the dice occasionally say "Naw, man, fuck you", and you can do fuck all about it.
I had a fighter man in a game, he was up in front holding the line, as was his profession and duty, ate 3 crits in a row, went down, bled out. Should he be penalized for doing his part in battle, for the dice declaring the situation turned against him?
>seriously don't get it, man

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>>49874211
>No discussion of politics or religion during the game unless it pertains directly to the game
>No phones during the session unless it's an emergency
>No laptops or gaming devices, period
>Nobody leaves until the mess we made after playing is cleaned up
>You are not allowed to play if you have an infectious disease
>You are not allowed to play if you haven't showered that day
>The GM must see all notes passes by players

Pretty simple.

>>49874807
If you've got players who get into roleplaying, having their character die is penalty enough*. Giving the new character the same XP as the old character works, unless that character has significantly more/less XP than the rest of the party. If they do, I match their XP with the rest of the party.

If they want to retire a PC, that PC is out of the game and is never coming back.

*Especially since I expect them to make a different character next time.

>>49874874
Not even the guy you're replying to, but it's obvious you came here to shitpost about a hobby you don't even participate in. Because everything you say makes you sound like an extremely entitled asshole who thinks the person who's already gone out of their way to run a game for you should also cater to your complete lack of courtesy to even show up on time or give notice if you can't.

No, seriously, take a second and think about what you said, maybe realize how retarded you sound before posting again. Or keep baiting I guess, 2/10 got a reply ect. ect.

>>49874890
>Isn't losing a character concept you enjoyed playing "penalty" enough?
For a roleplayer it is.

For a rollplayer, maybe not.

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>>49874874

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>>49874460
>mfw I have an automatic reflex to say "For you." in a regards to anything described as "big"
I'd end every session covered in chips.

>>49874681
I do exactly the same. First session is a warmup to make everyone ready. There are only two rules at my table: I am the law and the law is always right - though I don't use it to fuck with the players but to solve situations not covered by the system.

>>49874352
It isn't just about the Trump and Hillary memes. How about someone works Brexit into your campaign?

>>49874229
>>Anything I tell you, GM to players, out of characters, is absolutely true.
>>Anything I describe to your characters, what they see, hear, smell, taste, touch, or detect through some supernal or technological sense, is true to the best of your character's knowledge. You can be tricked or fooled through illusions or mindwarping effects, but it is true to what your character sees.
The opposite of my last GM, he always went for the card of "le tricked you"

>>49874842
There is nothing wrong in shooting people for smoking nigger weed

>>49874211
> Banter will happen. If you can't deal, you can't play.
I'm british. Banter is a way of life.

> You pay for your own takeaways.
> If I share snacks, don't guzzle the lot. Leave some for everyone else
> Takeaway destinations are decided by consensus. Absolute veto rests with the person driving to get them.
> No smoking indoors. Take that shit outside, during designated breaks.

> If the GM says shut up, you shut up.
Too much talking means the GM can't think properly.

> No other games at the table.
> No phones.
> No phone calls, no selfies, no texting.
> NO PHONES.
The focus is on the game you are playing now. That I am running.

> You spill it, you clean it up.

> Character sheets must be backed up somewhere.

>>49874842
I dunno anon, it sounds like that'd be pretty fun. If only to watch how they interact with each other and the inevitable meltdown.

That and the over the top ZEE JARMAN! accent always makes me giggle.

>>49874842
Trying way too hard, mang.
>>49874860
>Why do you have this rule ?
Part of it is trophies.
But more often, I use those exact same characters as antagonists in some variety, or use them to pad out npcs in later games. For example, a long time player did not know that the npc cleric he was dealing with for spells was his old pc from a few years ago, and true to how he rp'd the cleric, he got the spells for a steep discount, ie free.
The player was dumbfounded that he was getting them for pennies, and simply received a knowing smile and a sagely "back when I was an adventurer" speech that referenced some of the things the player did.
>the dawning realization in his eyes

>>49875054

Isn't Brexit basically the plot behind Skyrim?

>>49875113
>>49874898
I've actually relaxed a bit on the phone issue, and allow for laptops, as I occasionally use mine to record notes on things that happen (my penmanship is awful, sometimes I can't read my own writing). That, and the prevalence of them is such that it is also a case of trust between players.
That said, I've come down on people for abusing it.
>notes
I can't agree on that, not anymore. My current group are the type that will actively coordinate plots with each other, and it only makes the game better when they throw me for a loop.
I don't WANT to know what they are about to throw at me, surprises are fun on both sides of the screen.

>>49875172
What, 'dragons are back and you're the only one that can stop them because you're the chosen one, so go into not-valhalla and defeat the big dragon'?

The Stormcloaks are much more the SNP.
Skyrim is for the Nords = Scotland is for the scottish!
And they'd both starve without empire/english money.

>>49874540
that's not what lowkey means, man. It means slightly, subtly or kind of. Like how all of your friends lowkey hate you

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>>49874942
>>49874922

>Not even the guy you're replying to
So what stake do you have in that reply chain that nobody else would be interested in but the prissybitch DM who makes ultimatums at the table?

>You don't even game
of all the things you could say to try to discredit me, what a dumb stab in the dark

Here's something within 3 feet of me in plain sight that proves otherwise. So anyway, what's unreasonable or retarded about thinking DMs with a chip on their shoulder are shit? Don't like DMs who want their dick sucked constantly nor ones who use it as an excuse to be faggy control freaks.

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> Rape and torture are things I'm not going to force on your character. There may be times when your character getting raped or tortured may make sense from a situational standpoint, but I will never say your character got raped or tortured, and I will not suggest or imply that it happened, either in character or out of character. That's up to you to decide.
> No crossplaying unless you ask me first.
> No Holy Grail quotes.
> If you can't make it to the session, let me know a day ahead of time, and send me your character sheet. If I don't have your character sheet, your character will behave and perform as well as I remember him or her doing, and I will not remember well.
> If you're absent, your character still shows up, and gets controlled by a random player. I will roleplay as the character. Be warned.
> Real life commitments (work, family emergencies, etc.) take precedence over game. That being said, if you make a habit of missing sessions due to prior commitments, it's better for you to focus on work.
> At the end of the session, we pick when we meet again. Bring your schedules.

>>49874211
>No resurrections.
Death should be serious, not an economic concern.

>XP Overhaul
All characters have the same level of XP. For basic D&D, I reworked it into a token-based system whereby every 10 XP tokens (awarded for quests, looting, and excellent RP) is equivalent to the XP required to level up a fighter.
One neat side-effect is that whenever someone gets bonus XP for excellent RP, everyone gets XP. The more munchinky players don't fuck with the RP players, because everyone is benefiting.

>NPC morale
NPCs have friends, families, and self-preservation instincts. All but the most driven will run away when significantly injured or when things go south.
I usually add a few more enemies to any conflict in order to compensate.

>>49875204
>Scotland is for the Scottish
Except that's not what Scottish independence is about at all, unlike Brexit.

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I'm
>>49875266


This >>49875337 is a reasonable list except don't really get the the crossplay thing, but I have never had an issue with it at my table so I'm sure you have your reasons. See, it is possible to have rules without being a fucking dickhead about it.

No magic cards present or discussed at RPG meetings

As a GM, I recently implemented a rule that I found mentioned off hand here. Pretty much, if someone puts the goblet on the table, you hold your witty ooc remarks and classic "thats what she said" jokes in your fucking head.
We love to have fun and joke around and whatnot, but too many times, when a character wants to really play out some back story, or the BBEG is on his last leg, this shit always happens:
>BBEG: Filthy subhumans shouldnt-
>super funny player: DATS RACIST.

>Mysterious women saves the party
>its turns out to be one of the players mother, whom the entire character is driven for and spent irl months looking for
>As soon as the mentioned player goes to open their mouth for some roleplay
>asshat player: HURR IM GONNA ROLL TO SEDUCE SO I CAN FUCK UR MOM

>player finally getting his moment to shine: Come evil one! I will fight you in single combat! My god will grant me the power to-
>comical genius player: heh your god let you trip down a flight of stairs fighting a spider 4 games ago. good luck.


So to curb that shit, there is some showy fake gem encrusted goblet I had laying around. If someone wants their fucking monolog, or to be heard, or to just have a moment without some new meme, you put the goblet on the table or hold it. means shut up for a minute. After appropriate amount of time, I take the goblet off and we can joke around again.

>>49874268
If you're gonna be making a list of rules for the GM maybe you should just GM.

>>49875266
>3rd edition

>>49874518
You people say that every election and four years later I find that the US election hasn't affected me a fucking bit. You guys aren't nearly as important as you seem to think you are.

>>49875671
Normally I'd agree with you but I have a feeling President Trump would have worldwide implications

>>49875652

Yes it might surprise you that people have been playing D&D since before edition wars were played out. I got them about 15 years ago you retard, I don't still play it. But I'm also not going to go burn the books.

>>49875150
>Trophies
Get out

>>49875748
Why keep it on your shelf senpai
My 3rd edition books are hidden away in a wardrobe

>>49875820

I'm just a slob with no organization. Also I do peek at them once in a while for nostalgia sake.

We have to use a "The DM makes your character for the first few times" when new people come to the group. I don't know what the fuck it is about my shit hole of a state, but god fucking damn it we have a epidemic of two things.

1. Fucking Furries fucking everwhere, and YES they want to play freaky shit every time

2. People who just want to play MEME the RPG.

>>49874229
First post best post

>>49875831
I just want them to stop throwing memes around and at least pretend like someone out there really wants either of them to be president, rather than choosing the lesser of two evils.

>>49874460
I'm so thankful my friends don't participate in internet culture. Sometimes I watch these online youtube games and the people playing just completely lack personality. All the jokes are just "THISMEME" or "POPCULTUREREFERENCE." It's not like our table jokes are amazing, but they're hilarious to us and organic. I just can't play with the guy wearing a game grumps shirt who's not great at roleplay but excels at memes.

>>49874211
>I'm thinking about implimenting a "No pop culture" rule to compliment my "no politics" rule.

I feel like that would not create the result you want it to. Instead of getting the players to stop making pop culture references (which, if they're mostly introverted nerds, they likely do as a social buffer to mask their awkwardness), it's probably just going to result in an ongoing game of "how stealthy can I make my pop culture references so the DM doesn't catch them?"

You gotta attack the root problem, not the symptoms.

>>49875893
We have something like that with my group. If you do a shitty joke like "That's what she said" it must actually be funny or you get to buy the next round of drinks.

>>49875929

This is more appropriate

>>49874768
>smoke is limited to pipes and cigars
Why?

1 anything you say at the table is in character unless you specify otherwise. I have a group that likes to fuck around a lot so this rule became very entertaining and encourages actual rp
2 resurrection is not an easy thing to come by nor guaranteed. When my whole party died last month we had to start a new campaign. Otherwise theres no penalty for fuckups, and players feel indestructible. Im not gonna mess with the immersion by saying "the orcs take you prisoner instead of killing you" so they can get rescued later.
3 combat experience is split among all members of the party (npcs too) but rp experience is not. My players too often want to make min/max combat based chars and forget about telling a story through the characters, so this keeps the party somewhat balanced and encourages acting in char. Also I tend to give them npcs to tag along if they want, but they lose xp for doing it (we've only got a 3 man group and I tend to go a little overboard on challenge rating sometimes

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>>49874352
>I live in the EU, and nobody gives a shit about the politics of a country halfway across the world.

This is pretty stupid to say "nobody gives a shit." You're totally welcome to not give a shit, hell maybe none of your friends give a shit either, but what you think doesn't magically apply to everyone on your fucking continent.

Speak for yourself, anon, but plenty of people outside the US give a shit. And yes, what the US does does affect places outside it, even if Trump or Clinton don't personally come up to you and slap you on the ass. We live in a globalized world as much as you'd like to fantasize that your country exists in a vacuum. Do you seriously think if Trump made good on his promise of disbanding NATO that it wouldn't affect EU politics? Or if Clinton starts a war with Russia and drags NATO into it that it wouldn't affect the EU? Or if America shits the bed economically again that it wouldn't affect the EU? Don't be naive.

>>49875964

Because he made all that up to look cool on an anonymous imageboard

>>49874460
>No Monty Python references
That's as lame as it gets

>>49874768
>smoke is limited to pipes and cigars when outside

You know I'm just gonna put rolling tobacco in my pipe pouch, Jim. The smoke ain't any worse than cigars, you just think cigs are trashy looking, fuck you.

>>49874768
*tips fedora*

Please don't text while we game.

I'm down for a short break every hour for texting, food, bathroom whatever.
By all means check a text to see if its urgent, but please be courteous. We all take time out of our schedule to do this.

>>49875150
>Part of it is trophies
Holy shit, you sounds like a 1/10 GM.

Can't imagine anyone having fun playing with you.

>>49875113
>NO PHONES

I do all rule checking and prepared spells through phone apps. Yes, you can look at my prepared spells and character sheet whenever you want. Get with the times, gramps.

>It is assumed that you do not get free snacks or food.
There have been very few, if not no, times where no one hasn't lent some money to someone who hasn't brought food money or snacks. If you don't have anything along, ask nicely and stick to what you get.
>Your character is your character, you are yourself. No one is a reference.
Self-inserts, ripoff characters and memesters have ruined infinitely more games for me than special snowflakes or magical realm. It's just that I've yet to see a special snowflake who's not annoying in one of the other ways.
>If you have any problems with people, themes, characters or actions at the table, please be a mature human being and just stop coming
There's no need to start shit and make things even worse. Cool your head, walk away and don't make a big deal out of it. If you don't like the things that are going on at the table, the rest of the group doesn't deserve to have their game interrupted for it.
>Put down that fucking phone
No exceptions.
>Come to roleplay, not to rollplay
This is simple. Create a character that is believable according to the rules of the setting, that can be convincingly roleplayed and that isn't a walking plothole or GM fiat. Then play that character seriously.
>No SJW politics at the table
SJWs have caused problems in my games three-four times. The rest of my group is an even mix between lefties and righties (spanning the gamut from Commie to Fascist), and this has caused problems all of zero times.
>Follow the mood
If the rest of the table is up for a stupid fucking romp, don't be a killjoy. If the rest of the table doesn't want a single OOC word without explicitly making a gesture and standing up so you don't disrupt the game, don't be a killjoy.

>>49875831
kek

>>49876007
They're great if you've been playing for a few weeks or months.
Gets old after several years.
And it's only ever Life of Brian and Holy Grail, too.

>>49876008
Like his fat ass could catch you smoking a stealth fag anyway
You could easy say you were going for a piss and smoke a 20 pack on the toilet

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>no politics
>no pop culture

1/10 would not play.

Seriously, how can this be a problem? Either your players are completely and utterly retarded, or you're literally autistic.

>>49875150
taking a dudes character sheet away from them is a dick move that shit has way more sentimental value to the player than any value it could have to you wanting a copy of it so you can base an npc off of them later is a pretty cool idea but its no excuse for spitefully taking something from someone who you are probably supposed to be friends with.

>>49876193
You won't be missed

>>49876116

This.

I get the idea of the no phones rule but phones aren't what they used to be, most of the time you see a person staring at their phone they're not texting, because you can access the fucking internet from those little shits now. You can do basically anything you could do with a laptop on your phone now.

>>49874240
>playing with SJW:s

It's like you want the opposite of fun at your table.

>>49876202
That doesn't exactly make it better.
Unless you're looking up a rule or some other character info, no phones.
Don't care if you're texting or reading Naruto x Sasuke fanfic, it's equally bad in my books.

>>49876218
>implying annoying politics talk only comes from the left
L O L
O
L

>>49876197
It also depends on the group.
In my group, to avoid overuse of characters and to acknowledge the loss of a PC so people don't feel ignored, a dead PC's sheet gets burned in a cooking pot out on the balcony while everyone sings along to the Imperial March. It was supposed to be the Funeral March, but four of us made the exact same mistake at the exact same time and it carried over.
In general, our group has a whole lot of sing-alongs, mainly Hey There Cthulhu and Beelzeboss.

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>>49874510
>My problem was when it came time to order food and he kept insisting we go out to a restaurant so people could stare at him for a solid hour and a half.
>Would it kill the dude to get pizza like we did every single week prior?

I would, no joke, have kicked him for being a faggot big enough to want to pull the rest of you into his faggotry, and enough of a faggot to want to start shit with the rest of you over it by trying to push you to do something you don't usually do.

He was practically baiting the rest of you to refuse, and then he'd start shit over it.

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No politics unless it's ingame politics
No memes
Set up campaign with many self contained adventures
Level 1 characters have a 1 session grace period from death unless they do something really retarded
Railroad just a little to get a group that started separated together, then let them decide if they want to stay together or do they're own thing.
Make a few fake rolls behind the screven every so often, to keep them on their toes.

>>49875054
>How about someone works Brexit into your campaign?

That actually sounds awesome.

>>49876234
>Unless you're looking up a rule or some other character info

That's a pretty important caveat to a rule like
>No phones
>NO PHONES

>>49875385
>Except that's not what Scottish independence is about at all, unlike Brexit.

No? Then what IS it about? I see it as a bunch of moronic racists throwing their toys out of the pram while refusing to accept that their economy relies on English taxpayer's money.

>>49875611
I hate that too. I may adopt the goblet idea.

>>49876434
Not that guy, but:
If you want to look up a rule, the rulebook, a cheat sheet or a printout should be on the table.
If there's nothing on the table, you ask the GM.
Phones just distract people, no matter their intent or resolve. There is nothing good to be gained from having them at the table, and only if the phone rings do you touch it.

Not a house rule, more of a question on how to deal with a insufferable faggot.

There's a guy at our shop that NO ONE will let into his game. He insists he's a great roleplayer, but if you even accidentally touch his dice he forcibly insists he needs a new pair as you've "worked the magic" out of them, and if you tell him he's fucking nuts he'll throw a fucking hissy.

Our group is open to people coming in, and he's throwing a hissy fit because we won't let him play with us again, and the store manager is starting to give us shit because we're "holding a double standard"

>>49876251
>implying that's what I was implying
L E L
E
L

>>49874229
You sound godly please dm for me

>>49875202
I alliw phones or laptops, but if I hear a "so what's going on/what happened?" from someone that was on a phone or laptop, I tell them they need to keep them packed away when gaming from now on.

They can be useful tools, but if you're fucking around on tinder or facebook when at the table, you lose your right to use it at my games.

>>49876434
Given that people will spend the entire time texting people and taking selfies with the message alert going off all the time, barely paying attention to the game?

If you need to check shit, have it ready. If you need to look up obscure rules mid-game, you're a dick for using them without knowledge.

>>49876202
>you can access the fucking internet from those little shits now
That's even worse, though. 'Stop browsing 4chan, we're gaming'.

>>49876202
>You can do basically anything you could do with a laptop on your phone now.
Except have multiple things on screen at the same time, type faster than a snail's pace, and not be tied to a battery life.

>>49876193
I'm glad you haven't had a game derailed by politics anon, really I am, but not all of us are as blessed as you are.

t.Had a game derailed for like 40 minutes as PCs argued about free healthcare on that weird verge between IC and OOC until DM got visibly upset and told everyone to take a break.

And pop culture references can be a major mood killer unless you've got a real good sense of humor.

>>49874211
I have two I guess
>don't be a dickbag
>sex scenes are describing them are discouraged

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>>49874599
>>49874540
>>49874485
when you low-key stupid af

>>49874302
This. GMing and playing are things I do with my friends. I honestly can't imagine having to play with people I don't actually know.

>>49876585
It can be fun and refreshing. Then again the group of "friends" I played with on a regular basis were nothing to write home about.

>>49875021
if you get covered in chips, will you die?

>>49876643
It would be extremely greasy.

>>49876434
Yeah I wasn't the original poster

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>>49876125
>Your character is your character, you are yourself. No one is a reference.
>Self-inserts, ripoff characters and memesters have ruined infinitely more games for me than special snowflakes or magical realm. It's just that I've yet to see a special snowflake who's not annoying in one of the other ways.
>If you have any problems with people, themes, characters or actions at the table, please be a mature human being and just stop coming
>There's no need to start shit and make things even worse. Cool your head, walk away and don't make a big deal out of it. If you don't like the things that are going on at the table, the rest of the group doesn't deserve to have their game interrupted for it.

These two actually makes it sound like the games you're running are a mix of magical realm, ERP:ing and autism. I'm not saying that that is what it is, or that the rules are necessarily bad, it's just that you make it sound like "if you're grossed out by vore and sexual advances played out in detail between players, please leave the table, I have no use for your plebian sensabilities!"

>No SJW politics at the table
>SJWs have caused problems in my games three-four times. The rest of my group is an even mix between lefties and righties (spanning the gamut from Commie to Fascist), and this has caused problems all of zero times.

As a national nationalist, I've played with homosexuals, conservatives, libertarians/minarchists, fascists, some anarchists, even communists, and we've even talked a lot about politics between sessions and so on, without ever really having a problem - the notable exception being SJW:s, goddamn.

Playing online, I literally had one at one time that started doing background checks on people, googling their names, and then threw a bitchfit that sent the game into flames.

Politics are not a problem. SJW:s, almost always largely ignorant of any actual ideologies or politics in general, are the problem. Never really had an issue with anyone else.

>>49876495
>merely pretending
K E K
E
K

>>49874460
Sure, but no Monty Python? That's like quintessential fantasy humor.

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>>49875611
Reminds me of the antlers rule. Whenever you want to speak out of character, you hold your hands up next to your head to give yourself antlers, so you will look ridiculous and appropriately OOC. I used to think this whole concept was hopelessly stupid, but I suppose it's not that different from ((ooc tags on play-by-post or play-by-chat games)).

>>49876463
I'm an English guy living in Glasgow and the only people who see the Yes movement as racist are English people who have never been to Scotland. Before the last referendum, the Yes voters I came into contact with saw it as a way for Scotland to make choices for itself without having to be ruled by whoever England chooses, especially considering the English electorate has a habit of voting for the worst possible option given half a chance. Right now Scottish independence is mostly about jumping the sinking ship that is the UK.

I didn't vote Yes last time because I'd only been living in Scotland for a year and didn't know how long I'd stay here, but if there was a referendum today I'd vote for independence in a heartbeat. The Leave campaign in England is far, far more racist than the Scottish independence movement ever will be.

>>49876495
>talks about SJWs
>not what you were implying
Fortunately, that's not an issue at my table.
I have a libertarian, a black nationalist, a devout Presbyterian, a feminist, and a hippy at my table.
We all know what we believe in, and we are all cool with each other, good friends even.

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>>49874890
>>49874910
It just feels wrong that the only consequence for dying is a narrative one - your new character would starts at the same power level as your previous character, maybe even with higher stats. If you know that your character living or dying has those metagaming stakes at hand - it makes the actual GAME of the RPG more enjoyable. It's pretty difficult to die as well in the system we're playing (5e). Just as well, it can foster a sense of achievement if you manage to keep a character alive thanks to player skill, and that character being a slightly more experienced one.

When a player who actually has a character they're invested in dies, maybe it will feel different. The more I type it out, the more it seems like specious reasoning. I told my players that this was the rule for chargen in the primer to the campaign, and though they all agreed to it - it may have not been something they seriously considered.

>If they want to retire a PC, that PC is out of the game and is never coming back.
I don't see a good reason for this position. It may end up making a lot of sense narrative-wise for that character to part ways with the rest of the group. Then, it could be pretty cool if they came back at some point or in a different party for a different campaign in the same setting. I think it gives the game a good sense of continuity.

>>49876710
We call it "Unicorning" in my group.

>>49876744
Well, you are free to run your game how you want.
I just never did, and still don't, understand that losing your character has to have some meta weight to it.

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>>49876486
There's really no way to deal with it, other than to explain the situation to the store manager. It's not a question of double standards, it's a question about standards, period.

The guy in question is clearly legit autistic. The term gets thrown around a lot, but it really sounds like there is a legitimate issue here, that something is, in a very real sense, wrong with him.

And the store manager needs to understand that, not give you shit over it. You can't play with a person like that, and there's a reason it's not just you, but NO ONE, that let's him into their games.

Sure, it's shitty for the autist, and I would honestly feel pretty bad, like I'm bullying him or something, and he has nowhere to go, but playing with that kind of person sounds like very real existential horror. Fuck that. Fuck that well and good with a motherfucking rake.

>>49876683
There's no magical realm in my games, and as such no ERP.
There is plenty of autism, however, as most of the group is composed of overgrown edgemasters who've realized how little space there is for them in mature society and how autismal their preferences in gaming are, and who've then clustered up to enjoy them together.
We play mainly oWoD - sometimes deep, atmospheric games with a lot of character building, and sometimes ramshackle off-the-rails rides towards certain death and dismemberment, speckled with gratuitous murder, violence and blasphemy.
It's mostly because we have our Neanderthal edgemaster bits and want to keep them. If you're shocked, it's not the game for you - we know we're retards and have no interest in being told so.
The thing about SJWs is that they're fighting an imaginary war against an imaginary oppressor victimizing an imaginary group of perfect martyrs, and while they do build their philosophies upon a want for genuine change, human society can only accept so much change at once before people start feeling controlled and gagged. SJWs are children of the social media generation, wanting to change something without actually applying effort or judgment, and as such set up a belief system that orbits around an imaginary baddie being valiantly fought against by an imaginary band of heroes that conveniently happen to be themselves.
If they learn anything about politics, they'll realize that they won't bring about change by getting angry at people and demanding free services and worship, and as such they shut themselves off from real information by imagining that the world is composed of only evil historical revisionists.
Are you Swedish, by any chance? We have it just as bad on the other side of the bridge.

I came up with a house rule I think is neat for handling player death: At any point while your character is in negative hit points, you can "bargain for your life". What this actually represents in-game is up to you, whether your character's literally bargaining with the gods or if they just had some heroic resolve left, whatever. The result is you lose one Constitution point and immediately stabilize. My game has Flaws, so you can also choose to take a Flaw at this point if you want to represent your character as having been crippled or disabled by the experience. This way, the party maintains its balance, the game retains its plot threads and dramatic cohesion, and players don't feel like they "lost" this collaborative storytelling game, and instead of having to build a new character which might take them the rest of the session, they can just recuperate somewhere or heal up with magic and get back to work. And yet it also follows the usual penalty for resurrection, if you want back, you come back slightly frailer.

You can bargain for your life once per day, and you get one bargain chance for every character level.

>>49876553
>I'm glad you haven't had a game derailed by politics anon, really I am, but not all of us are as blessed as you are.

I have, though, which is why I try to make sure that I don't play with 'tards, these days.

And I guess I could see how the pop culture references would get mood-killy if they're shitty. I play with people that are so removed from popular culture that I guess the really shitty stuff just don't make it, or if it does, when it comes up, it's at least not half as forced as I would imagine it to be when normie #5 starts making jokes about Game of Thrones and The Big Bang Theory.

>>49876806
What you said applies to every reactionary group that pretends one side is the "enemy", rather than pov of the individual.
At the game table, you aren't dealing with a political group, but a person, and if that person doesn't gel, that doesn't inform about the group, but that person. One of my players is a member of the Nation of Islam, suit, bow-tie, Final Call newspaper and all, but he doesn't bring his political leanings to the people at the table because he knows that's not the place for it, just like everyone else. Even then, when we hit the bar or hookah lounge together, we can speak of and debate our politics in a way that is still respectful and open to each other.
A person that forces the issue of their personal beliefs in a situation where it isn't called for is a shitlord, whatever their beliefs are.
>>49876953
Here is your (you), have a good day, anon.

>>49876806
>Are you Swedish?

Yeah, I'm Swedish, Scanian to be more precise, in the area near Helsingborg. Assuming you're Danish, I can tell you that by far the worst crash-and-burn I had (the one with the background checks and whatnot) was due to a Danish faggot. And by faggot I don't mean homosexual, I mean an honest-to-god massive cocksucking faggot that just wouldn't let up. It was fucking surreal.

Either way, colour me profoundly jelly, because your games sound awesome, as does your band of autists and retards.

>>49874229
I remember this! Some of the best GM advice I ever got here.

>>49877048
>What you said applies to every reactionary group that pretends one side is the "enemy", rather than pov of the individual.

Never had any issue with any other political group of people, though; not consistently and not because of politics per see, at least.

>>49876519
I'm the gramps insult post and I completely agree with this. Flipping through pages can take a minute. I try to be courteous by having quick access in two touches to any esoteric rule I need refreshed on. Keep my phone up on the table instead of hunching over like I'm embarrassed and hiding it or something.

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>>49874302
I don't know what you're on about: I hit the jackpot twice on Roll20

>>49877141
>Never had any issue with any other political group of people, though
And I have had issues with all of the above and more, but with those individuals. I know some atheists, and a few are fedora tier ones that I want nothing to do with.
Doesn't mean I tell every atheist who passed my table to gtfo, as they are a person first, and I assume basic social decorum from everyone at my game foremost until shown otherwise.
4chan itself is a great example of the echo chamber you speak of, but you still post here, as do I.

>>49877089
We're literally less than fifteen kilometers apart right now, then.
There are retards everywhere, and Danes are no exception. Over here, Swedes have a bad reputation in LARPing and at cons, but those people are all power-progressive SJW artfags and that's why they grate on us.
My next game is probably going to be tomorrow, about 300 meters from the Sound and even closer to Sweden, with a bunch of neckbeards and 14-year-old gore junkies in a youth club team that's been taken over by people north of the 20.

I tell you when to roll and what you are rolling. Don't walk into a room and roll investigation or just persuasion a npc.

No phones at the table. If you get a phone call that's fine but get it done with quickly.

If the result of a die roll would give you metagame information with non-immediate consequences (e.g. perception), I will roll it in secret. Everything else is rolled in the open.

D&D: No evil characters. Chaotic Neutral is a privilege. This rule helps to screen out that guys but it isn't 100% strict. My games are more about heroics
Be ready for your turn in combat or you lose it. Formulate and discard plans during other peoples' turns so you're ready for yours. 5e isn't that complex, if you're a spellcaster write down what your spells do, don't go into the rulebook on your turn that slows down the game.

>>49877302
>I tell you when to roll and what you are rolling.

That sounds like railroad hell.

>>49874352
>americafat

You can't even insult someone correctly.

You're a failure not only as a human being but also as a European.

>>49877355
You have an odd definition of railroading when it's clear that you simply need to say "I want to roll for X" and he says "Go ahead" or "you can't right now because X is currently happening".
Keeping the game organized means it runs smoother and keeps people from being left out or having to jockey for spotlight.

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>>49875611

>>49876551

Naw ur just a cunt

>>49876125

>making rules about sharing food and how to play

Your game sounds like a bunch of insufferable assholes

>>49877438
>I tell you when to roll and what your are rolling

That doesn't sound like you get the opportunity to say "I want to roll for X."

>>49877515
It sounds like you are reading as much cynicism as you can into the post.

>>49874352
My R20 group consists of two Swedes, a Jew, a Muslim, a UKIP-voting Brexiteer, and two center-right Trump voters.

"No politics" has become pretty damn important of late.

>Food at the table
Fuck no, keep your greasy, awful hands clean and we'll go out to eat afterwards.

>Phone at the table
Fuck you.

>Smells at the table
Leave the room to fart or burp. Use deodorant or don't come.

>Whining
Fuck you.

>Loner characters with dark backstories
Fuck you. Work as a team or I won't DM.

>Late to a session.
Fine.

>Girlfriend at a session.
Whatever.

>Arguing about rules.
Fuck right off.

Everything else is fine.

>>49877509
On the flipside, we're an extremely relaxed group that rarely goes off on rules lawyering and practically never fights. We accept newbies a lot, and we get along well with them.
The point of those rules is to make sure that we catch people who object to them, not that we want to hammer them in - because the people who object to things such as that you don't automatically get free food just because you show up or that you concentrate on the game with a character that you're actually roleplaying are the kind of wankers we don't want.

>>49877578

Fair enough. I have just always been fortunate enough to have RL friends to play with mostly and forget people actually let randos join them.

>>49877569
>>49877569

>Leave the room to burp

lol

>>49876283
You seem great.

>>49877355
>>49877438
Players tell me what they want to do.
If there's reasonable success/failure then I call for a roll. I want to encourage people telling me what they want to do instead of letting the rules get in the way of what they want to try. (If you've seen the arguments about how fighters can only use the attack action because they have no other method of interaction, that's an example of the stuff I want to avoid)

Handling the rules is my job as DM, the players are there to roleplay their characters and participate in the world and if that means someone wants to do something inventive that seems logical in the context of the game I don't want to stop them from trying.

>>49874211
My group is generally pretty good. In addition to the general "don't be a creepy filthy asshole" stuff, my rules are:

>Treat comedy games comedically, dramatic games seriously, and horrific scenarios appropriately. Don't make a serial rapist in a Toon game and don't make a kawaii-desu loli for Call of Cthulhu. I start every campaign with a session where we create characters and establish the tone we're going for, if you aren't on board after that you can make a new character or leave.

>Don't try to do a side-quest by yourself, nor should you have a long in-depth conversation with NPCs alone. These are group storytelling games, if you want a solo RPG experience go play a video game. This may sound harsh but I've experienced players trying to do this as both a player and a GM, and I am sick and tired of people hogging the spotlight and marginalizing the rest of the PCs.

>I don't have time to role-play between sessions via instant messaging. If you want to know more about a particular NPC I will send you a brief summary of what your character learns, or I will ask that you interact with them in the session proper.

>Give me constructive criticism after every session. Tell me what I'm doing wrong and what I need to do better. If there's something about the system you hate, tell me that as well. I will homebrew the shit out of things for you, and I will plan adventures and situations that fit your tastes and expectations. I can only do that if I get feedback, positive or negative.

>>49876125
>not having designated snack people for each session and chipping in for Pizza as a meal

Does everyone in your group just hate each other?

90% of these rules are bullshit that nobody ever seriously thought about until they saw the OP and then tried to write rules they thought /tg/ would suck their dick over and say "wow you're a great GM"

>>49876551
>laptop
>not tied to a battery life

You just dumb or you trolling?

>>49878154
Everyone brings snacks because they have their own preferences and their own financial situations.
Having people need to chip in for the collective would just create bitterness as the teenagers and unemployed people in the group have to pay the same amount as the people with a job or generous family members - and if you crank down what the poorfags have to pay, you create an obvious and visible gap.
Everyone brings what they like for themselves. Then, if someone doesn't have anything at all, they usually get a little bit from someone else, but they have to ask every time they take some, just so we don't get leeches.
Everyone also has different tastes in fast food - we have two guys who want burgers and two who always want pizza, and on top of that some people are picky.
It's more that we can do things this loosely because we're all IRL friends and are each neckbeardy enough that we can't just burn bridges by being assholes.
>>49878253
If you're playing at someone's house, you have an outlet. If you're playing at a library, you have an outlet. If you're playing in an autocamper, you have an outlet.
If you're sitting down inside, which you usually do, most places in the modern world have access to an outlet.

>>49874352
I have the same rule for one of my online games. I have an Israeli cousin (JEW JEW JEW JEW) and a Scot.
Anything about the middle east or Brexit set them off just as surely.

No politics isn't an RPG rule. This literally used to be common courtesy: you don't discuss politics or religion in polite company.

>>49874460
>>49876007
>>49876699
That's the thing. I first encountered that rule in the 7th Sea RPG book, where one of the major villain factions is the Inquisition.
Real hard to maintain an air of menace and threat for a villain who is, that very second literally torturing a PC when some neckbeard asshole gets set off to shout NO ONE EXPECTS THE CASTILLIAN INQUISITION for the 900th fucking time.

And, I mean, if you want a game of quipping and ineffectual villains like Joss Whedon is running your game, I guess you can do that, but that's something that must be decided ahead of time, not something the game slides into because someone can't stop cracking the same goddamn joke every few minutes.

>>49877672
Are you 12? Nobody wants to smell your rancid gut wind at the table

>>49878410
>not farting at the table
>not guffawing at it's awfulness, then getting back to the game

>>49875113
>No smoking indoors. Take that shit outside, during designated breaks.
My GM lets me buy tobacco of merchants, which he basically lets me use as smoke breaks while some of the party just fumble around doing shit

>>49878311
And are these magical laptop only outlets?

>>49878311
Everyone being irl friends is just more reason to me why a collective just makes sense. I don't mind spending eight or nine dollars for some chips for my friends once or twice a month and it seems a little ridiculous to me that anyone would.

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>>49874211
>Rape = no
>I don’t ERP, I fade to black.
>We are all here to enjoy ourselves, act like it.
>Your fun does not trump anyone else's.
>Respect everyone.
>We arrive at the scheduled time, relax and say hello for a few minutes and then start.
>If you do not show up to a game, your character goes on autopilot as an npc.
>Remember rule zero.
>The issue of food is to be addressed before the session.
>Disagreements are to be addressed after the session.
>If I was wrong in a ruling, I will make up for it next session.

>>49878486
>Not having to smell an autist's fermented Cheeto perfume at they table.

I'm not seeing a downside here.

>>49878644
Mate, some times 5-6 bucks is a lot of money. For about 3 years I would have to save up for a month to order a pizza for myself, or buy a case of beer.

Granted if I didn't put in for snacks or anything, I wouldn't take/ask for any. But the stigma of that guy runs deep to some of us who just want to have fun but are broke as a fucking joke.

>>49878410

You seem like a giant faggot. Do you get a 5 minute warning from your stomach every time you're about to burp or fart? Get the fuck over yourself you little bitch.

>>49874229
>Anything I describe to your characters, what they see, hear, smell, taste, touch, or detect through some supernal or technological sense, is true to the best of your character's knowledge. You can be tricked or fooled through illusions or mindwarping effects, but it is true to what your character sees.
Remember the vital corollary - anything you don't tell describe to them, they don't perceive. It's always frustrating to play 20 questions with a DM who doesn't want to tell you there's a dragon snoozing in the middle of the room, or finding out we missed a secret door by not checking behind the tapestries he never mentioned.

>>49875113
>no selfies at the table

This has happened?

>>49878713
>It takes me five whole minutes to leave the room

>>49878789

I would trivialize your viewpoint with green text too if I thought "I can't handle normal accidental bodily functions" wasn't gay enough.

>>49874211
The primary rule for my games is the rule of improv, don't say "no" to your players, say "yes and" or "yes but"

>>49879075
I agree with you in spirit, but sometimes you have to put your foot down and say "no, you can't cut open the jail bars with a plastic spoon." or "no, you can't play a character who's actively trying to kill the rest of the party."

It's just that you shouldn't give the same flat no to the slightly asshole rogue and the CE Kender.

>>49879179
This.
The spirit is nice, the reality is that sometimes you gotta say, "No, that isn't working out" for a variety of reasons.

>>49879179
Well your first example is handled by, "OK, roll for it". One of the greatest moments in one of my games was a player riding a speeder bike into the back of a flying shuttle storming the cockpit, and running the crew through with a vibrosword. I said, "Ok, now if you want to live make two very hard piloting checks" the entire table thought the dude was dead but I'll be damned if he didn't roll to triumphs and pull that thing up at the last second leaving grass stains on the bottom of the shuttle from the tree tops.

Then their was the time they tried to sell exploding Alderaan snow globes. Again I didn't tell them no, I sent them a lynch mob.

Yeah, my players are assholes, but that makes for AWESOME stories.

>>49876744

Players are less likely to take OOC risks if you impose penalties like this. I'll try to explain...

See, there's often a difference between what's optimal and what your character would do in any given situation, based on their experiences, agendas, and general outlook on life. It's not *optimal* to insist I enter a duel of honor with my family nemesis instead of just gank him in a dark alleyway with the entire party. However, it is not satisfying for the character to take an optimal solution like so.

Do you understand? Basically, by penalizing risk, you discourage certain degrees of roleplaying and encourage the game to be played as a tactical boardgame. That might be for you, I don't know, but I'd probably excuse myself from your group and find another.

>>49878703
Then you can be left out of the rotation, and we'd all just take pity on your shit situation and pay for you. I seriously don't get why a couple of bucks a month is a big deal between friends. Are my friends and i really the most saintly people ever?

>>49879473
Neither of the things you posted are things someone SHOULD say no to, however.
In DH, I was in the back of a burning car, gunning down mutants, one of them rammed me with another car.
The GM said the car explodes, already had the 3d10 damage dice in hand, and I had to make a dodge check, but I didn't have the bonus high enough to skate. So I did the only thing I could.
>I would like to jump into the cab of the ramming car
>Seriously, anon?
>Yes
>You need to make a -20 dodge check check to succeed
>So I need to roll a 20 or lower, in a percentile game?
>rest of the players start up with their silly superstitions, which include rubbing the dice on the picture of the Emperor on His Throne in the core book
>pick up dice
>look GM in the eye
>I only need the Emperor
>roll
>20
>table explodes into bedlam
>leap into the ramming car, bursting thru it's windshield
>soak the damage from the windshield
>car I was on explodes, dice say 23 damage
>between the armor bonus of being inside the car and my native armor, soak ALL the damage
>proceed to beat down the mutant in the car after a terse exchange with a knife and a shock maul
>take his car, run over the mutants the rest of the squad was fighting
>WASSUP NIGGAS?
>squad piles in, we roll over to the defending soldiers we just saved to cheers

>>49879640
Hell, I literally bought my friend dinner whenever we went out for years because he couldn't afford it. Now he likes to pay for my shit every now and then, because we're friends.

>>49879473
There is a definite difference between "should" be impossible but could be awesome and actually impossible unless an omnipotent chaos God chooses to step in and alter reality to allow a plastic spoon to cut metal for the luls.

I could play with either, but only if it's right for the game.

>>49874352
>Sweden
>Giving benefits to returning ISIS fighters
It's like you want /pol/ to come into this thread.

>>49875150

>Trophies

Get fucked, anon.

>>49879714
Nope.

>>49875831
>quasi-libertarian
>Trump
You're fucking retarded. I'm not a fan of Hillary Clinton, but if you think any of the things that Trump has proposed this year are at all close to being "libertarian", then you have a lot of self educating to do

>>49879733
He didn't mean literally.
We all know you won't litterally get fucked
By anyone
Ever

>>49876657
For you.

>>49874485
This. All of this. I don't give one fuck that hating these newly appropriated terms means I'm showing my age. (I'm 26). Fucking niggers, white trash, spics and gooks.

>>49879832
>you have a lot of self educating to do
So do you.
Specifically about knowing what it means when someone is making a comparative statement.

>>49879921
The issue isn't you comparing the two of them, it's that the starting point is invalidated.
Trump is a economically moderate authoritarian at best, he's no where near libertarian. If that's what you want fine, but caveat emptor and all that

>>49879967
Nevermind.
I have to go self educate myself on how to read.
I read it twice to make sure I wasn't mistaken, too.
Time to sleep and stop posting.

I'm not the original guy either.

>>49874211
I've actually never had to use those at my table. Gaming with close friends and family tho, and they always play nice, if shallow/casually.

Wish I was better to them tho, that's why I keep reading up on GMing and such. I'm slightly above mediocre I wager.

>>49875860
What shithole state do you live in, because over here in Illinois I can't step anywhere without hurting someone's feelings or setting someone off into a royal pissing match.

>>49882214
One of the fucking worst, and the whole thing is worse because you can't make enough money to save up to fucking move.

Louisiana.

>>49882387
Oh man, there's not many worse states than Illinois and you had the misfortune to be born in one, presumably. Shit, mate. That really sucks a load of dicks.

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>>49879692
i just googled it

holy shit you were actually serious

S W E D E N
W
E
D
E
N

Y E S
E
S

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>>49874229
This is extremely good advice

>>49875671
Essentially, murica owns the internet. A large part of it and both of the political leaders want to basically fuck up internet entirely. Everyone just forgets that because they are too busy watching them roast eachother.
Good tip to keep politics out of games though, sick of hearing about it.

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>>49874229
Great advice. /thread

>Unless we are doing a one shot give your character at least one long term goal.

>>49874460
>no monty python references

considering our friendship group is entirely built on bad puns and monty python references, I dont think this would fly in our group

>>49875337
>> If you're absent, your character still shows up, and gets controlled by a random player. I will roleplay as the character. Be warned.

We tried this in our group, and it was just easier to pretend that the absent members were off doing a side quest or sleeping or something. Then the character can come back without knowing what happened, allowing for roleplay to occur.

>>49874211
Has Kui Ryoko become a patron figure on /tg/ now? I'm very much ok with this but I've been seeing her work a lot more often outside the dungeon meshi threads.

>>49874813
Dude invested all of his points into Luck, fampai. Don't hate the player, hate the game

>>49874211
No drinks on the table without coasters.

>>49875150
>Trophies

Fuck you.

>>49879832

You're wrong but you seem like the kind of self important faggot that thinks his opinion is infallible. Enjoy your first year at college.

>>49884947
Not him but
> protectionist trade policies
>Libertarian
Ahahahahahaha

>>49874268
I have a friend who does that. I caught him, and then explained to him what Jack dice was and how he was a horrible person who should burn. He's been better since.

>>49875964
Because he is sargon

>>49877283
>My next game is probably going to be tomorrow, about 300 meters from the Sound and even closer to Sweden, with a bunch of neckbeards and 14-year-old gore junkies in a youth club team that's been taken over by people north of the 20.

Haha, by that metric, you must be around Helsingör somewhere, where I used to work. And yeah, I know that the Swedish scene is completely infested with SJW:s. The national Swedish youth organization for gaming/traditional gaming, Sverok, has even go so far as to say that if you're a Sweden-Democrat (lol) you're not allowed to represent or head a Sverok-supported club. I only really play online though.

So I know quite a bit of people that's left them. Tons of LARP:ing rejects, too. I've seen quality LARP:ing in my life, but not in Sweden. It's like a collection of social justice cringe.

I'm not from Helsingborg, though, just the general vicinity, and I refer to it because it's something most people know. I'm actually about 30 kilometres inward.

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>do you have any rules for your table when you DM?
I've tried, but every time I GM, the players treat it like they're doing me a favor by gracing me with their presence. When I'm lucky if I get past the third session, and have to hound players for over a month at a time just to get them to do the basics of their character sheets, it doesn't make much sense to bring the hammer down.

>>49884112
>We tried this in our group, and it was just easier to pretend that the absent members were off doing a side quest or sleeping or something. Then the character can come back without knowing what happened, allowing for roleplay to occur.

That assumes you're not in the middle of an adventure or something, though. In a lot of games I've played, a campaign is basically a continuous narrative, with little to no downtime.

I really wish it my GM:s would be better at timing downtime between sessions, but they're not, and I know that it can be really hard in some systems.

>>49876218
Notice how the post you replied to said nothing about SJWs.

>>49874211
> Use coasters for drinks

> Eat then game, not both at once

> Play your character, not the game.

> Make a character that has a reason to work with the party and advance the main goal before their own side goals

> Being a dick IC is fine, but don't botch about consequences

> Death can happen. We don't fudge rolls.

> Death only happens if it's massive trauma, or your party abandons you, or you pull about noble sacrifice. Otherwise injuries, scars, and periods of unconsciousness that would be medically concerning if true are the order of the day.

So if you gget knocked out of a fight, your party can finish it and save you, try to retreat and carry you off, or leave you to die. Or if you get blindsided or ambushed, you get knocked out and imprisoned or robbed or whatever.

Death is possible, but never arbitrary.

>>49875985
>tpks are okay
>I give combat experience
Eww

>>49874211

>5 players and DM is my limit
>4d6 drop lowest, assign as you wish
>I ask "Are you sure?" to rethink a choice that might obliterate the world or the campaign.
>I will reply to the question "Can I-?" or "May I-?" with "The possibility is up to you, but will you DO it?"
>Any out-of-game talk in the R.A.P.E. category (Religion, Abortion, Politics, Economy) will be shut down immediately.
>Additional triggers, wants, needs, etc. will be negotiated with before the campaign is set. It will be set once the entire group is at a consensus. I pitch with a bunch of blurbs to get started.

If there is a newbie in the group:
>No Evil, variants of Evil or Chaotic Neutral.
>Playing a spellcaster is not recommended, if you do want to play a spellcaster I would still not recommend a Druid.
>Only official books with playtested material.
>Backstories need to be 1 A4 page 12pt. font. They may be 5 lines off.

When everyone in the group is more experienced and I know the players, I let go of the newbie rules. I must know that they understand that Evil can still support the group for their own cause and their backstories still need to be written, but they can add more or less.

Additional rules:
>No dice the size of a fist, I hate the noise.
>I do not invite my girlfriend to the game unless I am absolutely 100% sure that she won't passive-aggressively screw things up.

Someone mentioned on /tg/ that only one or no people in the spectrum would be allowed at the table. If I did that then the quota would be achieved every time I play.

>>49884947
>you're wrong
>I won't tell you why because your brain probably isn't developed enough to withstand the white hot spurts of truth that my keyboard ejaculates into every post
Whatever you say m8

>>49874211
No dragonporn

>>49877565
>playing with 8 people

>>49886336
How dare you not see that the one Swede and the Muslim are the same New Swedish cultural enrichener from Somalia.

>>49884747
Are any of them bangable or are they ugly men in skirts?

>>49886349
>playing with 7 people

>>49886013
>>49884112
My first ever game was based on the Sandstorm book, and one of the hazards it brings up a fair amount is heat stroke. As a result, any time a player can't be present for their character (including when their connection craps out and they vanish from the channel) we declare the character came down with heat stroke and that's why they're gone.

>>49874890
>not just creating the same character

>>49886002
>it doesn't make much sense to bring the hammer down.
It might not seem that way, but look at it like this:
If you continue to run games by bending for them and chasing after them, things won't ever improve. Why would they?
But if you set hard rules, set consequences, stick by them, and generally stand up for yourself, either:
1. They will stop treating you like a powerless child that should be grateful for any players at all
Or
2. You will stop playing with players that treat you like that

Win-win.

You might be surprised how positively people respond to discipline, authority, and rules after they've been tested.

>>49876714
That's absolute nonsense, but it's what I expected from someone who supports the SNP.

>>49886372
>asking the important questions

>>49874211

No imitating the DM's monster cries and/or NPC accents. I'm okay with jokes about how terrible they are, but I have one player who would do that and only that for the rest of the session.
No mentionning those creepy roleplayers we knew who got off on pedophilia (especially if we're playing Little Fears).

NO LOOKING AT YOUR CELL PHONE.

Oh yeah, and one which gives pretty funny results sometimes :
If you've backpedaled about something stupid your character would be saying or doing (Like "I tell the captain of the guard he's an asshole - wait I'm not really doing that"), you throw 1d6. On a result of 6, your character actually did it on impulse.

>>49877565
>Trump
>Center-right
America has gone too far.

>>49887223
My group had a guy who would backpedal a lot of things using his character's voice. we decided to just make anything done in voice in character and it worked a treat

>>49887223
>If you've backpedaled about something stupid your character would be saying or doing (Like "I tell the captain of the guard he's an asshole - wait I'm not really doing that"), you throw 1d6. On a result of 6, your character actually did it on impulse.
Stealing this. My players have a bad habit of saying stupid shit (or saying that their character does something stupid), and just saying "Anything you say your character does" hasn't seemed to stick. If I make them roll a dice for it though, then I think that might work a little better.

>>49874211
> Having to set ground rules about what you are and aren't allowed to talk about at the table because your friends are all social rejects with no self control
I know your pain

>>49886108

That rule about only allowing 1 autist is actually a decent idea. The more autists there are in a room, the more arguments you'll have.

>>49874865
>metagaming the physics of a die-roll in order to win at tabletop games

that's why cups are fucking mandatory.

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>>49874352
>I don't care; have a long whiny post about how much I don't care

Of course you don't

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>>49879692
>>49883471
Holy fuck, my sides.

>>49887223
> imitating the DM's monster cries and/or NPC accents

Why do people do this? Are they trying to show off or something? If they want to make silly noises then get a Polymorph spell or be a GM yourself.

>>49887954
It's just that my accents are a bit pathetic (I managed to play a supposedly english NPC with an african accent, and most of my monster's battle cries are variations on "SKREEEE"), and this player is a bit childish so they like repeating funny things.

>>49887954
Some people just imitate things they find funny.
Still an obnoxious thing to do

>>49888140
>>49888197
Childish or childlike people would be right, but I've noticed that sometimes the ones who do this have some kind of mental disorder and get the impulse to do the same.

>>49874211
Nothing hard-coded or set in stone. Common sense dictates most of it.

I'm ten seconds from a "make sure you're well rested and have a wank/get some earlier on in the day" though. One of my players is half-dead all the time and the sexual frustration in the room is thick enough that it's started to manifest hallucinations.

>>49888220
It's a possibility. This player is a bit odd and just doesn't know when to stop.

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>>49887954
>finally agree to rejoin salty dnd group
>they want me to dm again. I only want to be a player now.
>every session contains complete ripoffs of characters (voice, mannerisms and even their job / skillsets) from the sessions I'd hosted before.
>think it was a coincidence for the first few. eventually they didn't even bother changing the names
mfw imitation goes too far

>>49874211
>"no politics" rule

I guess that depends on your interpretation of politics. I don't think players wanting to self-inject their orientation or gender identity or something similar into their characters necessarily falls under politics. As long as everybody can stick to the scope of the campaign without trying to derail into some kind of existential personal identity quest revolving around that one character, it's fine.

I generally don't build my campaigns around any political themes, unless those themes are very central to the setting. e.g. Something like overthrowing an unscrupulous merchant prince, or liberating a village from a horrible lich. That tends to veer into the realm of politics, just not real-world politics.

>>49874211

Oddly enough, there's no real rules in my group. We all know each other fairly well IRL, meaning that we know each others limits and how to get on with one another. That said, there's a few things that've cropped up over the years that would probably qualify.

>Really nasty stuff (child rape, torture, etc) often gets alluded to in crapsack settings, but won't become graphic. The one time we did torture, we rapidly concluded "never again".

>Don't mention what [specific player's name] did. He's done a number of particularly fucked up things in game, and prefers us not to bring them up.

>No PvP. We have never been able to run it without massive amounts of salt being generated.

>>49886098
Tpks aren't my responsibility to prevent. If the party makes multiple stupid choices, fails to use good strategy, pisses off their enemies (attempting to murder children), and then refuses to retreat against overmatched odds, yeah I would rather tpk than change the reality of the world they inhabit
In this case they went off hunting orc scalps for a bounty (a totally optional, non-story relevant sidequest), murdered a hunting party outside the encampment, sniped the archer sentries, and killed the ten orcs that ran out to kill them (in two waves, seven initially then three more). So far so good, they had killed 18 orcs no problem and weren't even badly hurt, including 1 "big guy," an orog.
Mind you, this is a party of three, a ranger, a bard and a paladin/warlock who has a greatsword that restores health on swing. I had barely damaged them at all at this point. They had a lull in combat and right then could have chosen to leave with their spoils, or to wait and bait out the warchief (who was donning armor for several minutes) but they decide to plow ahead into the encampment anyway. We'll call that mistake #1.

The paladin/lock sees some tents, a bonfire and a longhouse and decides to set the tents on fire, while the party spreads out and separates (mistakes 2 and 3).

Out of the tents come the female warriors, 10 of them, to defend the children. While the ranger and bard die, and the party marnages to take out all but three warriors, the chief an orog and an eye of gruumsh come out of the longhouse and finish off the paladin (who could have run at any time, mistake #4).
So no I cant really prevent tpks all the time. Whats wrong with giving combat xp when they kill something? Isn't that exactly how the rules work?

>>49889343
I forgot to mention they also refused to take any of 3 available same-level npcs with them because they didnt want to split xp and loot

Since I am Forever GM, I have rules based on where I'm GMing

>Online

Text usually, no voice (IRC, roll20, ect)
>Why: Every game I've played that used voice chat has turned into distractions, memes, and a lack of any kind of focus
Anything necessary for rolling(Money, stats) I need to witness
>Why: Obvious
Any rules you don't understand or have questions about, please, please, PLEASE ask me
>Why: Obvious
Know how the game works. See Previous
>Why: I've had players who wanted to play, showed up, and managed to roll a character up without understanding how combat worked at all.
Anything I don't say is off limits, isn't, unless you made it up, or someone not offical, made it up.
>Why: All the homebrew shit in a bunch of games.
Anything not standard, ask me.
>Why: Obvious
I reserve the right to kick you out of the game
>Why: Obvious. I don't use it often, but I've had a few times where I've had to kick someone out of a game for doing clearly blatant trolling things in game.

>Physical games

I reserve the right to kick you out of the game
No Laptops, tablets, ect
Don't use permanent marker on my Chessex mats. (Had this one happen too. Thankfully it wasn't my 8fter)
Bring dice.
If you don't bring dice, dice will be furnished for you, but I want them back.
If you don't give them back, you're out of my game until you do bring them back
If you lose your character sheet, you don't get to play(Also has happened, was told "I can go from memory, it's fine")
No smoking /at/ the table. Shit's hard to clean yo.
Anything I don't say is off limits, isn't, unless you made it up, or someone not offical, made it up.
Anything not standard, ask me.
Know how the game works. See Previous

>>49874211
If you smoke/vape in my house, your character suffers sudden existence failure and you're outta my house for fucking good.

A homebrewed(honestly underpowered) shapeshifter in my mostly psionic campaign wished for this, "I wish I had the ability to assume the form of a Phoenix".
Naturally I fuck him over and only give him the form, no flames, no resurrection, etc.

My question is: can he fly? Without magic fire changing air pressure, can this big thing fly?

Also this is FIRST edition, using the description in legends and lore, or gods/demigods.

>>49889386
The problem seems to be that they play WOW

>>49889343
>Whats wrong with giving combat xp when they kill something? Isn't that exactly how the rules work?
The rules actually don't say that killing something grants XP.

>>49889575
Well, does your setting have dragons? Can they fly?

>>49889606
The monster manual has the xp listed for every monster and npc in there. If you dont get that xp for killing them then Ive been dming wrong for about a decade. I could pore through the dm guide or phb for a quote but I'm on my phone. Is this the case?

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>Your character's backstory, as written on the character sheet, should consist of the following:
>Where they grew up, and/or with whom
>What they did before they started adventuring
>Why they stopped doing it and started adventuring

>Include each of these if and only if it is applicable and relevant. If you want to go into more detail than that, do it during the campaign.

>Broad personality descriptors like "optimistic" or "selfish" are okay, but don't give me a full psychoanalytical breakdown of your character complete with MBTI type, Enneagram number, BSRI scores and Kinsey scale rating. When it comes to personality, show, don't tell.

>>49876714
>people who see the Yes movement as racist
I'm not saying that the movement is racist.
I'm saying that the SNP are a bunch of racist fascist cunts.
The only good thing they did was kicking Labour out of scotland so we don't have to deal with their stalinist economics any more.

>>49876714
>if there was a referendum today
You had your choice.

>>49874890
Because it's a game inherently based on chance. People are going to die if they roll badly for a prolonged period.
That doesn't stop him being rewarded in other ways for the Heroic Last Stand, though. Maybe the party can carry his dead ass around until they can get Raise Dead cast, or carve a memorial to him somewhere, or have a statue made by casting Flesh To Stone on his corpse.

>>49879648
DH?

>>49878598
I'd still probably insist on spraying you down with febreeze after you've satisfied your addictions. The smell of stale cigarette smoke makes me feel sick.

>>49878600
So, you always carry a mains-USB charger around for your phone?

>>49878776
Yes.

And I work with someone who can't seem to go an hour without taking selfies of his brown ass, and know someone else who posted a bunch of selfies a day because she's that insecure and needs to be told she's pretty by her echo chamber of supportive semi-SJWs and beta males.
I fucking hate selfie culture, and will confiscate phones to stop it because you're obviously not paying attention if you're duck-pouting into a camera.

>>49879473
So, you taught your characters that doing awesome/idiotic things gives rewards in making the GM shake things up?

Personally, I give bonuses to action-movie stupidity with GM fudging. But then, my most fun games were back in the early 2000s edgy teenager phase when The Matrix Revolutions was the most awesome car chase ever, and action movies were shamelessly recreated in DnD.


>>49883806
>give your character at least one long term goal.
As a player, I do that anyway. As a GM, seeing players do that makes me squee.

>>49889489
Who the fuck just lights up a cig IN someone's home? I don't know anything about the new vape culture so maybe that's more prevalent.

>>49889908
I always give exp and gold after each encounter, allowing the party to level up if they're at the threshold the next time they take a long rest. Easier for me. The other DM in our group likes to add it all up and give everything in a big chunk after the whole dungeon or set of encounters is done. How we've done it for 10 years.

>>49876218

I don't play with any SJWs though?

The no politics rule pretty effectively filtered them out even before the current year. They never respected it, not even when the national political scene was placid.

>>49874352
Did baby already forget that the EU started falling apart earlier this year?

>>49886026
It's almost like certain ideologies have a reputation for ruining hobbies and gaming communities in this current year.

>>49889343
>encourages murderhobo behaviour and still has the gall to defend this choice
Whatever floates your group's boat I guess. I just can't watch as people are encourage to wipe out small villages and settlements because they are a few EXP short from levelling up.

>no women in the setting
because one of my players plays out his fantasies and tries to romance and fuck any girl that comes by.
He's kinda thatguyish, but other than that pretty good player

>>49893504
In... in the whole fucking setting? As in like, not just PCs - the whole fucking world?

That seems like a kind of extreme solution to the problem, anon.

>>49893651
i guess, but like we had once situation where whole party was trapped with a tribe in the canyon(long story short at the end of the canyon there was a fuckwad who used poisonous gas to trap em here).
So they go to the old patriarch, who was of course encircled by his numerous daughters and wives. What horny_pc does? Demands one of his daughters as a reward for "saving" them(to fuck and then sell at the nearest slave-shop).
They guy is very fatal-like, we had like three day argument about including rape in rpg(and he's also hurr durr you can't rape a guy kinda type), because he wants "gritty" and "realistic" setting where rape is common n shit.
My response to all that, nuking the women from entire setting and replacing them with boys or something, he's too straight for that.
Other than that, he's one of players who genuinely cares about the world/characters/roleplaying, so i can't just drop him, even though i should probably.

>>49884112
A qualified player controls your character if you're absent in my group
We also make fun of the character constantly, making them the butt of our jokes.

>>49893871
Well the answer's simple, isn't it?

Let him break into the king's harem and commit sex-crimes. But then have him be discovered in the act, arrested, and then made into a full eunuch (dick+balls removed) and forced to serve in the king's palace as a slave. Or otherwise severely punished.

IIRC under the Ottomans, seeing one of the king's women naked could get your eyes cut out. Just throwing that out there.

There are other examples and possibilities, and I could be here all day listing them. My point is this.

If he wants to play ball, play ball. He wants a gritty realistic setting full of rape and slavery, give him gritty and realistic, and all the punishments and danger and injury and terrible unspeakable fate that might entail. See if he's still having a fun time when he's cockless/blind/enslaved/dead.

>>49894129
*one of the sultan's women

whatever, you know what I meant.

>>49894129
well, he wants "gritty" and "realistic", but for whatever reason really enjoys my style of gm'ing.
Trashy, bit stupid, fluid, rambly stories, with mimics sneezing loudly in front of the PCs. I mean, could you run a campaign with no women in different style?
And i don't like gritty, i can't run it.

>>49874229
How to run an Amber campaign in a nutshell, right here.

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>>49894317
>Amber
Goddamnit, everytime I see people talk about this game I think of her...

>>49890884
Not him, sounds like dark heresy tho

>>49874485
I can see this if it'd be anachronistic, but what if the game itself takes place in the present? Can I say bae if my character is a Millenial?

>>49893504
This is my kind of setting.

>>49895523
That was the only game I found while I was looking on google but it didn't really sound like what I know of the 40k universe

>>49893651
I've seen that solution before.
There were a few videos of a gaming group that got posted a long while back.
One kid was so obsessed the GM had to eliminate all women.
That video was called "sex pocket"

But even that didn't help.
Another one had the party discover a tied up gnome in the road.
That guy's response?
>"Is it a woman? No? Well, I suppose I rape it anyway. Then, I guess we untie it and talk to it. Why doesn't it wanna talk?"

>>49874211
We where playing 3e and variants for awhile there, and I actually had a whole list of rules for working with the group before I decided it wasn't worth it to keep GM'ing for them. Like, I wanna remain friends with these people; it's probably just safer to stop then continue and make myself hate them.

Here's the rules I had typed up before I reached this conclusion:
1. No smoking at the table. No visible vapors of any kind, from any container, device or orifice
2. Respect each other's space at the table.
3. Players will be restricted to core books for character options.
I. Exceptions granted on per-item basis 1 full week in advance after GM review
II. Libris Mortis content is forever banned
III. No flaws. Feats are plentiful enough, and like alignments, are usually a roleplay crutch
4. Players should only be able to describe what their character is doing; do not "take the reigns of narrative" from other players (this applies to GM as well)
5. Players will be restricted to ?:?? minutes to determine their actions, or else be judged to be "paralyzed with indecision", and their turn skipped.
6. No phones or internet devices at the table (almost unenforcable)

>>49884420

I'm going to go with yes.

Not that I'm complaining. Would worldbuild with her.

Are people here talking about online RP?
Because that's not even playing RPG if you ask me

>>49900421
These words have been forgotten with age, but I'll say them once again.
Lurk moar, faggot.

>>49874211
I don't allow gamers at my table. Anybody who plays video games gets booted; I don't want that kind of poison in my games

>>49874768
>all this shit
>>49875150
>taking character sheets as trophies

You are why people prefer video games.

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>>49874898
>No laptops

are you serious

>>49897603
>No visible vapors of any kind, from any container, device or orifice
Bitch, I'll drink hot chocolate if I want to, steaming or not.
> Orifice
Are hipsters really that bad where you are?

>almost unenforcable
Switch off wi-fi, turn on cell signal jammer, hope the police don't swing by outside and wonder why their radios don't work.

>>49891181
It used to be more acceptable, back before smoking became socially unacceptable. Everyone smoked. Like chimneys.
Personally, I'm glad the ever-present smoker stink is gone, and that smokers are exiled out to the cold and rain. Vapists are going the same way, as people realise that while it's better than smoking, it's almost as bad.

>>49895617
>Can I say bae if my character is a Millenial?
Only if you accept being shot in the face with a nerf gun every time you say it.

I'm honestly tempted to enforce rules with a nerf gun. Anyone starts interrupting, CLAK and they get a dart to the upper body. Keep doing it, and I go for headshots.
It'd piss people off, though, so it'll have to stay a temptation. Those things fucking hurt.

>tfw never got a chance to prove myself as a dm

my only rules would be no memes and please try to limit sexuality

maybe if it were in my apartment I'd also say no smoking but that's more a general "my house" rule than anything. and I have a balcony anyway, and even then I usually let people smoke if it's just one person having a tasteful puff (as opposed to a collective smoke break for like 3-4 ppl or some shit)

>>49902493
>I'm honestly tempted to enforce rules with a nerf gun. Anyone starts interrupting, CLAK and they get a dart to the upper body. Keep doing it, and I go for headshots.

anon, even paranoia doesn't want you to go that far when encouraging player habits

>>49902542
As the GM of a group where me and a few other players smoke, it's best to take smoke breaks at once. That way, you avoid people running off in the middle of the game or having to take extra breaks - call a twenty-minute pause halfway through the game, and the smokers use five to ten minutes of that out on the balcony talking about the game or generally keeping their attention on the group.
Anyone who bitches about that can get a Word document filled with evidence of the American government's campaign against tobacco, the minimal effects of second-hand smoking and the general group beating mentality that society is taking on towards smokers because they've let themselves be whipped into a panic by "for the children" activists and US-backed "research groups".
If no one bitches, however, there isn't a need to complain - even smokers know that smoking inside makes shit stink, and that it's generally easier on the lungs to go outside when you smoke.

>>49902580
Well, I always figured that if you're gaming for more than like an hour, you should start taking breaks as a group to do whatever you need. Have a smoke, chug some water, indulge your magical realm on your phone in the bathroom, whatever.

>>49902592
The ideal setup if you have someone who's really impatient about their cigarette breaks is to have the table close to the balcony so the game can go on while they're smoking.
That's only happened to me with one raver who was probably smoking through an MDMA comedown (like a chimney, constantly) - in practice, smoking usually isn't disruptive at all.
Mostly, it's just someone asking if they can have a fag, then the GM asking if someone else needs a pause. If they do, it doubles as a smoke break, and if it doesn't, by far the most smokers are civil people and wait.
I really wonder if people here who complain about it have horror stories about it, or if they just generally think that smoking is "gross". It's not good for you, sure, but the stereotype of smokers as being loud and rude people who insist on stinking up everything with death-cancer-smoke simply doesn't exist in real life in my experience.

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>>49886108
>>Playing a spellcaster is not recommended, if you do want to play a spellcaster I would still not recommend a Druid.
As a newbie who was shoehorned into a cleric role, i thank you.

>>49902634
>I really wonder if people here who complain about it have horror stories about it, or if they just generally think that smoking is "gross". It's not good for you, sure, but the stereotype of smokers as being loud and rude people who insist on stinking up everything with death-cancer-smoke simply doesn't exist in real life in my experience.
that's not my concern, it's that my apartment is pretty small and the walls are all white

and they get gray/beige enough from just me touching light switches and shit, let alone regular smoking

I also just personally dislike the smell unless I've been drinking. I think it's because it reminds me of my shithead mother

>>49902580
You don't actually think smoking isn't bad for you, right? Right? Fuck.

>>49875671
I am German and the last election has affected me. But then again what's 1 or 2 million refugees among friends?

>>49875831
What?! You don't want to remove all borders on the northern hemisphere, EU-style? You fucking Nazi, you! :^)

>>49904667
Smoking is bad for you.
You're inhaling hot smoke.
I do not think there is a single smoker in the world who is not clinically retarded who doesn't know this.
What the US government has been fabricating is the negative effects of second-hand smoking and a lot of bogus and cherrypicked statistics on tobacco.
An experiment conducted back in the 60's, where people were allowed to smoke on airplanes, found that attendants were impacted by the equivalent of two cigarettes in a month of normal work hours. Smoking statistics are all calculated with life-long smokers, which distorts the statistics as smoking only starts to severely permanently harm the body at around 40 years old - 80%-90% of the damage caused by smoking heals within five years if you stop before your body's natural regeneration slows with age.
The claims about second-hand smoking being more dangerous than actual smoking is completely droolingly demented, and you would have to be clinically retarded to misunderstand physics that hard. Third-hand smoking is built on a principle that exists in real life, but needs things as strongly concentrated and poisonous as Scheele's green to actually become apparent (and even Scheele's green only starts releasing arsenic into the air when mold grows on it).
I could go on.
Smokers know perfectly well that smoking is bad for you, and know perfectly well through their own research, experience and acquaintances that the stuff that the media feeds you is 80% bullshit. They choose to do with their bodies as they want, and what stops them nowadays is a runaway war funding campaign from the Vietnam era (taxing a huge amount of the population and especially the hippies of the time).
Nowadays, the entire world rides along with the US propaganda because it gives great tax money, and the US still wants it to go on to avoid scandal, to increase the amount of finable crimes and to be able to funnel more people into private prisons for cigarette smuggling.

>>49874211
>If you have an OOC argument, you take it somewhere besides the table.
I can't stress enough to them that if they have a problem, they need to take that problem somewhere else. I'm not going to have them fucking up the game over what is, more often than not, an incredibly petty disagreement.

>If you have something to say that concerns an action in game or a concern you have, speak up.
We're all on equal footing. If the players want to do something in-game, they need to speak up. I don't like having to backtrack because they were too nervous to interject. The same goes for any concerns or clarification. I need my players to ask me.

>Don't bitch about unintentional magical realm
This sounds weird, but we had to bring this rule in after a player kept shouting that everything was magical realm when he didn't like it. Mind Control? "Hurr durr, DM is just putting in his shitty magical realm." Stuff like that. We eventually threw the guy out and made it a rule that if something that is happening might be magical realm, don't bitch about it unless it's really getting under your skin. We're adults, we've all fucked before and seen kinky weird shit on the internet.

>>49904835
It's bait, mate. No one can seriously be that stupid.

>>49874813
if you had this talent why would you be fucking playing tabletop games instead of playing craps?

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>>49904667
Hey hey hey
Smoke weed every day

>>49904835

>All of this scientific evidence are cherrypicked by anti-smokers with a political agenda
>All this evidence on the other hand is not cherrypicked by tobacco companies with an agenda to keep people smoking
>and by the way anti-smoking is just wartime hysteria because of a secret government conspiracy to get more tax bux

ok

>>49904880
I have met plenty of people who seriously believe that smokers do not believe, know or think that smoking is bad for you in the least. I'd like to believe in what you're saying, but the witch hunt against smoking in society has gone amok to the point where it's become wholly unscientific and completely ideological.
People think smoking is bad because smoking is bad because smoking is bad - there's not even the slightest attempt at explaining, because if you do, you'll be seen as supporting smoking, whatever's wrong with that.
Smokers are caricatured in media as ignorant, hubristic, rude, tactless, gratuitously cruel and finally getting their comeuppance through a plot device every time.
Anti-smoking campaigns have to resort to cheap images like parents forcing their babies to smoke or pictures of throats opened surgically for operation to scare people into not smoking (and both of those are on the packages that I smoke - if you want to go Google, I smoke Cecil reds).
People can be unbelievably stupid when they're convinced that something is "just bad" or "just wrong".

>>49904947
Except tobacco companies are getting shafted like you would not fucking believe. Their governmental contacts and positive coverage have been falling apart over the last ten years, and even their advertising is generally forbidden. They've cut countless brands and flavors because of anti-smoking legislation down to as petty things as "menthol cigarettes will make children smoke", tobacco companies have fused because of financial dire straits and the whole populace is against them. The US government has already cut and run - Big Tobacco is no more as an entity.
Not to mention that one of the bigger organizations against anti-smoking propaganda, FORCES, was founded by a US-sponsored smoking "researcher" who got fed up with the operating policy and decided to speak out.
I like how you believe that a government agenda is completely far out and fried, while a secret conspiracy involving a beleaguered industry attacked from all sides including that of the government which supposedly helps them isn't weird at all.

>>49875671
Is that why people around the world have so many opinions on the 2000, 2004, 2008, 2012 and 2016 elections?

why are americans so obsessed and anal with planning what food to eat lol?

can any other englishmen confirm that this is a fat american thing specifically

>>49876182
I managed to introduce my group to the Flying Circus recently.

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>>49889343

>if they just took this specific course of action I saw in my head they would have been fine

-every shit DM ever

The precipice is always on the DM to make the danger clear, especially when it's a quest you gave them. "10 female orcs" shouldn't be a TPK necessarily so the fact that you didn't really stop them from doing this puts the blame on you. I already know you're going to get defensive and then go on some diatribe about how you let the dice fall where they may etc. cause you have an overinflated sense of importance for being the DM of some generic ass game (probably set in 3.pf)

Get over yourself and worry more about your players having fun than some misguided sense of "realistic danger" seeing as you obviously have no idea how to build challenging encounters without shitting the bed.

>>49905602
not that anon but

>expecting basic common sense and having the possibility of PC death in your game makes you a shit DM

really?

>>49874211
If you have to set up rules then you're in the wrong group or are a shitty person.

They should be your friends. Don't run it like a classroom you bint.

>>49905643

It's only common sense to him because he created the whole scenario in his head and had speciifc things he expected his players to kmow without telling them. (the warchief putting on his armor, there being a warcheif in the first place) just really dumb.

>>49905923
An armed warchief? In an orcish encampment?! Wow you're right, that really is unfair!

How could the players have possibly foreseen that there would be a warleader or that any of the orcs in the encampment would be armed? He should've had it be nothing but babies and blind cripples in the entire encampment, now that would've been plenty fair! What a shit DM for not doing that!

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1. Roll your dice where everyone can see them
2. Don't be a dick
3. Everybody has fun

>>49904908
You're less likely to end up in jail or get your kneecaps broken than if you were judging rolls at a casino.

>>49906569
What do you do if people in your group have different ideas of fun?

>>49907483
>different ideas of fun
There is only one Fun.