>Anon you play DnD, run a game for us >Anon why does this

>Trying to do anything cool with Normies
>Ever

In all honesty though, you should probably have explained to them that the GM's role is to provide an antagonist and arbitrate your battles against them; not shower you with candyboys and free bellyrubs.

Really m8s the job of the gm is to enable the players to have fun, or some sort of enjoyment/satisfaction/catharsis/positive emotion at the end of the day.

If what you do doesn't work, (meaning, it doesn't enable fun,) then you've got to do something different.

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>>49837977
>>Anon why does this take five hours a day?
Wait what. I've only played PnP games a little but, most sessions only last 2 to 3 hours. I would love to go longer.

>>Anon I just want to kill people
Dungeon crawls can be okay but...

>>Anon why are you arresting our characters
Do they go around murdering innocents? Actually wait why do people decide "LOL I ATTACK THE SHOP KEEPER" or "HURR I STAB THAT PEASANT!!!"
"HAHA TAKE THIS KNIFE TO THE EYE, FARMER!!!"

>>49837977
Your fault for not discussing the type of game they wanted before starting. Not theirs for wanting a straightforward dungeon crawl.

>>49837977
Why are you friends with absolute retards?

>>49837977
Let's get one thing straight: Normies can surprise you.

Nobody here will deny that there are diamonds in the rough in the normie population. I can guarantee that 1 in every 10 male normies you know has at one point or another played a tabletop or thought about sitting in on a session but didn't know who to talk to about it. Some of the Chadliest Chads I've ever known have sperged hard in public on more than one occasion about games they had back in high school.

But let's also be clear, if you're bringing a first time player or a normie into the hobby, you're bringing A normie or A new player in. Not a whole group. They'll have no concept of how to function, even the greasiest and fattest of them. Maybe even less so the greasy and fat guys because they're already shit with social interaction.

I've invited a few normal friends to play and they had a blast, because they were a guest among experienced and competent players who could move the plot along and keep the game going when they would have otherwise had to stare at me and ask "what do we do now?"

>>49838173
Sorry I would have responded earlier my power went out, yeah they just go around stabbing shit and its starting to get on my nerves. I asked if they wanted to do a game where they could be evil and they said no. Since we all have the day off we take a half hour break in the middle, keeps people more creative.

>>49838123
I've tried pushing it to a campaign like that, but they just kill whoever they want and always abide by what guards or a local militia says.

>>49838185
See above

>>49838250
If I knew would I be here?

>>49838279
>they just kill whoever they want and always abide by what guards or a local militia says.
This makes little sense to me.

Talk to them and ask what each one wants to do short term and long term, then do all of that at once.
Present them with a treasure hunt that involve minimal stabbing and no innocents and see how they fare.
Let them kill assholes and save alive children.
If they kill slave children, that's another issue.

If you play the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, players might choose Bad or Ugly.

>>49838173
>most sessions only last 2 to 3 hours.

Why run sessions shorter than 4 hours? What the fuck? How do you get anything done? Did you play every day or something?

Because if so, that'd be awesome.

>>49838271
>I can guarantee that 1 in every 10 male normies you know has at one point or another played a tabletop or thought about sitting in on a session but didn't know who to talk to about it.

I can lay claim to no normiehood, but I can say that I really wanted to play for many years (including all of high school) but had no-one to play with, and no idea who to talk to.

The internet eventually rescued me and then Roll20 came and now everything is awesome. But before then, I had a deep fucking love for Warhammer, Forgotten Realms and various hardcore CRPG:s, and always wanted to play a proper PnP.

Funny thing is, I still never had a game in real life, and I still have never played D&D of any kind. But I'm deep in the rabbit hole, now.

>>49838185
>Your fault for not discussing the type of game they wanted before starting.

Players have no fucking clue what they want. Half of them will say sandbox, and if you put in the effort, they'll just feel like there's nothing to do, make no plans, grow bored and do random shit that they tire of quickly.

>>49838173
>Actually wait why do people

Because they're retarded. I haven't really had anything like that in my games, though. I've had stupid shit (HURR DURR CAN WE SELL THE NIGHT GOBLIN AS A RAPESLAVE TO A NOBLE?!) but not random stabbing shit, at least not for real.

But then again, if they had, the players would've had a hard-ass hammer come down on them.

>>49839795
I do three hour sessions personally, just so I can get a session ready every week. If I go longer, I have to ad-lib and I have some players (1) that loves to heckle me and she's my ex, so I can't tell her to stop, because then I'm "manipulating her" and GRAH 3 hour sessions weekly that's it and everyone's happy.

Anyway, OP you clearly need to have a chat with your players about what campaigns you like to run (DMing is a hard job and it takes a lot of time and you shouldn't do it when you can't run a style of campaign you enjoy) and see if you can realign your expectations with their expectations and have a good time. Otherwise, just sod it, you know.

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>>49839876
>I have to ad-lib and I have some players (1) that loves to heckle me and she's my ex, so I can't tell her to stop, because then I'm "manipulating her"

The fact that you are willing to put up with this shit makes me genuinely sad. Not for my own sake, but for your sake, and the sake of humanity.

For fucks sake, anon.

>>49838279
>I asked if they wanted to do a game where they could be evil and they said no.

This is your problem: you're trying to get them to fit your framework of what a game should be. They don't want to be 'evil', they want to be good guys who do dumb stuff and kill whoever they want; ie: every new party everywhere

Ask them what they want out of the game and just give it to them on a platter. Stop thinking 'they need to be RPing' or 'what they're doing is *bad* according to My Rules'.

Stop trying to tie them down with shit they don't care about, and just feed them what they want. If they want to slaughter stuff, give them stuff to slaughter. If they want to be heroes while doing it, let them be heroes.

Invade the town with demons and children they need rescuing and let them go to town.

>>49838123
Yes and no, the DM facilitates, this is true, but the DM is a person too you know. It goes both ways.

>>49840261
Nigga, the OP is here to have fun running an RPG.

He isn't here to run a four hour long day care of catering to the every whim of players who don't give a shit.

My advice is to drop these guys like a hot potato.

>>49840261
The GM isn't a computer and has to have fun too.

>>49840261
>>49840334
>>49840605

>>49840332
>Yes and no, the DM facilitates, this is true, but the DM is a person too you know. It goes both ways.
This.

In my opinion, a good GM can feed the players what they want while running what they want, unless they are mutually exclusive goals, like if the GM wants political intrigue a light-hearted fantasy setting and the players want a gritty slaughterfest dungeon crawl.
That's why you talk about it, so you all know your expectations of where you're going.

The one thing the GM should not involve in their expectations is what the PCs actually do.
Whether the PCs are thoughtfully managing resources, introspectively playing roles, or heartlessly pursuing objectives, shit you didn't want stabbed is gonna get stabbed real good.

>>49838173
Ive never understood why people do that even in single player vidja.
I've never killed an Elder Scrolls NPC who wasn't part of some questions, but apparently everyone turns Nazeem into cloud district walking boots and gains a wanted level in every hold by level three.

But then I'm the sad sort who will drive around in GTA, taking in the scenery as I stop at intersections.

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>>49841017
>But then I'm the sad sort who will drive around in GTA, taking in the scenery as I stop at intersections.

>>49841017
>But then I'm the sad sort who will drive around in GTA, taking in the scenery as I stop at intersections.
My first time playing GTA, I challenged myself to go as long as possible without breaking so much as a traffic law.
I gave up after a pedestrian threw himself in front of my car and I killed him.

>>49838173

>Wait what. I've only played PnP games a little but, most sessions only last 2 to 3 hours. I would love to go longer.

This is a huge generalization from anecdotal evidence, but I'm pretty sure four hours is the average time.

>>49841017
I kind of do both, at least in Skyrim. Unless I'm playing a thoroughly upright or peaceful character, there are a few NPCs I always find a way to kill and/or fuck with. Stripping them naked and hitting them with Fury in the middle of town is a favorite of mine.
That's just in Skyrim, though. Oblivion NPCs aren't nearly as grating.
Anyway, semi-related to the thread topic, what are some good questions to ask players at session 0 besides "what do you like to play"?
I'm running a 5E game in two days and I got nothing.

>>49842219

what do you want to see out of this game? how heavy do you like your conflict? do you think you'd enjoy dungeon crawls or roleplaying with characters more?

>>49839795
Play anything else than D&D
Suddenly combat and long rollplaying sequences take 10% of the session instead of 60%.
Suddenly sessions are shorter, less tiresome, easier to focus on for entire time, and you don't skip anything of valure.

>>49842341
Good ideas, thank you.

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>>49841931
>mfw my sessions hardly ever go bellow the five hour stamp

>>49842418
>combat and long rollplaying sequences take 10% of the session
Curious as to what the other 90% is.

>>49842666
Misread that as role-playing sessions.
Nm

>>49838011
>candyboys

>>49839795
My group has 5 people (4 players 1 GM), our sessions last about an hour and a half and we get plenty done

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That's why I only master/play with specific friends and people I or they know.

>mfw a deviant art tier fat girl got actually butthurt at me as a player for role playing a goody good cleric that didn't let her murder some dying orc
>mfw I even healed it
She didnt even have the guts to say anything to me. She told the GM I didn't let her roll her character, a shitty edgy tiefling murderhobo. The aura of butthurt could be felt the following session.

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>>49841017
>talk to somefriends about Skyrim
>Two of them mention how Lydia was their favorite follower
>I mention that I grew attached to Uthgerd the Unbroken despite her being kinda boring because she was my first follower and that I had my character marry her
>All four of the friends are confused and basically said the same thing
>"Why? How big of a fucking idiot are you!? You're SUPPOSED to murder her and take her armor. It's damned good armor early on."

>>49837977
Five hours is a bit much but I usually hit the three hour mark.

Playing murderhobos can be fun but usually isn't conducive to long term stories. Give them a one shot where they are soldiers in a warzone since that will probably avoid the future issue of players being shocked when their psychopaths end-up imprisoned.

>>49843703
to be fair, i only got 2 hours into my skyrim rp run before going "fuck this" so that sounds like something I might do if smithing wasnt a thing.

In oblivion I killed a guard and took his shit, then used that murder to join the dark brotherhood. not a bad kill

>>49843703
The fuck are they smoking? Uthgerd has plate armor from the get-go, doesn't back-talk when you tell her to carry 47 chunks of gold ore, doesn't require the completion of a quest before she'll deign to serve you, hell, she pays you for the privelege.
Either Uthgerd or the edgy Dunmer chick is my main bitch no matter who I play.
But my heart will always belong to Ysolda.

>>49837977
>not just running a dungeon crawler
wow, such a difficult problem, it's not like people liked killing shit and taking their stuff in AD&D

>>49841931
going from groups running local to me (including my own) I'd agree with you

>>49843703

it's good that you mentioned some of them liked lydia most because that's about right for shit-tier players

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>>49842701
>He doesn't abstract a percentage of cash loot as valuable objects d' art, arcade tickets and nubile teens

Smfh senpai.