Nothing dries the cute party Sorceress' pussy faster than

File: Berserk's Retarded Girlfriend.png (439KB, 744x456px) Image search: [Google]

439KB, 744x456px

>>49731224
Nothing mind-breaks her like a Dex-style rape

File: 1444006412602.jpg (627KB, 1035x1440px) Image search: [Google]

627KB, 1035x1440px

Do you see this armor right here? This is the reason why. This is flat-out better than your leather armor (also known as "cuir bolli", Gaelic for "queer boy") will ever be. It also makes your shield irrelevant because now your entire body is a shield, freeing you to use both hands. Plate doesn't care about your Dex stat. Plate only cares about being the best. If plate armor was a 3D girl it would be /a/'s universally accepted waifu. Looks fantastic, guards superbly, and the only downside is that it takes a while to put on solo...which will never happen because you will never run out of bitches who want to sensually dress you in your tent before battle like you're Tom Cruise LARPing a samurai. Leather armor is designed to be put on alone because it's designed for people who will always be lonely. Or cute sluts, in which case you're fucking them so who cares? They're probably the one helping you put your armor on, which is the natural order of things.

File: 1467887688824.jpg (438KB, 1920x1357px) Image search: [Google]

438KB, 1920x1357px

>>49731298
>Dexfags need rape or mindfucks to get laid
>Dexfags willingly fuck old men for money
>Dexfags need help from caster babbies and their sorcery bought with demon-cuckoldry to get castles
k e k
e
k

>>49731298

Femto was a caster by that point and literally raped her. When he was a Dexfag she got stolen by Guts, who cucked him on so many levels he had to go fuck a loli princess to get over it.

>>49731324
Even cute sluts look better in plate. We've discussed this.

>>49731344
Honestly, Princess Whatever-Her-Face was cuter than Casca.

File: MA-8503S[1].png (141KB, 850x850px) Image search: [Google]

141KB, 850x850px

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Anon, maybe a Greatsword just isn't my jam". That's cool, that's cool. I mean, Greatswords are objectively boss, but some people have a different aesthetic.

Fortunately, the other cool weapons are also two-handed. Look at this magnificent piece of combat engineering.

>hook for dragging fags off horses
>spear for stabbing douchebags
>big fuckoff axe blade so you can be a 90% Greataxe and hack losers you tugged off their horses

This is the "disposable NPC guard" two-hander, and it's already better than whatever "slender blade" you use to prep the whores for the disappointment they'll feel when they see your other "slender blade."

>>49731393
She was a useless bint who only served to enable Griffith, had no muscle and no stomach for adventure. Why even bother, bruh.

>>49731414
Because she was 2cute4me. Casca was just a girlyman.

File: kriegsmesser.jpg (23KB, 668x162px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 668x162px

>>49731408
They even have proper two-handed swords for you curved blade types out there.

Why did the King of Midland try to diddle his own daughter out of nowhere? Someone just suggests it off-hand, and he instantly rushes to rape his kid.

File: 1442974721481.jpg (130KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

130KB, 1280x720px

>>49731362

Wisdom.

>>49731224
I'm not into her.

>>49731454
I dunno, ask the Habsburgs.

>>49731324
that armor's trash

>arms so weak he need two to hold his sword
>penis so small he have to shitpost to comfort himself
Never change, /a/

>>49731324
>and the only downside is that it takes a while to put on solo

Don't forget a shitty field of vision

>>49731483
>thinks we need both hands

>>49731492
>needing to see
scrub

The pen is mightier than the sword, and nothing gets the wenches like a lute, so ya'll can GTFO.

>>49731462
Who's this armor charmer?

>Best guess for this image: anime
thanks google

>>49731523
She's from Overlord.
She might be Valkyrie.

File: 463px-Karok_Concept_Art[1].jpg (63KB, 463x600px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 463x600px

Or maybe curved swords and halberds aren't your thing. Maybe you're a bit more primal than that. Maybe you just want to swing it around and crush everything you see.

There's a two-hander for that. There's nothing quite like the splatter you get from whomping a goblin with a big old maul. The most patrician way to play golf, in fact, is using goblin skulls as balls, your trusty maul as a club, and the gaping anus of the nearest dex user as a hole.

>>49731521
must suck to need that stuff to get laid.

>>49731324
>what are maces and hammers?

>>49731531
Oh
I tried to watch that, but a couple episodes in it just seemed masturbatory
I ought to give it another try one of these days

>>49731523

Shalltear Bloodfallen. She's essentially an epic-level vampire cleric multiclassed into lance-focused fighting. She's also the best girl in her series.

>>49731324
It's alright, I'll just use my rapier to stab you in the eye socket, below the shoulder, neck, etc.

>>49731224
>Be a man. Use both hands
Or just use a one-handed STR weapon like somebody who doesn't have a size complex, and use your off hand for whatever the situation demands (twohanding, shields, another weapon, grappling, carrying off wounded allies, spellcasting, etc)

>>49731549
>implying you "need" a lute when your voice is just as good
A lute is easier is all.

>>49731523
that's Shalltear Bloodfallen, a vampire loli npc in overlord, with severe breast envy.

>>49731408
Alright, this is how it be.

You're up against a motherfucker sword 'n boarding like it's knightly, he's pretenden he tight.
FUCKING WRONG.
Hook that dumbass shield and put him off balance, its time to slice a bitch. Oh wait his shield wasn't properly strapped onto his arm and he was just holding it with his hand? Enjoy your broken wrist and lack of shield motherfucker.

You want a weapon for mounted combat? This is what you need. A lance? The fuck is that good for? A hook halberd with bud fulcrum won't get stuck in an enemy and can slice to boot.

BUT NO there's this other shitheel with a horse and you've lost your mount, now he's charging you, but your righteous-ass Halberd has a spear tip because that's how it do. Brace it into the ground and if he's stupid enough to continue it's shishkebob knight night. But, huh, it's a smart ass that wants to swerve at the last second.

FUCKING BITCH YOUR HALBERD HAS AN AXE.
It doesn't matter if he tries to take you from the side because you've already got him fucked. Aim for him? Don't need to, aim for the mount, it's just as good. He puts a shield up? Either hook-grapple him until he eats shit or hit his shield.

Wait, did you read the right? Just hit his shield?
MOTHERFUCKER YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
IT'S A BITCHING-ASS HALBERD.
You don't need a clean hit to set a bitch off kilter.

But, oh no, you're in a cave. A small alley. A tight crevice. A sheer cliff.
You're at a disadvantage, right?
FUCKING WRONG.
Thrust your spear-axe tool up-to-down and down-to-up right in the faces of any dumbass that thinks a polearm has a disadvantage is tight quarters. This is the shit that city guards dream about while banging their ugly as sin fishwives.

Flying enemy? Same shit different day.
Armored enemy? Same shit different day.
Dexterous acrobatic ninja? Same shit different day.
Caster behind 1000 skeletons? Same shit, different day.

Are you a bitch?
If not; then Halberd.

>>49731492
>needing to look around at your buddies for reassurance instead of resting confident that they're right behind you, enjoying a bond of mutual trust between your armored bulk and their squishy selves

>>49731570
i wasn't referring to the lute.

>>49731344
"Newborn Godling" status goes a ways beyond mere caster capability.

>>49731521
>t. liberal arts major numale bard

You had the chance to be a Valor Bard with a Greatsword, Medium Armor, and a guitar and instead you chose to be a fag.

>>49731583
>implying your squishy "buddies" didn't abandon you after you kept condescending to them every day for not wearing heavy armor like you do

>>49731580
didn't read

>>49731609
no that's pretty much a caster if we're talking 3.5

>>49731492

Why would you need that when your two-hander can be swung in a massive goblin-killing circle around your entire body with more range than three of the little fucks stacked on each other's shoulders?

File: MC-FM-663[1].png (288KB, 850x850px) Image search: [Google]

288KB, 850x850px

A brief diversion. Do you see this shit? This is what Dexfaggots think a good weapon looks like.

>W-well it can be concealed

Fuck that, a real man marches right up to his enemies and chops them in half in front of everyone they love as a warning to others.

>B-but the gaps in your armor

Your entire armor is one big gap that my claymore can fit into.

The only use these things have is cutting one's forearms in despair over having made the extremely poor life decision to become a Dexfag.

>>49731631
>spinning around in circles like a retard so it's even easier for your enemy to kill you

i would love to watch any of the fags in this thread in a real fight, you probably try to wall run

>>49731561
Also a goth lolly

>>49731612
>get all my meals and lodging for a few songs
>wenches all day erry day
>good amount of dosh on the side
>don't have to stick my neck out to get any of it
I think I'm set broham. And all ya'll would be better off if you'd just calm down and let a bard wing-man for ya. You get more free stuff and bitches if you've "slayed" dragons or "held" a bridge against 500, feel me?

>>49731568
>twohanding

If you're going to do that, use a two-hander.

>shields

Plate makes them irrelevant, see all of recorded history

>another weapon

So that you can be twice the faggot you already are? Go back to the Underdark, Drizzt!

>grappling, carrying off wounded allies

Things you don't have to do when all of your enemies have been halberdfucked to death. Polearm defense is the best defense.

>spellcasting

Two-handers are actually more recommended for that, because of chicanery involving the rules for freeing a hand to cast.

Face it, a longsword is just a greatsword that hasn't grown into a man.

>>49731612
>Guitar

Faggot's instrument. Real mean use the Hurdy-gurdy.

>>49731666
Given we are discussing Goblin murder I don't see what people would do in a "real fight" has to do with anything.

>>49731666
We're not Dexfags, Satan.

>>49731695
>y'all

Why do numales always do this when they're trying to sound tough?

>>49731727
the goblins have nothing to do with it. the way that fag would deal with poor peripherals tell me everything i need to know.

>>49731695
>needing a wingman

fuck off, beta. i take what i want.

File: Gaston-talking-walt-disney-characters-35312359-2560-1434[1].jpg (2MB, 2560x1434px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2560x1434px

>>49731695
>not choosing to have all of that and being strong enough to carry your wenches on your back because you're too cowardly to "stick your neck out"

I feel bad for you, son. Valor Bards are a man's class.

File: 1317692715961.jpg (431KB, 600x849px) Image search: [Google]

431KB, 600x849px

>>49731567
>Implying the creases in the armor wont be moving around like a motherfucker
>Implying your blade won't just jam as the plates crunch together when I move
>Implying your blade will also get clean past the gamberson and chain
>Implying I won't be running full tilt at you
>Implying you can keep your cool while 300lbs of steel, muscle and RAPE are rushing straight at you
While you're lining up your "perfect stab" and hoping it gets deep enough I only need to hit you once anywhere on your nubile body

>>49731556
Read the LN. It's basically an edgy teen's d&d campaign, but it's okay.

>>49731756
>implying anybody ITT needs a wingman
I'm just saying, game+game can't lose.

File: 1443994305539.jpg (166KB, 736x963px) Image search: [Google]

166KB, 736x963px

>>49731695
>Not being a Paladin and getting all of the above without having to perform like a dancing monkey.
>Wanting some little shit to make up stories about you instead of actually slaying dragons and holding bridges against five hundred dudes because you chose full plate and a two-hander.

And you can do all of this while being bishonen as fuck.

>>49731783
you don't have any game. get away from me.

File: le bloodtinge.webm (2MB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1280x720px

>2016
>being either a dex fag or a str fag.
>not being a blood fag

>>49731567

See >>49731665

>>49731408
You might want down to downshift your testicles, there, boy. Modern historians have absolutely no clue how two armies fought each other with these things. Two groups of pikemen running simulations ends the same way each time; mutually assured destruction. If it's just you, a pike, and a knight, sure you're in the clear, but what if the other guy also has a six foot swiss army knife?

>>49731762
>thinking that not wanting to die for some bullshit cause = cowardice
wew lad, why take risks when you don't have to?

File: 1336488029983.jpg (137KB, 1280x951px) Image search: [Google]

137KB, 1280x951px

>>49731567
>Dex fighters actually think its easy to hit a tiny moving target while a murderous armored figure is swinging a 6' sword at you
>MFW

File: 1b2.png (413KB, 500x633px) Image search: [Google]

413KB, 500x633px

>>49731665
>Your entire armor is one big gap that my claymore can fit into.

>>49731783

Go try to make some guy with a rapier look cool, you guys can tell made-up stories about your victories, try not to cry, and eventually become buttbuddies. We'll go with a Valor Bard bro or find a plump Christmas Cake Cleric with plate armor and a big hammer and keep her instead of pathetically trying to hit on the disease-ridden whores that congregate like flies at every tavern that serves adventurers.

File: 2483[1].jpg (105KB, 2560x1353px) Image search: [Google]

105KB, 2560x1353px

>>49731820

You have a guy with double pay using one of these to remove the enemy pikes. War isn't rock paper scissors, people die on both sides in almost all cases. Only pussies fear to take that risk.

WON't SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE LUCERN HAMMERS???

>>49731866
>you guys can tell made-up stories
Never said you gotta make shit up, just maybe stretch the truth a little. And qt wenches go for dashing swashbucklers (the kind that have rapiers), not grizzled, humorless guys in big armor.

>and eventually become buttbuddies
You can come outta the closet anytime you like.

>not using magic

>>49731783

Why do I get this weird "I'll use my mind-control spells on your bitch to try to rapecuck you because I need magic to get laid and daddy never loved me" vibe from you? Fuck off clothwearer.

File: HOY.png (290KB, 520x600px) Image search: [Google]

290KB, 520x600px

>>49731918
>thinking it's magic, and not just girls going for guys who can sing + play an instrument

>>49731895
Perhaps I was't clear enough.
*all* the pikemen died.
*all* of them.
as in: both sides.
as in: all of both sides.

>only pussies fear to throw their lives away

Okay, you go be "brave" and all that shit, I'll be 500 miles away, at your farm, impregnating your daughter, wife, cousin, milkmaid and favourite goat (a man's got to get his pleasure somehow)

>>49731827
because i'm not a coward.

>>49731830
>he's never hit a tiny moving target while a murderous armored figure was swinging a 6' sword at him
it's like you don't even fight to the death in real life.

>>49731944
Self preservation + love of the quite life =/= cowardice.

>>49731904
>stretch the truth
No.
>sex
No.

>>49731962
I can get hit anywhere but a few small gaps, even if I get hit you probably won't be able to pierce too deeply.
You only need to get hit once

>>49731866
rapiers were considered a brawlers weapon in our world. They came into their own when gunpowder turned your "invincible plate" into a big shiny target. So, people dropped all the steroid obsessed shit and EVOLVED... into high DEX acrobats with awesome boots.

tl:dr - man is obsolete

>>49731974
I'm not exactly sure what you're saying here.

>>49731939
>needing to sing and play an instrument to get laid
kek

File: 1475485953325.jpg (93KB, 658x481px) Image search: [Google]

93KB, 658x481px

>>49731324

>>49731966
Yes, it does equal cowardice.

>>49731988
>implying that's not just an extension of natural charm

>>49731981
You won't hit me.

File: Girls[1].png (490KB, 449x401px) Image search: [Google]

490KB, 449x401px

>>49731904
>qt wenches go for supreme gentlemen who are artsy and flamboyant peacocks, not big alpha chads in armor who are gruff and don't give a fuck

Your delusion is adorable. Have fun buying her drinks, the Strengthbro is the one who'll be carrying her and her best friend off to the best room in the inn at the end of the night.

>>49732008
>needing charm to get laid
kek

>>49731799
>Here comes the boom
Man, I wish there was a game TT game that simulated what it feels like to play a soulsborne game.

>>49732003
Cowardice is the lack of bravery, not the enjoyment of love & peace over violence.

>there are people in this thread that actually have to roleplay out the idea of being socially competent because they've never experienced it in real life

don't worry, we'll tell everyone you were being ironic.

>>49731741
>actually getting this salty and edgy over fucking medieval/fantasy roles

>>49731941

Then whatever simulation method you were using is stupid and didn't take terrain or tactics into account. Now get the fuck out of here with your reddit asterisks. Typical Dexfag, can't create emphasis through context and instead has to lift his voice with ~marks~ like a SoCal schoolgirl.

>Okay, you go be "brave" and all that shit, I'll be 500 miles away, at your farm, impregnating your daughter, wife, cousin, milkmaid and favourite goat (a man's got to get his pleasure somehow)

I don't think a manlet like you could reach a woman's pussy with a stepladder.

>>49732054
Keep justifying you cowardice.

>>49731988
He's not saying that (which is untrue). He's just saying musicians get far more Poon than a public lavatory (which is verifiably true).

Jim Morrison "died" (coffin full of bricks, lol) in the face of 12 separate paternity suits. He'd been actively singing for six years before he died. That means he knocked up 2 groupies a year with impunity. Not bad for a guy who only sang. Now imagine if he'd had a lute....

File: Jean-Louis-Ernest-Meissonier-xx-Musketeer-xx-Private-collection.jpg (86KB, 608x1000px) Image search: [Google]

86KB, 608x1000px

The sword is for disputes between gentlemen.

For other matters there is the musket.

>>49732003
Says the kid growing up without conscription, baka

>>49732027
I'm just speaking from experience. qt wenches go for guys without scarring and a romantic flair, not roughnecks who've never known anything better than a camp whore.

>>49732065
Honestly it's just a bit of fun. Or at least I hope nobody ITT is taking this seriously.

>>49731827
>sit back and sing
>somehow expect to pull more pussy than the frontline skald who sings about his own deeds

Protip, if you're just singing about your homeboys, only your homeboys are gonna get laid. Even then, you're aiming solely at bar girls, which are the absolute lowest tier. A Charisma 8 Wizard can fuck bar girls, they're adventurer groupies to the core.

>>49732092
you think musicians get a lot of action because you have abysmally low standards. you probably think seven different women per week is a lot.

>everyone who doesn't do what I do is a fag and I get more sex than them

this is a very insecure thread

>>49732098
Says the chickenlegs.

>>49732115
>I'm just speaking from experience. qt wenches go for guys without scarring and a romantic flair, not roughnecks who've never known anything better than a camp whore.
>>/r9k/

>>49732114
That's why I volunteered.

>>49732092

Jim Morrison would have been a Valor Bard, not a Lore Bard.

>>49732115
no, you're 100% genuinely imagining yourself in these situations to distract yourself from your empty life.

>>49732117
I sing about cool shit first and foremost, art is art. I sing romantic songs secondly because I gotta take care of myself, and then I sing about my bros.

>>49732157
You don't sing at all.

>>49732067
>getting angry and projecting over being called out

Lispy faggots like you have no right to imitate Southern/black accents just because it's the most masculine thing you can think of as a wispy-stached numale.

>>49731324
>>49731408
>>49731539
>>49731580
>>49731665
I read all of these in the BroScience guy's voice.

>>49732122
you can do what i do all you want, you would still be a fag and get less sex than me you fucking nerd

d:^)-|--<

>>49732027
>fighter and a bard attempt to woo women
>challenge 1 - poetry
>fighter attempt:
"arterial blood is red,
veinous blood is blue,
armour is heavy,
I want to fuck you."
>bard attempt
"Already rejoicing, I begin to love,

For I am made better by one who is, beyond dispute

The best a man ever saw or heard.

By her joy a sick man can recover,

by her wrath one well can die,

a wise man turn to childishness,

a fine man see his beauty change,

the most courtly man become a churl,

and any churl become courtly."
>women leave with bard
>fighter gets drunk
>fighter picks up half-orcish tavern wench
>vomits on her bodice and loses consciousness
>roll saving throw vs. public humiliation

>>49732156
Not really. I popped in here for a fun little bit of roleplay, not to deal with whatever issues you seem to think I have. Chill man, life is too short to get upset over little shit.

File: orc_paint_style_test_by_furious_panda-d53cj6a[1].jpg (91KB, 800x760px) Image search: [Google]

91KB, 800x760px

>>49732065

Who needs social competence when you have bulging biceps and a greataxe?

>>49732196
doesn't matter what you sing, they're leaving with the fighter. songs can't cure ugly.

>>49732049
>spend hours making character's backstory, have it be completely irrelevant
>every NPC has to end their dialogue with a creepy laugh.
>entire land is littered with inane messages, few of which have any meaning beyond "tongue, but hole", and even fewer which are made without malicious intent.
>Every Non-monster enemy/ally would either be Min-maxing faggots wielding Katanas and bagels armor, or a complete doofus-looking nut job.

That seems like a proper Soulsbourne experience.

>>49732200
Be silent. I know you better than you know yourself.

>>49732211
Havels* armor, fucking phones

>>49732196

Halfway through the Bard's poetry recital that the peasant girls don't understand, the Fighter demonstrates the trick where he lifts a bench with all the tavern's girls on it, carries them off, and fucks them.

>>49732200

And this is a thread about two-handed weapons being better, not you playing a faggy twink Bard who can't lift a bardiche.

>>49732204
who needs any of that when you've got a dick that's bigger than a black dick

>>49732208
Wouldn't a warrior of some sort have a better chance of being ugly, what with the bashes to face, stabbing and whatnot?

>>49732191
Flippity floop, eat my poop!
Everything you say bounces back to you times one hundred!
>p;^j-|--<

>>49732242
>he gets hit
no wonder scrubs like you can't get laid

>>49732079
>Then whatever simulation method you were using is stupid and didn't take terrain or tactics into account.

I didn't say it was my modelling. Also, you're not helping your own case if you're saying that terrain makes the difference between your pikemen being utterly wiped out or not. It makes the pike sound more like a liability.

> Now get the fuck out of here with your reddit asterisks.
ooh, aren't we *salty*

File: beauty-and-the-beast-gaston[1].jpg (1MB, 2560x1440px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2560x1440px

>>49732196
>Bar fight breaks out
>Bard hides under the table sobbing while the Fighter beats up every other man present

You could have been a Valor Bard, but no, you just HAD to be a fag with a lute.

File: Aw_Yeah.png (62KB, 490x374px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 490x374px

>>49731580
Alright alright alright, I ain't about to steal this boy's thunder, and nobody's saying that a halberd ain't where it at, but it isn't always just what you need, you know?

So there you are, in the middle of some godforsaken battlefield, and this motherfucker rolls up in full plate. Blades ain't good for full plate, and errybody knows it; NPC's ducking left and right, the damn DEX user with a rapier is curled up in the fetal position, everybody's losing their shit. Including you, right?
Nah senpai.
Because YOU, you crafty motherfucker, you sprung for a WAR-FUCKING-HAMMER. You could screw around, try to hit a shoulder, wind him, whatever, but you are wielding thirteen pounds of god's wrath, so fuck it, just swing at him, because Deus definitely vults.

Don't feel like using leverage to knock a feudalistic bitch boy off daddy's mount? No big deal, because guess who has a spear point? Aw yiss, you do; brace that shit and impale his horse, BOOM, one horseless knight. What's a knight without a horse? Dead, that's what.

But what if I'm on a horse, you ask? Maybe I'm the one terrorizing peasants and shit. What can I do then?
Nigger, you have seven feet of steel and oak in your hand. What can't you do? Swing at a serf with the hammer, stave in his ribcage. Give 'im a backswing like the pimpslap of god, shatter his spine. Lower it and use it like a lance that'll never get stuck, perforate the hell outta him.

One handed weapons are for pussies; if it doesn't have a five foot haft and/or blade, you're doing it wrong. Or do you not want to be the baddest motherfucker on the battlefield?

File: 1475507233969.png (5KB, 236x213px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 236x213px

>>49732177
>lispy
>wispystached numale
>but I'm the one projecting
>implying I'm even the same anon

File: latest[2].png (507KB, 490x586px) Image search: [Google]

507KB, 490x586px

>>49732092

Jim Morrison would be a relatively high-level Bard.

Now, let's compare that to someone in a martial class of similar level...oh look. It's fucking Genghis Khan, direct ancestor of a significant chunk of the global population.

>>49732279
>implying fights break out when a bard is around
Music hath charms to soothe a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted Oak.
You'd know this if you used your head.

>>49732305
>what looks suspiciously like an Undertale reaction image

I think you just confirmed everything.

>>49732305
you are, whether you are or not.

>>49732311
Wasn't that mostly done by his children and grandchildren, rather than himself?

>>49732297
are you lonely or something?

>>49732196
Implying fighter's poem wasn't romantic as fuck.

File: 1475049791440.jpg (21KB, 249x380px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 249x380px

>>49732115
>men's gymnastics team
>men's choir (marching band is for Valor Bards, they're carrying big instruments two-handed)
>football team

One of these has more sex than the other two, can you figure it out?

>>49732351
If I'm being honest it was a good attempt, even if it may have fallen short of the mark.

>>49732320
this is why no one texts you.

>>49732119
>you think musicians get a lot of action

think? I know. David Bowie was deflowering 16 year olds in a haze of hash smoke while your PARENTS were getting chastised for coming home late, nigredo.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/sex-legends-how-many-women-221059

File: WifeThatMan.jpg (58KB, 537x529px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 537x529px

>>49732115
>going for qt bar wenches
You mean building a greater harem for the strength bro who has also taken the bishounen dex fag as his conucbine.

>>49732196

That's clearly a poem meant for a specific girl. You've clearly never wooed anyone in your life, as expected of someone who thinks a rapier is a man's weapon.

>>49732378
you actually think that's a lot, don't you? just admit it.

>>49732367
Gymnasts, probably.

>>49732139
.....oh, kid. I'm sorry for what you're going to have to see. I guess you wanted this, but you should know you'll never fit in either world after you've seen action. All saltiness and hostility and shit aside, make sure you've got a good support network for when you demob. Remember people care about you.

>>49732239

I don't know whether the racism, the implied self-loathing (because I'm assuming you're not black), or the idea that manlet bards have a zwei in their codpiece is more hilarious.

>>49732277

Not him, but given that it was how people fought then and we have extensive accounts of it versus "mutually assured destruction", I'm taking this "simulation" with more grains of salt than you have lodged in your urethra right now. Cite your sources or gtfo.

>>49732406
nope.

File: 1475877582933.jpg (51KB, 500x667px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 500x667px

>>49732325
It's not even suspiciously, anon.

>>49732277

I'm sure your sassy rebuttals impress all the boys at the bathhouse, but on /tg/ we deal in facts. You clearly know nothing about battle if you think terrain doesn't matter in every single military conflict ever from the Stone Age to 2016.

>>49732413
I'm already out, and doing fine. If you're going to condescend, try being good at it.

>>49732420
i never said i was a bard, bards are baby dick faggots

File: skeleton king.jpg (20KB, 400x325px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 400x325px

>>49732442
well begun is half done

>>49732297
Fuck yeah. Way to be a bro.

>>49732342

Yes, but he definitely had more kids per year than Morrison.

>>49732367

10/10 analogy.

>>49732378

David Bowie is a Fae Lord, not a Bard. Those girls gained Warlock levels just for sleeping with him.

>>49732367
Gymnasts. All women are attracted to men who can lick their own elbows.
>Fighter: B-b-b-but I can lick my own elbow, look!!
It doesn't count when the arm is severed just below the shoulder, Grognak.

>>49732320

I'm a regular at /y/ and /hm/ (and came to this thread in hope of seeing strong studs in armor), and this is still the gayest thing I've read all day holy shit.

>>49732482
It doesn't really count when you're a leader though, especially of the Asian variety. Because that shit is happening whether or not they want it.

>>49732489
>gymnastics fags actually believe this

it doesn't count when the only girl you've ever been with is fucking the whole football team behind your back. or in front of you. whichever. not like you can do anything about it.

>>49732320
the fights are caused by your shitty music, retard.

>>49732277

>that terrain makes the difference between your pikemen being utterly wiped out or not

...What?

File: fa_32_reagan970[1].jpg (163KB, 970x867px) Image search: [Google]

163KB, 970x867px

>>49732413
>being smug about being a coward

Faggot

>>49732449

Thank you for your service, bro. I can't shake your hand from here, but you're a cool guy and this salute is for you.

>>49732500
It's a quote from The Mourning Bride though.

>>49732394
Do I think over 3,000 women for a hack like Julio Iglesias is a lot? An artist whose music was described as a 19 on the HoL anguish chart, more painful than unprotected re-entry into the atmosphere?

What the fuck are you, a fungal gnat? Most dudes would fucking die of heart failure before they got half that number. If you're about to say you've had more, I call bullshit - your dick would be a piece of leather armour by now and by all these STR fags definition you'd hate yourself. QED.
>select all images with a storefront
>won't let me select the church

File: yjHpRpt.png (75KB, 198x198px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 198x198px

How will dexfags ever recover?

>>49732556
jeez, he's so ugly he can't imagine being with even a mediocre number of women. poor guy.

>>49732556
Nigga you need to calm down.

>>49732420
> Cite your sources or gtfo.
Believe me, I'm googling. Can't find it now...

But, semantics: I never said back in the day it was MAD; I'm saying that now, in 2016, seperated as we are by the gulf of time from any man who lived and died by the weapon, we can't speak with certainty as to how to use tactics to prevail in a h2h fight between two pikemen.

>>49732539

And /lit/ is the gayest board on 4chan. You should go back there.

File: 1475791958041.jpg (290KB, 515x624px) Image search: [Google]

290KB, 515x624px

>>49732466
I'd empty the treasury for this

>>49732556
>that unsubtle fedora tipping

No wonder you can't deal with Paladins having Strength AND Charisma.

File: IMG_1754.jpg (75KB, 680x598px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 680x598px

>>49732539
>Bishounen Bardfag Anon Can't even come up with his own gay ass lines
>Has to take them from some faggot 17th century play

So Now we know that not only does Anon have Shit taste, but That he also can't think for himself.

>>49732539
and?

>>49732506
>not wanting to fuck Genghis Khan

Are you autistic? Wait, have you ever gone by the name Helpful Comrade on /tg/? Because this awkward "b-but if I sing and quote poems girls will like me with nothing else going on for me I can totes be a worthless coward" shit reminds me dead-on of him.

You know who was a manly Bard? Elvis. Who went to fucking Nam and would have used a two-hander if he was in the right setting.

>>49732612
>>49732662
All class related banter aside, have none of you ever heard that line?

>>49732688
i'm familiar with it, i'm asking you why you think we should care.

do you actually think mindlessly quoting things impresses anyone?

>>49732681
Never heard of Helpful Comrade, and I can't say I'm him. And singing songs and quoting poems to get bitches is what bards do Anon, this is RPG 101.
Shit son, if you think any of the stuff ITT is for real and not just RP then you gotta chill out.

>>49732444
>hurr durr
>let me put words in your mouth
No. You implied there was a thin chance of survival if the terrain was good. That still makes it a shit weapon compared to a weapon that gives a chance of survival regardless of terrain. Jesus, it's like you can't even understand your own speech.....
>>49732449
"Condescending"? yeah, sure, kid. Baby. Child. Not like a veteran kills themselves every 65 minutes or anything, or people come back from an endless war to be forgotten about every fucking day, or that people like me have talked them down when all they saw was enemies around them in civvy life. But sure, slap away every word of kindness and concern. See how far that gets you in life, you sorry sack of shit. I'm genuinely sorry I actually felt a moment of compassion for you. You think holding a gun and screaming for blood makes you a man? It doesn't. It carves out a piece of your soul, and I can smell the rot from here. At least the STR vs DEX debate amused me. You just make me fucking puke.

>>49732681
>Elvis
>going to Vietnam
wat

>>49732612
> /lit/ is the gayest board on 4chan.
bold words given the amount of hetero man worship up in this thread....

>>49732754
I don't need your compassion dude. That's what family and friends are for. Or do you not have those? Poor guy.

You really think being in the military is hard, don't you? kek

All this machismo coming from people on an anonymous tabletop roleplaying board on a japanese anime website.

Way to overcompensate faggots

>>49732791
Speak for yourself. I bet you've never even killed anyone.

File: historical accuracy.jpg (36KB, 250x187px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 250x187px

>>49732681
>Elvis. Who went to fucking Nam

>>49731224
>>49731324
And let me guess, your GM just lets you wear that everywhere?

File: 1425626551845.png (433KB, 800x1234px) Image search: [Google]

433KB, 800x1234px

>>49732605
> Two groups of pikemen running simulations ends the same way each time; mutually assured destruction
>*all* the pikemen died.

I guess your puny Dexfag arms couldn't move those goalposts fast enough. You cite "simulations" you can't find, ignore any historical records of battles fought up to the early gunpowder period, and then whine like a bitch when you get BTFO.

>>49732556

Doesn't that just prove that it's more important to fuck like a titan than to be able to diddle the strings?

>>49732878
don't bother dude, that permavirgin actually thinks 3000 women is a lot. his opinions aren't worth listening to.

>>49732779

If you can't understand looking up to manly men, you're not a man yourself.

>>49732754

Holy shit can you shave off a little bit of that salt for my fries?

>>49732754

No, I said that the terrain mattered, and it does. The idea that the block of dudes with spears was "mutually assured destruction" is utterly bankrupt when everyone from the Greeks to the Spaniards used it. Thin chance of survival is the sort of thing a weak, cowardly faggot like you would say.

File: german-landesknecht.jpg (50KB, 250x432px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 250x432px

>Str vs Dex
>bug weapons vs small ones
>armor vs flair
>gains vs charisma
>actually thinking all this is mutually exclusive
Why not both you turbo fags?
Join the Landschnekts today, and crush all the puss.

>>49732976
keep telling yourself that.

File: 1470195997890.jpg (169KB, 1098x1920px) Image search: [Google]

169KB, 1098x1920px

>have bonuses to mitigate armor penalties
>race grants a finessable two handed weapon
>mfw jumping around in full plate with a 2h reach weapon despite being a dexfag
gotta go fast

>>49731561
Nabe is the best girl, heathen.

Albedo has an honourable mention.

>>49732976
What, you mean those German faggots who are desperately trying to pretend that they aren't ripping off Swedish Pikemen?

File: 1443508033003.jpg (131KB, 694x965px) Image search: [Google]

131KB, 694x965px

>>49732732

Try to be a little less angry. Bards sing songs and quote poems to grant bonuses, THAT is RPG 101. Adventuring Bards get bitches because they do that and have rad adventures where they contribute to the team and kill goblins, and the best bards do it with armor and a sword. Of course, given your anti-fighting stance and blatant cowardice, it's doubtful any of your characters would be able to touch a woman without exerting magical influence on them.

>Awww, what a nice song. Could you play it louder for the next few hours, and faster? I need something to ride your Barbarian friend to. Thanks! I really feel like you're a good friend, you're so nonthreatening!

t. bar wenches.

>>49731709
My noble squire of melatonin-enriched descent.

>>49732732
singing is for faggots, sit down lil bitch

>>49732976

Strength and Charisma master race has been repeatedly agreed to this whole thread, except for the one faggot who thinks being a cowardly pacifist Lore Bard that won't let people fight and would rather make up tales of heroism than be a proper Valor Bard or Straladin to crush goblins AND pussy.

Landsknechts are just further proof that two-handers are boss.

>>49733025

What kind of gimmick build and race is that, just out of curiosity?

>>49733030

Albedo is a two-handed-axe-wielding Dark Knight.

>>49733103
it's the build and race that he just made up.

>>49732976

You mean a fantastic Kraut two-handed warrior? I can dig it.

>>49733030

It's wrong to fuck tards, Anon. Plus, Nabe is an Armored Mage as well as a Lightning Elementalist.

>>49733103
Just your standard elf with an elven branch spear (or curve blade, if you like). Fighter for Armor Training. Mithral special material on full plate to lower the weight and ACP even further and crank the dex bonus. Add a pinch of Path of War's piercing thunder discipline for flavor (and even more ACP reduction/max dex increase if it still isn't enough). It's dragoon as fucc

File: Landsknecht_with_his_Wife.jpg (285KB, 410x561px) Image search: [Google]

285KB, 410x561px

>>49733007
>butthurt papist detected
What wrong, what us to burn down Rome a second time? Which weapon you want me to sodomize your sister with, the Zweihander, Halberd, Katzbalger, or Arbeques?

>>49733044
Still bigger pimps than these lame faggots rapierfags and Strtards having their silly slap fight in the thread, while us real men show off our codpieces and chestplates

>>49733103
>>49733123
Fool! Landschneckts are Dec/Str/Cha Quality builds for real ubermensch who didn't flunk out of Marksmanship school like the roided out Strtards in the thread. Plus they had both big weapons, ranged weapons, and light sidearm swords.

The idea that you can only be good at one thing is retarded bruh

>>49733174
you can just tell us you're lonely and need attention. it's okay.

>>49731224
I'm secure enough in my masculinity. That being said, you're just an ape with a big stick or a little stick in the end, so who really cares.

Be smart, focus on magic. If you struggle with math or want to be a paladin, go ahead and STR, but quit being such a bitch about it.

>>49732041
Most people prefer consent. Part of not being a rapist.

>>49733161
>Elven Curve Blade

...Is this some Pathfinder bullshit? Holy fuck, don't admit to playing that crap here.

>>49733050
>it's doubtful any of your characters would be able to touch a woman without exerting magical influence on them
I've had some success with my pacifist characters, but I've never really played huge horndogs, just free love/flower power types.
And you really gotta stop it with these cuckoldry fantasies of yours Anon, it's kinda weird.

>>49733227
>needing rape to get laid
kek

>>49733215
>being this insecure

File: 1461813100054.png (168KB, 542x520px) Image search: [Google]

168KB, 542x520px

>>49733174
>BTFO talking about his Dexfaggotry
>Has to try and co-opt what were primarily Strengthfags with silk trappings to stay relevant

>>49733257
None of your characters have had any success.

>>49733215
>Y-you're just an ape
>Summoning a succubus and forcing her to pretend to like me is totally the same as being a p-pimp guys

Shut up and read your gay little books fagboy.

File: !Romund - Boxume.png (1MB, 742x1200px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 742x1200px

>>49731408
>have a greedy viking hero with a halberd
>party is fighting a great dragon
>musketeers are peppering it with rifles
>mages are throwing fire at the dragon because the local mage school also has a special education wing i guess
>the paladin commander runs directly at its face, screaming, and winds up getting both of his arms broken
>my viking quietly runs under its wing and charges the halberd into its ribcage enough to throw in a powder bomb in the gouge
>blasts open a clear view at the diseased heart, allowing him to slice out the arterial pumps from the outside

he was the only person who didn't receive any damage whatsoever from that fight. halberds and skeggox for life

File: [Slapping and Clapping intensifies].jpg (81KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]

81KB, 1024x768px

>>49733286
I'm sure you know my RP experience as well as I do Anon. And Holy Hell, does /tg/ always get this angry over joking around or have I been taking crazy pills for the last few years?

>>49733215
That's cute. I'll rape you and your familiar.

File: iK5qDvR.png (306KB, 721x727px) Image search: [Google]

306KB, 721x727px

>ITT: Insecure Strfags pretend to be macho while Dexfags never learn.

When will you fools understand that caster is the best option.

File: maxresdefault[1].jpg (125KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

125KB, 1920x1080px

>>49733257
>I've had some success with my pacifist characters
>free love/flower power types

Jesus dude, I didn't think you would actually admit to playing an outright hippie Bard. You would be the WORST character to bring along on an adventure to slay goblins, there is literally zero incentive to pick you (and your attempts at creeping on lowest-tier NPC bar wenches) over a Valor Bard skald or any sort of warrior Cleric.

>cuckoldry

All of this projection doesn't help you either.

>>49733271
How is this insecure?
>>49733291
Nah, I just talk to them instead of trying to arm wrestle the biggest guy in the bar and hope they notice me.
>>49733317
I don't doubt you'd try.

>>49733314
No, I know it better than you do.

>>49733322
Enjoy getting raped.

File: 1442974465590.png (2MB, 1600x900px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1600x900px

>>49733302

Doing it right.

>>49733314
>I-I was just pretending to be retarded

>>49733335
>You would be the WORST character to bring along on an adventure to slay goblins
Eh, it went alright. And it was less pacifism and more non-aggression, ya know? It's fun type of character to play, especially if you have a DM who doesn't run dungeon crawls 24/7.

>All of this projection
Not even gonna address that.

File: man has no free will.jpg (178KB, 1434x1080px) Image search: [Google]

178KB, 1434x1080px

>>49733348
>How is this insecure?
If you have to say it you clearly aren't.

>>49733348
I bet you actually think that's how we get chicks lmfao

File: 2ni5w6h[1].jpg (67KB, 320x470px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 320x470px

>>49733322

Staves are two-handed, magebro. You're welcome in our club any time. Have you considered Medium Armor Training? It's all the rage with mages since 5e came out and we don't want you to get hit with some goblin's shit-smeared arrow.

Girl mages make pretty qt waifus, too.

>>49733376
>I-I was just pretending to be retarded
Do you not understand humor? "My class is better than yours" is a way of taking the piss, not establish superiority as some people think, and deff not pretending to be retarded.

>>49733387
OP made a point, I replied. Not to use a "Buzzword", but I get the feeling that you're projecting considering what this entire thread is.

>>49733382
No, it didn't fucking go alright you douche. We carried you the whole time and we laugh at you behind your back.

The GM's banging your gf btw

File: index.jpg (47KB, 658x928px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 658x928px

Hey guys, sword and boarder here. I'm not going to do a huge speech or anything about how cool it is to use my weapon or anything, but I just want to let you know I have your back no matter what.

Even if you are a bit of a dick sometimes.

>>49732000
https://youtu.be/Ej3qjUzUzQg

>butthurt anglos still pretend that arrows can melt steel beams

>>49733348
>being this insecure

>>49733426
You weren't using humor, you were being 100% sincere. You can't hide your thoughts from us.

>>49733430
wat

>>49733436
People can go on and on about their special snowflake weapon or their l33t magic/charming skills, but at the end of the day nothing beats the reliability of a sword & board.

>>49733436
god no one cares jeff fuck off

>>49733412
No, I'm entire aware what rape is. that other anon who's every reply is rape makes that pretty evident.
>>49733416
I do prefer staves, although a wand for back up isn't bad. If you're good enough, you don't need a sidearm, but it's a precaution.

I'll look into it.

File: stock-photo-two-beautiful-girls-laughing-and-pointing-at-camera-53857132[1].jpg (587KB, 1500x1143px) Image search: [Google]

587KB, 1500x1143px

>>49733348
>summon a succubus
>drop spaghetti in front of her "just talking" until the party Paladin comes up and grabs her by the pussy
>O-okay w-wanna keep talking when he's done banging you senseless? I-I know some sappy lines from bad plays...

>>49733463
you heard me fag, don't bother showing up to the next session if you're not gonna shower

File: jung.jpg (44KB, 365x480px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 365x480px

>>49733428
>projecting
funny, i was a different anon.
I was just pointing out that generally people saying that they are are not.
It's a mantra they have to repeat to themselves.
When i read op i was thinking Oh cool gutz, not gotta start my response with I'm....not a weakling....guys.
Anyway the whole phrase seems like a defeatist term.
A sort of I know it's not optimal but you know what I'm not going to adapt and make myself into what i want

>>49733471
>he STILL thinks we need to rape to get laid

File: 1443672286930.gif (527KB, 475x267px) Image search: [Google]

527KB, 475x267px

>>49733382
>ya know?

The impotent "please validate me" questions of a hapless cuck.

>>49733479
Maybe more people would shower if you'd bring good snacks Steve.

>>49733505
Lancer>>>>Archer.

File: Casul.jpg (21KB, 236x315px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 236x315px

>>49731224
Dex weapons. Not even once.

>>49733437
120
not 200
what

>>49733426

It isn't humor when you flail around looking for excuses for your faggoty behavior. You're not even worth using an awesome two-handed weapon on, a boss monster would just noogie you to death for being such a twat.

>>49733527
fuck you nigger it's my house bring your own shit

>>49733531
>implying you did not level up Dex once

File: no keks 0 keks.jpg (8KB, 171x235px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 171x235px

>>49733527
>>Maybe more people would shower if you'd bring good snacks Steve.
Shower you fucking faggot

>>49733548
We fucking talked about this, the host gets shit to eat, If you can't afford food then don't host it at your house.

File: 2hKQ_KDOCUs.jpg (205KB, 768x1024px) Image search: [Google]

205KB, 768x1024px

Alright since yall motherfuckers don't seem to know what a Knight is or does, I'll explain this shit for you.

>waaah Strength gets all the bitches
>waaah Dex gets all the bitches

You're a motherfucking KNIGHT. Not some poor-ass bitch mercenary who only has the time to spec in one single aspect of combat. You have been trained since literal childhood to be a peerless warrior, matched only by your equals in status. You are the expert in everything, Dexterity, Strength, Agility, Charisma, Intelligence, Wisdom- these all have been fully leveled in before you reach your twenty-fifth birthday. You've have the best education the world currently can provide for anybody save the King himself, and you have mastered every aspect of warfare and social life.

Not only are you agile, dexterous, and incredibly strong- but you have also been trained in the classical arts. You can sing, write poems, hell, you can fucking read, which puts ahead of a fair chunk of the population at this point given abysmal literacy rates. And not only can you write, but you can probably do so in calligraphy, not some shitty chicken scratch but in some fancy-ass Gothic. Picking up women is easy for not only do women flock to nobility because of their status- but your training since childhood means that you are exceptionally skilled at romance. Even Bards will be hard pressed to compete with you, and unlike the sorcerer in the party you aren't going to get cucked by him.

Best of all, you're on top of a social order and valuable. If enemies are smart they will never kill you, just ransom you. Just make sure to not get involved in any blood feuds or take part in a religious war.

>>49733478
Or just talk to them because Cha isn't my dumpstat. Go ahead and try that at a bar in real life, though, you'll get the same reaction at my table.
>>49733496
Because he said "Be a man". My point was I don't need to play a character like him to "be a man". It's not a mantra, it's a response. Do you see where I'm coming from now?

>>49733566
Crossbows lmao

File: 1466554387087.jpg (746KB, 1252x1800px) Image search: [Google]

746KB, 1252x1800px

>>49733436
>not a dexfag
>properly armored
>clean-cut and reliable

It's no polearm, but you're alright kid. Get your shit, we're heading out for the mines. Got some kobolds to genocide.

File: more then the blood french.jpg (66KB, 500x510px) Image search: [Google]

66KB, 500x510px

>>49733566
>french fags actually believe this
AGINCOURT

>>49733565
uh no we explicitly agreed that you ungrateful fucks need to bring your own shit

don't like it then pay fucking rent, this is why no one likes you

>>49733566
blah blah no one cares

>>49731324
That's some pimpin armor

>>49733566
>giggling_English_peasant_longbowmen_on_a_muddy_hill.jpg

This is what you deserve for blowing the DM for that special snowflake variant of the Fighter class.

>>49733591
No we didn't, you just left before we were done talking about it. I mean goddammit is it that hard to get some pretzels or something?

>>49733572
no one cares where you're coming from you limp-wristed commie faggot, get raped

>>49731612
Fuck, now I want to play that.

>>49733583
>killing kobolds

and you call other people kid, kek

don't hurt yourself in the spooky cave, sport

File: 1443811549405.png (727KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]

727KB, 1024x768px

>>49733581

More like crossbows without pavises lmao, or French logistics lmao

>Intelligence...fully leveled

My sides were left across the English Channel.

File: colbert.gif (831KB, 500x278px) Image search: [Google]

831KB, 500x278px

>>49733538
>not 200
>200 pound draw weight
Are you fucking INSANE? The highest draw weight we've ever found is under 180 pounds, and modern estimates put that at a much more reasonable 150 or less. 200 would not only mean your troops would struggle to fire many arrows in repetition, which is necessary for archery in medieval warfare to even be semi-effective, but would just be too much for the human body. The English training from a young age with longbows probably under 160 pounds was enough to cause visible deformations in their bodies.

>>49733614
I live here, moron. you guys left. I don't care if you agree or not, you're not getting inside empty-handed.

File: 81502-11-carl-jung-0710-lg.jpg (28KB, 300x400px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 300x400px

>>49733572
>>Because he said "Be a man".
Anon, I must inform you i was well aware of the op, and yet, I and many others did not feel it necessary to inform the board that we for comfortable.
You are singular in your response, why is that
>>My point was I don't need to play a character like him to "be a man".
And you've come to this conclusion why?

>> It's not a mantra, it's a response.
Uttering a mantra can be a responce.

>>49733642
lol, this guys can't even use a 200 weight bow, what a fuckin pussy

File: TrumpVSGuts.png (85KB, 893x369px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 893x369px

>>49731298
>>49731224
>>49731324
>>49731338

>>49733643
We talked about it at Greg's house. And if you don't wanna do food, that's cool dude, we understand. You just gotta say so, that way we can do it somewhere else.

File: no.png (171KB, 500x575px) Image search: [Google]

171KB, 500x575px

>>49733662

>>49732122
Whole thread is just a very rp heavy joke bruv.

>>49733674
No you didn't. I have bugs on everyone.

>>49733662
Oh god, I can hear his voice inside my head now. What has this election cycle done to me?

>>49733682
For the last time, you haven't bugged anybody in the group, you just thought you did.

File: the%20hound[1].jpg (63KB, 1200x668px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 1200x668px

>>49733572
>what works in real life won't work in a game run by someone who thinks pacifist characters are a good idea

Shit DM AND shit player confirmed. Does the conversation get awkward when the Paladin and Barbarian are tag-teaming your girl across the tavern table?

I'm not the guy from the second point, but your character clearly isn't a man, just an effete little boy trying to use Pick Up Artist tactics to get laid while the real adventurers are saving the village from kobolds and crushing pussy.

>>49733627

Kobolds are a menace to all the nearby farms, you think we should just ignore them when we can easily wipe those scaly halfpints out and have the training to avoid their traps? Cowardly shit. I guess you miss out on all the grateful farmgirls, then.

>>49733623

It is a supremely glorious experience.

>>49733556
Shhh. I'm not supposed to tell anyone I leveled that up.

>>49733662
Replace Griffith with Trump. How does Berserk go?

>>49733683

It reads best if you read it in his voice.

>>49733662
'let a man inside his ass' should not be the type of argument to defend Griffith with... although it might have just been blowjobs, it's not mentioned in detail

>>49733721
Gutz becomes a mason

>>49733711
You're confusing Anons. I'm the one who's played pacifist-ish Bards, not the other Anon.

>>49733711
Heh. You have fun with that, kid.

>>49733726
I don't think you understand. I can't turn it off.

>>49733527

Archer is literally the most powerful Holy Grail War class, the only reason Sabers get such a good rep is because there's a much lower chance of inadvertently getting a shit Saber because of the high stat requirements.

>>49733556

Don't tell anyone you fuckin' faggot.

>>49733588
You mean the battle in which longbows struggled to penetrate armor with any lethality and focused primarily on harassment and shooting horses out from under their riders? The victory of Agincourt is the result from a combination of weather, the English Men at Arms, and the French being fucking retarded enough to charge in said weather due to a complete lack of discipline or recognized hierarchy between the Dukes and King. Both Crecy and Agincourt banked entirely on French incompetence, sheer luck, poor weather on a field, and the English's own Knights and professional troops. Which you'd know if you got your history from somewhere other than a Garth Ennis comic.

>>49733610
And if we're applying realism, especially at a party level, archers are completely useless. Bows are less effective against armor than crossbows and are incredibly inaccurate in a fight as longbowmen trained to fire at ranges, not targets. That one party member who took an archery class or anything related to it should be completely useless in a fight of 5 guys versus 5 other guys, or a larger number. You want people able to survive in melee, so unless he's just a fighter who happens to carry a longbow, he's fucked. Plus if he fires the wrong arrows at the wrong target, they will barely do any damage. -And- Longbows lack the kinetic energy of late period Crossbows, meaning they have less stopping power.

>>49733749
Power level doesn't matter if Lancer is a cooler dude who doesn't afraid of anything.

>>49733566
>y'all
>yet another numale

I was right again!

>>49733762
didn't read

>>49733616
This is pretty funny.
>>49733648
Over analyzing and asking loaded questions while posting a picture of psychologists must be fun. If you want insecurity look at the next guy.
>>49733711
>by someone who thinks pacifist characters are a good idea
Who said this?

>>49733762
>implying i was arguing about the efficacy of bows and not the idiocy of knights.
Jesus you are a spastic french faggot
Nice training that warrior class got eh?

>>49733762
>longbows struggled to penetrate armor with any lethality and focused primarily on harassment and shooting horses out from under their riders?
An old master once taught me a wisdom of warfare - if it's stupid but it works, it's not stupid. Hussites were fighting off kinghts by tangling horse feet in conveniently placed sheets.

File: freud.gif (191KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

191KB, 500x500px

>>49733779
>Over analyzing and asking loaded questions while posting a picture of psychologists must be fun. If you want insecurity look at the next guy.
It is.
But even then this is some serious deflection here anon,

>>49733762

You're thinking of Crecy. At Agincourt, the French had such a huge army all pushing their way to the front that they got trapped in the narrow break where their horses could actually advance, and as dead horses started piling up and with more of that huge army pushing from behind the front lines turned into a killing zone.

>>49733765

Enjoy that E-Rank luck potato boy.

>>49733808
The only winning move it not to play. Here's a final (You) for you. I'll won't for the other two stooges.

File: 201px-Nods-respectfully[1].gif (653KB, 201x281px) Image search: [Google]

653KB, 201x281px

>>49733572
>Because he said "Be a man". My point was I don't need to play a character like him to "be a man".

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Found a picture of you. You're a Dexfag at heart, no matter what you use.

>>49733808
Freud wasn't fun to hang around with, everything was always about my mom.

>>49733656
We have zero evidence for the existence of any 200 pound longbows in war, and even in the modern day very few people use them, the common weights are under 100. You do realize that longbows aren't actually meant to kill the enemy, but act as harassment? You don't get 5,000 archers to kill 5,000 people, you get 5,000 archers to bog down the enemy in ten or so waves of fire that hit like a painful wall. Very few people will be killed, but the sheer weight of fire will demoralize troops, break up unit cohesion (which fucks pikes up completely), slow advances, or even halt charges. Crossbows are what you use if you want to penetrate armor and inflict lots of mortal wounds, at the cost of rate of fire. There's a reason why continental Europe abandoned the longbow for the most part and switched over to crossbows, and then handgonnes. It's cause bows suck.

England only carried on using longbows for as long as they did because, thanks to the pure GENIUS that was Edward the Third, their mandated training of archery and banning of most other recreation meant that a good chunk of their population was perpetually trained archers, who take a long time to produce. Whereas it might take somebody else a decade to get a unit of effective, well drilled longbowmen up and ready to go- England could just levy from the population they had already trained since boyhood, and could continue to do that until their reserves were depleted (which could be fast, you need virtually the entire population of a medieval society working so everybody doesn't starve. Armies are very, very small).

But once England fought an enemy that used guns, they swiftly realized that the age of archery was over and immediately switched to using arquebusiers.

>all these fags who need weapons
>all these fags who fight just to fuck women.

Not a real man among you is there? Not a single, enlightened, bare handed monk here. Shame.

File: what a shame.png (440KB, 680x680px) Image search: [Google]

440KB, 680x680px

>>49733842
pic related

>>49732860

Would you not wear that armor to court?

>>49733855
uhh the evidence is my 200 lb longbow you fuckin scrub, hit the gym some time

File: _67757352_skeletoncomp.jpg (57KB, 549x549px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 549x549px

>>49733868
Your modern longbow has nothing to do with what medieval armies used. Especially since you have better nutrition than them, and even then using a 200 pound longbow for hunting/sporting occasionally is not the same as training every single day for your entire life so your skeleton looks like pic related.

>>49733623

Valor Bards are the dopest shit.

>>49733904
it's not a modern longbow, and i do train every single day of my life.

>>49733860
You're not a real man, you're a shitty design practice.

>>49733286
Having sex in an RP is cringey as fuck anyways. Better if his characters weren't successful

>>49733904
Why did they make a statue of William Regal?

File: 5bf[1].jpg (16KB, 480x318px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 480x318px

>>49733662

Fucking Christ I lost it.

Although if you want to get autistic about it, Griffith let a man inside his ass, Griffith was raped as a little boy and then murdered his rapist in the next battle.

>>49733050
Damn she thicc
Gonna need a source for that, google aint doing justice

>>49733920
Prove it.

Just get the Melee Training feat and smack monster with your con/wis/int/cha/whatever.

File: Institutionally Constrained Technology Adoption Resolving the Longbow Puzzle.pdf (1B, 486x500px)

1B, 486x500px

>>49733855
That's all a nice discussion you two have there, but let me ruin it.

>>49733957
post your address and i'll kill you with it.
without leaving home.

>>49733721

Falconia becomes a hundred times better, Hindufaggots and supernatural creatures get deported, Band of the Hawk survives, Hillary Clinton is eaten by demons, Ted Cruz becomes a rat-bodied Apostle, Pippin tells us all about Saul Alinsky.

>>49733929
In all honesty, RP sex is cringey. But having a sexually active character isn't, so long as the GM sticks to fading to black and everybody is cool with it. I assume (hope would be a better word) that we are all mature adults and realize that sex is a normal, healthy thing, and that RPing a character who engages others in said sex isn't bad so long as nobody makes it weird.

File: i like this fucking post.gif (1MB, 200x254px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 200x254px

>>49733965
thanks anon

>>49732613
Is that anime sir Fortesque cosplaying as the boner king?

>>49733742

You're both faggots though.

File: army of darkness.gif (2MB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 500x281px

>the ceaseless bickering of the living
>again

Death claims us all, mortal. Why fight it? Why fight one another, over such trivialities as this?

>>49731523
It's a chair.

>>49734016
No u

>>49733922
Ouch.

>>49733945

And that is where the troll goes a layer deeper, as both Griffith and Guts are victims in the same way, but clearly Trump liking one more. This leads him to hypocritically raise the issue in a way that can only backfire but will still guarantee coverage

File: asw_guns[1].jpg (486KB, 750x500px) Image search: [Google]

486KB, 750x500px

>>49733855
>England only carried on using longbows for as long as they did because, thanks to the pure GENIUS that was Edward the Third, their mandated training of archery and banning of most other recreation meant that a good chunk of their population was perpetually trained archers, who take a long time to produce. Whereas it might take somebody else a decade to get a unit of effective, well drilled longbowmen up and ready to go- England could just levy from the population they had already trained since boyhood, and could continue to do that until their reserves were depleted

Wait a second, holy shit. I think I finally understand Yanks. They're doing the same exact things but with the modern equivalent.

>>49733983
I've always considered it unnecessary time wasting even with fade to black.

>>49734058

And you ruined it.

>>49734082
It probably depends on the group more than anything, with preferences ranging from vague allusions to almost-not-quite ERP.

>>49733946

Wish I knew bro.

>>49733929
>not playing online and having hot lewds with the party Cleric
>not just smiling smugly when the rest of the team asks why you always get healed first and why she asked the DM for several months' downtime

That was a joke. In all seriousness, that's part of why we're making fun of him.

>>49734070

Who knew Americans could be so clever?

>>49734082

That's because you're a kissless virgin. If your time was valuable you wouldn't be playing traditional games.

File: 1860978.jpg (123KB, 634x626px) Image search: [Google]

123KB, 634x626px

>>49734102
>almost-not-quite

The internet is a magical place.