What's the most ridiculous thing you've ever let your

>>49709350
So basically they're all riding kokuoh from Fist of the North Star, I see nothing wrong with that.

File: 1407002931666.jpg (73KB, 381x424px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 381x424px

>>49709350
>5e
>Anything having rolled stats
>Aligning stats for a prestatted creature
>Stats over 20 of a stat aligned creature

Far be it from me to tell you how to enjoy your game, but your DMing style makes it sounds like your games are complete messes of lolsorandum shit. I just can't understand the appeal.

>>49709620
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

>>49709350
>Roll stats
>Over 20
Did you let them use several d20 nigga?

>>49709640
Horse have racial +5 Str, but you're still looking at several 16+ on 3d6.

>>49709665
>Horse have racial +5 Str
What? Don't they just have a flat Str attribute? Are there rules for playing as a horse or something now?

>mecha campaign
>two players are visiting old man general in hospital after rescuing him from a cryopod on a submarine
>said players are sniper captain/general's son and hot-blooded Latina tank commander
>suddenly, ecoterrorists attack because idiot with laser burnt down a forest
>Latina tank commander declares she's taking off her tank top to wave as a white flag
>"Wait, did I wear a bra today? My character is definitely the type to forget sometimes."
>rolls for bra
>fails
>"Do I get a distraction bonus?"
>"...The General gains 1 HP."

>>49709689
I guess he reverse engineered it...? Maybe? Like, if you were going by a point-buy calculator?

A war horse normally is 18 Str, so if if you were being generous I guess they'd have +3 strength and like a -10 to Int or something.

I don't know where +5 really comes from.

>>49709350
>First session running a homebrew
>One player is a bipedal half-human half-animal demon, who uses a lute as a bludeoning weapon
>Can use an action after combat to consume a fallen foe to regain health
>Does this outside of a town's walls, where other chosen heroes are told to meet
>Beasts are already despised by the other races of the setting, and this one just walked into town with a face covered in blood
>Immediately surrounded by guards
>An easy resolution would be to show the guards the mark of the hero that all player characters possess
>"Can I play my lute to win them over with the power of rock?"
>Say he can roll charisma, but tell him it's a crap shoot
>Critical success
>The guards are won over, and even drop a few gold pieces at his feet for the performance

>>49709350
>my character is fighting someone on top of a tower
>my friend's character is on the ground, with no way of getting up
>the player gets bored
>gm asks "what do you do in the meantime?"
>"I masturbate"
>"ok, roll for that"
>critical success
>gm: "you ejactulate into the opponent's eyes, blinding him"
>this gives me the edge I needed to win the fight

In D&D salamanders have no gender and reproduce autonomously so there really is no reason they would understand or care about romance and sexual attraction.One of my players wanted to seduce a salamander guard. That'll teach me to bait the dice with "You can, but you better roll a 20".
So of course the unseduceable was seduced, and had trouble understanding what was happening to them. They were henceforth played as someone who had stumbled upon revelations Salamander was not meant to know. The player got nothing out of it except the pleasure of mindfucking a friendly antagonist.

File: 2013-12-29-blood-nose1.jpg (71KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 1280x720px

>>49709762
>>"...The General gains 1 HP."
>Not "...The General loses 1 HP"

Goddamn so many of these are just shitty lolrandumb crap. Like I understand lightheared games but
>Dying guy masturbates into the villain's eye
>Horses as strong as a mammoth
>Guards give the flesh eating guy money (I can vaguely understand not killing him, but throwing him money is retarded)

I managed to Johnny Rico a bulette last night as a hillbilly gnome with a shotgun.Then I crit the damn thing with a vorpal dagger used as a bayonet.

>>49710564
Dunno why mu DM let me get away with that.

I'm running a mecha game in the 2100s. I frequently make them roll skill checks like
>military history
>animation history
>20th century music
>vidya
to recognize the emblems their opponents use.

They failed a check to recognize Miku Hatsune.

>>49710514
when I said "on the ground" I meant that as opposed to "on the tower", where my character and the enemy were fighting.
His character was perfectly healthy and simply managed to jizz all the way to the top of the tower.
To our defense, the game we're playing was created expressively to do stupid shit in a med-fan setting

>>49709350

>party wizard wants to make endure elements potions and is asking for component costs
>the campaign is late-game at this point so I'm not sweating the small stuff
>"Sure, just roll a d100 and whatever you roll will be the price per potion in gp"

He rolled a natural fucking 1. The party made barrels worth of the stuff and shoved them into their bag of holding. For the rest of the campaign they basically had permanent endure elements on.

The party was like level 13 at this point so I didn't see a reason not to let them have their victory over the RNG.

>>49710514
>>Dying guy masturbates into the villain's eye
I think you misunderstood this story. Or I did.
I read >>49710386 as the character isn't lying on the ground, unable to stand.
He is at ground level with no way to get up to the fight on top of the tower. But his cum reached the villain's eye anyway because >lolnat20.
Honestly not sure which is worse.

>>49710678
>They failed a check to recognize Miku Hatsune.
Who?

>>49710811
The players. Sorry, I should have made that more clear.

>>49710811
>feeling the need to pretend like he doesn't know and/or being too lazy to just google it

Here's your (you)

File: __hatsune_miku_vocaloid_drawn_by_namuya_dlcjfgns456__573ea48440cde144033829a0a6df3291[1].png (1MB, 1214x1720px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1214x1720px

>>49710811
Hatsune Miku. One of the personifications of vocaloid singing software.

>>49710867
No. I meant who this Hatsune Miku was.
>>49710882
Aaaah, I've fapped to that! Okay. Thanks
>>49710881
Seriously didn't have a clue, and too lazy to google it.

>>49709350
>is.4chan.org
What is this? I keep seeing these unusable links.

>>49710714
That sounds even more retarded
>LOL just gonna masturbate up several stories and hit the villain in the eye because nat 20
Critical successes are literally the most cancerous thing in ttrpgs.
>I rolled a 20 that means you have to let me do it
>You rolled a 20 so lets fuck up a climactic battle by adding someone getting jizz in their eye
Honestly if I was playing a game and shit like that happened I would have just left. It kills the entire mood of the game for the climactic battle to be interrupted by someone getting jizz in their eye.

>playing as ninja
>worship goddess of fertility and sex
>fighting in a colleseum match with party
>our goal is to defeat a giant gorilla at the top of the hill and it is throwing javelins at us, and there are mooks there to slow our ascent.
>it has a princess tied to a pole that we need to rescue.
>the party is using cover to avoid javelins, but there are some spots with no cover.
>I go invisible to get to where the gorilla is.
>want to distract and disable gorilla so party can safely ascend
>full attack sneak attack
>do a good chunk of damage but it still lives
>full attacks and obliterates me
>fall dramatically like Johnny cage in 2nd mortal combat movie
>ask gm if I can pray to my goddess for help before drawing my last breadth
>gives the OK, roll d100 and wants a 100
>I roll a 69
>my body vanishes
>return looking like I just had sex
>defeat gorilla
>noble samurai rescues princess from pole
>he demands she give us money for saving her

>>49710915
In chrome, you can select text and right click and click "search google".

It takes less time and effort to do that than to select the text, click the post number, type "Who?" and go through captcha.

I hope that helps in future!

To piss in a waterfall.

File: REV UP THOSE GAS CHAMBERS.jpg (1MB, 2184x1706px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2184x1706px

>>49712125
With AIDS?

>>49712095
I'm on my phone currently

>>49712125
>You piss the guy protecting the treasure in the cave behind the waterfall
>He looks pissed at you

File: 1468752864492.jpg (43KB, 576x521px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 576x521px

>Playing as air-aspect Immaculate Monk in Terrestrial Exalted campaign
>Decent amount into the campaign, we're assigned to check out a city in the south
>Group gets invited to miner's appreciation party
>GM: roll temperance
>I fail temperance roll
>GM: lel, roll d10 to see how badly you failed
>I roll 10; crit success
>table is silent for a few moments
>monk get drunk as a skunk and end part of a big bar fight
>drunk or not, still Exalted Immaculate Monk
>beat the living daylights out of everyone except one
>imagine a guy who's worked heavy physical labor his entire life without getting overworked
>built like two shit brickhouses stacked on top of each other
>epic end boss-type battle ensue
>I ask what the normal rating is for bare hands, is told 3
>trigger Air Dragon Style-charm: Tornado Offense Technique
>magical flurry that adds martial arts rating as additional attacks
>maxed out at 5 because awesome hax-monk
>CONSECUTIVE NORMAL PUNCHES!
>guy is blown off his feet, still alive but out cold
>monk is standing on top of pile of bodies, triumphant in his victory
>girlfriends of all the dudes appear, having witnessed his triumph over the others and decide he's enough for them all
>character's face when he wakes up the next morning, realizing he failed something like half of his sacred oaths

>>49711440
toppest kek

>>49709620
>>49710514
>druid in our party has 7 intelligence and 3 charisma because I let the player roll a D20 for his stats
>rogue was transformed into a red monkey man because he bathed in potions
>bard routinely catapults himself into the air by casting thunderwave towards the ground
You're not entirely wrong

>>49714515
I can't remember, do inanimate objects in 5e automatically fail or automatically succeed Strength saves?

>>49710678

Pretty reasonable. Would you recognize many popular characters from the 1910s?

Most wee/a/boos these days are flavour-of-the-month plebs and don't even know any anime from before the 90s, so non-weebs in 2100 not knowing Miku seems entirely believeable.

When I used to run a Time Wizards group, we had a house rule that after any character, PCs and NPCs alike, was introduced into the game, we would roll a d20 to determine whether the character was gay or straight, with 20 being the gayest and 1 being the straightest.
One time, someone drew a change card and transformed Earth and Mercury into giant vampires. After a bit of debate over whether they counted as NPCs, we rolled for each of them. Earth got a 14. Mercury got a 20.
They immediately started fucking, and the Mercury vampire was sparkling, Twilight-style, due to its gayness and proximity to the sun.

File: 9CnegYMOxF-7.png (15KB, 300x250px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 300x250px

>>49709350

I have several instances, but one I can remember off the top of my head goes like this:

>4e DND
>Party recently defeated an underground mafia type group in their castle in the middle of a nearby forest.
>They find out that the castle is a flying one
>Cheers all around
>After a while, they manage to get the thing to work
>it's a clunker of a castle, but it moves.
>Next session, they hear of robberies and kidnappings along a forest route, they go to investigate
>End up getting jumped and knocked out by the kidnappers, a rabid tribe of gnolls in an unexpectedly good surprise round mixed with tanglefoot bags
>Warforged Warden is the only one to escape, has an idea and runs back to the flying castle
>Asks me "Are the people who owned this castle before, are their corpses still here?"
>I answer "Yeah, it's been about a day, nobody in the group bothered to clean it out."
>He proceeds to then dump a shitload of powers to punch a swimming pool sized hole through the stone floor of the flying castle
>I roll with it because it seems fun/he was powerful enough to pull it off.
>He grabs all the corpses and stows them nearby the hole and then flies the castle towards where he spotted the gnolls take the party.
>And like the helicopter scene in Apocalypse Now, he rolls up and pushes all the bodies off like carpet bombs, with gnolls being gibbed by falling corpses from 200ft away.
>Party is bemused at this rescue.
>At some point, he runs out of bodies to push
>One last idea: he ties a rope around his waist and to a pillar of the castle
>swings down to the camp George of the Jungle style and bowls over people
>entire party immediately thinks of pic related

>>49715692

Another "gud DMs always sez yes XD" doormat.

>>49711302
You sound like a fun guy

>>49715897
You sound like a retarded guy

File: TED.png (188KB, 335x384px) Image search: [Google]

188KB, 335x384px

ITT: good old classic 'no fun allowed' /tg/

Does anal circumference counts?

>>49709350
There was once a mid-game item the party retrieved from a mad artificer named the 'Improbability Matrix'. This item, when activated (could be done once every four hours), would cause a completely random event to happen in its vicinity depending entirely on one d20 dice roll.

These evtns follow ths basic roll that the higher the roll, the better the event. These rolls could not be altered in any way and could not be re-rolled, nor could the effects. These effects were also amplified depending on the situation, meaning that rolling while fighting a bandit group would never have the same effect as rolling during a battle with a dragon.

As such, as the fight with the BBEG begins, the wielder of the Improbability Matrix uses it on the first round. Said BBEG is effectively a lich empowered by the leader of a demonic pantheon of gods, on the verge of completing a ritual that would terraform the planet into a burning hellscape and open a trmendous portal for his masters to arrive through, the usual stuff.

The roll for the use was a 1. The first one to ever come out of it, actually, and I wasn't entirely ready for it. The short version of what happened was the the planet split in two in a cataclysmic blast as a cosmic being erupted from its core, shortly annihilating all life in a blazing flash of plasma and starstuff.

I consolidated it by simply saying 'the damn thing broke' and let the fight go on anyway after the description.

>>49715730
oh, thanks man. I was going to let my players enjoy the game the way we like to enjoy it. but now i realise that your way of running a game is the only way to go. Forget the fact there are different players and don't even think about that maybe the small joke not really mattering to the overall game. You got it figured out. Thanks for the advice!

>>49709350
>What's the most ridiculous thing you've ever let your players roll for?
survival skill, just to see if they survive

>>49718018
You made my night

>>49718018
Absolute mad man

>>49710477
Will to live, man. Will to live.

>>49710285
>uses a lute as a bludeoning weapon
That would be a one-off bludgeoning weapon. Lutes aren't very strong, and are usually very light.

It would break as soon as you hit something with it. Then you could stab someone with the splinters, or maybe garrote them with the strings...

>>49710736
ya did it to yourself. always randomize the prices yourself, behind your DM screen and adjust as necessary.

>>49709639
KISS KISS KISS

Roll fortitude DC20 to try to eat 20 live scorpions in order to get a free horse.