Alright /tg/. I usually Lurk on here, make a few comments, take

>>49570670

It all started as a simple Sidequest: each player was doing their own little quest to earn some extra gold and XP before bigger adventures came along, and Gimble decided to look for an attempted assassin. Well, the clues led him to a hotel in the City where he stayed, so Gimble the Gnome, riding on his Mastiff, strolled in to see if he could find the assassin. Now, in a previous mission, he had incited a little racial tension between the elves and Humans in the hotel using his illusion magic. So, he used that to his advantage by claiming that the wanted man he was looking for had tricked them all into fighting. A few sucessful charisma rolls later, and he had about 35 commoners searching the hotel, until they found two men with crossbows. Now, he was supposed to interrogate, or figure out through investigation which of the two was the assassin, and which was innocent. But, after some initial failed rolls, he decided to try something different.

Something VERY different.

>>49570731
So, he had the two men tied up on chairs, facing back-to-back, and... he bought pitchforks and Torches for all the people in the Hotel lobby. He used his illusion and some persuasion to try and convince them to surround the room with these new armaments, and they did. This is the first indication something was wrong.

"Alright, what does Gimble do now?"

>Alright, if the real assassin doesn't Step forward, I'll burn this building and everyone in it to the ground, and then move on to the next hotel!

We all kind of stopped, and I asked him "You... you sure you want to say that?"

>Yep.

Well, the mob may have been persuaded, but this man had literally threatened arson and murder. And they all had the torches and pitchforks.

>>49570776

So, naturally, they tried to gang up on him. No, with Misty step, he warps outside and escapes down the street on his mastiff, heading towards the Guardian Station (basically the Police-soldiers of my world. Think Oblivion Guards). I was expecting him to maybe try to hide in the station until it was all sorted out. But I was mistaken. Very mistaken.

You see, He instead shouted to the Guardians and kept riding.

>Help! I'm being attacked!

The Guardians, doing their job, saw a mob of people chasing a gnome on a Mastiff, and five of them ran after the group. I had lost all abiloty to predict his next move, so, it didn't quite hit me immediately when he said

>I want to lead them out of the city gates.

Then things REALLY went haywire.

>>49570820
He managed to sucessfully lead this group out of the City gates, and near the local giant-spider infested forest. So what does he do then? Why, he throws some fire into the trees of course! As a DM, I even asked "A-are you sure you want to do that...?" And he just insisted on doing so. Now, I could have made the commoners harder to lead on or something, but... I was morbidly curious where he was going with all of this, so they stayed. They stayed and kept chasing him after 15 giant spiders lept from the trees and trailed behind the ever growing mob.

Now he had a full small army chasing him, and I ask him what he wants to do.

>I want to lead them to the goblin caves.

The party just freezes. (For context: In this game, the main conflict is that the normally greedy and disorganized Goblin race have suddenly become Roman Empire-level of organized, and the players will eventually fond out why, but a mission they had recently done involved sneaking into a goblin cave fort.) And this madman wanted to bring a bunch of angry commoners there.

>>49570889
So, ONE MORE TIME, I offer him grace by asking him: "Are you SURE you want to do this?"

>Definitely.

Well, he got his wish, and began leading this group to the nearby Goblin caves.

Now, at this point in the story, there were possibilities for what he would find. Wither the defeat would have made them clear out, or get reinforcements. Not wanting to be either handing this to the player, or be a dick, I let a coin decide. I asked Gimble to pick heads or tails, and he picked tails. If it had landed on tails, the site would have been abandoned.

Would have been.

Because it landed on heads.

There, standing before him, was a Hobgoblin legion, and a prototype battle wagon that I had designed a few sessions back (metal plated wagon, pushed by hobgoblins, with an X-bow for distance sticking out of the Front).

And he just charges right in there, like the whole world was on his side.

>>49570981

Well, at first, it almost seemed like it was, because with a rather clever move with his familiar, he dropped a bomb into the vehicle, and it caught fire (now I know, familiars can't attack. However, they can carry and drop. Gimble figured this out).

Now, he was feeling pretty good because he had just burned down essentially the army's tank, but then he realized he was in the middle of a Hobgoblin Army.

"Roll initiative."

He was level 3 at this point. And was now up against 5 hobgoblins with ranged attacks and giant swords. Well, he played defensively, because after rolling a decently high initiative, he cast fog cloud and scattered spikes across the ground in a 5ft circle.

The hobgoblins were now reduced to flailing their swords in his general direction, and although a few hit, he was playing it smart.

And then he pulled a neat trick and thunderwaved all of them. Not a SINGLE HOBGOBLIN made the save, and that blast literally killed all 5 hobgobs.

And his Mastiff.

But it doesn't stop there.

>>49571041
So, Imagine you are a Hobgoblin commander. You see a horde of angry humans and some human soldiers charge at your forces, and your tank go down. You just aim for all of them for the most part. Archers stay in the rear, infantry begin an assault.

And then you see a thunderwave in the middle of a fog cloud kill 5 men. I don't care if you're a brilliant strategist or just a guy who knows how to hit things, but you'll know: "whatever that is, THAT is the biggest threat."

So, naturally, he sics the goblin mage after him, using a gust to blow away the cloud. Gimble decides to NOPE out of there, so he misty step's away, then sprints into the angry human mob. The goblin commander decides that this is the perfect opportunity for his archers, and signals them to angle to his in the crowd, then fire.

The arrows ripped down about 5 humans... and the heavily injured Gimble. He started trying to make death saves, and he suceeded one, but soon enough, the commander decided to end the threat once and for all. He chopped his head off.

Now, I felt a little bad for Gimble. It truly was his own fault, but to doe at level 3? Not a good feeling. So, I made his death something special.

"Due to all of the chemicals and contingencies you have worked with throughout life, the severibg of your head triggers one final, glorious explosion, blowing the commander back, and marking Gimble's end."

Now, I assumed that the schennanigans were over when Gimble ended, and his player took it like a champ. But he still had caused quite a mess with this army muck up, and that is not something a party misses out on.

They didn't make things any more sane for me.

Adding another voice in - OP, please continue. I wanna see where this shit goes. Ignore the dumbfuck whining about cartoons.

>>49571183
>schennanigans
wh

>>49571183
A little background, while this was happening, our Warlock was leading the party (minus the monk, he got dragged into a social obligation, which he clearly did not want to do, but I helped him catch up in XP with a sidequest later), and kept making religion checks. His player's background was one surrounded by religion, even led a small cult once, so he was doing pretty good (player is not edgy, but is a big Lovecraft fan, likely drew inspiration from that).

Now, since Gimble was dead, this army was approaching their area now. The Guardians had managed to rip down quite a few Hobgoblins, but their force (originally 50 Hobgobs) was still 38 strong. Suddenly, the Warlock decides to Throw up a giant illusion of the Goblin's Diety, the being of greed (Lord Crakkus is the name). And then he speaks in celestial while telepathically beaming the words to their head.

>You have done well, my many servants! Now, for your ultimate test! Throw yourselves onto your weapon, and through this act of devotion I shall grant you invincibility!"

I was stunned. Everyone was stunned. But I just calmly asked him to roll it. I never expected this.

He got a NATURAL 20. The group went nuts, I just, At that point I really gave up ever hoping for coherency, and so I set my digital dice roller to roll 38 d20s.

Only one of them nat 20'd to resist.

In that moment, a LEGION of Hobgiblins committed mass suicide. Along with 7 commoners who also failed.

>>49571312
Why would a shitload of goblins instantly believe something telling them to die just because they saw it? Why would it speak in celestial? Why don't you know what sense motive is? Why are you such a faggot?

>>49571312
>illusions are mind control
>look at all the wild shit my PCs get up to when I'm too stupid to know how things work
>aren't I interesting?
fuck off

>>49571312
I think the guys throwing themselves on their clubs probably would've survived.

>>49571312

There was a mass of bodies bloody chunks of Gimble everywhere, and the party was left alone with the Guardians and one human, while the Goblin Wizard (who was never fooled by the illusion) and the one Nat 20 Hobgob (the Commander, I decided), both teleported the heck outa there to report this.

Ah, but the Spiders were still a threat! ...for about 5 seconds. The bard and Barbarian both managed to inflict the Frightened debuff on the remaining spiders, so that kept them at a distance. Our barbarian, a dragonborn, used his breath weapon, while the warlock chucked his fancy powdered poison jars to deal some damage. Then he pulled out the big one.

A few sessions back, I made a potion that a necromancer was using to make supersoldier undead zombies. The Warlock took the potion, spent time in the background getting it analyzed, and eventually made one powderized grenade of it.

He handed it to the barbarian, who threw it, and it caused everything undead within a 10ft radius to grow super strong. But there was no undead there, anon. There were bodies and torn open spiders. And what this potion essentially does is repair and double damaged muculature. So, while bodies began to burst with a disgusting malformation, these opem wounded spiders half bloated to death as they breathed their last. The few who remained, the barbarian cut to pieces.


And with that... I didn't know what to say. My party had shown me a new side to gaming that day. I thought back to all the murderhobo stories from /tg/ and realized "wow... those guys aren't faking.

So that, my friends, is the tale of Gimble the "Wise," and the absolute mess he caused.
Sidenote. Literally all of this could have been avoided if he had just, like, actually tried interrogating the assassin suspects back at the hotel.

>>49571312
Well at least you aren't the biggest faggot in this thread.

>>49571406
Longswords.

>>49571419
>Frightened
Spiders are mindless you stupid cunt, they can't even be frightened.

>I thought back to all the murderhobo stories from /tg/ and realized "wow... those guys aren't faking.
>So that, my friends, is the tale of Gimble the "Wise," and the absolute mess he caused.

No, this is the story of a stupid DM failing to understand how things work and making a mess.

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>>49571419
I enjoyed the storytime. I don't really play D&D so I'm not triggered like some of the people in the thread. And hey, if not knowing some of the rules let you and your friends have a funner time than if you'd known better, then that's cool too.

>>49571348
>>49571401
>>49571441

Well, Never said I was a great DM, But I try for these guys. I do suppose that me screwing up did seriously contribute to the events that unfolded, but I can't much change what I've done now.

>>49571489
Don't worry about it, man, if everyone had fun you did good. Every table has its houserules.

>>49571489
Nah don't listen to him, he's just being a jackass. You're the DM, you make the rules. If one of those rules happen to be that giant magical spiders run away when shit turns south... Well, that's your call.

Thanks for the story time!

>>49571478
>>49571517
>>49571522

I'm glad that some of you did enjoy it, I know I enjoy reading Stories on /tg/ whenever I come here.

As for my mistakes pointed out above, I am trying to learn more about 5e as I continue, and, hopefully, if I ever have another share-worthy story, I'll have much fewer mistakes in it.

>>49571606
Thanks for the storytime, sorry your thread got shit on by a turboautist.

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>>49571348
>>49571401
>>49571406
>>49571425
>hey anon, I want to try to use one of my abilities to save our asses and prevent a TPK in a creative, unexpected way
>FUCK YOU IT'S NOT MIND CONTROL

>>49571441
And you. You're somehow an even bigger faggot than the guy sperging about Barney or whatever the fuck.

>>49571489
OP, you didn't screw up. You made their gaming lives way, way better. Good work :)

9/10 thread OP.

Why didn't a gnome with illusionist magic just go invisible?

>>49571441
Spiders also can' be gigantic. Their body structure simply can't get large enough to be 'giant'

Too bad this isn't fantasy, and magic isn't a thing, and it's not a fucking game.

Go play your own game, with your fearless, normal size spiders.

>>49571478
Why didn't this image get deleted?

>>49571606
Thanks OP, that was a fun read.

>>49571980
Because it isn't porn, you puritanical autist.

>>49571606
What's that old saying...
Hater gonna hate?
Keep doing what you're doing!
It's more about the fun and the stories.

Lol cool Story m8