Excuse me, Commissar, but I was told that all new recruits have

The soda-flavored poptarts were a mistake.

>>49553652
I have such a weakness for fudge poptarts.

>>49553700
I'm with ya there friend. Those and the smores are pretty godlike.

>>49553504

You have failed me anons i demand quality original shit posting, we already have a guardsman edit. You can do better than this.

>>49553756
Silence yourself. We're talking about poptarts now in case you didn't notice.

>>49553734
Smores are great. Anyone else dip pop tarts in milk?

>>49553776
I fucking love the chocolate poptarts, but is it just me or is it always that one is never enough, but two feels like you just developed diabetus?

>>49553805
Absolutely. Though I do it a bit differently. Eat a chunk of the poptart, then drink some milk at the same time. It's really good and doesn't dry in the mouth.

>>49553819
No I get that.

Butter on a pop tart is a forced meme

>>49553652
>>49553700
>>49553734
>>49553776
>>49553819
>>49553831
>>49553834

SILENCE RECRUITS! As MUCH as it warms the cockles of this old, tired heart to see you enjoying the fine, FINE rations the Emperor saw fit to feed you DOGS, it is My Solemn, Sworn Duty to oversee and safeguard the well-being of the Imperial Guardsmen in my charge. So recruits...

YOUR FAT ASS IS HAVING TOO MANY POPTARTS! DROP AND GIVE ME 100! SECOND MAGGOT TO FAIL TO GIVE ME MY 100 WILL BE DEAD! THE FIRST WILL WISH THEY WERE!

Ahhh... to be shouty at you mangy soldiers warms my heart...not the cockles, though. Something else, and farther down. I haven't BLAMMED anyone for a long time....

*Strokes gun sensually*. I'm glad I have this coat on.

Well, I'm waiting maggots...GO!

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>>49554424
>ERPing

>>49554424
I'd rather not.

>>49554498
>>49554501

BLAM! BLAM!!

Oh...that was nice.

Now, recruit. I understand you have a drug sample for me?

>>49554540
Uhm

N...no.....

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>>49554540
>>49554424
Now that's some serious autism

>>49553805
Smores are shit lad

>>49554628
>Smores are shit

Don't

>>49554626

Well, head back to the barracks and wring out your pants, that'll do! Use this mug. No, it's not the regiment XO's, it just looks like his. Leave it for pick-up in the HQ tent. Someone will get to it...eventually.

>>49554656
Yes sir!

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Brown sugar master race. Strawberry, blueberry, and fudge will be accepted as worthy vassals. All others will be purged.

DEATH TO THE UNFROSTED.

>>49553954
>butter on poptarts
Pic extremely related.

>>49554540
I shit on my cornflakes and eat them, what the fuck do you do in the morning you bald queer?

Poptarts are absolute shit, and the only people I know who eat them are generally disgusting, eternal virgins. Not joking here, they have zero respect for their body and tend to be socially awkward.

>>49554694
Squatz and oatz.

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>>49554694

Kek.

>>49554694
I drink the blood of innocents.

>>49554732
Your mom isn't innocent you period sucking armoured fuck

>>49554788

Your sister was. She kept yelling your name and going "No! NO!!" a lot though.

>>49554825
my sister wasn't innocent you retard, she burnt puppies alive, also how the fuckc did you get into the mental hospital

>>49554907
I understand how you made the mistake, but your house isnt a mental hospital. Your room is fucking creepy, though. The little fort made of Yaoi body pillows with strap-ons speaks volumes.

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>>49553504

That's quite alright, Guardsman!

OH NO! It's the dreaded urinorks leading a WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZ. Piss in their mouths to establish yourself as the wetboss!

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>>49554957

>>49554957

READY! AIM! Fiiiirrrreee!!!

>>49554957

god fucking dammit