>The party's healer starts demanding exorbitant fees

>>49457921
"That's nice. Get the fuck out."

Find a healer that wants to pull their weight in the party without being a dipshit.

This goes for any party member. While asking for stuff like paying for rezs after the fact(The cost of the dust and all) is legit, anything outside of that? Fuck off.

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>The party's healer is stabbed to death in their sleep and their player throws a fit

>>49457921
Well, then he doesn't get his part of the loot, we aren't paying him twice for one job

>>49457921
>the party's warblade tells the cleric that he has to start paying him exorbitant fees for protecting his ass

>>49457921
Shit that never happened for 200, Alex.

>>49457961
>"Heal thyself, physician"

>>49457921
>The party's fighting man starts demanding exorbitant recompenses for every wound sustained

>>49458014
>the party's magic guy starts demanding exorbitant fees for.. honestly the party isn't sure, but it sounds important
>also he threatened to turn the party into newts

>>49457948
You're acting like good healers are a diamond dozen.

>>49457921

>Party tells healer they'll pay him in semen only
>Better get working if he wants his fee

>>49457921
If all the party members demanded exorbitant fees for their services, wouldn't those fees be covered by the loot?

Isn't that that what treasure hunting basically is? A group with valuable skills combining said skills in exchange for pay (via looted riches) that would seem exorbitant to the standard commoner of the setting?

>>49458094
They pretty much are.

>>49458094
They're hard to find as a weevil in a haystack.

>>49458067
>the party's sneak guy starts demanding exorbitant cuts of treasure for not just taking it while they sleep
>steals it anyway

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>the party's healer is a 4e Intelligence warlord with 8 Charisma who "talks so good" that people's wounds magically seal up without scarring, even the unconscious fighter's injuries!

Explain this, 4rries.

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>>49458190
>Walk it off

>>49458105
It really depends on the group and the individuals.

Typically, the unspoken agreement is that the loot is divided evenly into shares, but there's plenty of other arrangements possible. One person might be hiring the other party members so that they get a fixed amount regardless of what they find, or special monetary awards might be given for taking particular risks.

It's one of those things that sort of make me want to sit down an adventuring group before they start adventuring and have everyone sign a charter, with simple things like payment options along with protocol for situations like taking hostages. It seems like a good way to avoid conflicts later in the game, though it sounds like it would mean the game starts with one big argument.

>>49457921
this is my party
not even joking, this is literally a player in my party

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>>49458268
>but why

>>49458182
>Party ranger starts demanding exorbitant fees for every animal yiffed into submission before combat.

>>49458235
IMO, if the group is the type to vehemently argue over loot, you can't stop them from doing it.

A good bit of IC wage haggling isn't even all that bad. Even if it results in the dickass rogue jacking reclaimed holy items from the paladin and planting them in the necromancy-dabbling wizard's knapsack. At least they're roleplaying.

>>49458305
>Party bard starts demanding exorbitant fees every time he opens his mouth.

>>49458094
Autocorrect or retarded?

>>49458382
It's a doggy dog world out there mate, you have to be willing to say a diamond dozen.

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>>49457992
>another jackass on /tg/ can't just enjoy an idea and would rather act like a cunt calling it fake

>>49458212
>8 Cha

>>49457921
>tfw Cleric
>tfw I start charging for heals
>tfw they gotta pay.
Feels good man.

>>49458464
Stop posting stupid ideas.

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>>49458534
>other people's fun isn't as good as mine

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>>49458521
Wouldn't that conflict with a traditional Cleric's alignment?
>pic related either way

>>49458521
I'd kill you in your sleep and spend your share of the loot on healing items.

>>49458555
My fun is calling your fun stupid.

>>49458588
Well, whatever floats your boat I guess. Maybe you could do it a little quieter though?

>>49458645
>you're having fun wrong

>>49458555
>checked

But still, using anime reaction pics with each post really hurts an argument, no matter what you're arguing for or against.

>>49458683
I'd argue otherwise.
Anime reaction pics are practically a necessity of civil discourse. It ensures that no one thinks anyone is being overly serious.

>The party barbarian starts demanding exorbitant fees for every rage

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>>49458680
>pic related
>>49458683
I'l endeavor to do better in the future, anon

>>49458521
>Healer demands money per heal or up front rather than as a share of the treasure
>Agree, but sign a contract that is binding with their patron deity overseeing it
>Become the star wars trilogy of adventuring parties
>Laugh all the way to the motherfucking bank

>The party bard starts demanding exorbitant fees to stop playing

>rogue says he'll spot you the 500g if you pay him 50g now
>when you finally get injured he charismas his way into saying it was a "pre existing condition"

>>49458711
>If you don't pay him, he gets angry about it and rages anyways.

>wizard starts demanding exorbitant fees to stop inserting his magical realm into the game

>his magical realm is transformation and vore

>Be designated party healer
>Refuse to wear any form of armor
>Rush enemies, forcing party to save you and get hurt in the process
>Make them pay for heals
>repeat

>>49458850
do you also refuse to wear any form of clothing?

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>>49458835

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>>49458835
I can deal as long as it's not hard vore.

>>49458864
that costs extra

>>49458555
>>other people's fun isn't as good as mine
That is correct. Some people are wrong and they should feel bad.

>Party Fighter starts charging exorbitant fees to give the wizard her components back

>>49457921
I recall there was a thread a week or two ago about making an ancap character.

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>>49457921
>the fighter starts demanding "protection" money from the healer

>the mage starts demanding payment from the healer for every spell cast

>the thief starts demanding payment from the healer for every trap defused
>the thief also starts stealing from the healer and using it to pay his fees

>the GM starts demanding payment from the healer's player for every game session he runs

>the whole party stops giving the healer a share of the loot because he's already being paid in fees

>the whole party just murders the healer in his sleep

>the gaming group kicks out the healer's player

>the gaming group murders the healer's player's loved ones

>leaves a note saying "lol you gotta pay", along with a bill for all the healing he charged them for

>>49457921
Everyone pays up because he's a multiclassing monk/Thief with the healer feat and can run away whenever he wants.

>>49457921
That's what you get when you bully the healer constantly.

>>49458374
>Bard's mouth gets taped shut

>>49458805
>Social skills don't work on PCs
Whoops.

>>49459021
>The bard is psionic and proceeds to project the song via psychic transmission

>The GM starts demanding exorbitant fees for each rock the party doesn't want to fall

>>49458094
>>49458179
hey man, you just gotta get the turnips in heat and they'll perk right up

>>49457961
>>49458585
>>49458986
>implying the healer wouldn't mortally wound everyone else in their sleep and then charge them for heals

>The party Toreador starts demanding exorbitant fees to turn off Majesty.

>>49457921
>The party's extradimensional storage starts demanding exorbitant fees or it will turn into a bag of devouring (but never when a foe reaches for loot).

>The paladin's god starts demanding exorbitant fees for smites

>>49458094
You might be without a healer for a little while, but it's worth it to nip this behaviour in the butt.

>>49459101
>The GM starts demanding exorbitant fees for "premium" quests

>>49458190
>some illegitimate child of Krod becomes a healer
>"I roll intimidate"
>DM: "that doesn't make sense"
>"That wound knows better than to not be closed"
>DM: "fine, but only on a 20"
>Suddenly, the Orc cleric who screams at his allies to heal them becomes known across the land.

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>>49458705
We know exactly where an argument gets overly serious.

>>49457962
Best answer.

>>49458822
Well technically the pay would be for the /targeting/ of the rage, then.

>Lizardmen ssstart demanding exorbitant feesss to ssstop hisssing

>>49457921
Tell him not healing me is a breaching of the NAP and throw him a jar of re-creative alchemist fire.

>Dragon starts demanding exorbitant fees to attack countryside.

>>49457921
>mimic starts charging rental costs to person who takes loot
>goblins charge entry fees for dungeon
>money charges handling fee to be picked up
>immense, world spanning air elemental hooker charges for permission to give it constant fellatio and withdraws its air if people don't stop sucking it into its lungs without payment

>>49458534
Stop being a sandy dry cunt then

>Goblins starts demanding exorbitant fees to form raiding parties
>Hobgoblins forced to entrepreneurship to maintain warmachine.

>Owlbears start demanding exorbitant fees to be posted in "stat me" threads

I hate healer threads.

What's so fun about shitting on the people that take care of you and have the most stressful job in the business? We do what we do because no one else will and its also the easiest way to get a group.

You are all just as bad as the entitled soccer mom that shits on McDonalds employees to make herself feel better. But at the end if the day she's getting beaten and raped by her husband while the McD kid plays video games and eat junk food.

>Elves start demanding exorbitant fees for their glitter farts

>people complaining about how they DESERVE socialised healthcare

get insurance

>expecting the healer to earn their own money apart from the party
ALWAYS tip the healer. And thank them for their calcium.

>>49457992
Fuck you mate, I've played with that guy. He was a dildo and the game ended faster than it should have.

>>49457921
My sister wants to play a Lawful Evil cleric next session with this kind of mentality. I kinda think it's a fun and unconventional idea to have a completely mercenary and mercurial healer in the party.

>>49457962
This is the best answer in the thread I've seen.

1gp = 1hp is hardly "exorbitant"

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>>49458190
>Explain this, 4rries.
I have prepare for this day

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>>49457961
Well if he was thrown of a boat while wearing full plate, then do you know what I would have done when I looked at his player?

It would have raft.

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>>49458835

>>49458067
>>also he threatened to turn the party into newts
Come on man, you know we'd get better eventually, don't you?

>>49459035
>The bard is then driven into the ground like a tent peg by the parties half-giant Blacksmith-turned-barbarian.

>>49461850
Please try to make jokes relevant to the conversation.

>party druid starts demanding exorbitant fees to stop inserting his beastiality magical realm into the game
>DM has him torn to shreds by a polar bear
We were in a forest in the middle of summer.

>the cleric reveals that he has already donated everyone's money to charity

>>49463066
>charity being the local bordello, with payment in kind

>>49463132
>female rogue is uncomfortable in saying where all her money came from and blushes hard every time the cleric winks at her

>>49463132
>On his taxes he has listed Charity as a tax deduction.
>That's her name, Charity

>>49457921
>wand of cure wounds + use magical device skill = one poor healer.

>>49457992
When I was just starting out, I made a cleric and was asked to create a backstory. I wanted a Neutral god so that I could heal but also create skeletons, because back in 2e animating dead was considered to be an Evil act, and healing was considered to be a Good act, and the only way you could do both was to play a Neutral character serving a Neutral god. But the only Neutral god I could think of a story for was the god of Money. So I actually proposed a cleric that required a coin from party members for the healing to work. I actually made a heal-whore.

>>49463247
>the only Neutral god I could think of a story for was the god of Money
Not the God of Healing?
>People must be healed
>Even if they would rather die
>Even if healing would leave them in a state worse then death
>Raising the dead is also fine because there are now fewer dead

>>49460551
A dick is a dick, regardless of whether or not it shoots healing jizz.

>>49457921
>noticed the rogue always takes more than their share because "rogue tax"
>be a ranger and started doing this
>party getting salty as fuck since I'm the only "healer" in our group of me, barb, rogue, fighter, and evok wizard
>rogue tries to kill me in my sleep
>run away with my superior ranger-ness
>then always track the party from then on during the day and hide at night, due to rolls am apparently ever only an hour away from them at most
>they start fights with bosses/enemies they can't take with their numbers
>see them falling or running away
>pick them off if they run away and stabilize them, taking their shit in the process
>attempt to weigh damaging the enemies to keeping the party just strong enough to not die on me if they stay
>then swoop in, almost kill them, stabilize, steal
>this has happened for three sessions in a row
>they are getting furious
>rogue is especially assblasted for reasons I can only imagin
>say that yeah, sucks when someone takes more than they earn isn't it and leave their bodies in a safe place while I bury things that are too heavy for me in a memorable place and hide once again

No idea why but the DM is still allowing this after, now going to be, four sessions and no one has left yet. I'd feel bad but it's honestly really fun.

>>49458680
How quickly the tides turn

>>49460551
>le millennial thinks his job in fast food is hard
just wait until you get a real job

>>49465652
Mcdonalds is significantly harder than real jobs though.
I meab, fuck, my wheelchair job was 80% playing on phones, and my office job is kysh as fuck.

I would never work a mcdonalds unless i had no resume.

>>49465791
I dunno man, when I worked there it was 90% leaning on counters an 10% doing one thing so simple tards could do it.

>>49465652

I have a friend that works in a company that writes software for medical use like hospitals and shit.

It's literally a daycare for adults.

Ge goes into work whenever he wants, works to no real strict schedule (deadlines are there but not hard to meet), has two meals made for him by chefs that are literally employed by the company to feed the employees all day, and he can leave basically whenever he wants.

He got ahead on his work one month and essentially just went in to work to eat, use the gym, and chill at his desk browsing and listening to music.

This guy gets like 70k/yr.

Not all "real" jobs are hard. You don't have to walk around carrying 70lb sacks around all day for 50hr a week to be proud of money you earn.

Asshats that talk about how hard they work all the time are fuckin insufferable. Yeah cool. You're dying and barely getting compensated for it. Good Job? What response do you want? If that works for you, great. Doesn't mean my choice is inferior, especially if it works for me just fine.

>>49465839
When i was there it was almost 100% working fries and grease burns.

Every job since has been significantly easier.

>>49465791
It isn't McDonald's, but at my fast food job I do next to nothing, spend half the night shitposting or watching Netflix, and everyone still says I'm the hardest worker there. They even tried to make me a manager.

>>49457921

>playing with libertarians

Well, you'd have to wonder why libertarians are playing a game about mutual cooperation against opposition to begin with. Monopoly is more their speed.

>>49465893
>>49465839
>Cashiers get the easy job while i am slaving over hot fryers
>Go on to tell everyone how so easy~ it was

This behavior infuriates me and i am glad i moved up.

>>49465927
I'm a cook. I've never once been at the register. The most I see of a costumer is when I go up front to refill my drink.

>>49465927
>implying cashier
>implying your not just lazy and exaggerating how much you actually did
>not only did i have to lift a 10lb~ bucket, I had to salt and packagw the fries too
>inb4 muh grease burns, after a month your skin gets semi fireproof.

>>49461023
Same thing really, only you get to choose between insurance companies.

I played someone in a modern game who was described as a specialist mercenary for hire. Also a mechanic who ran a repair business on the side. Of course I want to get paid. I took out a massive loan for all the equipment I have from people you wouldn't want to owe a nickel.

Hell, the debt was her flaw.

>>49457921
>the fees are in semen

>>49465965
>>49465958
Then i guess i was just working harder than you guys, because i got none of this dicking around time you guys claim.

>>49466022
>>49465965
>>49465958
I think the source of this confusion is that fastfood work is hell if you have a busy establishment, but not otherwise

>>49458268
Around the same here in my now ended Star Wars campaing, althou he was also the stripper, buff as hell, honey-covered, that could wrestle down a Rancor and also could pretty much punch people easily to death type of healer.

Then they cloned him, a lot.

>>49457921
>an anon starts demanding exorbitant fees for continuing to read the drivel in this thread

>>49466164
I DEMAND to be that anon

>>49457921
Run a quick HP-per-cost calculation of their offer against Wand of CLW / box of Stimpacks / bottled fairies / setting equivalent recovery items. If that comes up favorably, it's a deal. If it comes out even, I'm willing to side with the healer.

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>>49458190
>yelling at people to get their shit together
Unheard of, I know.

>>49463450
If this is real. Kudos.
Technically doesn't destroy the game and everyone gets to play normally, but one day you gonna botch that hide check, boi.

>>49457921
I actually remember one dude who built a 90+ year old man healer. He charged everyone outside of the party and arm and a leg for basic diagnosis of their injuries.

He would also bless out the party for being such absulute shit that they get hurt at all. Then complain how terrible of meat shields they are and if they die he is out the door to find the next more competent guys.

>>49459021
>the Bard gets an erection

>>49463450
You're going to end up beat to an inch of your life soon.

Not your character.

YOU.

>>49463450
Nigga, you've gone from just being an asshole to actively attacking the party.

How the fuck you think this is going to end?

The sound of fees being paid attracts more zombies

>>49469640

Referencing old threads attracts more zombies.

>>49469640
The zombies demand more money for being attracted

>>49459534
>"premium" quests
>worth double XP and an extra roll on the random loot table
>only way to get a Holy Avenger

>>49457921

>Inviting ancaps into your games

First mistake

>>49457921
What if, instead of money, I demand they apply some fucking strategy so I don't have to heal so much in the first place?

>Party hacker starts demanding exorbitant fees for each second in the matrix

>>49457921
> Oddly 'helpful' LE wizard that makes magic items for the party at 60% market value. Consistently delivers on purchase orders.
> Has a legal license to practice necromancy. Is followed around by a retinue of skeleton bodyguards in Scale Armour. Said licence costed 600 gold. Each skeleton cost 155 gold.
> Hands the party healer an invoice every time cleric channels her skeleton bodyguards to death.
> LG cleric legally obligated to honour the invoices.

>>49458521
>that heal when

>>49469317
Kill the Rogue and bribe the rest with all the loot you've hidden until now, claiming you had hoped they would get the point before it came to this?

After paying someone to curse all the good stuff that they would put on, so you can kill the rest of the party too.

Because fuck them.

Did you miss the part where the rogue tried to kill him in his sleep first ?

All part of playing an evil party.

>>49462596
Not having a cleric in full plate and a shield

>>49471492
Oh, no, one PC attacked you, so you constantly attack the rest of the party.

At that point, no, they're going to kill you. I loathe PVP, and my every thought is going to be on how to kill you, because they literally can't ever trust you. Never once. Not after that unbelievable amount of horseshit.

>>49471361
>all of those parodies and comedies were right
>heaven and hell both share the burden of paperwork

>>49457921

>hire an NPC healer, and pay them the same price just to spite the party's healer.

>>49457948
Our healer started doing this and the party let her die, and my ranger took on healer duties(physic skill is good plus I get healing grass wraps)

>>49458521
lol you would get thrown out of my game so fast i wouldn't even have to roll an excuse for it.

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>The healer starts a business

>>49475687
That's torture.

>>49475692

Not if you knock out the cow with magic.

>>49475744
>Not if you knock up the cow with magic
FTFY broski

>>49476623

wut?

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>>49457921
Emilia-tan, pls leave.

>>49475687
Is that a tree of savior strip?
The clothing style of the cleric looks familiar.

>>49457921
>tfw your party has a charter all members sign in order to declare, among other things, their understanding of which services rendered are funded from the communal share, which are personally funded, and which are transactions between individuals seen as outside the purview of the party charter
>tfw medical assistance including the healing of injuries and removal of disease, curse or toxin through spell, potion and poultice are explicitly listed as being a party service, with the cost of material resources being deducted from the communal share unless said infliction is directly caused by another party member, wherein they are responsible for the cost of removal plus a single month's share which is summarily forfeit to the afflicted member as recompense

It's like you guys aren't even proper mercenaries or something.

>>49476703
I still don't get it. Emilia did like nothing for Subaru compared to Rem, but he still loves her the most with the reasoning "in a different timeline, she saved me from being mugged." Rem hunted down evil magic dogs to save Subaru, held off the evil magic whale to save Subaru, crawled across a cave while all her limbs were bent in weird ways to free Subaru, inspired Subaru to save people instead of being insane, and shared a whole lot more romantic moments with Subaru. Like, I could understand him picking Emilia for main girl reasons if they actually ever did much together, but Rem had so much more of a presence just to end up secondary. They should have either had more Subaru-Emilia interactions or just have him pick Rem instead.

>>49476861

I recall hearing about some evidence in the novel which suggested that the curse was responsible for Subaru loving Emilia.

>>49476703
I'm voting for the 5th one.

>>49476888
>A curse makes you want to slamdunk that half-elf booty instead of cute oni meido and possibly her sister
Such dreadful existence

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>>49476861
I don't know about the manga or LN, but the anime sure did make Rem look like the objectively superior option.

>>49476970
>Not voting for based Crusch-sama
>Not wanting to kick all the corrupt politicians out of the country, and only allowing those who manage to crawl back into the kingdom covered in the blood of other politicians return

>>49477194
>Rem:Zero.jpg

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>tfw can't get away from Re:Zero even in completely unrelated /tg/ threads

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>>49457921
Pic related is a very easy solution.

Then you just have to find a healer that isn't an asshole.

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>>49478038
Don't worry, everyone will have forgotten about it in a month or so.

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>>49478038
Could be worse

>>49478164
>that
>worse
Konosuba was basically Slayers 2.0, that's totally ontopic. I actually wasn't totally aware that re:Life was fantasy at all outside of its Groundhog Day setup before now.

>>49479432
ReLife is an entirely different show about a failure 27-year-old that takes a drug to look 10 years yoinger and goes to high school again because why not?
You meant Re:Zero.

>>49457921
Pay them in sexual favors only explain that is the way of your people go in to graphic detail about your tribes gross fertility ritual and then talk about how coin debases people

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>>49475692
The trick is finding someone who doesn't mind.

>pointless one line greentext shitposting thread that contributes absolutely nothing to the board
>the board's janitor doesn't demand fees for his services

>>49458190
He explains exactly why it's illogical that the wounds wouldn't heal, and the universe takes notice.

>>49458521
>TFW party healer starts charging for each wound healed.
> TFW as party rogue I lock the door from the outside, leaving the healer stuck in a room full of trolls.
> TFW sneak back into the room later to loot from the flattened remains of the healer.

>>49480391
I really want to bite her now

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>>49476996
>>49476888
I am always frustrated when a side-character ends up with far better chemistry with the MC only to lose thanks to first girl privileges.

>>49461880
> Asterix and Obelix

>>49481930
>tfw never get to travel across a silly version of rome as a bunch of savage, hard partying gauls.

;_;

>>49457921
>Unheal them

Anyone with a weapon can do it.

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>>49466338
>8 Cha
>yelling at an unconscious dude
>REVIVAL!

Explain this.

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>>49483117
>cleric's face when

>>49458942

Agreed. People who try to make out it's just taste/opinion are people who know they don't have a good justification and are trying to make out that there's no argument to be had.

>Cleric gets amulet to make her healing addictive
>Proceeds to try and make entire party her slaves
To top it off
>Also tries sleeping with everyone in the game
>tfw was girlfriend at the time

This shit is why girls don't get invited to tabletop games. Ruined a lot of friendships there.

>>49457986
>>49457961

lol

>>49458014

unforchenetly yes

>>49458105

maby just skim some off the top for my book keeping fees

>>49458268

some one played a merchant in one of my games and did nothing but sell things to the rest of the party at a large markup. i was his body guard and got a discount

>>49476861
The witch is most likely actually emilia (or rather she is the avatar/reincarnation of the witch) so it might be that she's bringing him back from the dead over and over.

>>49471580

This is why, in my 2-session horror campaign involving mind control, I didn't make the controlled aggressive toward their friends, they recognized their friends but had compulsions. Allowed them to still play friendly but be incapacitated temporarily until the enchantment broke.

>>49484889
Mind control is a bit different, but that's still a pretty good way to do it. Nice one.

File: Lack of explosions.jpg (104KB, 592x739px)

104KB, 592x739px

>>49478164
>could be worse
>saying the patron saint of evoc mages is worse than anything re:zero

The fuck