>Player accidentally rolls dice onto pizza In all seriousness,

>>49425842
RITUAL
SUICIDE

Clean the dice.
Eat that slice.

dishonorable sepuku

>>49425842
desu I probably wouldn't care, but if you got a germaphobe in the group than take the piece and eat it yourself or throw it out so they don't have to worry.

>Player drops his d10 in his Pepsi
>Again
Goddammit, Steve!

>>49425842
>Pluck dice from the pizza
>sensually lick every drop of sauce from the die
>make sure to make eye contact with everyone at the table as you do so
>identity the most virtuous female at the table
>if there are none, the man with the most feminine penis will do
>delicately place the die in the palm of their hand
>make sure there are drops of saliva to ensure they get a firm grip
>tip your fedora to precisely 34.7 degrees and invite m'lady to roll for you

I guarantee panties will hit the floor at mach speed.

>>49425875
this is the correct answer

>>49425970
>panties will hit the floor
If you did this at my table, it'd by my fist hitting your face.

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>>49425875
This

Unless it's pineapple pizza

Then throw the slice out the window

>>49425842

Throw out the pizza. Throw away any contaminated dice. Politely ask everyone to leave. Stand in the corner facing the wall contemplating the transience of life until nightfall.

>>49425996
You're just jealous Bruce's penis is more feminine than yours.

>>49426012
What have you got against paradise fruit, anon?

Clean the slice.
Eat the dice.

>>49425996
Sorry I can't hear you around all the cocks in your mouth Mr nofun lala lulu homo man.

>>49425970

Thousands dead?

>>49426057
Pineapple is the finest of fruits.
Fruit doesn't belong on pizza.

>>49425842
Weep, for another die has fallen to the Pizza Gods.

>>49426135
So why do they make pizza sauce from tomatoes and tomato paste?

>>49426135
Explain tomatoes.

>>49426164
>>49426167
>tomatoes
>literally Exception: The Fruit

>>49426164
For the same reason you don't put tomatoes in a fruit salad.

It may fit the definition of a fruit, but for all intents and purposes, it's a vegetable.

>>49426164
>>49426167
Because they're botanical fruits, but culinary vegetables.
We're talking about cooking, so we're going with culinary.

>>49426280
>botanical fruits, but culinary vegetables.
So it's a tranny of sorts?

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>>49426135
> Not enjoying the salty/sweet tastes of pepperoni and pineapple.

The hell is wrong with you?

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if tomato is fruit
and potato is vegetable
what is pomato?

>>49426207
Olives, then.

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>>49425875
>Clean the dice.
>Eat that slice.

This anon knows what's good.

>>49426328
Maybe he has never found the lifechanging combination of pineapple onion bacon pizza yet?

>>49426328
I prefer cherry or campari tomatoes. Still adds a bit of sweetness and contrast with savory and spicy flavors, but it's more of a 'sure thing' for texture.

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>>49426328

You people need to be taken out back behind the chemical sheds and fucking shot.

I will smash your infant children against the killing tree myself and I'll make you fucking pick the milk teeth from the bark before you die.

>>49426345
The pomato fruit (the red bits) are still fruit & veg, the tubers (the potato bits) are just veg.

>>49426280
"Fun" fact: Eggplants and pumpkins are also both fruit and vegetable.
Pepper too, and those are obviously great on pizza.

>>49426430
>Pepper too
Derp--meant 'peppers'; that 's' makes a difference

>>49426417
Anon, when did the psychiatric ward get wifi? It's ok you can tell us. We won't let the doctors know you have access, promise.

>>49426345
A sin.

>>49426328
>implying pineapple on a pizza tastes like anything except pineapple
maybe i want to taste other elements of the food, anon

>>49426464

Oh, they know.

They're just too scared to do anything about it.

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>>49426417
Internet badass right here.
I,want to be just like you.
Teach me your ways.

>>49426517

You got a shit bucket?

>>49425842

Great, another modron lost to the protean wastes of limbo.

>>49426135
> I wont i wont, eat green eggs and ham!!

No food at the fucking game table.

>>49425842
eat the dice?
Yeah, eat the dice.

>>49426528
You think I'm rich or something? I paid for the pizza that fucker just dropped dice in.

>>49426447
Actually, peppercorns are also a fruit*. They're just fermented and dried.

*Except, I believe, pink peppercorns which are, if I remember correctly, something different. Or they might be a different species. I forget. Oh, and Sechzuan pepper is actually a flower bud.

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>>49425875
Objectively wrong.

Just eat the splice.
The extra condiment is your penance.

>>49426207
>bell peppers, olives, banana peppers, chili flakes
>literally you fucked up

>>49425842
Disregard possible faux pas. Clean dice. Eat slice.

>>49426135
Apples go well in sausage.
Maple goes well with bacon.

The idea that fruit/sweet and savory shall ne'er mix is a blinkered delusion of little minds.

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>>49425875

>>49425842
>Lift slice with corresponding dice
>Eat the slice and the dice
>Pause game for whatever length of time necessary before you shit out die
>Clean, dis-infect and roll to resume your session.

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>>49428673
You motherfucker

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>>49425970

>>49425842
He must eat the pizza slice.
DICE.
INCLUDE.

>>49426049
MY PENIS IS THE FEMINIST.

make a bad pizza roll pun and then roll again

>>49428658
>Maple goes well with bacon.
disagreed

as a LEAF I definitely like maple on many things, but I hate it on bacon. Bacon doesn't need extra flavoring. Bacon is better as a bachelor.

>>49426345
Impractical.

Those are greedy plants that require extremely rich soil to get any decent harvest to say nothing of the skill needed to graft something with such a watery stem.

Also it's two plants Frankensteind together so nothing changes. Tomato remains fruit. Potato remains vegetable.

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>>49425842
>In all seriousness, what does proper decorum demand of a man here?

>>49425842
GET ON THE BIKE

TIME TO D-D-D-DUEL

>>49425875
But what if the player was rolling multiple dices and accidentally scattered them all over the pizza? Disregarding his stomach's potential capacity, he can't very well eat it all since it will make everyone angry.

>>49433264
Then his only polite option is to offer his fellow players his dice.

>>49433264
Hara Kiri

>>49426135
I take it you dont like peach and pear pizza with grape sauce and dried mint?

>absolute pleb

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>>49426012
My group always orders a pineapple pizza and it is always the first to go. I dont understand all the hate it gets its pretty good :^)

>>49428673
This is how I Chaotic Evil.

>>49433510
It's a meme, Anon.
A witless line perpetuated by people looking for a lazy in-joke without application of personal or genuine shared experiences.

>>49426319
Not really, scientific and culinary classifications are completely different things. In scientific classification there's no such thing as "vegetable", it's purely culinary distinction.

>>49433264
Well, we know who's buying the next pizza.

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>>49429412

I once rolled a die with conviction. The thing bounced and landed in the DMs wife's cleavage.

He declared it a nat 20

they're his dice so I don't care. he's not getting any other pieces til he eats that one, though, because I know for a fact that fucker doesn't wash his hands.

>>49433775
I've had pineapple pizza and it's revolting. I'd rather eat my own sick.

>>49426378
>onion
>with pineapple

Jesus christ, pick one, onions do not work with fruit, ever. pineapple and bacon yes, but not onion too. it's like you don't know what flavour is!

>>49435183
Okay man, but I'll hold you to that if you and me are ever trapped in a lift for 48 hours with nothing to eat but a pineapple pizza.

Because I'mma be on that shit like Donkey Kong.

>>49437326
Not that Anon, but Onion powder goes pretty well with fruit.
Onion also goes well with anything in sauces or broths.

>>49432320
>it's two plants Frankensteind together
But Anon, that's the best part.