>Find brigands who assaulted our party and killed our hireling

>>49192707

You know, evidence *and* you being a Paladin would have helped an awful lot.

You're trying to do the thing women do where they accuse a man raped them and the man goes to jail purely on their word. This never happens.

>>49192707

What kind of paladin are you that need the guards to dispense your justice?

>>49192707
How do they know your not lying for someone elses benifit?
Or your wrong?
Or your a fallen palladin?
How is your healing/paly miracle diffrent than a wizards version of it?
Why should the gaurds care?

>>49192707
>I'm a paladin and I'm literally incapable of lying for my own benefit

No, no you're not. Everyone has the choice to lie for their own benefit outside of magical effect/geas. Free will is a thing, you can always break a personal code otherwise.

>>49192707

> actually using the word Paladin in-character

> citing obtuse game mechanics in-character

I bet you think the average town guardsman knows how many times a day you can smite, too.

Because that is borderline meta-gaming, lad.

Also, conflict, if the GM had just given you justice on a plate, where is the fun in that?

>>49192707
>allegedly adventuring warrior of holy justice
>vengeance mission
>first instinct is to run crying to the guard about the bad men who hurt him

No wonder they don't think you're a real paladin.

>>49192787
Admittedly, if the DM has decided that Paladins in his world are incapable of lying, then refuses to let the PC benefit from this in one of the few cases in which he would benefit, DM *is* kinda a shit.
But there's a lot of supposing going on with that scenario.

>>49192745
OW, the edge!

>>49192775
Wizards can't heal and divine and arcane lists are very different.

The question is; How would the guard even know what a fucking paladin is? I hate this thing when a class is a 'thing' in game.

>>49193148
Priests can heal, and they can lie. Rangers can heal and they can lie, heck stupid bards can too

>>49193148
Let alone which spell lists all these groups can use.

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>>49192707
>rando guard knows what a paladin is
knowledge religion DC 10 from this 10 INT warrior
>rando guard is aware of that particular part of the paladin code
knowledge religion DC 15 from this 10 INT warrior
>rando guard can distinguish a paladin from a cleric, who is under no such obligation to not lie
knowledge religion DC 20 from this 10 INT warrior

This is all assuming
>you are not an illusionist
>you are not a paladin as well as one the various other classes that heals/does exactly what paladins do, and therefore can be a paladin, lie, and still do a miracle

You are only slightly better than a normal eye witness. If you can get the local paladin order to vouch for you, then that goes up. If this region dislikes magic users, you are WORSE than a normal eye witness.

Bottom line, that isn't really adequate.

>>49193148
Also, how the bleeding Hell is a guard going to know that. He most likely doesn't even know what a paladin is.

>>49193237
>If this region dislikes magic users, you are WORSE than a normal eye witness.

I could understand a region hating arcane magic users and distrusting their accounts, but you're never going to run across a nation in a fantasy setting that dislikes the god-appointed magic users.

>>49192707
Someone in my group once played a bard/blackguard like this. Except they had enough social skills to convince guards.

>>49193266
What's a "paladin"?

>>49193237
>cleric, who is under no such obligation to not lie
Lawful good clerics should lose their powers for lying.

>>49193542
But neutral good clerics can have lawful good gods. And for all the guard knows you could secretly be CE and pretending to worship a LG god

>>49193237
So the point is, if rando guard won't help, go see his boss?

When we were last playing fantasy, knight had decree of authority that he could prove himself with. Was helpful on plenty of occasions. At the very least even if the hoodlums you're dealing with can't read they will recognize the seal of local baron.

>>49192975
Yes, with this exception the DM definitely a shit. Agree, quite a bit of supposing, though.

>>49193612
There are very few prerequisites to be a paladin, to my knowledge. You CERTAINLY don't need to be a formal knight. And what it means to be a formal knight is highly variable, regardless.

>>49193542
>cleric, who is under no such obligation to not lie
A) that really depends on the god
B) how can a guard tell a LG cleric from a CN cleric? again, using some healing magic suggests you could be anything from a LG paladin to a CN oracle to a NE bard.

Just because you arent lying doesn't mean you are correct.
For all those guards know, you barely saw the brigands, and you see this guy sitting in a tavern wearing the same hat as one of them, and your emotionally distraught brain makes a false connection

ITT:

>Find brigands who assaulted my entourage and killed my escort on the road hanging in some tavern in nearby town
>Guards! Those guys are highwaymen and they murdered my men!
>"What proof have you?"
>I'm the duke who owns these lands and you're compelled to obey me
>"HA! We need better proof than that!"
>Proof of what? Proof that I'm the duke? Here, let me produce my heraldic badge, on the spot, demonstrating that I'm indeed who I claim to be
>As in like, this seal has been passed down from father to son since my line was founded
>"That proves nothing of your case!"
>Okay, let's ignore for a second that I am capable of proving that I'm the rightful lord of these lands with a wave of my hand and am therefore required obedience from you, does the fact that I am providing an eyewitness report from the perspective of a man of noble blood carry no weight in this investigation?
>"Stupid noble no proof hurr hurr hurr"

But how would the guards know what the duke looks like?

How would they know what his family device is?

How would they know what a nobleman is?

How would they even know what color the sky is?

What if they're feeling especially rebellious that day?

What if one of them has a wart on his balls?

>>49193713
>There are very few prerequisites to be a paladin, to my knowledge. You CERTAINLY don't need to be a formal knight.
Our setting didn't have paladins at all. My point was more along the lines that having some official writ could be helpful with proving your authenticity.

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>>49192707
>not dispensing justice upon the enemies of good yourself
What kind of paladin are you?

>>49192975
>DM *is* kinda a shit.
You know, this is the whole problem here.

>>49192707
>guards

>>49193848
>nobleman = a particular kind of mage
peasants have to know what mages are
peasants generally know fuck all about magic

>>49192707
Typical procedure in the middle ages:

1. Person makes an accusation
2. Brought before the lord (or the church, depending on circumstances).
3. Guilty until proven innocent. Relying mostly on eyewitness testimony.
4. If proven innocent, the one who bore false witness gets punished severely
5. If the lord can't decide, there may be a fight to the death or somesuch.

>>49195854
6. If all else fails, start bidding for innocence.

>>49193309
>never going to run across a nation in a fantasy setting that dislikes god-appointed magic users

Well fatguys, seems like we have a job to do

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Just punch them and their friends to the ground. They're being that obtuse, they might as well be in league with the highwaymen.

>>49194593
It seems stranger that there are all these deities across the world with so many champions running around who specifically fight and act (often very publically) on the terms set by their god's code and no one's settled on a word for all of them in stories and documentation.

What about 'paladin'?

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>>49192745

Wow, that was a standing leap into that.

>>49193237
What the fuck does "rando" mean?

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>>49192707

Dude, just torture the men until they sign a confession, or if the guards won't accept that, make the thugs undergo an ordeal, trial by fire (where they must press their buttocks three times upon a red hot plough share's metal blade) or by boiling water (where they must sit three times with their bare asses in a pot of boiling water) are generally good because you can basically severely injure the trhugs and then leave them in the care of the guards who have to work out whether the resulting injuries from the ordeal are severe enough to mark them as guilty.

You know, get medieval on their asses..

(witnesses and oath are the other main ways to detirmine guilt - in a fantasy setting with magical paladins you basically hold a holy symbol or book and make the men swear an oath upon punishment by the holy symbol's respective diety that they are innnocent, and if not they'll likely be punished or get fucked up in some way if they're lying, or have the rest of your party attest to the murder.)

>>49193089
OW, the reddit!

>>49196459
Random

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>>49196459

>>49196545
Why omiting the last "m"? For what purpose? They already went on a lenghty paragraph, so it's not to save space.

>>49196103
But that also covers Cleric, or fighter/mage or a bunch of other stuff. And how many DnD paladins are there likely to be realistically in a world? Not a whole lot. Also not all Paladins even have gods

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>>49196467
>Making someone swear on a holy symbol means they'd be divinely punished on the spot

>>49192929
>Because that is borderline meta-gaming, lad.

Fucking how? Would it be borderling meta-gaming to wave a sword in someone's face and say you could them with it too?

Lot of fucking cuntrarian fags in this thread.

>>49197234
>People disagree with me
>They must just contrarians
Don't get mad that people are pointing out your roleplaying skills are subpar.

>>49192745
he did imply that in that setting if a paladin lies he can't use his divine powers, yet he clearly used them so he can't be lying.

>>49192707
They just impugned the honour of a knight of *insert god here*.

This constitutes blasphemy, and their sentence is also death.

This is how I "Lawful Good"

>>49197185

Does the paladin not have a direct damage causing spell?

>>49197665
I guess the paladin could attack them with magic, but that would require a bluff check, no?

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>>49197687

Nope, just get them to start saying the oath and then hit them with the holy book.

>>49197028
random = adjective
rando = noun

exmaple: "he's a rando"

like a friendo

>>49197829
>"Why did you hit him with a book?, Was that god's will"
>"Why aren't you answering me?"
>"You're just sitting there"
keked at that filename tho

>>49192707
The gaurds think its ridiculous because some random guy walks into a bar and says that some other patron is a highwayman, and then claims he "cannot lie". Just because a paladin can't lie in the setting doesn't mean that

A. The gaurds know that
B. Could feasibly lie about being a paladin

If a police officer arrested someone and threw them straight into prison without a trial because he saw the perp commiting the crime (and the perp did commit the crime), he couldn't say he did it because he "cannot lie" (as a police officer), and knows for sure that the perp is guilty. That isn't evidence. And even if it was taken in as evidence by the guards in this setting, just like every legal action in the world there is some form of trial. Some trials are more fair than others, but generally speaking, one piece of evidence still leaves enough reasonable doubt in a legal arbiter's mind that he cannot in good conscience persecute the man in question. Furthermore op's presented case could be easily thrown out if the highwayman suggests that the paladin is simply mistaken and that they are probably looking for another guy. If this is infact true (which its not) not only is the Paladin not activley lying by the Highwayman is also innocent.

Op if you seriously believe that being able to tell the "absolute truth" from your perspective immediatley grants itself as evidence, go to a courtroom with an wristband that tells if what you think you are saying is true, and testify. Wait a second, I just realized that people in courts are ALREADY SWORN TO TELL THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH. So even in real life, when someone claims that they are telling the absolute truth that a defendant is guilty in a courtroom, the defendant may still get off innocent. How are you ignorant of basic legal skills you can't even comprehend that?

>>49193309
Wew
>you're the chosen champion of a god that isn't the patron god of this nation
>your pantheon is too old/new for our culture
>the Duke has banned worship of your god due to a group of their worshippers attempting to usurp him
>omens pointing to your god being angry for the last decade have been brewing and have increased in momentum as you arrived
All good hooks for antagonising the party holy man that doesn't break fantasy genre

>>49192707
'Cause you could've been a cleric. They can lie and keep their powers. Also you were metagaming hard so fuck you deal with it bitch.

If it were me I'd strip you of your powers for refusing to cooperate with the justice system like your paladin code "LITERALLY" forces you to.

>>49198206
>Stripping someone of powers for disagreeing with a guard
Jesus you're an awful GM, even worse than the whiny paladin.

>>49198264
Don't project your butthurt for your GM onto me, OP.

>>49198307
I'm clearly a different anon, seeing as I called the paladin whiny, but you're either too stupid to have noticed, or more likely you like acting in the most caustic way possible, but lack the wit to do it in a somewhat unique manner.

>>49197630
Very Gygaxian of you

>>49198394
Hey, in a world where good and evil are outlined in black and white, it's a pretty intuitive decision to make.

Divine Mandate > Temporal Authority

>>49198388
>I'll pretend I'm not OP to make it look like someone else agrees with me.

OP, please.

>>49198438
I'm actually a little curious why people act as retarded as you. It's clear I'm not the same person, you and I both know that, anyone reading what I wrote would know that, so I seriously want to know why you act like you knowing are retarded and are unable to understand basic English. It's not really trolling in anyway, it's not proving a point, so what exactly do you gain?
Are you just so pathetic and attention starved that anyone talking to you, even someone just pointing out how retarded your acting, makes you feel good and happy and cared for?
Again, I'm not even being sarcastic, it's just a thing I see a lot here, and never understood it.

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>>49192707
wait.... weren't you this guy?

>>49192253

>>49195854
Don't forget the accused is tortured.

>>49192707
You should have just informed the guards at the town entrance that you are a Paladin of X Knightly Order; that you personally witnessed some men attack your party and kill a man in cold blood, you are looking for them, and that when you find them you will exact justice. Tell them they can help or clean up the mess when your done.

Being a Paladin is being the law as much as obeying it yourself.

>>49192707
Probably because a normal guardsman wouldn't give a fuck about your creeds or your gods unless they were his own.

>ctrl + f
>"duel"
>zero results

>hiding behind "the law" instead of enacting sweet justice
>paladin

If there exists no evidence other than your word, prove it with your body.

>>49193309
Actually there's a region in Golarion, pathfinder's setting, who does just that.

>>49193541
originally, royal guard. palace and paladin have the same roman origin.

>>49192707
We don't recognize your heathen God round these parts

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>>49195854
Let's not forget there may not even be a standing police force or a "town guard" either; and even if there was one they'd probably be more on top of taxation/tolling or preventing fires rather than responding to complaints.

To even bring the accused to trial you usually had to round up your own posse of thugs to get him, but I doubt OP's game is that historical.

>>49192707
>why does my GMs keep insisting on these stupid "investigation" sessions that I should be able to completely bypass by invoking divine authority in any internally consistent setting?
Because your GM is still thinking in 21st century logic and sensibilities, rather than the more appropriate 12th century.

It's a more common problem than you might think.

OP is failing at something most people learn before they hit 10 years old.

Other people don't possess the same information as you. Even if you aren't lying and know your information to be correct other people do not.

The guard could take your word for it and just straight up arrest the highwaymen, but presumably acting as a rational human being he is going to want some kind of proof before taking any action further than notifying his superiors.

A guard is not necessarily an investigator, a guard's jurisdiction lies within whatever he is guarding. Town guard guards a town. You cannot reasonably expect a random beat cop on the street to investigate a murder that occurred a county over even when the suspect is within his jurisdiction, even when you are physically pointing at the person who committed the crime.

Why does being a paladin mean everyone has to take your word at face value? If anything a paladin SHOULD do his best to present evidence in accordance with the requirements of the law.

>>49200602
Strange that you picked the century right at the beginning of one of the largest reorganization of legal systems in Europe and widespread re-adoption and modernization of Corpus Juris Civilis, the very fucking foundation of Western legal tradition culminating in the Common law and Civil law systems prevalent in the secular world today.

You literally picked the one fucking century where "21st century logic and sensibilities" were becoming the norm in justice in western and central Europe outside of the Canon Law of the Catholic church, and the parts that retained Norman and Visgothic traditions.

What the hell, man.

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>>49192707
That's pretty dumb, but for myriad more reasons than you're upset about.

In a typical fantasy setting, a Paladin would hold more social weight than some random vagrants dressed. Assuming that you all look the part for your roles, a guy walking around in shiny fullplate would just command more respect than a bunch of guys in fur hats and leathers. They'd probably take your intent as honest.
Even so, unless you're living in a particularly cut throat setting (which in a medieval setting is entirely possible and would invalidate this next point), that's not how prosecution works. They would still want proof, and unless you were already a well known and established hero or nobleman of the community that you are specifically turning these men into, the guards aren't just going to do what you say regarding them.
However, they still would have taken the brigands in for questioning, or held them prisoner while awaiting evidence, at least for a couple days, because hey, these are potential highwaymen, you can't just leave that shit running around. So at the very least they'd hold them for a few days to look for evidence before letting them go -- which, incidentally, the DM could have spun as an excuse for you to actually go look for evidence, giving you a neat little sidequest. But he didn't.

So basically you're both wrong.

>>49193237
>Bottom line, that isn't really adequate.
The paladin in question has a remarkably low melanine count in his skin.

It's not like anyone ever went to jail because somebody with a low melanin count said that they were the criminal. That straight up never happens.

>>49201771
>look for evidence
okay, here is the dead body. We saw them stab him. Case closed.

What "evidence" do you even need?

>>49192707
>the town guard is being unreasonable
>HURR DURR THAT'S UNREALISTIC TOWN GUARDS ARE FLAWLESS BASTIONS OF JUSTICE AND REASON

Whine harder, OP.

>>49197845
Except no self-respecting person would say friendo.

>>49202189

Except a sekusu-furendo

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>>49200820
21st century logic wasn't a thing until late 1800s.

I love reading up on 16 century witch trials
>Accuse some asshole who knows the law
>Asshole throws together a appeal letter to the actual central authority(a full 3 weeks travel away from the place)
>6-7 weeks later, the central authority delegation arrives, frees him, and then do a re trial where he is freed
>Also purges local legal system for not bothing to read the law

>referencing game mechanics in-character
I hope those guardsmen fucked you like a young cleric woman who had previously been trapped in a staff, but was just released and turned down for sex.

>>49192707

Considering evidence in ye olde time was literally people saying "we think this guy is guilty" or "I don't think this guy is guilty", your GM has done some pretty poor research op.

>>49202353
I don't think paladins being incapable of lying for their own benefit is strictly a game mechanic.

>I'm a holy warrior guys. I literally cannot tell a lie.
>I'll even perform a small miracle if you don't believe me.

>>49197396
well how the fuck are some random guardsmen supposed to know that? Even if there is this general sentiment that Paladins can only use their power if they aren't lying, how does anyone who isn't a Paladin themselves going to be able to confirm that claim? For all they know it could be just some bullshit Paladins make up to give their claims more credit.

>>49202365
>a medieval fantasy setting has to mirror every aspect of medieval Europe

Your argument is basically "if chainmail, then shitty legal system", which is unsustainable.

>>49202368
For this to be accepted as true the Paladin class has to exist as a game artifact in-setting

>>49202398

Knowledge: Religion check.

>>49193148
>Wizards can't heal and divine and arcane lists are very different.
I bet every guardsman has read the players handbook.

>>49202398
Its too early in history for widespread atheism, anon

>>49193148
Being an ordained agent of the church would mean that you are highly respected and are considered to have honor beyond reproach in most normal circumstances.

>>49202455
>Its too early in history for widespread atheism
Show me YFW you realize that you were born to late for the Hellenistic period.

>>49202473
>dnd takes place in the hellenistic period
Only in your shitty homebrew

>>49192707
Lawful neutral guards.

>>49202483
Chaotic Evil guards.

If they were shown the body and rejected the eyewitness testimony of a holy knight, I would immediately assume they were being paid by the bandits to turn a blind eye.

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>>49199185
this intrigue intrigues me.

>>49202117
You're right. It never happens.

>>49202499
>Implying a lawful neutral person would even consider anything "holy" without further investigation and bureaucracy.

>>49192847
In a fantasy setting, at least few classes would definitely be well defined things in game. Like wizards, clerics, druids, and paladins.

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>>49192707
Obviously magic can't enter the court of law, else the whole process would be jeopardized by mercenary wizards forging proofs or "proving" the innocence of their protegèes.
Go find some real proof and we'll talk, "paladin".

>>49198206
how was he meta-gaming anon? In character he would know he can't lie. In character he would know divine magic is different from other forms of magic. Where's the meta-game?

>>49192707
Cast Zone of Truth you nincompoop

>>49198530
Fucking roasted.

>>49202643
See
>>49202471

A paladin shouldn't even need to use magic to be listened to.

I am curious what people think "real proof" is. I have the feeling that this is CSI effect.

1. The body is proof that there was murder
2. Eyewitness testimony IS proof. It is also (then and now) a higher form of proof than circumstantial evidence.
3. The authority of an agent of the church should carry a lot of weight, since the average commoner would be VERY religious.

Do you expect a signed confession?

"Ahahaha I am the one who knifed that guy! And the guards are so stupid they threw out the case for no reason at all!
-t. Bandit"

>>49192707
The guard thinks you're a faggot and they're lying to you for shits and giggles

>>49192745
>it's the first post...
Give it a rest, yeah?

>>49192707
What kind of sissy paladin need guards for righteous vengeance?

But seriously, you're metagaming. Remember the golden rule that you'll hate if you aren't DMing. PLOT TRUMPS RULES. Furthermore, not every guard is gonna swoon for pallys. Not every guard is going to agree with your god(s). And how do they know you aren't a Blackguard with some sort of divine trick? Being a Paladin doesn't just give you INFINITE LEGAL AND SMITING PROWESS.

>>49203049
>since the average commoner would be VERY religious.

MY RPG WORLD NORMS COUNT FOR ALL RPG WORLD NORMS WAHHHHHHHHHH

>>49203124
Caps lock is how idiots make themselves noticed.

>>49203049
I'm not sure what kind of proof they'd want.
Dead body? Oh yeah sure, bandit's never seen that guy, of course.
Blood still on the bandit's sword? Well see, he was attacked by wolves.
How the fuck would they check on this at all?

If that had happened IRL (minus the miracles or impossibility to lie, ofc) would be that the bandit'd bribe someone to get out of it, or if not, get tortured until he confesses, and if he doesn't, there'd still be eyewitnesses, and he'd get fucked regardless.

>>49202909
>>49198530
samefag

>>49203145

Attacking someone's posting style is how idiots deflect criticism.

>>49192707
They're colluding with the bandits. Make them pay the blood price.

>>49203220

Bastard, make me kek out loud on the train.

>>49203263
>criticism
What criticism? You need to post actual criticism before you can say this.

>>49203049

Medieval law held Witnesses and Oaths to be roughly equivalent, though people accused of things that involved evil oaths would generally not be allowed to make oaths.

>>49192707
>things that never happened: the post

>>49203304

I'm not that anon. And now you're in denial too.

His argument is that your premise is unsound because it's a generlization that may not necessarily apply to a given fantasy setting. You know this as well as I do.

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>>49192775
God did it

>>49192707
My anti-paladin didn't have this problem when I told them I was a Paladin and they should take me at tier word. I did some magic to back it up, too. They believe everything I said. Even burned the noble I accused of demon worship. Of course they found out later that I lied.

Guess they learned their lesson about listening to people who say they are paladins and prove it with a few spell here and there.

Sorry the npc's in your campaign aren't bending over to take your holy staff up their asses... try DOING something other than bitching.

>>49203374
So you're saying, in your shitty homebrew, this is a regular scenario:

>Be a guard
>Full time job is to protect the peace
>A heavily-armed gang of thugs moves into our small town where everyone knows eachother
>they cause trouble and make everyone uneasy
>A HOLY KNIGHT (and if for some bizarre reason the "holy" part carries no weight, then simply a law-enforcing KNIGHT), comes in and accuses them of murder
>Shows you the fucking body.
>Nah this doesn't merit an investigation

Your homebrew is shit. In any reasonable world, those bandits, and those corrupt guards, would end up with heads on spikes.

>>49203149
Wel, it depends on your game but physical evidence might facilitate a known and trusted spellcaster from the town you're in or a travelling justicar to use magic to make a ruling. You're expecting that they'd hand over this authority to you but that actually undermines them. Your Paladin and his lawful alignment should recognize this and willingly work within their system if it is actually a lawful one.

Otherwise you get travelling paladins undermining their legal system, travelling fighters undermining their military leaders, travelling bards recant in their history, travelling wizards putting the local labor force out of work, etc.

>>49203421
>any setting that deviates from the narrow view I have is shit


Have you fucked yourself lately? It seems you're due.

>>49203421
Why would being holy give someone legal authority by default? There are lots of gods in a typical D&D setting, the vast majority have no association with the law. Assuming there's a developed legal system in place an outsider isn't going to come in and have some kind of jurisdiction simply because he happens to be a devout worshiper of some god, unless it is some kind of theocracy based legal system and you happen to worship the same god, but even then without an attachment to the local hierarchy and system assuming one has legal powers might be a silly thing to do.

Anyhow, this is a silly thread. The story in the OP from the guards' PoV is:
>chilling on duty
>some out of towner starts yelling at me that a couple local tavern rats murdered someone even though I don't recall any murders in town lately (murder was explicitly stated to have taken place out of town after all)
>starts telling me that he's some kinda fancy pants wizard or something so I have to believe him, and that's all the proof I should need
>then he shouted at the sky about railroading or something for a bit.

So yeah, silly thread. For all the guards knew there hadn't even been a murder, much less that those men were responsible. Being a weird assertive stranger who goes around demanding people listen to him is more likely to get you accused of being a murderer than someone who is just minding his own business. And of course, assuming that random npcs understand class mechanics is idiotic.

>>49203421
>Inb4 "those bandits are good citizens and never caused trouble except that one time when they stabbed that one random guy. Also, they are all well-dressed and well-mannered; the church has no authority, holy men are hated and all judicial matters are decided at the town-soldier level".
Because this extremely ridiculous combination of circumstances are what it would take to get out of this.

>>49196865
He was too pure for this world.

>>49203562
DnD is a henotheistic setting, meaning that people respect all the gods (and fear the evil ones) but only have one as their patron. The followers of other gods are still respected.

If people in your setting literally have no idea what a holy man is, and can't spot an armed thug, then it's a stupid setting.

>>49192745
>You're trying to do the thing women do where they accuse a man raped them and the man goes to jail purely on their word. This never happens.
You're implying women can't lie to benefit themselves, whiteknight.

>>49203604
Respect does not mean automatically giving them legal authority to them you muppet. As for your second point, yeah, those guards could recognise an armed thug, one just came up to them and started demanding they arrest someone.

>>49203562
It did in real life so some people can't stretch their imagination to consider it doesn't happen in every setting.

It's not a silly thread. OP's silly for falling into the group described above but the tread has value in that it points out that there is another way to consider it...

Maybe his GM wasn't clear or something and, at the very least, OP has learned what questions he should ask his GM before presuming things in the future.

>>49203575
Too late
>>49203562

BTW, there is a difference between asserting you have legal powers, and coming forward as a witness to a murder.

Literally all OP did was make a murder accusation, with a body to back it up, that for some insane reason doesn't seem to be enough proof that a murder was committwd. Dunces arguing against this seem to have the impression that he came in and said "I'm the lord of this town now".

>>49203604
You know, murderer isn't a look, right?
Those bandits could have left their weapons at home for all we know.
Also an armed thug sounds a lot like a PC.

> then it's a stupid setting
>If it doesn't follow my specific portray of DnD's world religion

Also even during the dark ages, some Christian Monk's word wasn't enough proof

>>49194137
As opposed to what?

>>49203628
>legal authority
what legal authority, you retard? He is coming forward as a witness.

Why is that difficult for you to understand?

>>49203650
Once again

>those bandits were good boys who didn't do anything wrong except that one time they ambushed a group of travellers and stabbed one to death

What fucking kind of bandits just move into town and don't cause any trouble, except for the one single time it affects the PCs? They would quickly build up a reputation.

And any setting where people don't behave realistically or rationally is a stupid setting.

>>49203650
>Also even during the dark ages, some Christian Monk's word wasn't enough proof
But if he was able to show an actual, physical, recently stabbed dead body, that would be more than sufficient proof there was a murder.

Jesus, why is this difficult for you?

>>49203691
>They would quickly build up a reputation
Then they'd be dead.

>realistically or rationally is a stupid setting.
I didn't know it was realistic to believe whatever someone with a holy symbol says.

>>49203724
He never said that, and even if he did that would be enough for an arrest, not a conviction, which the paladin with his "My word is irrefutable" seems to believe.

>>49203764
Without anyone able to vouch for the bandits, the word would be enough. They didn't have CSI in the middle ages. If the paladin's honor is in question, it would be a simple matter to send a messenger to <insert name of town PCs saved from goblins> to prove that they are honorable people.

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>>49192707
Daily reminder.

>>49203804
P.S. and it would be a trivial matter to show the law to the body

>>49203738
>Then they'd be dead.
Yes, they would. The townsfolk were lenient enough to begin with to let a strange band of miscreants live among them for any length of time without driving them out.

>>49202444
No but at least one of those guardsmen has had at least one person in their life get sick and or hurt. They wouldn't know it as spell lists, but they would know it as seeking out the church, or Bill the court wizard will call you a retard and throw his used underwear at you if you ask again.

>>49202572
some shit ass town guard sees aura of holiness and the casting of a miracle, but won't believe it as such until they go through the scientific method to prove it was holy.

>>49203804
But that's where your wrong. You know they had a legal system in the middle ages.
Also
>Paladin's honor
I'm assuming your suggesting that they know he's a paladin and what a paladin even is.
>>49203821
Yet, the paladin probably didn't think to do it.

>>49203841
What makes you think they're openly thuggish in public? Criminals do have the ability to present a not criminal facade.

>>49203374
a paladin, given powers but the holy and divine. which means there are gods. they exist and anyone who can deny the gods from interacting with the populace are stronger than that god.
somehow the common people aren't going to know about this when the god's major function is getting as many people to worship it as possible.

>>49193309
>you're never going to run across a nation in a fantasy setting that dislikes the god-appointed magic users

In our current campaign:
>generally benign church of sun god acts as the government of an entire nation
>cultists have been murdering priests left and right, and attempts to hunt them down have been ineffective
>a massive crusade is established to deal with the situation
>"crusaders" constantly burning down villages and killing alleged witches and tieflings and generally terrorizing people without making any real progress
>party cleric dealing with growing distrust among people we meet

>>49203947
So this feller claims God made him Magic?
Sounds like a wizard in denial to me...

>>49203917

>Legal system
literally based around accusations and tesimonies

>knowing what a paladin is
>>49203913

>paladin didn't think to do it
Guard asks: where's the body
Paladin says: follow me

Unless for some unexplained reason the paladin refuses. The guard in OP refused to even acnowledge that there was the possibility of a murder.

>not openly thuggish
So they dont lurk around the woods outside of town? Carry weapons? Occasionally show up inexplicably carrying big bags of gold despite being crude, uneducated lower-classes? People don't disappear or get robbed around town ever since they showed up? Etc.

So these aren't bandits at all, but fucking wizards or ninjas. Because if they were bandits, people would start to realize that there was mischief going on.

>>49192707
youre a fucking dumbass OP. Oh yeah, you meander on into some town, "Look I'm a Paladin see! I can't do anything wrong! Believe me because I'm a Paladin!!!!"

Unless you held actual noble rank and were well known in the land for your deeds and actions then why would anyone take your word?

>>49192707
>"What proof do you have against me other than word?"
>"Thought so."
Or if they insist set the fools aflame. Clearly they're evil.

>>49204009
a god made him magic, which is more comparable to a cleric.
someone who worships one of the tangible gods of good. and you believe that's he's lying about the stabbed corpse he's showing the guards because why

>>49193848
You know why roman emperors had their face on coins minted while they were in charge?
So that everyone would know who they were.

>>49192707
Just because you're not lying, doesn't mean that what you think happened was the truth.

For all they know, an evil wizard used some illusion spell on you and your hireling is just hanging out in his evil tower.

>>49204026
Yeah, and which random group do you listen to?
The one who has lived in your town (assuming they do) or a random guy who just came in and said, without a body even, that there was a murder?

>>>49203913
So you're saying if a bard said the same thing it should be proof, as there's no real way to tell them apart from casting alone?

>So they dont lurk around the woods outside of town? Carry weapons? Occasionally show up inexplicably carrying big bags of gold despite being crude, uneducated lower-classes? People don't disappear or get robbed around town ever since they showed up? Etc.

They don't caught for it at least. In any sizable town there's going to be enough people that people won't automatically assume it was this one group of people.

>>49203804
>the word would be enough
Nah, they would at least want to send someone out to look at the bodies to verify that something had actually happened. And then ask around as to when and from which direction the bandits entered town. And then interview eye witnesses and secondary sources and ask them to provide some kind of oath. And then detain the bandits and figure out what their deal is and act accordingly. And then all relevant parties would be called to court overseen either by the owner of the land the crime took place on, their appointed representative in legal matters, or an appointed representative of a higher titled power which was not strictly necessary in many jurisdictions, but most landed nobility didn't like it when people meted out justice on their estate without their approval.

By coming in and saying "you are going to arrest those people because I am the authority in this situation" you are probably going to piss the people who are the actual authority off pretty hard.

Even before Jurisprudence was reintroduced as a common factor in Middle Ages legal tradition around the end of the 12the century people still possessed the ability to employ rudimentary reason and method in service of justice.

>>49204103
that's not a good reason to refuse investigating a murder outside your town, especially when you're a town guard. whatever murdered that person could be coming for your wife next.

>>49204067
Clerics are just wizards too.
Ain't no tangible gods, just balmy wizards.

>>49192707
Why do you insist on trying to use a paladin oath to not play what the dm is clearly trying to make a semi investigative game.

Your a paladin, you of all people have to know that you cant simply hold your word higher then any other. Then you go down the slippery slope of having other people be lesser to you.

>>49204124
On the other hand, saying "I want to open a murder investigation" and the guard going "nuh uh, I don't believe you" is the most ridiculous thing imaginable.

Did the guard arrest the accused? Ask to see the body? Do anything? If not, he's the type of person the lord would punish for incompetence.

>>49204110
bard's use arcane magic. as far as I can tell the different types of magic are visibly different.
and maybe the fact that bards don't travel around in shiny armor covered in holy symbols.
and regardless there's a body, obviously murdered outside of a shit hole town. someone shows up who looks like they can handle things show they can cast magic and you're not even willing to consider their opinion.
let's not forget that this guardsman is living near a potential murderer and so is his family.
what reason does he have for not putting effort into it.

>>49204133
yeah but this wizard only gets powers from being good to people.

>>49204226
>visibly different
And that's common knowledge...?
Every dirt farmer has "ranks in spellcraft"?

>>49204247
According to him.
He's just a feller.
Fellers lie.
Why'd he act so good if ee ain't 'idin' summat?

>>49204257
well i think the holy light show that kind of looks like when my cousin sick wife was healed at church as opposed to wow those are some pretty fireworks.

>>49204278
well you can disbelieve all you want doesn't change what he is.

>>49204283
Don't gimme that "Holy" guff just cause some balmy wizards say they hear voices from "gods".

>>49204226
This is getting into some meta-game, the class says so bs

>Arcane magic looks different
Firstly, why do you assume that, secondly why do you think a guard would really notice a huge difference even if they did look slightly different? Also how different looking can cure wounds be?

>and maybe the fact that bards don't travel around in shiny armor covered in holy symbols.
But it's not like monks (the profession) wear heavy armor, a bard could pass himself as a cleric. Most of the healers a normal guard would have met aren't armor clad warriors, but people in cloth. And why would a guard take the word of one holy man any less than another?

>and regardless there's a body, obviously murdered outside of a shit hole town. someone shows up who looks like they can handle things show they can cast magic and you're not even willing to consider their opinion.
Well I guess the paladin could bring him to the body, that would be a start. It's not like guards sense where murder is. Also how far out of town is this even?

>>49204283
>well i think the holy light show that kind of looks like when my cousin sick wife was healed at church as opposed to wow those are some pretty fireworks.

Bards cast plenty of spells regularly on divine spells lists though

>>49204298
According to who? Him and is gang of adventurers? Why should we trust em?

>>49192707
>>I'm a paladin and I'm literally incapable of lying for my own benefit
is this common knowledge

>>49204298
>meta game class says so bs
He called it >>49204315

>>49196865
A true hero

>>49203858
>They wouldn't know it as spell lists, but they would know it as seeking out the church
Because that's their usual job, while said court wizard has other duties.
That doesn't mean the average guards knows what a wizard is capable of and what not.
Hell, wizards actually can heal when they have the proper wand.

>I am capable of proving that I'm a Paladin with a wave of my hand
Bullshit. Being able to cast spells from Paladin's spell list does not, in fact, conclusively prove that someone is a paladin - and that's assuming that the guards can even be certain that the spell in question is only on Paladin's spell list.

>>49204315
he's not claiming to be a healer, but when you look at how a spell is described the holy ones are usually as a positive healing light or cleansing flame while arcane spells are described differently.
one has prestidigitation and one has thermalugy if we're talking d and d.
yeah they can pass off as others, but you're assuming they're lying from the get go. which makes no sense.
true, but the guards should care about murder outside of their homes. they're not guarding anything with that mentality.

>>49204392
Wizzerds eel all the time.
Jussat summuvum sez 'ey ere voices frum gawds.

>>49204339
because if he's telling the truth there's a murderer in your town that could kill anyone. you have an organization not like sending one person is going to leave the town defenceless.

>>49193148
>Wizards can't heal and divine and arcane lists are very different.

Wizards have ways to acquire spells not normally on their list. And there's always UMD.

>>49204125
The party's a bunch of travellers passing through, right? It might not even be your business, since the bandits might only be raiding the road.

Honestly I think the GM might have had the guards be corrupt and working with the brigands, and they were going 'no proof lol' since they didn't want to listen to the paladin. Maybe OP's GM wasn't being overt enough, but after that level of not listening I'd get suspicious.

>>49204407
See...>>49204366

>>49197845
That makes absolutely no fucking sense.

>>49192707
>Paladins cant do nuffin wrong

>>49204433
An if ees lyin then ees the murderer. Why we sposed to trust sum feller we never met afore oo sez ee speaks t gawds in iz ead?

>>49204207
He asked for proof.

In middle ages legal tradition an oath, vow, plight, etc., given on the street by some random guy to a municipal guardsman, or some other officer of law CAN BE PROOF and for lesser crimes that don't usually carry a death penalty an oath could be enough to detain someone on the spot. Oaths have special rules in a lot of cultures as to what is, or isn't an oath. Generally you are simply swearing to a higher power, usually the authority of the land you stand on.

"In the name of my god, in the name of the king, in the name of my order, in the name of the lord mayor, etc." may constitute oaths. Doing some paladin magic shit isn't legally binding, but it definitely should give the dude a better idea of your legitimacy.

That's all you need. This knowledge is available to anyone who has ever seen a piece of media with a courtroom scene, or passed a grade 8 civics/legal studies class.

I sort of interpreted the smarmy guardsman as asking for the one fucking thing that anyone would conceivably give him in that situation and getting frustrated when a fucking paladin of all people wasn't doing it. Of course the DM should have just thrown OP a bone and had the guy ask for one, but maybe the guardsman was legitimately being an asshole.

>>49204454
to a degree, it's more logical than anything. he's casting something to prove he's a paladin it's going to look holy.
in a world where holy exists and would be seen more often by the populace it'd be visibly different then a wizard casting most of their spells.
i imagine the colouring and feelings provoked are different too since they're coming from different sources.

>>49197845
Rando = not a word.

>>49203691
Maybe the whole ambush/murder was an accident?

>>49202155
Well, showing them the dead body would in fact count, yeah. If the rest of the party also backs up this testimony that would probably be enough.
OP doesn't really say what the other party members are doing, though, and seems to be relying totally on the "I'm a Paladin" defense. Are they just standing around with their mouths open? That would be pretty weird.

>>49204407
No, but he's claiming to be a divine caster, which a bard could almost as easily pass off as due to their divine like powers.
But bards have plenty of healing spells. 5e bards can even get Paladin exclusive spells.

Why would they have to be lying, a bard could think they get their powers from a god, after all they're innate spell casters so it's not like they really need to know how their magic works.
But my point is that if a guard were to trust a paladin, than a bard lying about the source of their power would also need to be trusted.

We don't even know how far away this even is though. But let's assume the investigate and throw the people in prison in the meantime, that doesn't really mean it will automatically lead to a conviction because the player is a paladin, which is the major issue here, that the player thinks being a paladin is enough proof for anything.
Should the guards look into it? Yes. Should they because some guy said he knew god so they should? No

>>49204486
possibly, but you can't protect the town by not doing anything. this person claims there was a murder and knows where the body is a who did it.
[and the easy answer is to have the paladin cast zone of truth and then talk to the men in question]

>>49204496
Jes coz ee sez iz white wibbly wobbly magic came frem gawds it dun meen it iz. Eez a liar an a murdererer ee is. bet ee finks is gawds telt im ter do it.

>>49204533
fair point.

>>49203659
Armed thugs under local baron's employ

>>49193148
Err

In Lord of the Rings & The Hobbit Gandalf is repeatedly referred to as a Wizard, Aragorn as a Ranger , Bilbo as a thief , Boromir as a fighter.

It's not that weird for somebody to call somebody by their profession. Are you against calling Blacksmiths Blacksmiths and Tanners Tanners?

>>49204496
>to a degree, it's more logical than anything. he's casting something to prove he's a paladin it's going to look holy.
But again, anyone could do that, even minor illusion can look holy, being an illusion and all.
Plus for all we know magic looks different from caster to caster, so a guard who has seen one cleric in his life isn't going to assume another is also a cleric by the color of his spell

>>49204543
who would the god of god, tell someone to murder someone.

>>49204537
We kin start by not lettin in these ere murder obos, afore they use ere magic t' muddle our minds. Wizzerds do that. Mek yer say summat yer dinnt say.

>>49204597
Yer tryna prove yer voices in yer ead are gods, thassa problem innit?

>>49203049
Yeah, sure. But if a sole eyewitness is the only proof available, not judge in the world will convict anyone on that basis alone unless they are pursuing an agenda. Doesn't matter how reliable the said eyewitness is considered.

>>49204585
yeah they could but how would some random know that a wizard can make his magic look holy.
if they have no experience with magic just seeing it and feeling it would give a sense of what that magics for.
it doesn't prove something but it does give him leverage. and yea op is wrong for thinking that being a paladin means everyone has to trust him, but what the npc's did was strange/stupid. and being a holy looking man in holy armor casting holy magic should illeciate some response from local law enforcement.

>>49204619
i dunno, ask one of the gods yourself if your so curious.

>Pedantry and assumptions everywhere
>The op wasn't even vauge, and brought up exactly what went wrong
I'm honestly expecting too much from here, I'm spoiled by the elder scrolls lore thread honestly

>>49204647
Eez anuvver bloody venturer come ter screw us all is wut we shud all be finkin.

Venturers arrive, Draggin warnin.
Venturers sod off, peesful mornin.

>>49204684
It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards

>>49204660
Owm I opposed ter tork ter voices in yer ed?

Why ain't the poffecarry givnim a trepanning...?

>>49204623
I think you severely overestimate the judicial systems of medieval societies. One trustworthy eye witness account may well be more than enough to convict somebody.

I mean in medieval England there was 'Trial by Ordeal' where you'd have your hand burned by scalding iron then bandages and if it healed within 3 days you were innocent and if not you were guilty. Other versions included near drowning the accused and of course Trial by combat. I figure a society that thinks that is a fair method of working out guilt would jump at eye witness testimony. (Which as an aside was used to convict a huge amount of people throughout history due to you know forensics being a modern invention.)

>>49204715
no god to the temple and ask one to come down. if you're good enough they might just do it.

>>49204708
Yer wot?

Look, if ere ain't no venturers around, we git no 'assle. Soon asey shows up, POOF, gobberlins un draggins un shady fellers in dark corners uv t'tavern.

>>49204757
...what if. those things where already around, and the reason why you pay attention to it is because those people are dealing with the problem.

>>49204744
Yoo soun' balmy. Go ter see the wizzerds oo fink gawds gevvum magic? Mebbe if I'm lukkee they casts a spell wot makes me madder'n a badger?

Yoo mussfink I wurr born yistday.

>>49199185
That picture is how it works on every level that matters, though.

>>49204793
Nah, they ain't there at all.
Soon as venturers pop up, so do all the orribull fings. S'like some mad wizzerd puttum ere fer the venturers.

>>49204838
that's amazing. why don't you ask the local king to just kill them all when they show up.

>>49202602
Fuck no. Wizards are an enigma. You think that the common person knows at all how magic works beyond >sometimes the wizard comes down from his tower and lights things on fire?

>>49204890
Wot, the venturers? Kings sof onnum, lessum in ter see im easy peasy. We orta buil a wall, mek disere kingum greet agen.
>>49204907
Ere's a folk oo knows.

>>49195854

>trial by water, fire, combat, or the hot irons
>god decides

FTFY.

>>49192707
There is a very big difference between railroading (ignoring reason for your shitty plot twists) and giving the party direction (Oh look stranger, this has happened and I need someone to assist me!)

Unfortunately the two have become indistinguishable through the lazy practice of slinging the term around at the drop of a hat but the fact is that this is straight railroading. Your GM wants you to 'investigate' something and he's butthurt that you found a way around it. A LG paladin (or any Lawful Paladin, really) has a great deal of legal weight in a classic medieval setting and therefore should already have some degree of authority over local guards.

>tl;dr - your GM a shit

>>49204728
A lot of the time trial by ordeal functioned on the idea that a person who agreed to stick their hand in boiling water, or walk across hot coals, or otherwise injure themselves in the name of their innocence was a just and honest person, and so the trial may have been fixed so that the accused may pass.

You also never go straight to ordeal, oaths and wagers of law had priority unless the accused wants otherwise.

>>49204960
Whyiss stranger frum outter ere gut fority over folk wut urr king uv decreed urr good folk? Wut rite sum stranger gots over guards wes know un trust? At eres sum ferterlizur, 'tis.

>>49203913
>muh holiness
How the hell is the guard seeing an aura of holiness? Does he have Detect Good or some shit up?

>muh miracle
Yeah, because evil clerics would NEVER cast a miracle in order to someone believe them.

>>49204960
> A LG paladin
>LG
How would they know?

>has a great deal of legal weight in a classic medieval setting
I mean if we're being realistic, they really don't if they're from a rival nation, and that's assuming a paladin as a profession, not as a class. There's a difference between the abstraction that is classes and actual professions. Though he provided no evidence for either because all he did was cast a spell that about 60% of spell casters can use.

>>49202189
fuck you friendo

>>49204728
Other trials by ordeal include "who can hold their arms out horizontally the longest", "if you choke on this bread you're guilty", "don't get peat/shit/mud on you", "whoever holds their breath the longest wins", "only guilty people need to shit after eating these laxatives", "put this molten metal on your skin dude", "whoever drops the sickest beats is innocent", "if you live I guess you're innocent", and "magic people float better I guess".

>>49204473
It's a fucking contraction.

"Who is that random guy?"

"Who's that rando'?"

>>49197845
I have no idea what you are talking about, but my next characters name is gonna be Randorik.

>>49203816
Thanks. Almost forgot there are assholes here.

>>49192707

>"Stupid knight no proof hurr hurr hurr"

Now, if this was marginally modelled off medieval society, the guards should probably default to the Paladin because he's (probably) in armor and therefore can afford it, setting him as wealthier and a higher social class than these brigands. His word would carry more weight.

I suppose one could try a ritual where they consult the divine as to the efficacy of their champion's word, or perhaps one which brings back the soul/spirit of the deceased for a while by a neutral third-party in order to provide first-hand testimony by the deceased. I'm sure a person or a weapon that claimed the life would also hold some traceable magical or otherwise significant quantity that magic can divine.

But, if we're not going by medieval or magical rules, usually evidence is taken up in court when the charges are read, and the accused taken to a holding cell after accusation. Preliminary evidence is then shown at a pretrial hearing to determine the validity of the accusation, and if it's not enough to base a case on, then the accuser might face punishment and it does not go to trial. If it does go to trial, then evidence is presented, arguments made, and the judge or a jury (but more likely judge in this instance) makes his decision and orders punishment for the accused (now the guilty by court of law).

Investigation can be a great session theme is used appropriately, but court-procedural should take precedence if the evidence is already gathered, or at least enough for initial accusation and getting past the pretrial hearing. It's usually not the part of guards to examine evidence and determine the validity and guilt of an accused on the spot, unless, of course, the guards themselves are corrupt and being paid off by the brigands.

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>>49193309
>but you're never going to run across a nation in a fantasy setting that dislikes the god-appointed magic users.
>>49196025
>Well fatguys, seems like we have a job to do

This is not a thing in fantasy? I use them in every setting I run?

They're usually decadent, drug-using, sexy-armor-wearing Melnibone-stand-ins. Pic related.

>>49203016
A paladin should be listened because he represent a lawfull good divinity on the material plane. Fine.
What if the guards and the country they serve are lawfull neutral or lawfull evil?
Gods should be kept out of the court of law too: their law is not necessarily the state's. Nothing prevents a Church from influencing the lawmaking process however if a large enought majority of the populace follows it.

>>49205182
I don't think you need to remove the last letter of a word arbitrarily to create a contraction. Or at least not when you don't have to worry about a character limit.
O I woul spea lik thi an b totall acceptabl everywher.

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>>49192745

>>49205851
But it literally is just a contraction and a piece of slang, stop getting fussy. It does make sense, even if it's shitty.
>Wut R accents?
>Wut R slang?
Autism speaks...?

>>49192707
You upset me greatly. Just because magic and character classes exist as part of a setting does not mean that everyone in that setting instinctively knows the exact details of such things. To most people cleric and paladin magic might seem indistinguishable, and there are plenty of cases where GMs have allowed clever players to pretend to be something they are not by using a magic item like a concealed wand whenever they cast a spell.

You claiming to be a paladin, a relatively exclusive lot (you don't see hundreds of them round like you do town guards or regular soldiers), means claiming to be something that the guards don't understand very well except for their general appearance. Maybe your GM could have tried to do something more interesting with the question of proof and whether the guards will act on the proof you provide of your incorruptible word, but as things stand that nuance should be your complaint, not that he didn't just go along with everything because "I am a paladin, it says so on my character sheet".

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>>49193541
>What's a Paladin

>>49205903
I've never, ever heard it before, so I can't think of it as a piece of slang. And I've yet to know an accent that omits the "m" on that word.

Also, we are having a 2-way disscusion. If you try to slander me as an "autist", have in mind you would also be one, as you're defending your argument as I defend mine.
It's too early to deflect into shitposting, anon-kun.

>>49206068
>I've never heard it
So?
Slang isn't universal you spag.

>You're calling me an autist because I disagree
Not remotely so. It's more because of nonsense like "I never heard it so it can't be real", which just screams the kind of trapped in their own perception that typifies autists.

That or assumptions that spoken slang and accents be rationally and logically founded. Which sounds like an attempt to rationalize and grasp social norms

>>49193148

so true

>>49206187
You became increasingly annoyed, but you couldn't even give me one example of what accent omits the "m" at the end of the word "random". I didn't even said it doesn't exists, I merely pointed out I haven't heard it before.

My, my... Why did you lost your cool, anon? It's just a conversation.

>>49206243
Did you ask for an accent that omits it?
Because I never claimed it was omited by accent.

It's actively used as a word, not just lazily dropping a letter.

You still sound pretty autsy, btw.

>>49204581
>Boromir as a fighter
Point of order- Boromir is Aragorn's animal companion.

>>49206327
>Because I never claimed it was omited by accent
>>49205903
>Wut R accents?

Waiting back for your amazing retort. The one that will probably contain one or more popular buzzwords from this site directed as an insult of some sort.

>>49206400
That was referring to your second point.
>>49205851
>O I woul spea lik thi an b tot...etc.
Which I brushed off as, yes, people talk in accents.

I wasn't saying Rando was an accent.
It is a slang word.

Have you caught up now?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oRiWJWXVPM

>>49206457
Now that you actually explained yourself instead of getting flustered, that point does make sense.

I'm still doubtful about the slang part of your argument, given it's the first time I've heard of it and this site has a history of trying to force words into slang territory.

You saw how easy was to keep on the subject without having to get all passive-aggresive, anon-kun?

>>49196459
It means "some rando" as in "some random person". It is a millenial word, used a lot on twitter.

>>49206573

For the last time, just because it's not familiar to you, doesn't make it untrue. That is just an argument from ignorance.

>>49205834
What if a villain deceived the paladin into thinking those were the highwaymen and he testifies truthfully to the extent of his knowledge and gets innocent men executed all because the court took the paladin's word as infallible? Rules don't say paladins are omniscient after all. Or does his god intervene somehow?

>>49206622
>Millenial
So you're like 35 or underaged...?

>>49206696
As I told you earlier, I'm not saying the term doesn't exists, but that I haven't heard of it before.
Why do you keep on insisting in making a storm out of a glass of water?
>>49206622
I'm not a customer of Twitter, so I didn't knew this. Thanks for the info, pal.

>>49206708
Paladins have to fuck up through willingness or gross negligence. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, but is actually a Poisonous Water Fowl of the North that took a wrong turn during migration, it's not his fault that someone died from eating it.

>>49206243
>you couldn't even give me one example of what accent omits the "m" at the end of the word "random".
The word you're looking for is dialect, not accent. And I can confirm live usage of the word "rando" to mean random, as in "You're just going to go out and pick up some Rando at the bar?"

Why are you picking on this usage instead of actually arguing the topic? Nothing to add?

>>49206760
If your doubt of its veracity isn't an issue, why keep restating you doubt its veracity.
>I don't use Twitter at all
You hardly seem in a position to cast doubt if something exists then.

>>49206812
I think that's our answer then: paladins may be considered expert witnesses but aren't the sole evidence required to satisfy the burden of proof in a court of law. Congrats /tg/, another job well done.

>>49206818
You're a little late to the discussion, m8.
>Why are you picking on this usage instead of actually arguing the topic? Nothing to add?

Not, really. Everyone agrees the paladin was dumb for not guiding the guards to the body, and instead argued he was an autorithy of some sorts.
>>49206840
I wasn't aware Twitter was the to-go place to get knowledge these days. I'm getting an account soon if that's the case.

> two threads involving paladins and brigands
Coincidence?

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>>49205221
You haven't looken in a mirror that long?

Actually, don't answer that: I see why you wouldn't.

>>49206939
*authority; which technically he is, but probably only a religious one, and probably not even from a religion worshipped in that place.

>>49204543
>he prefers to be raped and killed by localized brigands instead of travelling murderhobos

I guess there are those sort of people too...

>>49206939
Never said it was a font of knowledge, but if you don't even look at it occasionally, it does imply a blinkered world view. Which of course leads to situations like now, where you argue from ignorance against frankly common knowledge.

>>49207021
Leest em rapers eent forrun fowk.

>>49207048
I guess I should also start getting into FurAffinity and DeviantArt. I don't want to have a blinkered world view.

But seriously, I work as a waiter and I also go to bars with friends on weekends, and I've never heard the word. Maybe it hasn't stick in here.

>>49192707
You're whole party's retarded if you're playing alignments that raw.

>>49192761
/thread

>>49207174
>Maybe I'll just get into furries! HARUMPH
With arguments like that you sound like a petulant child.

>I go out locally and I haven't heard it.
Slang. Is. Regional.

>>49207252
Calm down, my man. The first sentence was clearly a joke, not an argument. I'm sorry if I triggered you.

About the second, well, I thought you said it was common knowledge the existance of the word. Now you say it's regional.
Getting mixed signals here.

>>49202398
Guard: "Why should we believe you?"
PC: "I'm a paladin, we CAN'T lie."
Guard: "Of course I'll take your word on it. A lot of you fellows around. I almost accidentally arrested a paladin yesterday but he assured me he'd just found all those coinpurses and that he'd never lie."

>>49207351
All slang is regional.
This particular word does get used online.
You not seeing it only proves it's not commonly spoken in your region and that you are pretty insular online. There is no contradiction.

>>49207351
Why do you sound like you're trying to probe for flaws? Are you thinking we're trying to fool you that this word exists? Google it ffs.

>>49207404
Very well. I'll accept that the missused word exists. Not like I'll use it ever.
>>49207443
I googled it since the first response. I was just curious on why the word existed when it really doesn't save much time. Now, after all of this discussion, I see Twitter and its character limit has to do with this.
Also, you can say "for fuck's sake" all you want, anon. There's no wordfilter here or oppresive character limits.

>>49207546
>Misused
The 3rd fucking result on google is the oxford dictionary. I'll take them over some asspie rando.
>Slang only exists to save time
No offence, you're literally autistic.

>>49207443
This honestly.
It's no smeg off my bellend if this cunt refuses to accept reality.

>>49207591
The RAE also lists barbarisms into their dictionary. Not because they approve them, but because you can't make people stop using them, even if there's an equivalent word for it. It's more of a popularity contest, rather than a bonafide neologism.

>no offence
>proceeds to fling an insult

I like your style. A hot-headed person on the internet. We need more of those.

>>49207807
>Insult
Nope, a diagnosis.

>>49192707
You actually took your time arresting bandits instead of outright killing them?
Well you are the divine warrior of a god, if the law is to lenient and won't do what is right, do it yourself

>>49193848
underrated post
>>49198087
Except police officers =/= paladins.
>>49203330
>this meme
>>49205383
He knows what's up.
>>49206386
kek

>>49207843
I didn't knew you also were a doctor. I bet you could also kick my ass. And your father could kick my father's ass, too!

To discover all of this after a civil argument about a made-up word. Fascinating!

>>49207928
Autismal as fuck. See a profesional.

>>49207956
I'm already seeing you. Or is your title a counterfeit? Could it be that you lied to me about everything, as well?

>>49208003
>You lied to me
Nigger wut?
You think it's just one asshole has wasted their time on you?
Asspie.

>>49203555
No need to defend your shitty nonsensical setting, op's dm.

>>49208064
Come on now, you only need to follow your own comment chain and read carefully whatever I've written in response to whatever post is yours. I answered to the posts, not to the people who posted them.

But of course, I'm probably expecting too much reading comprehension from a illiterate chimp.

>>49208166
>Literally does think it's all one dude
Yeah, keks aside, get checked bro. You sound bad.

>>49208223
Like I said, my posts are directed to the post, not to the poster. Never said there was only one poster, did I?

But again, illiterate chimp, etc. You didn't even bothered to comment on the flaw I made up in the last post, so that just reaffirmates my point.

>>49208272
>I put a deliberate flaw in my post to know you were my equal when you correct me.
The Autistry Deepens.

>>49208361
>not being a retard = autism

Under your own words, if I am an autist, that makes you a...

I know you can solve this puzzle.

>>49208433
I have a better puzzle, the solution is to drink bleach.

The puzzle? Your life.

>>49208542
And with that, I have better shit to do.
>>49208433
Later autist.

>>49208542
>>49208553
I hope your life gets better, anon. Take care.

>>49207807
But he's right, thinking that slang is only for time saving is actually an austistic trait, because it shows a lack of ability to understand normal social behavior.

>>49208705
We already established the word was made up because of Twitter's character limit, anon. There's no need to beat the dead horse, is it?

So, if you want to play the game too... Lacking emphaty (like being offensive during a civil discussion) is also a sign of autism. Does it means everyone here has autism? imb4 where do you think we are

>>49208794
If you really think anyone who insults you, if you can even calling pointing a symptom as that, lacks empathy then I have some bad news for you.
I think you should probably get out more friendo.

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>>49207807
>It's more of a popularity contest, rather than a bonafide neologism.
>slang I don't like isn't REALLY lanaguage, all those big bad normies just use their stupid popularity contests to MAKE people use and recognise the evil slang and I personally as the highest authority deny its legitiomacy!

It never stops being funny how baffled and oblivious autists are at how obvious their autism is.
They really just don't get it.

>>49208965
I'm sorry. I should've been more descriptive for you. Defending a point, independently of validity, to the point where you become furious and start attacking the contestants, rather than the points, is a symptom of autism.

Does this actually proves someone has autism? No. The same goes to the point you made earlier.

So... now what do we play?

>>49209089
You know what could make your point go further (wathever your point was, anyway)? You could make a MS Paint comic with me screaming I AM SILLY!

>>49193148
>people in-setting are aware of the concept of spell lists etc
Either your playing in a parody setting, or a shit setting.

>>49209091
> to the point where you become furious and start attacking the contestants

But pointing out that the guy was right. that what you said implies autism, was the first time I replied to you.
I'm not furious, or attacking you. You really need some thicker skin and probably actual help.

>>49209089
>that picture
kek

I'm starting to feel bad for him

>>49209213
I'll put it in a way you can understand. I wasn't saying you were mad, but the first people I was talking with, that suddenly exploded into slander, even when I never disrespected them.

You got this part, right? Right.

Later, when everything was over, you said something something equals autism.

You still follow? I can stop if you need to re-read it.

So, I responded to you with an equivalent of your sentence, and stated than both of them were dumb and neither meant anything.

And now we're here. I'm not mad, so I don't know where that "thicker skin" comment came from. But we can keep playing, if you wish.

>>49209145
I'm sorry if your autism makes it difficult to understand what normal people are talking about.

It's probably just those furry twitter normies with their popularity trying to bully you again :^)

>>49209421
This is some good bubble speech, but you forgot to put it on MS Paint. This is the browser window, my friend.
Remember to put my character deformed and yours drinking wine from a cup, too!

>>49209212
Knowing the specifics of magical arts is one thing but many settings or areas within settings have in-game differentiation between faith-based magic and mages.
The average peasant usually has more trust in and awe of divine magic as the will of (a )god made manifest in the world through a holy agent carrying out their will while arcane magic often has a greater element of suspicion and fear. The mage does not answer to some higher power they act in the name of, they're just mighty often egotistical individuals using dangerous powers beyond mortal reckoning and bargaining with demons and dark forces to achieve unknowable goals often to the detriment of peasants intentional or not.

Now settings can vary widely from that but it does tend to be the default.

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>>49209353
tl;dr
Calm down buddy, no need to sperg out.

Not everyone is furious and conspiring against you, they're just making fun of how oblivious you are of your autistic behavior.

I'm a different anon, btw.

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Dear Emperor, all the autism in this thread.

>>49209470
Oh you caught me, darn!

I'm part of the normie conspiracy that makes comics making fun of you all the time and forces "misused" words as "slang" just to annoy you!

>>49209587
Don't you see the importance of whatever we are discussing now, anon? I can't calm down, man! I'm incredibly furious!
Why don't you screencap me for future references on furious people? I bet it would be pretty handy.
>>49209687
I knew it! What a discovery! And people said the tinfoil didn't work!

>>49209676
Do you think autism would fall under the domain of slaanesh or tzeentch?

>>49209676
Sorry, man. The thread was pretty dead, niggas started shit and I'm bored at work. Not the best combination.
I'm probably gonna keep at it until customers come.

>>49209709
>I can't calm down, man!
Maybe if you just learned that not every insult and disagreement against you is a conspiracy of raging barbarians of slang?

>>49209765
Of course it is! I stated my points earlier and they keep coming without even looking at them, so this can only be a conspiracy!

Wait there are actually anons that are mad a paladin called himself a paladin?

And that he brought up that he won't lie?

>>49210877
Well I mean calling yourself a paladin isn't so bad, it was a real life thing, though if I had 'paladins' in my setting not all of them would be the class paladin.
Assuming crunch = fluff in DnD was pretty dumb though

>>49210939

The lying thing?

Yeah that only paladins have that always struck me as weird

I'd houserule that LG priest couldn't either

>>49204581
>Bilbo as a thief
They call Bilbo a burglar

>>49204581
There is a difference between wizard as a profession and Wizard the class. One is an in-universe definition which doesn't strictly require Wizard the class to meet (don't need to be an Assassin to be an assassin, and IIRC the closest mechanical match in D&D to gandalf is something along the lines of a paladin, amusingly enough), while the other is a mechanical construct for playing a game which doesn't necessarily map 1:1 to in-universe things, as much as WotC loves making classes with hardcoded fluff.

Anyway, OP was clearly going with Paladin as a class with the whole "I am literally unable to lie because I am a paladin" bit.

>>49211550

that literally means someone who breaks into other people's houses, which he proceeds to do to Smaugh.

>>49204362
I didn't know that.

>trusting the player characters to not be retarded murderhobos
yeah no. this is town guard 101, NEVER trust the pcs

>>49211066
Back off dude, priests don't give a fuck