Who's the most memorable female player you've

>>48942535

Well, she was a good RPer, great artist, and good storyteller, and had a feminine penis.

>>48942591
This except unironically

I mean I never saw her penis but I can only assume

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>>48942535

Let me tell you about That Girl

>find a group through a local vidya guild
>they play pathfinder. Ok cool
>meet That Girl
>100 kg 1,50 m, no neck, sausage fingered, pendulously chinned
>bona fide rippling, roiling landwhale with giant tits
>session starts
>door is locked
>DM literally locks us in saying it's for 'atmosphere'
>I'm in character as much as possible, trying to get the others in the spirit as well
>landwhale refuses to be in character
>barely capable of coherent speech
>she just mumbles about how I should've just bought a better table
>inserts exhibitionism and rape
>smokes at the table
>fails to even get neckbeards interested in her
>one of the creepy, greasy tits since I can't look at her hand and not have tits there
>landwhale plays a half naked gnome paladin of some homebrewed love goddess
>described him as "powerfully built, with big hand and hooves wink wink"
>I believe in absolutely bad actions, except for when I don't.
>first encounter: everyone is stoked, one landwhale player casually brags about knowing more about D&D than anyone there.
>DM takes exception to that
>Even I feel a smile creep across my mouth
>Decide to play Fighter too for the challenge of it all.
>Tell him I was gonna make A Two Weapon Warrior, one of the fighter archetypes and go all out with Bastard Swords.
>Say he was a weaboo type who trained with swords and junk.
>Party finds a huge cache of alchemist fire.
>Everyone takes a couple, as there isn't a wizard to dish out the AoE spells.
>DM "OK FINE"
>we relax
>DM offers a do-over then runs EXACTLY the same scenario with same results
>landwhale politely requests that he take her greasy little gnome chode and jam it up the physical ass of Mr. Fuck.
>mfw

>>48942672
Your story makes no sense.

>>48942672
what

>>48942535

>Be player in group
>One of the other guys wants to test a system, but isn't confident enough to DM it, so hands off the reins to a differnt guy.
>Do what was originally a one-shot, primarily to systems test
>We iron out a lot of bugs, but Ian makes a pretty neat story and we get a bit attached to our characters in our adventure, so we continue with those guys in that world
>Enter Erin, who is playing a mage named Selene. Not the most optimized character, but we were all trying to figure out what we were doing.
>Anyway, we continue adventuring on, and Ian is slowly building the world around us
>We go hunting for this major magical staff, whcih is in the hoard of a dragon.
>Fight the best, win, but don't kill it.
>Find out that he laid a pretty nasty curse on the staff, which hits Selene since she was the one who tried to use it first.
>Her character starts slowly dying of a wasting disease.
>Try to find a cure, but it's around the same time that we start hearing about a very big dark evil cabal, who are messing shit up and need to be stopped.
>Only halfheartedly look for the cure, focus more on stopping The Bad Guys.
>One day, we're at our manor, and we get asked who, if anyone was on watch while we were sleeping
>Wait, don't we have early warning wards
>Yeah, they've been turned off
>What the fuck?
>Erin raises her hand, a bit sheepishly.
>Long story short, she sold us out for the knowledge to become a lich, which she saw as the only way to dodge the curse.
>We get a near TPK, and Selene is retired out to become a villainous NPC.

>>48942535
Serious answer time. My friends creepy older sister. Steve's dad was the one who got us into role-playing, but he didn't start with D&D. No, he started with GI Joe wargame home-brew. Pretty much the same way D&D got started I guess, we had a bunch of army men and he would give us a squad with specific missions to go through.

Pretty sure he never really left Korea behind, and also that he was an absolute fucking psychopath when he was there. I don't know what the opposite of PTSD is, but he had his shit on total lockdown at home. But if you ever went hunting with the man, or played war games with him, the sheer fucking joy he got out of it was fucking scary.

I shit you not, that man made it his mission to kill a deer with nothing but a hunting knife and eventually managed to do it.

Anyways, Steve's house was were everything was happening. Never had any problems with the Satanic Panic because his dad was a vet and an upstanding member of the church and like I said, we didn't do D&D.

Sarah was honestly kind of a rough go at the time. Very much wanted to be just like Dad despite being a girl, which resulted in her being some abnormal military punk mix. Hardcore Feminist who thought that it was fucking stupid to consider men and women equal, so it was fine for women to cheat because that's what humans do anyways. Very pro-American, but would and had knocked out the teeth of dudes that got in her face with a fist full of cheesy Gothic rings that were above all heavy and fit together.

Anyways, we were kind of too terrified of her to ever hit on her, not that Steve ever stopped being paranoid about it.

Around grade 12 she chilled out a bit, got popular and found a group and stopped playing with us. But she never turned on us or got "too cool". Just kind of moved on and found other things to do.

She was an alright role-player. Loved to pick a side and defend it no matter how ridiculous. Would have made a great Paladin.

>>48943154
>grade 12
are you Canadian?

>>48942535
>new player
>dating one of the other players
>ohboyherewego
>she contributes more to the party than he does
>is one of the strongest roleyplayers
>quick to grasp rules
It's like we didn't even need the guy anymore

>>48942672
>smokes at the table
I fucking lost it, this is worse than cheeto fingers I want to scream.

Why does it have to be female?

oh right so you can get 100 replies with this shit thread

>>48943221
Not him, but I am. Are you?

>>48942964
That's fucking rad.

>>48943257
The fact that it's in a locked room just makes it 10 times worse.

>>48943346
I didn't even consider that. I'd probably, and I mean this honestly with no hyperbole, either destroy her entire pack or fucking smash a window if the smoker and the GM refused to comply

>>48943261

Found the That Girl.

>>48943221
I surely am. If you didn't pick it up, Steve and Sarah were both military brats, and their parents ended up in Nelson since they knew a bunch of ex-military people who ended up there.

>>48943261
The split is realistically about 60/40 in my experience.

>inb4 some autist spergs out because the thread is specifically about girls

>>48943507


Too late m'laddo >>48943261

The cucks get in early these days. :)

>>48943154
I see what you did there.

10/10 Anon

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Tie between:

> Nerd girl
> Played druids, assassins and eldritch knights
> Looks and acts like Princess Sparklefairy from the Cupcake Kingdom
> Would actually cut your face off and wear it as a hat if you got on her bad side
> Brainy
> Brunette
> Bisexual
> Always active in roleplay, tending towards playing femme fatales and the psychologically damaged
> Terrible sense of humor
> Hidden depressive side
> Secretly thinks the worst of everyone

And:

> Goth girl
> Played sorceresses, arcane tricksters and warlocks
> Looks like Iceface Soulraper, Bitch-Queen of Fuckoff Mountain
> Actually a kind, loving girl who literally wouldn't hurt a fly
> Brainy
> Blonde
> Bisexual
> Always active in roleplay, tending towards playing femme fatales and the psychologically damaged
> Great sense of humor
> Hidden manic side
> Secretly thinks the best of everyone

Both awesome roleplayers, but their explosive personalities made things difficult.

They have never met, nor have they been in the same room. I think they'd annihilate each other and saturate the area with gamma rays.

>>48943507
To be fair, that just makes it even more reasonable and just to have a thread like this.

Not to bring women in the hobby to the forefront of discussion, because they've been there since day one and only a whiny keyboard crusader would have somehow missed that.

Not to defend them, because honestly they're people you YMMV anyways. Anecdotal stories are at best what we'll get.

No, what makes this thread truly just is that everyone who gets triggered and spergs out about this shit is an autistic faggot that can't just not participate. It's both entertaining to me, and deserved for them to get butthurt.

I will say this though, fucking Harmonquest gave me a serious hate for Aubrey Plaza. Fucking THAT GIRL all the way.

I mean that after accepting that it's just dicking around and playing silly to tell a story. The redhead wozzername though, I'd play a serious game with her.

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The two most memorable were a That Girl and a This Girl, the latter being positive.

The That Girl was actually pretty bland compared to stories of hambeasts and group-wreckers that I've read about. She was a lazy wiccan goth girl, in that she'd preach about environmentalism but never actually do anything about it. Game-wise the only things she ever played in D&D were rangers and druids, always elves, and always with wolf companions. She was offensive only because of how intensely bland she was.

This Girl, on the other hand, got into D&D in 1995 and played it with her older brothers and was some kind of turbo-tomboy (but somehow, still straight). She could play pretty much any type of character but had a liking for grizzled warrior types, and after D&D 3e came out, got heavily into homebrew. She loved to write her own material for the game, and had maybe a half-dozen or so games written and tested with our group before her family moved away. We still keep in contact and occasionally play over IRC, and she's still writing tons of homebrew shit. Also she's a woman after my own heart because she hates Pathfinder, after GMing it for a two year long campaign nearly burned her out on tabletop altogether.

In college I ran SR for a high-strung copy editor in training English major who was just all on, all the time. Like, a permanent manic state. So she pretty much ran her character like an Ojibwe butch dwarf version of Tony Montana on coke. She was a good friend and fun to game with but sometimes I worried, you know?

>tfw haven't known a girl in like 4 years
it gets better, right?
right?

>>48942535
The GM's younger sister who's condition requires she be on oxygen most of the time.

She was actually a pretty good RPer; her character and mine engaged in a fair amount of banter being from two different royal houses with a minor rivalry.

Haha time to trap pos-

>>48942591
>>48942648

... Damn...

>>48945093

Shit man, leave your NEET hovel and go the fuck outside.

>>48942535
Asian qt who was that girl. She's memorable because she almost stabbed a player with a handful of mechanical pencils

>>48945195
Woah

Story time

>>48944899
>Also she's a woman after my own heart because she hates Pathfinder, after GMing it for a two year long campaign nearly burned her out on tabletop altogether.

I played Pathfinder once, it lasted 2 sessions. Pathfinder lovers seem to be shitty GMs in my experience.

Also to be on topic there have been 2 femplayers I've been gaming with, the first joined a Rogue Trader game as a naked Deldar Wych in the employ of another guy's Self Insert Mary Sue Inquisitor from some shitty fanfic, she did nothing. Nothing. IIRC she was mainly just playing League or something and not even paying attention to the session.

The other one was a Halfing/Gnome (I forget which) Wizard in a 5e game, she was a good RPer but she lost interest in the game after a few sessions.

>>48945564
this

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>>48943261
>Why does it have to be female?
There are no girls or gays on the internet. Everyone here is an undersexed 300 pound white male neckbeard teetering on the verge of suicide due to mental health issues and severe feelings of inadequacy.

>>48942535
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15581459/

>>48942535
One girl. I still can't forget about her and it fills me with pain. I loved her and still love, though sometimes I want to kill her, because she rejected me.
She gave me desire to change myself. I lost almost 150 pounds in a year, started to work out, solved most of my health problems, I ceased to be disgusted by my own reflection. I even began to shave my neckbeard. And yet she still silent and won't respond. Probably it's due to her own psychological issues - she had lots of them.
Life is suffering.

>>48942672
This is a terrible story.
Please read more.

LARPer. Probably around 250-300 pounds. No neck, no tits, massive fupa and stomach, with a face reminiscent of a tomato. Who played attractive characters. I could never convince myself to hit on any of them, even when I played a massive manwhore.

And she had "social anxiety", so she took IC actions as personal attacks on her and her character.

>>48942535
Most memorable?
>Playing a short-arc fantasy campaign under my brother. The girlfriend of one of the other players (henceforth: the bitch), who is relatively new to role-gaming, is playing. We start out on this strange plain, with a tower in the distance, having all lost our memories. I'm an engineer / alchemist of sorts, with a primitive musket as my primary weapon. My guy is specifically designed to be easy-going and group-minded in order to aid party cohesion and make sure the adventure goes off well.

>The bitch is playing a thief character who seems determined to be the center of attention by antagonizing everybody and expecting to get away with it for some reason… maybe because she's a girl (though she was quite obese, so I can't imagine that she'd previously had a lot of special treatment in life). Anyway, like I said before, we'd all lost our memories and didn't even know each other as a result, so the only thing keeping us together was the common goal of figuring out what had happened, and strength in numbers against any possible dangers.

>The bitch starts things off great by stealing a flask of Greek fire from me without my knowledge, then waving it tauntingly in front of me, and after I frantically told her to be careful because it was combustible, she threw it to/at my character. Fortunately, I managed to catch it, but we were already off to a bad start, and other characters of mine would've outright attacked her for what she did, but this character was more understanding and I didn't want to fuck up the adventure before it'd even gotten underway, so I let it slide.

>>48948124
>Along the way, there were numerous things the bitch did that showed a lack of consideration in character (and at least somewhat out of character as well), but the next big event is when we were trying to slip into the tower undetected. We dispatch a few hostile guards quickly and quietly enough that we managed not to raise the alarm, but when the bitch drops down in a passageway ahead of us and encounters a couple more guards, she runs through the tower screaming (she actually said "screaming") rather than do something that isn't monumentally stupid.

>We manage to survive all that, but my character has a few choice words with hers because even if he's friendly and easy-going, he would really like not to die. She just says something haughty and insulting, ignores him and walks away. By now *I* am starting to get pissed off (rather than just a bit irritated), but again, I let things slide. So now we're exploring the first dungeon-like floor of the tower, and we come to some sort of strange altar room with a magic tome in it. The party takes a vote and we decide as a group to leave everything alone rather than risk causing something we'd regret.

>But apparently one of the other PCs has a sentient cloak, something we didn't know at the time. It directs him to go back and… do something with the book. So that PC slips off while we're resting, but somebody notices and we start freaking out. We're not sure if he left on his own, got dragged off, etc. So we scout around, and, retracing our steps, find him in the altar room. This is when shit comes to a head.

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>>48948145
>We're all like "what the fuck are you doing?" and he's like "fuck off, this doesn't concern you", only in nicer words. But we're not about to let it drop. We took a group vote not to fuck with potentially sinister shit, and this guy seems to know something we don't (is he faking having lost his memories?), so the confrontation gets a bit heated.

>At this point the bitch decides she's going to throw in with the cloak-guy. She pulls out her knife and threatens the guy we had voted to be our group leader. So I level my musket at her and tell her to put her knife down. And now we're in a Mexican standoff, with cloak-guy and the bitch on one side, and our leader, me and (more or less) the bitch's boyfriend's character on the other. Shit's tense, but violence is not, by any means, unavoidable. We're all posturing, but my character is trying to do go the "let's all be reasonable and not do something stupid" route.

>So the bitch is haughtily telling our leader to back down, which he's not about to do, especially since she's the one who escalated things in the first place. So the bitch decides to resolve the situation with violence: "I throw my knife–". Now I've had my musket leveled at her head the entire time, and the instant she says that, I say: "bang!"

>>48948173
>Suddenly realizing how fucked she is, she frantically appends: "–at his hand!" (which is holding a sword). To this I respond: "I can't tell that. I just see you throw your knife and shoot." Inside, I'm doing a little happy dance as all my pent up frustration drains away as I lay this smack down on her (despite doing virtually everything I could to avoid reaching this point due to my group-minded character and my desire not to fuck up the game). Anyway, the skirmish is quick and decisive. Cloak-guy manages to shield the bitch from most of the musket blast using magic, but she still goes down, leaving it a lopsided fight. Our leader is fine, and cloak-guy never wanted things to come to this, so he effectively surrenders and agrees to forsake whatever the hell he was doing.

>We patch things up with him sufficiently to let him back into our group (though obviously we're going to keep an eye on him), but the bitch who threw a knife at our leader is a different story. My character has reached the end of his rope and does not trust her not to slit his throat, so he presses to eject her from the party. Our leader agrees and even with the bitch's boyfriend abstaining, that is effectively that. Cloak-guy doesn't get involved because he realizes he's on shaky ground as it is, and it's clear we're not budging on this one.

>So after letting cloak-guy patch her up, we ostracize the bitch from our group and continue our adventure. Meanwhile, out of character, the bitch goes into the other room and cries, while her boyfriend gets pissed off at us for excluding her. I point out that I'm not refusing to play with her, only that my character refuses to have anything to do with her character for obvious reasons. I have nothing against her making a new character (though I'm secretly hoping that if she does that she's learned her lesson).

The one who plays regularly at the table.

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>>48948076
>One girl. I still can't forget about her and it fills me with pain. I loved her and still love, though sometimes I want to kill her, because she rejected me.

>>48948190
And that's pretty much it. That was the last session we played as the game fell apart due to the tensions that arose. Less than a year later, when the bitch was apparently dissatisfied that the group wasn't giving her more deference, she told our parents (some of us were still in high school at the time) we were smoking pot in some sort of fucked-up power play. Her boyfriend went along with her for this, but it was pretty clear that she was the driving force (and he was pretty whipped). Plus, he had always been anti-pot, so at least he wasn't being blatantly hypocritical. Not that this excuses his behavior, and his actions permanently ended our friendship, but I regard him as more of a tool than anything else.

The bitch wrote a note to cloak-guy after all of this went down, which made it clear to us that she had fully expected for us to be cowed by her actions, and that she anticipated being let back into the group with greater power than before. That, needless to say, did not happen.

Mind you, I'm not trying to sound misogynistic, or imply that all female gamers are like this. But you asked about the most memorable female player I've had at my table, and the bitch is it.

>>48942672
>clebslgf shblo

>>48943558
tell plebs then

>>48942672
samuelljacksoninpulpfictioninquiringastowhetheryouspeakenglish.jpg

>>48942964
that's actually pretty cool

Every female I've played with has been incredibly, boringly average.

I'm almost praying for a nut job just to start a curve.

The reverse trap.

>>48942535
My wife. I see her every day. Can't really forget her. Not that I would want to.

>>48942535
I can't stand questions like this. Stop giving women special attention/privileges/considerations, they want to be our equals, let them, and stop letting yourself be controlled by pussy so much. Now to answer your question...

None of them were really memorable. It's just one big blur of drama and attention whoring. Women are the bane of /tg/ groups and MMO guilds, and it's not even their fault, they just act according to their nature, and for whatever reason men who are into these hobbies will eat whatever shit women want to put them through in hopes she might one day touch their penis.

>>48948730
It's OK, she isn't here right now. We can send a team to get you out.

If you need help post a winking anime girl, if you are OK, post a generic reaction image.

You ;3

>>48944275
>Harmonquest gave me a serious hate for Aubrey Plaza

What did she do?

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>>48943257
>>48943346
>>48943382
I'm a person with a fairly sensitive nose, so I can't handle that kind of thing either.
I'd have complained, and left if it didn't stop immediately.
As cathartic as it'd be to make some scene about it, it just isn't worth it. The kind of person who smokes in this day and age even though we know it'll kill your ass dead is the kind of person who doesn't even care about themselves, nevermind caring about others.

>>48945195

Old copypasta anon

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>>48942672
>>door is locked

>>48943419
Nelson's fucking great.

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>>48942535
A girl who went by the name of DH.

She was the glue that held the party together. A genuinely strong RPer, who also had a strong mechanical mastery of the system. She kept us on task when we got too sidetracked, and she genuinely got the "zen" of my setting more than any other player in the party.

We lost her for totally understandable RL reasons, and it's been a major blow to the party. Wherever you are Dee, you are missed. Thanks for playing with us for over a year.

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>>48948823
I'm fine :P

>>48944168
>I think they'd annihilate each other and saturate the area with gamma rays.
I mean if that's what you call love at first sight then that's your prerogative.

>>48942672
Wut?

>>48942535
No really memorable players, but a super-memorable DM I played with. Her parents worked for the college I went to so she was like a career student who was super into anime and sci-fi. Incredibly patient, didn't care that I got halfway-drunk at the table and generally put up with my bullshit because she thought I was hilarious, even when I was simultaneously picking fights with other players both IC and OOC. (In my defense, he was a jackass who would've been better off for a solid punch in the nose.) I think. I can't imagine any other reason she put up with me. Ran a lot of crazy stuff as one-shots like a Changeling game that was an exercise in 'WTF just happened?'

>>48947899
Why are you so angry, bro?

>>48945107
i remember you
still in denial about being raped?

>>48942535
Well, two come to mind. One was a straight up murderhobo landwhale that started out reallt nice, bringing cookies and brownies to the game, but got mean, was dumber than rocks, and never remembered any of the rules.

The other is an excellent roleplayer, remembers the rules, builds around a character instead of numbers first, and gives great head.

>>48942535
Most memorable is probably the psycho who started self-harming at the table. Unfortunately, catastrophically awful players are more memorable than good players.

I've had plenty of excellent female players and I'm currently playing under a really fun and passionate female GM. But it's the weirdo who pulled out a shard of glass from her sleeve and started cutting slices into the back of her arm that sticks in the mind.

(I booted her from the game because why the fuck wouldn't you?).

Bear in mind, I played in a university society for three years and there was a lot of churn between games. The aforementioned psycho also moved between a lot of groups for obvious reasons. Old Slicey McSelf-Harm shouldn't be taken as representative of either gamers or female gamers.

>>48942591
I think I found this way more funny than I should have.

>>48942672
>>barely capable of coherent speech
This is a pretty accurate description of you, too.

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>>48942535
>one girl I played L5R with
>literally the best shugenja player I ever saw in six years

Shame she moved cities and had to leave the group.

>>48942964
Actually pretty cool. I mean, since you obviously didn't really care if she died she did have to take matters into her own hands. Where can I find this Erin?

Also, crazy coincidence, my name is Ian and I love world building. My main issue is that I'm not great with mechanics.

>>48942672
What the FUCK are you even trying to describe Can you actually fucking read this shit? I seriously hope you're not a GM because I can only imagine the looks of confusion on your players faces as you describe the scene. Then one of them slowly raises their hand and goes "But who's Mr. Fuck, you never mentioned him before."

>>48942535
My wife comes to mind.

>>48942535
TL;DR: slut with wakfu-tier hips and no hesitation to use them

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>>48945195
Was she weightless too?

>>48948076
Has it occurred to you that maybe it's not about how you look and maybe it's not her mental problems, maybe she just doesn't like you?

Because you're the kind of person that wants to kill people for rejecting him

>>48952809
Gonna need the full story there.
Every detail.

>>48948076
Hate to admit it anon, but this: >>48953020
You need to know not to let it go.

>>48945107
>>48952475

I wasn't here for that story. Care to share?

>>48948243
This isn't Tumblr. We understand that one example doesn't represent an entire population.

We also don't care if you're being misogynistic or not.

Good story, anon.

>>48947899
Dude I weight 300 lbs

You don't get necks and "chins" like that until you go over 300, reaching 400

>Only ever witnessed 2 women playing games
>Still barely know either of them, but they seem cool
>We're an online group, and use Mumble to talk(mostly ooc) during and between games
>Met one of them a few months ago, when I rejoined the group after being unable to play for a year; I hopped in the mumble and a few minutes later she joined on her phone, to discuss their upcoming(now started) game of 5e with the others
>Still dunno much about her, she's in less often than the other one
>Met the other lady the next day, turns out the guy who mentioned moving to a different state last year actually went through with it, and she's his roommate, other chick is a friend of theirs from work
>The two of them are currently playing a couple of drow in the 5e game, which said guy is GMing(he made Drow one of the primary races of his setting, which he's so far only regretting because of troubles finding good art for NPCs)
>Actually spent an hour or so last night trying to help the latter chick find a picture to use for her character

Most memorable moment involving either of them, so far, has to be when, about a month ago, someone mentioned an anime and the roommate chick said she'd watched it, and someone jokingly called her a weeaboo. The group slowly proceeded to start chanting "Weeaboo, weeaboo, weeaboo," and then after a bit I hear the guy's mic go silent, and a minute later he's echoing through her mic shouting the same chant. After the chanting was all done, she told us he was swatting her with a toy lightsaber, and as he walked out of her room he turned back and whispered "Anime trash"

I've only ever played with one girl, but she's legitimately one of the best roleplayers and writers I've ever seen. Great detailed settings when she DMs (you could ask her literally anything about the setting including the acidity of the soil and she'd have an instant compelling answer), interesting and well-developed characters when she plays. Helpful and goes along with everything. Works with kids, so she loves writing kids when she can and does an incredible job with it

Girls I've played with on freeform websites are an entirely different cup of tea however, some of the worst people I've seen online had feminine penises

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>>48953222
>Good-natured girls fitting into a group
>Not being given special treatment
>Not demanding special attention
>No sign of them being excessively bullied
>No desire to be given special exception from the teasing.
What you have is precious anon.
Hold onto it tightly and never let go.

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Honestly not much of a story, I just remember the most disappointment in her.

Goth type girl. Thick rimmed glasses. Into nerd hobbies. But she was one of those nerd girls. Had mountains of "nerd swag" from thinkgeek, lots of Dr. Who paraphernalia, etc. Was pretty quiet in terms of roleplay.

Was almost interested in dating her. Went over to her house to watch some movies with her. My friends and I call her Rat Girl because she had some pet rats. They were actually pretty cute though. But she sort of turned it into her defining personality trait. If it wasn't Dr. Who related, it was rat related. She even got shoved a comic book into my hands called Rat Queens and asked me to read it.

Don't. Just don't. It's awful. Characters are all psychopaths being portrayed as "good female rolemodels" and literally everyone is gay, trans, pierced, on drugs, drunk, and anything that isn't white or male in a small town.

It was after I read it that I realized she was drinking the kool-aid. Literally the day after she confessed to me that she was having a moral conuundrum because her ex-boyfriend came out as trans, and she wanted to support him, but he was being an asshole. She was feeling guilty for not liking a dude who was trans, even though it wasn't because he was trans.

After that, she tried texting me three times, and the conversation started OFF pleasant, but then at some point would turn into an argument. She would try to appeal to emotion and then when that didn't work, got huffy and stopped texting me. Last time we talked, she said she wanted to hang out on any day except the weekend, so I said "Friday?" and she said "That's the weekend". I disagreed, she typed "Okay" and that was it.

I still have her Rat Queens book. If I wasn't so Lawful, I'd have thrown it away, not out of spite, because that comic is just that bad.

>>48952809
Story Time!

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>>48953049
>>48953776

>>48942535
all the women Ive played with have been snowflake-tier. I'm not saying seriously good RP'ers don't exist but I only hear about them in threads like this, and even then it's drowned in "that girl" stories

>>48948076
>The girl that clearly isn't interested in me hasn't instantly fallen in love with me! Murder is the only solution!

>>48953755
Friday is the weekend my dude

>>48953977
If you're an idiot, maybe. Weekend is clearly defined as Saturday and Sunday in first-world countries.

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>>48953435

I mean, it's not like that stuff is rare. Most of the groups I've been in have included girls, and it's never been a problem.

Don't let /tg/ mislead you: about a third of the people in this hobby are girls, and they're no more likely to cause problems than anyone else. However:

>"My group was terrible" is a story worth telling on 4chan, "my grou was normal" is not
>People on 4chan have a higher than average chance of not being able to interact normally with a woman, leading to group problems
>When a guy causes group problems, the reaction is "what a jerk." When a girl causes group problems, the reaction is "girls cause problems."

>>48953998

Friday morning is part of the week. For many people, the weekend begins once you're done with work on Friday. Friday evening through Sunday, that's the weekend. You could be pedantic and insist that the weekend is ONLY Saturday and Sunday. Or you could not start a pedantic argument, and hang out with a girl on a weeknight.

>>48954273
Or you could just use the common definition of the word as opposed to an "average joe" definition which doesn't even make sense because most average joes have shifting schedules which make them work on the weekend. That way, when you want to say "Not on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday", you could say "I'm free Mon-Thur".

I know you're just baiting me cause you're bored, so I'm going to stop feeding you after this.

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>>48953068
He's memeing, she didn't rape me.
My GM(almost 18) took me(barely 15) to a spooky movie, in the middle of the movie she put her down my pants out of the blue and jerked me off, then took me to her house and I had my first fug.

After that we dated for almost three years, she was a bro-tier punk/goth qt. No rape took place.

>>48954902
Sounds like statutory to me.

>>48955003
Depends on where you live. That would be perfectly legal in my state (age of consent is 16 or within 4 years)

>>48953755
Agreed Rat Queens is dogshit. It also 100% doesn't deserve its feminist rep. But, m8, Friday is the weekend

>>48955042

304 represent

>>48948752
"I didn't bother to read the thread"

>>48942535
>8/10 qt that almost exclusively played bards
>She was out of everybody at the table's league and we all knew it, so it was pretty chill
>Playing a pathfinder campaign with gestalt characters
>She rolls with a archer fighter archetype/bard
>Campaign starts with all the characters awakening in an enormous cavern with a slain dragon, a shitload of dead dudes, and evidence of a massive battle but have no memory of what happened or even who we were
>End up wandering into a nearby village and learn that some dickhead bandits have taken some children hostage
>We're short on coin so we arrange a mission to rescue the kids in exchange for some valuable heirlooms
>Creep up on their camp and debate on what our course of action will be for literally like 20 minutes
>GM gets bored and states that one of the bandits on watch noticed the bickering adventurers crouched behind some shrubs and raised the alarm
>Fuck
>Fight tooth and nail through the bandit camp
>Holy fuck they're coming out of walls
>Game over man game over
>Archerbard finds a seige weapon in one of the tents that's described to us as being a semi-automatic ballista on wheels that needed to be reloaded every five shots
>Naturally turns it against the bandits, the wizard helping her reload it since all his best spells were already dried up
>Boss bandit drags a kid out of his tent in an armlock, demanding we stand down or he'll break the kid's neck
>Party hesitates, paladin begins to try and talk him down
>Archerbard decides to shoot him with the ballista in an attempt to save the hostage
>Fudges it, badly.
>Natural 1
>GM describes in great detail as an enormous fucking ballista bolt impales the kid through the face and the bandit boss through the chest, killing them both and pinning them against a nearby tree
>Everyone flips their collective shit and the GM decides to call it there
She didn't show up to the next session

>>48955557
What?
Why the hell not?
That is a great fucking session ender!
The argument with the Paladin after that would be great. That could be a real character moment.

>>48956564
I guess it could be just how much detail the GM went into.
Could have been anything from graphic to virt-on-elves.

>>48956721
>virt-on-elves.
?

>>48957261
Virtualoptim is a troll who got permabanned last year. He's basically what you would get if you printed out the "pretending to be retarded" comic and put it in the magical Indian cupboard.

I'm starting a session soon with one of my good female friends DMing this time.
She was a player last session, and was really fun to play with.
She once started an encounter with a bunch of dire wolves, because we weren't sure what made the noise near us and shot an arrow at them.
Then when they came to fight, she decided her character wouldn't just kill wolves without cause, leaving the fight to the paladin and me while she and my druid gf just watched.
Start an encounter with a bunch of town guards? She'd make necklaces out of body parts instead of taking loot.
She at least sticks to her character.

>>48957282
>Magical indian carboard.
Kek

>>48942964
See? This is why you never let women into your group.

Never had a girl at the table. Closest thing was a gay dude who mentioned he was a bottom.

>>48957680
That's a bit That Girl though, innit?

>>48957737
>retyping text instead of just highlighting it when you quote

>>48942535
Felicia Day.
I was at a convention, we were playing 4e as part of some big mega-event LFR thing.

She was alright. I honestly expected way worse.

>>48944275
You like fucking felicia "fishmouth" day?

>>48957926
>She was alright. I honestly expected way worse.
She's nice when she gets paid.
$5000 a weekend plus travel expenses & accommodation

>>48957890
Nah, that's actually the most tame out of all the shit we've got going on in our session.
That was more or less a "just have fun" session

My character is a shorter than normal halfling that was raised by bears more or less, and just intimidates most encounters.

We had one guy legit waterboard and seduce an old shop keeper for no reason other than the shop keeper found him in his shop after hours trying to find a good staff.

Then there's the character that plays a bear that was raised by humans that is legit out to get my character, even to the point of setting up explosives at the town clinic and blaming it on me to the guards.

The girls character at least is just a "I respect nature more than I respect humans" chaotic ranger elf.

I ran a game for a bunch of uni friends and the one girl in the group outplayed all of them. Played a simple human rogue. She used her skills well (used her streetwise and bluff to arrange a meeting with a criminal kingpin to find info on a quest, something I hadn't even considered), was always backstabbing and was by far the most effective team member. The others were good but she really made some shiny moments.

> this girl who was 200lbs and had size DDD boobs. She has a habit of making special snow flake characters

>other girl who is 200lbs and very much Jewish. Pretty chill but is very hard to get her in character. Played a teacher in a Star Wars adventure. Getting her role to jive with the party was a pain in the ass

>>48955534
woo

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>>48957282
>He's basically what you would get if you printed out the "pretending to be retarded" comic and put it in the magical Indian cupboard

Jesus God my sides. You should try writing, anon.

>>48942867
>>48942868
>Not skipping at >>100 kg 1,50 m, no neck, sausage fingered, pendulously chinned
>Not jumping ship at >>barely capable of coherent speech
>Continuing to read after >>inserts exhibitionism and rape

You have yourselves to blame.

>>48957893
I alternate between the two methods depending on my mood.

>>48957956
What kind of thristy retard would pay for all that shit?

>>48959610
You... do realize she's a real celebrity, right?
She is an actress and voice talent.
She gets invited to conventions as a guest.

>>48959789

Bullshit. Women can't have talent.

>>48954902
Definitely rape

>>48942672
Let me tell you about the English language

>>48942672
This makes me feel a lot more comfortable with my shitty domain of the english language.

Thanks Mr.Fuck.

>>48955003
it really depends
some states have laws that protect pre-existing relationships

So mine was a player in a game with me.
Goth chick solid 9/10 amazing tits.

Thought my luck was on the up when we started dating.
First time around at her house after a couple weeks
>used rubber in the bed
>dead bats in the freezer
>pregnant the week after
>wants me to go for a joint lease with her on a house (don't think she realised i owned mine)
>catch her in bed with a dude, oh we weren't having sex anon.

Glad it was a very fucking sort relationship (like less than a month)
Last i saw she was married to some poor schmuck and had 5 kids to 3 or 4 fathers

I am by no means poor, and have always expected people to try and take advantage of that fact, plus I look like a 6'5" version of the mountain.
So i guess i should have expected it.
Her loss though, i retired at 28 and am building my own distillary for a hobby

I have no bad stories about female players

only played with a handful. One was the typical "got roped into playing and doesn't care and doesn't know anything about the game", another was a GM who was really a fun person out of game but as a GM was boring as fuck, one played a life cleric and was just a total sweetheart and was pretty good at RPing

boring, I know

>>48953222
"Toy lightsaber"
Anon i think he was using something else she didn't want to mention outright

>>48947899
I'm 140, thank you very much.

>>48955003
>>48960082
But it wasn't

>>48961107
it wasnt
but she did technically take advantage of you

>>48961199
It's fine. Some people are into that sort of thing.

>>48961219
Mostly women

>>48961230
Bullshit
Femdom is super popular.

>>48961199
I'll bite, how did she take advantage of me?

>>48961284
Rape fantasies are held by the majority of women

>>48961316
i said technically
cause an 18 year old fucking a 15 year old is illegal
so its statutory

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>>48942672
>smokes at the table

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>smoking in the proximity of non-smokers.

>>48954902
"technically" It'd be rape because of your age
but you clearly weren't

>>48954902
So no rape took place because you wanted it. Now if only you could tell this to feminists...

>>48961588

Well, and no rape took place because you can't rape a man. But otherwise, agreed.

>>48948730
>>48952774

As well, my wife. Love playing with her. And we play with two other married couples so it's not weird for anyone.

I've played with a bunch of female players over the years, and there's a fair amount of decent stories and good people there, but I have to give a shout-out to my cousin Jane, who wasn't exactly the person who started me on the path to being a giant nerd but was definitely a large part.

She introduced me to Magic when I was pretty darned young, taught me how to play AD&D, and I ended up playing Neverwinter Nights and Morrowind for the first time while hanging out with her. There was also stuff like competitive Pokemon and the fact that she and my aunt were hugely influential in my taste in literature growing up.

We used to have a great D&D group that met every couple weeks for about two years, and would draft at FNM's at least once a month from Kamigawa block into Guildpact, but when she started applying for colleges and was gearing up to move away, I, being about six years younger and really not wanting to lose one of the few family members I actually liked, threw a massive tantrum and we ended up not talking for years.

Then, out of the blue, she mails me a draft of the first few chapters of the novel she had been talking about writing practically forever, and we started hanging out again. I remember one weekend over a summer a while ago when I planned on hanging out with her and her sister for an hour or two, and then we ended up staying up for about 48 hours trying to deck-craft something that matched up well against Fairies in Timespiral-Lorwyn standard.

She and I still talk sometimes, but she lives about half the country away now, works crazy hours doing whatever lawyers do, and is married, so we don't really have the time to do much more than shout book recommendations at each other in passing and talk about trying to organize an online 7th Sea campaign or something like that.

>>48957282
>magical Indian cupboard.

Nice reference. Remember reading that book in gradeschool.

>>48961903
Movie version was cool too.

>>48960758

You have been visited by the Redeemed Succubus of Bad Grammar. Eloquence and charisma will come to you but only if you post 'Thanks Mr. Fuck" in this thread

>>48944275
>fucking Harmonquest gave me a serious hate for Aubrey Plaza

You're right, that was disappointing to find out. Fucking loved her on Parks and Rec... But it kind of makes sense that that's the sort of character she'd play, especially if she was told before the show that since she was just there for one session, her character would probably die.

But seriously, there was no reason to dick over Jeff like that.

>>48948076

Okay there, Craig. Chill.

>>48945130

Have you ever thought about "accidentally" unplugging her oxygen?

>>48961391
that's completely legal where I live.

>>48948243
>The bitch wrote a note to cloak-guy after all of this went down, which made it clear to us that she had fully expected for us to be cowed by her actions, and that she anticipated being let back into the group with greater power than before.

What the f--

>(some of us were still in high school at the time)

Oh right, yeah. This all makes sense.

>>48952809

I thought you meant Kristen Schaal for a second and tried to remember how wide her hips were.

That said, I'd hit that. Pretty hard too. Kristen Schaal that is.

But the girl you're describing sounds cool too.

>>48953222
>as he walked out of her room he turned back and whispered "Anime trash"

Doing it right.

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>>48942591

>>48958597
>pendulously chinned

Okay, but that part is hilarious and made me think there'd be more funny shit as I read on.

>>48960996
Pics or it didn't happen anon.

Women are banned at my table

>>48942535
I've got a 3 guys 2 girls game that works pretty well.

>Big fight happens, party murders bugbear and continues on.
>Before they leave the area, eagle eye rouge notices some shuffled brush and foot prints around a tree.
>surprising as she rolled with disadvantage due to mixing so much beer,wine, and hard booze at the tavern and now is horrendously hung over and has rolled a one in the last combat and ended up puking her guts out.
>she drops back from the party silently, no one notices. She gets to the hidden bugbear chest and pockets the loot she finds.
>Party finishes quest and on the way back the paladin wants to make a check for that chest for any forgotten loot (this girl was lame, pathfinder trash and was trying to game the system all session)
>Lady Pally cant open the chests so she rolls to punch it open. Natty 20.
Nows a good time to tell you all that I've got a thing where party can text me anything they don't want to do in front of the group. Guess what the rouge did?
> she uses her armored fist as a key and busts the chest to find: Puke. A whole fucking chest full of barf and now covering her hand.
> Rouge says: GOD THAT BUGBEAR IS FUCKING DISGUSTING!

Party lost it and fell up about the place. Paladin Squishy Hand was not amused

>>48942535
The chick who introduced me to table top at a game of munchkin where I immediately maxed out my running and stealing skills.
She's nice and gentle.
She's also thick in a good way (hid my boner under my bag the whole game, and so did the other guy ).

>>48944168
Get them together. It's either a catastrophe you need to post on /tg/ or a way for you to get a threesome going.

>>48948076
It's all right dude. Let it go.
At least you slimmed down and aren't a fat neckbeard any longer.
Now browse /fit/ and learn the secret art of totally not!gay flexing.

>>48961069
Nah, I've known the dude for 3 years. It was definitely just a toy lightsaber.

>>48963716

You know, if you hadn't been such a pussy you and your friend would have had a story about the time you Eiffel Tower'd a thick chick.

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>>48942672
Here's an extra (Bully), nerd

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>>48949242
Kid, you just ain't cool

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>>48964325
>falling for the ad campaign
You seem pretty easy to convince.
Incidentally, I'm selling a bridge...

>>48964341
>ad campaign
You mean the thing tobacco companies haven't had in years?
Nice sour grapes btw

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>>48964354
They stopped because they've already won.
They produce a product that adds no actual benefit to a person's life and, in fact, does nothing but harm them and people are paying them for the privilege.

Shit, I wish I could get in on such a crazy hustle. I would love for people to pay me to do nothing to improve their lives.

And yeah, I have a right to be sour because there's always some douchebag smoker polluting my airspace. I don't force my choices on anyone, so nobody should force their bad, cancerous decisions on me.

>>48948752
People like you are why there is a stigma with table top hobbies.

>>48953020
Well, I was on a verge of mental breakdown. Last 1.5 months were probably the worst in all my life. So much stress that I got peptic ulcer, as my body, not yet fully healthy, started to turn on itself. Th constant feeling of depression doesn't help. And I'm still extremely irritable. My job helps this a little - as Russian government official I have plenty of opportunities to vent my frustrations on people. and they can't do anything about it.
Last week was so bad that I seriously considered killing her, everyone who would try stop me and, finally, myself. It's still bad, but at least I can function and live. But I still don't know what for should I live, as she was extremely important to me. And now I have a gaping void in my soul, almost as big as the entire universe.
Yes, it looks like I also got lots of issues. Though probably still less then she.
At least RPGs help, and I try to play and GM at least 3-4 times a week.

>>48942535
She was a diagnosed autistic lesbian single mom into anime and maids.
Literally could not understand 2nd degree (even when it wasn't banter, shit like "hey guys i'm giving up this campaign for this ERP group i found" would sound serious to her).
On top of that her character was a bipolar cunt that would save someone, then one minute later somehow decide to shoot him in the back, and not even in the name of murderhoboism. She'd get confused by her own actions and get depressed the rest of the session, apologizing both IC and OOC, even to me in private.

God I've never met someone with as much issues. Her kid is gonna be a total fuck-up.

>>48960996
>dead bats in the freezer
that's metal

>>48966626
>And I'm still extremely irritable. My job helps this a little - as Russian government official I have plenty of opportunities to vent my frustrations on people. and they can't do anything about it.
>Last week was so bad that I seriously considered killing her, everyone who would try stop me and, finally, myself.
>But I still don't know what for should I live, as she was extremely important to me. And now I have a gaping void in my soul, almost as big as the entire universe.

You disgust me. You abuse other people with your authority so you can feel better about yourself, and seem to think it's somehow acceptable. This level of edgyness is something you'd see in a 13 year old. Holy fuck even the "Hole as big as the universe" seems straight out of Linking Park lyrics.

She doesn't like you romantically. She will never do. You're just obsessed with her, in the most creepy sense of the word. If you'd 'actually' care about her, you'd think of killing yourself way before you could do anything to her.

Do seek professional help, because you're in no way a healthy adult.

>>48966903
don't forget the sense of entitlement
>I love you so you must love me.
when you love someone, it's your problem and yours alone. no one owes you anything. sacrifices unasked for are worth exactly nothing.

>>48942535
I can't remember.

>>48966903
>You abuse other people with your authority so you can feel better about yourself, and seem to think it's somehow acceptable.
Yes, it helps me feel a little better, therefore it's acceptable.
And no, I don't want or need any "professional help", the idea that anyone could get into my head is disgusting to me. It could cost me my career. And I want to continue it, my civil rank is already roughly equivalent to the military rank of captain, and I'm going to go higher.

>>48966979
>Yes, it helps me feel a little better, therefore it's acceptable.
wow, you quite a despicable human being, ain't you? no wonder the girl doesn't like you, nobody likes people so maliciously egoistic.
doubt you love her, you just want her for yourself. it's desire for possession, not love.

>>48966979
Remember, no matter how high you climb, she'll always be out of reach.

>>48966979
>Yes, it helps me feel a little better, therefore it's acceptable

No it is NOT you fucking egotistical cunt. That you have a shitty life does not make it okay for you to make other's lives shitty, too, so you can feel a bit better about yourself.
And second, you 'do' need professional help. Period. You've got the mindset of a psychopath. Also, in case you're not aware, psychiatrists cannot divulge the stuff you tell them. So it would not really cost you your career. Apparently, though, you care more about that than being a decent human being. No wonder you're miserable.

I loathe you. You've got the mindset of a 9 year old bully, without the excuse of being a child. You're disgusting, and she will never love you, much less if you keep being this horrible a human being. Also, the fact that you so abhor the idea of someone 'getting into your head' makes me think you know how rotten you are, and you just don't want anyone to realize.

Seek professional help.

>>48967009
If I climb high enough, few people would be out of my reach. It's Russia, law is only for those without power and connections.
>>48966998
I loved her and still love, I suppose. I sincerely tried to change. I achieved a lot in just a year. I solved lots of health problems, I became rather fit and attractive, I solved some of my mental issues - and, probably, uncovered more of them, deeply buried in my psyche until recent time. But all of it still didn't help.
The desire for revenge calmed a bit, but I still feel it.

>>48967075
You achieved nothing. Being fit and attractive doesn't mean shit if you're this horrible a person. She won't like you solely on being attractive, and no, what you feel is not love, it's obsession.

>If I climb high enough, few people would be out of my reach. It's Russia, law is only for those without power and connections.

Lemme guess, you also think morals are for the weak.

>>48967075
>But all of it still didn't help.
did she ask you to do all that? efforts, deeds and sacrifices unasked for are worth nothing.

>>48967095
The only source of morality I recognize is my own will and my own desires.
>>48967073
>horrible a human being
Neither me nor she never really considered ourselves to be "human beings".
It also applies to my small circle of closest friends. They also don't really consider themselves to be human and despise them. One of them likes to brag about people he killed at war, for example. Not only in battle, but also in mop-up operations (zachitska's). He only does it among friends, of course, no need for anyone else to know.

I don't really know why I'm telling all of this.

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>>48942535

My mother.

>>48967200
>>48966979
>>48966626
woah, we got a tough guy here, better watch out or he'll sick the KGB on your rear.

>>48967345
It's FSB now, and I don't know much people from here yet. Couple of Senior Leutenants, no higher.
Though they constantly barrage my agency with most idiotic requests, and it sometimes frustrates me, because such requests are usually urgent. And you don't say no to them.

>>48967421
>Senior Leutenants
I mean, personally acquainted with, outside of my and their jobs.

>>48967421
Well, perhaps you being a sadistic guy who gets peace of mind by having people inconvenienced or hurt is why she doesn't love you? Have you tried being a better person, if you've changed yourself so much already?

Alternately, have you actually tried asking her out?

>>48967200
>The only source of morality I recognize is my own will and my own desires.
Morality is, by definition, external to your desires. It's the inherent believe that there's thing that are good and bad independently.

>Neither me nor she never really considered ourselves to be "human beings".
>It also applies to my small circle of closest friends. They also don't really consider themselves to be human and despise them.

No, you are human. Stop the "I'm not human" teenager bullshit. You are human, independently of you liking it or not. You're trying to avoid the definition because you're a terrible one at that. And chances are you despise others because they're not miserable as you're saying you are. That's why you like abusing your power, is it not?

Have you considered that the source of all your woes is probably yourself? You'd be much happier (And lovable) if you actually tried to be good, you know.

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>actually believing someone on /tg/ is a Russian government official who tortures people
/tg/ - Fiction & Falsehoods

>>48967460
so? half the stories on /tg/ are blatant lies and fiction. doesn't stop them from being enjoyable.
dude is just roleplaying an edgelord russian official.

>>48966979
Either a textbook sociopath or a very devoted shitposter. Either way, kys.

>>48954902
so it wasnt rape, it wasnt /ss/, it wasnt even hot?
got it?

>>48967445
I was most helpful to her. All the time. Brought her gifts, including expensive ones. GM'd games solely for her (told her "I would create new worlds for you and your pleasure), spending lots of time to prepare games, trying as hard as I could. And I spent a lot of time with her.
But every time I tried to make my move, she shut in, as if it was painful to her to allow others to get close. She had quite a history of abuse, and I know it. Including being raped multiple times, first hen she was 12, and several very abusive relationships.
I knew about it from our mutual friends (she told me this and asked to keep the fact that I know about it secret) and I tried to change myself. I didn't want to be abusive to her. And wasn't. I considered (and consider) her to be my equal. Even vowed to never hurt or offend her. It was, probably, the one of the things that stayed my hand when I almost went mad because of her long silence and rejection.
>>48967476
>>48967460
Well, I could theoretically take pics of my papers. Or if anyone could check my IP, the would see I'm not lying. Not sure if mods could do it. But I don't want to compromise my anonimity.
I just speak about it because it it makes me feel a little better.

>>48967583
Oh, you bought her expensive gifts and DMd for her. That changes everything, anon. You are completely entitled to have her all for your own, then. Also, congratulations on staying your hand, anon, not killing someone you supposedly love makes you great.

>>48967626
I also told her I love her. And proposed her to become my girlfriend. Couple of times.
And I was going to eventually invite her to live in my home, marry her, share the money I make with her and devote lots of my time to her. And I was ready to give her anything she wanted.
And also I wanted wished to find everyone who abused her in previous 15 years and to make them suffer for her pleasure, amusement and revenge. Though I never told anyone, especially her, about that.

>>48967805
Being nice to someone (even super duper extra special buy-them-expensive-shit nice) doesn't entitle you to their love

That ain't how love works, and the fact that you think it does may or may not have had somethin to do with why she didnt love you back

>>48967867
I hate it when I fall in love. It's the 2nd time in my life, and it always made me do stupid shit and suffer.
I tried to resume using whores, as I usually did, but they just disgust me and make me sick now.

>>48967583
>(told her "I would create new worlds for you and your pleasure)

Such defiance!

>>48967805
>>48967915

Consider becoming a good man instead of a disgusting excuse for a human being. Maturing a bit might help. Seriously you've got the mentality of a high school student.

>>48967446
>Morality is, by definition, external to your desires
Then I don't recognize any form of morality.
Damn, It's rather difficult to discuss such abstract topics in non-native language.
>No, you are human
Never considered myself to be one for last 20 years. I have human body, yes, and many parts of my mind are also human. But there is more than that.

>>48967915
Love is all about the stupid shit, that's the worth of it. If it werent for heartbreak, we'd never really know its measure.

Plus saying shit like "using whores" is the real reason you cant figure love out. You see people as a means to an end, of course love makes no sense to you.

>>48968120
>Never considered myself to be one for last 20 years. I have human body, yes, and many parts of my mind are also human. But there is more than that.

What more? You claiming to be some kinda cyborg? Million Dollar Man over here?

Or maybe you're a gorilla that learned to use 4chan? Koko with a keyboard?

The best and worst humans are still human, and I'd bet good money that you're neither the best nor the worst by a long shot.

>>48968120
>Never considered myself to be one for last 20 years. I have human body, yes, and many parts of my mind are also human. But there is more than that.

It's extremely common for kids who don't fit in very well to imagine themselves as an "other", who's just biding their time until their superpowers emerge and they can slaughter all the sheeple without consequence. Usually they grow out of this self-perception by the time they're 17-18.

>>48960996
Pics or the distillery isn't real

>>48968075
>>48968205
I have no need or desire to become a "good" man. Concepts of good and evil mean nothing to me. I'd like to become happier, though, but without betraying my desires and motivations.
Considering my mentality and psychological age - this is, probably, a valid point. As one of my friends with some medical background told me, during last year I fixed a lot of problems with my health, including hormonal levels. So I suddenly started to feel emotions without any real experience how to deal with them. People usually pass through this phase in puberty - but not me. So there is a strange situation - emotionally I'm probably 14-15 years old. While really being more then twice older than that. And also having some relatively minor, but still real authority and power. And actively trying to get even more.
It's rather strange, yes.
>>48968128
>Plus saying shit like "using whores" is the real reason you cant figure love out
It's mostly because I not always know the correct expression in English. I rarely write as much as I do today. But you probably have some point.

Most have been normal and pretty easy on the eye, or at least normal. Most are in relationships with other girls, but I met a girl at FNM once and went out with her a few times.

Worst I can only imagine, because I never played a game with them, but they were in the RPG society at Uni and others had shared a table with her. This 'girl' attended our film screenings and was that hideous blubbery mass, barely human let alone female. The stench was the worst, you could smell them when they came in the room. You could smell the BO and piss from several rows of seats away. I didn't know human smell could even travel that far. People complained. One evening the organisers told her she had to wash or couldn't come, so she stopped attending.

>>48942535
that thing is disgusting

>>48969637
I don't understand how people can live like that.
If I don't brush my teeth twice a day and wash at least every other day I can't stand how I end up feeling.
People who go weeks without washing... it shouldn't be possible.

>>48969883
Really bad voice actor too

>>48958517
Thanks anon. It's actually my job.

>>48953755
Perfect candidate for:
"So how come we never hooked up?"

>>48968414
Pretty much yobanyi pizdyozh tho.

>>48942535
Probebly certain Jane.Just as name suggest, she was pretty normal.

>>48971720
wut?

>>48947899
6'3 140 pounds here fat boy

>>48973429
Are you a skeleton?

>>48953998
You must have lots of friend

>>48973443
Pretty fucking close mayne.

Haven't been able to gain a pound since high school

>>48973443
Skelton here, shit kinda sucks.
Thyroids, bro, how do they work?

>>48942535
This/That Girl thread?

>usually plays a complementary role to my character because we're old friends irl
>our characters tend to be best bros from way back or fast friends
>tends to intentionally try to find some way to mesh with everyone at the table so our characters always have a reason to be friends instead of just coworkers
>encourages the more asocial players to engage in roleplay, but dismisses and shuts down the early attempts to immediately jump into romance
>most of her characters have a laundry list of tavern girls and stable boys that would make a veteran bard blush by the time we've spent a week in one town anyway, she has no time for intra-party romance
>will also wingman the shit out of the bard if one shows up
>always brings extra drinks to the meetup for everyone
>goes out of her way to talk to NPCs and jump at plot hooks the GM sets
>actively tries to help the GM link her characters' backstories to the game so her character always makes sense in-game

Shame we never get to play anymore.

>>48964222
Is that from the comics with the sensible orcs and lewd elves?

>>48971720
Boт я был бы дoхyя paд, бyдь oнo пиздeжoм.
Пиздeц пpocтo кaк paд. Ho yвы, вce тaк и ecть, кaк oпиcaнo вышe, и кpышa, шypшa шифepoм, cтpeмитeльнo пpoдoлжaeт eхaть, блджaд.

>>48963483
Gotta have that eagle eye rouge, I bet it will give my cheeks more color, too!

>>48942535
your mom
i had her on the table goooood.

>>48974894
ebin

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>>48947899
>used to make fun of people like that
>now it's me

>>48942535
Can't really decide who's the most memorable. They've all been cool, more or less.

>Buddy's wife who was super into football most of the time, but picked up on tabletop real quick and was as bro as any dude. Was even a pretty good DM, chill as fuck.

>Girl and her husband who joined through a Uni club I started. She was more of your standard "nerd girl" and had volume control issues, but always brought 100% to game (if a little too edgy for my taste). The problem was that a couple other members of the group haaaaated her (including the guy whose house we played at) and made life shitty for her until I stopped inviting her and her hubby just to stop the drama (felt bad about it, but you have to choose between friends and acquaintances sometimes (I think she lurks, if so, Sorry Andrea, you deserved better).

>Buddy from my theater program who is a pair of glass slippers and primogeniture away from being a literal Disney princess. She always plays the cutest characters (pixies, starry-eyed druidesses, etc) and goes the most maniacal places with them. Also, she sings, a lot. She sings well, mind you, but a lot. Also, her husband is an old school grognard who grew up playing AD&D with his dad and brothers in Alaska.

Chicks at the tabletop are a lot of fun, it just depends on the group you have, the individual personality of said chick, and the general maturity level of all involved.

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>>48944168
>never been in the same room together

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>>48976789
MOTHERFUCKER!

>>48976789
ohhhhh, now I get it
Playing that game as a little kid was fucking weird

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>>48945093
it never gets better & you've done too much damage to change.
I'm so sorry Anon.

>>48942535
My friend's ex. Mediocre player, but her tits will be burned into my mind until the day I fucking die.

>>48963483
>Paladin Squishy Hand was not amused
This made me giggle like a fool.

I was GMing and my campaign involved an NPC met very early on, a lawful good Cleric of Sarenrae who ran an orphanage. He allowed the party to stay for free whenever just as long as they behaved around the children, which they had little trouble doing. The party sorcerer, one who worshiped Shelyn, was enamored with the Cleric NPC who never slept (He never needed to eat or sleep), he just kept watch over the orphanage and the children. He was always there when they needed him.

Over a year later out of game, the party had a massive crisis, as the Celestials and angels decreed that the material realm was only good for spreading sin and strife and started on a plan to wipe it out for good, purging everyone. Cleric disappeared, leaving his assistant to run the orphanage. Party had been fighting in a massive war (The cleric helped them in that as well) and they were curious as to his whereabouts, only to find he was previously a celestial and went to save the material plane on his own. Female Sorc wanted to follow him to help, due to the massive amount of assistance he had granted them during the game so far.

Get to Celestia, another six or so sessions of them fighting to the seraph, killing the seraph, and finding out that their friend was all right, even as the other celestials died around them. Their link to the positive plane was destroyed, but their Cleric friend remained. His exile thousands of years prior had separated his link, but he still had an attachment to the plane itself. He wanted to save the material plane, and had to fight the party. My Sorcerer player was on the verge of tears when this happened, she had always looked to him for guidance, like a father figure. It was even more soul-crushing to her when she was the one to deal the final blow that killed him and saved the material realm.

We ended that session early, she had to step into the other room and weep for a bit. It was quite touching how the characters felt about him, but her especially.

>>48967446
>They also don't really consider themselves to be human and despise them.

>>48967583
>But I don't want to compromise my anonimity.

>>48968120
>Then I don't recognize any form of morality.

>>48968414
>It's mostly because I not always know the correct expression in English. I rarely write as much as I do today. But you probably have some point.

You are full of shit. You ham-up your English when it's brought into question, but have had no problem with the same words elsewhere in the thread

Nothing to see here, lads, just another spastic pretending to be deep online.

My girlfriend. She originally joined our group back in middle school, we scared off by being a bunch of horny idiots (what with us being about 13 and she going through puberty), we regained contact years later during uni and now we're still playing.

>>48942964
Erin sells you guys out to become a lich so she wouldn't die
applause to Ian for setting that situation up
applause to Erin for choosing the in character option of "I don't wan't to die"

>>48942535
in my two play groups I have 3 girls all pretty regular
grill 1
loves characters with DPS
she plays wow so that's why I guess
dangerously young
Grill 2
Fangirl extraordinaire
character is always bubbly like her
can now be evil at a 6th grade level
grill 3
player's girlfriend
generally plays a pretty neat character
shy blends into the background

I guess since all of my sessions are done with my friends there aren't really any really wacky characters

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>>48983391
>dangerously young
Remember always to behave yourself, Mr. Lolicon.

>>48942535
Well, my favorite PC is a woman. We've been playing together for six years now. She's the most experienced player I know beside myself (I've been playing D&D for a little bit more than ten years now).

>>48944168
The first one sounds cringy as fuck.
You talk like Ribs.
Are you Ribs? If you are, go fuck yourself.

>>48958057
> a "I respect nature more than I respect humans" chaotic ranger elf.
REEEEE

I fucking hate these players.

>in group with friends, one is 3-5/10 girl from various nationales (raised in ireland/australia/sever european countries, weird accent)
>playing a druid
>barely comprehends/speaks common tongue
>we're wandering through dungeon
>sees a bear trap
>It's literally a bear, as a trap.
>a bear hanging from the ceiling
>I spot the trip wire, and tell the group "We should probably kill that, chaps. T'would be a right foolish way to go".
>I am an english well-to-do fighter
>that uses a big fuck-off claymore
>she walks up to it trying to talk to it
>it's non responsive to her animal tongue, literally just flailing around trying to grab her
>she's STILL FUCKING TALKING TO IT
>after trying to convince the party one more time that I should hop on the shoulders of our 7ft tall goliath to stab the bear in the face (was pretty high up), it finally snaps the rope holding it up
>it mauls her to death
>so i decapitate it
>I take one look at her corpse, and all I can muster is
>"Told you so"
and I continued walking.

While I admire her ability to stay in character, it was a shitty, dumb character.

>>48962281

I have a cat that likes to wake me up by sitting on my sleep apnea machine's breathing tube. Real helpful little guy.

I've only had 2 women players and both were alright if a bit quiet
They went along with the rest of the party's decisions and were alright at role-playing and combat
Most of the guys I've played with were like this too

>>48961616
>a sudden dildo in the pooper isn't fun though

>>48976353

Chicks at the tabletop are a lot of fun, it just depends on the group you have, the individual personality of said chick, and the general maturity level of all involved.
That's just applicable to anyone isn't it? If anyone is like that, they'll be fun

>>48962281
>unplugging oxygen
>not mixing with just a tiny harmless bit of helium

>>48942535
Had a crush on a girl that played with me a few times. 7 face, 8 body, perfect 10 tits.

We told her just to pick a fantasy race and a class, and could tweak them a bit how she wanted to have fun.

So she played as Dark Elf thieve with three tits.

>>48943323
>>48948585
>>48952701
>>48983287


>people actually defending a traitorous bitch

Goddamn, I had no idea /tg/ was so full of thirsty betas.

>>48942535
Women don't play games.

>>48987268
It is if the character has a decent reason. Your party only giving half a fuck about you dying or living is a damn good reason to me.

>>48942964
Solid rp, first time I've seen a REALLY justified in-character betrayal.

>>48987548
>>48987881

Thirsty beta butt bois.

>>48947899
No, YOU are an undersexed 300 pound white male neckbeard teetering on the blah blah blah. Don't assume everyone is like you.

>>48963868
No, hold off on getting them together for an emergency. Like how you save that Portable Hole and Bag of Holding for the final boss.

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>>48989897

>>48953953
Bad things are more memorable than good or neutral things. As an exaggerated example, someone telling a That Girl story could have had 99 perfectly decent female players, but they wouldn't be the most memorable.

See also >>48954132

>>48943476
I realize this is atypical, but the majority of people with whom I've played are girls.

>>48962123
Thanks Mr. Fuck, but can't I have a regular succubus?

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>>48966979

>>48967915
Dear Cthulhu, no wonder you don't consider yourself human - you're actually an AI designed to act like a GoT character.

>>48990282
If you had read the whole thread before posting, you would have known that it turned out to be pretty boring.

>>48990353
Boring? That misanthropic, edgy 13 year-old rant that made Chris-chan seem like a good person by comparison? It was beautiful. It made my self-esteem skyrocket, knowing that I don't have to pretend to be an evil government official to get attention.

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>>48990450
>pretend to be an evil government official
If only I was pretending.

>>48964433
Do you live away from car traffic?

My gf, because she's one of the best players in my group and can actually get into character.

>>48973584
BRIAN?

>>48991752
I don't get it

>>48942672
I don't understand. Is it trying to communicate?

>>48963868

Goth Girl and I are both more into curvy blondes.

>>48983513

I don't know who or what that is.

>>48976789

Reinstalling.

Memorable bad or memorable good? Because I'm not sure I've actually had the latter. Then again, it's probably due to me and the guys I play with being loathsome wastes of human flesh rather than there not being good female players. Sample sizes and all that.

Anyway, the most memorable is a girl who ended up being the DM's girlfriend in two different campaigns with two different DM's about 5 years apart. This was a heinous bitchskank dredged up from the bowels of a particularly foul-smelling Hot Topic. And yet two different DM's I played with ended up dating her. She had more issues than Shonen Jump and was a hugely manipulative bitch who got my highschool best friend thrown in jail over false rape charges.

This girl was everything you'd think a DM's girlfriend trope would be and then more. Both times. She constantly was not paying attention to the game, often going out of her way to try and drag other players away from it to pay attention to her. Every time something bad happened, she'd whine and threaten to withhold sex from the DM. One time she brought a friend just to get said friend to try and seduce other players into doing things for her character. I wish I was joking.

The worst part was warning my that second DM what had happened the first time and that I was out if it started happening again. It felt bad to leave that game when he started acquiescing to her bitching. Oh well, life's life I suppose.

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I know that nobody will believe this, but hey, consider the odds. And OP did ask, "most memorable," soooo. . .

It was the mid-90s. I wasn't in college at the time, but lived near a private Roman Catholic law school that a couple friends of mine attended. None of them had played any D&D before, but wanted to learn, and knew I had DM'd in the past. The best-looking male player in the group (a real player) wanted to nail this one girl, so he asked her into the group. I was unaware of this.

She was def. not a "nerd girl." She was a former runway model in California. I saw her portfolio, and that's actually how she paid for college. Way too skinny. She smoked, got drunk a lot, and still threw up on purpose occasionally. She was also in a sorority.

But she was also in the theatre arts department and was really into improv as well as JRR Tolkien. She turned out to be a great addition to the group and a real team-player.

Me: Well, [best role-player]'s character died. Wat do?

Her: Let's have a funeral! We could read the lament of Boromir?

Me: Who?

Her: From LOTR!

Me [ashamed]: Sorry, I only read The Hobbit.

Her: No excuse. Here, you can borrow my copy of Fellowship.

And that's how I read LOTR. All of 'em.

But seriously, the chick was crazy. But she talked me up w/her roommate, who liked listening to me read ROTK to her. She was more my type, and we started dating.

The campaign went well. Everyone had a good time. It broke up with the usual real life/school issues, etc.

>>48942535
Jojo. Greek girl, in current gaming group. Player of:
Pat Minotaur, BARD SUPERSTAR! Who once convinced the High Lord Darlmoth that we had to enter the portal to another world to "Spread the ROCK", allowing us to set up the first cross dimensional trading post.


Darthena, welder of the Hammer of Shatters, which shattered it's victims body into bone ninja stars. She then gifts the stars to passing kids cuz' she don't use them. Giggles when they hurt each other with them.

Salix, the son of a succubus, sailor of the Howling Sea. Slowly loosing soul to his warlock patron. Horns are now Lobster tails.

Love her like a sister, and she can riff with the rest of us.

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>>48994836
>Pat Minotaur, BARD SUPERSTAR!

. . .

That. . .was AWESOME!!!

>>48995060
That's my Jojo