You don't just write goblins off as fodder, right anon?

>>48919518
tell me about your gobbos, OP

>>48919518
Goblins are lame nowadays. I roll once or twice on a mutation table and make little fodder guys off of the results. Works alright.

>>48919518
That's what we have hobgoblins for. Goblins aren't good for anything except lining the bottom of mass graves.

>>48919518
But they have to be pitiful cannon fodder to make my setting work.

>>48919518
Seeing as I use everything for fodder yet humans can still be characters and fun encounters I fail to see how "fodder" status means "uninteresting".

Maybe you're just bad at GMing if you can't use anything in any way.

Shorstack a shit
Tall&lithe a best

If you're going to start a thread with a shit OP like that, at least dump goblin porn so the thread can get deleted faster.

>>48919518
>goblins
Surely you mean metahumans of 12-H variety?
"Goblins"? How unscientific.

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>>48919518
I'm not really sure how to make goblins interesting. Aside from making them green shortstacks.

I mean, I have kobolds as my industrious and devious trap builders. They have draconic connections, they have hero ancestor worship and occasional minor civilisations.
They've got a few strings to their bow to work with, even if you dont always use them all in the same setting.

But what do goblins have exactly? They're.. devious.. build traps.. nothing really unique. Alchemy perhaps, but there's only so far I can push that.
What's goblin's unique selling point? Greed? What can I do with goblins that I can't do with anything else?

>>48919653
What about a shortstack on stilts?

>>48919824
> What can I do with goblins that I can't do with anything else?
What can you do with other humanoid races that you can't do with humans?
Just put shit in for no reason, man, it's fun.

>>48919851
>just put shit in for no reason, its fun.
Scat goblins are horribly under utilised

>>48919518
Goblins are basically short green gypsies.
Fortune telling, booze smuggling, whoring, petty crimes, all that jazz.

>>48919824
Prostitution, good for all odds and ends.

>>48919548

This.

Goblins are so 1980's/1980's.

Kobolds are the superior modern choice for retarded, tiny, easily killable creatures that are cowardly and attack in droves and do stupid shit.

>>48919518
My goblins are like WoW goblins: they are completely fucking demented.

>>48919518
So anybody else thinks Alfie will fuck off with the caravan?

>>48920003
>unironically reading InCase for the plot
You gay, nigga.

>>48920003
The caravan's gone already, matey.

>>48919975
"I laugh in the face of danger! Ha-ha-ha-ha!"

>>48919975
That's also Pathfinder Goblins.
Well, that plus pyromania and shark teeth.

>>48920003
>So anybody else thinks Alfie will fuck the caravan?
I sure hope so. I like me some slutty shortstack gangbang.

>>48920102
Correction: has fucked off with the caravan.

My goblins are like Tolkien goblins, properly called Orcs.

>>48919653
this

Dwarf Fortress goblins.

>>48919824

>I'm not really sure how to make goblins interesting. Aside from making them green shortstacks.

Nothing wrong with that. At all.

>>48919824

>Aside from making them green shortstacks.

That's not interesting at all.

I like having goblins be artificers, exploding out of the ground with tanks and golems with 'orky' hijinks abound (looting and making even crazier and fun stuff)

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Oh I don't know makeing them actual characters. Like how guardsmen can be more than fodder when you just attach a name to em. Like instead of Goblin Chief call him cheif Globo Bobo gold raker. From that alone you can tell he's a greedy gobo. Or just really good at gambling

>>48919653
Lithe is good, but tall isn't. Gobbos should be short.

>>48919518
there is this midget that works at the mcdonalds drivethrough during the graveyard shift that I really want to fuck.

She's actually pretty hot desu

>>48919518
Goblins are shit tier and so is your fetish for dumpy Latina women

>>48919653
Them is fightin' words.

>>48919653
Ummm... Jareth?

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>>48919518
>You don't just write bulettes off as fodder, right anon? Surely not, you'd be writing off so many potential characters and encounters.

>>48919518
I've made my goblins Irish. Slapping a culture on a race is cheap, but damn if it doesn't make them flexible.

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>>48919541
>implying OP's setting has goblins
>implying OP has a setting
>implying OP plays tabletop
>implying OP isn't just trying to start another softcore porn thread

Recently I've bben kicking around the idea of making goblins, hobgoblins and bugbears not just the same species, but in fact the same creatures.

They're stages of life: goblins grow into hobgoblins who grow into bugbears, who grow into worgs

But I'm not sure if I want those to be simply age categories and not have this gradual transformation actually caused by something else, near-death experience maybe, or excess adrenaline from fighting
Also, I'm not sure if I want to keep bugbears being dumber than hobs and worgs dumber than bugbears. Sure, it works, but if they keep growing smarter as they age, it paints a wholly different picture

>>48928791

I think you maybe onto something, character actress Margo Martindale!

You know, there really aren't enough good shitposting roles for women.

>>48919518
Goblins and Hobgoblins in my campaign world are considered civilized (Read: PC) races. They even count among the "God-Born", Or the races that originally inhabited this world before the Oberking left (Yay for oblique references!). They are currently being systematicly oppressed by the Empire Secret Police in order to drive them south. There, it is reasoned, they will create a new kingdom. Once it's built, the Empire will Annex it and extend it's territory. At such time, Hobgoblins and Goblins will be excepted back at their original ranks and status. Next on the list is to exhile some dwarf leaders to create holds in the Greytop mountains and do it all over again.

>>48929253
Cont.
As for what the races are like, I play Goblins as Hardluck cases and what I call "All-most-theres", or people on the cusp of SOMETHING but can't make it for reason X. A race of urchins and Ignored potential. And unfortunatly squeeky voices.

Hobgoblin's culture is one of Social Classes as signified by the type of metal caps on their bottom fangs. Copper for Merchants, Iron for Soldiers, Gold for Bankers, Steel for Nobles... ect. They are very competent in what they do and have very little training or experience in anything else.

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>>48919518
Female goblins are fodder for my dick.

In muh setting, 'goblins' are an extremely rare race I haven't yet made aware to players.
They are not traditional goblinoids, instead being genetic misfits carrying traits of humans, elves, orcs, gnomes, halflings, and dwarves, with a hint or two of white dragonborn.
Stumpy, Medium humanoids about the size of dwarves, they share skin tone with any of their parental races, leading to orcish, elven, and humanoid skin colorations, mostly pale because they live far north.
As what amounts to muttfolk, they have a cartoonishly short lifespan (a 10-year-old is an adult, to a max of 30 years) and this leads to their outlook on life being very black and white, sometimes to the point of childishness. Either they are paragons and champions of the highest ideals they know exist, or they are complete and total degenerates. They live and breed quickly as their lifespan merits and most die horrible, excruciatingly painful deaths in the freezing, often sunless wilderness they serve as the workers and scouts of.
For the paragons, they often create powerful, well-known bloodlines held to a high sense of honor, skill, and duty, which is astounding to elves who seek out their services one century and find out in the next the descendant has become the world's foremost expert on killing glacial monsters. Insulting a goblin family is tantamount to slow suicide in a village where everyone knows and relies on each other to live.
As for the degenerates, well, 'motherfucker' is a descriptor considered more factual than insulting, and cannibalism isn't frowned upon unless the person is still alive- unless 'they had it coming'. I'll leave it at that.

>>48919518
I just use humans as fodder instead.

>>48929561
>a 10-year-old is an adult
Muh dick.

>>48919518

In my game, all goblinoids are basically Puerto Ricans. They live on an island, conquered by a human nation, the laws contrived so they cannot profit from their island's own ports, and are trapped in debt they literally are not allowed to do anything about as human banks tear apart their economy and close down their schools and hospitals in order to turn a profit on their debt.

This is why all the Goblinoids are crazy as shit and fight amongst themselves about whether to be fully a part of the Human empire, and gain the power to actually structure their debt and profit of their ports, or become completely independent and cut out the Empire entirely.

They're also crazy as shit.

Life on Goblin Island is hard, and it now costs more to grow food in their own soil than it is to import food.

This makes the Goblins crazy as all fuck.

Unless they live in the main city, they're likely to be farmers. In the city, it's hard to get a job at the ports since each shipping company forced contracts on the island that will only employ their own countrymen, or will only pay them coppers on the silver for their work, and hardly enough to live on.

This makes the Goblins completely batshit.

A lot of rich nobles build manses in their dense jungles and treat the island as their own personal playground.

You better believe the locals are fucking crazy.

The Empire tried to turn their beaches into real estate to sell to wealthy nobles. After supressing a violent and bloody coup, the Empire passed a law that ensures the beaches of Goblin Island will always and forever be public property.

Because those fucking Goblins are insane and will go further off the deep end then anyone else is willing to go to keep their beaches.

>>48929692
As in they have a adult body and mind.
Degenerate.

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>>48919584

Oh man, you have no idea what kind of shit you just stepped in. Lining mass graves? Maybe you're thinking back to the horde days. sure, sure, population size is a great deterrent to an invading army, but that's not how kingdoms get taken. That's not how influence expands. The goblins you're thinking of were bent to the whims of greater powers, or sloppy and disorganized. Nowadays? We do a lot more with what we have.

For one, there's those numbers. You got women looking like OPs pic up there and you can bet the population tends to skyrocket in most goblin settlements. Sure, this means more mouths to feed, but it also means more hands to grow the food with.

Secondly, you have the sneak factor. You get a team of goblins with a gunpowder charge in the sewers of some enemy city and you're in for a short war when the enemy fortifications collapse into the tunnels below themselves. That is assuming your civilization's alchemy has figured out explosives yet.

Thirdly, everyone expects us to be cheats and cutthroats, so we're good at it. Even in cities we don't control, we have vice on lock. You want a little green whore, a drink that's too stiff to be considered legal, some magically-poached goods, maybe a nicked dagger? Need a loan, or want someone gone? Goblin guilds have your back.

Sure, we like to live in squalor sometimes, but our royalty live off the fat of the richest kingdoms, reverse engineering their works and drinking in their fill of the labors of our foes.

Maybe after we plague grenade your city from our scout balloons you'll be lucky enough to line a mass grave. Don't worry, your children won't be affected, gotta snatch up some new citizenry and see what crazy half breeds we can make for the guild when they grow up and interbreed with society.

>>48929713

I like the pissed off kind of crazy goblins. Plus, Puerto Rico is almost never ripped off when it comes to fantasy settings. You see Western, Japanese and even Aztec shit all over but nothing ever from Puerto Rico.

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Goblins are the Skaven of my setting (but without nice things) and I'm happy enough with that characterisation.

>>48929909

I wonder if my goblins would fight goblins from other settings. It would be interesting to do an all-goblin continent with a number of gobbo civilizations with different views. Some are buttfuck crazy or puppet states, others are alchemical research havens in far off places.

>>48929892

Really I think the Carribean in general is ripe for great RP material. I mean, you've got Voodoo, Rasta, Rude boys, etc.

Really, you can base a whole campaign around island people struggling under an empire.

>>48929978

Goblin. Yardies. In. Cyberpunk.

>>48919824
i had a story idea where goblins are an emerging race of merchants and very adept smugglers and crime lords. though you can do that with humans i think you can get away with adding racial barriers to the mix without making people uncomfortable. (goblins look out for each other and treat humans and other races with disdain.)

so like, they're kind of like little green angry italian jews

>>48929909
Source?
I want to masturbate to dead goblin babies

My paladin appreciates goblins because his cleric mother met her husband when he was being chased by goblins for a meat sandwich.

Goddamn Incase goblins... Dude gave me a fetish for shortstacks, damn him!

In all seriousness though having goblins being more then low level exp fodder would be a nice change of pace from most games I've been in... But how would one make them stand out besides making them WoW levels of demented? Or risk going onto the other side of the scale and just turn them into green halflings?

>>48932278
I considered that, but at that point I'm basically just using WoW goblins.
Which, mind you, aren't a bad interpretation and have stuff going for them. But I'd rather not rip them off wholesale.

>>48933395
Goblin Slayer.

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Goblins have normal intelligence and wisdom scores. But they act like complete lunatics.

Why?

Short life spans.

Goblins mature fast physically, and learn quickly, but emotional maturity takes actual time. Goblin "adults" are teenagers. Their entire species is run by teenagers. It's fucking Lord of the Flies all the time, every day, living in filth and screaming at each other and starting fires and occasionally rioting in the direction of a human village. This is why they often wind up as mobs of minions for someone bigger and older: they need adult supervision.

The solution? Goblin Necromancers. In my setting, there's a real goblin culture starting to develop, based on the idea of making the most valuable, strong, and wise members of society immortal. This (according to the charismatic goblin necromancer who started the movement) is the only way to ensure true goblin self-rule, and end the cycle of being dependent on and kicked around by the longlivers.

If you're born as a goblin, you've got a handful of years to prove your worth to goblinkind. Could be as a soldier, a craftsman, a mage, whatever, but you gotta find something you're good at and go for it whole hog. Try to invent something brilliant, no time for safety precautions! Make a suicidal charge on the enemy position, if you succeed you'll gain eternal life! Welcome to goblin wizard academy: the shit humans learn in 10 years and elves in 100, you will learn in 2 or explode trying. 75% of goblin wizard apprentices explode, but fuck it, they only had a couple years to live anyway! We've got more goblins! More clever, reckless, vicious little motherfuckers, yearning for a shot at eternal life!

>>48929909
>Karl Franz

I lost my shit.

>>48919824
I just treat goblins like a mix of malkavians and supporting characters from monty python films. They make for fantastic flavor npcs that way and them being crazy makes them much easier to improvise.

They're angry little schizophrenic perverts who are bizarrely verbose and extremely immature. Way too much fun. My players even want to add one to the party as their NPC diplomat for shits and giggles.

>>48936013
Ah yes, that good old "Candle Burns Twice as Bright" wizard college.
>This year was an academy record, as only 56% of the student body and 22% of faculty was lost during primary Fireball training.

Do goblins ever have any racial gods, or any that even give two shots about them?

>>48936288
In D&D, they traditionally have Maglubiyet as their main patron god, but they also have a pantheon of other, lesser deities: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goblinoid_deities

In Pathfinder, they worship Lamashtu and the Four Goblin Hero-Gods, which are basically legendary barghests.
http://pathfinder.wikia.com/wiki/Goblin_Hero-Gods

>>48936407
Ah ok. I was considering taking a default setting, and add a new god that sometimes takes in members of races that show promise of being upstanding citizens, then proceeds to not only mark them but transform them into a longer lived and slightly less monstrous versions of themselves (who also breed less). Just wondering what gods should be pissed off for subverting their children.

>>48936494

Ha! Just imagine an elf god who did that to promising humans. "You show promise! You are not like others of your brutish, savage kind!"

Anyone who gets chosen and transformed is not gonna be popular with their original race.

>>48919518
They're a created race. Meant to serve as fodder.
They were created without fear, and a explosive enough birth rate to ensure that that lack of survival instinct doesn't kill the race off.

Eventually something like this:>>48936013
happens.

Same as normal dnd goblins but with a racial immunity to fear, like the Palidin power.

>>48936580
Yup. The ultimate goal of the goddess is to for every member of those races to either convert or die by the sword. Maybe not by her hand, but the conflicts will be encouraged and exploited. And of course, she'll be taking in all those orphans.

If she actually succeeds that with any race, their mark dissappears.

Any links to good female gobbo porn?

>>48919518
My goblins are wirelessly networked robots. They don't need to be interesting when they can be absolutely terrifying.

>>48937370
> wirelessly networked robots
> goblins
You mean cranium rats, not goblins.

>>48937425
Well, then, there's no gobbos in my setting. So there.

>>48937370
Like, literal robots or just classic hivemind shit?

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>>48919518

>>48937710
Literal. It's a science fiction setting.

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>>48929020
With all these smug anime girls, there's too many shitposting roles for women in today's society.

>>48919824
My settings goblins evolved on mountains and are now seeking tto make gobliny technology to honor the precursor race, which are djinn. There's also the usual merchants, miners, mages, and everything else they live in monasteries and are spiritual, but mentally competent enough to function when dealing with other societies.

In short, they're jeskai yordles

>>48937929
Oh, ok.
Not actual goblins then.

For Pathfinder, I ran We Be Goblins before I ran Rise of the Runelords and had the goblins become reoccurring villains/anti-heroes.

For 5th edition I fleshed out Droog to have been the local scavenger for the town that did odd jobs, who lives in an old badger den under the Sleeping Giant Inn that had gone missing so the PCs had a reason to not kill him in case they missed a lead. He ended up becoming a hireling for the party.

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>>48932278
>so like, they're kind of like little green angry Italian Jews.

"Good gob yes! Buy more potions, the dungeons are dangerous after all!"

any photoshop wizards that can turn this Jew into a goblin would be great.

>>48919518
My goblins are rural, Slavic farming orcs. They're notoriously short, but not tiny short (think Asians to Caucasians).

They're a bit more specialized than halflings focusing on somewhat exotic crops used in medicines, recreational drugs, alchemy, and as magical regents, and delving a bit into these fields themselves.

They have strong racial tensions with Hobgoblins (the French to their British, the every other Asian to their Every other other Asian), but also because there's a lot of phenotype similarities that people confuse the two (even they can't instantly tell one another apart) and Hobgoblins prefer coastal regions and tend to be sea raiders, pirates, and nomadic thieves, dragging down the reputation of regular goblins.

They are territorial due to a history of being raided and screwed over by dwarven races and dark elves, making them as bit slow to trust and willing to let people they trade with walk away with the short end of the stick. But hobgoblins piss them off the worst.

So, serious question, how would you actually pull off the "goblins are cute/sexy curvy green shortstacks" thing in typical D&D setting without going fullbore XXX-edition on your setting?

I mean, I definitely got no problems with the idea that humans will voluntarily fuck humanoids beyond elves and orcs, I'm just curious how you take a fairly "serious" setting and still do the more porny goblins in them.

Incidentally, there is at least one 3rd edition D&D setting that had official half-goblins - Dragonlance, the same setting that gave us half-gnomes and half-dwarves without any angsty racial baggage (aka, muls).

>>48939624
>voluntarily
If I remember the description, at least in the vidya world, half-orcs were typically products of rape.

One thing that can lead to the goblin thing is that they're kind of dumb so would be easily tricked into servitude. They're also not 9 foot tall walls of muscle and rage like an orc.

>>48939624
Forewarning: this is all based on some very sketchy biology.

>Goblins come from cold, mountainous archipelago which favored small bodies with good fat retention.
>Combine this with Goblin women usually averaging four to seven kids, often in litters, and the incredibly tiny size of goblin babies leaves Goblin women curvy from excessive levels of estrogen in their bloodstream
>This also is combined with the fact that large breasts and thighs are basically THE goblin standard of beauty for females as males seem almost hardwired to hit that so hard pulling them out makes you an English Monarch, adding natural selection into the mix.
>All this combined have meant goblin women have evolved to be short and curvy.

>>48936081
>Goblins that are Pythonesque
I am stealing this.

>>48926761
Stealing Globo Bobo Goldraker

>>48928696
I see what you're trying to do, and it's not really equivalent enough to turn into a meme. At least use Owlbears.

>>48919518

My Goblins are pretty much CoC goblins, just toned down so they are not actual rapists. Sure, they are shortstack and handsy towards the PCs, but none of them has asked why they haven't met a male goblin yet.

>>48941090

Oh, they know, Anon. They know exactly why.

They just aren't willing to take the invitation to your magical realm.

In my current setting, goblins are skinny, knee-high, and obnoxiously hyperactive. They're shortlived, which leads to a taste for hedonism and excess, but centuries of co-existence with humans means you'll find them all over the place, as anything from stablehands to politicians. Basically, the players meet something like one goblin for every four humans.

>>48919824
Goblins in a setting I've been mulling over are the industrious race. In fact, they're practically the Civilization Race.

The Elves are a powerful HRE-style empire fueled by Arcane and Divine magic fusions, but replace early firearms with magic wands. Gnomes are a little more advanced with an 18th Century early-industrial revolution vibe (invented warforged using cogs-n-shit).

But the Goblins? Imagine if the US Army circa 1865 just rolled into Faerun in all its fuckhuge glory. Repeaters, gatling guns, borderline World War cannon. Magic has taken a supporting role in war simply because firearms are so much more powerful. They're durable due to getting the most shit land and just scraping by for centuries, and they regularly combine their tech with vast and terrible Worg cavalry (yes I'm using the Zendikar stats for goblins) to devastating effect.

If they could ever stop killing each other long enough to turn against their real enemies, they might just wreck the entire world.

>>48919518
Goblins are what you kill if your alignment is good

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>>48919518
Doesn't fucking matter what I do, my shitlord players all want to be goblins anyway

>>48919518
> Playing a setting with non-humans

I mean, this would be a complete shitpost if you boring faggots weren't posting shit like "I make them like the Portuguese".

If you're going to have non-humans, make them inhuman.

For instance Goblins in my setting are non-sapient however they are extremely susceptible to memes, resulting in complex interactions that simulate intelligence. Yes I'm ripping off Blindsight here for the basic concept. They're all Eliza chat bots.

Feral clusters are considered to be fairly dangerous. They instinctively swarm and are sensitive enough to each other to react almost instantly. Not a hive mind, tactics only happen by mistake, but any weakness is immediately attacked.

Which honestly is like 70% of most tactics anyways.

Where their value comes from, is that if you can program them early on then they are excellent servants and civil workers. In order to prevent contamination they work in furtive groups, either in the dead of night or behind unseen doors and in structural tunnels. It's illegal to interact with or even acknowledge them.

I'm sure you can see possibilities here. "Infection" where a feral cluster learns to mimick them and wreaks unexplained havoc because the people have also conditioned themselves to not think of goblins if they're wearing their white shirt and tie, carrying their official clipboard.

Or the party can try and use them, but who knows what if anything they will respond to and how.

Or even a normal plague carried along never noticed because goblins don't actually question or communicate.

And there are still Gobbos to fight as fodder of course.

Now, if you guys want to get weird there's my halflings.

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>attractive goblins
cancer.
Goblins should be devilish little cunts with big noses.

Hobgoblins are great

The goblinoid family includes goblins, orcs, and ogres. Further, the child of an orc and a goblin is a hobgoblin.

I once toyed with a setting where goblins were short, ambitious individuals who adored magic, but had no talent for it. So they tried to seduce/capture & breed elves because such a union produced the hybrid "hobgoblins" who could wield it as their sorcerer-kings. Usually in the male elf/female goblin(s) role, since that's more efficient - female elves take so long to produce just one child, whilst a healthy female goblin could probably have dozens of kids in the same amount of time.

I gave it up after deciding I couldn't make it seem not a magical realm.

>>48919824
>Greed
You make them the Green Jew, anon. Maybe even Not!China-flavor Jew, if you like.

>>48945834
So. Uh. Feedback? Is this idea unique and fun? Terrible and try hard, go back to ripping off real cultures?

>>48919518
I think I do goblins right. They are chaotic neutral and full of fun. Once killed a player by cooking him "trust me he was being to reckless and asked for it". And all my best shop keeps are goblins.

>>48947297
>goblinoid shopkeeps
Right now my players' favorite NPC is a fast talking bugbear racketeer/gangster/salesman/information dealer.
They enjoy having someone crude but witty. If they don't pay attention, he'll get the best of them before long.

I make my goblins shitty on purpose. That way their divine handlers- the hobgoblins- are justified in their enslavement and control or the lessee goblin races.

Hobgoblins are playable and respectable- actual goblins are shit and deserve to be slaves.

Nope, DM has goblins as the dominant race. It's like some sort of nightmare Planet of the Apes situation except gobbos instead of apes.

In my setting Goblins are smarter than Orcs, Trolls and Ogres (who are their "biological" relatives if you like) and rule over them.

Goblins - Nobility
>Little fiendish looking humanoids who are cunning and play endless mind games among the different clans
>Don't achieve a lot due to their shorter lifespans and inability to agree with their peers on anything leading to infighting

Orcs - Labourers and Warriors
>Roughly the size of humans but sinewy, rougher and have a wiry strength
>Are actually quite timid and shy creatures that don't perform well without leadership
>Not the brightest

Trolls - Warriors and Captains
>Head and shoulder taller than Orcs, rather lean and almost look malnourished naturally but massively strong, clawed hands with powerful grip, rippled muscle and hard as nails
>Not the brightest but have a natural know how when it comes to fighting
>Their exemplary bravery, strength and brutality is essential to keep orcs from routing or getting disorientated

Ogres - Status Symbols, Utility and War Machines
>Essentially giant thick set orcs with pathetic intelligence
>Extremely hard to breed and actually rather rare but are very powerful loyal creatures that are regarded like pedigree horses by goblin nobles if the goblin/clan is exceptionally wealthy they can afford to use them as war machines which also is a status booster (Hey look at me I have so many Ogres I use some of them in my battles)
>Dumb as shit, can barely speak any language and tend to speak in two or three word sentences

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>>48919518
Of course not!

>>48919518
i made my goblins the result of when a dwarf sticks his peener in an orc vagoo or vice versa
what (usted to) come out was something with the smarts and stature of a dwarf combined with the brutal cunning and pigment of an orc
they eventually become extremely powerful after figuring out the secrets of genetic engeering
so they cursed by the gods to lose their sanity forever
turning them into dumb, hyperactive, little monsters with a knack for inventiveness
hobgoblins and bugbears are genetically-created soldiers of the goblins, hobs serving as the stock-standard soldier types, ans bears as the more rare shock troops
of course these are just how they are in just one of my incredibly shitty, unoriginal settings

>>48945834
>>48947131
anon you can't just insult people then ask if your idea is good or not
that ain't how the world works

"Prepare to get fucked, stud"

>>48919518
I have a hunch that by "encounter" you mean "encounter" as in "sexual encounter."

>>48938004
Only asian women though

>>48950608
Its funny you mention CoC gobbos, because thats what I based a certain versions of goblins on that.

>Goblins were once very rapey, cave dwelling bandits until an adventurer captured a number of female goblins. He taught them, civilised them, and rewarded them with various small flirtations and gestures, basically teasing them with the promise of sex but only rarely giving them what they wanted. His intent was to create sub human slave pets for nobles, but, he choose to keep the creatures as his own harem(for various reasons depending on the source) and fled beyond a mountain range.
>In less than two human generations a small kingdom had sprung up in the wilderness and began pushing against the borders of neighboring countries until they began conquering or culturally assimilating the lands around them. After a few decades of expansion, the Goblins formed a pseudo Etruscan/Roman civilization that was known for the absorption and adaptation of ideas, beliefs, and technology and a religion based around the original goblin harem, now called the Brood Mothers, and the adventurer, who is alternately called the Brood Father or All Father since no matter the mother all "true goblins" have the same father.
>To keep their goblin blood from getting too thick and losing their divine father's gifts, the goblins import the best human slaves as breeding stock for a special version of Saturnalia that occur once every ten years. The slaves are treated as royalty and the manifestation of human deity, allowed to pay for goods and services with sex, and after two weeks of earthly bliss, are sacrificed to the gods.

Thus there are two races of Goblins; the lesser or elder goblins, which are brutish, ugly, and destructive tribal cave dwellers and the Krastovian Goblins, attractive, witty, though still fairly amoral creatures that hold a sizable kingdom.

I am morbidly curious... if one did decide to use the "roguish, mischievous, slutty shortstack" angle for a humanoid race in D&D, which would you actually use for it? Goblins, halflings, gnomes? Or would you go more perverse and use kobolds or ratfolk for it?

>>48953016
Goblins, possibly kobolds but they don't really work good as a shortstack

>>48953181
I wouldn't be so sure on the kobolds not being a good fit for that angle. They do have the whole "small, weak, smart" racial outline, so working on being appealing as a way to be underestimated/spared isn't beyond them. Plus, as the sporadic kobold threads here have shown, people do find "lewdbolds" to be appealing, and as an egg-laying species, they would presumably have nice, wide hips and potentially sexy butts to go with it.

Heck, I even talked about an "XXX-rated setting" version of kobolds where they can partially shift genders to ensure they can't go extinct and both sexes grow pseudo-breasts (breast-like fat reserves) as a status symbol and mating display (bigger tits = more successful kobold = more likely to produce good offspring) and nobody found that too hard to buy.

...I am suddenly reminded of a smutfic idea I had involving an underground wizard and the three "tribal representatives" - a goblin, a kobold and a ratfolk - who each try to seduce him in order to win his support for their tribe. End plan would have been they end up becoming his harem and he unites the three tribes into a successful underground kingdom. I never wrote it because I figured nobody would read it.

>>48953293
I can see them as lewd with hips and ass, I just can't see them with shortstack proportions

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>>48953016
Anything but Halflings.

>>48929817

Tell all that to a wizard who decides that some vermin extermination is in order after you goblin shits befouled the favorite neighborhood.

Wait, you cannot tell that to him, he's in his extraplanar mansion telling his harem of succubi about ittle green retards who got uppity. All the hints you get of his existence is demons and elementals appearing all over the place with the implacable magically-compelled intent to kill all goblins.

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>>48919518
How about instead of Sexy, Shortstacked Goblin women, we have Tall, handsome, and eccentric Goblin men?

Picture related.

>>48919518

Well, it is not like there is a point for their existence besides being fodder for low-level adventurers. They want to kill all other races and take their stuff, but unlike hobgoblins they just aren't that good at it and generally end up on the wrong side of a sword. Certainly, they are sneaky, good fighters for their size, and decent with metalcraft and alchemy, particulalry alchemy related to explosions, but in a DnD deathworld that just doesn't cut it.

>>48953532
Why not both?

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Goblins are for chivalry and field medics

>>48956285
Thats nice of them to give that lady a massage

>>48953438
Has anyone ever actually done halflings or gnomes as lolis/oppai lolis in D&D? I thought that was something you only saw in Japanese-only vrpgs.

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>>48933652
Freebooter's Fate.

Basically, not-Spain finds Goblins in the not-Bahamas. They are hairless and can switch genders like a sea creature, are crazy but make good slaves.

Then shit starts going down. Trade routes change so the armada is underfunded, pirates take part of the colony, another part rebels, nobility starts mafias, Amazons attack, and a venerable Orc (unrelated to Goblins biologically in the setting) pirate captain raised by Goblins in not-Europe shows up and teaches the Goblins how to into piracy.

Initially the Gobbos go berserk, then they start behaving as a second group of freebooters, playing all the sides against each other and benefitting from the chaos. They take part of the port and start civilizing, going over the heads of the armada and pirates by sending diplomats to not-Spain and getting legitimacy as a nation.

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>>48958140
https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Freebooter's_Fate

>>48919824
I basically make them the "roaches" of civilization in that they can live and thrive in hostile enviroments. They prefer to scavenge, improvise, and recycle. They're very efficient with the way they live, building homes out of wrecked ships, stacked rocks, and anything else they can use for shelter. Gobbos don't care if their home is sticks, bones, and cow shit. They can digest almost any kind of biological matter that isn't outright poisionous and constantly outdo eachother on who can eat the most disgusting thing. Three day old deer corpse? Of course. A fistful of swampy algae? They eat it on tree bark. Enemy goblins? Taste like chicken. Hell, in a pinch they don't mind getting down on all fours and grazing on grass with their horses.

With the ease of survival, you can see gobbo settlement cropping up pretty much anywhere, and some of them tend to be so isolated that the people had forgotten what the rest of the world is like. A few adventurers rolling into town might be hailed as some divine wonder... or maybe vilified as a demon. Some have even developed their own crude magics and metalurgy if left alone long enough.

Not too different from tradditional green guys, but still has some flavor to it.

>>48951690
I actually kind of like this interpretation.

>>48956285
>>48956349
>"Her neck stiff! She must sleep funny!"
>"Warm stone on stick will help with deep muscle knots!"
>"Argoth's Adventurer Spa requires pay in advance! Five gold full day's service!"

>>48956285
>>48960314

What wonderfully helpful little Goblins! Oe of them is even removing her pouches so she doesn't accidentally roll over and damage the contents. How helpful.

>>48928696
>Not going in to detail about the pack life and social doings of Bulettes
>Even trying
Pick one

>>48919518

Schrodinger's backstory; I keep some preset goblin "NPC" personalities buried among the encounter list - if they were one of the goblins that was dispatched by the PCs without thought, it wasn't the goblin NPCs with developed character; the ones the party talks to, THOSE are the ones with developed character, regardless on whether or not the last group could have possible been those goblins.

Yeah, I do, because I write of everyone as fodder. That's what happens when your players are futa catgirl not!femalespace marines. I write off humans, demihumans, semihumans, orcs, halforcs, urruks, goblins, hobgoblins, gnoblars, ogres, ogors, lizarmen, man-lizards, lamias, harpies, llamas, minotaurs, cebtaurs, tautaurs, tauntauns, giants, halfgiants, miniature giant space giants, dragons, drakes, wyverns, elves, high magic elves, forest elves, mountain elves, night elves, blood elves, desert elves, red elves, mountain elves, sea elves, dark elvea, fae elves... You either poke them with a sword and gold falls out or you poke them with your dick and cum flows out

>>48963853

>Gaming with Chaikats

Why

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>>48919518
>You don't just write goblins off as fodder, right anon?
No, that's what get's you killed

>>48919518
>3.5, level 1, party of 4
>Human Cleric (That Guy)
>Human Sorcerer (Bro)
>Dorf Fighter (Bro's pal)
>Half-Orc Rogue(ninja) (Me)

>The goblin army is advancing on your militia, and some of the townsfolk are starting to panic.
>ThatGuy: I tell them to chill out.
>(Diplomacy: not enough)
>DM: Your rousing speech didn't exactly impress, and a few of them are starting to panic, screaming "What do we do, what do we do?!"
>Me: I pick up a rock and shout "I'll show you what we do!" Then throw it at them.
>(nat 20, 20, 20)
>DM: Okay. Well. You picked up an old rune a Wizard dropped a few centuries ago or something, because that rock just zipped through a whole file of Goblins and split the tree in the distance, and now everybody is throwing rocks.

They later built a statue of me brandishing a rock, but at least it wasn't of me cursing out the Goblin I was choking to death with my bare hands because I rolled a pair of 1s and dropped my fucking short sword.
The point is those Goblins set the tone for my character, who I really didn't know what do to with.