What does the /tg/ wizard keep in his tower? >Ring of Book:

>The big branch of perfect dough
>Any dough rolled with this branch will make the perfect baked goods

>Extradimensional Library: contains copies of all the classics and great books of the past thousand years

>>48847429
>'Cursed' Extradimensional Library
>The wizard who made this had a very unusual definition of "great" and "classic"
>But hey if you have similar tastes it's amazing.

>>48847460
>It's literally every issue of every nudie mag ever published
>Yes, including the ones that feature men

>shotguns
>just everywhere
>some loaded, some not, none safed

>>48847496

How easy is it to filter through?

I don't need the nudie mags that feature my mother or a lookalike getting eaten alive.

Friggin' far realm.

>Bag of unlimited breadsticks
>They are still warm

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His virginity

>>48847567

Now I sorta want to know what a porno mag from the far realm would be like

>Teach of archeologist find a lost city in the frozen hell of the south
>Take back ancient tablets
>Find that running electricity through them causes them to activate
>Head scientist goes insane while most of staff committs suicide...Or worst
>Cult is formed to decipher to secrets of this table
>PCs rush in at the last second as it's about to be uncovered
>It's a 10 minute video from the far realm eqvuialent of pornohub
>Some female far realm being doing cuckold porn with a Big black Demon Cock

>>48847277
>A large room with a few crystal balls in it, each showing some hero or misfit on an ongoing quest
>He used to have the entire room filled up, but he moved most of them to an empty tower nearby
>He hasn't decided what he will use the opened-up space for, so for the time being he has put some garbage and old porn-mags there.

A magical mannequin/golem that takes the form and personality of whichever being's name is written on it.

There are many, many deeply troubling names crossed out on its body.

>>48847277
A chamber filled with homunculi. Just, entirely filled. Crammed in, all awake and thinking but unable to leave without permission and barely move due to the tight quarters.
They beg the party to remind the wizard they're still here and want to be let out and be useful.

A magical device that opens a gate to the wizards personal astral plane.
From the smells that assaulted you after opening the portal, the party wisely decides not to enter.

>>48847559
>all ammunition is skittleshot
>or nerds
>and a handful are filled with Mike n Ikes

A gallery full of pictures of sex faces. They all belong to a nobles of a (insert Fantasy Kingdom name here). Yes, even nobles of long past and future. Even females and bastards. Most ridiculous and embarrassing faces belongs to King's line.

An olympic swimming pool filled with water and dirt. In the pool are islands of dirt with miniature humans, animals and plants on them, all existing relatively peacefully. The humans are about three inches tall.

Once a year, the wizard teleports an animal into the middle of one of the larger islands and just watches the carnage unfold. Last year, he teleported a cat. Eight people died before they could stop Mister Mostly Mittens, the neighborhood cat.

>>48847277
Sucubi, lesser demons, and one prince of hell. Fucking freeloaders. I'm extremely dyslexic and summoning rituals are my current area of study. Progress has been slow. NO THANKS TO YOU LOT GET OUT OF MY FRIDGE BELPHEGOR

>>48847559
>>48847850
I will never understand /k/andy wizards.

>>48848077
>He's the only guy on this realm that keeps the souls of innocents stocked in his fridge
>...why?
>They keep the other souls fresh, like baking soda.