ITT: Joke enchantments you've put on items and given to

I had something similar, a sword called the Sword of the Great Seal.


It just played "Kissed by a Rose" whenever it was unsheathed.

>>48791229
Why are you an asshole

A ring of invisibility, given by a shifty man in an alleyway.

When worn, the ring turns invisible.

I'm a fan of doing this kind of thing, if you'd like to hear more that I or others have done.

>>48791250
how often do you do this sort of thing? because past a certain point it stops being funny and just makes you a dick

>>48791242
It's fun.

>>48791241
That's beautiful.


Another one I had, which was similar to >>48791250

was the pants of Almost Invisibility. It was said that if you unbuckled the pants, you turned invisible. However, what really happened, was that the pants turned invisible, but you thought you were invisible.

>>48791288
Few and far between, in order to avoid it becoming something like that. It's become somewhat of an in joke within the game, though, as I'll bring up this "rather shifty" looking man every few times they enter certain districts of larger cities. Every time they come across him, I always describe him with a certain look and disposition, but each time is done in a different order and using different words That mean the same thing. In the end, though, I always have him say "'Got some quaaaality yet affordable items for sale, lads." So they know who he is.

My point with him wasn't to fuck with and screw over the players, hence why I made it obvious who he was.
I just want them to come across this guy and be like "oh, it's him what crazy bullshit does he have this time?" And then have fun with it.

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I've got one I've wanted to try, not entirely a joke but not unambiguously useful either:
>Mace of merger
>A dull mace with a shiny ruby on its pommel
>When you strike something made from non-organic material with it, the object will merge a little into the mace and remain there
>Strike a rock, you now have a rock on the end of your mace.
>Strike someones sword or shield and it will stick to your mace like they were one and the same object all along
>Strike a wall, your mace is now part of that wall
>Merged objects accumulate and gain the same properties as the surface of the mace. The more stuff you strike, the more stuff you have one the mace
>When you press the red ruby like a button, all merged object are expelled from the mace and fall to the floor

Thoughts?

>>48791242

His sword is for ants.

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>>48791352
Reminds me of the time I played a fantasy-homebrew, and there was a guy named Shady Joe. We encountered him in every city, every town, every nation.

We started to get really confused, until we went to this mysterious island nation just off the Coast. It turns out that all of the Shady Joe's we saw were just infiltrators of a clone army that was about to invade the mainland.

We hit that fucking island with the equivalent of a thermonuclear bomb.

Pic related, it's Shady Joe. He'd even open with the 'WHATRE YA BUYIN', WHATRE YA SELLIN'

>>48791352
>>48791389
reminds me of CMOT Dibbler

>>48791381
Assuming D&D-type rules.
Mace of Merger sounds like a pretty cool item, bud. If I start clinging silver to it, does it then do silvered-weapon damage? Can it stick things to it without smashing the mace into it, and make my mace anoint goblins with alchemist fire? Does pressing the button count as a "use object" action?

>>48791381
If I hit a golem in the crotch with it, would I have a golem-mace, or would the golem have a dick?

I've never really made a lot of joke enchantments for my own campaigns, but I have homebrewed joke effects for serious magic items.

>Coffer of Fluid Funds
>Jewelry box that turns gems and small art objects into coins, much like the 4E ritual it was based on
>If the coffer would produce more than 1,000 coins in a single transaction, a fountain of gold-painted wooden coins would burst free of the jewelry box immediately, throwing the lid into the user's face and possibly damaging other nearby creatures

>>48791510
"Both" I'd assume

>>48791510
Not the OP, but you just lost your mace, and the golem can now fulfill sexual requests from its master

>>48791531
But what if I'm its master?

>>48791538
Congrats, you are about to be pegged by a golem and have a very sore ass

>>48791469
I'm not a D&D player so I'll try to answer fluff-wise.

>If I start clinging silver to it, does it then do silvered-weapon damage
Depends how. If you carefully smack it into silver coins so that the entire surface is covered, definitely. If you just hit a silver ingot, you now have a mace with a silver ingot sticking out of it. You can always try to hit your foe with just the right side.

>Can it stick things to it without smashing the mace into it
No. The force you hit the object with actually determines how deep the object will sink into the mace before merging.
Also, I understand alchemist fire is a liquid explosive? The mace only works on solids. You can hit the glass bottle without being broken by the mace, but it will probably break from the rebound it gets from the table it's standing on.
Maybe if you place the bottle on a cushion and then hit it....

>Does pressing the button count as a "use object" action
From my limited knowledge on the dynamic of D&D: yes.

>>48791510
whynotboth.jpg
Actually, it will most likely look like the golem has a penis, since you probably can't lift the golem-mace anymore. But the golem shouldn't get too exited, as soon as someone touches that red button, the mace will detach itself again.
Leaving the golem with blue cogs.

>Wand of Spell Reversal
A wand that aims from the handle, not the tip.
>Sword of Maiming
It sure is.
>Draught of Elixir of Potion
Refreshing, but fundamentally useless. Because it's water.

>>48791568
>implying that the anon didn't know that
Pretty sure he'd have crafted a special "sheath" for the handle so it's difficult to hit button while it's over the mace

>>48791531

Congratulations, you've solved the golem's frustration and completed the encounter.

>Axe of the Berserker
Yeah, no shit. He wants it back.
>Gloves of Far Striding
Hope you can do a handstand.
>Arrow of Summon Steed
Imagine getting shot. Now imagine a horse just bursting out of nowhere. It sees you, and starts sprinting at you.
How do you keep your shit together in a situation like that, huh?

>Blade of Latency
anything cut by it becomes invisible until the wound closes naturally, be it from scabbing over for a little knick, or healing completely in the event of nastier cuts. Good luck suturing gashes shut yourself though, because unless you have good spatial cognition, you're invisible even to yourself. Also, the invisibility only extends to the materials on your person at the time of being wounded, so stitches and hot items you load up in your pockets will still be invisible

>Vapal Blade
Obnoxious plumes of smoke pour from the wielder's orifices obscuring all view.
>Knife of Mercy
Looks darkedgy as all shit, but the blade retracts under pressure. Pops back out due to a flimsy spring in the handle.
>Mace of Fury
You don't feel any different when holding it, but people sure do get angry when you hit them with it.

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>>48791229
>My personal favorite is a sword that just screams really, really loudly when it's unsheathed.
>that's a bad thing

Bitch please

>>48791599
>Sword of Maiming
>Draught of Elixir of Potion
>>48791667
>Axe of the Berserker
>>48791768
>Mace of Fury

All across the land, merchants have started giving everyday items powerful-sounding names in order to fool stupid adventurers into buying them.

>>48791381
NAAAAA NANANA NA NANANA KATAMRI DAMACY

>>48791616
so if he doesn't use "protection" his dick will fall off? and here i thought sex ed was exaggerating.

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>>48791524
>this is a joke item
>implying it wouldn't be used by organized crime to laundry money

Bitch please!

>Ring of True Insight
Congratulations wearer! You're now aware that you were created by some human to adventure in an imaginary world! Nothing you do really matters, because the human they call the DM is the truest and closest thing to a God for you, and is the reason why all those creatures ambushed your party.
Roll 2d100 to see if your character commits immediate suicide. 10 or less is successful in keeping your character alive, though no one will believe them about any of this Truth unless they wear the ring. NPCs are auto suicide

>>48791873
>Ring of immediate suicide
This is useful.

>>48791873
and when I say "unless they wear it", I mean unless the person your character is trying to convince wears the ring themselves, they'll never believe them

>>48791812
Does what it says on the tin. Prove me wrong and get your money back, cross my heart.

>Hornet Dagger
Secretes as much poison as a single hornet sting. Recharges after an hour of high pitched buzzing.
>Blade of the Maiden
An intelligent blade that is convinced it's a young woman, despite having the voice of Gilbert Gottfried. Emits an audible moan when unsheathed, followed by breathless panting.
>Diplomat's Instrument
Gain a significant bonus to verbal diplomacy for as long as you are playing this instrument. It's a mouth organ.

>>48791827
Sex Ed was totally right! so long as you're a golem with a magic mace phased into your crotch with what is basically a magic eject button in the end of the handle

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>>48791918
Aren't we all though, In a way?

>>48791926
My penis has yet to fall off from someone licking the tip of it, so no not really.

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>>48791873
Watch the party commit TPK because of the ring.
Then watch the players make more and more character until you have a complete party who knows the truth. Incidentally, they continued making only bards and clerics: soon they start a cult to the so-called 'GM' in order to make the world a better place.

Congratulations, you wrote yourself in a corner: what is the next step in your master plan?

>>48791953
The same thing any all powerful being that is near omnipotent (minus knowing what the PCs do). Congratulations, you're now in the Matrix, but can only do as much as your character can do. The GM is the BBEG, and everyone who isn't you is Mr. Smith

>>48791947
Are they doing it right?

>>48792031
No teeth and I get to cum after 10 minutes, so yes.

>>48791873
Ring of CHIM

>>48791469
>>48791510
Two kinds of people

>>48792061
Except you gain no powers if you survive

>Staff of Teleportation
The staff disappears. We are almost certain it goes somewhere else though.
>Periapt of the Unloquacious one
Gifts the drinker a severe speech impediment.
There is an antidote; Archmage Athesslelan's Liquor of Lavicious Exultaion. Just hope that you don't get given Archmage Asseth-Roran's Liquor of Leviathan Excitation.
>Crossbow of Arrow Deflection
I mean, if you hold it right.

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>>48792045
Why does your partner have no teeth?

>>48792137
No, wait, now I get you.

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>>48792045
>No teeth
Well there's your problem

>>48791389
Was there ever any kind of in setting exolanation of that fucker? He had glowy plagas eyes but seemed to be there mostly to sell guns to anyone who wandered by

>>48792137
no denture adventure
They know how to give a proper blowjob that doesn't end in scraping my dick with their teeth

>>48792155
>>48792155
Maybe she's already been sucking off a Golem.

>Wand of Fly Bane
It's an iron stick with a patch of leather on it. Literally a flyswatter. +2 to hit flies and other insects. Not spiders though, arachnids should be killed with Parchment of News.
>Dagger of Hasty Return
A dagger that when dropped, always return to the user. It's literally a dagger with some rope attached to it.

"Please, adventurers. I need you to recover my Ring of Increased Stamina! I'll pay you handsomely!"
>it's his cock ring. It was clearly crafted by elves and looks expensive, but why would someone steal this? It still strongly smells of dicksweat

The Daemon Bolter of the Gates

>Every time the weapon is activated, the Windows 95 start-up theme is played
>Every time the trigger is pulled, the notification sound plays
>Whenever an enemy dies because of wounds caused by this weapon, the enemy screams out the 95 shut-down sounds

It's even better when you've got a soundboard/phone with all the sounds on it.

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>Crystal of invigoration
A magical Quartz gem that with bring life back to someone, providing they have only died recently.
However it's a suppository, and only provides life for as long as it remains inserted. This means that you are more or less functionally immortal, but you die when you have to take it out to take a shit, since you still have to eat and everything. Unless you're a monk.

>Pan's Flute of Summoning
It's a pan flute that calls forth all pans within a mile radius. You can direct them with the flute to attack, as the summoning gives them levitation

>>48791229
>sword comes with its own war cry

Sounds like a bonus desu.

A cursed item, the Fool Cap. It appears to be a wizard hat that grants +2 Int or something like that. In reality, the magic student who made it screwed up his enchantment of enhancement, so now it confers upon the wearer all the intelligence and knowledge of the material used to make it. They become as clever as cloth.

>Coin of Reproduction
a magical coin made from some unknown metal. If you hold it and another coin between your thumb and forefinger and rub them together, it creates a new coin for every second you keep rubbing them together, meaning you can basically become a fountain of money. you can't go overboard with it though, otherwise you make the current currency essentially worthless while drastically increasing the prices for everything in the world. Maybe that magic coin was from a long collapsed society that had the same issue with greediness, you bastard

>>48792619
I am fairly certain that was an American Dad episode.

>>48792853
It was the basis of inspiration, but I expanded on it since it wasn't fully explained. Plus, it gives you Wolverine's healing factor, so unless you get anally pickpocketed by the rogue, you're deathless

>>48791229
Sounds like it would give a situational bonus to intimidate checks.

>>48792163
>he doesn't like a little tooth
You have clearly been getting blown by an amateur.

>>48793724
A little teeth is no problem, but chewing on my dick like it's gum is another

>>48792848
On the other hand, if there was another kingdom or country waging war against you, and there currency was made of other metals, you could seriously bankrupt them so long as you had a coin from there

>>48792848
>>48793781
Or if you use a silver coin to make your own ingots to use for arrowheads and inlaid into weapons, I don't think it'd have as much of a socioeconomic impact as circulating increasing amounts of metal coins and devalue them

>>48791229
a nodachi with magical edge enchantment

it can do everything the average weeaboo claims what a katana can do, but needs a good amount of mana to do it. (it adds cutting damage proportional to mana input)

made it as a joke reaction to the armchair historian at the table , so he can see people literally slicing armor and non-protective enchanted weapons with a shitty sword.
in the end , weapons with long blades such as two-handers and nagimakas became the most effective melee weapon of non-formation combat for the current campaign.

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>>48791250
I had that same ring in a game once.

I also recently had players hear from a bard about a castle with a legendary Armor of Invincibility, but when they got there, it was the Armoire of Invincibility. Stole that from the old 8-Bit Theater comic, which was what first got me into role playing like a hundred years ago.

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>>48791389
In Barbarians of Lemuria, I had a Bard who the players encountered in every tavern and every town, who kept telling them the same stories trying to feed them adventure hooks, which they always refused to bite on. He kept denying that he was the same Bard from other places and saying he had no idea what they were talking about. They even invited one of him along on an adventure once, and he drowned, then appeared again in the next town.

Finally near the end of the campaign, they went through some elaborate plan to poison a court jester they really hated. The guy who killed him was so happy he'd gotten rid of the annoying little fuck, and I remember looking around the table and seeing the Bard token standing over by the fountain dancing for the king, and I was like,
"Uh oh, Bard is evolving!"
And I changed his token to the Jester.

Players seemed to like that.

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>>48791229

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>>48791229
The party rogue decided to steal from the arch bishop of a countries capital city and walked out with a cursed set of gloves.

Each time he stole something, or commited an affront to the god of that church the gloves gained 5 lbs of weight, the weight would not lift itself until he went to a church of the god in question and confessed his crimes/ made donations proportionate to the crimes committed.

> Long story short the rogue was stubborn and got used to running around and fighting with an extra 30 plus pounds on him, as a result he kept getting stronger and took a few levels in barbarian. Needless to say the arch bishop was pissed when he found out his clever deception had just made the rogue a better and more deadly thief.

>>48791947
is that because no-one has gotten close enough?

>>48791953
crashing this plane, with no survivors.

>>48791912
>Hornet Dagger
soo infinite (albiet slow) source of poison?
sounds good to me

>>48794375
Plus, thirty pound gloves make for one hell of a mean unarmed attack.

>>48792229
The leather would have to have holes drilled into it like modern flyswatter. The modern flyswatter disturbs the air less, so flies can't sense it about to impact them.

>>48791953
The players want to roleplay an in-game cult to GM, so let them. Send them on retarded tasks because it'll is "the will of GM."

>>48792534
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EY0DfFlzcBk

>>48791912
>despite having the voice of Gilbert Gottfried
Change it into actual young woman's voice and I wouldn't mind having this blade.

>>48792619
Use Prestidigitation spell to clean the shit inside you.

>>48798564
You'd lose the whole point of the thing then.

>>48798685
Oh, true, I misread "convinced" as "convincing", so it makes more sense now.
In that case, I throw the shit away, I don't want to hear a man panting or something.
or sell it to some gay, whatever.

>>48791873
I played in a game where th DM did exactly that. We all died essentially for his amusement and subsequently rioted. Damn near destroyed the game.

>>48798816
People can't always handle the truth, shit will go down

>>48795704
Nah, I've had quite a bit of sex with a little oral thrown in my way, but usually don't get head for very long because it's more fun to fuck

>>48791250
I did this. I later had an encounter with two overleveled banshees keeping the entrance to a dungeon, who demanded equipment sacrifices to pass.
The intended purpose of the ring was making the banshees fight each other for "stealing the ring" off one another. But my players are idiots and ended up entering a crypt of high level undead near naked.

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>>48792738
>all the intelligence and knowledge of the material used to make it. They become as clever as cloth.

>>48798887
It's more that it was just a trap. We find something that dispels illusions, we find a room that seems to have an illusion in it, we use the item and all instantly died.

That's it, game over. No save, just dead. Then he's shocked when we're mad.

Potion of Bull's Grace:
While the effect lasts it bestows a -4 penalty to Dexterity, but each round the imbiber can make a sunder attempt against any unattended object as a free action.

>>48796482
the poison is only released when stabbing, you can't farm it

>>48795721

thats a big plan

>>48799458
Then that is just shittiness

>>48791229
Mace of Excrement.

Striking the enemy fills their bowels and loosens their sphincter. They begin to uncontrollably shit themselves, becoming stunned and taking 1D4 necrotic damage.

>Come face to face with a mob of giant spiders.
>me, a ranger, starts picking shots at the freaks from the back.
>Paladin has the mace, strikes a spider in the face.
>Whole table comes to a pause. What happens next?
>What's the biology of a spider where poop is concerned? Do they even HAVE that kind of a digestive system? Would it just start uncontrollably blasting webbing from its back side?
>DM reaches a decision: Spider begins to fill with shit, swelling like a putrid water balloon.
>Spider explodes into chunks of chitin, slime and shit. Everyone in a 10 square radius takes 1D4 necrotic damage and is stunned..
>Doesn't hit me, but fail on a constitution check and vomit form the scene before me.

>>48801048
Beautiful

>>48801048
Seems a little OP. If that's how it works against monsters without a humanoid digestive system then it explodes? you could break quite a few encounters like that.

>Golems
>Ghosts

......The fuck would happen if you hit a Tarrasque?

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>>48801048
I think you just got magical realmed.

>>48791229
If you were a person in generic fantasy land and someone unsheathed a blade that screamed you would be shitting your pants in fear. That shit sounds fucking horrifying.

>>48791381
This sounds incredibly useful to a clever player and with a good DM

>>48801196
>......The fuck would happen if you hit a Tarrasque?

>hits tarrasque with mace of excrement
>tarrask takes a pause to the bathroom
>a couple millenia pass
>a beast emerges from putrid mountain, leaving a trail of death, destruction and methane

>>48792534
We had something like this in a game way back.
It was a shoulder mounted weapon, whenever the trigger was pulled, it played the Windows "TADA!" sound.

It shot explosions.

>>48792534
I'd call that the bluescreen gun
but that's just me copying xcom2's bluescreen rounds.

>>48791229
>a sword that just screams really, really loudly when it's unsheathed
That could actually be more unnerving than funny if you think about it. Can you imagine going to fight a guy and his sword suddenly starts screaming bloody murder as he draws it? My first thoughts would be that the weapon is possessed. Well actually my first thoughts would be to get the fuck out of dodge, but the possession thing is a close second.

>>48791813
beat me to it

>>48794211
>cave of wonder

>>48801908
Does it count as a magical realm if the party finds it hilarious?

>>48791953
I would love to play this game:

>oh great dm of the sky and heavens send me a majestic badger to protect me in my quest.
constantly trying to get miracles even while level 1 as they now know they are the centre of the universe; slowly but surely the requests get bigger and better as time and the incessant complaining to the Dm to show himself to the peasants in all his glory
Does the ring allow the pcs to talk with the actual group/dm while wearing the ring after they pass the test?

>>48792534
That is a daemonic or holy weapon depends on the user.

>>48803893
Yes, but I think the answers to their questions would more than likely depress them. How would you feel knowing that some of the most important moments in your life were decided on the rolling of dice? That you may have been created solely to be a joke and serve no purpose to the grand scheme of things, that your life as you know it lasts for a few mere hours stretched across days?

>>48798782
>a man panting or something
You don't know who Gilbert Gottfried is, do you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkLqAlIETkA

>>48791229
My GM had my human fighter getting a very powerful shield.

...and the more it took hits, the more my body would become like a goblin's.

Ever had a PC using himself to protect his shield? That's me.

>Spear of wonder
Every successful attack caused appropriate damage and then 1d6 rounds later an effect from the 10,000 magical effects table.

I'm really fond of unusual magic items with useful properties alongside weird ones.

In our current campaign, we got a hold of a Repeating Crossbow. If it hits a target, then so long as that target is in line of sight and stays in an approximate 5ft area of it being hit (through being still, or being huge), and the shooter does as well, subsequent attacks with the crossbow will automatically hit.

It also repeats everything the wielder says in a loud, articulate, announcing voice. That's why the rogues don't use it, and the sorceror does.

>>48803893
>>48804084
And to elaborate further, when a successful PC talks to the GM or the player characters, time around that person stands still, but they are rooted to the spot. A thief couldn't roam around stealing while talking to us, a warrior couldn't slice off the neck of that goblin that peeked his head out to the commotion of putting on and surviving the ring. If they insisted on getting some sort of blessing for "passing the test" I would make sure to make it clear that they have no right to ask for favors, like forcing them to walk behind a partymember and withdraw a blade and hold it to their frozen comrade's throat. Show that even when they alone cannot move while talking to "God", "God" is ultimately in control during the grand scheme of things. I would tell them that I am the reason the BBEG exists, the suffering that currently plagues the world is mine as well. Some of those greatly outweigh the good I may have done, and it all still comes down solely to amusement.

>>48792619
That JO crystal should have to be charged up with your bros between uses.

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Could a magical staff with the eye of some scheming, cunning greater deity, and thus able to cast ALL existing spells (and even some nonexisting ones) be considered a joke item if given to some incompetent, batshit crazy elven bard who likes to pretend she's a real archmage and actually believes almost every successful effect she casts happens because the staff is obeying her?

Things such as giving butterfly wings to a pirate ship, growing a forest inside an inn, turning thieves into plum puddings and giant hamsters, turning kobolds into chocolate, turning sea dragons into sardine, etc.

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>>48804311
That reminds me of when a version of me appeared in my homebrew campaign last year.

My players' characters stumbled into an extradimensional rift and found themselves in a sort of "doors of dimensions" complex that was being used as the homebase for some sort of macrocosmic creator god. After some exploration - which included desert islands, stormy bays, mountain lakes, flooded libraries, frozen rivers and so on - they got to a strange little house (mine), and found a man there, writing things in a beaten-up old book held together with tape (my campaign book).

That version of me immediately freaked out at seeing the PCs, since their presence meant that he himself was in a campaign, a creation of another entity - me. He calmed down, set them up with a boss rush as a sort of prize for getting that far, then kicked them out with loot and memory loss of the whole event.

I'm not likely to see the PCs myself, I think.

A quill that wrote everything that the party did on pieces of paper attached to the inside of my shield. I would then sell them as part of an ongoing adventure series to the public

>>48804453
I'm not a fan of self insertion like that, and the whole ordeal as a PC would leave a bad taste in my mouth. It serves no greater purpose than "here's some loot, oh and you forget everything that just happened. Buh-bye!"
At least if they survived the suicide save-roll, it changes the play for THAT player the rest of the game, and ultimately the only way you know what the enchantment does is if someone in the group puts it on (and even then it doesn't exist between the players whose character DIDN'T wear the ring), and is more like an in world easteregg that doesn't ultimately detract from the main quest. Granted, that's just my take on the matter, and I can't speak for your players. They could've loved it, they could've hated it. They could've been unimpressed for all I know.

>>48800260
It can be farmed for poison the same way snakes are - by stabbing it through the lid of a container.

Player wound up getting an invincible cat that would get coated in grease whenever a spell was cast on it.

It was fucking hilarious.

>>48805132
>cast minor spell on it
>ignite the grease with fire
>command to attack enemies
>???
>profit

>>48805387
When has a cat ever listened to orders ever?

>>48805401
>command it to avoid the enemies

>>48805401
True enough, but if you can command animals like a Druid, you'll have no problem.

>Necklace of Obedience
It's a slave collar, you dick
>Elixir of sleep
It's some damn good hooch
>Ring of Bolog Na
Makes everything you eat or drink taste of lard-filled sausage
>Necklace of shrinking
Only the necklace shrinks, and it will never break. Hope you have fast and nimble fingers
>Shuriken of Slipping
It's a banana peel
>Discounted Bag of Holding
1/4 the cost of a regular bag of holding, but is just a bag. Not even an enchanted one at that. You got scammed, dumbass

>>48803119
Nah it would be like a Danny DeVito scream, ya'know?

>Apple of Ill Knowledge
Eat it, and you will learn something very appalling— you just bit a worm in half
>Totally Just a Normal Ring
No, the flying screaming skull that is also on fire is coincidence. Dunno why it disappears when you take that ring off though. No one else seems to pay it much mind anyways
>Richard's Enchanted Paintbrush
You can only paint dicks with it. They are incredibly well detailed ones too.
> Underpants of Prestidigitation
You'll never have to go to the toilet again! Just please don't ask where it all goes. You really wouldn't want to know

>Horn of Eternal Drink
You only need to fill it once, and it'll never leave you thirsty. Too bad it doesn't have a lid, nor will one fit it. It's really stubborn that way... Shit, how're you gonna adventure without spilling something constantly? And why won't anyone buy the damned thing from you?!

>>48803879
No. The definition of magical realm is a situation that the GM puts the players in, reflecting one of his fetishes that the players are uncomfortable with.

>>48792157
I don't think so, but if I recall correctly the plagas guys wouldn't fuck with him in areas where they could get to him. They would leave him alone. So it's theorized that he's infested, but has control like the higher level plagas hosts do.

>>48791229
Gloves of Sleight of Hand that tend to grab objects at random when the wearer isn't paying attention. Usually happening in the most obvious manner.

>>48792619
This would be an excellent item for one of my players who is a monk succubus masquerading as a human

>>48791381
So It fucks up hard any armored opponent? What is the force required for It to work? Do I have to keep It in a bag at all times when not used? What is the mass limit deciding what gets merged into what?

To me, the whole thing is less than a weapon and more of a plot device.

>>48804987
Ehh, my players loved it. It wasn't entirely out of the blue, and they got to have a weird meta-conversation with not-me that left them rolling.

It was also pretty much the very last event in the game, since the rift was caused by the dimensional instability left behind by the Really Very Last Boss For Real This Time.

Haven't done much in the world building side of gaming yet there's always handing out sweaty armor and shields.

>>48791250
Necklace of levitation is my favorite, you put it on and it floats up into the sky.

>>48807578
No it wouldn't

You would still need the strength to hold the mace+whatever you stick to it

If you don't have the strength to rip of someone's armor, it does shit to their armor

>>48791469
If the coins don't work your government is using fake silver.

Imagine how an adventurer would feel upon learning that

>>48791667
>Arrow of Summon Steed
uma ga waga teki wo kurau

>>48807578
>So It fucks up hard any armored opponent?
Not really. You don't damage the armor, you just stick your mace to the armor. You could use the mace as tactical leverage during the fight, which you should, but I don't think its easy or without risk.

>What is the force required for It to work?
If you put enough force behind it to hurt an unprotected head, it will work.

>What is the force required for It to work?
No you can just hold it or put it on a belt. If it hits non-organic material with enough force in the process, it will merge however.

>What is the mass limit deciding what gets merged into what?
I'm not sure you follow me or I follow you. When you hit a solid, it will sink into your mace a little and then remain stationary there. It just becomes one object, they merge into each other. It's just a matter of perspective: if you can still lift the mace after it merged with a rock, you have a mace with a rock sticking out of it/ If you can't lift the mace after it merged with a rock, you have a rock with a mace sticking out of it.

>To me, the whole thing is less than a weapon and more of a plot device.
Well it's not a straight-up damage dealing weapon and you could use it for various other situations, but it's not intended to move the plot along.

>>48809934
>slam mace of merger into opponent's pauldron
>Use it to judo throw that prick
>have axe-wielding partymember take their head off while they're on the ground