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You subsapient baboon.
You literal human.
How dare you speak, you swarthy city monkey. How dare you open your big lipped, grain encrusted, pipe-weed smelling mouth?
You are mortal trash, John St. Geological Feature Town McOccupation. Universally despised, derided and mocked. Your nationality and ear shape offers no hope to the world that human lands can ever prosper. Crawl back in to the Southern jungle you came out of, you literal troglodyte.
I hope you decide to sail your grandfathers skip to the Elflands and rape some sheep, as is in the human's nature. It would still be the whitest pussy you ever had. Give Illandil and Sylvanthas a chance for some target practice, your sole use to the world. Humans' obsession with a few windswept islands in the ocean is hilarious but sad. Coincidentally its the only worthwhile contribution a human has made to the medical field. The MUH MANIFEST DESTINY sentiment in the average human is both an early warning sign of autism in children, and early on set Alzheimer's in adults.
Take your mortal hairy fingers off your keyboard, and never talk about elvish affairs again you antiquated construction equipment. No amount of cheekbone surgery or ear trimming will make you an elf. It's about as delusional of an idea as your daydreams of Numenorian heritage. Your crude makeup isn't fooling anyone.
You human.
You make Mordor look like a beacon of civilization.
You are the Baltimore of Middle Earth
Go fertilize Pelinor Fields with you and your family's corpses, its the best you can hope for in life. For the first time in your life human, you will have a job. Making food for a race of beings of infinitely higher worth than you. Gondorian cattle. Coincidentally, it would be the first time a human "man" provided for a family.
Die, mortal. No one would miss you. Except for the Dwarves, who now would have no one to make them look good.
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>>48708182
>keeps using mortal
Elves live a long time but it's not like they live forever or anything.
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>>48708182
Well, at least I can identify my father, unlike you.
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>>48708182
control-f
"the point"
0 results
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>>48708182
>You are the Baltimore of Middle Earth
This is the opposite of a problem.
Or are you just angling for an ass beating?
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>>48708182
So that's a no on supersizing your order?
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>>48708182
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
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>>48708182
This is the part where my PC point-blank shoots the guy in the throat and asks him the definition of mortal as he bleeds out.
Who the fuck talks shit to the third most racist pirate lord this side of the boiling sea?
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>>48708542
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>>48708182
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>>48708664
Aye. He's a lawless asshole and actively murders elves he comes across when he can.
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>>48708182
*tips*
By the way, that piece of sharp metal in your chest must hurt. I think you were ready for it, though... you didn't expect to vomit so much shit out and not get stabbed, right?
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>>48708182
Nice try, but you're still getting raped. Last chance to lube me with your mouth before I go in dry.
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>>48709289
Better not, the city watch tends to throw steel first and deny everything later. Or you might end up riding in the closed carriage down Cobblestone Way. I doubt they would heed your exclamation of "don't Shocking Grasp me, brethren"
Thread posts: 14
Thread images: 4
Thread images: 4