>Be Elven royalty >Be next in line for the throne >Have

>>48628576
>Have to wait several centuries before it's your turn to rule
>live for many millenia
>its not that long in the grand scheme of things
>wait patiently

>>48628600
Thing about elves, they still experience time as slowly as everyone else. 300 years is still a long fucking time for anyone without subjective time dilation.

>>48628576
>Thousand year life span
>Get to enjoy the perks of nobility without any real work for centuries
They wait

Unless you are dark elves in which case they kill each other over pretty much anything.

>>48628661
>as slow as everyone else
Except this is just flat out wrong.

As we grow older, and live longer lives, we percieve time to pass faster and faster.

Why this is the case isn't known exactly, but people mostly pin it down to time passed relative to your age (1 year at 10 is 10% of your life, 1 year at 50 is 2%), and that you gauge time by memories, as your experience grows, things get repetetive, and less memorable events happen. Less things are remembered, and so time is percieved as faster.

So we already know this has a drastic influence on peoples perception of time in stretches of time (10-20 years), but for some reason if they live for THOUSANDS of years, this wouldn't be the case?

>>48628809
>level limits for demihumans are stupid

>>48628809
That's actually really, really depressing.

>>48628576
That's what the lotus is for, OP.
Elves spend most of their long lives reclining on silk pillows smoking sacred herbs. They travel space and time in euphoric slumbers, traveling to other worlds in their dreams where they become kings and queens, heroes and figures of destiny. Every elf rules a thousand kingdoms in a thousand lifetimes, and in doing so they master the skills required to command the powers of sorcery.

>>48628887
It doesn't need to be. You "just" need to go out and experience new things. If every day is different and you learn and see new things constantly, time wouldn't slow down.

How long you could keep on doing this before you either run out of money, energy or simply stop being able to find new experiences, is hard to tell, but with the near infinite lifespan of an elf it's not really an issue how many years went between two relevant memories

>>48628809
But elf brains are different from human brains because human brains degrade over time and cannot generate new cells. So Elf brain cells must be different enough that each day is remembered, otherwise elf society becomes (elf)society from the song "Hello darkness my old friend" where nobody even tries to truly interact.

>>48628809
Nah

You might get the impression that time passes slowly from the way your memory works, but a lot of time is still a lot of time.

Someone who lived 80 years feels like a lot more time passed than someone who lived 20.
Same for someone who lived a thousand godamn years.

>>48629220
Someone who lived for 20 years, 5 years will feel like a shitload of time.

For someone that lived for 80 years, the past 5 years won't feel that long at all.

Everyone knows that the actual time passed is the same, but it doesn't FEEL that way and that's what matters in OPs topic.

>>48629175
If their brains are wired differently, how can one claim "they still experience time as slowly as everyone else"? Then everything is up in the air.

>>48629270
It doesn't matter if it feels like it's a bit less.
Because it is A LOT MORE

>>48628576
Elves are more accepting of thrir lot in life unlike humans.

Just look at elf slaves.

>>48629270
Well obviously since their brains can repair and hold a lot more memories than a human's we have to assume they can remember a lot more in years 490-500 than some guy can in years 40-50.

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An elf puts a slice of toast in a toaster, and continues to stare at it as it toasts.

Does it seem to take forever to them?

>>48628809
Elves aren't humans.

>>48629454
An elf is too busy being narcissistic to care about looking at his toast.

>>48628576
Even worse for LotR elves, they never grow old and die ever. Elf Prince will be an elf prince until the day the earth crashes into the sun.

>>48631104
Depends on whether or not they are at war though

>>48629454
For a few seconds, but then they remember that time in 84th grade when they spilled water all over their pantaloons and everyone laughed.

>>48628576

Why bother with an Elven kingdom?

Marry human royalty, and your son will take power within no time. Then the next generation will see you with a number of grandsons who you can lend your 'expertise' to.

If at any time you get bored with waiting to take over your own kingdom, just encourage a grandson to fight the elves because their elven royal lineage gives them a valid claim, and you would eagerly run a puppet kingdom for them and then overwhelm the human kingdoms once said grandsons perish.

You aren't thinking dastardly enough, OP.

>>48628576
First, depends on the setting.

But generally?
No, because Elves aren't ambitious like humans. So long as the king isn't a complete fuckup, and you're comfortable, you'll probably be more interested in publicly beating the king in an archery contest or learn to weave baskets that fold than you will advancing in social status when you're already high.

>>48631236
>supporting interspecies marriages
That's immoral and wrong.

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>>48628576
>Elves live for centuries
>Worse still, they're immortal
And that's what makes them impossible to write. It's one of those "Tolkien did it so now everyone must do it" things. Tolkien's elves were pretty much übermenschen, so far above even the Numenorians that they were close to unapproachable. They were living gods.

In any other setting, where they're a "normal" race, living for multiple centuries would horribly fuck up their perception of time. Famines would come and go in a flesh, empires rise and fall as they're studying a new subject etc.

Make them long-lived if you want, but 200 years should be the absolute maximum to still make them relatable.

>>48631435
>No, because Elves aren't ambitious like humans.
And that brings me to another subject: how generic humans are. All other races have confirmed and sensible strengths and weaknesses, but humans are bland and boring. They rely on buzzwords like "ambitious" or "versatile" or "creative".

>>48631435
>depends on rhe setting

You mean depends on the elf.
Really, there's no need to drag your stupid forced meme with you everywhere you go.

>>48633869
Why should the elves be relatable?
Elves should not be a playable race in the first place.
That is not their role.

>>48628576
>Be immortal eldar/noldor etc
>Be royal heir
>Hire assasins to kill the assasins after pops and ma. Cause you won't stop partying only to rule for the next 15 millennia until some brat of yours matures

I mean lets be realistic, what immortal royal scion would want to end the high life only to acquire responsibility when they have some perfectly fine patsi-..parents doing the work for them? And since they are immortal too they can delay indefinitely!

Lets be honest, were I in that situation i would fret every time pa and ma caught a cold and would start searching for the best damn party of healer/priest/exorcist/witch hunter etc in the 19 closest planes! I have bastards to make with the nearest fertile dragoness/human female/amazon/orc/demon/naga/murloc/balrog/angel etc as well as parties to throw fuck obligations.

Basically most elven royalty would be unaging std prof Charie sheens..

>>48628576
Why are all elfs such sluts which need punishment?

>>48637219
They aren't. It's a meme that needs to die.

>>48637275
Elves are a meme that need to die.

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In my setting, elven royalty often get human heroes to do dangerous quests for them, and reward them with elven princesses.

They consider this safe, because the human will die in a couple of decades. The princess can then marry a proper elf, having sown her wild oats. Any half-elves that resulted will have such short lifespans that they'll die before ever getting close to the succession.

Hence the half-elf NPC who's pissed at his mother for letting his father die ("It was just his time, sweetie, humans don't live long" "He had PNEUMONIA you could have HEALED HIM") and is trying to get the PCs to help him murder his way up through the ranks until he gets his fucking crown.

>>48631236
>with a number of grandsons who you can lend your 'expertise' to.
Did anyone else think this line was about kiddy diddling?

>>48637303
Every magical realm must be destroyed.

>>48637303
>Any half-elves that resulted will have such short lifespans that they'll die before ever getting close to the succession
No, this is completely retarded. That royal half-blood will be more than eager to kill his full-blood brothers, because he has less time on earth to have a chance of being a king. This also completely defeats the purpose of virginity and its importance for royal families.

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My elves live in the demon lands because of old wars.
No one assassinates the lord of hell

>>48633869
>how generic humans are.
I don't get why people always puzzle over this one.
The writer, being human, is always far more likely to make them the basline so it's easier to put differences in other species into context.
It's not rocket science.

>>48637373

>That royal half-blood will be more than eager to kill his full-blood brothers, because he has less time on earth to have a chance of being a king.

Yes, that is the plot. In the past it hasn't been as much of a problem; the half-elven princes were raised among full-blooded fey, who might be willing to use the mongrels in a scheme or two but would never actually put one on the throne. The half-blood doesn't become a real threat until he gains the PCs as allies. As in many fun plots, the PCs come into a deadlocked situation and disrupt it.

>This also completely defeats the purpose of virginity and its importance for royal families.

1. The "virgin" thing was often a polite fiction, which has been greatly exaggerated by time.

2. When heredity is magically verifiable, it loses any significance it ever had.

>>48637373
Its every half-elfs god given right to murder his fool blooded pompous brothers.

>>48628978
I like this.

>>48637486
>not killing disgusting half-breeds
It's like you don't even /pol/.

>>48637502
The opening of Elric of Melnibone is one hell of a drug.

>>48637575
>>48628978
Fuck it, I wanted to read that shit a since forever. Ordered.

>>48637604
First book is good, last book is great, the ones in between are hit and miss, but all perfectly readable.

It's also nice to read through a work that has such a large hand in establishing so many modern fantasy staples.

>>48637471
>When heredity is magically verifiable, it loses any significance it ever had.
Except for the romantic, sentimental, and religious weight it typically carries in most cultures and mindsets. Young virgin females are desirable on a primal level. Plus it's weird to assume some mage in the setting at some point made a spell for something as mundane yet likely incredibly complex as checking heredity with 100% accuracy and also that this mage can't be bought by whoever wants to get rid or deceptively keep of their spouse. Besides's not like people in our day in age have completely lost all idealism for virginity because we can check our kids heredity with blood tests. It's a huge slap in your wifes face to ask for the kids to be checked.

>>48633869

Are you also frustrated how Earth gravity is the base line? and other worlds are compared to it?

Are you also frustrated how we record distance in light vs a Terran year?

It's almost like... we have a baseline that's familiar to us... and compare other things to it?

woah

>>48637778

>Young virgin females are desirable on a primal level.

Young females, yes. Virgin, no.

Some people, like you, care about virginity. Those who do seem to care about it on a deep, irrational level, and can't fathom not caring about it.

Those who care less find people like you pretty creepy.

>the romantic, sentimental, and religious weight it typically carries in most cultures and mindsets

It's really not nearly as universal as people like you seem to think. From the outside, it seems like a weird and unhealthy obsession that a few people in every culture have. Like paranoia, or being a germophobe.

>>48637778
You do realize that virginity isn't universally desired by all cultures right?

And that during the medieval period it was often nigh impossible to determine if someone was a virgin because a) not everyone is born with a hymen and it can regrow after being broken and b) it's all too easily broken by doing mundane activities such as horse riding or even running.

Like most pop culture ideas about the middle ages it's just another Enlightenment meme ala absolute kingship, brutal tortures and everybody being covered in shit.

>>48628576
There's ten thousand of your shitposting waifuspam threads for every one.

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>>48638288
You can't ever run away from /tg/'s waifu, shitposter-kun.

>>48638591

Is Ribbon the waifu?
I thought Cestree was the one /tg/ wanted to bang, and Ribbon was the one /tg/ identified with.

>>48638878
Ribbon's the cuter of the two.

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>>48628576
Elves are not as obsessed with power as humans.

>>48638591
I've been here far longer than the shitty comic, longer than the shitty spammer, and I'll be here long after they're both gone.

>>48640533
That's kind of sad, to be honest.

>>48641653

Yeah, when did the comics first appear?
Looking at 1d4chan.
Date stamp on /TG/ Explained #1 says it was first uploaded September 15th, 2009, but they wouldn't have started an article about it right away so it must have been on the boards well before that.

>>48640533
Have you been on /tg/ far longer than eight years?

>>48638878
>not wanting to bang Ribbon

>>48637306
don't worry Anon, the party van is on its way

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>>48643404
Either one's a solid pick.

>>48628576

Not very. You don't get to be King in elven society without being clever and subtle.

Assassination ATTEMPTS, however, are probably quite numerous. Doubt many of them get very far though.

>>48644863

Depends on the elf. Ambassador Ruthari's held his position for nearly a millenia ever since he started holding "Succession" balls every Jubilee.

Attendance is going to be low for the next one however, quite a few nobles found it distasteful to fake public suicide, even if the night quite literally turned into an all-night symposium on discreet methods of murder.

They were rather appalled when he came down in the morning to join us for breakfast. If I recall correctly the Azurnill family has outright declared they will not attend again: Rumor has it they intended to poison his morning tea, but called it off when he "offed himself" during dinner.

>>48638076
>You do realize that virginity isn't universally desired by all cultures right?
but thats a lie, goddamn feminist athropologist, stop falsificating your data to fit your narrative.

>>48637429
Something being understandable doesn't make it any less bothersome.
I understand that a child is impatient and will scream when not getting what they want. That does nothing to alleviate me desire to staple his fucking mouth shut.
I know why humans are generic, but that doesn't excuse it.

>>48649055
>stop falsificating your data
>a lie that virginity isn't revered by all cultures

What data do you have that the majority of human (50.1%) cultures, past and present, valued virginity as much as the ones you're thinking of?

Not him but I'm wondering how you can talk about false data when you have yet to provide proof for anything you've claimed.

>>48629175
Human brains do grow new cells though. They just don't replace as fast as they die off.

>>48637471
So theoretically, if medieval societies had ways of verifying who the father was, virginity wouldn't have been such a fuss in nobility?

>>48649055
I'd rather listen to an anthropologist/archaeologist/historian than a paranoid /pol/lack.

>>48649360
>Excuse

Humans are the baseline for a good reason, we are human, it does not need 'excusing'. To have a problem with that or find it bothersome is absurd.