>Cursed decanter of endless water that taste so good you can't

>>48359530

>cursed GM of retarded magical items

This GM seems to inexplicably drive away players.

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>>48359555

>>48359555
>cursed first reply is best reply

This has /thread

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>>48359530
Goes well with my Vessel of 12 Steps, which gives your character a drinking problem.

>>48359530
or you could introduce the water to the empire water supply and start a war over who gets to keep the water

you can throw it into a plane of elemental fire

you can tip it upside down and just let it spill out forever and have it evoporate into the water cycle, at which point it might lose it's magical properties or you have a doomsday weapon as the water is slowly introduced into the eco-system of the world and kills every one off over the course of thousands of years

>>48359555
>theoretical gimmick item
>"HURR DURR RETARD GM PLAYER UNFREINDLY
Yeah, sure, HE'S the retard.

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>>48359555

Assuming a player starts drinking from this thing while in the presence of other adventurers, will he be saved?

>>48359626
>doomsday weapon as the water is slowly introduced into the eco-system of the world and kills every one off over the course of thousands of years
Except this would never happen because the volume of water would be infinitesimal

>>48359752
>endless water
>volume of water would be infinitesimal

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>>48359555

>>48359813
4 gallons per minute if held upside down would produce the volume of water in maryland's Estuary in about 34.2 million years, which is less than a tenth of a hundredth of a percent of water on the planet.

>>48360101
>>48360094
Anon did say "slowly," didn't he? It's still quicker than the heat death of the universe.

>>48360001
There we go. That's what I came into this thread for.

Reminds me of that greentext about aboleths enslaving the entire underdark to continuously create decanters of endless water (which were all set to the highest setting and left on the bottom of the ocean). Over the course of 5 years he entire world is flooded.

>>48359530
I do what I naturally do to every resealable container I come across.

I piss in it and leave it for the next chump to come along. Because fuck everyone.

>>48360136
He said thousands of years, which is patently incorrect.

The sun of the particular solar system the world is a part of would sooner die than the effect of the water be noticed.

>>48360094
Get a big enough body of water and evaporation will outpace production. I.e. there is a maximum size.

>>48359626
>you can tip it upside down and just let it spill out forever and have it evoporate into the water cycle, at which point it might lose it's magical properties or you have a doomsday weapon as the water is slowly introduced into the eco-system of the world and kills every one off over the course of thousands of years


I read Cat's Cradle too

If you could dilute it so that it only tastes really good instead of too good, you could bottle and sell it as a fancy alternative to wines and juices.

So does the water taste good, or the decanter? The way I see it I could just keep the decanter corked and just keep licking and sucking the decanter for all the flavour and none of the drowning.

>>48360321
>he fellates the decanter so hard it becomes lodged in his throat and he suffocates

>>48360094
But even the barest fraction of a drop will addict anyone that tastes it and they will drown themselves regular water trying to get another drop.

>>48360094
just to do the cheesecake bay would take roughly 85 years, still assuming the 4 gallons per minute. i doubt it would seriously take 34 million years to fill up the volume of water in maryland

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>>48360418
>cheesecake bay
>mfw auto correct put it down instead of Chesapeake

though a bay full of cheesecake would be a wonderful attraction

>>48359530
Let's see... How can i completely break the intended lolrandum purpose of this shitty item...

This object contains infinite mass, in a finite volume, but somehow hasn't collapsed into a black hole, weird magic inside the bottle. Probably just threaten the world with smashing it and free the singularity, thereby killing absolutely everything on whatever planet I am on.

OR

This object sucks in water from somewhere, which means there has to be some sort of portal. Instant Salt Mines 1d4chan.

>>48359530

>bag of holding
>Its interior is so large you can't find anything you put in it

>>48360500
>This object contains infinite mass, in a finite volume, but somehow hasn't collapsed into a black hole, weird magic inside the bottle. Probably just threaten the world with smashing it and free the singularity, thereby killing absolutely everything on whatever planet I am on.

Smashing the bottle breaks the magic, and a minimal amount of water comes dripping out.

>This object sucks in water from somewhere, which means there has to be some sort of portal. Instant Salt Mines 1d4chan.

The water is simply generated by magic.

You've never heard of the phrase 'killing the goose that lays golden eggs' have you?

>>48360238
In cat's cradle it pretty much happens instantly when that dude's body hit the water. Or I missed something in the Wikipedia article.

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>>48360545
>would-be thief falls in the bag
>lives off of the stuff you cram in there

>>48360238
never read it, but it seemed the logical extreme point

>>48360418
18 trillion gallons dude. That's how much is in the Chesapeake bay.
4x60 minutesx24 hours=1440 gallons/day
365.25x1,440=525,960
18 trillion /525,960=34,223,134 Years.

>>48360554
>killing the goose that lays the golden eggs
I was referring to the salt mines operation, and somehow you give me an idiom about failing to make profit? Are you sure you yourself have heard of this phrase?

Anyway, if these two options don't work,
is the water 100% H20?
can i put stuff into the bottle?

>>48360630
>4x60 minutesx24 hours=1440 gallons/day

no, 4x60x24=5760 gallon/day

5760x365.25=2103810 gallons/year

18 trillion/2103810= 85 years roughly

>>48360630
>4x60 minutesx24 hours=1440
>4x60 minutesx24 hours=1440
>4x60 minutesx24 hours=1440
>4x60 minutesx24 hours=1440

TOP MATH

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>>48359555

>>48360757
You sure you're putting 18,000,000,000,000 into your calculator? Because I'm getting 8,555,905 when I put it in.

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>>48359530
>open a beverage company
>put a few drops of the "cursed" water in every bottle you sell

>>48360802
Lohl calculator what are you retarded
Not other dude just shit posting

>>48360832
finally
>>48360554
can't believe i didnt think of this, thanks man. Another weapon in the arsenal of fucking over shit DMs.

>>48360802
alright, i miscounted a few zeros. it's been a while since ive done math.

but it still comes out to alot less than 34 million years, being at 855 hundred thousand years than my 85. and by then, everyone would be dead, assuming that we haven;t left in space.

so this whole thing is mute since we were both way off the mark

>>48360757
>>48360778
>>48360802
>>48360630
Guys, there is an infinite amount of water in this bottle right, so by the laws of physics, the pressure gradient difference would be infinite at the water/air boundary when you open the bottle,
the flow rate out of the bottle would not 4 gallons.
You open this thing and you die.

>>48360882
>855 thousand
You forgot a 0 there buddy. 8.555 million.

>>48360892
no, the volume of the jug is finite, there is only so much water it can hold. the water is just replaced via magic. the flow can only be affected by the weight of the water on the inside, and since the water is always a finite and fixed volume, flow is also capped

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>>48360909
shit, not only can i not into math, i can't even read.

gonna go turn in my asian license, be right bacj

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>>48359555

>>48359530
What happens when you smash it open

>>48360930
So this object breaks the law of conservation of energy?

Well, I could just make a contraption that is powered by the miniscule flow at first, and then convert this mechnical energy to pump out water from the bottle opening (dumping it wherever), and since the flow rate increases, I get more energy, which increases the flow rate, etc. So now I can pretty much make a doomsday device.

>>48361020
fuck, man. spell it out for me.

so you create a device that is powered by the flow at first to pump water out and build pressure. but whatever machine you build will only be able to give a maximum cap of water out before another thing has to be built to capitalize on the new pressure that you could make with more water. nothing you build could constantly adjust for the ever increasing pressure as you pump more water to increase pressure to pump more water. you are not going to have one doomsday device, just a series of devices to maximize the amount of doom you could get from the jug.

not saying it's not a good idea, since you could significantly cut down on time to drown the world from 8.5 million years to something in the hundred to 10 thousand range

>>48361127
>>48361020
addendum:

the flow is constant under the effect of gravity and it's own weight, which both are constant. it's own flow cannot increase, only the rate at which you can extract the water from the jug

>>48361127
Not technically correct, I am not obligated to spend all the energy I am pumping to increase the pump rate, so I can cap it myself to safe levels.

>>48361161
alright, you don't spend all the energy to increase pump rate.

what are you going to do with that excess energy that you make if you cap it. you've got a perpetual energy machine, are you going to sell the excess energy?

>>48361150
What? That doesn't even make sense. If the rate of water can increase, but not the flow, what ever do you mean?

>>48361232
the rate at which water can be extracted from the jug. under it's own power, the flow is constant. if you introduce mechanical assistance, you can artificially increase the flow by pumping the water out.

>>48361232
If you stuck a hose up it and turned on a pump to actively pull the water out faster than gravity and weight will do it, you've increased the flow. Unless its replenishment rate has a fixed upper limit, you can get the water out as fast as your pump can function.

>>48361272
>>48361274
yes, but this is exactly what I'm doing. I AM pumping, and therefore increasing flow. I have no idea what the point of that post was.

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>>48361307
huh

my bad.

still, what are you going to do with the excess energy if you are not going to rely on the waters magical properties to be your doomsday weapon

>>48361020
>>48361127
>>48361161
At some point, however, the flow rate of the water is do great that it begins to caviate.

>>48361372

obviously whatever contraption you make to increase the flow has to account for mechanical problems. The flow can never go too high otherwise you might end up with a magical water jet cutter.

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>>48359555

ICE COLD

>>48361413
Hey that's a pretty ridiculous weapon too.

I mean infinite power is never a bad thing, I can sell power, power other doomsday devices, who knows.

>>48359626
My group doomed the world in a similar manner a while back.

>in preperation for a trek across the desert the wizard tried to craft a flask of endless water
>decides the best way to do this is with a portal to the elemental plane of water
>when opened, gets hit in the face with a fire hose sized pressure washer blast
>tries to use it as a siege weapon, doesn't work
>party eventually looses it over the side of a ship in the next story arc
>fast forward a couple of years in game
>sea levels are rising and no one knows why
>wizard remembers his failed experiment far to late to avert the flooding of all low lying kingdoms
>never did find that damn flask at the bottom of the sea

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>>48359555

>>48362017
Hold on.... Wait a minute.

If I submerge a bottle of water in water, that bottle of water does not empty.

>>48362168
Not that guy, but it wasn't really a bottle of endless water, it was a portal to the elemental plane of water, more water on one side of the portal than the other so it gushed out. I guess the stopper sealed the portal or something to keep it from just busting open.

>>48359530
What if the PCs just invent a straw?

>>48360585
they suffocate after a bit

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>>48362017
fucking god, this is why you should only make your portals work when active force is used to breach the event horizon of the portal.

to prevent this kind of thing.

you're just as bad as the russians

>>48359752
Nah, they died by drowning
Drowning because they want to drink more water, not because of rising sea levels
Fuck it, spill the decanter over the ocean, and watch as people drink brinewater and die wanting more