All over the world, heavy users of 4chan suddenly receive superpowers,

>>48354722

It's all terrible and the world is fucked.

>>48354722
> superheroes
More like superfaggots.

>>48354773
Only on /r9k/!

>>48354722
I'm gonna state the obvious and say that fa/tg/uys become wizards.
I guess /b/tards would turn into something like Chaos You-know-whats too

>>48354722
This isn't without precedent. Everyone knows that being in contact with toxic waste gives you superpowers.

>>48354785
Robots become literal robots, made of metal with lots of tech, but incapable of feels

>>48354803
>incapable of feels
Isn't it the opposite?

>>48354836
From their perspective it's a superpower

/d/ becomes the villain faction

>>48354722
Almost 50% of my 4chan time is /tg/, with the same amount of time on /co/, and the rest by small bits of /vg/ and /x/. What do I become?
>inb4 "a guy with too much free time"

>>48354868
I'd say /pol/, given how universally hated they appear to be. Most of 4chan considers /d/ harmless eccentrics.

/x/enophiles finally get the ability to create tulpas.

>>48354868

On the contrary, save for the recent /aco/ split which was kind of a mini clusterfuck with a lot of autistic bickering about rules and splitting the community, /d/ is generally one of the chiller boards.

>>48354895
>What do I become?
A faggot.

/o/tists can all go fast, regardless of what car they drive. Their powers get stronger in the presence of eurobeat.

>>48354896
People only hate /pol/ because it challenges their assumptions with arguments they can't dismantle without appeals to emotion.

>>48354924
>same shit different tomato

[s4s] becomes..?
>kinda friendly and polite
>pretending to be retarded 25 hours a day
>repeating the same shit all over
>admiring the beaty of dubs and other repeating digits

File: 69854_447204013398_5961928_a.jpg (12KB, 180x238px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 180x238px

>>48354953

File: PdZAUT.jpg (422KB, 1900x1336px) Image search: [Google]

422KB, 1900x1336px

/pol/iticians become paladins of vengeance

>>48354953
>hurdurr you're angry because I'm right!
Nay, you're just constantly driving threads off topic with shit, deal with it, party-poopers

>>48354978
Blackguards
/s4s/ become Paladins/Clerics

/TG/ becomes shape-shifters. Everything here is role-play, from RPGs to our chosen CCGs (IMMA PLANESWALKER) to, arguably, our war games.

File: 1456186114477.jpg (219KB, 1200x800px) Image search: [Google]

219KB, 1200x800px

>>48354994
> implying /pol/ is evil

File: kkk boards.jpg (86KB, 468x750px) Image search: [Google]

86KB, 468x750px

>>48355027
/pol/ sure feeds from its own spite. And - eh - you are what you eat!

>>48355071
Nonsense. They talk about hating Jews, too!

File: OBLY LIKE GUN.jpg (411KB, 1600x933px) Image search: [Google]

411KB, 1600x933px

>>48355109
Jews are a species of sandniggers, so...
>>48354722
/k/: picrelated

File: cf8.png (618KB, 600x461px) Image search: [Google]

618KB, 600x461px

>>48354976
>>48354979
I wonder who was behind those posts.

Way to go about proving the fucking point.

>>48355225
79 (me) is a slav, hur hur

>>48354953
Well how do fuck do you dismantle "Shill! REEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Anndd this thread is a classic example of why everyone hates /pol/

File: OP.png (476KB, 642x460px) Image search: [Google]

476KB, 642x460px

>>48354722
>heavy users of 4chan

How how heavy is the cutoff point? Like 300 pounds?

>>48355469
Supposedly, the average 4chan user is actually noodle thin.

>>48355562
Except for /fit/.

>>48354722
>/tg/ powers
>animate Your Dudes
>create magical realm
>get shit done

It'll be like Akire, except with entire army of Tetusuos.

>>48355688
>implying 99% of heavy 4chan users are so proactive that, if given powers, they would use them to affect the world rather than just quietly returning to the internet and spending the rest of their lives whining about why they didn't get better ones

>>48354722
I browse /tg/ and /an/ equally. What do I get? How big are the powers? Is it something lame like talking to the animals or can I command weather?

>>48357342
You're an animorph.

>>48357367
That's a curse, not a superpower. Enjoy suffering.

>>48354803
>tfw no more no gf feels
Sign me up

>>48357875
But without feels, how can you truly be a robot?

>>48354953
Hey bud. Everyone else there is joking. Sorry to have to tell you this. But you'll probably call me a jewshill anyway.

>/co/ gets based toon powers
>/tg/ gets minor probability manipulation but not to the point of being mary sues (rolling the dice on fate, after all)
>/g/ gets technomancy
>/d/ gets mind control but only for lewds
>/k/ gets the power of being /k/ and we all have to bow down to them
>/a/ and /v/ get the power to inflict cancer and become supervillains
>/r9k/ - the mysterious frog people!
>/m/ gets a mecha
>/ck/ gets cooking themed powers and they're totally great
>/fit/ gets hulk powers
>/x/ becomes the magicians

/pol/ gets meme magic, fits their whole "ebin master manipulator" character to a t.

>>48354917
I love /aco/ so much. I used to browse /d/ every day for the rare Western toons, but now that /aco/ exists I haven't been on /d/ once.

Apparently there's some drama because I'm not the only one who feels like this?

>>48360120
I didn't know /pol/ considered themselves manipulators. Don't they always complain about how the Jews are manipulative?

>>48355469
I came here to post something similar to this

>>48360268
>I didn't know /pol/ considered themselves manipulators. Don't they always complain about how the Jews are manipulative?
/pol/ has a very high opinion of their board's ability to influence world politics.

>>48354722
/h/ and /d/ What the fuck do I get?
>>48354953
>/pol/fag detected

>>48354722
/his/

File: 500px-Doctor_Manhattan_(Movie).jpg (44KB, 500x593px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 500x593px

>>48360410
>Obama: I'm sorry, Mr. Putin. I would sign the peace treaty, but... The Secret Service here, they say that on this website, those faggots have been saying you're "a Jewish shill".

>>48360503
I wonder who's behind that post...

/int/ gets to speak in tongues and have diplomancy
/sci/ is hyper intelligence
/vp/ gets their own pokemon of choice, barring legendaries. But they also get the pokeball technology
/a/ is able to do anything if they train hard enough at it
/k/ can seemigly spawn any weapon out of nowhere if it can reasonably fit in their clothing/closets/bags. This includes ammo for said weapons
/h/ has the power of not living alone with their new sexy waifu
/y/ is the same as above, but with husbando
/e/ you turn into a girl yourself, and THEN get the waifu
/out/ you become a druid
/biz/ become batman
/news/ become floridaman
/v/ can learn to do anything, provided they murder enough people to get the exp first

/mlp/ gets magic

>>48354722
>>48354896

Oh man, imagine superhumans flocking to Donald Trump's banner. Like at the convention, a guy with immense geokinetic abilities shows up and goes:

> "I AM 'BARRIER'! I AM AN AMERICAN! I SUPPORT TRUMP! AND I WILL BUILD THE WALL FOR YOU!"

Or people laying waste to ISIS and teleporting refugees back to their homeland en masse. Shit would be bananas.

I'm from /jp/.
what superpower do I get?

>>48354722
I have constant /tg/ and /u/ tabs open, hmm...

Wizard with a specialisation in reality warping or creation of what wasn't there?

Heavy /u/sers would be able to manifest their delusions or something to do with having their dreams affect or tell the future.

>>48361177
You turn into an Internet kami and are charged with protecting the web.

That or you become hyper-competent at mastering hobbies, trivia and languages.

>>48361219
I tought I could get danmaku

>>48361115
>Pt2
/an/ also become druids, obviously these are the more common animal/shifter druids with /out/ being terrain/elemental
/asp/ learn a legendary martial art thats powered by being overly-dramatic
/i/ and /ic/ both can create real matter from their art. /ic/ is more detailed and stonger, but requires more effort. While /i/ is quicker but more crude
/trv/ gains teleportation
/sp/ can summon each other at any moment to make a riot at any given time, yet dissipate at will and not be charged with legal penalties
/hist/ become time travelers, but no one is sure if they can actually "change" anything
/lit/ can take in information at a hyper accelerated rate. This is actually a curse.
/soc/ becomes attractive
/mu/ manipulates sound waves
/diy/ can build literally anything out of anything else regardless of physics or reason. The strength of it is a function of how much time, money, and ducktape they are given beforehand.
/po/, paper ninjas
/r/ cannot be said "no" to

/vr/ - the ability to transform tech into older versions, with a mere touch they can turn LCD displays into CRTs, BluRays into VHS tapes (with the same storage capacity, somehow) and so on. Though that's a nice ability for a retro connoisseur on its own, they are also capable of using old gaming accessories in the physical dimension - the Zapper actually shoots lightning, the Power Glove gives them super strength and they can use the Gameboy Camera to briefly freeze time. Their weakness is modern videogames, being in the vicinity of anything newer than 2000 saps away their magical powers.

>>48361115
>/v/ can learn to do anything, provided it has nothing to do with videogames
fixed

>>48361447
I figured /hist/ would gain post-cognition (seeing things that have happened) and /r/ would gain targeted omniscience (ask them where to find something and they'll tell you)

>Ctrl+f+/toy/
>No results

It ain't easy.

I guess the only thing I can think of is animating the inanimate?

>>48354722
/a/ becomes little magical girls
/tg/ becomes wizards
/tv/ becomes respected kino reviewers

I frequent all three of these boards equally (I sometimes ironically parse /pol/ too ), so what superpower do I get

>>48361880
You become a... little magical wizard girl kino reviewer with a hint of racism?

>/pol/
Ability to detect the ethnicity of an individual by hearing or reading about them
>/o/
Ability to strangle the authors of poorly written craigslist ads Vader style
>/k/
Ability to survive without any source of sustenance so long as they have an SKS with them and are within a wooded area
>/r9k/
Gain an immunity to suicide as well as a compulsion to commit suicide
>/b/
Explosive diarrhea. Literally.

File: 8be.jpg (25KB, 600x578px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 600x578px

>>48361880

>/tg/ becomes wizards
>not r9k

REEEEEEEEE

>>48360473
/h/:power of tentacles and turns into a 14 year old girl.

/d/ is the same but with more weirder fetish

>>48354953
found the /pol/ack

>>48362031
>/r9k/
>wizards
They obviously become what they desire the most

comfy

File: image.jpg (46KB, 499x499px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 499x499px

>>48354801

/int/ know all languages including dead ones and are experts in all cultures
/pol/ become the ideal image of an Aryan man as imagined by the nazis and are able to hold amazing speeches
/tg/ become wizards
/b/ become that chaos creature which I'd rather not name
/r9k/ become actual depressive robots

>>48362336
REEE

r9k becomes comfy

>>48362355
r9k all turn into pepes, establish a community and chase out any normies while crying REEEEEEE

>>48355619
All of which are fatasses.

So I'm a female chaos creature wizard thing, neat.

File: marvin3.png (310KB, 470x731px) Image search: [Google]

310KB, 470x731px

>>48362336

>/r9k/

File: Why pol is hated.png (76KB, 1301x351px) Image search: [Google]

76KB, 1301x351px

>>48354953

>>48363033
That argument can be applied to literally every meme ever

your using meme X, I don't like X, therefore that's why no one likes you

/k/
> finally gets PTSD with out the glory and respect of people who got it from a war.
>but their nuggets and sks's never need to be reloaded if they praise the /k/ube hard enough

>>48357342
You're a druid or a ranger

/a/ disappears.
People theorize that /a/ finally was able to go to the 2D world.
The sudden Increase in Isekai anime and manga its a indirect clue to this.

/jp/ disappears.
Is in gensokyo being food for youkai

File: 1468113115797.jpg (41KB, 680x452px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 680x452px

>>48363353
>implying that his point is wrong

>>48361939
>Ability to detect the ethnicity of an individual by hearing or reading about them
You can already kind of do that for the most part, unless you mean have an innate understanding of their precise genealogy.

>>48364292
See, you think that, but you'll be shocked by the amount of posts you disagree with which weren't, in fact, made by Jews.

>>48360120
No, no, meme magic is [s4s] territory

>>48361880
>/tv/
>not Big Guys/CIA

>>48366193
>not delusional elitist morons

>>48361447
Guess I can finally make /po/wer armor now AND be a ninja.

>>48366656
Yeah, but your /po/wer armor will be flimsy as shit.

>>48366162
Haha good joke

>>48360410
Not exactly surprising, given that heightened self-importance is at the core of paranoia. A paranoid is fundamentally someone who believes that they matter so much that entire conspiracies exist for the sole purpose of interfering with their lives. /pol/ has a boardwide case of this, thinking that everyone from the NSA to the Jews to the lizardmen have nothing better to do than to follow their meme threads and send countless "shills" to deceive them. Going from there to believing that their stupid uneducated opinions can decide the fate of nations (because otherwise, why would everyone want to follow them?) is a very short road.

>>48360054
/a/ would finally get what they want and become magical little girls

/v/ would have the ability to suck the fun out of anything

/b/ would just become walking tumors

>>48367828
>/b/ would just become walking tumors
Deadpool?

>>48366510
That's /lit/

>>48354722
just. Wizards.

>>48368016
Who would be?

>>48356129
Hey, you fuckers with the cool powers can't complain about shit.
Come back when the power you got was the ability to make small quantities of hot water lukewarm with a touch.

File: Cao_Cao_over_and_out.gif (2MB, 320x200px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 320x200px

>>48354953

File: marvin.jpg (71KB, 612x344px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 612x344px

>>48362905
>using rubbish Marvin

/tg/ gets the power to stop DMs from railroading.

>>48354956
so they become clerics of repeatings digits with powers centered around such things ?

>>48357367
>"Harry"

>>48354895

a guy with infinite free time. as long as you aren't doing anything productive you don't age.

/s/ could actually approach the women they post

>>48354722
Let's try to build a little more on this. If you go on more than one board regularly, you get a power that may come from all of the ones you visit but it will be weaker. However, you have a better chance to get a specific power that could do better than stronger ones in some situations.
The more boards you go to, the weaker the power is, but the power pool from which you will get it will be larger and you'll have more choice in a way.
Now we just need a theme per board

>>48354946
Fucking 10/10

>>48354722
/his/ can alter peoples memories, make them forget
/pol/ get power of suggestion, mind control stuff
/soc/ can alter peoples emotion, mostly just make people horny and desperate
/b/ turns into a hivemind, being close to another /b/tard gives them access to some of the others thoughts and skills. Like a murder of /b/tards have a mental imageboard they share with eachother, and if one of them is really good at playing the piano, they all get pretty good at it as long as they're linked to that guy.
/an/ can speak with animals
/g/ can speak with computers
/k/ can speak with guns

File: superhero-small.jpg (45KB, 560x381px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 560x381px

>/v/
Pyrokinetics fuelled by anger

>/x/
telepathics that use tin foil hats to protect themselves from each other

>/int/
Universal translation

>/k/
Camouflage, wherever whenever.

>/fit/
Super strength and super low self confidence

>/a/
*teleports behind you*

>>48354946
YES

>>48361115
>>48362336
>>48368960
imo /int/ should understand the language of other /int/ people around them not straight up universal translation.

So if you go to Australia you can understand australian, but only if you meet up with an /int/ bogan

File: MIDDLE_EAST_RED_ZONE4f.jpg (511KB, 1024x576px) Image search: [Google]

511KB, 1024x576px

>>48368960
>/k/

>>48368991
/int/ speaks Alter Tongue

File: super-kid.jpg (2MB, 2460x1980px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2460x1980px

>>48368991
Do the /int/iots detect each other? do they instinctively know where to find the loo/poo?

>>48368960
>/tv/
can grow to such a size as to crash a plane with no survivors

>/mlp/
Can turn into a horse. Just a regular horse. unable to change back

>/an/
Can commune with and influence animals

>/o/
>>48354946 that's just fucking perfect m8

>>48354789
maybe we get character classes and/or race change? I would much rather give my pathfinder half-orc Paladin life instead.

I mainly frequent tg (like, 80% of my time on 4chan), but also visit qst, vp, tv, co, x and a, what power do I get?

File: 1465989496083.jpg (360KB, 847x1200px) Image search: [Google]

360KB, 847x1200px

nor/mlp/eople become sorcerers or wizards, chosing to withdraw even more from society and flee to the untamed wilds. Some of them use their powers to sneak on farms and fuck the farmer's horses or crash brony conventions for the hell of it, others congregate in cultlike groups that hone their magic, ever pursuing a spell that will finnaly take them to Equestria. Once that spell is completed, they all dissappear from the world in a flash, leaving only the memory of their deeds.

>>48360131
well no need to get in it again. the problem is that /d/ has a very outdated rule of "no western" yet no one ever fucking defined what that is and then made a western board so they started removing even fetish's that sounded western over to /aco/

and /aco/ was NOT ready for half of /d/ to be told "go here if you like this fetish" and it took a long fucking time for the mods to go back to not giving a shit and monitoring porn like police.

now everything is like 80% cool. Still bitterness though every once in a while.

>>48369149
>Can turn into a horse. Just a regular horse. unable to change back
Do /d/ turn into /d/orses?

>>48366185
Don't talk bollocks.
/tv/ was the first major meme sorcerer; all other boards just piggy backed off their glory after they summoned a baneposting daemon

>>48363353
yes, a meme, not an entire board full of assholes that everyone despise's because their assholes that can't talk about literally anything else for 1 thread.

Even fucking /d/ can go a few threads without futa.

File: 1464363895412.png (1MB, 1115x971px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1115x971px

>>48367770
>/pol/
>not always right

/d/ becomes shapeshifters obviously.

>>48369359
>that can't talk about literally anything else for 1 thread.
Yeah damn /pol/tards bringing up /pol/ in a thread about where you're supposed to talk about which powers different boards would have.

>>48369570
meant the rascism and jewish hate in their board anon, not /pol/ in general.

File: The Weak should learn to fear the strong.png (873KB, 771x751px) Image search: [Google]

873KB, 771x751px

>>48369389
Herschel Lieberman is an elaborate meme account though.

File: 1457208809983.png (47KB, 864x455px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 864x455px

>>48369667
...well I guess I retract that statement, then.

At least we're 100% positive that Reddit has a hand on it. The day Bernie dropped out, the Bernie threads ground to a screeching halt, and were of course replace with Hill threads.

>>48357342
You are an illusion wizard who specializes in little girls and gay stuff.

>>48369703
Yeah, but who cares what Reddit does? They're more pathetic than the people here, for the most part, so really, it's just people with no lives shilling way too hard for something they personally support.

>>48369703
>Australia is disregarded automatically as a troll
They forgot to mention Canadians
They're probably disregarded even more

File: 1468887979019.jpg (262KB, 1284x980px) Image search: [Google]

262KB, 1284x980px

>>48369703
>We pride ourselves on"dank memes", but this is 4chan we're talking about. Thay have us beat in that area.

4chan in general- can detect other users and what board they browse
/pol/- any individual with darker skin that is near the /pol/ anon will start having feelings of illness. The /pol/ack is also able to easily detect Jews, but it is much harder to make friends with normies.
/a/- will earn powers depending on the last anime with powers they watched. Also, if anyone has ever visited /a/ they will become a loli, regardless of if they browse it much.
/v/- will become very good at all the games they play, but no longer have the ability to enjoy it
/po/- will be able to make nearly anything out of paper and as long as it is close enough to the original in looks it will be functional too. When another user tries to identify what board the /po/ anon browses, they may accidentally think that the individual is a /pol/ack.
/x/- now knows the truth about the supernatural and paranormal and how to deal with them easily and is able to locate them easier too, but only other /x/ anons will think they are sane. If the individual is to wear a tinfoil hat, they cannot be detected by another 4chan user.
/fit/- now a 6 feet or taller individual with high physical strength and muscled bodies, though they now have a constant lust for men, regardless of gender.
/biz/- can now get high paying jobs quite easily
Moot can get as many board effects as he wishes with little to no downsides unlike normal users, but has an instinctual urge to get away from anons.

>>48366985
As flimsy any other /fit/ body in a world of superpowers. A secondary health bar is much appreciated.

>>48369918
>it is much harder to make friends with normies.
Or anyone who isn't a /pol/lack, for that matter.

>>48369703
This looks pretty fake.

File: stormfront.png (356KB, 1360x1888px) Image search: [Google]

356KB, 1360x1888px

>>48369703
Well, stormfront got to them first, so of course it's a lost cause for the left.

>>48369259
That sounds comfy as fuck. Especially if the spell sends every anon to their own Equestria.

The results would be hilarious if it didn't though.

>>48366162
Ok Schlomo

>>48354917
This /d/ is cool, /pol/ become the villains.
>You don't understand, I have to kill the Jews
>Why?
>Because everyone else is a cuck

>>48354953
/pol/ is retarded and hypocritical
>Claim blacks are inferior to whites because of higher crime rates and lower average IQ
>Point out that whites in the US have higher crime rates and lower IQs than Asians
>Yeah but Asians aren't creative (no source provided)

>Laugh at Liberals who want things banned because of "muh feelings"
>Want to outlaw gay marriage for the same reason

>Think liberals are stupid with their concept of a safe space
>Fail to realize that /pol/ is the exact same kind of insular safespace simply more crass

>>48354722
All powers are ironic
>/r9k/
>Everyone instinctively loves you, women fantasize about you, men want to be your friend, children look up to you.
>Always crippled by depression over the fact that you have no redeeming qualities and people only like you because of your power

>/pol/
>Inhumanly charismatic, can rank in public for five minutes and cause a civil war
>After they die their ideas will be perverted within a generation into something completely different that you would have hated

>>48354953
Here's your (you) /pol/friend

>>48369570
>/pol/ stays in /pol/ related threads
There were like 2 threads of /hhg/ shitted up by fucking Brexit and when anyone told them to stay on topic or fuck off they responded with "cuck, yada yada shill, yada yada can't accept the truth."

>>48354953
Many of /pol/'s opinions are retarded , unfortunately people are so used to just ignoring or censoring unpopular opinions that they don't know why that opinion is thought to be wrong. For example holocaust denial is illegal in a few countries because it's "Inciting Genocide", but it really isn't, you're asking someone not to express their opinion because you don't like it. Honestly, its being illegal is probably the most legitimizing thing for the holocaust denial movement.

File: 5700d8dd6dbc3.png (262KB, 800x820px) Image search: [Google]

262KB, 800x820px

>>48354994
>/s4s/

>>48369359
Honestly a lot of opinions are pinned on /pol/, but the board itself is really just an nsfw /news/

>>48355469
That guy looks like 500.

/d/ - Can manipulate their own and other peoples biology. Unfortunately, they can only make changes that they or the target consider to be a turn-on.

/r9k/ - Become Adonis-like androids with no emotions.

/gif/ - can create bubbles of looped time where everything repeats endlessly.

/t/ - Can create copies of anything. The more people that copy the same thing, the faster copying it becomes.

/wg/ - each member of wg can change the landscape around them - so they could declare the block they live on to be a beach, instead. Each wg'er gets one landscape type, but they can share with each other.

Do people who primarily lurk get a varient power?

>>48373043
Nah, just cancer.

>>48369320
I'm still never entirely sure what goes where and the whole thing is kinda stupid. But hey, for the slight inconvenience of going to two different boards sometimes there is more content, so it's kinda nice.

/lit/ can write a 100 word essay overnight

>>48377353
>100 word essay
what the fuck? that's fucking tiny m8

>>48377507
> /lit/ can write a 100 word essay overnight
The joke is that /lit/ never writes anything.

/hc/ can create a thousand dildos up someone's ass instantly, perfoor deflorating the target

>>48361447
>diy become orks

neato

/cgl/ gets the ability to shapeshift into small or medium sized humanoids

alter self at will [\spoiler]

>>48373043
All lurkers become irl spectators.
It's like being a ghost, except utterly shit.

>>48368904
So /b/tards=Lorwyn kithkin?

/tg/ age slowly, live supernaturally long and get super hearing. Becomes more powerful for each deceased family member.

/co/, nose can turn bright red at will to for illumination. Gives off harmful radiation(to others) if focused and if the user is a heavy /co/ user.

/v/, can turn wine into water

/qst/, can make quest threads on /tg/

File: 1467870565529.jpg (77KB, 490x566px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 490x566px

>>48378837
>/qst/
>heavy users
Pick one.

File: cute youkai umbrella.jpg (634KB, 1430x1750px) Image search: [Google]

634KB, 1430x1750px

>>48361177
Base homeboard perk (activates only if you've been a NEET for 2 years or longer):

You've become a youkai. Your body is still essentially human, and do not possess enhanced physical strength or durability. You don't age anymore and have no need for food, but you need at least 1 creature with human intelligence or higher to acknowledge your existence, or else your existence will quickly end. You can completely hide your presence from humans at will. You can "eat" strong human emotions and get a temporary spiritual power boost; you can make more humans believe in your existence and fear you - and get a permanent one.

Unlockable perks, 1 believer == 1 faith point:

100 points: you can gather faith directly from the Internet mentions of you.

1000 points: you can choose a youkai type of human origin (rokurokubi/nukekubi, ohaguro, yuurei, lesser oni, etc). You're now that type of youkai, with all upsides and downsides. Your power is even more dependent on faith now, which means you can be weaker than a human and your existence will end even quicker if no one believes in you, but power up from human emotions and faith will be noticeably greater.

100,000 points: you can become any (up to minor deity level) folklore entity and change your "alignment" (method of gathering faith, from fears to hopes for example). If you do, number of your believers drops to 1/1000, they remember only about "new" you now. Faith-based power scaling still applies.

500,000 points: you can very slightly bend reality in your favor and you probably have a small permanent following and/or firmly established system of beliefs and superstitions around your existence, you can control them to some degree. Beliefs now affect your nature and abilities.

999,999 points: if number of your believers drops to 0, you instantly get transferred to Gensokyo.

1,000,000 points: you can shapeshift to a 2D bald faceless man and participate in events of any doujinshi in person.

>>48382264
>a /jp/ poster

>>48372141
/pol/ is not one person. I go to /pol/ and don't believe in religion, banning gay marriage, and I have great respect for Asians.

I also don't typically derail threads into /pol/ shit because I have a whole board for that. I don't need to take it to /tg/ or /fit/, even though I can recognize plenty of /pol/ocks already there

>>48363033
>lefty shitposting
>in any way a valid rebuttal
The replies to the initial statement prove its efficacy. /pol/ is not the embodiment of a set group of ideals, but the realization of objective truth, whatever that implies.

If you're hurt by truth that contradicts your beliefs, no one gives a fuck.

>>48379231
if we're judging by weight, they're probably quite heavy

File: 1468550145230.jpg (368KB, 846x1024px) Image search: [Google]

368KB, 846x1024px

/pol/ users gain the ability to influence how viral ideas, concepts, and images are, essentially allowing them to make certain ideas fail to catch on, and others seem to spread everywhere within a day. Basically meme magic turns real.

>Inb4 can't they already do that

Shut up

/tg/ gets the ability to manipulate chance, making events more or less likely to occur. This cannot reach the quantum level, so only macroscopic natural events can be altered.

/fit/ all become Saitama.

/d/ gains the powers of shapeshifting and hypnosis.

/his/ gets the power to interrupt anything anywhere with Christposting. The RNC? Suddenly Christposting. BLM riot? Suddenly nigs Christposting.

/a/ get the power to stop time for up to nine seconds at a time.

/sci/ become Geniuses from Genius: The Transgression

/x/ learns Hermetic magic.

/wsg/ gains the power to surf the web with their brains, as well as control machinery.

File: knight gundam plamo.jpg (1MB, 1826x1028px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1826x1028px

>>48360054
Id settle for a robot friend

>>48383353
What's Christposting?

/asp/ can come out of nowhere.
/toy/ can make golems.
/vr/ gets multiple lives.
/vg/ gets powers of the last game they played, but they can only use them if they are in the presence of another /vg/ poster.
/hr/ can enhance anything, and not just videos or images either.
/mlp/ can cast magic but only using a horn, and they can also trigger purple dinosaurs.

/v/ gains hyper-advanced hand-eye coordination, but loses their childlike sense of wonder
/tv/ can retain any and all information passing before them from a digital medium and spout it back flawlessly, much like a common parrot, but with screens
/wg/ can implant any image in anyones mind with perfect clarity, but only if it's a jpg
/fit/ gain superstrength at the cost of their ability to be humble
/i/ can bring drawings and artworks to life
/b/ is granted infinite cosmic wisdom, shattering their sanity and reducing them to a drooling imbecile.
/cgl/ become changelings, able to take on any form they please
/diy/ gain +50 to profession: engineering
/n/ gain inherent understanding of hyperspace travel
/toy/ can breathe sentience into models/toys
/x/ can make contact with the paranormal/supernatural


/tg/ become wizards, but any and all record of them ever having sex is erased from history and can not be undone
they also lose their external genitalia

>>48384532
>/tg/ become wizards, but any and all record of them ever having sex is erased from history and can not be undone
they also lose their external genitalia

That's cruel, man

/trash/ become animorphs

I feel whatever power I get will be suiting.
>if 2^3chans /Christian/ counts in this
Lawful good - Paladin sorta spells
then /pol/
Lawful Neutral - Vengeful Paladin Spells
then /fit/
Pure fucking strength
then /tg/
which i feel would probably give some shitty spells

A combination of the first three would have been lovely. Will allow me to around smiting Kebabs.

/k/ gains the ability to turn nuggets into nuggets and vice versa

>>48363033

That guy really nailed it.

File: stormfront srs.png (9KB, 951x183px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 951x183px

>>48371768
>le Stormfront raid meme

That never happened. If you look at the links, none of them are about raids, at best it's like one guy saying he browses /b/. This copypasta came from a SJW subreddit called SRS.

https://www.reddit.com/r/SRSMeta/comments/17dosp/so_you_know_how_everyone_says_r*ddit_is_being/
https://www.reddit.com/r/SRSDiscussion/comments/17jqjt/how_do_we_counter_stormfronts_bugs/

With all the mindless bitching about /pol/ in this thread, it wouldn't surprise me if they were here too. All SRS does on 4chan is whine about /pol/ constantly and try to get it deleted.

>>48371768
First thing that comes up, is this what you're talking about?
https://www.stormfront.org/forum/t1019254/

Man, I always thought Stormfront was a vidya

>>48369746
If you disregard your enemies they win.

File: yoba_silly.jpg (27KB, 362x362px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 362x362px

>>48354722
/b/ stops aging.
On one hand, some kind of immortality, but on other hand, who the hell gonna take people who look like 14 year olds seriously?

File: 1459293021607.jpg (33KB, 552x475px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 552x475px

http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Special:Random

Each board as a common superpower, and you add a random one from this link.

/tg/ + random for me:
>Wizard
>Hive Genetic
The power to share an individual trait, skill, or ability with the other members of one's species.

C-Can I share my wizardry with y-you guys?

>>48384909
Ironic that the message in your pic applies to your message as well.

File: laugh1.jpg (65KB, 491x411px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 491x411px

>>48354801

Gave me a sensible chuckle

>>48385210

I was just showing where the "Stormfront raid" copypasta in that image came from.