It's a running gag that in D&D 3.5e, a common housecat

>>47692886
Well, going by oWoD rules the answer is: a lot.

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About this much before the human basically wrecks the cat's shit by grabbing it and beating it against a wall a couple of times.

>Cats are generally timid creatures
>they're generally pleasant pets
OP confirmed for never owing a cat or actually being a cat.

>>47692886
Wife (g/f at the time) owned a cat. She grew up on a farm and cats make wonderful pest control.
She was in the kitchen and the cat was wandering around. The cat came up to me and was affectionate, so I picked it up. This was a bad idea, as I was shirtless at the time.
Wife drops a glass bowl which spooks the cat and it immediately buries it's claws into my chest. Not wanting it to take my chest with it when it jumps off, I bear hug the damn thing and move into a position to drop it with minimal damage to myself. The bear hug broke both of it's front legs.

So yeah it's shit.

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>>47693184
>or actually being a cat
But cats can't use computers.

well if the human is low to the ground for whatever reason the cat could go after the arteries in the groin and arms.

>>47693164
Point of order
Dnd doesn't have RAW for that. No "grapple a target, hit it against wall for damage" AFAIK . Hence why the system is stupid. Or at least one of the multitude of reasons for it

>>47692886
>It's a running gag that in D&D 3.5e, a common housecat is capable of wrecking the average commoner
I thought that originated with old school D&D where people are a decent bit squishier.

>>47692886
>Is it possible, even if only theoretically, for a housecat to kill an adult human?
Theoretically? Sure. Though infected wounds would probably be the most likely route, and that's gonna take a bit. Don't get me wrong, cats can fucking shred your skin and poke nasty holes in you with their teeth, but they don't have much capacity to inflict immediately critical wounds.

>>47694502
>I thought that originated with old school D&D where people are a decent bit squishier.
Old-school D&D had damage rules for cats something along the order of "damage 1d2-1", which meant that the cat either did 0 HP or 1HP damage. Compare that to the statblocks for a 3.5 cat and a 0-level commoner and you'll see why the joke exists.