Your character has just posted an ad on a dating website. What

>>47091209
Shave his beard, Apply for the position, then kill her when she lets down her guard.

Takeover rule of the Underworld.

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>>47091209

>>47091239
She's not actually ruler of the underworld. Just a delusional teenager who is also a dark mage. Also you're supposed to post your own character's ad!

>>47091209
>Lover here, I'll show you the ultimate experience in bed <3
>Bring your friends, family and work friends, I've got time and room for everyone~
>Men/boys only. Larger you are downstairs, the better!
>I'll keep this event open for a whole week, feel free to stay around until I've sucked you dry!
The dating website is Craigslist

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>>47091209

>29, F, bisexual, looking for an intense one-time experience with a willing partner (or partners)
>Also, be prepared, because you will barely be sleeping the entire weekend that we do this thing.
>You can sleep at my apartment for exactly 8 hours after but then you have to leave. No breakfast.
>If you see me again later act like you don't know me.
>If and when the cyber ninjas bust in to kill me you're on your own; I recommend a good pair of running shoes. Firearms or martial skill optional, but a plus.

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>>47091209

To The Fairer Sex and the General Public:

I, Antonio Constantino Renaldo Corono-Modelo de Tekate XX, Beloved and Legitimate Generalissimo of the 14th Tekate Rifles, Rogue Trader, Savior of the People of Tekate, declare the intent to find permanent comfort in the arms of a woman.

The woman I desire must have the following qualities in ample amounts:
>The love of Poetry, Public Theater, and Military Tactics, both regular and irregular
>a healthy proportion, of preferably (though not exclusively) natural origin
>Faith in the strength of the God-Emperor
>The ferocity of a Catachan Devil
>The Purity of a Sororitas
>The sensuality of a vixen
>The Virtue of a True and Moral Woman
>A strong tolerance of Amasec and other fine spirits
>The skills to treat and be treated by a Lord and Master as powerful as a Servant of the Emperor
>Female reproductive organs in a reasonable and manageable arrangement and number

Mutants and abhumans need not apply. Auditions for the position of Lover and Consort to the Generalissimo shall be held in the Pride of Tekate Bar, owned by the Generalissimo, between the hours of 0000 and 0900. This position is open to all who wish to apply, and shall be filtered through an application process by servants and trusted equerries of the Rogue Trader.

Dictated, but not read,

Generalissimo Antonio Constantino Renaldo Corono-Modelo de Tekate XX

pic related is who this RT is based on.

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M, 26. Straight.

Hello my name is Tulkas Hammersmith, of House Hamersmith. I am the 12th son of a noble and decided to pledge myself to the god Bahamut as several of my brothers before me have. Bahamut must be part of your life as well. I remain chaste as per my vows and I need the same in any moral woman who deigns my company. I travel and would love to have you be with me before we settle down and assist with my family's holdings. I really want a woman who will connect with me mentally and spiritually, someone who cares as little about physical apperance and wealth as I do.

Attached is a small portrait of myself.

>22, Male, Hetero.
>Looking for a woman of high morals to keep me on the straight and narrow.
>Must be good at games of Sabaac.
>Humans only please. No offense to you fine ladies of other races, but I have to keep up appearances for imperials, y'know how it is.
>Must be tolerant of droids and most nonhuman species.
>High Willpower a plus.
>Knowledge of "Jedi" or "The Force" a plus.

this thread has potential
bumping

>Age: I dunno, I can't cound dat much
>Lookin' fer a good grod to be enemies 'til da end of taems, like Ghazghull and Yarrick
>Promize eternal war, an' savin' yer arse if ya iz in trouble dat izn't made by me
>WAAAAGH

>M, 150, Wizard
>Must be sentient
>Willing to be polymorphed for 24 hrs.
>Kobolds need not apply.

>>47091209
Dexterous swordsman (and fashion designer) looking for woman to travel the world with.
It is preferable (but not required) to have the following qualities:
>Knowledge of how to kill a man with a variety of household implements.
>Enjoys modeling varieties of clothing I produce.
>Is not a lesbian.
>Is not a lich.
>Can read.

Any elves that post photos are encouraged to specify gender.

>>47091209
>Charming servant of the cloth looking for someone to share love with
>My name is Anon and I am fifteen years old, of average height and build: I am looking for a girl with whom I can share the burden of blessing the fields together, sharing the love of Pereine with everyone. If you serve a different God or Goddess, please do not reply.

I did not choose that age. I rolled for it. And I was pretty fucking lucky, since my other players rolled below that.

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>>47091209
>Anyone want to bone?

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>>47091209
>Male 32, looking for long term relationship
>I'm a M.D. looking to go into early retirement, and want to do so together with the love of my life. I've found a decent plot of land on a newly settled planet in the outer rim. The plan is to start a small farm there.
>If you're a woman between 20-40, and the prospect of starting a family and lead a quiet life on the outskirts of civilization sounds interesting, please send me a message.

>>47091789

10/10

>>47091209
Take me you stud muffin!

>>47091209

Male, 32...ish, working in a very big, albeit obscure business company. Looking for a female partner who must

>Enjoy dominance and BDSM
>Like chains
>Possess somewhat pleasant aesthetics
>Like chains
>Have no problems with scars and wounds
>Like chains
>Not be excessively attached to her soul
>Also she has to appreciate chains

All races not too hideous apply.
No paladins and dirty anarchists, thank you.
If you're a succubus, I will know. And I will Smite Chaos.

Edit: Some nasty individual has started to accuse me of being a chain devil. How could you even think something like that?

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Male: 35, asking that you filthy Heretics stop your heretical ways and actually seek love out the proper way, the mans way.

>Likes the Emperor
>Enjoys patrols
>Commonly seen drinking
>A real demon on the card table
>Enjoys trying new things

Make sure you tell the Commissar it was Armsman Elanced or we might have some problems of the firing line kind.

>M, 17, straight
>private with nothing better to do
>i like dom shit (me dom you sub)
>looking for:
>should like 60s rock music
>hope you like drugs
>no old chicks
>no fat chicks
>no black chicks
>NO COMMIE CHICKS

These are great, bumpan

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>>47091209
I can only imagine one of those cheeze interview videos where the guy sits in a chair and talks about himself, but my character keeps fidgeting, not paying attention and trying to put his helmet back on and being egged on/told not to put his helmet back on by the other PCs.

Meanwhile he mostly just talks about engineering and his job piloting the freighter they're all living on before getting told he's off-topic and having to say something about himself again.

>>47093570
>Not wanting to have a faithful Travia cleric wife.

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>Career-minded 26 year old woman looking for a nice evening with a respectable man.
>I've had a stressful week and would appreciate a chance to relax. I shall leave the choice of venue to you, and trust that you won't embarass yourself by taking me to some pig sty in the slums. I have a reputation to uphold, so I won't be seen in any seedy bars or the like.
>Take a look in the mirror and make sure you aren't hideously deformed before contacting me. My standards are high and I will not be letting you down gently. Humans only, obviously.
>No, we won't be "going back to your place" afterwards. Don't be revolting.

Le love bump

>>47091209

>Devoted Servant of Justice seeks True Villainy
>I, Bolg the Punisher, swore an oath of enmity and took on the mantle of justice, but heroism is a lonely road. Most foes I've stood against have been merely pretenders, cowards and misunderstood extremists, and have surrendered or been swept aside.
>I seek one who is stronger than that, one truly dedicated to their dark crafts and ambitions, a true master of evil! Come out, and face reckoning! I will oppose your schemes, harry your forces, foil your rituals, and fight against you at every turn! So long as there is light in my heart, I will not permit you to continue, so face me! One on one, in a confrontation that no others can have!
>Preference to foul sorceresses, witches, baronesses, and evil queens. Your magic and rank avail you not against the might of justice!
>Older foes preferred. Show me your dark scheme you've been working for years! Novices and acolytes are paltry foes, give me a true fight!
>Yes, I am a dwarf, but that does not mean I lack for strength! I will not stand for insults upon my honor, nor shaving of my beard! You will have to take it from my defeated body!

Milf dom v. dom Foe Yay when

>>47091789
9/10, would date.
>>47091912
4/10, would not date.
>>47092053
5/10, would date.
>>47092589
10/10, would fuck.
>>47092674
0/10, am kobold.

>>47091209
>Young Navigator looking for unbethroted Navigator woman
>Genetically sound, healthy 75 year old Navigator from well-off family looking for preferably unmutated Navigator woman between ages of 20-65 to secure house contracts and offspring
>Offerings include trade deals in sector Tempestus, protection by family-bound militia extendable to the partner's novator, priority investments in up-and-coming rogue traders businesses, honeymoon on family-owned paradize planets as well as top-notch education and care for viable, unmutated offspring and during retirement
>Families with no holdings on Terra need not apply

>>47098423
Kobolds get out

AM get out

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>>47091209

> I just want someone who will tell me everything is going to be okay.