What's the weirdest thing you've ever kept in

You, anon.

A blackhole. Pickpocket me again will ya? Stupid Street urchins

>>46723406
A penis. We were drunk, and having fun, fighting our way through a fertilely goddess's temple that had been taken over by a asshole wizard. When we finally managed to kill him, a disco ball dropped down from the ceiling, the light dimmed, and the goddess stepped out with our reward.

Which was a penis. A fully healthy, working penis, that just happened to be missing a body to go along with it. Evidently we can 'use' it to summon her, but we just tossed it it my bag and make a occasional joke about it.

>>46724252
So I'm not sure if you mean he was an asshole or if he was actually a literal asshole

>>46724299
I guess the better word for him would be douchebag ass-o-mancer. His spells revolved around attempting to bludgeon us or drown use with shit, and forcing various saving throws vs smell.

Several barrelfulls of snow, kept frozen by an artifact also kept in the bag that constantly emits an aura of cold.

I had a feat from the frostburn splatbook that let me add the cold subtype to a spell by adding snow to the material components. Or something like that; I don't really remember the specifics.

Liquidized elf.

He got cocooned and liquefied by a giant werespider which was also one of the players, and we needed to revive him so he could give us a quest.
The druid didn't have a proper Resurrection spell and we forgot about him due to another quest, so for the rest of the campaign we had liquid elf in a jar.

The barbarian accidentally drank most of him when he failed his saving throw against a thirst spell and panicked.

>>46723406
A Kobold rouge.

>>46723406
Does putting another bag of holding inside the first one and tossing it at a dragon count?

Looking at this thread, we used ours for absolutely mundane shit apparently. Our barbarian had us put several casks of wine in there, and we once used it to torture a goblin into giving us information by suffocating him into submission, sort of like waterboarding. Because murderhobos.

So mundane.

>>46723406
A small, white, fluffy creature that could eat anything and would acquire some of the properties of whtever it ate. It was completely uncontrollable so we had no use for the thing.

Cute as hell, though.

>>46723406
A paladin. For weeks, before we realized.

>>46727150
How did he survive? How did you not realize?

>>46727269
Minor storytime, but.

>for a quest reward, an NPC gave us a Bag of Holding
>In an emergency, we stowed the paladin inside with a Bottle of Air while we did a brief bit of travel.
>When the time came to open the bag, he was gone; we assumed him taken somehow.
>Over the next few weeks the bag continued working fine, nothing special.
>Then, one day, we opened the bag and found the loot we'd stowed inside, and realized.

The NPC had given us a cursed bag, with two compartments, randomly switching between the two... and due to unlucky die rolls, we hadn't realized until now.

>With horror, we re-opened the bag a number of times until eventually we retrieved our loot, and a very hungry paladin.

Good times.

>>46723406
A dozen skeleton knights with armor and weapons, i forget how i got them but it became my thiefs version of a smokebomb, like Kriegger in Archer.

>>46723406
One of my PCs

>>46724356
Normally I'd say that's funny but if your GM gives you a disembodied dick and expect you to 'use' it, I'd worry this is magical realm territory.

>>46723406
A sorceror on a throne

>>46723406
>A beehive
>A river
>A person so he can get through prison bars, get out and get the next person out.

>>46723406
I turned an empty bag of holding inside out, and then closed it, putting the entire dimension, and everything in it, inside my bag of holding. It was fun to play a campaign where no creatures from other dimensions could ever enter because the dimension was closed from the inside.

>>46727516
Nah, he said we could use it while we were drunk. It hasn't been brought up since then except as a joke.

>>46729132
Does this work?

>>46729243
>depends on the DM.jpeg

>>46723406
The molten remains of two dead allies mixed together with liquid gold. We just never got around to separating the bloody corpses from the gold and nobody thought it was a good idea to hand over a chuck of gold with a bloody skull embedded in it.

>>46725391
Only works with a Bag of Holding being put into a Portable Hole.

>>46723406
My players still haven't opened that bag of holding they found on a hill giant yet.
It has a broken jug of alchemy in it and filled with 50 gallons of rancid mayo.

>>46730563
Oh my god yes

>>46723406
The enchanted, disembodied breast of a succubus(that contained the preserved body of the dragonborn gal), which was more lovecraft than magical realm considering a true form succubi is a hideous thing in the dm's personal monsterpedia.

And here I was thinking I was clever keeping pocket skeletons in case of needing to slow someone down while escaping. Then again if you emptied the bag out there was probably over a dozen animated skeletons, a modest pile of bones, and a handful of corpses.

>>46734228
None of which I might add were killed by me, they were dead when I found them.

>>46729132
That's retarded.

>>46734228
>Pocket Skeletons
This sounds amazing and useful. Need to hold open a door? Pocket Skeleton got you covered. Need to distract a guard? Pocket Skeleton. Pocket Skeletons would have a million uses, and since they can't die, so to speak, they can be reused over and over again.

>>46734606
It got to the point where every time I animated a skeleton my DM rolled a percentile, about halfway through the campaign I wound up with a sentient skeleton named Larry who made bone puns about everything. The scary part is I gave him a ring of jump and he was able to attune to it. After that I hooked him up with a sword, shield, and a chain shirt. He was fun, I kept him in my handy haversack and he'd pop out once in a while.

What I normally did with the pocket skeletons was leave them as live traps pretty much. We were running Princes of the Apocalypse at the time and had just passed through the cultist area of the earth temple without really finding anyone, so I left half a dozen skeletons inside one of their rooms in case them came back.

>>46734228
I have done the same, I even had the bag attached to the inside of my robe's sleeve and had strings attached to their skulls so I could have quick-draw skeletons.

Then there was that time where, in a fight with a lich, our wizard and cleric both died, so our bard, ranger, and me, the fighter, decided to throw his phylactery in a bag of holding since we couldn't destroy it before he reformed. We kept him as a pet and checked on him every once in a while.

>>46734960
Pocket lich, genius.

>>46734994
When we opened the bag, he generally shot out high-level evocation spells, we began to point it at enemies

>>46723406
A fully grown dragon
Long story short a guy who wanted us to retrieve a dragon egg died after we for it, so we chucked it in the bag and forgot about it.
We checked inventory a few sessions later and realised we still had it. Months had passed in game so the DM said of had hatched

>>46723406
The dead bodies of our friends, prior to bringing them to a church for rezing.

>>46729132
This doesn't work you fucking munchkin. Turning a bag of holding inside-out only makes it explode in your hand.

>>46723406
Pressurized snakes.

>>46727376
Thats fucking great