How do you stat modern mallninja weaponry or ancient impractical

>>46269056

>Fair
>Realistic
Pick one.

>>46269056
>1d6 damage
>Breaks on a nat 1

Easy. Improvised weapons.

>>46269056
1d4 dmg to target, 1d6 dmg to weilder. Flip a coin, it breaks completely on heads

>>46269056
>stat as dagger
>negatives to charisma/persuasion type task rolls
>describe the jeers and smirks of anyone who sees it

Joking aside I'd just stat it as a dagger or short sword, and let the player have his fun with it as long as he's not a problem in other ways.

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Why dont we make this a stupid weapons thread

>>46269056
That one I would stat as a punching dagger/katar with to hit penalties for being unwieldy/imbalanced and a small chance of breaking when used.

Most other fancy/art piece weapons I'd give similar "not really a weapon" penalties.

>>46270348
Don't you dare talk shit about my gun sheath.

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>mall ninja
Jesus fuck how did I miss something like that. I had no idea this is a thing

>A mall ninja is a type of weapons and combat enthusiast that is characterized by being so ungrounded in reality as to make even the most hardcore gun nuts shake their heads. Equal parts naïveté, delusion, and obnoxiousness, the mall ninja contributes to countless ill-informed online debates concerning arms, armor, and warfare, and is a common consumer of assorted paramilitary woo, broscience, and shared misconceptions about history and the world.

This is amazing. I just googleimage'd the term. It's goddamn amazing. This shit needs to be a game

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what would a setting be like where Mall Ninja gear actually worked?

>>46270477
Fedora: The tipping

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>>46270477

>>46270535
Holy fuck I want to make that.

>>46270477
That doesn't have anything to put bullets in.

>>46270535
>morality stat: enlightenment
>power stat: euphoria

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>>46270574
It exists anon

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>>46270461
Okay, so thinking fast.
>use Laser & Feelings system for this
>actually scratch that. Use Tactical Waifu mod
>The scale is now MALL NINJA to SHEEP where sheep denotes how adjusted to the society you actually are
>Also, we're creating SWEETHEART instead of SENPAI
BAM. Simple game is fucking ready.
But can we do more?

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>>46270574
Let me save you the work.

>>46270604
>>46270627
Well now what the fuck do I do with Saturday afternoon.

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>>46269210
Close, "1d4 dmg to target, 1d6 to user, breaks on a coin flip, -2 THAC0, +1 AC"

>>46270653
Shitpost.

>>46270653
Make a mall ninja game that would be actually fun to play?

>>46270670
Chicken dinner.

>>46270674
It'd have to have mechanics to match, though. Shared-narrative, no attributes, dice pools using custom dice (apps).

>>46270627
>>46270604
Is the system good? Has someone played this?

>>46270565
this is one of my favorite games, and that idea would probably work.

>>46270565
>flavour text in the rulebook literally has an orc runner buy a Kit Rae wallhanger modded into a powersword

It's canon.

>>46270348

What do you mean by stupid? Chainsaw katana combined with gun sheath is fucking awesome.

>>46270590

You can still chamber bullets individually.

>>46269056

90% chance of impaling the user

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kFgeZtkAb8

>>46270461

Welcome to 2004 newfriend

>>46270348
The thing about a chainsaw blade-weapon (like a chainsword) is that if you give it long teeth, it's actually really, really good at ripping giant chunks out of soft targets (You ever seen what a chainsaw does to flesh, even just grazing it? It's fucking brutal).

In order to make one of those weapons work, you'd have to:

A) Find a strong enough chain to be able to take a hit or two without ripping itself to pieces.

B) Give it a powerful enough engine that it moves fast enough to tear as much out of a target in as short a time as possible

C) Fuel that motor with a long-lasting, efficient, and portable fuel source, ideally on the weapon itself (though it can be a backpack fuel source).

D) Not give a fuck about being sneeky beeky, because you're wielding a chainsaw.

In theory, such a weapon is possible to build, and can actually BE built today - just not in any manner that could justify its implementation.

>>46269056
[Improvised]

>>46271740
>just not in any manner that could justify its implementation.

Why justify it? Just stick it up on youtube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ljd_hUxCfI

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>tfw the school bullies dont know whats about to go down tomorrow

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>>46272060
What is that.
Why is that.

>>46271740
A lot of small moving parts in a melee weapon is likely not to work well. Using stuff with clockwork inside as a swing-stick will eventually render the mechanism all fucked up.

>>46270477
Tenra Bansho Zero. One of the most weeb settings, but also one of the best systems.

>>46271740
Damaging flesh is piss easy though, you don't really need a weapon that specialises in it.

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>mfw I own weapons like these

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>>46272723

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>>46272285

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>>46272723

>>46272723
>>>/reddit/

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>>46272119

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>>46272754
>>46272784
>>46272799

I was 16 at the time, it sounded like a good idea at the time!

>>46272873
Meh, it's not all that bad, when I was 17 I bought a $200 dollar hat at the ren fair.

>>46272916
I had a buddy that dropped like $600 on a full ren faire outfit. I think he wore it once

>>46271740
>A) Find a strong enough chain to be able to take a hit or two without ripping itself to pieces.

That won't be light.

>B) Give it a powerful enough engine that it moves fast enough to tear as much out of a target in as short a time as possible

More weight. Especially since we want torque.

>C) Fuel that motor with a long-lasting, efficient, and portable fuel source, ideally on the weapon itself (though it can be a backpack fuel source).

As strong as the motor is, it's probably going to be thirsty. So a heavy amount of fuel.

A chainsaw isn't light. Then we add a lot more weight here. This won't be fun if you're up against an opponent who's, say, trying to not get hit. Or trying to hit you. Or, horror of horrors, both.

Oh the plus side, that extra weight will keep the saw from flipping around quite as fast as it otherwise would have when those teeth bite into something they can't just shred. It'll still end up in your face sooner or later, but it'll be a bit less common at least.

>>46272805
There is nothing wrong with Reddit.

>>46270661
you now realize that her sheath doesn't match her sword

>>46270661
>>46273031
>tfw you also realize that it's a trap.

>>46272723
> weapons

>>46270477
I actually like that design when the gun is not there

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>>46272723
>mfw i just remembered i have some neon green zombie sword in my closet that I was gifted a while back

>>46273368
At that point it's a tonfa, basically.

>>46273616
Not really. A tonfa can still be manipulated, gripped at various points and make adjustments as necessary, that ugly heap of crap is strapped to the forearm like Galvarino after losing both his hands only for no reason

>>46271740
As soon as it hits something solid the chain would break or fall off the track, the motor would render it too heavy to swing with any amount of dexterity, and you would require at least 30 seconds notice to start it before fighting.

>>46273017
>>/reddit/

>>46270348
Chain swords and vibra-blades aren't completely stupid.

The idea of a shotgun that can easily slide apart into two pieces is fucking retarded though.

>>46269056
>I move to attack with my ebin katar
>roll 1d8 for snagging on my own clothing
>roll 1d8 for snagging on opponents clothing
>roll 1d4 for breaking upon impact

>>46273031
Maybe it's her opponent's sheath. She grabbed it sometime during combt, clobbered them over the head and then stabbed them.

Captcha suggests clobbering people with a cactus...

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>>46274383
>Captcha suggests clobbering people with a cactus

>>46270604
>>46270627
Jesus christ, the fact that someone took the time to build this as in-depth as it is is impressive.

>>46274243
>bigger bin
>implying the council will collect non-standard wheelie bins

u avin' a giggle m8?

My dustmen get shirty about us putting stickers on our wheelies to mark them as ours, wankers.

>>46274243
Im surprised no one has make a setting about edgelords vs religion

>>46271488
HAHAHAHAHHA That is like the opposite version of dakka right there

>>46273004
There has to be a X-Men mutant who would inherently fix all these issues.

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>>46275654
Not that sort of bin you batty bint

>>46269056
Hey /tg/, what are some good weapons? I collect some few but I dunno if they enter mall mini territory.

A) 6 foot oar made of maple. Okinawan style. Came with a course on how to use it at my old dojo.

B) two ornate spears from when my grandfather flew some RCA missions in Africa during ww2. Worn and old. Still sharp.

C) shitty mall katana my mother in law gave me from when her aunt moved to the US.

D) Dull Chinese cut sheet steel sabre, leather sheathe, naked mermaid guard.

E) Cold iron knife beaten from a railroad tie. Nice, sharp as sin and good for camping trips. Just needs to be sharpened then oiled and baked when you return home.

F) Knife made from a large white tailed deer antler and a hunk of iron. Same smith that made the rail-spike knife. Doesn't hold a good edge but is still cool.

G) hilarious knife made of pig rib(?), monkey fur/leather hilt, baked clay sun and moon. A real curio. Pointy enough you could legit stab a person with it. Just fragile.

I guess I don't pretend any of these would be especially effective so I don't think I'm a mall ninja. It is a neat collection tho.

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>>46276774
>6 foot oar made of maple
Genuine historical precedent

>>46273031
I've always known that

>>46275729
I'd play it, but only if you could play as either side.

Imagine a fat fedoralord with one of these 'cool' weapons getting the shit kicked out of him by a catholic priest.

>>46277292
Imagine a pedophile catholic priest getting the shit kicked out of him while the child he just raped watches on and cheers.

>>46275729
>Edgelords, fedoramasters and special snowflakes againts christians,muslisms and jews
I would play that

>>46270661
I recognize that bulge!

>>46270627

This is so good.