What guild of Ravnica would you join? Keep in mind that dating

>>46168715
Simic. No doubt about it.

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>>46168715
Boros
Even if i die it would probobly be a pretty cool death

Golgari.
Show them the magic of Diamonds shaped like lion's eyes and great technological advancements.

>>46168715
House Dimir. Why join one guild when you could join ALL THE GUILDS?

>>46168715
In all honesty i would probably end up joining the selesnya conclave, im really impressionable

Azorius, I'm a cuck.

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>>46168715

>>46168901
pretty accurate

Orzhov

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Simic all the way

Golgari for the NEETdom and immortality by zombification.

>>46169243
>NEETdom
Unlikely, you'll probably end up working the rot farms

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Selesnya looks super cozy. Warm, fresh atmosphere. Abundance. Wurm guardians. Lots of babes.

Izzet. I like tinkering with things.

>>46168715
Simic.
If I find a nice non-guilded girl, I'd take her on as my lab-assistant-cum-test-subject.

Also, I'd turn myself into a slime.

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>>46169453
That why Simic is the best choice: Why stop at the slime transformation? We can be so. much. MORE.

Boros. Justice is the sexiest thing out there.

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>>46169620
this guy gets it

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Gruul.

Hanging out with Domri, summoning the fucking STREETS to kick people's shit in, and fucking like rabbits with shaman chicks sounds great.

>>46169710
But Anon, Demons are inherently Rakdos allies.

>>46169269
>used to long hours of sedentary job
>low manteinance
>willing to learn zombification magic and processes
Nah mate I'm prime material for Golgari NEETdom.

Probably Azorius, since it's closest to my real life.

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I've always been WG since I started playing Magic and Selesnya fits me perfectly.
Watchwolf is definitely one of my favorite cards, and I even played in a Pathfinder game set in Ravnica as a watchwolf Ranger with a elf cleric as a rider.
My character was an intelligent dire wolf with anxiety over having a shorter lifespan, which made the cleric feel guilty because of her long life span.
My character had a serious vendetta with the Rakdos because his previous rider was tortured to death and the watchwolf still has prominent scars from their burning chains.

>Keep in mind that dating outside your guild is strictly forbidden.

RAKDOS
A
K
D
O
S

>>46170541
Rakdos: where a leather-bound twink doing a bump of coke off your hard-on is a slow night.

>>46168715
Is it crazy that I think being Gruul sounds pretty comfy?

>>46168715
Guildless because I'm not a colossal faggot

>>46168715
Azorius. Keep the peons in line.

>>46169320
With trees growing out of their asses.

>>46169320
Enjoy your new age cult m8

>>46170686

>pretty comfy

You're literally murder-hobos. Comfy doesn't really factor into it unless you're sleeping in your victim's beds.

>>46171243
Yeah, but the freedom though.

>>46168715
Rakdos wouldn't forbid dating outside your guild. In fact, they'd probably demand you go out and date people forcefully.

>>46171165
>Not wanting to fuck a tree
>>46168715
Simic so I can live out my fetishes while everyone sees it as perfectly normal

Golgari. No doubt.

>>46171315
Rakdos would want you to have several waifus at once and maybe some husbandos

>>46169728
Shamans are nature mystics that get high and again fuck like rabbits, not demon skanks that will use you as a meat condom.

>>46169453
I d like a green of an Anon getting a qt lab assistant to help learn the age old question, is there such a thing as to much office sex?

>>46171293
Plus Shaman booty. Just gotta be man enough to be worth it with a bunch of classic adventures that went native style guild.

>>46168715
Boros Angle wings are mad cuddly, after you wash off the blood in the camp shower with her.

>>46169710
This desu. Hopefully become a shaman myself so that I don't have to exert myself too much.

>>46168745
Boros? More like Baras.

>>46172309
I don't get it.

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>>46172309
>You will never have sex with your angel commander

>>46172290
Being a Gruul shaman is as good as it gets on Ravnica as far as I'm concerned

>Chillaxin in nature 24/7
>Only people you have to answer to are the ones you willingly follow
>qt Gruul wife
>not a warrior so you won't be on the front line
>people respect you for your wisdom
>Other guilds think you're a savage but fuck them and their over-complicated lives
>occasionally have to get your hands bloody, but eh, it's Gruul

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>>46172095
Waifus come and go, but the party goes on forever.

>>46172435
Rakdos is the guild responsible for modern "art"

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>>46172435
I guess you could say its a Blast to be rakdos

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>>46172490

>>46172435
>party goes on forever
>posts a card about stopping the party.

Orsov would be full of pimps and whores, not as stabby as Rakdos mind you, but maybe a bit sleazier.

I'd pick Orzhov so i could live out my fantasies of being an aristocrat like the people in the Starless vn

>>46172460
You shut your whore mouth, Rakdos has nothing to do with that hipster shit.

>>46172739
Amen brother, now could you pass the strapon my demon ate my dick and I don't know when ill get it back?

>>46172739
It's the guild of artists, and entertainers. That includes Shakespeare and modern art. deal with it faggot.

Izzet, naturally.

Monday:
>So you're saying half my DNA is missing?
>Yup
>Wanna explain how that happened?
>Just as soon as we figure out HOW it happened.
>Should I be worried?
>Not really, we filled the gaps in with lightning.
>I love this guild

Tuesday:
>So are you all going to teach me magic?
>See... we WOULD but that sounds time consuming and boring. Why don't you flip that switch instead?
>And that'll teach me how to do magic...?
>It's not the LEAST probable thing that could happen...
>I love this guild

Thursday:
>Are we going to talk about this or what?
>Shhh... Keep quiet you fool?
>Wait, did no one tell him? Shit...
>You're the new guy, you go tell him!
>So you want ME, the not even magic guy, to go walk through that door and tell a dragon that you...
>WE...
>Sorry, that WE, literally lost Wednesday.
>Yes. Wait. No. Let's just hope it turns up.
>I love this guild

Friday:
>I don't mean to be a bother...
>Then don't.
>I mean, I really wouldn't... it's just that my room is on fire.
>You didn't make a fuss about it the last two times it happened. Won't last long here complaining about stuff like that...
>Yes, I am getting the impression that happens A LOT in this guild but it's just... the fire isn't really burning anything this time. And it specifically ASKED me to leave the room... so there's that...
>And?
>You know what? I'm starting to get the hang of this. I'll go get a bucket of water.
>Give 'em hell, kid
>I love this guild

Wednesday:
>And that, Mister Mizzet, is how I found Wednesday. Mister Mizzet? Niv? I'm just going to assume by all that laughing and the fact that I'm not very on fire right now that we're good. I'mma go now. Still love this guild though.

>>46172802
You think they can do that kind of shit while balls deep in a hog, snorting crack off a hookers ass?

>>46172802
You might say every Rakdos party is a reenactment of Hamlet if Clive Barker had written it.

No modern art though.

>>46169633
>Aurelia
>having any sense of Justice
Call me when the usurper is dead, Broros.

>>46172894
Honestly, someone like Agrus should lead Boros. The angels keep betraying the fuck out of each other.

>>46172952
It was one time! Razia was killed because she didn't expect to be caught in the path of a decamillenial-old-vampire

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>>46172816

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>>46172703
>not staying for the next presentation

>>46172952
Was there ever a competent angel in MTG?

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What guild has the best girls for bullying?

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Not even a question.

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>>46169633
>WR angels
>WB angels
>no WU angels
sphinxes suck, man

I wanted angel waifus to go with my filibuster niggas and based owl bro.

>>46170728
>Guildless because I'm a colossal edgelord
Fixed that for ya!

>>46171165
Trees can't escape.

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>>46173503
YES

>>46168715

Boros. I'll be a Bladesmith and forge the best blades for the legion.

>>46173745
boros best girl

>>46168715
Simic. I wanna make weird monsters and graft extra limbs onto myself.

>>46169320
golgari.
Fuck yeah, mushrooms.

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>>46172816

>>46172816
>Izzet
>caring about DNA
DNA doesn't explode, it's boring.

>>46173490
Selesnya? I think they might try to nurture and or cuddle you till you feel better. coincidently I want in with them.

>>46173745
Somebody post it.

>>46173575
They tried to split up iconics in ravnica so the guilds all felt different. Selesnya didn't get angels either.

>>46170528
How the fuck can watchwolf be your favorite card?

It's a vanilla 3/3 beatstick that does nothing.
How can anyone think, wow that sounds fun, this guy does nothing?

>>46169320
Friendly reminder that monogamy is prohibited in Selesnya, as monogamous couples are seen as excluding and thus toxic for the community.

>>46175583
Monogamy? What are you, straight?

>>46170541
This guy gets it. Which other guild would allow you to have constant drug fueled orgies all the time.

>>46175570
>puts opponent on a 7 turn clock
>protected from shock
>flavour
>simple effect, fair and balanced

the perfect NWO card

>>46175570
When he was printed a 3/3 for two with no drawbacks was unheard of. I can certainly see how someone who started playing at right about the time of the release of original Ravnica would have a nostalgic affection to Watchwolf even though those stats have become almost depressingly these days.

>>46176472

Yeah, he was a big cheap beater.

>>46173745
Azorius > Rakdos = Boros > Selesnya > Symic = Golgari > Orzhov > Dimir >>> Gruul

This way or no way

>>46176497
Izzet?

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>>46168715
Guildless, you order-scum.

>>46172816
>>So you're saying half my DNA is missing?
Simic spy?

>>46176497
I'd say between Symic and Orzhov

How strict are they on the whole two-color system?
Is that why there isn't anyone that's shard or wedge colors?

>>46172839
But that isn't all that the Rakdos are.

>>46176772
Guildless resistance, Krenko's mob, or Cult of Yore?

>>46176772
Didn't the boros/Gideon wreck your shit?
Why would you want to be guildless?

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Golgari.
Necrourgy and biourgy in the one place? Yes. Please.

Where else am I going to get a depressed skull familiar who I can name Boney?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldlCD7GR2JI

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Why don't you want money?

>>46174651
Not with THAT attitude!

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>>46177245
You mean >Why don't I want to have all my money sucked up by rich assholes and the government?
Dunno mate, probably something to do with the reason I don't live in America.

>>46174503
Mah nigga. Izzet also a cute.

Either a Selesnya drone or Golgari compost.

>>46168745
Mah nigga

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>>46168715
Dimir. Who wouldn't like to be a Renaissance Eversor assassin?
With extra qts included (Black Alley broker)

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>>46175570
I'm more into flavorful cards with cool art. I don't pick favorites based only on power.
>>46176472
This. I started playing the game around Time Spiral/Ravnica and I really enjoyed how efficient it was.
My next favorite card is Doran the Siege Tower, which is like an upgraded Watchwolf.

>>46177839
On the one hand I would love to be an Azorius, laying down law and order in troubled parts of Ravnica and doing my best to keep people safe. Cool outfits, awesome looking rune magic, and law wizards!!
On the other hand I know I would eventually grow frustrated at the slow speed the Azorius operate at. Maybe enough to abuse that to my advantage... Thus breaking the rules that I like.

>>46177839
I forgot to say that is some cool art.

>>46173490
kek, can we get this for the other guilds?

Well, I love bugs, mushrooms, skeletons and playing relatively good necromancer types. So I guess I'd go into the sewers and sign up to be a mage for the Golgari.

>>46168715
Azorius

>>46180157
Golgari aren't good.

Which one has all the artifact creatures?

>>46177245
crippled slut

>>46173745
Boros, Selesnya, and Azorius

Izzet is pretty cool as a guild though

>>46177245
i want to cum on her feet

>>46168715
Izzet, I can create my own perfect waifu.

>>46181931
Simic, I'll make a better waifu. Without Tesla coils.

>>46172331

Don't worry. You're not supposed to

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>>46182221
>he doesn't like the coils

>>46182326
Stop posting cheese pizza, anon.

In order of preference, Gruul, Simic, Izzet, Boros, Orzhov, Rakdos, Selesnya, Azorius, Golgari

>>46173745
I want to do lewd science with Izzet and Simic-chan

izzet
It's nothing but mad scientists, that means that the mads cancel each other out!
I could just make a weird waifu anyways

>>46175657
its mahogany, gotta think of the tree bitches.

>>46181323
Izzet probably, though if you want a robot fuckbot/assistant you would have to make it yourself or buy it off someone else with favors.

>>46183821
Acceptable. At least I don't have to move to Mirrordin.

Golgari ofcourse.

Anything else is an ill fitting for me.
>Comfy swampy home
>Miasma immunity
>Breed and sell giant worms for a living.
>Marry qt Gorgon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDlBHbf9C1U

>>46176497
>Being this wrong

OFFICIAL GUILD WAIFU TIER LIST COMING THROUGH

>Best girl tier
Boros
>High tier
Selesnya, Gruul, Simic
>Medium tier
Azorius, Izzet, Orzhov
>Would be high tier if i wasn't sure she'll rip my dick off and strangle me with it tier
Rakdos
>IT'S A TRAP tier
Dimir
>Jesus fuck are those worms ew tier
Golgari

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>>46177953
>On the other hand I know I would eventually grow frustrated at the slow speed the Azorius operate at. Maybe enough to abuse that to my advantage... Thus breaking the rules that I like.
Psst... Hey there, wanna some justice?

>>46168715
Izzet so I can blow myself the fuck up

I'd probably pick izzet. I hear that time travel shenanigans are all the rage these days.

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>>46168901
>not posting the better one

>>46168715
I'm UR so Izzet

Orzhov of course. Being an aristocrat is fun

>>46184367
gay

>>46176772
Guildless are the niggers of Ravnica.

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>>46172816
10/10
But there is a god damned Simic spy in your guild, better watch out.

>>46184126
Boros aren't law.
They're just pointless military styled aggression with a thin veneer of justice....

>>46168715
I'd like to be Izzet, as crazy machines and far-out info is my jam, but in all truth I'd be Rakdos born and raised.

>>46184525
You probably need to be filthy rich before you join the guild, otherwise you'll just be one of their slaves.

>>46186345
They used to be. But then Aurelia took over.

>>46186422
Even being a slave among the orzhov means you've got money beyond most men. Probably also means that if you are ambitious enough you could ascend past that status.

>>46186487
maybe things are different in the book but they still came off that way from the RtR splat wizards put out. Just that they're more direct because she's not as aloof as the previous leaders.

>>46168764
isn't that simic?

>>46186502
>slave
>money
wat

>>46186632
In original Ravnica they were the police force, Razia was very insistent that they follow the law as close as the case would let them, because their unbreakable handcuffs only work if the offender broke a law of the guildpact.
In RtR the guild leader at the end of original Ravnica Feather, was arrested for removing the bindings on her wings to save the guildpact though the last part was not included in the case against her. So Aurelia takes over and make the Boros into a military with no other army to fight, so they uphold the law very differently and much more violently.

>>46186765
>Orzhov
It just makes more sense to me if they include a way for you to "buy" back your freedom by doing really dangerous shit. Slavery just doesn't seem very White to me personally.

>>46168715
>Keep in mind that dating outside your guild is strictly forbidden.
Then which guild has the best lolis?

>>46187682
Why don't you talk to the Boros about that? I'm sure they'd love to hear about your attraction to children.

>>46187790
I'm pretty certain every guild that isn't Rakdos would kick the shit out of someone who diddles kids.

>>46187904
>kids
But I only like pubescent lolis. And there would be no "diddling" only consensual love making if the loli approves.

>>46186632
>>46186915
Basically Boros is what happens if you make an entire army out of maverick cops from 80s shows.

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>>46187946
Really now?

>>46187946
So you mean small, flat chested women
Selesnya, Gruul, Rakdos, and Dimir are your best bets

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>>46188020
>Gruul
>Small

>>46188020
>Dimir
>women

>>46188020
If you consider ~12 year olds women, then yes.

>>46188276
CALL THE WOJEK

>>46187992
Eh their militaristic style still doesn't appeal to me. Gonna have to stick with the Azorius.

>>46168715
Rakdos or Gruul, hands down.

The ability to be in a constant state of rioting appeals to me.

I feel like a lot of people misunderstand what the Rakdos are about.

>>46187127
>Slavery just doesn't seem very White to me personally.
Careful, you'll summon a tumblr

>>46182326

That baby is ripped.

>>46188386
I don't know what that is.

>>46168715
Dimir, they've got decent angles for promotion if you're smart and loyal. Also they don't exist and I am totally a member of whichever guild's women catch my interest. With maybe Dimir chick on the side.

Why join a guild on Ravnica when you can join one on Dominaria?

>>46168715
Izzet if I feel adventurous, Simic if I feel "adventurous", Selesnya otherwise.

>>46189201
If we're going for other worlds Believers of the Source all the way. I mean sure they're in a different product but it's by the same company and I wouldn't be at all surprised to see an official Planescape magic set when WotC runs out of ideas. Also the Godsmen are just my preferred fantasy faction in general, though Bleak Cabal manages second place.

>>46189307
Keep it in mtg planes there anon.

>>46172816

Man now I need the other guilds!

>>46175583
...so literally I get to fuck more bitches? okay.

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>>46172816
You did good and you should feel good.

Well my favorite decks are Izzet and Boros. However, I'm not strong enough (or insane enough) to be Boros, or smart enough (or insane enough) to be in the Izzet League. Maybe I can be some nobody low-ranking guy that's part of their joint Warmind Project. Dabble a little Blue here, a little White there, but ultimately be Red.

>>46187992

Oooh tempting.

>>46189467
Don't worry, the Izzet are always recruiting for people with minimal amazing qualities. They call them test subjects. If you're lucky you'll survive enough that you're useful as a courier, which notably has the boon that it's against the Guildpact to assault you. If you're really lucky you'll be the successful subject of an intelligence booster experiment, and get brought on as an assistant, with the possibility of Firemind if you play your cards right.

>>46189567
>>46189467
Hey now, the Simic might actually make you into something cool!

>>46189467
R/W/B
In Ravnica? Heresy you can only be two colors.

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>>46188386
>>46187904
To be honest about half of the guilds in Ravnica would have a severely low Age of Consent.

>>46189567

Oh shit, sold! I can be pretty funny sometimes so maybe the electromancers will double check their experiments before flipping the switch!

>>46172816
Monday:
>I have infiltrated the ranks of the Boros. It seems they are using a strange orb of considerable power to control their barriers. I will set about a plan to steal it to keep House Dimir great.

Tuesday:
>The Boros scum have captured me in my attempt to steal the orb. Their defenses on this side of the citadel are too strong to penetrate. I will be executed in the morning. I will serve you in a new life.

Thursday:
>I managed to escape from the Boros dungeon, somehow. There seems to be quote the commotion. I will take advantage of the mess, and take the orb as I planned.

Friday:
>I have not only stolen the orb, but also managed to steal plenty of order secrets. When I return, I shall be a hero of House Dimir, and we shall continue to rule over the guilds with a shadow's fist!

Wednesday:
>Lord Lazav, we had a spy in the Boros citadel, and it appears he was captured and executed.

>>46189982
pretty terrible desu

>>46190915
I liked it

>>46187904
Orzhov would just charge you for indulgence (if that's what it's called in English).

>>46190966
outside of using the last story's ending to make a decent joke it was bland and lacking in charm

>>46179199
Do the other guilds have huge dork girls of the caliber of Teysa as prominent members?

>>46191076
Vraska was probably one of those edgy loner chicks who couldn't make any friends among the other gorgans so she behaved extra chuuni around humans to feel important.

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>>46168715
>Keep in mind that dating outside your guild is strictly forbidden.
>ywn be an unhinged Izzet CSI with a qt Boros angel gf on perimeter duty

>>46191267
Who else?

>>46188704
Burn. Bleed. Enjoy.

What's so hard to understand?

>>46192210
Izolda is clearly daddy's little monster, except daddy was too dense a motherfucker to ever notice so her need to be seen as bad and get that spanking she craved went unfulfilled.

"Ha! I chained our neighbors up and set fire to them!"

"Ssssmells like bacon! Who's up for hitting Kelso's bar and grill?"

"Daaaaad!"


:My teacher threatened to flunked me so I seduced him for higher grades, blackmailed him for all his money, then sold his ass to a demon down on 4th street!"

"Surprised you aren't valedictorian with that kind of get-go!"

"Daaaad!"

"I'm drinking while underage and running with scissors!"

"Come say hi to our new neighbors honey! They're putting in a pool."

"Daaaad..."

>>46188704
Everyone knows what they're about, it's you autists who don't get that anons focus on the extreme aspects because it's hilarious.

>>46192648
kek, who from the Boros?

>>46192648
Emmara Tandris was that really popular, beautiful, seemingly perfect student who was top of her class and beloved by all.

But this made her really intimidating to all the other students and no one ever approached her.

She joined Selesnya for the free love and loxodon orgies.

>>46192821
Aurelia was your typical jock, save that she liked to get really close to her team mates. Like creepy close.

She would manage their training, diets, social interactions and hygiene to ensure top performance. She also had a mandatory group stress relief program.

Outside of this she craved a soul mate, that one person who really "gets her" but her dedication to the team lead to every relationship falling through.

As she grew older and with her glory days behind her she mellowed out, but that desire to be close to her comrades never faded. She maintains strong bonds to her closest co-guildies through ritual sparring that rarely remains chaste.

>>46193153
What about Razia?

>>46192648
Izolda was so great, a shame she got eaten by the other cunts and not her daddy.

>>46169710
exactly these things. plus hang out with a two headed freak that makes the magic not happen.

>>46193153
Lavinia was the nerdy girl who strives to know everything and was a member of the public morels enforcement comity, where she tallied up a fearsome reputation as a tireless and tenacious enforcer of decency at the school.

Until one day a delinquent taunted her by saying that she didn't know a damn thing about the darker underbelly of the school.

To rectify this she forced one of the more well known, if more harmless delinquents to be her pretend boyfriend as a way of getting into the criminal elements of the school. She got a makeover to look all thug 'n shieet as well.

By the end of the semester she had racked up 63 arrests, 1200 dollars in damage to the school property, 200 inappropriately ecchi moments, 300 heart warming moments where she came to better understand her 'boyfriend' and that other students, and almost lost her sash.

Considering the investigation finished she arrested her fake boyfriend and broke up with him.

>>46193212
She was that quiet religious girl who did a lot of comity work, school fundraisers, and charity events.

Often bullied she bore it with a smile and made no fuss, rather she tried to reach out to them and help them change their ways.

Until one day her bullies almost seriously injured another student.

Tales are still told about how quiet little Razia went full psycho bitch and stuffed all four of those thugs into one locker, screaming about foul hearted sickos and their twisted need to hurt others.

For crippling four other students she was kicked out of school and her parents sent her to military school, fearing that "Their daughter would turn into some sort of Rakdos ruffian."

She found an outlet for her newfound rage at the academy, quickly rising in the ranks until she was hailed as the greatest student to ever graduate.

She had a fanclub of students who hailed her as their "Iron Maiden of Justice", much to chagrin. Much more frustrating was how much they liked her punishing attention.

>>46173503
Wait do we have more art involving ravnicawaifus now?

>>46193521
Crix was that brown noser teachers pet who was likely very smart, but had such low confidence that the only friends she had were the people who used her as and errand girl and the science teacher who she adored helping in the lab. She also had a huge and obvious crush on him. Rumors circulated that her good grades were from screwing him.

>>46193746
Stereotypically ugly with huge fucking glasses, bad hair and braces; on top of being a fucking goblin?

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>>46193746
Yaraghiya was kuudere as fuck and had little of not happen in highschool. She focus on her school work and avoided all club activities.

This change din her final year where, after a teacher notes that she would probably have better grade if she tried to live a little, maybe find herself a boyfriend.

She used the schools medical records to find the boy with the biggest dick, but was still somewhat of a pushover, blackmailed him with some falsified heath reports, then spent every waking moment not spent on schoolwork getting screwed silly. They eventually broke up because the boy, with his newfound swagger from getting laid non-stop, attracted the attention of a cute Orzhof girl and they fell madly in love. Yaraghiya let them go peacful[y, but not before extracting a semen sample in case she should ever want to knock herself up or just clone him./spoiler]

>>46193985
Atleast she had a nice rack and eventually grew out of it.

>>46194090
So that's all of the guilds except Dimir and Gruul, cause neither have named girls in them.

>>46194133
It'd be neat if they were all friends after school, and they play the Ravnican equivalent of MtG to pass the time

>>46168901
>>46184367
What makes Golgari full of NEETs? Is it because Necromancy can eventually lead to a socialist utopia where hard labor can safely be phased out of society?

>>46194302
>smells bad
>ugly
>lives in dank, dark lairs
>live in their own filth
>keep no company but the rats and roaches
>hatred, or at least a distaste, of the surface dwelling "normies"

>>46194302
They tend towards being selfsufficient and independent.

>>46194302
Imagine reverse pension. You enjoy fruits of your labor now and will work it off after you die.

>>46172816
Wow, glad people liked this. I sorta figured the thread died after this.

And yeah... I do see the high likelihood of a Simic spy in our midst. Figure I'll just wait for them to come back for the other half of my DNA and see how they like trying to siphon lightning out of my veins (we now know from experience that this is a bad idea. That lightning likes it's new home and it does NOT want to budge)

>>46189350
Wish I could help but I don't think I can channel the other guilds well enough.

bumping for huge dorks

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On this topic, are these all the RTR lands, or are some of the originals reprinted in that set as well?

I only have super fond memories of a few islands and forests here and there, so it's not an enormous issue, but still.

>>46168715
Orzhov.

>Implying you wouldn't want that RG booty

>>46177245
I don't want money, I want access to her keyhole.

>>46181931

Doesn't Orzhov actually let you buy their angels as fucktoys?

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I belong to no one.

>>46198169
>get a load of this faggot

Probably Selesnya since I like trees and nature and shit.
What would be the downsides?

>>46198254
Communism, mind-melding, brainwashing, that sort of thing.

>>46198254
You would be a shitty fucking hippy communist.

>>46177203
>read this hours later
The creature isn't the skull. It's the tendrils moving it around.

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The Simic. Why go through all the hassle of finding a girlfriend when I can just MAKE ONE who fits all my expectations and fetishes?

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>>46168715
The only reasonable fucking guild.

>>46199372
Izzet are many things.
"Reasonable" is not one of them.

>>46199384
Fuck you and your opinions. I'm going to vaporize thoae Selesnyan sleezefucks, shit on it, then make a weird.
That's reasonable enough.

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>>46199288
>find one
>not buy one

You could be fucking pic related.

>>46199552
>No tentacles, slimy parts or bulbous cysts
>Silly scythe, not venom-spewing apparatus
>Not glued to a frog and/or lizard
>Human face
Shit waifu desu senpai

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>>46199425
But anon, you don't need silly robe, lightning coil or science to do that.
You just have to embrace the fun.

>>46199625
It's not about a silly robe. It's about passion. I want to create... Something. And don't talk shit about my coils.

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Simic all day erryday.

Also has this been archived yet?

>>46199288
Are the Simic okay with dicking your own experiments? For research purposes.

>>46200909
How else would you know if your artificially created womb was functioning properly?

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>>46200968
>sex with purpose of procreation
anon...

>>46200968
L E W D
E
W
D

>>46200968
With lots and lots of cytoplast.

>>46168715
Orzhov. Get all the money, fuck all the angels.

>>46198281
>>46198756
Sounds awesome to me, a shitty hippy commie

>>46200909
The Simic have even less sense of right and wrong than the Izzet do, which is pretty fucking low to begin with. I'm sure they consider anyone who HASN'T dicked one of their own experiments hopelessly prude.

>>46202013
But they're brainwashed shitty hippy commies. It's all the downsides of shitty hippy communism without the freedom

I've gotta go with Izzet.
I wouldn't even mind hanging out with the Goblins when I was just starting out.

>>46202084
If they actually encourage you to POPULATE with as many Selesnya qts as physically possible then that's a pretty good upside.

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>>46199595
>best selection of wizard husbandos
>electric slimes for all your wet and sticky desires
>guild leader is an insane, ten-thousand year old NEET dragon with a neckbeard, with a house made of mirrors so he can get hard to himself at all times
>said NEET is linked to every member of the guild through their minds, and is privie to your dirty thoughts at any given moment

Izzet is clearly the best choice for degeneracy and lewd experimentation, but I'd be down for a freaky three-color tag team any day, my fellow scientist.

>>46202392
Mistakes don't matter, only results
Love making can be as sloppy as you like, so long as it happens

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Only the purest and truest waifus allowed.

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>>46175503
I'm surprised no one posted it earlier.

All you people talking about how you're gonna clean the streets or turn into slime frog fusions.

I'm just gonna stay nice and safe in my Dimir library.

>>46202013
SHITTY
FUCKING
HIPPY
COMMUNISTS

>>46202501
>tfw can't choose between Tanith and Liz
>take both for MFF threesomes

>>46202412
http://youtu.be/cqkwykA4iFw

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>>46201018
>>46201028

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>>46202501
>Dimir
>Dark secret is not being a trap
c'mon, one job...
also, wouldn't cosplay be more of a Dimir thing than Izzet? I figured Izzet would be way into piercings and electrocution.

>>46168715
Golgari. I like bugs. She'll probably like bugs too. She might even be a bug. Win for everyone.

>>46202604
Picturing Niv groovin and seducin to this gave me fits

>>46202713
L E W D
E L D W
W D L E
D W E L

RAKDOS BABY

TIME TO MAKE SOME ORIFICES DO THINGS THEY REALLY WEREN'T MEANT TO DO

>>46202501
>Nuke in the attic
>a secret
Nigga, please, it's a prerequisite for even joining the Izzet.

Also it's probably only me, but i prefer textless version more.

>>46202794
Heck, the Izzet were responsible for creating a bomb that effectively cast Damnation. Having a nuke in your attic is bragging rights among them.

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>>46202084
You call it brainwashing, I call it magically induced indoctrination and enriching.
Various Guilds and Guildless turn to Selesnya for spiritual guidance in a far healthier way than what the Orzhov use to tend to their peoples anxieties.
People are still happy even without all them freedoms, but what mechanics of Selesnya cards suggest a lack of freedom?
Orzhov is considered by far the most capitalistic and economically successful Guild in Ravnica, but they are also the least free. They routinely lock people in eternal servitude even after death.
On the other hand, Selesnya as a whole enjoys the advantages as being the most ecologically sound Guild in the city as well as using a lot of elementals as cheap laborers.
>>46202551
The Selesnya are a guild of bourgeois hippies while the Golgari are a guild of proletariat with a few powerful lords keeping them down. The Selesnya Conclave is basically the mythical "good communism" while Golgari function of the cruel reality of communism. Socialist policies are still useful to balance capitalist policies as well for neither are actually indicative to whether society will become more or less fascist.
Selesnya works because of trust and strength in numbers and acceptance of diverse abilities among many intelligent races.

>>46202501
Is there anyone here who'd choose Rakdos? Even as someone who's too kinky for most of the other guildfus, I don't see the appeal.

Also, why is Azorius so obsessed with the pooper? Is is some kind of play on "anal retentive?"

>>46197280
I think one of each basic is reused art from the original block.

>>46204063

Me

>>46204093
That's what I was hoping for. I'll go digging. Hopefully it's more Stephen Martineire prints.

>>46199288
>Make
That's basically boning your daughter.

Finding (or "finding") someone with the right personality, and giving the best body in the world? That's romance.

>>46205712
That's the Simic spirit!

So let's flip this shit, what guild would you least likely be a part of.

>>46203027
We get it, you voted for Cuck Sanders.

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>>46208079
Sorry for not voting against my interests like a good little sheep.

>>46207962

Rakdos. I like sleeping in. And still being alive.

>>46208407

>Implying that having your wealth "redistributed" is in your best interests

>>46208697
It's not my wealth that needs redistributing dingus. But if someone wants to borrow a book that's cool with me.

>>46207962
Dimir. I prefer to tell the truth and lying makes me feel bad.

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>>46205712
>That's basically boning your daughter.
As long as she's into it, there's nothing wrong with that

>>46209108
Keep up the good work pally-bro.

>>46168715
Izzet.
You have both SCIENCE, BITCH! and MAGIC, BITCH!

>>46208079
>>46208407
>You call it brainwashing, I call it magically induced indoctrination and enriching
Hahahaha wow

>>46210929
And you don't have to explain either.

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>>46168901
>>46184367
Shameful, both of you.

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Gruul most likely, but only if there's a chance I get to be strong as fuck and not be outclassed by the non-humans.

>>46214691
>but I've been told
What I've been told*

I get to be the people person part if Boros or else a mindless Selesnya cultist.

>>46204191
>>46204093
>>46197280
Ravnica seriously has the best land art. I wish it'd gone full-art instead of Zendikar.

How come no other plane has buildings as part of their basic lands?

Selesnya. There's no guild without a bad side to it, so i'd rather associate with the guys who shared my values the most closely. That and the authors seem to be pushing the 'SEE HOW WHITE/GREEN CAN BE BAAAD GUYS!!!!' thing with them so hard that I feel prone towards liking them out of stubbornness.

I'd be pretty satisfied if i ended up in azorius or the boros legion, too, given that white mana seems the jive with me the best. Fuck orzhov, though.

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I would pick jund. fuck ravnica fuck tarkir

Selesnya

>>46215846
>outclassed by the non-humans
If you ever feel like you need some help with that, Simic will be glad to help, free of charge!*

*Not responsible for any side effects or results of other experiments we try on you when you're knocked out

>>46168715
Dimir easy

>>46168715
House Dimir.

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>>46168901 >>46168948 >>46184367 >>46194302 >>46214691

After looking through my cards, this is what I ended up with. NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

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>>46221497
That looks like shit. I cleaned it up.
Arrows are what beats what.
Give up on burning down forests.
Mana-Burn was removed from tournaments.
Green hybrids win by default .
Hippies rarely ever get lucky.
That is why they are free.

>>46172839
The guilds exist in layers.
Rakdos is the entertainment of the entire plane, from the animu industry imported from kamigawa to the crazy parties.
Rakdos is Hollywood and Vegas to the seediest strip club, all at the same time.

>>46187127
This anon is right, there was even a story about it during RtR block about this dude basically feeding his asshole friend that was about to get both of them killed to Cryptghast for the higher ups. They dropped half his "membership fee" right there

>>46168715

Mmmm... I'm starting to note that most excellent guilds are in the middle area...

Tempted to pick Orzhov because hot grills and chance of fugging in spirit form after death, but let's be smart about this:

>Izzet is cool, but you can blow yourself up pretty easily, or be blasted to bits by goblin colleague. Pimpest master though.
>Orzhov will surely ask for your soul as you join, maybe a good idea for insurance, then again maybe not. Also given how you can achieve everything by jewing your way to the top, if I want a cute creepy lady I surely would be able to buy a special license that vaults over this only guild date prohibition (at the price of a small house or something), so it's ok.
>Boros appeals to my moralfagging and martial side, however, life expectancy seems awfully low, and I wouldn't like the azorius shitting on me everytime there is collateral damage. If I want an angel GF maybe I can impress her latter in life, and jump the prohibitions by doing a special service for the city.
>Golgari seems cool because cute dark elf butt, monstergirls and unlimited munchies, but on the other hand it's all it has going for it, no serious promotions, no chance of a decent job, and every girl you want to fuck with is probably thousands of years old, vastly OP in comparison to you and has a short temper.

Overall, Simic looks like the most attractive choice:

>You can still have bros in Izzet if you play your cards right
>You have the highest chance of achieving immortality without bullshit attached. It's still a low chance but with a think tank of good fellas besides you (just choose the most sane amongst them) you'll probably be alright.
>You can potentially make your own waifu from scratch, which will be always understated no matter what the other guilds offer, moreso with the immortality option. You have all the time you need in order to learn the science and get the resources to do so.
>Get bros, do research, get godmode, fuck bitches.

>>46168715
Probably Boros

A little new ro Magic, though. What's the representation of each color at their best and worsr?

>>46225334

There are a number of articles on color philosophy if you dig through the MtG site that will help, but here's a brief breakdown.

White emphasizes order, community, and healing, and typically tries to win through lots of small creatures working together and/or locking down or removing opponent's cards. White can be a unifying force that brings folks together in the name of THE LAW, or can take it too far into military dictatorships, straight up mob mentality, or order for order's sake without thinking through the consequences.

Blue emphasizes planning, control, and manipulation, and typically wins through sheer advantage of options through drawing, manipulating or preventing opponents cards through counters and redirection, and creatures that are hard to block or otherwise deal with. At best they are brilliant masters of gaining the upper hand, and at worst are manipulative, conniving, and self-obsessed.

Cot'd

>>46225719

Black deals with death and decay, and wins through direct destruction of opponent's cards and sacrificing things for a greater benefit (your own life or cards, for example). At best they are powerful and can prevent threats from harming them or their allies, and at worst they are utterly self-serving and ruthless.

Red deals with destructive energy, chaos, and raw emotion, and wins by disrupting opponent's strategies in random ways (coin flips, retargeting, etc.) or, far more often, blowing them to kingdom come. At best they are swift, passionate, and efficiently direct, at worst they are volatile and wantonly destructive.

Green is the color of growth and harmony with nature, and wins through big creatures and having resource improvement or recycling. At best they are tough, communal masters of creature combat, and at worst they're inflexible and big lunkheads with nothing but varying degrees of fat.

There are exceptions to all of this, and I'm sure others have more to add, but that's the very very basic breakdown off the top of my head.

Wow, wizards actually ripped of divergent for a magic setting?

>>46225827
2/10, made me reply.

>>46225827
The fuck's a divergent?

>>46225892

Standard teen literature.

>IN THE FUTURE WHERE THINGS ARE BASICALLY THE SAME BUT THERE IS A PLOT DEVICE IN EVERY HOUSEHOLD.

>TEENS ARE ALL THE SAME AND NOT RADICAL AT ALL.

>BUT ONE VERY ATTRACTIVE TEEN IS DIFFERENT - NOBODY UNDERSTANDS THEM.

>THEY THREATEN THE SYSTEM WITH THEIR UNIQUENESS AND HOT BODY.

>THIS IS THE STORY HOW THEIR BEING DIFFERENT WILL UNITE MANY OTHER TEENS - WHO ARE ALSO DIFFERENT BUT SLIGHTLY LESS HOT - TOGETHER.

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>>46223705
>however, life expectancy seems awfully low
I dunno, they got good healthcare.