What is the comfiest place you can hope to be stationed

Planetary defense on a wealthy World in the middle of the human territory.

MP in some recreation district.

>>45613759
Do well enough and you get to BLAM people no questions asked.

>>45613689
Isn't that what the Planetary Defense Force is for?

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>>45613600
There is no such thing as comfy in 40k, just misery, filth and masturbation
last person that got comfy also got shot

>>45613600
non-front lines munitorum depot security. Which is why Cain worked so hard to be continually stationed there before being transferred to an artillery regiment.

Some paradise world in a sector close to Terra, probably.

>>45613600
Cadia, the timeline will never advance, the only way you can actually die is to be sent somewhere else

>>45613600
Terra and try not to be a good enough guardsman they pick you up and make you an Inquisitorial stormtrooper

>>45614602
>what is the 13th black crusade
>not knowing even basic fluff
You belong in /40kg/

>>45613600
Basilisk crew my nigguh.

>>45613600
As close to Terra as possible. Be a bad soldier, so you only get enlisted in the PDF of some paradise or shrine world

>>45614785
Be a bad soldier so you get BLAMMED by the commissariat real quick
>FTFY

>>45614007
Of course if things are to quiete you never get the opportunity to prove yourself enough for BLAMING rights.

>>45614812
Be an average soldier, not better than the rest, but also not worse.

>>45614007
With that, your chance of being fragged by your own men go up exponentially

>>45614894
some things didn't change even in 40th millennium
>never be first, never be last, and never ever volunteer for anything!

>>45614894
The comisionerknows your not doing your best anon.

Fuck he probably knows you better then you know yourself.

Garrison on a pleasure world.

Preferably doing routine 8 hour patrols through the red-light district.

>>45613600
Ultramar Planetary Defense Force

>>45613600
Probably somewhere in Segmentum Pacificus, voted most likely to be forgotten about Segmentum for 10 000 years in a row. Nothing ever seems to happen there. When was the last time you heard the place mentiond+ Did you even remember there was a Segmentum Pacificus? I sure as hell didn't.
Even the Ultima Segmentum, aka. the ass-end of nowhere, gets more action because the Tau and the Tyranids are there.

>>45615244
Well, it -is- called Pacificus, aka Peaceful.

>>45615244
>Segmentum Pacificus
>What are the Sabbat Crusades
Nice try, alpharius. Tryin to trick unsuspecting guardsmen like that

>>45615244
>Nothing ever seems to happen there
Wasn't that where the night of 1000 rebellions took place and the Imperium lost most of the segmentum?

>>45614620
>Holy Terra
>comfy
too many ceremonies, tiresome guard duties, strict drill and discipline - some backwater planet in quiet system far away from Munitorum would be better.

AT THE FUCKIN BLOWJOB PARTY WWWUUUUHHH!

>>45613600
Guard doesn't really have comfy deployments since they are actively deployed meaning they are always sent somewhere as a reaction, either to defend an area under attack or to attack an enemy position. Guardsmen don't get sent to some world and told "sit here until something happens" if they are sent to a planet the planet is either under attack or they are attacking the planet.

Now PDFs can have comfy deployments, I imagine being a PDF on a paradise/pleasure world would be pretty comfy.

>>45614785


Servitor duty.

HURAWURAHURWUR!

>>45615468
At least there's nothing to complain about being a servitor.

>>45615449
Downside is that the personel there would be horribly inadequTe for any kind of sudden crisis like Deldar raiding party.

>>45615449

I cant remember the exact details but I seem to recall reading one of Last Chancers books where Kage (or was it someone else) describes his time in the Guard. Some kind of defensive deployment on a primitive world that lasted years. The natives apperantly worshipped the Guardsmen as gods and offered their daughters for boots or a single lasrifle. Sounds pretty comfy. Granted I could be remembering it wrong.

>>45615506
after the lobotomy that is

>>45615649
As i said, nothing to complain after you're a servitor.

Securing shacks full of bitches on Fenris with Leman Russ.

>>45615799
If you're okay with being a furry.

>>45615531

There's a lot you could do as a basic grunt on a primitive world. Conquer the world for the Imperium by scaring the locals into submission with your flashlight rifle and you'll probably be given the world as a hereditary fief.

In the rack furthest from the entrance to the barracks so commissars can't see you napping when they pass by.

>>45613600
Artillery battalion

>>45615808

The Space Wolves are meant to genuinely care about the people under their care. Individual Space Wolves can serve as chieftains and guides in villages on Fenris for decades at a time. Considering the Space Wolves are based on the Vikings, it would interesting to know of they can in fact have children. I remember reading an article before that said that since the Space Marines genetic modifications are introduced via gene seed, any children they have would be normal humans. A Space Marine's base genome isn't altered during their creation, their enhancements are based entirely on their artificial organs and implants.

>>45615244
Honestly more people seem to forget tempestus

>>45615910
B-but...! I just wanted to make a cheap furry joke!

The viking base seems to be long gone, instead it's more like "everything is wolf!"

>>45615799
Fenris is a shitty place to live though, seeing as it's a Death World.

>>45615995

I'll take my chances, considering that if anything bad happens, there is an entire chapter of Space Margarines located in orbit.

Now I want to greentext about a PDF soldier sitting in the fields of a lonely agri world.

>>45615222
Actually a terrible idea as Ultramar calls up its PDF for support/volunteer work with the Guard all the time. So, you'll be a Guardsman, just not with a Commissar but a faux Cato-Sicarius.

>>45616069
But you could end up having THE BEST Captain of all time somewhere near to you. That must be worth something.

>>45616016
Except they aren't going to save your ass during a blizzard or volcanic cataclysm. Fenris is far from the comfiest world. It's a pretty shitty place overall.

>>45613600
Catachan. As long as you yourself are a Catachan.

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>>45616818

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>>45616060
>be the best fighter in my PDF unit
>promoted to the Guard
>fuckyeah.jpg
>my regiment is stationed as a rapid response in case any planet in sub-sector gets invaded
>none was attacked since 38M
>everybody is faithful
>not even Chaos care
>for nearly two years even Commissar didn't BLAM anybody
>others are valiantly dying for Emperor
>I'm stuck here, enjoying sunshine, fucking farmers daughters and patrolling around potato fields
>tfw I will never stand proudly before The Golden Throne

Ceremonial guard for some high ranking ecclesiarch of aristocrat.

>>45616016
Space Wolves don't care about the people on their world as a individuals if they aren't from their tribe.

Russ instructed that the tribes should always be at war amongst each other to weed out the weak and unworthy and the Space Wolves make no effort to stop this.

If you get into trouble on Fenris they are obligated not to help you.

>>45617462
If you were obedient and did everything asked of you then you have nothing to be ashamed of before the throne.

Somewhere, someone in the chain of command was mismanaging their resources and they do have questions to answer.

You follow orders. It's not your fault your orders were stupid.

>>45617589
Besides, if you did something different than what was ordered, you'd probably get BLAMM'd.

>>45613600
Somewhere you can peacefully and easily defect to the Tau.

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>>45617739
>betraying mankind itself to vile xenos
The God-Emperor would be so disappointed in you.

>>45617462
> be me
> Whiteshield deployed on freshly colonized agri-world
> we are supposed to guard the farms and pastures of the settlers
> actively encuraged to settle down over time if the situation is calm to increase the reproducing population
> situation has been calm for three generations
> once every year the farm-festival comes
> we pray to the Emperor, thank him for the great land he has given us, and then the ships come and take the crops
> in the following night everyone dances and has a good time
> stand guard on one of the hills
> look down into the landing zone, everyone us having fun ans drinking ammasec, old ones have already gone to their homes, only the young are still awake
> see sweet Carolina sitting in the grass a little bit off the fire
> long blonde hair, as if the wheat decided to bless her head
> skin as white as a mid day cloud
> the perfect smile that just makes you feel very warm whenever you see it
> and eyes that make you knees become yello
> wouldn't need a waifu if I had her...
> she looks sad, doesn't talk to anyone
> want to go down there and see if she is alright, can't because orders
> look the other way, others are cheerfull, dancing and drinking
> look back to the spot where I just saw her
> she is gone
> maybe she went home, or one of the farmer boys talked her up
> feel very sad, open a bottle of amasec I had saved
> half way through, hear noise behi d me on the dark side of the hill
> grab rifle, panik, no voxcaster
> we had reports of ork spores just a few months ago, flamer was supposed to take care of that
> another noise, behind me
> turn around, ready to fire
> it's Carolina, holding a crown of flowers
> wanted to give it to me, as a way to say thanks for keeping us safe
> take off helmet, put on crown
> "it's cold, anon. Why don't you come down to the fire?"
> explain that I can't, got my orders
> "well, I will keep you company then."
> spend night with her on the hill
> marry her soon after

>>45614620
how many zealous inquisitors do you think are on terra every day looking for heresy?

if you don't wipe your ass properly you'll be BLAMMED on the spot

>>45618878
>married her
>had many children
>all of them died horribly off-planet against the foes of the Emperor
>life is finally great

Six feet under the ground

>>45613600
Nurgle's garden.

Being sent to an agri world thanks to an administrative error.
>literally the only guard on the planet
>also highest ranking representative and supreme authority of the Emperor cos its an agri world
>literally no one but you and an entire planet of farmer's daughters

>>45613600
Sigmaron.

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>>45613600
What manner of queestion is this, Guardsman? Clearly the most comfortable place for a Guardsman is in the thick of battle against the enemies of the Imperium! As you give your all in defense of the Imperium and Mankind itself, you can take comfort in the knowledge that the Immortal Emperor Himself smiles down on you and has prepared a place for you next to His throne. What greater comfort can there be than knowing that your life was spend in the service of your God-Emperor for the preservation of Mankind?

>>45616928
>imperial navy
> what? The network is out... Oh fuck! Warp daemons!

>>45619041
> know that my sons died to save others
> know that the Emperor will smile upon us when we stand before the throne
> work on the farms will my hands bleed, knowing that every acre of land I plow, the Emperor has giftet to me personally
I feel no grief, I feel proud of my work and my seed. I can die as a smiling man.

>>45615204
Pleasure worlds seem like a horrible idea when there is literally a god waiting to corrupt you along those exact lines.

>>45613600
Behind the barrel of a Basilisk, Deathstrike, or other sufficiently long-ranged artillery piece.

Preferably with a bunch of other ass-clowns out in front of it, whom the enemy will have to get through to get to you.

Also, why the fuck is Captcha giving me skull-coffee?!

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>>45619711
>choosing the first spot to be hit by enemy commandos/saboteurs
The comfiest place you could possibly hope to be stationed at as a guardsmen would be in the loving embrace of an Ultramarine. Preferably Marneus Calgar.

>>45613600
A sandbag.

>>45615370
>backwater
>far from support
>tyranids and dark eldar

Have fun

>>45619742
Yes, it would be the first spot hit. But they would hit it with enough firepower to take out the artillery. That should mean a quick death for anyone stationed there if they manage to get close.

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>>45616928
its funny that this is a more correct version since normally that last panel is the air force and not the navy. us air force has a habit of following the army around so they end up in shitty deserts and shit whereas the navy is always chilling on the ship no matter where they go

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>>45613600
I ran an Only War game and the players rolled up a Highborn regiment, so pretty much every posting was a comfy posting. Sure, occasionally they'd have to mount up and go kill the enemies of the Emperor, but when they weren't on the front lines - which was fairly often since they were a fast attack cavalry unit and usually held in reserve unless there was a breakthrough or special mission - then they spend pretty lengthy periods of time in the wealthy districts of whatever world they were stationed on, rubbing elbows with the nobility of said world.

Hell, half the campaign was the wheeling and dealing of the Imperium's elite and all the intrigue that would bring.

>>45621498
Yes, but the Air Force only shows up for real once the chow halls are built and the cable doesn't suck.

I still remember when some Air Force mechanics came out to our COP to fix some shit in one of our towers and they baffled that we had to sit there staring at northing for six hours at a time.

>>45621595
Picture made my dick tingle. Mind telling about your reg?

>>45621618
but the navy sails around with the chow hall, cable, and beds permanently installed

>>45621618
Its usually the real rear echelon guys who have all that stuff. Security Forces have to deal with the exact same garbage the Army does, including sitting in towers in Stand Up bases and hate life while slamming Rip-its until someone's heart gives out.

To the training world of Gelius. The planet has a very odd birth rate that results it almost 90% female births, and is considered a primary recruiting spot for the Sisters of the Hallowed Gift covenant. Guardsmen stationed there are most often required to train with sisters and their neophytes, who believe in training without armor and as little clothing as possible so as to not rely on their powered armor overmuch. Of course, the sisters are well aware of the reactions this causes in men, and once the training is over, are more than happy to mingle, as it was. And pregency is regarded as a high honor among women of the world, given the rarity of men. Indeed, without the guard garrison, the local population would not have reached the numbers it has.

>>45621659
oh and air conditioning

>>45621734
magical realms only exist in the warp therefore you are a traitor and a heretic

i sent your IP to the inquisition

>>45621789
Wait, so when did "women wanting to have sex with men" become magical realm?

>>45621734
Is that an actual thing in the universe or just your own fanfiction? It can be hard to tell sometimes to be honest.

>>45621814
>Sexy warrior nuns that train in skimpy clothing and are eager to get fucked and knocked up because it is a great honor
Are you retarded or just having a giggle?

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>>45621627
The Torian Hussars. They were actually based off a previous Rogue Trader campaign that ended after our band became ridiculously wealthy and colonized a new world on a vital trade lane. The world ended up also becoming ridiculously wealthy, and when they finally got called to found Imperial Guard regiments they spared no expense outfitting them.

They were based a lot on the Belgian army during World War One. They wore top hats or bowler hats into battle, and their society demanded every soldier wear a mustache, or else they weren't considered properly dressed. Even the women would wear fake mustaches. Most regiments were light cavalry or dragoons.

I wanna say the regiment's makeup was Highborn, Maverick commander, Rough Rider regiment, Die-Hard training doctrine, and Well-Provisioned special equipment. I do remember we made the regiment by random-rolling from some table off /tg/, so the points probably don't add up.

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>>45621911
>getting to play with dogeys while on the war march

now that is comfy

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Planet Lectulus, better known as the Sofa Planet.

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>>45623297
Vigilantly guarded by the Comfy Marines

>>45621911
Anything cool that these guys did? What battles did they fight in?