That GM thread, aka "stupid/terrible/cringey shit you've

>>44380526
What is stupid, terrible, or cringey about enemies opening doors? Anything with hands and a brain can figure out how to work a door, and the hands are sometimes optional.

>None of the other humanoids in the setting outside of the PCs can open doors

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>>44380526
>Final boss/BBEF fight
>Campaign main theme plays

>>44380596
I dunno if that's bad, mate. That kinda sounds like a neat setting, given a good enough reason for that condition.

>>44380526
>>44380682
Why would people possibly be unable to open a door?

>>44380526
Is this a joke?

>>44380791
They're futuristic doors that scan you for a certain genetic trait, and if you have it, the door opens
The PCs are the only ones with this trait.

Hoo boy.

>Ability generation is 12d20, lowering 19 & 20 to 18 and taking best.
>Running entire game in combat rounds/Structured time
>Describe guardsman as 'man walking towards the mayor with intent to kill.'
>Having said level 8 guard knock out level 1 monk in a single blow when he steps between said person and the mayor.
>Insisting that I knew he was the guard when I didn't.
>Pathfinder
>Magic shops

It's like he wanted to run the game of Intercontinental Union of Disgusting Characters

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>>44380526

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>>44380526
>>enemies can open doors
Obvious bait, everyone move along.

>enemies can use ranged weapons

>>44381147
>enemies

>You can talk to enemies in combat

>>44381172
>you can talk

>>44381178
>you

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>NPC's have a personality beyond giving quests

>>44381178
>you

>>44381178
>you dont mash A to further dialogue

>>44381193
>NPCs

>Never do any romance or magical realm stuff with any of my characters in any games
>DM encourages me to this time since it would kind of fit the character, and the situation is worth it
>Decide to go against my better judgement and go along with it, and pursue an NPC the DM was basically serving up on a platter
>NPC turns out to be a middling BBEG monster in disguise, situation results in really terrible magical realm and followed servitude to the NPC for the game

Never taking that risk again.

>>44381193
>quests

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>>NPCs can do things normal people do

>>44381251
>NPCs can do things

>>44381277
>things

>>44381280
>ings

>>44381302
>

>>44381315

>44381409

>>44381082

>12d20
>pathfinder

what

>>44381454
3d4 exploding infinitely is the only way to go

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>>44380596

>PCs are from the rare few races with opposable thumbs

>skeleton boss
>i've got a bone to pick with you!

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>>44381461

>not exploding d2s

>>44380526
had this one once
>for every hit and miss in combat says "I'm imagining X" and gets up to act out both the attacker and defender in slow motion
>every
>single
>one
gotta love the enthusiasm but seriously I don't need a dramatic re-enactment.

Rolled 1, 16, 17, 13, 13, 5 = 65 (6d20)

>>44381545
Human paladin

>>44381591
...who can't lift his sword or get out of bed, but is as hearty as an ox.

>>44381193
>personality

>>>/v/

>>44381545

that sounds like the worst

I really don't get why people enjoy and purposely seek out systems where you can be hobbled by random chance during character creation. I know, badwrongfun, but it just seems weird to accept that how effective your character build is is determined by rolling even before gameplay starts. Random chance is there during gameplay, but there its necessary for conflict resolution if you're not doing freeform, it feels more immediately connected to your actions because it's more localized, and it adds to the drama. I guess I just don't get why you'd accept randomness during character creation if you don't have to? I'm even reluctant most of the time to have my players roll for HP; I usually give them the option to take half if they roll poorly.

Rolled 19, 7, 8, 5, 17, 1 = 57 (6d20)

>>44381545
>>44381558
what does exploding mean in this context? Never heard that before.

also, rolling for drow sorcerer

>>44381744
>sorcerer
>CHA 1

RIP this character

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>>44381193

>mobs have a personality beyond dropping loot and letting me finish !s

>>44381861
oh shit ok

I can see where that would go awry

>>44381744

Exploding Die are when you get to roll a die again and keep both results when it hits some threshold on a roll, usually the highest number the die is capable of - Shadowrun for instance uses "exploding die" on its rolls, so rolling a 6 means you get to reroll and keep both the original six as a success and any success from the additional roll too.

>>44381893
Huh. I played Shadowrun once a long time ago and I don't remember that being a thing.

>>44380559

>my cat i had when i was a kid used to open peoples doors in the middle of the night to snuggle

>>44381607
He's used as a cudgel by another player, while also wielding a rapier.

>>44381873
Honestly, if you wanted to dungeon crawl and not play the role of a person, then you should go back to norath/wow/destiny/wherever

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>>44381082
>>44381454
>>44381461
>>44381497
>>44381545
>>44381558
>not assigning intelligence, wisdom, and charisma scores based on how smart and sociable the player is

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>>44380526
Is your setting Morrowind? Is that why you were upset when the enemies opened a door?

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>>44382138
But if we were being honest, all of our scores would be 10 or lower

Even mine

Especially mine

>>44382168
Mine are 7, 3, 6, 15, 12, 5 according to this thing: kevinhaw.com/add_quiz.php

I've seen other people take it and have come to the conclusion that they are fucking liars. Or secretly Superman.

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>>44382291
>did you notice the mispelling of "friends" a few questions ago?

FUCK YOU STUPID ASS SURVEY No I didn't
STR:8
INT:13
WIS:15
DEX:11
CON:10
CHA:15

I'd make a decent 4e Wis/Cha Cleric. I think I remember that being a build you could do

>>44382478
Forgot to mention I took both surveys.

>>44382291
8 STR
13 INT
14 WIS
9 DEX
10 CON
4 CHA

Well, I guess it's reclusive wizard time

>>44382291
7 15 14 9 9 11

Time to be a wizzard I suppose

>>44382291
STR 7
DEX 11
CON 6
INT 17
WIS 11
CHA 14

that's... pretty accurate actually

>>44382291
either liars or the survey is completely fucked. I can't catch a single ball thrown at me, but I'm a decent shot with a pistol and a crossbow, and this somehow puts me up at above average dex even though it's more accurate that I have huge modifier for ranged attack.

survey is shit

>>44382491

11 STR
17 INT
12 WIS
7 DEX
10 CON
11 CHA

good thing i started working out at the beginning of this semester

too bad i'm a clumsy motherfucker

>>44382697

i think that's more a weakness of D&D than of the quiz

>>44382291
>kevinhaw.com/add_quiz.php
13
11
13
15
12
15

Rolled 18, 19, 20, 8, 10, 8 = 83 (6d20)

>>44381545
rollin' for humble farmer

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>44382806
roll for explosion

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>>44382806
>>44382822

>humble farmer

>>44380526
Nigga, my dig can open our front door. You are a fool.

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>>44380526
Bait but fun bait

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>>44382135

>He replied seriously

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>This ENTIRE thread

>>44381479
Shit-head OP here
You made me lose it, 10/10, you win. I feel way too guilty about how much of /tg/ took this lighthearted funpost thread seriously, but man you ran with it in the exact right direction.

>>44380983
>Invent a door that opens only for 4 to 6 people out of billions of people
>Order pizza
>Pray

>>44382291
9 17 13 9 7 10

Looks like an IQ of ~140 is a higher score than I estimated

>>44381189
>y

STR:13
INT:17
WIS:16
DEX:14
CON:14
CHR:15

>>44380983
So like Blame and its NTG?

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>>44380612
Is that a bad thing though? As long as the music doesn't draw attention to itself and the volume is low shouldn't it be fine?

>>44382291
>kevinhaw.com/add_quiz.php
STR: 7
INT: 13
WIS: 15
DEX: 10
CON: 13
CHA: 9

I think I fucked answering on the STR part. I had to give bad answers to some things because I'd never attempted such things so I had no way of giving an answer.

>>44382291
>16 cha
>still a virgin
Feels bad, all of my dates ended with me hating them and I would up a fag

>>44382912
Don't worry OP I didn't fall for it even though I was posting
<3

>>44382291
STR:11
INT:15
WIS:15
DEX:13
CON:16
CHR:8

As I suspected, charisma is a dump stat. I don't even know what to play. Maybe a Pathfinder Magus

>>44383358
Thanks man, I hope you had fun.

>GM passes you a weird-looking character sheet with an alternate layout, apparently he's got a premade for you
>"here you go, bro "
>name: Mad Catz

>everyone getting high INT

Of course /tg/ is full of wizards.

>>44383277
Bro, don't feel too bad. I've never even held hands.

>>44383567
It also has pretty low bars of intelligence, based on part one. I've seen some pretty dumb shits get an undergraduate degree, which is supposedly equivalent to a 120 IQ.

>>44382291
11
15
13
12
12
10
I'M GOING ON AN ADVENTURE [/spoiler[

>>44383116
>That 100% appropriate image
dat hwaito doe ;_;

>>44382291
Your stats are:
STR:10
INT:17
WIS:15
DEX:14
CON:11
CHR:16

I think I'm smart, but 17 seems a bit much doesn't it? Like, I always win games and I'm the guy people ask when they need to know a fact or can't remember something, but 17 seems high still.

I can spin pens in my hand, type 100 wpm, and play spacies in Melee, but that only gets me a 14?

Charisma might be too high, but I do get discounts and free drinks occasionally for no reason, and people always tell me I look familiar even though I'm not.

Overall, the values are probably a bit too high, but the ratio is about right (except maybe dex and cha)

>>44380612
This sounds kind of fun. I've tried to do this kind of thing before, have campaign-long musical motifs, but my players never seem to pick up on it.

>>44383646
Is a 120 IQ equal to a 1200 on a SAT? I'm wondering because my SAT score of 1910 is apparently pretty good and I'm wondering if it has any relation to IQ.

>>44381755
He is from 4chan.

Rolled 20, 8, 1, 18, 17, 17 = 81 (6d20)

Rolling for a commoner.

>>44383750
I got a 1920, bitch; I'm not even joking

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>44383807
Oh boy. Rolling again for STR.

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>>44383717
Chain>Hwaito
Dat ending though. Pity about the delays. The manga needs to be translated asap.

>>44383807
>>44383827
>29 STR
>8 DEX
>1 CON
>18 INT
>17 WIS
>17 CHA

Wow. This is the glassest of cannons.

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>>44382291
I call complete horseshit on the Strength score. I literally can't lift anything greater than 7 pounds. I answered every last one of those strength questions with the "I suck at this".

I also would have used my Puush to directly link a screenshot of the quiz results. But 4chan apparently thinks Puush is spam.

>>44380526
>guys I have a game to run
>we roll up characters
>ad&d
>dm says "you are all transported to modern day earth?!!!lolololol"
>game lasted 20 minutes.

>>44383646
Yeah also isnt Int more knowledge and Wis more You can use knowledge?

>>44383567
>tfw fingered a girl and had my first kiss
>still havent held hands

I hate my players, I hate them so much. Send help!

>>44383817
1970 come at me!

>>44383835
There was a kind anon doing some translations over on /a/ while it was airing, but I never saved them and he was pretty secretive about posting them due to studio taking it down. I wish I had saved them

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>>44383750
IQ and SAT are both pretty contentious measures of intelligence already. Trying to equivocate them is pretty futile. But the average IQ is 100 by definition, and the average SAT score is around a 1500. 120 IQ is the top 10 percentile. Top 10 percentile SAT score is around a 1900. Good by the standards of the US in general, but pretty standard against the people that matter.

>>44383817
>>44383908
You know what, I never got the chance to brag about my SAT scores when I was in high school. I'll sink this low, just once. 2270.

>>44383951
>swiggity swoo, here's your (you)

>>44382291
12 13 13 11 11 10
Paladin? Also,
>Can you run at FULL speed for more than 5 minutes??
The maximum is 40 seconds no matter how hard you train. This is why sprinting takes a different skillset than middle- or long-distance running.

>>44383951
1920 here

Damn, anon; good job. Sincerely. And thank you for putting into perspective what a 1900 might mean IQ wise, as I've never taken an IQ test

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>>44382291
Intelligence was a little high, but otherwise I think it's accurate.

What's considered the average Joe number?

>>44382039
Had a cat that did that too, cats OP.

>>44382478
For a second I read "human bird"

>>44382291
>STR:10
>INT:13
>WIS:15
>DEX:11
>CON:11
>CHR:8

Class me, /tg/

>>44380526
>enemies can open doors

Page 9 of OD&D vol 3, Wilderness & Underworld Adventures: "Most doors will automatically close, despite the difficulty in opening them. Doors will automatically open for monsters, unless they are held shut against them by characters. Doors can be wedged open by means of spikes, but there is a one-third chance (die 5-6) that the spike will slip and the door will shut."

Doors automatically open for monsters. Says so right there in the rules. Your GM did nothing wrong.

>>44384099
Some kinda honky-ass skill-druid?

Man, I think I got like a 1250 on my SATs. That was a long time ago, though.

>>44384031
10 or 11. Basically +0. 3 is shit, 18 is max.

It's hard to compare game statistics to real life, though. I realized the other day, in 5e, a max level Monk would need a feat and ki to outrun Usain Bolt.

>>44384126
Done deal

>>44382291
STR 10
INT 11
WIS 13
DEX 8
CON 11
CHR 8

How did i do /tg/?

>>44384178
>That was a long time ago, though.
Depending on how far back it was, it might have still been scored out of 1600. They score it out of 2400 now. I think they added an extra section, for 800 points each

>>44384122
What is this bullshit?

>>44382697
>I have huge modifier for ranged attack.
It's AD&D stats. DEX controls ranged to-hit modifier in AD&D.

>>44382291
STR 7, INT 13, WIS 8, DEX 8, CON 8, CHR 4
If only there was an 'I don't know' option.

>>44380526
i have a few
>myself and my friend agree to a friendly duel. first blood wins.
>we both make attack rolls, i roll a Nat.20
>Dm tells me to roll for damage
>i don't want to do damage i want to tap him with the blade
>Dm forces me to roll damage
>badly injure my friend
> i attempt to apply pressure to wound to stop the bleeding
>dm "roll a dex check"
>what???
>dm "roll a dex check to see if you stop the bleeding
same DM, same session
>attempting to distract a a shop owner so i can steal an item the party is after
>being a drow rogue i have 3 spell like abilities
>before entering the shop i told the Dm i wanted to place a stick on the frame of the shop window so i could cast faerie fire on it to make him confused
>dm "roll a dex check"
>again? with the dex checks? why?
>to see if you put the stick in the window.
>how does that makes sense?
>Dm "its hard to balance sticks"
i have more if anyone cares enough

>>44384277
jesus christ that is awful

continue.

9
11
16
13
11
12

I'm still pretty shit as a D&D character,

>>44380526
Making any and all important npcs old grizzled men or fey females with a charm like effect that can not be resisted.

Implying these are representations of he and his wife while he is a cushy plant operator who has not sweat in 20 years and his wife looks like an uglier version of Ursala.

>>44384031
http://thealexandrian.net/wordpress/587/roleplaying-games/dd-calibrating-your-expectations-2

DnD actually doesn't do a terrible job with skill and ability checks at low levels.

>Constantly introduce characters that are DM-empowered alternate flavors of a PC
>They are untouchable

>>44384319
here you go
>NPC steal an item we need and runs away with it
>let the party know i can handle it.
>stealthily follow him and watch him from a distance
>see as NPC throws item into a sewage system
>have a great item
>run to the sewer system and run down a good 10 feet.
>moving water.
>take my bag of holding and place in in the sewer, bag is wide enough so each end can touch the sides of the sewer
>wait a good 15 minutes letting the sewage fill the bag of holding
>after that time i reach my hand in and try to grab the item the NPC threw away by imagining it, because thats how a bag of holding works
>Dm " you dont feel anything"
>thats weird, i though that was a good plan.
>at the end of the session the Dm tells me the plan was stupid, because the item sunk to the bottom and stayed there.
>item was a small stone weighing no more an 1/10 of a pound.
>Dm doesnt understand how water works

next session

>following an important NPC because the party was too stupid to ask him the right questions for a quest we are doing
>Dm rolls a perception check
>npc finds me
>Dm setting a fucking Dc for my stealth
>tfw no dex check

>>44384276
>What is this bullshit?

The Dungeon has a mind of its own. The monsters are Its children, an extension of Its will. Doors are always stuck or locked for invading mortals from the rational, Lawful surface world. But the Dungeon is Chaos, and it doesn't suffer invasion lightly. So it spawns denizens which can move freely through any door (doors are never locked or stuck to the monsters) and which can see perfectly in the dark (unless they somehow fall under the ægis of the Player Characters, in which case they instantly lose this ability).

I mean, do you even D&D?

>>44384400
nice double doubles

>>44384402
Enough with the fruity Gygaxian bullshit, bring me Zeb Cook.

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>DM says I can play whatever I want to
>Run my character by the DM
>He says it's all good
>Play with the group for a semester, roughly 6 sessions.
>DM never gets in touch with me again
>See him next semester
>"Oh sorry anon, I didn't mean to avoid you, it's just that your character didn't mesh well with the overall approach the rest of the players have so we had a vote and kicked you out."
>Why didn't you just ask me to make a different character or tell me you had a mood/atmosphere you wanted to adhere to?
>"Sorry anon, they voted."
>mfw "Okay, that's cool, man."

Seriously, faggots just wanted to play generic sorcery and muh dark fantasy rubbish. Couldn't handle that my character was a masked vigilante who saw the best in them. I showed up to the table with Kamen Rider and they all wanted to play Dark Souls. Bunch'a rubes.

>>44384735

That group sounds terrible. I think them kicking you out was a favor, passive-aggressive people are the worst.

>>44382959
>

>>44385586
This

>>44384735
>"Okay, that's cool, man."
Betamax.

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>>44381479

>>44382291
STR:14
INT:14
WIS:11
DEX:11
CON:13
CHR:10

I'm pretty sure this is too high of an evaluation.

>>44383951
>You know what, I never got the chance to brag about my SAT scores when I was in high school. I'll sink this low, just once. 2270.

2340 motherfuckers. I'm so much better at taking meaningless, poorly-designed tests than all of you, you should be jealous.

Rolled 3, 20, 19, 10, 9, 8 = 69 (6d20)

Str 9, Int 17, Wis 13, Dex 8, Con 11, Cha 16
Dex and Int can decrease 1 point each, but otherwise seems fine.

Anyway, rolling for human bard.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>44387031
8 charisma ... but I still have a chance throwing knives.

Pretty much this

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>>44382291
>kevinhaw.com/add_quiz.php

Your stats are:
STR:16
INT:17
WIS:13
DEX:10
CON:12
CHR:9

Clumsy, socially awkward Musclewizard?

>>44386078
But anon, they weren't talking about the ACT.

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Rolled 15, 14, 19, 4, 20, 11 = 83 (6d20)

Rolling for skeleton paladin

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>44387226
Exploding wisdom on a paladin, how horrifying

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>>44387237
15 strength
14 dexterity
19 constitution
4 intelligence (skellingtons have no brains)
33 wisdom holy fuck son calm down
11 charisma decent bone jokes

>>44387248
Are you the skeleton of goddamn Forest Gump

Rolled 6, 17, 9, 12, 9, 6 = 59 (6d20)

rolling for wild magic sorcerer

>>44382291
Your stats are:
STR:9
INT:13
WIS:14
DEX:13
CON:6
CHR:10

It's about as good as any rolls I do on any of my characters

>>44387262
6 strength
17 dex
9 con
12 int
9 wis
6 cha

>17 dex
fuck when i jump off a bridge to kill myself because of these shitty stats ill probably pass my reflex roll and end up just shattering my paper thing ankle bones

>>44387248
This character could kill every other character in the thread

Except maybe >>44387031 this bard, would be a good fight

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>>44382291
>a master's degree
>121-130 IQ
Jesus Christ, how do people write this stuff without feeling the embarrassment?

Also
STR:9
INT:15
WIS:15
DEX:8
CON:10
CHR:9

>>44381193
>have

>>44382291

STR:13
INT:17
WIS:14
DEX:12
CON:10
CHR:17

I'd like to thank /fit/ and a PhD for making me...an illusion wizard...

Rolling for kobold archer

>>44382291
STR 16
DEC 13
CON 11
INT 17
WIS 16
CHA 13

Damn, my stats would make a monk playable.

Gee anons, i had no idea so many of you had phds and can bench press cars while perfectly reciting shakespeare to woo the nearest dudes and babes, on a bench made of nails and hot coals, and tying complex knots in rope with your toes

>>44382291
str: 7
int: 12
wis: 14
dex: 9
con: 13
cha: 8

Not sure what to think about this... I guess it's kinda right.

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>>44382291
STR 9
INT 17
WIS 9
DEX 7
CON 11
CHA 8

At least I'm smart tg

>>44382291
What have you done?
I did this before I guess. Some of the values were pre-filled, though most were wrong.

I want to point out as a /fit/izen, that's not the definition of a military press. That describes an overhead press: military press is stricter.

STR:15
INT:17
WIS:10
DEX:7
CON:10
CHR:11

Int seems a little high, maybe because I test well. My memory is crap, which I think is core to intelligence. Though I noticed that for some reason this thing put memory questions under wisdom. Was that how it was in AD&D. For wis I would've believed a 9. Dex seems too low. I'm clumsy, but not _that_ clumsy. Cha I think should maybe be a point higher. I've been told I'm witty and have a lot of force of personality before; maybe it's that I'm ugly.

Anyways, perfect scores for the Wizard I was born to be, though with a weirdly high strength, but not enough of anything else to be a Warblade or whatever.

>>44383750
Mensa actually used to accept SAT scores as evidence of IQ. That is, if you got 98th percentile or better on SAT, you were good for them. But I think the 80s or something they stopped because they actually cross-referenced performance on SAT versus Stanford-Binet or Wechsler and found the correlation way too poor.

Rolled 16, 19, 14, 18, 7, 15 = 89 (6d20)

wut

>>44387736
The STR stats are kind of fucked anyway, the test gives me a 13 when my STR should be 16 based on the carrying/lifting charts in AD&D.

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Rolled 14, 3, 11, 2, 16, 15 = 61 (6d20)

Rolling for an old man

STR: 15
INT: 15
WIS: 15
DEX: 6
CON: 8
CHA: 15

Well damn better than I thought. I am viking mode IRL, and I honestly should have lower con (constantly sick and allergies like mad) but this entire test didn't feel too accurate. Class me please?

>>44382135
....this guy

>>44382291
>kevinhaw.com/add_quiz.php
STR: 9
INT: 17
WIS: 13
DEX: 9
CON: 10
CHR: 12

STR really sucks for small guys like me.

>>44384178
Yeah I remember having a similar line of thought when discussing doing a hero with mundane-themed powers and working out how many Speed ranks are appropriate.

Rolled 9, 5, 6, 10, 3, 19 = 52 (6d20)

STR: 15
INT: 13
WIS: 15
DEX: 11
CON: 14
CHA: 15

Personally I would have put myself as straight 10's across the board.

Rolling for the Character I'd play as some sort of escapism from this living hell I call a life

>>44388878

Apparently I am a literal face in a jar.

>>44382291
STR: 7
INT: 15
WIS: 9
DEX: 6
CON: 8
CHR: 3
Int should be lower, but the rest seems fairly accurate.

>>44382291
Str 9
Int 15
Wis 16
Dex 10
Con 11
Cha 9

Personally, I think my Charisma should be lower by a point or two but everything else seems close.

>>44383858
Assuming the DM didnt make that 1 CON turn the character into someone who dies from the cold then Id play it.

Rolled 6, 3, 3, 1, 13, 20 = 46 (6d20)

Huh, not bad. Seems pretty accurate. I'd make the Dex 15-16 though; I'm pretty clumsy but damn am I agile and quick on my feet.

Rolling for stats, Gelatinous Cube Psion

>>44382291
STR:6
INT:17
WIS:13
DEX:13
CON:10
CHR:7
Guess I could try to double digit my str.

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Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>44390334
Forgot pic
Exploding CHA

>>44390334
>>44390358
>37 CHA Gelatinous Cube Psion
Jesus Christ, how horrifying.

>>44382291
STR:11
INT:15
WIS:10
DEX:9
CON:8
CHR:6

Unsurprisingly I'm kind of a shit human being.

>>44382291
>Dexterity 3
There are people with full-blown neurological damage more dextrous than that.

>>44387216
I got a 34 on that fucking thing, and was so proud of myself for a long while.
Nobody told me that literally nobody cares.

Colleges don't care, they just want your loan money though the one I'm at cares more about people being educated, which is nice
Employers just care that you can do the work and not fuck things up
High School just cares that your grades make them look good

It's too bad, really. No Child Left Behind is more like "No Child Gets Ahead". No incentives for success.

>>44381461
>3d4 exploding infinitely is the only way to go

Holy shit I actually love this.

Am I That GM?

>>44381939
It wasn't called "exploding" back then, the term hadn't been coined.

>>44384400
>item was a small stone weighing no more an 1/10 of a pound.
Weigh doesn't matter, it's density.

>>44380559
>Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>44391023
Hang on, mate.

Let's say the stone fits comfortably in the palm of your hand — it's small.
Your palm is roughly 9 square inches on average, and we'll call the stone about half again as tall.
So now our stone is assumed to be about 4.5 by 9 inches, or 40.5 cubic inches. That's 102.87 cubic centimeters, or 102.87 mL.
Back to 1/10 of a pound. That's 45.3592 grams.

Density of water can be assumed to be 1 gram per mL.
Density of our stone is 45.3592 grams per 102.87 mL, or 0.44093710508 g/mL.

After making all of these hot assumptions, the stone is probably less dense than water, and would be shifted and dragged by the current of the sewer.

>go to D&D session
>DM rips my ticket, directs me to my seat
>10 minutes before game starts, the vice-DM directs everyone to the showers and gives us our falcons
>brought my own soap so it's cool
>get into combat with a goblin
>roll a nat 20 on attack, fuck yeah
>DM asks me what's wrong
>very confused, what's he talking about
>he points to a sign that says "mandatory nat 20 dance celebration"
>tell him I don't want to do that I can't dance
>DM just now notices I came in by myself
>violated the no singles policy, too
>sentenced to a year in the d20 mines

>>44391123
Ok, but it's not because of the weight alone.

>>44391023
>Weigh doesn't matter, it's density.

>>44391180
>Ok, but it's not because of the weight alone.

If the density is the greatest factor, it will move.
If its weight is the greatest factor, it will move.
It's a tenth of a pound at MOST. Even assuming its largest possible weight, it's an extremely light object. That's the weight of a metal spoon. It's 9 nickels. 10 teaspoons of brown sugar.

This is not a large object.

>>44387031

>Bard's stats equal 69

You done it right, son.

>>44382291
STR:10
INT:17
WIS:13
DEX:12
CON:13
CHR:11

i think i can live with this

>>44391384
>Le epik 69 muhmay

You have to be over 18 to post here anon

>>44383881
Int is your Rig, Wis is your OS

Rolled 14, 7, 5, 1, 9, 10 = 46 (6d20)

Rolling for humanboo fairy paladin

>>44391869
>1 dex
Human equipment is far too heavy for a petite fairy

>>44382291
STR 14
INT 16
WIS 12
DEX 6
CON 16
CHA 6


I deducted a point from INT because languages look hilariously OP and college education basically guarantees a max level wizard score.

but what the hell do I even do?
stat me

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>>44382291
>kevinhaw.com/add_quiz.php
I feel like this is pretty accurate, except the CHA. I would be doing a great deal better than a plant manangers apprentice if I had half of the force of personality it took to validate that stat.

Or, maybe, this is my calling to leave hermithood and my hermit girlfriend to pursue my strengths?

I'm not sure I'll ever know. Low Wis life.

STR 13
INT 15
WIS 14
DEX 9
CON 11
CHR 13

What should I be?

>>44382291
STR:9
INT:14
WIS:11
DEX:7
CON:13
CHR:9

Not too shabby.

>>44382291
STR: 13
INT: 17
WIS: 13
DEX: 13
CON: 13
CHA: 18

I dont even play D&D (I usually play homebrews). What class would I be?

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>>44381545
Tiefling Monk.

Rolled 4, 16, 10, 4, 13, 20 = 67 (6d20)

>>44396647
Would help if I could dice correctly, ugh.

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>44396666
Exploding Cha, Satan quads and Demifiend to top it all off. You can totally trust me, guys.

>>44396666
>>44396695

End result:
STR 4
DEX 16
CON 10
INT 4
WIS 13
CHA 31 (!)

So I have a demonic martial artist who can't punch for shit and is mentally retarded, but who could also probably stop World War X with just a "Can't we all just get along?"

What have I created? Is this Kung Pow?

>>44396737
Succubus siren bard desu

>>44382291
Hey. Wanted to say thanks. Here are my honest-to-goodness results.
Str:12
Int:17
Wis:9
Con:10
Dex:9
Cha:17

AMA, if you want. Rough alignment would be LG or NG.

>>44394590
Wizard or Druid.

Rolled 18, 3, 1, 17, 19, 17 = 75 (6d20)

>>44395714
>18 CHA
>17 INT
>13 everything else

Bard, easily.

Rolling stats for Tarrasque Rogue

>>44398315
>Str: 18
>Dex: 3
>Con: 1(!)
>Int: 17(!)
>Wis: 19(!)
>Cha: 17(!)

Least sneaky Rogue ever and killed by a stiff breeze.

But christ those mental stats

>>44398315
He didn't roll that. He analyzed his IRL stats. Check your own and post what you got. His post is a reply to the post with the link.

>>44398362
>He didn't roll that.

Okay...?

What about that changes the class I gave him?

>>44398371
Thought that you thought he rolled those stats out. Just trying to help out, friend.

>>44398387
Why would I think he rolled his stats? Like you said, the thing he used was linked in the reply he replied to.

>>44398405
Yeah. Good point. Sorry. Posting at work. Had three medical emergencies roll through in a row and they all ended up in the deep freeze, so my critical thinking skills are shot. Was just trying to keep linkposter's spirit alive by encouraging you to try it for yourself.

>>44398434
Fair enough., I'll probably check that out in a bit and see what happens.

I think the stats I rolled for a potential tarrasque rogue made up for it.

>>44398446
Don't have to worry if you get any monster levels and slap on some mithril, because your damage is going to be retarded (if you can land a hit). With all those additional skill points though, he'll be sneaking and trap siting like a hero in no time flat.

>>44382291
why did i do this?
STR:12
INT:15
WIS:12
DEX:10
CON:10
CHR:10

...
i suppose if nothing else my cha has apparently gone up. last time i took one of these my cha was around a 7.

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>have to cross a over a gap
>GM wants us to get over it quickly
>first player goes without an issue
>makes the second player roll to not trip and fall
>me and another player have characters who stand no chance of making such a test and thus we have to spend multiple turns slowly crossing while the rest of the party is fighting in the distance
>GM wonders why we're going so slow
>says he'd let us make an easier roll than the previous player for the same thing, effectively punishing the other player for specializing in that sort of thing
>refuse because even then, our characters have a lower chance of success
>spend a 3 hour gameplay session doing effectively nothing but healing the party before the encounter ends and the game is called for the night
>all while one of the players who actually DID get to do something complains that he's annoyed and bored because he picked a jack-of-all-trades class

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>>44382291
STR 18
INT 11
WIS 8
DEX 7
CON 15
CHR 11
I don't know why strength is so high. Considering a size modifier I'm not that strong, it just comes naturally being built like a gorilla man and actually lifting to stay in shape. I also would have scored myself lower on INT, but apparently having an undergrad degree gave me something.

STR:11
INT:11
WIS:15
DEX:12
CON:9
CHR:11

Welp..guess I'll be a Druid then. I'm already good with animals and had a run-in with a bear unharmed(sort of, I didn't know it was there).

>>44382652
Sure it is.

>>44385641

>>44380526
N-nani?

>>44398639
7 dex 18 str
Are you a rock golem?

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>>44382291
I'm surprised I have that much Strength.

>>44403651
I'm an ex power lifter who got mildly fat.

STR:14
INT:17
WIS:12
DEX:9
CON:12
CHR:14

Thaaaaat´s... way better that I expected, in STR at least. So, fat jolly wizard?

>>44403918
Why did you stop?

True Neutral Human Bard/Sorcerer

Ability Scores:
Strength- 12
Dexterity- 11
Constitution- 15
Intelligence- 13
Wisdom- 11
Charisma- 12

not bad

>>44382291
Here we go
STR:9
INT:15
WIS:12
DEX:11
CON:10
CHR:10
I don't even these scores like INT I got because of Uni but why so much wis,dex and chr

>>44382138
This is a fantasy game, not the sims

>>44381939
Shadowrun dice only explode when you spend Edge before the roll.
World of Darkness, however, always explodes on a d10

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>>44391127

>>44382291
STR:10
INT:14
WIS:14
DEX:10
CON:6
CHR:11

Just had my gallbladder out 2 weeks ago because my body is put together slightly wrong, so that fucked my constitution score. Looks like I've got entirely average charisma, strength, dexterity. As for intelligence and wisdom, I guess I have a decent knack for learning and figuring things out.

>>44382291
Str 9
Dex 10
Con 11
Int 15
Wis 16
Cha 10

Not bad. I guess I'm a Wiz/Clr.

>>44382478
Cha 8 sorc/bard.

STR:13
INT:16
WIS:13
DEX:15
CON:15
CHR:12

Magus anyone? Or am I just a wizard-of-all-trades?

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>>44382291

Str:15
Int:11
Wis:12
Dex:6
Con:10
Chr:10

I can get behind this.

The AD&D Stats Quiz says I have these stats:
STR:11
INT:17
WIS:11
DEX:10
CON:6
CHR:9

Apparently I'd make a fuck awesome wizard. I'm pretty confident that the intelligence score is correct too. I tested for Mensa once and could join, if I had the cash to pay the fee.

>>44380526
>it's a /v/ thread

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>>44408044

>not reading the glorious "stat me irl" derailment

>>44407984
>CHR:9
>Apparently I'd make a fuck awesome wizard.

Nope, you'd be unable to really handle summoned creatures very well, which means you'd be a tier 3 caster at best, and your dex score also means you can't really pull out spells fast enough to be a decent blaster caster.

>>44406654
>Magus anyone? Or am I just a wizard-of-all-trades?

You'd make a fairly decent Rogue with a few levels of wizard.

>>44381461
>Average ~10
>Substantial chance of rolling lower than 10
>Really small chance of really high roll

This is actually kind of weak.

>>44408305
I have a STR and WIS of 7, CHA 14 and INT 17. Average 0 modifiers for the rest. Any ideas what I'd be?

>>44410703
Sounds like a wizard to me

>>44410711
With the standard crippling weakness and terrible decision-making skills. Which makes me wonder why its so non-representative of what I actually do.

>>44410723
I dunno, you took an online quiz to determine traits about you, which is definitely indicative of low Wis.

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>>44382291
Are these values right?

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>>44382291

>>44382160
I don't trust any npc that moves without my permission.

>>44408331

3:4 probablity of exploding though - so while on average you get the D&D average stat of 10, you also have a high probability of rolling >4 d4s.

>>44382291
STR:5
INT:12
WIS:11
DEX:10
CON:9
CHR:10

I'm betting the cane probably hurt my strength score a bit, but otherwise mostly average. I can dig it.

>>44391127
> go to D&D session
> DM brings the menu
> I select human paladin, with a side of orphan
> co-DM cooks me a nice character
> start with a kobold encounter
> notfeelingsogood.jpg
> oh shit
> Nat 1
> Ask where the bathroom is, it's by the entrance.
> Rush to the toilet
> worst diarrhea in years, must have been 3.5... or worst pathfinder
> peek out of the bathroom
> 20 years have passed
> Go back home.
> Inhabited by strangers. The recently moved in. Was auctioned.
> Do a bit of research. Mother died. They apparently looked for me for a long time.
> Go to her tomb, start to cry.
> Young woman sees me cry.
> Approach slowly, tries to calm me down.
> I don't care, I'm sad.
> Ask if she can do anything to make me feel better.
> I fake a smile. She smiles too.
> She approaches. I realize she's kinda cute.
> Don't know what to do, try to throw a couple peppermint at her. Everyone loves peppermint.
> grab whatever I find in my pocket actually.
> it's cold, humid and squishy
> Mom's spaghetti

Here, I think I managed to write something that makes even less fuckin' sense. You're welcome.

Rolled 17, 20, 20, 16, 2, 8 = 83 (6d20)

>>44381545
Drow Artificer

Rolled 15, 10 = 25 (2d20)

>>44418892
Rollan for exploding dex & con

>>44382291
STR:8
INT:17
WIS:13
DEX:10
CON:12
CHR:9

ugh

>>44380526
Not exactly "That Guy" but I really wanted somewhere to post this.

>Doing a session earlier today
>Pretty average stuff, get a plot thread, bump some uglies, return to local duke
>"As thanks for your services, I shall have my most trusted servant escort you!"
>Servant is a big quiet knight guy, typical retainer
>One PC comments on how it'd have been nicer to get a cute maid instead
>The servant leaves
>We ignore it and continue the session
>Towards the end of the session, we get into an encounter
>The servant shows up half-way through with sword and shield to help us
>He's still bearded and thick, but the GM describes him as wearing a frilly headdress and a miniskirt

I'm not really sure what to make of this.

>>44420147
Your GM is a glorious man.

Rolled 9, 8, 19, 2, 3, 18 = 59 (6d20)

rollin' for Warforged Berserker

>>44421133
dat chrome

>>44382291
STR:8
INT:15
WIS:9
DEX:8
CON:9
CHR:13

Nice now i want to kill myself, thanks random unscientific quiz

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>>44382291
Str: 12 - I should be negative but enough of the questions were related to one's body weight
Dex: 12 - Accurate enough
Con: 7 - Suffer from a thing that kept me out of school in grades 4-7 and now have a blood thing that is basically a guarantee I'll get blood cancer
Wis: 10 - I'd have placed it lower but I guess I'm alright at that
Int: 17 - Sent to special gifted education school for 140 and greater IQ's
Cha: 17 - Haven't had to pay for my drinks in ages, I can sing, I'm quick with words and I can make almost anyone like me.

Time to take up adventuring as a mage of some sort I guess. Accurate enough? That perception check shoulda been under the wisdom checklist instead of the intelligence one though.

>>44420147
I love it, your gm is great.

>>44420699
You have an amazing GM, that's what it means fucker.

>>44382652
Ah a fellow enlightened gentlesir.
I shall lower my trilby for you, my euphoric brother

>>44382291
Well, according to this I'm a little above average in almost every respect, but nothing I'm VERY good at. Yay?
STR:9
INT:13
WIS:12
DEX:12
CON:10
CHA:12

>Be human
>Human feat you pick is Expeditious Dodge like feat (counts as dodge)
>All feats have dodge as prerequisite
>Be killed by GM's mistake (read wrong a monster's feature and though it was insta dead)
>Next session he realizes he fucked up but don't want to retcon the entire session
>GM "Have free reincarnation"
>Non-human
>Lose all my feats because now I don't have expeditious dodge
>GM "I give you free reincarnation and you still complain? fuck you"
Super awesome losing 6 feats and rendering your PC as useless as a warrior

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>>44383737
Players. They just don't understand.