>A unicorn is polymorphed into human form, and you must protect

>>43759604
If the unicorm in human form still has his or hers horns very difficult. Because he or she would be horny all the time.

>>43759604
Why must I protect it, what aspect of it must be protected, what must I protect it from, what do I have at my disposal, etc.?

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>>43759604
So long as she doesn't become completely oblivious to her normal speaking voice carrying to the BBEG while we're staying in his castle it shouldn't be too hard.

I just hope the prince is gay because if not shit just got complicated.

>>43759604
Depends. Is some one aware of and actively hunting said polymorphed unicorn? If not it would be pretty simple since they aren't stupid.

>>43759604

I immediately slit its throat and drink its blood.

>>43759673
>Is some one aware of and actively hunting said polymorphed unicorn?

An evil businessman and his cronies.

What is the unicorn temperament like again?
Is she likely to headbutt you if you touch her?

>bring her to school
>hope she doesn't freak out
>tell the teachers she's my cousin from Lithuania

>>43759604
Suppress Other's Life.
Future Legacy.

"Temporarily" kill the Unicorn with no negative side effects, then shunt it forwards in time while it counts as an "object".

Impossible for it to have suffered harm when it didn't exist.

>>43759782
>unicorn never appears in the future
>unicorn has been abducted by time bandits
Now what?

>>43759604
>>>/mlp/

I assume it is known that the unicorn exist and its human form is also known.

Rent a remote hut for a couple of months and hide it there. If it's known that I have to protect it, I'll get someone else to book it for me.

>>43759798
Shit man this is sounding like fun. We're going to need to track down a time wizard or something.

>>43759945
Oh shit, turns out the time wizards are Advanced Time Wizards!
What do you do?

>>43759680
Calm down, Voldemort.

>>43759680
No rape?
What if it's a hot girl?

>>43759604
>Wild creatures with bad tempers
>Stupid enough to be goaded into embedding their horns into a tree trunk, leading to their deaths
>Will worshipfully follow virgin girls into certain death, but are distainful of whores and liars.

So the human form of a Unicorn is the average /r9k/ poster?

>>43759604
Do people hwo have a grudge against her KNOW who she is?

If not, then it's a cakewalk unless you have a murderhobo McEdge in your group

>>43760108
Well there you go. Leave it in front of a computer with enough instant food for a month and hope it doesn't die of heart failure before you come back.

Time to break out my collection of America 8 tracks!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxoJLJx-mJw

>>43759669
Also pray to god she never fucking sings.

I feel like this whole thread is referencing shit I've never heard of

I've heard of unicorns and that's about it

>>43761068
>hasn't seen The Last Unicorn
Oh sweet summer child.
Go.
Go and watch it.

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>>43761068
The Last Unicorn should be on Netflix and Amazon Prime. Go watch it.

>>43759604
Not very hard, she'll just use her super-OP magical friendship powers to defeat the most popular girl in school so she can bring the crown back to the unicorn dimension.

>>43759604
Pretty difficult. I live in a dorm room.

>>43759604
My current character is a buffalo herder Barbarian who grew up taking care of animals with his tribe, I would make sure she was well fed everyday and keep her safe from the edgy CN Wizard.

Depends entirely on whether or not it is a massive dickbag with it's virginity radar

I mean for other people obviously not me

>>43759661

You are the only virgin that could be found on short notice.

You have only what you have now and your life is now a romcom. Enjoy.

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>>43760027

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>>43759798

Dammit, I hate those guys.

>>43761126
>Oh sweet summer child.
Stop bitching that not everyone watches your shit. Trying to call out other people as "summer" just shows how fucking new you are.

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>>43759604
About as difficult as protecting any random nobody human?
I mean, who wants to hurt it, and do they know what it looks like now?
You deliberately avoid stating vital details just to see us argue about nothing.
Also, unicorns are not inherently a traditional game. They can be IN a traditional game, but out of context like this they are off topic.

>>43763535
But anon, is arguing about nothing not the most traditional game of all?

>>43759604
Not very, according to 2nd edition D&D manual, unicorn is a good-aligned creature of considerable magical power and often either scryed regularly by, or protected outright by, deities.

>>43759604
Sounds like a bad MLP fanfic.

Depends, does my character have access to a bondage dungeon and someone able to cast third level cleric spells?

>>43759604

Polymorph it back to Unicorn.

Really, guys. Not that hard.

>>43763613
As opposed to a good MLP fanfic?

Would she keep the mannerisms of a horse? Im fine for picking up this quest and using my hose as a shelter but I will be damned if I allow her to shit on the carpet.

>>43763893
In theory, an MLP fanfic COULD be a good work of fiction. There is nothing preventing it other than the astronomically long odds.

>>43763922
...I-I liked Rainbow Factory...

pls no bully

>>43763893
I've read good MLP fanfiction.

>>43763413
isn't it a GoT quote now, not just calling people newfag?

>>43760831
Seriously that killed the movie

>>43763278

But anon, I'm not a virgin.

Will I have to pretend to not be married so it will accept my protection? Because I don't think my wife will be into that.

>>43763947
consider yourself bullied

>>43763967
Same, there's some good stuff out there as long as you look past the source material and see the interesting setting it provides instead.

>>43759604

>I'm really a unicorn

So she can only hang out with virgins?

So she's a virgin?

>>43759680
What are you, a Vampire?
She's going to have Polymorphed blood also, it's no more magical then a human.

>>43764119
There's amazing stuff out there if you can ignore what other people do when they get together and start shitting on everything.

>>43763947
>Rainbow Factory
Your opinon is already less then worthless.

Honestly, it's the very definition of grimderpification. Not even 40k at it's most childish gets to that point and it's already canon that the Emperor eats more then a thousand souls a day just to stay on his chair.

>>43764334
Grimdark doesn't mean bad.

>>43764405
grimderp does though

>>43764016
Why do you think having to hide your marriage from your increasingly sex-starved wife while dealing with a Yandere unicorn who thinks you're dating a co-worker that is a childhood friend? All you need is for the Unicorn to think that women have unrestrained libido and are trying to sperm-jack you because she has morals from Victorean eras and is slowly falling in love with you herself. So she is trying to get you to marry your childhood friend while you're sneaking around to see your wife and the Unicorn can no longer sense virginity magically because she's in human form so she just goes full stalker.

Toss in a demon or some shit like that trying to seduce you in front of the Unicorn, who is pissed because she actually loves the unicorn and thinks you're the reason why she was polymorphed, and wants the Unicorn to kill you so she can have her.

>>43764405
It doesn't. But "grimdark that takes itself completely seriously" might as well mean bad.

>>43764016
You know, in hindsight, the fact that Amalthea ends up travelling around with Smedrick, who is a literal wizard. Makes a lot more sense. I wasn't sure he was as old as 30 though.

>>43764627

According to the standard chart I don't qualify for wizard but should have paladin levels. Would a unicorn accept that?

>>43764650
>but should have paladin levels
the fuck chart are you consulting, here?

>>43760831
>>43763979
If you listen to the official soundtrack, you'll find that the polished voice of the professional singer isn't appropriate to the tone of the scene. The poor singing in the movie makes the scene more touching and human.

>>43764725

It was an old thing that went around /tg/ awhile back. A virgin at 30 becomes a wizard, it extrapolated further classes from there. A man who waited until marriage would become a Cleric at 30, so on and so forth. Some kind anon may have it saved somewhere.

>>43760757
>>43759669
I am proud of you anons for remembering.

>>43760831
Was it that bad?

>>43763278
So trying to avoid being raped by the unicorn you are protecting?

>>43764452
A clusterfuck but why did I chuckle at that.

I might even pay to watch it.

>>43764627
That starts to make sense now.

>>43764784
So what was a paladin?

>>43763413
It's an allusion to a quote from A Song of Ice and Fire.
>"Oh, my sweet summer child," Old Nan said quietly, "what do you know of fear?"
It's just saying you're a youngun who didn't watch it as a child.
Don't be so sensitive.

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>>43759640

>>43763413
it's also a legitimate way of referring to someone's age or life experience. Take, for example, 'in the august of one's life'. Although younger folks who haven't learned the folly of firing from the hip at every chance they get will probably tune in to the only thing they can draw any reference from; I.E. "omg GoT fag!"

>>43764903
Because that's 90% of Harem anime? Also Shakespeare. Turns out clusterfucks of Drama provide opportunities for humorous, ironic, or tragic misunderstandings and so there you have the trifecta of entertainment.

Half-way through go full "Brothers Grimm" and switch from tits to gore as the Unicorns extreme measures come to light and you find that she has been responsible for a spate of murders that have been mentioned in the background up until now, while everyone is suspecting the Demon chick. Who is, BTW, more than happy to kill people but follows strict rules as opposed to the Unicorn who has all the motivations but none of the restrictions now that she has been transformed into a person.

She has also been searching for a way to regain her powers, and throughout the series they start to come back in the sense of healing abilities, which means that she is almost impossible to kill as she hunts down adulterers, sluts, and whores.

The Demon knew about this and has been encouraging it. You find out that she helped the Unicorn kill the co-worker/childhood friends Ex because he was trying to get back together with her. And maybe someone else at the office that was having an affair with the boss or something. As well as random "Jack the Ripper" murders.

It could end with the Unicorn hunting down the MC's Wife because she thinks that she's trying to tempt him/catches them in a compromising situation. The Demon uses the souls of the murder victims to put the Unicorn back into her old body, which happens just as she's trying to kill the Wife. Regaining her powers, the Unicorn realizes the wife and MC are pure, so she runs away and vanishes.

MC and Wife get arrested for the murders, and the Co-Worker/Childhood friend is just kind of "WTF". She never finds out about the magic and just thinks she had a close brush with a killer. She's started dating a man and is planning to testify. Last shot is her new GF coming to pick her up, it's the Demon in drag.

>>43765223
You had sex before 30 but stayed with that partner. And only had sex with them.

>>43764833
Like once a year I get the urge to watch it again.

>>43764846
It's ... touching but ... yeah. It's bad. I forget which Bridges plays Lir but he's absolutely tone deaf. It's touching, but cringey.

>>43759604

Well, that depends if the Unicorn that got cursed into a girl is the Ide or one of the Moto Calvary. If it was one of the Moto, he shouldn't have any problem wrecking faces as a she; if its the Ide on the other-hand, well that guy is pretty defenseless- but I play a Daidoji Bushi so its not that much of a problem if he needs to be guarded until the curse gets removed.

>>43767615
What are you if you had sex with someone, stayed with them and they died?

I need to know because sadness.

>>43763104
The second movie was much better. The third sucked as much as the first.

>>43767812
Did you fuck the corpse?

>>43767646

Jeff Bridges is Lir. The Last Unicorn had a fantastic cast, with the exception of a couple singing parts. The movie is gold.

>>43767812
Fallen Paladin, obviously.

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My current character IS a unicorn polymorphed into human form. He's a hot blooded anachronistic knight who feels really awkward about how nobody is a virgin and cannot into his new smartphone. There's this QT girl he's crushing on but she's a Widow and had like 3 kids already.

>>43767646
I assumed the Princes lack of singing ability was intentional, like it was supposed to be this awkward fail of a song because he's this big hero but he can't express his emotions

>>43759959
I go to the north pole, use my powers as Lord Of The Dance to reverse the rotation of the earth, thusly reversing time to precisely a quarter past three, last Thursday!

>>43768368
Changeling the Lost?

>>43763922
So John Cena is guaranteed to write a good MLP fanfic?

>>43768216
Sir Christopher Lee came in with his copy of the book and was ready to argue against anyone suggesting that any of the important bits of the book would be changed in the movie.

>>43769257
He came in with a list of things that had to be included.

>>43767615

I thought that Paladin was "you had sex with someone before marriage, but only them and then you married them."

My wife doesn't know that's why I mostly play paladins when she GMs.

Shit man, I'ts been a long time since I last watched the Last Unicorn. I think I shall watch it again sometime this week.

>>43764650
>>43764725
>>43764784
>>43765223
I've always only heard about the Wizard thing. Just recently heard Paladin a few times. Never knew there was more to it than just wizard

>>43769659
Aww, that's somehow damn cute anon

>>43770002
You read the book?

Who else here has read the book?

>>43770066
>You read the book?
No. What made you think I have though?

>>43770285
I didn't. I was curious to see if you did, though.

>>43763349
Go fuck yourself, tumblr.

>>43763413
Go back to your containment board, /b/tard.

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>>43759604

>>43768368
That sounds like an interesting character? More storytime?

Also qt "girl"? Young woman at least, surely.

>>43763922
Friendship is Optimal

>>43764784
Are you talking about the same chart that has necromancer for losing virginity through fucking a corpse, druid for bestiality, and warlock for rape?

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>>43769659
>My wife doesn't know that's why I mostly play paladins when she GMs.
>tfw no /tg/ waifu

>>43759604
>get her arrested and put in solitary confinement

>>43772286

Keep looking, anon, you'll find her put there somewhere.

>>43772286
>>43773496
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjImFYf2Vzc

>>43772286
>that filename
First, it's "infarction". Second, there may be a multifactorial risk of myocardial infarction, but as it is, it doesn't make sense. If you're looking for a third word, "acute myocardial infarction" is what you should go for.

>>43773894
Oh, ok. I just took the name from someone else. Maybe I misremembered it or something. Thanks.

>>43769365
>>43769257
He also did his own German dub