Friendly reminder that Jorge Mendes and his Tuga Cabal completly

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Friendly reminder that Jorge Mendes and his Tuga Cabal completly rule over football, and there is nothing you can do against it. Reminder that:

>bogdanoff's bow to Mendes
>in contact with the soul of the guy who invented Football
>rumoured to possess telepathic skills
>control Portugal with an iron fist
>own castles and national banks all around the world
>direct descendant of the Portuguese Blood Royal Line
>Already owns parcels of Mars (Mendestan will be be the first country)
>Owns 99% of DNA on Earth
>First designer babies will in all likelihood be just like Mendes
>said to have 900+ IQ, such intelligence on Earth has only existed deep in Tibetan monasteries & Area 51
>Ancient Portuguese mythology claims a national of it will descend upon Earth and will bring an era of enlightenment and unprecedented technological progress with him
>this is Jorge Mendes
>Owns Nanobot R&B labs around the world
>all footballers have Mendroids inside them
>in regular communication with (Jorge) Jesus himself Archangels Michael and Gabriel, forwarding the word of God to the Catholic Church
>Petrol states entrust their gold reserves with the Jorge. There's no gold in Ft. Knox, only Ft. Mendes
>the big red phone in the Qatar is a direct line to the Mendes Keep
>last time they missed a call Mendes made Monaco winning Ligue 1

You can't stop the Eternal Luso!